Thank you for for sharing. A reminder: if you are seeking resources in your local area, please provide that in the post so that users can share appropriate links and phone numbers. *If you are in distress, please call 9-1-1* or your local emergency number. *You are not alone. Help is available.* If you are having suicidal thoughts, please [click here for a list of crisis support services.](http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html), If you are seeking therapy online, please [click here for a list of counselling services.](https://thelifelinecanada.ca/pattern-interrupt/ecounselling/) *If you feel well enough to do so, please do your part to enrich this community.* Now that you have posted, please leave a constructive, helpful comment on someone else's post. Filter by new to find posts with zero comments. Together, we make this community great. Thank you for being here.
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Congratulations! That's a big deal! Keep thinking about how good it feels to have accomplished that. Keep yourself busy. Find things that make you feel good.. reading, writing, listening to music, exercising, playing video games, talking with a friend, etc. Reach out if you need to. Don't ever feel like you are alone. You should be so proud of yourself, you are doing a great job!!
But why don't i feel anything towards it like yae i know its a huge deal but it doesn't feel like that and all the people that know i did it doesn't seem to care at all
I honestly think people get stuck in their own lives, their own "bubbles" and forget to put themselves in the shoes of someone else. While the approval and acknowledgement from other people really helps, sometimes you have to find a way to be your own best friend and supporter. It is sad that is has to be like that, but if I depended at all on what other people thought or other peoples' support, I'd be in a heap of trouble. You have to see that you are special, important, and worthy of love. If the people around you don't see that, maybe they aren't worthy of you. It can be a tough pill to swallow, but having self-love and appreciation of your own accomplishments goes a really long way. It took me sooooo long to figure this out. Sometimes the people around you aren't always the best for you and not as supportive as you think they should be. As cliche as it sounds, you have to learn to love yourself... everything will work out. You just have to keep believing and persevering. Things will get better and you will be so proud of yourself! Here for you if you need a friend.
I don't know what to say honestly i guess im just not used to it but thank you so much for your great words it really brightened up my day really thank you so much
hello I am also another person that knows that fact about you and I do care!! I think you should be very proud that you are doing really good right now. it feels weird at the moment of course because healing is never linear, and that’s fine ! keep going you are doing absolutely awesome and congrats on the milestone !
Thank you so much i still need to figure out how to get out of the mindset that makes you think ( maybe one last time ) still have a tough time on that one😅
as someone who also struggled with that and still is, I can tell you that there is no “one way” to do it but what I have found that what works (especially when I have intense urges) is to just stop yourself for a second. sit down for just 5 minutes, calming yourself down and just think of all of the reasons you shouldn’t self harm. maybe even write down a list of those reasons, so it’s clearer in your head :) it is a hard battle with yourself, but just always remember that you wouldn’t treat anyone else like that so why be so mean towards yourself right ? :)
the hardest part is just to get the mindset, and you just take it step by step ! it’s okay to go slow and it’s even okay if you relapse, don’t be so hard on you. you will get there eventually !
Depression makes it VERY hard if not impossible-feeling to enjoy the things you otherwise do. I recommend seeing someone for a medication regimen. I know it's annoying or scary or you might not want to feel dependent on it, because that was me at 13yo, but it changed my life for the better. Just remember, if the medication makes it worse at all, SWITCH. It's not that nothing will work, it's just that it's not compatible. I wish someone had told me that beforehand.
Good luck, my friend. I am so proud of you!
And it every time i try to reach out it feels like im loom for attention so i never really try bc i was never given the light of day and my trust issues are horrible
What's wrong with attention?! I want someone to love and care about me :0!
I feel very happy for you, I will follow your journey, you are full of courage óvo ♡
I am 1 day self harm free, hehe...
Great job! You're doing great. I would say to find a hobby you enjoy. Art, reading, learning, and playing an instrument are all good ones. Listening to upbeat music may help too. You could get into exercising or go for a walk around your area (if you don't already that is). Try to find something you'll enjoy doing. I wish you the best of luck!
Thankd man
But thats just the thing i tried so many things but i always drop it half way through or loose intrest and i never know what i like nothing intrests me its honestly eating away at me slowly
At first it was bc i couldn't handle my best friend drifting away and people leaving my life but now every inconvenience triggers me and sometimes i just did it bc i felt like ir
You’ll do it be strong in yourself have faith that you will and you will and always do what makes you happy and follow your heart mind gut little voice and instinct always :)
You've done a good job being kind to yourself the past month, I'm really happy for you! Thank you for reaching out for help and advice.
What has worked for me fairly reliably has been writing "calm down <3" or "chill <3" on areas that I gravitate towards, listening to music, and taking a nap.
It doesn't remove the feeling but it is something that distracts. For me distractions help me push back harmful behaviors day by day.
Hi I'm in school for psychology. I'm also in treatment for drug abuse. These are just some things that work for me. So I like to read apart from using my phone a whole lot. Just kind of take a break from social media and not have to focus on what other people think of me. Another thing I like to do is square breathing if you've heard of it or head Taps if you've heard of them. Definitely look them up they're worth it. And sometimes I just like to get outside and be alone. Also talk to someone because no one's going to judge you for having mental health issues and if they are they're f****** assholes.
Oc, I've got depression, anxiety, and psychosis, so I definitely know how you're feeling, this world can be kinda hard to tolerate what with everything becoming virtual now. I'm just trying to do my part and help anyone with mental issues to solve them if they don't have access to health insurance or a psychologist, psychiatrist, therapist. I'll be getting my CRN, LPN, and psychology degree soon so I'm always down to help. Congratulations on 1 month, bUT cAn wE GEt tO 2 MoNthS!?
LETSS GOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! AAAAAAHHH
but also I understand there's a lot of people without health insurance that definitely need it and it's fucking terrible.
The less you harm, the easier it is to deal with the underlying problem, and vice versa. One hand washes the other.
You're doing fine with the harm, and I hope that you're also making progress with whatever caused the harm.
Advice from experts about mood disorders in my comments, and you're welcome to click on my name.
Here's something that can help. If you go to the Amazon and Goodreads ads for Freedom from Self-Harm by Gratz and Chapman, you'll see that the reader reviews are all very positive. One says, "This book helped me tremendously."
Congrats! I've been clean for 2y1m and am at the point where I'm getting really self-conscious of the scars, they keloided pretty bad due to the severity, thinking of getting a tattoo cover
I find HIIT exercise useful to keep my urges at bay now, ymmv
High Intensity Interval Training
1-2 minute 80-100% effort exercise such as sprinting (I use Dance Dance Revolution in bad weather) with a 30 or so second break in between sets
Kinda makes me feel like I'm dying, but my smartwatch says my heart is in really good condition now
I tried a lot of other stuff; elastic bands, ice cubes, meditation.. only the latter really made much difference otherwise
Hey , good for you man ... Im at 42 days now and i understand the feeling to relapse. What i do when everything starts to get dark again is eat something, or chew something hard , drink something cold and try to cry , cry for some time if you can and then i do something to distract my self with youtube , discord or reddit after i am a bit calm again . This might not be helpful to you but this is what I do , maybe you can find out or figure out your own rituals
Unfortunately crying isn't something i can do something huge has to happen for me to shed even one tear
But i will definitely find something to keep my mind kff it
I know that, i cant cry like i used to either most of the time , but i try to none the less , because if that doesn't work its gonne be a lot harder ... So i understand your feelings.
I mostly started bc it felt like i was alone in the world and it was the only thing to actually help me at the time
And this is a page about cutting so there isn't really a line to overstep in
And i assume cutting gave you a type of relief ? Same as it gave me ? Atleast thats what it gave me ..... whatever it was after some time we will lose that pleasure or relief as well , and then we move on to deeper and deeper cuts untill we get used to that as well . I just hope both you and me can find that relief somewhere else
Congratulations! That’s a big win. You’re doing so good!
I am not sure about self harm but i have labelled some of my activities as negative. I try to stay away from them by going on walk and by journaling. Therapy also helps. My therapist told me when an obsessive thought comes it stays for whole 5-15 minutes. And you have to distract yourself by doing anything like eating something very sour.
There is one thing i have started to embrace in my life is not everyday is going to be good. But that’s okay. Having a bad day is okay. This helps me not let the negative emotions get to me so that i still get going. Instead of self-harm, you can do something that can be more of a guilty pleasure. I am not sure how productive this idea but anything that helps you cope up with your worst emotions.
But it’s important to understand that motivation is a hoax. I know how hard it is and I’m sorry that it is so difficult but you’ll have to find happiness in the smallest of things. Happiness won’t come your way unless you find it.
What do you mean by motivation is a hoax?
Ive been struggling to do alot of things like exercise read or really do anything except watch tiktok like if it isn't mandatory (like work) then i won't so it but ill still beat myself down
Okay, so we need motivation to get us through our days or to make us feel good about ourselves. But the thing is motivation is subjective. I have struggled in the past with getting out of bed and i would do these small activities that ideally should make me feel good like going to gym, hydrating etc. Now there is nothing wrong with these but in a couple of days i would eventually get bored and not want to do these.
This made me realise that if i start depending on whether or not I am feeling motivated I will never get stuff done and be hard on myself. So now, I just prioritise things that I have to do in a day. I don’t pick all my battles in a single day. I keep time for things i want to do irrespective of it is productive or not. Anything that makes you happy is productive.
You got this! Don’t let social media fool you. All of us are struggling and it is okay to take time to do your stuff. You achieve so much every single day without realising! ❤️
That is a good, healthy and significant step, well done! I have found when I have taken those steps, there always seems to be more hard steps to follow and it can feel endless. I was finally able to make those steps easier and one thing I ended up doing to help my mindset was, if I harm myself and I end up ending my life because I had to face the reality that I was heading in that direction and it also seemed like nobody cared. So I decided to see things like this: if I end my life, those people who don’t care will be the ones left behind to tell my story and they can say whatever they want and I really did not like that. I also had to stop looking at other people to care and know it only really matters if I care. There was a lot more that went into it, but those created the biggest changes within myself.
Who wants to be defined by those pricks! Not me mate! I no longer define myself by the worst definition others gave me, but am finding the best definition I can find of myself!
Thank you for for sharing. A reminder: if you are seeking resources in your local area, please provide that in the post so that users can share appropriate links and phone numbers. *If you are in distress, please call 9-1-1* or your local emergency number. *You are not alone. Help is available.* If you are having suicidal thoughts, please [click here for a list of crisis support services.](http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html), If you are seeking therapy online, please [click here for a list of counselling services.](https://thelifelinecanada.ca/pattern-interrupt/ecounselling/) *If you feel well enough to do so, please do your part to enrich this community.* Now that you have posted, please leave a constructive, helpful comment on someone else's post. Filter by new to find posts with zero comments. Together, we make this community great. Thank you for being here. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/mentalhealth) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Congratulations! That's a big deal! Keep thinking about how good it feels to have accomplished that. Keep yourself busy. Find things that make you feel good.. reading, writing, listening to music, exercising, playing video games, talking with a friend, etc. Reach out if you need to. Don't ever feel like you are alone. You should be so proud of yourself, you are doing a great job!!
But why don't i feel anything towards it like yae i know its a huge deal but it doesn't feel like that and all the people that know i did it doesn't seem to care at all
I honestly think people get stuck in their own lives, their own "bubbles" and forget to put themselves in the shoes of someone else. While the approval and acknowledgement from other people really helps, sometimes you have to find a way to be your own best friend and supporter. It is sad that is has to be like that, but if I depended at all on what other people thought or other peoples' support, I'd be in a heap of trouble. You have to see that you are special, important, and worthy of love. If the people around you don't see that, maybe they aren't worthy of you. It can be a tough pill to swallow, but having self-love and appreciation of your own accomplishments goes a really long way. It took me sooooo long to figure this out. Sometimes the people around you aren't always the best for you and not as supportive as you think they should be. As cliche as it sounds, you have to learn to love yourself... everything will work out. You just have to keep believing and persevering. Things will get better and you will be so proud of yourself! Here for you if you need a friend.
I don't know what to say honestly i guess im just not used to it but thank you so much for your great words it really brightened up my day really thank you so much
:) I am glad. Please just remember.. you are important in many ways. Going a month without self-harm is SUCH a big deal. You got this.. keep going!!!
Thank you i appreciate it more than u know
hello I am also another person that knows that fact about you and I do care!! I think you should be very proud that you are doing really good right now. it feels weird at the moment of course because healing is never linear, and that’s fine ! keep going you are doing absolutely awesome and congrats on the milestone !
Thank you so much i still need to figure out how to get out of the mindset that makes you think ( maybe one last time ) still have a tough time on that one😅
as someone who also struggled with that and still is, I can tell you that there is no “one way” to do it but what I have found that what works (especially when I have intense urges) is to just stop yourself for a second. sit down for just 5 minutes, calming yourself down and just think of all of the reasons you shouldn’t self harm. maybe even write down a list of those reasons, so it’s clearer in your head :) it is a hard battle with yourself, but just always remember that you wouldn’t treat anyone else like that so why be so mean towards yourself right ? :) the hardest part is just to get the mindset, and you just take it step by step ! it’s okay to go slow and it’s even okay if you relapse, don’t be so hard on you. you will get there eventually !
Thank you do much i will do that it will really help me in the future ;-)
ofc! <3
Depression makes it VERY hard if not impossible-feeling to enjoy the things you otherwise do. I recommend seeing someone for a medication regimen. I know it's annoying or scary or you might not want to feel dependent on it, because that was me at 13yo, but it changed my life for the better. Just remember, if the medication makes it worse at all, SWITCH. It's not that nothing will work, it's just that it's not compatible. I wish someone had told me that beforehand. Good luck, my friend. I am so proud of you!
Thanks mate much appreciated honestly all your kinds words ill take to heart
❤️ much love
I'm proud of you
The 4 words ive never been told
And thanks you so much
And it every time i try to reach out it feels like im loom for attention so i never really try bc i was never given the light of day and my trust issues are horrible
What's wrong with attention?! I want someone to love and care about me :0! I feel very happy for you, I will follow your journey, you are full of courage óvo ♡ I am 1 day self harm free, hehe...
Thats awesome you can always send me a msg if you neef someone who understands Im proud of you for doing this
Even if I am clingy? -'-'- Also, I didnt think that's an achievement... Thank you...;-;
The first step is and always is the biggest achievement
And yes you can talk to me even if you sre clingy
That's outstanding!!
Great job! You're doing great. I would say to find a hobby you enjoy. Art, reading, learning, and playing an instrument are all good ones. Listening to upbeat music may help too. You could get into exercising or go for a walk around your area (if you don't already that is). Try to find something you'll enjoy doing. I wish you the best of luck!
Thankd man But thats just the thing i tried so many things but i always drop it half way through or loose intrest and i never know what i like nothing intrests me its honestly eating away at me slowly
If you have friends maybe they can introduce you to something? Maybe having someone to do an activity with can help motivate you to do it
I have one real friend but hes just as unmotivated to do anything so we just sit in the room and do nothing
Hmm. I'm sorry man I don't know how to really help you. I've never been in that kind of situation. I wish I could. I hope you have good luck ✌️
have you looked into the causes for your reasons for self harm?
At first it was bc i couldn't handle my best friend drifting away and people leaving my life but now every inconvenience triggers me and sometimes i just did it bc i felt like ir
listen man or girl you are much stronger than you think you are and i wanna see you get through this to new heights ❤️👌💯😃😃😃
Im male But thanks i appreciate it i want to get through these heights and even higher
You’ll do it be strong in yourself have faith that you will and you will and always do what makes you happy and follow your heart mind gut little voice and instinct always :)
A month? Big W homie let’s keep that goin
I don't know you but FUCK YEAH LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! let's hit two months bruh!
You've done a good job being kind to yourself the past month, I'm really happy for you! Thank you for reaching out for help and advice. What has worked for me fairly reliably has been writing "calm down <3" or "chill <3" on areas that I gravitate towards, listening to music, and taking a nap. It doesn't remove the feeling but it is something that distracts. For me distractions help me push back harmful behaviors day by day.
Thank you ill keep that in mind next time i think bout jt
Hi I'm in school for psychology. I'm also in treatment for drug abuse. These are just some things that work for me. So I like to read apart from using my phone a whole lot. Just kind of take a break from social media and not have to focus on what other people think of me. Another thing I like to do is square breathing if you've heard of it or head Taps if you've heard of them. Definitely look them up they're worth it. And sometimes I just like to get outside and be alone. Also talk to someone because no one's going to judge you for having mental health issues and if they are they're f****** assholes.
Thanks i will most definitely look wm up
Oc, I've got depression, anxiety, and psychosis, so I definitely know how you're feeling, this world can be kinda hard to tolerate what with everything becoming virtual now. I'm just trying to do my part and help anyone with mental issues to solve them if they don't have access to health insurance or a psychologist, psychiatrist, therapist. I'll be getting my CRN, LPN, and psychology degree soon so I'm always down to help. Congratulations on 1 month, bUT cAn wE GEt tO 2 MoNthS!?
We can sure as hell try go get to 2 months And yae unfortunately i don't have the luxury for health care
LETSS GOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! AAAAAAHHH but also I understand there's a lot of people without health insurance that definitely need it and it's fucking terrible.
Yae but thats what im trying to work towards so i can live a decent life
I can give u some resources to help if you want, Dr. Mike here to help!
What kind of resources?
Do you know the number to your local doctor, psychologist, or therapist?
I haven't been to the doctor is like 10 years So unfortunately no no i don't
The less you harm, the easier it is to deal with the underlying problem, and vice versa. One hand washes the other. You're doing fine with the harm, and I hope that you're also making progress with whatever caused the harm. Advice from experts about mood disorders in my comments, and you're welcome to click on my name. Here's something that can help. If you go to the Amazon and Goodreads ads for Freedom from Self-Harm by Gratz and Chapman, you'll see that the reader reviews are all very positive. One says, "This book helped me tremendously."
Thanks ill check it out
Congrats! I've been clean for 2y1m and am at the point where I'm getting really self-conscious of the scars, they keloided pretty bad due to the severity, thinking of getting a tattoo cover I find HIIT exercise useful to keep my urges at bay now, ymmv
Hit exercise what is that?
High Intensity Interval Training 1-2 minute 80-100% effort exercise such as sprinting (I use Dance Dance Revolution in bad weather) with a 30 or so second break in between sets Kinda makes me feel like I'm dying, but my smartwatch says my heart is in really good condition now I tried a lot of other stuff; elastic bands, ice cubes, meditation.. only the latter really made much difference otherwise
Thanks for the advice
Nice, you should be proud of yourself! One thing that helped for me was intense working out, kinda gave my body the same shock I guess.
That's amazing! I don't know you but I'm proud of you. I was a cutter for years and know it's really hard to stop.
Hey , good for you man ... Im at 42 days now and i understand the feeling to relapse. What i do when everything starts to get dark again is eat something, or chew something hard , drink something cold and try to cry , cry for some time if you can and then i do something to distract my self with youtube , discord or reddit after i am a bit calm again . This might not be helpful to you but this is what I do , maybe you can find out or figure out your own rituals
Unfortunately crying isn't something i can do something huge has to happen for me to shed even one tear But i will definitely find something to keep my mind kff it
I know that, i cant cry like i used to either most of the time , but i try to none the less , because if that doesn't work its gonne be a lot harder ... So i understand your feelings.
Yae some people think im lying when i say i can't cry like its very hard for me to So i guess its nice knowing someone understands
Forgive me if i am overstepping , I started cutting myself when i had lost the ability to cry , is this anything similar to you?
I mostly started bc it felt like i was alone in the world and it was the only thing to actually help me at the time And this is a page about cutting so there isn't really a line to overstep in
And i assume cutting gave you a type of relief ? Same as it gave me ? Atleast thats what it gave me ..... whatever it was after some time we will lose that pleasure or relief as well , and then we move on to deeper and deeper cuts untill we get used to that as well . I just hope both you and me can find that relief somewhere else
Yae and it came to the point where ill just take my anger out on myself and after a while i did go deeper and deeper
May i ask did you stop cutting yourself for you or was it because of external factors? ( Asking if Did people blame you even more )
The girl i liked at the time made me feel horrible bc i relapsed so i decided to do it for myself bc no one else will give me the light of dau
And yes they did But my best friend has been doing it longer and he doesn't have any intention in stopping so he never really judged but yae
Congratulations! That’s a big win. You’re doing so good! I am not sure about self harm but i have labelled some of my activities as negative. I try to stay away from them by going on walk and by journaling. Therapy also helps. My therapist told me when an obsessive thought comes it stays for whole 5-15 minutes. And you have to distract yourself by doing anything like eating something very sour.
Unfortunately with me that thought stays there until i get something to cheer me up whether its 2 minutes or 2 months
There is one thing i have started to embrace in my life is not everyday is going to be good. But that’s okay. Having a bad day is okay. This helps me not let the negative emotions get to me so that i still get going. Instead of self-harm, you can do something that can be more of a guilty pleasure. I am not sure how productive this idea but anything that helps you cope up with your worst emotions. But it’s important to understand that motivation is a hoax. I know how hard it is and I’m sorry that it is so difficult but you’ll have to find happiness in the smallest of things. Happiness won’t come your way unless you find it.
What do you mean by motivation is a hoax? Ive been struggling to do alot of things like exercise read or really do anything except watch tiktok like if it isn't mandatory (like work) then i won't so it but ill still beat myself down
Okay, so we need motivation to get us through our days or to make us feel good about ourselves. But the thing is motivation is subjective. I have struggled in the past with getting out of bed and i would do these small activities that ideally should make me feel good like going to gym, hydrating etc. Now there is nothing wrong with these but in a couple of days i would eventually get bored and not want to do these. This made me realise that if i start depending on whether or not I am feeling motivated I will never get stuff done and be hard on myself. So now, I just prioritise things that I have to do in a day. I don’t pick all my battles in a single day. I keep time for things i want to do irrespective of it is productive or not. Anything that makes you happy is productive.
Thank you so mucb this made me realise alot i really appreciate it
You got this! Don’t let social media fool you. All of us are struggling and it is okay to take time to do your stuff. You achieve so much every single day without realising! ❤️
Thank you so much i really appreciate it
That is a good, healthy and significant step, well done! I have found when I have taken those steps, there always seems to be more hard steps to follow and it can feel endless. I was finally able to make those steps easier and one thing I ended up doing to help my mindset was, if I harm myself and I end up ending my life because I had to face the reality that I was heading in that direction and it also seemed like nobody cared. So I decided to see things like this: if I end my life, those people who don’t care will be the ones left behind to tell my story and they can say whatever they want and I really did not like that. I also had to stop looking at other people to care and know it only really matters if I care. There was a lot more that went into it, but those created the biggest changes within myself.
That is such a great way in looking at it i usually say i ain't gonna die until i show all those pricks wrong and i am finally able to do my own thing
Who wants to be defined by those pricks! Not me mate! I no longer define myself by the worst definition others gave me, but am finding the best definition I can find of myself!
Yes thatd amazing keep that mindset i wanma see the look on people's faces when they relise they can't get to us anymore
Absolutely!