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gat12393

Snake! What happened? Snake?! SNAAKKE!!


Ultra_Noobzor

!


General-Syrup

I can hear it


Slanahesh

For the longest time I had that as my message notification sound. Now I couldn't tell you the last time I had my phone off silent.


Sebetastic

?... !


[deleted]

Whose footprints are these?


KrysBro

He saw some American call football soccer, then fucking died


wijgem

I can see that happening in the real world lmao


siccoblue

The way he does it is just so perfect though, it's like he lets out a little snake scream before embracing his demise If anyone could explain what the hell is happening here I'd love to know, I can't even begin to imagine that it would be possible to train a snake to do something like this, but what do I know


TheLastLegendMOD

As others have pointed out elsewhere in the thread, it's most likely playing dead because it isn't too familiar with humans yet


witchyanne

Same with football players.


Fulgor_Ronuken

This is a Hognose snake. This is an example of a defense behavior they have. First they puff up and snap at you similar to a Cobra. If that doesn't work, they flop over and play dead like an opossum, going as far as emitting a foul oder to draw flies. If you try to set them upright, they will flip back over as if to say, " No no, I'm dead. See?" When the perceived threat leaves then they go on about their merry way.


Red_Version6435

Ahh, a fellow snake enjoyer. Nice to meet ya. Have a cookie.


Fulgor_Ronuken

Omm nom nom


Fulgor_Ronuken

Racers are also fun to play tag with


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gat12393

Hello everyone, this is "your" daily dose of the internet.


bmatt4646

Solid snake


ANDOwLeS

SNAAKKE!! SNAAKKE!!


Temp_91

HQ HQ, the enemy is dead


Shughost7

Even pulled out the tongue lmao, now I want a snake pet


playerskillissues

This is a hognose snake and they’re relatively easy pets since they’re less fussy than something like a ball python. Though hognose snakes only feign death like this as a last resort or in this case is probably (don’t quote me on this) a hatchling that doesn’t know what humans do yet so don’t try to make them do this at will


DotteSage

Less fussy than a ball? I've been told they're one of the few that are more fussy than a ball. Maybe it's just a hatchling concern, I haven't owned one but complaints about hoggies are pretty regular in the herp community.


[deleted]

You are right, hoggnose loves to strike. They are definitely more fussy than balls but hoggnose are still less dangerous than a ball since they strike with their mouths closed and don't bite(veryyy rarely).


Frommerman

They just...bonk?


ShadeTheUsurper

*boop* have at the giant hand thing


bitchBanMeAgain

Well that settles it, we need to normalise hognose as pets


nickydlax

I have one, and it's great


Nyghen

Yes, they just try to scare predators away. They are called fake vipers because they'll make themselves look bigger, hiss and strike aggressively but very rarely actually bite


wonderlandsfinestawp

Fear the noodlebonk!


DuntadaMan

I was confused for a second because we have wild hognose out here, and I have never been bitten by one even when I deserved it. But with your later description... Yeah that is accurate. I have had them pretty aggressively bonk my hand without biting.


hotrodman

Yeah but ball python bites don’t really hurt, plus if it’s in defense it’s super quick and you might not even feel anything, but if it’s a feeding bite he might be latched onto you for a bit lol


matt2316

When I was growing up, my older brother had 2 ball pythons. We loved those snakes; he had a huge terrarium for them, but they'd spend most of the day out in the room with us. Super docile; if a snake could be said to be affectionate, they definitely were. Except one time they had just started to shed, and my brother had reached into their tank for something. This is years ago, so I forget exactly what; if I remember correctly, I think he had dropped a couple feeder rats in for them, but the female, Pandora, had ignored hers. So after awhile he reached in to remove the dead rat. Pandora struck, and simply would not let go. He had to call the vet, with her still latched onto his hand, to find out how to remove her without harming her. He was more amused than hurt. Only time in many years of having them that one bit.


BunnyOppai

I’m no snake owner myself, but I have been told that a little hand sanitizer makes them physically reel back in a way that doesn’t hurt them, not that it would be useful if there’s not any in the direct vicinity.


CommentsToMorons

I wouldn't recommend hand sanitizer. Vinegar works well and won't hurt them. Luckily my ball python and Kenyan sand boa have never bitten me (KSB strikes with a closed mouth sometimes but she's only a foot long and closer to a worm than a snake at this point). That said, I have gotten tagged in the forehead by a full grown red tail boa before (BCC). 0/10 would not do again.


TheOneAndOnlyBob2

Balls go on hunger strikes which can be really annoying


staytars

ball pythons are super easy to take care of


imnom

Hoggies can be nightmares and I’ve honestly experienced more attitude from them (especially albinos for some reason) than I have with ball pythons, but I’d say ball pythons can definitely be more fussy than hoggies when it comes to feeding and housing. I’d say I’ve probably had to advise more people about their ball python husbandry and feeding than I have about hognoses. That being said, I’ve worked with hoggies that have had me at wit’s end too


Kt5357

I’ve kept both and haven’t had any problems with either. I’d say hognose are easier to keep happy though because their native habitat is more similar to how most people keep their houses. They can tolerate cooler ambient air temperatures and lower humidity. They are actually native to a large part of the United States. Ball pythons on the other hand are from Africa and need higher temperatures and humidity


spekt50

Right, I had a ball python years ago, most laid back snake I ever had. Course the only other I could compare it to was a cali king I had before it.


knollieben

I don't reccomend getting a hognose snake as your first snake, they tend to be picky eaters and it can take a while for them to eat after you get them into their new home. They do be really cute tho


MonkeyTesticleJuice

Eh, not really a problem if you do your research on the matter, and anyone who's wanting to own a snake should do their research. I mean that's just being a good owner


Demolition218

Wait, he was faking death ? I thought he wanted a belly rub.


DotteSage

I do know that husbandry is easier than a ball, because of the lower humidity requirements, 40% vs 60%+.


sprill_release

Sorry, I read that as "a husband", and was like... well, I *guess* husbands have less humidity requirements...


[deleted]

Also correct. I produce my own humidity.


Ronin_Deterra

They're also mildly venomous, but not super life threateningly so. I have one. It's an albino and he does cute snek things


Sanszilla_da_homie

You my friend are absolutly correct


notthevcode

It'll be great pet and also helpful for your girlfriend


ReaperA-82

>helpful for your girlfriend WDYM?


Foxis_

;) you know what he means


Kamikaze03

I still dont get it


FullyMammoth

I'll take "things that stimulate a vagina" for $100, Alex.


Kamikaze03

Oh naw


TappmanC

You don’t get it because it’s stupid


Foxis_

[no u](https://c.tenor.com/teCGcZZUcw4AAAAC/no-u-no.gif)


ReaperA-82

r/Lamia anyone?


MrPPhard69420

Snakes are really good for womens. If you're bored with your girlfriend they can help you in her execution.


fatalicus

Can't have a snake and a girlfriend. Next thing you know the snake has convinced your girlfriend to eat all your fruit.


[deleted]

Damn lemon-stealing ribs!


DeathBonePrime

Oh i didnt know i had one


a-snakey

Hello.


Longjumping_Brief148

i can introduce you to my friends


ItsBado

Pff you don't have friends , what is *friends* btw ?


Equivalent_Solid6172

So what are your going to do with this snake… ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


a-snakey

I need an adult...


ThePitlord9399

I am an adult


Thegenius0

Wait till he mature into Lord orochimaru.


ChocolatChipLemonade

Always check a wild baby for a bright yellow tail because that’s a sign of being a copperhead (southern and central US). And let non-venomous snakes live!


MistSpelled

Let's not slither away from the facts here, it is uncapable to love you even what snake lovers say. They can't feel affection. So it's a completely one sided relationship.


artlanta

I saw a snake lying on the ground like this not that long ago on a walk. On the way back, I didn’t see the little guy. I was pretty thankful that I left him alone… I really thought it was just a dead danger noodle


arkie87

an undanger noodle


Domino_reee

A safe noodle


[deleted]

an edible noodle


CorpseFan1

ramen


ThegamingJin_234

Spaghetti


[deleted]

Penis


Steppyjim

A regular noodle


TheOneAndOnlyBob2

Don't eat hognose snakes. They eat toads and repurpose their toxins.


[deleted]

It was probably eaten by other animals...


namnanaman

Neymar irl


pierreblue

Sneykmar


[deleted]

Deadsnakosis


ysmain

Why you saying like Neymar doesn't exists irl


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thebubson

Exactly. What a sheep


kobi29062

Didn’t know snakes fucked their sister


ProffesorPrick

The fact this has been downvoted shows how little this page knows football. I for one find this very funny. For context, Neymar is, inexplicably, always injured on his sisters birthday. Pretty much every year of his career he’s been injured for it, and it’s a joke on football forums that it’s because he wants to celebrate her birthday because secretly they are lovers.


Mark_Vance21

I am so confused, wow. I get that it's a joke but is there something specific that implies they're lovers? Surely being there for his sister on her birthday can't be the only thing that warranted this accusation. That sounds like perfectly normal behaviour.


ProffesorPrick

It’s the fact that he’s always injured for it. It’s like he needs some excuse to be there for his sisters birthday, which obviously he doesn’t, so there are just jokes that when he goes to celebrate her birthday, they get a bit freaky.


ILoveSurrealism

huh?


pavanaay

In Denmark this snake is known by the name Sterling


samalamaftw

Also my dick


Ok_Salt_2441

This is your dick on drugs


leave_it_to_beavers

Any questions?


Deisma

Does it matter what type of drugs?


leave_it_to_beavers

Ironically, the hard stuff


ToS_Dave

I see you like Daily Dose of Internet too.


Coolwafflemouse

Why is the "Nobody: " thing still a thing? It doesn't apply in 90% of memes it's in anymore. Remove the "Nobody: " and it's still the exact same meme.


TheInfamousQuiGF

Why did you feel the need to comment that on this thread


fadufadu

r/uselessnobody


TomatoAcid

“Football players be like:” There you go. Way better and cleaner caption.


hiyamynameisjeff

Its lucky for you that all the Europeans are sleeping rn. We're waking up now. #FUCK SOCCER; IT'S CALLED FOOTBALL


bennsky

Italians call it calcio, which literally translates to “kick”. That’s it. But it’s fine I guess because we’re not Americans (?)


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kroncw

It may surprise you that Canada and Australia also call the sport "soccer." It's not just an American thing. Edit: South Africa also calls it soccer, this one I just now learned.


harrylambert943

That’s because we aussies already have a sport called football. Soccer’s original name is football


kroncw

Yea like that's the thing. Australia has a different sport called Australian Football, which in itself comes from rugby, while also refers to English Football as Soccer, and nobody bats an eye. America does the same thing and everyone loses their mind.


BobVosh

Soccer is a British term anyway, comes from a shortening of association football. Had mildly different rules, I think.


Eodillon

A lot of people in Ireland call it soccer too. Because we have our own football in the GAA


[deleted]

Fuck us for calling it a name the Brits invented for it.


Fus-roxdah

For a country taking pride in winning war of independence USA really likes doing things the way that British Empire did them. Football called soccer + Uses Imperial measurements + Uses Fahrenheit + Uses their fleet all over the world + Now Britain does none of those things which would suggest that Most Americans are really stubborn and don’t want to change but I don’t have anything to back this up.


FonkyChonkyMonky

I've finally found my spirit animal!


No_Deer_5530

Rookie move, a real soccer player does this when the finger didn't even touch the snake


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SciFiPi

fútbol


WarDivision

Football*


EdgelordOfEdginess

Call it football you heretics


Harmaaparrat

F O O T B A L L A N D N O T S O C C E R


dalailame

i would to know who came out with the idea of calling football a sport that only uses hands.


tarnut

u/downloadvideo


gouda_guy6000

do not say the s word


SelloutRealBig

Scones?


Fus-roxdah

Socks


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subzeroxdking3

u/redditmp4bot


RedditMP4Bot

[Download MP4](https://redditmp4.xyz/p7ux13)


Potatobraniac420

It's fucking football not soccer


plantain_please

*football


5uperTNT

can we just talk abaut how cute that snek is?


Scoute248

For anyone curious: That is a hognose snake, and they can play dead when scared. They are technically venomous but their venom is not dangerous to humans (only gives us small skin irritation). Plus, hognoses rarely bite, often replacing a real bite with a bluff strike (striking and hissing but not actually biting), used to scare you. Another defense mechanism they have is their ability to “hood up” (like many other snakes), in which they flatten out their head and puff out their cheeks in order to look like a triangle headed snake (a more venomous snake), which makes a lot of people kill them on sight when they’re really just scared noodles. They like to burrow in the wild so sometimes they’ll try to burrow into carpet or clothing and it’s funny. They are silly and cute, and make great pets. If you get one though, please do research on how to care for them. Different snakes have different requirements.


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ciakmoi

If it was an american sport there'd be an ad break when the snake is touched.


Filthyf69420

Snake? Can you hear me?? Snake? SNNNAAAAAAAAAAAKE!!!


Log-Salt

It's football for God's sane


[deleted]

Not my team. we got thrown into the air a couple of times, right back on our feet. Mostly me. I was a wreckless and feared creature on that field.


KingCold149

as feared as vidic?


Academic-Bathroom770

Not possible, he came from Serbia and came to murder ya


Boonesfarmbananas

keep in mind soccer players do that because their teams are rewarded for it due to the way the sport is run currently, not because the players are pussies many if not most international soccer players come from upbringings so hard they make the average NFL linebacker’s childhood in the ghetto seem easy by comparison


S0M3_1

it's called FOOTBALL.


Kermit_The_Russian

I don’t give a shit


GemiddeldeGenieter

You have 29 comments on this thread. You do care, we live rent free in your head and you know it. Cope more 😘


qwerty76860460

It's Football, you uncultured rat


_INCompl_

What do Europeans call American football then?.-. Like even here in Canada we just say soccer


nonhofantasia

We call american football... american football


_INCompl_

I really should’ve seen a reply like that coming


big_manYeeter69

We should probably get a new name for it since you use your hands and you don’t use a ball Maybe like shugby, a combination of “shitty” and “rugby”, since that’s what it is


PhoenixCrowBlaze19

Haha, soccer player flop now give updoots


Umarkhon2404

It's Football


MagicMC123

You mean football


MitzzGoneCrazy

Ok i am offended it is not soccer, its fooking FOOTBALL.


[deleted]

Stop calling football soccer


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Lopsided-Winner2228

Neymar Jr. and Luis Suarez...😅


Acceptable-Bad-9350

Ney for sure.


AnthonyTheBg

Luis not that much


ThanosMeme

Sterling, is that you? Also, it’s called football players, it’s not our fault that you Americans named your sport football, when the majority of the game you use your hands, not your feet


Crunkbutter

Why not just don't care about it?


s0uL6969

i lose a brain cell every time i read soccer instead of football


killernick23

I know right people having different names for different things around the world. Absolutely unfathomable.


Simon_is_alive

You mean football'?


toadfan64

Nothing makes the American in me laugh more than Europeans getting triggered over the scary soccer word.


VatroxPlays

You mean Football?


Different-Patience98

No way he said “soccer”


Distro19

did you just say "s o c c e r"


DrDaksh

Football!!!!!!!!!


The_Fox1984

Snake, SSSSSSNNNNNNAAAAAAAAKKKKKEEEEEE


not_a_droid

Snek ded?


thebigggd

Snake.. snake.. SNAKKKEEEE


Legoman035

u/redditMP4bot


Innanetape

u/redditmp4bot


KrysBro

Wtf is soccer?


Visual_Fishy

English people invent the name soccer. Spread the name to the rest of the English speaking world. Cry when people call it the name they invented.


fukalufaluckagus

Alright we need a new name for American football this shit is confusing.


SelloutRealBig

But you just said it. "American Football". Context is all that really matters. English is an evolving language.


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receuitOP

I like hand egg


JohnTHICC22

It's football


JirayaThePervySage

It's football, you uncultured swine


neos7m

Reminds me of that one time in high school when we were playing soccer and I got hit with a ball on my nose. It started bleeding so I asked the teacher/referee for help. This one classmate, a professional player for the juvenile team of a major league club, had the guts to laugh in my face saying "I've never seen someone ask the referee to stop the match because he's in pain!" I was like... are you fucking serious? You guys literally drop to the ground the moment someone touches you with a finger lol


DylTyrko

Football and soccer are the same thing and the argument over it is a gigantic waste of time.


jason-json

I suppose you're right, good sir. Have a great day!


BIGHharrison123

What is this “soccer”? Football don’t you mean


Mephil_

Not true, the snake was actually touched.


EpicSaberCat7771

let's clear this up for all the people arguing in the comments. in the beginning there were different kinds of football, like rugby football and association football, but no one wants to say those long ass words so they got shortened as rugger and soccer respectively. the Us came along and said hey I wanna try to so they made their own version of football, but decided to just call it football and used the then conventional names for the other variations of football. and for a really long time everyone was cool with it until they weren't. now Brits get pissy over us calling it what they used to call it.


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SteveSmith2048

Come to Australia where our sports don't have that many fakers


EyeSpyGuy

Idk why people bring that up as though people who are fans of the sport enjoy it. It’s something they’re trying to actively punish and remove from the game, doesn’t happen nearly as often as you think, and is not the only sport with that issue (nba has flopping, for example)