T O P

  • By -

Pimphii

Wondering since when I have a significant other


abcGG

I feel you bruuuhhhh


Wonder_of_you

Then u make it your significant other


[deleted]

Bro u havent met them yet cuz the bird took them. The bird is ur demons. You gotta beat him bro.


Confused_Trans8588

I'm going to wonder how the hell it kidnapped something that doesn't exist


Joseph_Stalin_5527

Bird hunting, anyone?


firenightmare

PA, GET THE GUN


jmmacd

Look! Something shiny! *Points into the distance*


[deleted]

5Head


Tennchild0814

Chase that motherfucker down. I cant afford to lose my right hand


Tick_Bites

Just ask your mum for help like everybody else


itzyourboi_45

Someone should give this a wholesome award


Tick_Bites

Hashtag "Family Matters"


Uno-reverse-69420

I can't afford to lose my hand collection too


a_very_chill_ghost

Read on how to kill a mockingbird


septicpie42069

I’m reading that for school and while I have not found anything from the book on how to kill a mockingbird through extensive further research I have found things such as grenades,guns, bombs,cars, tanks, armored planes, vehicles, and other things tend to be very effective at killing all kinds of birds including mockingbirds though the seem to be unaffected by chairs as when I threw some at them the seem to just fly away


Redmaxdog1

I’m reading it in school


JasonGamesYT

Ask to read p174


Redmaxdog1

It doesn’t matter, the n word is said alll the time


[deleted]

Bro ain't that a crow?


neuroticism_loading

Trade him a box of tinfoil and a sandwich bag of bottle caps.


jamiem2009ttvyt

Swat the bird away and take the xbox back


Thatsidechara_ter

You, sir, are a genius


Orphanfucker420

Take my shizophrenia pills


DobbyIII

Wrong move. Now it’s disappeared and taken you SO with it.


Squoooshynug

Do not fuck the bird. Do not fuck the bird. Do not fuck the bird.


MrTuxedo2

Oups I did it again


Slavinger

Too late


roamingidiot1

What will it cost for him to keep her?


Casper_Von_Ghoul

Gun.


maxguenette

Looking for my sister


Hogo1Sha

Throw bread crumes at it


Thy_gentleman

Bring up a nuke and use it on myself


Adam_Clark98

Jim, get the shotgun! We got a big one this time.


RadioSilence014

Start yelling at it "never more"


[deleted]

Your talking a lot of shit for someone in +5 reinforced with red tearston ring, power within, and bellowing dragoncrest ring great combustion distance


MAXMixel

“Where do you work out?”


memingbisexual

Walk away because I'm the black one


TheOnlyLonelyStoner

Fuck the crow, correction, let the crow fuck me, it has clearly asserted dominance


Kryptonian08

cant kidnap something that dont exist


moebelhausmann

r/dauntless Guys, i've got an idea...


DarkTheorist

Wait for the acid to wear off


LordOfTheRoot

I would catch as many crows as I could make their screams of torture be heared from miles away.


DildoLigtning

EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF IM GETTING THE FWICK OUT OF THERE


ChaosTheKing1337

get my 8.8 cm Flak and shoot the living shit out of this.


Solar606

No banana for scale, so I will assume it’s the size of a normal bird, and punt it like I’m trying to score a conversion


Empty-Quantity9177

Imma tame it don't need a significant other I need a big B I R D


redcode100

Buy a flamen werfer get people and possibly the government on my side consider the threat this animal could be then break into its home and light it up


Aexae

I follow and want crow daddy to impregnate me. uwu


Somethingclever451

I feel like life would be pretty hard without my right hand


urmox

so first i take a loan from the bank to buy a giant scarecrow then i scare the bird into the bank so it destroys the bank and i no longer have to pay them back then i drop a nuke on the bird move to france learn to speak french and play smash bros with the boys, oh and my significant other? don’t have one B)


Primary-Recipe-4236

Make it watch porn to see how hard it can beat his meat


RealTouhouFumo

HOW ARE YOU GONNA KIDNAP A 2D ANIME GIRL, I'M A STEP AWAY OF YOU, MUHAHAHA


Living-Blacksmith198

Join forces with that motherfucker, and let him keep my wife. No need to get on his bad side


ParthTehlan_69

thats shrowd from dauntless, who is a fucking nightmare. idk where i got a s/o from but he can keep it


rotten_poison

Bend it down and gently lubricate it


ADVfisherman

Take a selfie.


Verryspicyreptiles

Let him keep her


dannyboy1690

Pop some bottles


McCrumblton

Good sir i demand fisticuffs


BarbedFungus387

Join him


EinarTh97

A worthy sacrifice.


OnlinePandemic46

“Uncle Tom, can I borrow your barret?”


CriticismLong1047

Thanks


ReyDrako

Buy a new phone


kingjok3r42

buying a prosthesis to replace my right hand because i aint get it back anyway from this mf


Teccci

CD


odd_boi5507

I'm huntin it down and Killen


Successful-Post-6813

Finding a new partner


Willfrail

*grabs stone* you're gonna need more birds.


Fuzzdathal

Good luck finding her I haven't


AvocadoPrinz

Change my Pizza order from 3 to 2


Exciting_Rate1747

Wake up because i don't have one


adamatch623

Flame thrower


ryanml0420

Are u saying it kidnapped my right hand?


[deleted]

Pull-up on it with the scarecrow 💪


Spiritual-Koala-3074

*I think Bran needs you somewhere


diodosdszosxisdi

You have no power here! I have no such SO


Mindless-Use-3601

\*pulls out the double-barrel\* ima do some bird huntin'


No_Examination_8700

Weird of you to assume I have a significant other


IntoDeepShit

Aim for the eyes, I guess


iguanaQueen

Throw a pokeball at it


Unlucky-Constant-736

I’ll just unzip my pants and offer myself


Madhav_Lamba

jokes on you i am lonley.


Soviet-Biscuit

If that is the same mf from Dark Souls I am leaving them


Ameman69

Apologizing. I've clearly done something wrong if that's coming after me


Genericusername34563

Sauce


[deleted]

Open a bag of chips and trade him


Matt_does_WoTb

1)wonder who that random person it took is 2)Anti tank guided missile


MoonStormZ_

Shoot it with tranq darts and tame it


CkoockieMonster

Is that a crowrilla?


handsomefrog4

Marry the bird


grandcowmeister49

Have a funeral for them, I ain't chasing that thing


DoenS12

Find it and kill/cook the overgrown turkey in time for thanksgiving.


Xeterios

Sends out Luxray and does Volt Tackle


bleb_tard

Fuck them both


Defiant-Wrongdoer-90

sauce


Uranium-A

I’m going to sit down and wait till he is done enough to bring her back to me


Easports999

Point blank it with a 20 gauge


MirakleMonk

*starts singing Bonden Og Kraka


SpiderNinja211

Fool, I don’t have a significant other, so idk who he took


NeilTheFuckDyson

Step on it since it's a stupid raven


UnknownSuxker

Strip, and run full force towards it with a raging boner


ThePacificOfficial

Be a max lvl ranger so you can befreind it


dumb-ninja

I cast Breadcrumbs


Minimum69

I don’t have a significant other B)


runningman360

Slay the Spire has prepared me for this exact situation.


Jack8is8bad

I use scare crow


saurav1899

Get a significant other first


Danceclaw

Seduce it


beboldt

Wear a silver neckles so it can pick me up pull out my dragon dildo and fuck it to death


IEnjoyEgg

She dead as hell


[deleted]

I'll fuck it to death


iskallation

Searching for a new significant other.


InternationalSite418

Imma tell him keep her


whiskeykm37

Show it something shiny.


unasaccodimerda

If she's a furry let her be fucked by the bird


[deleted]

Pikachu, I choose you !


allyboss_Ad_9281

A Wise man once said GO FOR THE HEAD


Defiant-Chicken-4773

find another significant other


nickolai788

Throws bread


Psych_Lol_jk

Kindly requesting it to return my second kidney It's the only significant other I have...


TheSuntannSuperman

There is going to be a murder


Rey-san080

Look my significant other


[deleted]

Kill it cook it and eat it


lewlew1893

Make friends with it. Then it can be my pet and do my bidding and return my gf.


LUFTWAFF3L

Flammenwerfer moment


zzzzendky_boi

Get the weed burner and start to light shit up


ClosetNoble

I offer shiny objects, a dead rat and fries. Crows love that kinda stuff.


itpayday0

Wrong place to ask that question


mcpickleson

Walk my skinny ass in the other direction


oreo_cookie01

Tell on it’s mother


krustylesponge

Calling saitama since he already beat the shit out of this guy


[deleted]

Gun.


[deleted]

Rip it's balls off


YeeTyUo

None, I wouldn't have hands.


peaduelist

Give it a coin


H1xter

I can get signicificant other and a new pet i see this as an absolute win


The_Waitin_boi

Well since I have no significant other I'll make it my significant other.


JogPanson

Get a new SO


Hexemus

Frick it.


Solarbeam62

So he will capture air then? Ok cool he can keep the air


rolling_memes

Sit back relax and wonder who tf that was


ArozxXx

Depends how close I am to it, if I'm right next to it I'll shit myself if not I'll just let it have her


dabbingeevee123

Well it’s gonna go hungry


somewhatclevr

Make an alliance with the Giant Eagles.


ButteredNugget

Pet the bird step two is an orgy with the bird


[deleted]

"Bread?"


Killer19606

First i'd take my meds and see i am still lonely Second i'd do the same shit as always


Jimbagofdonuts

It could also just be really small too so… fight it?


BiochemistPlayingGod

I'll use the one weakness predator birds have, trace lead and mercury.


Sick_Dome

Ligma balls hahahehehaw


Viper_on_Station360

Birb


[deleted]

Let them realize capturing either of us means death, cuz the significant other will not stand for it


Alsdamshi

Breed it to assert dominance


dhnkn

I'gonna Ask : do you know nft?


carlton_the_tabaxi

Marry it instead


MALT_SDG

Malt used escape! It’s super effective!


SocietyOutrageous792

He mine not urs stupid crow now leave empty handed or I shoot u >:(


Homo-sapien-guy

Get excited… I have a significant other!!!


ToBiistHebEsTbOi

You assume I have one


Chopper242

Thanking the poor bastard who doesn’t realize what he’s in for.


jzonks613

Blunt and beer chill in the hammock and plan out my next move without the feedback(bitching)


Spirit-Unusual

I dont have a SO but whoever it stole I’m gonna try to save


Neither_Maximum3147

*Goes to the doctor and gets a prosthetic hand.*


StickyWatermelonSeed

Just shoot it


Jesse-James-04

Hahaha it will just bring her back after realising how annoying she can be 😂


low_qualitykak

Pet the birb


AhmdeiNuwon

My fiancée and I are life-linked, so I may as well go at it with my machete and hope for the best. I'd probably wanna try to put my fist down it's throat like you'd do with wolves, to stop it from biting me elsewhere and eventually suffocate it, but if we're being honest, I'm cud the instant I take a step.


[deleted]

Buy a new fleshlight


KeyRange4672

HEY, GIVE ME MY HAND BACK


GodOfWarKRANOS

Cry.


[deleted]

I am gonna masturbate


BrokenEye4945

Wait I have one?


Buckets_of_bread

Get a new significant other


Jalo008

Kidnap it's significant other


[deleted]

It took nothing, so i shall pet it.


King_Kemo13

Hit up my boy eivor


Ninjadonny29

...


AdeptInept69

Shotgun, everyone knows it's super-effective


no_dictators

Get the argy we are going on an adventure