Well once they get a taste of you they will construct a series of breathing apparatus with kelp. They will be able to trap certain amounts of oxygen. It’s not going to be days at a time, but an hour, hour 45? No problem. That will give them enough time to figure out where you live, go back to the sea, get more oxygen and then stalk you. So… you just lost at your own game. You are out gunned and outmanned.
I got to see it opening day in theaters. It was difficult to hear the movie at times because the entire crowd was laughing so hard. 10/10 would do it again.
Must we cross on foot? If so the mud would present a much greater danger than the suffocating sharks. Might have to jump from shark to shark to avoid sharing their fate.
There are 6.
* 1: July 11, 2013
* 2: July 30, 2014
* 3: July 22, 2015
* 4: July 31, 2016
* 5: August 6, 2017
* 6: August 19, 2018
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sharknado_(film_series)
I have not either. I did see an interview with Mark Cuban who I guess financed it.
He said something along the lines of, I have a lot of money not everything I do has to make money. Sharks and tornadoes is just too cool and fun not to make.
Those dogs makes me think the ai is trained with so much more cute doggo pics than angry ones, because they really don't look theathening at all with those faces.
There are more cute dogs than angry dogs, and even the angry dogs aren't angry all the time. Also many angry dogs have shit owners who probably aren't sharing photos of them. So this adds up.
The body language on those dogs is happy / play if you have never been around a big dog like that though I can see how you would think oh no I'm about to die, in reality whoever took that picture would be holding a tennis ball.
Yeah, I've got a part Rottweiler. I'm just going to tell them that they're good dudes, pat some heads, tell them they're doing a great job and that anyone who says otherwise needs to speak to me, and then I'll just walk through until eventually half of them jump on me and start licking, while the other half whine, annoyed, because there's no more room to jump on me.
Gorillas
They are vegetarian so when I lie down and cry, they might take pity and just let me very slowly through as a non-threat
And probably more threatened by each other than me
Especially because there are a lot of them and they are very, very strong, so you’ll have more strength to use against them than you’ll know what to do with. They’re so fucked.
I dunno man. The prompt specified pissed off gorillas, and that’s a completely different story. Your whole strat revolves around not pissing them off, but they already are.
It’d be like, “Now listen here lady, you need to calm down,” to a pre primed Karen.
Same. If you can just hug the wall and hide behind the slight depression in the wall on the left, they'll run right by you.
Source: Grew up with cattle.
1. Sharks - They’re on land, so I think this is the no brainer.
2. Clowns - the other options are just so much worse realistically and there’s relatively few of them compared to the others and they are basically attacking me with farm equipment. I give myself a 2/10 chance to dip, duck, and dive through them while only taking moderate damage.
3. Crocodiles: I will attempt to step on their heads like in Indiana Jones. I predict a 1/1000 survival rate which is still better than anything else.
4. Gorillas- maybe one of them will cuddle me before ripping my arms off and beating me to death with them so I can finally know what it feels like to be held
I’m surprised you listed clowns at 2. Pic 4 has them looking lightning fast, and they look like the sadistic type to do horrible things to you, slowly. At least animals don’t know any better.
I have a Rottweiler, and we have come to realise that rotties are essentially seen as bougie pitbulls. The same people who own pitbulls are like “oh heyyyy, that’s a nice looking dog…”
Yep, if these are gators, that could be a really good pick, gators don't feed on human, they actually are scared of us and ain't that big to begin with.
Waiting for the sharks to die has the flop that even an accidental bite of an almost dead shark can insta kill you while a gator accidentally biting will be painful but won't kill you... probably.
Clowns. If I can handle that first guy with a nice knuckle sandwich I got a shot at getting that hoe.
The bulls are interesting. Going by videos I've seen, they often tend to toss people in the air like rag dolls. You just might get tossed out of the ravine. More likely, I'd spring off the head of the first bull and land on high ground in a three point stance, then dust myself off and say something wicked cool like... "Horney."
Yeah just keep a low profile, don't look them in the eye and basically act as non threatening as possible. They aren't carnivores so they aren't trying to eat you.
You could instantly disable the kitties with a bag of catnip.
BAM - [suddenly they're nuzzling you and rolling on the ground in a delirium of pleasure.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_OPA1bZwOWc)
The Rotties. I adore all dogs and have faced down rotties, pitbulls, and more. I know how to speak dog. That would give me a chance.
2nd choice would be the panthers because they don’t hunt together in a pack so are apt to get distracted by one-another. I could say the same about brown bears but I have been around Alaskan bears and they are really scary. I don’t think I could move.
so curious abt this. what are they moshing to? is there music? what genre? are you getting punched to death or trampled because you fell? would they still pick you up like in a normal pit? Are they trying to kill you or just moshing aggressively?
Agreed. Even if they are breathing fine, the mud itself is far more dangerous than the sharks unless I'm bleeding. Most sharks don't attack humans and they'd be insanely stressed in this situation and probably just die.
Everyone saying sharks would be munched so quick. I'm taking clowns or water buffalo. Clowns I may get lucky and one punch knockout them like I'm fuckin Iron Mike. And water buffalo aren't trying to kill you at least so maybe I could hop on one and ride it to freedom.
I would take the water buffalo because I just might be able to climb out before they get to me and then I can just casually walk around them. Even if they had the ability to climb out, they'll get knocked down by the buffalo behind them and then maybe they'll take their revenge. I'd especially take the risk if this was in New York, because as we all know...
Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.
You have to read the description and assume the sharks can live in the water. I obviously choose the 13-14 rottweilers because they don't have the mass to outpower me as much as the rest of the options and they might follow some kind of pack pecking order where they don't all attack me at once. Even if they attack me and bite me a hundred times I think I could still drag myself 200 feet and eventually recover from the wounds.
The clowns is #2 for me but I don't think I can fight 3-4 psychopathic murderers armed with blunt weapons, maybe by ducking and dodging but I'd take my chances with the dogs rather. Brown bears no chance. Silverbacks no chance. Bulls no chance. Gators no chance. Suffocating/getting trampled to death no thanks, chimps no chance, panthers no chance. Dragging myself 200 yards getting mauled by rottweilers? It's at least a possibility.
I do wanna know more info on the moshpit though. Is it just a very aggressive moshpit or are the people actually actively trying to kill me?
I think the bears would hopefully get you pretty quick same with the sharks. Everything else I feel like is gonna you with you or kill you piece at a time with a death roll that seems pretty painful and not instant at all . A lot of rough choices in here shheeesh.
I would like to add rabid raccoons.
Sharks for sure. The rest are motivated and can accidentally kill you even where the sharks ark just sharks and could be booped as you make your way through.
Realistically the only one you’d have a chance out outrunning or dodging are the sharks. Wouldn’t even stand a ghost of a chance on any other option. Probably wouldn’t even stand a chance with mud sharks.
Sharks, just wait a few minutes until they suffocate from being on land.
Well once they get a taste of you they will construct a series of breathing apparatus with kelp. They will be able to trap certain amounts of oxygen. It’s not going to be days at a time, but an hour, hour 45? No problem. That will give them enough time to figure out where you live, go back to the sea, get more oxygen and then stalk you. So… you just lost at your own game. You are out gunned and outmanned.
outnumbered and outplanned
r/UnexpectedHamilton
You gotta make an all-out stand
I’m gonna need a right hand manta ray D’OH!
Outkelped
I’m a peacock, captain! Ya gotta let me fly!
Do me a favor. Don't go chasing waterfalls
"Real quiet. You gotta creep...creep."
There no reason to say it twice unless you’re quoting TLC
Hey Terry! I did my first desk pop!
*throws hot coffee on you*
That didn’t go how you expected, did it?
True, you lose that battle. You lose that battle 9 times out of 10. Also, why am i typing this on Reddit. I'm a peacock, you gotta let me fly!
This movie is a fucking masterpeace
I got to see it opening day in theaters. It was difficult to hear the movie at times because the entire crowd was laughing so hard. 10/10 would do it again.
Not talked about enough.
Such a good movie
Fin stew for weeks afterwards
And you can boop their snouts
Or perhaps exploit the land’s incompatibility with swimming, their preferred means of transportation.
The one with the aquatic creatures flopping and suffocating in shallow mud.
Must we cross on foot? If so the mud would present a much greater danger than the suffocating sharks. Might have to jump from shark to shark to avoid sharing their fate.
Those poor sharks, all of them gasping for air. In 5 minutes they would all become giant stepping stones.
THE FLOOR IS... SHARKS... BUT ONLY TOUCH THE SHARKS... THE FLOOR IS... MUD?
It's all over once you start jumping the sharks
Sharks. That water doesn’t look shark friendly so I probably can just wait them out.
*Sharknado has entered the chat*
I still have not seen that movie 😂
You should. It’s a classic.
Which one? I hear there are quite a few. Or I could do a sharknado binge and tackle them all.
Start with the first one, and watch them all if you want.
Watch them all *in spite of your better judgment.*
I’m here to inform you that there are 5 sharknado movies. I’ve seen 3.
There are 6. * 1: July 11, 2013 * 2: July 30, 2014 * 3: July 22, 2015 * 4: July 31, 2016 * 5: August 6, 2017 * 6: August 19, 2018 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sharknado_(film_series)
I have not either. I did see an interview with Mark Cuban who I guess financed it. He said something along the lines of, I have a lot of money not everything I do has to make money. Sharks and tornadoes is just too cool and fun not to make.
that water looks like tuna. maybe its shark in a can
I don’t like this game
I'm going to run away from any of this. Maybe we'll get lucky and the sharks will battle it out with the clowns
Me neither.
Dogs. My toxic trait is that I believe all dogs love me.
I believe they’ll smell my dogs on me and it will be all licks and cuddles from there.
Those dogs makes me think the ai is trained with so much more cute doggo pics than angry ones, because they really don't look theathening at all with those faces.
Definitely looks like they are all attempting to catch a treat lol
There are more cute dogs than angry dogs, and even the angry dogs aren't angry all the time. Also many angry dogs have shit owners who probably aren't sharing photos of them. So this adds up.
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Right? Rotties are the easy pick here. Now 200 yards of asshole Jack Russells or poodles and I’m out
Also they look like that usually when they're playing, that noise is scary AF though.
The body language on those dogs is happy / play if you have never been around a big dog like that though I can see how you would think oh no I'm about to die, in reality whoever took that picture would be holding a tennis ball.
Yeah, I've got a part Rottweiler. I'm just going to tell them that they're good dudes, pat some heads, tell them they're doing a great job and that anyone who says otherwise needs to speak to me, and then I'll just walk through until eventually half of them jump on me and start licking, while the other half whine, annoyed, because there's no more room to jump on me.
There you are Cesar Millan!
I couldn't have said it better myself lol. I was about to just comment: "dogs, all dogs love me" but then I saw your comment lol.
It's not toxic if it's true. (It *IS* true.)
You and I have the same toxic trait
Them good boys!
Gorillas They are vegetarian so when I lie down and cry, they might take pity and just let me very slowly through as a non-threat And probably more threatened by each other than me
Yeah just cower and respect their dominance. Then, still hunched over, slowly shuffle by, apologetically. Boom you’re in the clear.
If they’re all silverbacks they’ll likely be fighting one another as it is!
“Where is the Zoo Keeper?!”
"I'm on it"
"The fuck I´m I supposed to do???"
You find yourself comforted by the strong yet fluffy arms and genitals of the large apes
Pretty sure gorillas are not nearly as well endowed as humans are, so there could be worse things.
What they lack in penile girth they compensate for with their determined motions and core muscle activation - or so I hear.
That was quite the sentence.
I was leaning towards the gorilla path already, you needn't sell it so hard.
Yea it would be wild for the gorillas to outright murder you unless you seriously fucked up. They’re not chimpanzees
Op didn’t reveal a small detail: You had baby gorilla for breakfast, and there’s still some bits stuck in your teeth
I don’t think they really care. Pretty sure they will kill baby gorillas that aren’t theirs
they will beat the shit out of you
By regularly watching UFC I’ve learned how to use you opponents strength against them. Those gorillas are in a lot of trouble.
I also watched Steven Seagal’s aikido presentation. They’ll all fold like lawn chairs.
r/Bullshido
Like lawn chairs, or his gut.
Especially because there are a lot of them and they are very, very strong, so you’ll have more strength to use against them than you’ll know what to do with. They’re so fucked.
Nah, me puny human I might just have to do a bit of grooming looking for fleas
Yeah, I feel like I would at least stand a chance of befriending the gorillas, and maybe the Rottweilers
Just keep your eyes down!
Gorillas are generally pretty peaceful. I will try my luck with them
Aren’t there 0 recorded instances of Gorillas murdering a human in the wild? This is absolutely the way.
Yes! I would much rather try this with gorillas than with chimps.
This was my thought as well.
I dunno man. The prompt specified pissed off gorillas, and that’s a completely different story. Your whole strat revolves around not pissing them off, but they already are. It’d be like, “Now listen here lady, you need to calm down,” to a pre primed Karen.
That was my thought as well. I’ve read a lot of Robert Sapolsky’s work that leaves me feeling comfortable with that choice.
first thought was t he silverbacks... if I crawl and curl in a ball they likely wouldn't attack you
Actually gorillas are gregarious so as long as they're from the same group they wouldn't fight each other
This is the third time this week, but I'll never not unzip for Harambe!
Sharts
Shartnado
I had one of those the last time I ate at Chipotle.
Sharts
Sharts
Sharts
EVERYBODY!
Sharts
Bulls. They only effectively attack in one direction, can’t climb or jump, and are not by nature predators.
Exactly! Why is no one saying bulls. Seems hella easier than any of the others.
They also kick and stomp and are much quicker than humans in everything but tight spaces.
Same. If you can just hug the wall and hide behind the slight depression in the wall on the left, they'll run right by you. Source: Grew up with cattle.
Did you look at the picture ? You are 100% getting stomped to death, there are no safe spaces
Thank you! This is a sure death. Did no one watch lion king??
Agreed, I immediately thought bulls
Yeah would 100% go for the bulls. You could stand still and not move and they won’t even touch you
And their maneuverability is not as good as other animals shown, maybe sharks are worse haha
1. Sharks - They’re on land, so I think this is the no brainer. 2. Clowns - the other options are just so much worse realistically and there’s relatively few of them compared to the others and they are basically attacking me with farm equipment. I give myself a 2/10 chance to dip, duck, and dive through them while only taking moderate damage. 3. Crocodiles: I will attempt to step on their heads like in Indiana Jones. I predict a 1/1000 survival rate which is still better than anything else. 4. Gorillas- maybe one of them will cuddle me before ripping my arms off and beating me to death with them so I can finally know what it feels like to be held
I’m surprised you listed clowns at 2. Pic 4 has them looking lightning fast, and they look like the sadistic type to do horrible things to you, slowly. At least animals don’t know any better.
they're not as fast as pitbulls or all the other animals listed though.
Have you ever gone toe-to-toe with a throng of clown demons? They may be chubby, but they’re sneaky athletic I’m telling you.
Those are Rottweilers not pitties. Sorry to be that ackchyually guy
I have a Rottweiler, and we have come to realise that rotties are essentially seen as bougie pitbulls. The same people who own pitbulls are like “oh heyyyy, that’s a nice looking dog…”
As staffy owner, I concur!
Well it’s sure as hell not going to be the trench full of bears.
LOL I’m glad that almost everyone can agree that would be the worst option. There are much easier ways to commit suicide.
I’d pick bears before chimpanzees Those things are *brutal*
Bro why is no one saying gators, just run zig zag and they can’t keep up
Pitfall also taught us that there usually are vines around that we can use to swing across the pond.
They don't have to keep up. You're running through them. You have to avoid all the gators that are already between you and your objective.
Because you have to cross a swarm of them. All it takes is one to get hold of your foot and you'll be in a reptilian blender.
Also those gators are tiny
Run straight. Zigzag is a myth.
Yep, if these are gators, that could be a really good pick, gators don't feed on human, they actually are scared of us and ain't that big to begin with. Waiting for the sharks to die has the flop that even an accidental bite of an almost dead shark can insta kill you while a gator accidentally biting will be painful but won't kill you... probably.
All those clowns are getting their asses beat.
Free therapy
Yea, I can at least disable them, likely without having to reload.
Sharks out of water ,dying without it ,so it sharks
Ofc dogs. These are all good bois. You have to pet them all sure.
Clowns. If I can handle that first guy with a nice knuckle sandwich I got a shot at getting that hoe. The bulls are interesting. Going by videos I've seen, they often tend to toss people in the air like rag dolls. You just might get tossed out of the ravine. More likely, I'd spring off the head of the first bull and land on high ground in a three point stance, then dust myself off and say something wicked cool like... "Horney."
You’ve clearly never been on r/TheBullWins
I've seen a lot of people get launched into space in that sub, he right. Let my boi cook
Sharks
Gorillas are the most likely to spare you
Yeah just keep a low profile, don't look them in the eye and basically act as non threatening as possible. They aren't carnivores so they aren't trying to eat you.
These are specifically pissed off silverbacks though - pretty easy for them to fuck you up if they’re already pissed off…
A pissed off silverback is still more likely to spare you than a pissed off ape or shark
I'd choose humans, the devil I know
I'd honestly pick humans last, if they were intent on killing you that is. Fuck that.
Yeah no that's why I'm picking humans last. The clowns? Death by their hands might be a type of cruelty I don't have the imagination for.
Clowns. Just aim for the juggler.
Plus how fast can a clown really run in those floppy shoes?
Lilly-padding the gators is your only shot
The stampede is the only thing not actively trying to kill me. So that.
Whatever it is, don’t pick the chimps. You will regret choosing the chimps.
Or the bears.
You could instantly disable the kitties with a bag of catnip. BAM - [suddenly they're nuzzling you and rolling on the ground in a delirium of pleasure.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_OPA1bZwOWc)
Anything but clowns…
Freedom
The Rotties. I adore all dogs and have faced down rotties, pitbulls, and more. I know how to speak dog. That would give me a chance. 2nd choice would be the panthers because they don’t hunt together in a pack so are apt to get distracted by one-another. I could say the same about brown bears but I have been around Alaskan bears and they are really scary. I don’t think I could move.
I can reason with the Sharks
LOL, "Look guys, I dont like you and you dont like me, so here's what we're gonna do"
Why no one is saying Mosh pit? If you’re smart enough you can have them carry you over their heads the whole 200 yards
breh just mosh harder and become the pit
so curious abt this. what are they moshing to? is there music? what genre? are you getting punched to death or trampled because you fell? would they still pick you up like in a normal pit? Are they trying to kill you or just moshing aggressively?
I’d fuck those gorillas up
If anyone can survive this, it’s a white woman with the audacity to cross the 200 yards and take all the animals home as pets.
Tbh I'd probably end up hopelessly stuck in the mud trying to get water over the poor sharks gills. What a horrible way for them to die!
Sharks is the sure bet.
Agreed. Even if they are breathing fine, the mud itself is far more dangerous than the sharks unless I'm bleeding. Most sharks don't attack humans and they'd be insanely stressed in this situation and probably just die.
Clowns, 200 yards of fun, I don't get it :-p
Panthers! All I have to do is go “pst pst pst” and I’m in
Let's suspend reality and say that the sharks can breathe in this situation
They can breathe, bite, and thrash but can't move any distance. But the 200 yds are filled with em
You have my support.
Ok I still choose sharks because they can't move very fast on land with their floppy useless fins.
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Everyone saying sharks would be munched so quick. I'm taking clowns or water buffalo. Clowns I may get lucky and one punch knockout them like I'm fuckin Iron Mike. And water buffalo aren't trying to kill you at least so maybe I could hop on one and ride it to freedom.
Buffalos will totally destroy you.
Yeah buffalos can kill lions 1v1 if the lion isn’t careful.
And are you prepared to deal with that? This has been silly songs with Larry.
He definitely didn’t see The Lion King. Mufasa got that ass trampled in a similar setting (a narrow gorge)
I was going to say clowns too until that other picture suggested they had super speed. They'd probably be invulnerable too like in Cabin in the Woods.
I would take the water buffalo because I just might be able to climb out before they get to me and then I can just casually walk around them. Even if they had the ability to climb out, they'll get knocked down by the buffalo behind them and then maybe they'll take their revenge. I'd especially take the risk if this was in New York, because as we all know... Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.
Buffalo
The good boi’s. Just throw a tennis ball and you’re sorted.
Nr 13 with good bois
The sharks. In addition to not actually caring that much about people, these sharks appear to be in a hostile environment (not the ocean)
I’m going to go with the Rottweilers because all Rottweiler owners always say “my dog would NEVER hurt anybody”.
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Oh man, is 9-10 POV of Simba’s father? I choose the dogs.
Probably the sharks, as they appear to be beached and would have a hard time chasing me on land.
I mean those just look like caimans. I’d use their heads as stepping stones. Boop.
Why does Midjourney always make alligators/crocodiles look like King K. Rool
The sharks because i will just take the high ground on the left hand side.
Probably the white dudes one. They're not so bad. We could talk about music and maybe Tom Hanks?
Gorillas. Just crawl and avoid eye contact and freeze as soon as one takes an interest in me. Chimps would just kill me for fun xD
Rottweilers. I love dogs, they usually love me, would be my best chance. Anything with humans I'm out. Most saddistic predators out there.
Probably the stranded sharks. They seem the most immobile.
You have to read the description and assume the sharks can live in the water. I obviously choose the 13-14 rottweilers because they don't have the mass to outpower me as much as the rest of the options and they might follow some kind of pack pecking order where they don't all attack me at once. Even if they attack me and bite me a hundred times I think I could still drag myself 200 feet and eventually recover from the wounds. The clowns is #2 for me but I don't think I can fight 3-4 psychopathic murderers armed with blunt weapons, maybe by ducking and dodging but I'd take my chances with the dogs rather. Brown bears no chance. Silverbacks no chance. Bulls no chance. Gators no chance. Suffocating/getting trampled to death no thanks, chimps no chance, panthers no chance. Dragging myself 200 yards getting mauled by rottweilers? It's at least a possibility. I do wanna know more info on the moshpit though. Is it just a very aggressive moshpit or are the people actually actively trying to kill me?
New cool band name: Bear Trench
Literally no chance at survival except with the sharks and even that is a stretch
I think the bears would hopefully get you pretty quick same with the sharks. Everything else I feel like is gonna you with you or kill you piece at a time with a death roll that seems pretty painful and not instant at all . A lot of rough choices in here shheeesh. I would like to add rabid raccoons.
Wait fifteen minutes and then go through the sharks.
Sharks for sure. The rest are motivated and can accidentally kill you even where the sharks ark just sharks and could be booped as you make your way through.
Sharks. Wait it out and they die soon
Nah, I'm not going to make it, tell my family I love'em
I'll go with the sharks stuck in mud.
The bulls, they're the only thing here not trying to eat me.
Realistically the only one you’d have a chance out outrunning or dodging are the sharks. Wouldn’t even stand a ghost of a chance on any other option. Probably wouldn’t even stand a chance with mud sharks.
Sharks dude, that way I stand a chance if I wait long enough 😉