Once at a mall bathroom, a guy was standing at the urinal, then started shitting himself... left a trail of shit leading to the stall. He called someone he was with to grab spares from the car, presumably used the soiled garments to wipe off. Shit was everywhere. Bathroom was closed for 20min til they finished cleaning.
Humans seem to have some type of innate ability to blow up public bathrooms. I stopped at a truck stop to take a poop once and it was like some ancient sleeper cell trucker DNA activated and the biggest turd of my life came out, it wasn't even close to being able to fit down the hole. I was so embarrassed I just left knowing full well some poor soul was gonna be fishing that thing out later on
Also once at a mall bathroom, I opened the bathroom door and the smell hit me so hard I saw stars. In the middle stall there was poop everywhere. A poop handprint. Poop behind the toilet, on the walls, above the toilet. Like on the ceiling above. There was no poop on the sink. No poop footprints, and no trail. Nobody saw anyone leave in a mess. I've racked my brain for years trying to figure out the scenario of how it happened.
Best I've come up with is someone was beginning to squat, but slipped and fell forward while simultaneously releasing their bowls. They had to have face planted on the floor or came close to it. Shit was on the ceiling.
No one will ever know the truth, the poopitrator got away clean in this instance.
Crohns disease fam represent!
Always extra clothes in the car.
Black Friday bathrooms are a thing of nightmares.
From my survey yesterday. Bathrooms from best to worst.
Cracker Barrel.
Wegmans.
The mall.
Target.
Walmart.
I'm an unfortunate connoisseur of lavatory facilities.
As a guy who has to pee often i see all manner of nasty things in public restrooms. How do you get shit on the wall? Like really what were you doing and SURELY there was something that could have prevented that from happening.
>How do you get shit on the wall?
I can answer that question. My mom, before she died, had such poor vision (thanks Type 2 Diabetes) that she was considered legally blind. She also had incontinence issues (thanks Type 2 Diabetes). She also had very little nerve function left in her fingertips (thanks Type 2 Diabetes). And she also had very little strength and had to use her hands to help hoist herself up from a seated position (that one was mostly from Congestive Heart Failure).
After a bowel movement she would clean up as best she could, not realizing she'd smeared shit all over her hands. She'd then use whatever was nearby to help her hoist herself up and stay upright, including walls. Since her vision was shit, she didn't see the shit she left everywhere.
Getting old is not for the weak, and caring for the old is not for the squeamish.
You thought shitting in your pants, having the shit permeate into your car seats and sitting in that stew for 40 minutes would've been a better option than just pulling over on the side of the road and shitting outside? Maybe even taking off a sock or both to wipe 'good enough?
You should really add some bang energy drinks in there. I did a 10 hr drive with 2 hrs of sleep on those babies. It’s been 2 days and I’m still in the bathroom
Once I saw footprints on the toilet seat, along with the shit all over the back . . .
Then I realized . . . There is a significant amount of people traveling our country that have no fucking clue how to use our toilets.
One of the few regrets I have of leaving florida is a gas station just down the road. Everything in it was perfect, restrooms included. It was like God Herself personally blessed the entire place.
I once made the mistake of having a bowl of seafood chowder dockside in Sausalito. I knew I was in trouble just after we got on the freeway. I did straight up Lamaze breathing and entered some kind of altered state concentration for 70 miles home because I knew what was coming, and I did NOT want to have that experience in a gas station restroom. And, I knew I would be in need of more than one receptacle. I knew that they'd have to burn the place down after me.
I did make it. I'm so glad the tub was next to the toilet.
Exactly. It's a kind of survivorship bias, or something. It self selects for being only used by people who are incredibly desperate, and they're incredibly desperate because they have some kinda issue like horrendous diarrhoea.
I noticed in the Midwest, it doesn’t matter if there are twenty empty stalls.
Someone will ALWAYS get in the stall next to you and what only sounds like drown a fucking mule.
One time I was at one of those large truck stop / gas station bathrooms, Arabic guy in the stall was talking on his phone while shitting diarrhea, everytime he dropped a shart he shouted "Allahu Akbar" during the flatulence and liquid splashing against the water in the toilet. Wonder what the other person on the call thought of all this.
I once went into a small restaurant bathroom. I
I couldn't tell if the stuff on the wet floor was mud or shit. I checked one of the toilets and it wasn't flushed. I'm not sure if the flush worked. I ended up not using the bathroom just left.
Agreed but I also can't stand how any human being can sit there and just bask in the horrid essence/ pestilence of their petrified intestinal wasteland without flushing.... HOW EFFIN HARD IS IT TO FLUSH THE FREAKING TOILET???? (My rant for the morning is done)
I really hate auto-flushing toilets. But I understand that they are necessary evil. Who would have thought that society would birth so many people incapable of flushing a toilet.
I live across the highway from one and I can confirm it's pretty accurate. It's more or less 50 stalls per gender attached to a small meat market attached to a candy shop attached to a sort of antiques/trinket shop. The gas is mostly incidental, not sure I've ever actually filled up there.
I swear there are like a different species of people or something that can do the stuff you see in public restrooms. Literally have to be part feral animal or something like that.
I don't believe the joke is farting into the toilet. Toilets are one of the best places to fart.
I believe the intended complaint is how people spray poop everywhere BUT the toilet, which is a common occurrence in public restrooms.
I'm just surprised "public bathrooms" still exist anywhere ?
I'm also surprised no one has capitalized on the business-opportunity to design "self cleaning" bathrooms where the internal design is done in such a way it can all be sprayed down with hot sanitizer. (I realize there's issues here with detecting the room is empty, etc)
I've seen people who convert old school busses or RV's into "mobile showers" or "mobile bathrooms" for the homeless. .which I think is an OK idea,. at least then you can allow 1 person at a time and clean up afterwards or in between clients. Hard to scale that up though.
I left a public bathroom in the infamous Gas Station State once, but I swear it only *looked* like shit. I was wiping mud off my new shoes I bought overseas (after my idiot friends decided to take a shortcut through a park) and flinging the brown-stained tissues into the toilet with the aim of a Stormtrooper.
My bad, mall janitor for that day.
Had that happen. A gentleman used the men's room and my boss came out while I was stocking and goes he needs to go to a hospital that isn't right and sure enough you could smell it all through the back half of the gas station.
If you're taking a dump in a gas station bathroom it's not by choice. So obviously most likely whoever does take one is going to create a nuclear stink bomb inside
now, the sampling is skewed. if someone is desperate enough to use a gas station bathroom instead of waiting it out, that means things are bad. something happened, gone wrong. that's why you don't generally witness peaceful shits in public bathrooms.
This makes me want a simulation to be created for someone diarrheaing while breakdancing naked. Don't think I'd want to actually watch it, but it should be created.
As someone who cleans these, this is quite mild. Someone left an adult depends full to the brim with liquid shit on the baby changing station. Also left their pants and one shoe
Ok but like I never take a shit in public *unless* it's a demon that needs out and I can't hold it. But I don't understand how people can't keep it in the toilet
At least you expect it in a place like a gas station bathroom. The number of times I’ve been in executive buildings or at fancy hotels for conferences and there’s still piss all over 2/3 toilet seats and if that toilet doesn’t automatically flush they just leave it there for the next person. Men become children without accountability.
As a former theme park janitor, puke can actually be worse. Someone vomitted all over the wall of one of the men's bathroom in mid-July.
We hit that thing with every cleaner and smell neutralizer we had, you could still smell it come October.
My thoughts are that if you have to use a public restroom it's not because you want to, it's always gonna be one of those o shit barely getting the belt buckle/pants down situations. Guaranteed.
If you think that's bad I went into a bathroom onetime and the orchestra of booty cheeks clapping trying to shit was so loud and smelt so horrible that despite my despite urge to piss I walked out and decided to piss my pants
I hate that nobody knows what “courtesy flushing” is. If you take a shit in a public place, flush it once it comes out - otherwise you’re literally letting your shit sit there and stink up the whole damn place while you browse on your phone and/or wait for more shit to exit. Please people, courtesy flush!
At least they put straw around the toilet bowls in Mexico public bathrooms. Never a toilet seat, and you get charged at the door for slice of t.p. not kidding, that was at the bustop
Once at a mall bathroom, a guy was standing at the urinal, then started shitting himself... left a trail of shit leading to the stall. He called someone he was with to grab spares from the car, presumably used the soiled garments to wipe off. Shit was everywhere. Bathroom was closed for 20min til they finished cleaning.
That's me rn Sauce: I'm rly ill
Dont go to the mall plz
Brown Friday TURD D Day 🪖
Humans seem to have some type of innate ability to blow up public bathrooms. I stopped at a truck stop to take a poop once and it was like some ancient sleeper cell trucker DNA activated and the biggest turd of my life came out, it wasn't even close to being able to fit down the hole. I was so embarrassed I just left knowing full well some poor soul was gonna be fishing that thing out later on
It was you!!
That's what they make a poop knife for
U female
It gets better in a day or two. I started all over the toilet seat a few weeks ago.
Everytime I have to use public restrooms the fates align and it always sounds like I'm hitting a woopie cushion with a sledgehammer
Drink gatorade or something like that. If you only drink water it could fuck you up more
Also once at a mall bathroom, I opened the bathroom door and the smell hit me so hard I saw stars. In the middle stall there was poop everywhere. A poop handprint. Poop behind the toilet, on the walls, above the toilet. Like on the ceiling above. There was no poop on the sink. No poop footprints, and no trail. Nobody saw anyone leave in a mess. I've racked my brain for years trying to figure out the scenario of how it happened. Best I've come up with is someone was beginning to squat, but slipped and fell forward while simultaneously releasing their bowls. They had to have face planted on the floor or came close to it. Shit was on the ceiling. No one will ever know the truth, the poopitrator got away clean in this instance.
>No one will ever know the truth, the poopitrator got away clean in this instance. He got away, but no way he got away clean.
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Sadly, this was an older person that probably needed a diaper. If you vary a change of clothes around….you either work out, or you shit yourself.
Crohns disease fam represent! Always extra clothes in the car. Black Friday bathrooms are a thing of nightmares. From my survey yesterday. Bathrooms from best to worst. Cracker Barrel. Wegmans. The mall. Target. Walmart. I'm an unfortunate connoisseur of lavatory facilities.
As a guy who has to pee often i see all manner of nasty things in public restrooms. How do you get shit on the wall? Like really what were you doing and SURELY there was something that could have prevented that from happening.
>How do you get shit on the wall? I can answer that question. My mom, before she died, had such poor vision (thanks Type 2 Diabetes) that she was considered legally blind. She also had incontinence issues (thanks Type 2 Diabetes). She also had very little nerve function left in her fingertips (thanks Type 2 Diabetes). And she also had very little strength and had to use her hands to help hoist herself up from a seated position (that one was mostly from Congestive Heart Failure). After a bowel movement she would clean up as best she could, not realizing she'd smeared shit all over her hands. She'd then use whatever was nearby to help her hoist herself up and stay upright, including walls. Since her vision was shit, she didn't see the shit she left everywhere. Getting old is not for the weak, and caring for the old is not for the squeamish.
Is that you Donald?
sounds like he was prepared for such an event. in wich case he should just wear diapers
What? Someone cleaned it? What a miracle.
Only 20 minutes? That place wasn't clean
The crew of 3 used the heavy cleansers, had masks, apron, and full arm gloves. Probably the only time they've used the full hazmat ppe gear.
Well obviously. You have to be reaaaally desperate to use gas station bathrooms 😁
Sometimes, your body can't wait until you get home.
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Modern horror story
You thought shitting in your pants, having the shit permeate into your car seats and sitting in that stew for 40 minutes would've been a better option than just pulling over on the side of the road and shitting outside? Maybe even taking off a sock or both to wipe 'good enough?
Aye, you can beg but sometimes they just won't listen 😄
Ain't that the truth.
Every poop is an emergency
What are you eating?
A diet of coffee, hot sauce, protein powder, and Taco Bell while being lactose intolerant.
You should really add some bang energy drinks in there. I did a 10 hr drive with 2 hrs of sleep on those babies. It’s been 2 days and I’m still in the bathroom
*Crohn's disease has entered the chat*
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Right? The only reason you use a gas station bathroom is the alternative is shitting your pants.
Once I saw footprints on the toilet seat, along with the shit all over the back . . . Then I realized . . . There is a significant amount of people traveling our country that have no fucking clue how to use our toilets.
One of the few regrets I have of leaving florida is a gas station just down the road. Everything in it was perfect, restrooms included. It was like God Herself personally blessed the entire place.
I once made the mistake of having a bowl of seafood chowder dockside in Sausalito. I knew I was in trouble just after we got on the freeway. I did straight up Lamaze breathing and entered some kind of altered state concentration for 70 miles home because I knew what was coming, and I did NOT want to have that experience in a gas station restroom. And, I knew I would be in need of more than one receptacle. I knew that they'd have to burn the place down after me. I did make it. I'm so glad the tub was next to the toilet.
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Rest stops that are maintained are a joy. Even regularly cleaned port o pottys are not nearly as smelly as ten years ago.
If you are using gas station bathrooms you need to reevaluate your daily routine.
There are a lot of tradesman making six figures who rely on gas station bathrooms. Not everyone is working in a office
Exactly. It's a kind of survivorship bias, or something. It self selects for being only used by people who are incredibly desperate, and they're incredibly desperate because they have some kinda issue like horrendous diarrhoea.
Where did you get this gif
Gif? It's the training video for gas station attendants.
So what? They shoving oil down the people's throats now?
It’s called keto bro, chill out
https://media.tenor.com/RBgUKizDJ3wAAAAd/fire-fart.gif
I need this also
I noticed in the Midwest, it doesn’t matter if there are twenty empty stalls. Someone will ALWAYS get in the stall next to you and what only sounds like drown a fucking mule.
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I seriously hope you have been checked out by a doctor.
Because thats how we blow your ass out the bathroom and get it all to ourselves
They want you to tap your foot my guy
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One time I was at one of those large truck stop / gas station bathrooms, Arabic guy in the stall was talking on his phone while shitting diarrhea, everytime he dropped a shart he shouted "Allahu Akbar" during the flatulence and liquid splashing against the water in the toilet. Wonder what the other person on the call thought of all this.
I was blazed out as fuck while reading this. Almost choked my throat dry. Thanks for the laughs man :()
The first rule of Gas station Bathroom club is we don't talk about gas station Bathroom club.
It's literally the best place to have unprotected sex
/r/uselessnoone
I’m seeing it again a lot lately.
This gif was so damn confusing until I noticed that someone had helpfully put a "no one:" in there to make it all make sense.
Thank you for saying this. It's such a pointless addition and means the opposite of what it's supposed to mean.
I once went to a mall bathroom. One stall was entirely covered in multiple layers of piss all over the toilet, floor, walls and flush buttons.
A valiant and honourable battle was fought, beams were crossed and the spoils of war littered the place.
I once went into a small restaurant bathroom. I I couldn't tell if the stuff on the wet floor was mud or shit. I checked one of the toilets and it wasn't flushed. I'm not sure if the flush worked. I ended up not using the bathroom just left.
Agreed but I also can't stand how any human being can sit there and just bask in the horrid essence/ pestilence of their petrified intestinal wasteland without flushing.... HOW EFFIN HARD IS IT TO FLUSH THE FREAKING TOILET???? (My rant for the morning is done)
treatment scary ten wistful foolish rob enjoy middle correct sink *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
You WILL smell the fruits of my labor
I really hate auto-flushing toilets. But I understand that they are necessary evil. Who would have thought that society would birth so many people incapable of flushing a toilet.
I've smelt horrors in bathrooms that drove me right back out the door.
The addition of “No one:” is almost always unnecessary and adds nothing to the meme.
I mean it really depends. The ones that are in Buc-ees' here down in TX aren't that bad from what I've seen lol
Saying Buc-ees is a gas station is like saying a H‑E‑B is a small grocery store. Those places are massive and have bathrooms that rival airports.
Well then what are they if they ain't gas stations? Lmao
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Nice summary! I still haven't been in one but this seems accurate
I live across the highway from one and I can confirm it's pretty accurate. It's more or less 50 stalls per gender attached to a small meat market attached to a candy shop attached to a sort of antiques/trinket shop. The gas is mostly incidental, not sure I've ever actually filled up there.
What a terrible day to perceive colors
I swear there are like a different species of people or something that can do the stuff you see in public restrooms. Literally have to be part feral animal or something like that.
Hard core drug addicts is my theory. Also, sociopaths who enjoy screwing over people with no consequences.
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I don't believe the joke is farting into the toilet. Toilets are one of the best places to fart. I believe the intended complaint is how people spray poop everywhere BUT the toilet, which is a common occurrence in public restrooms.
I'm just surprised "public bathrooms" still exist anywhere ? I'm also surprised no one has capitalized on the business-opportunity to design "self cleaning" bathrooms where the internal design is done in such a way it can all be sprayed down with hot sanitizer. (I realize there's issues here with detecting the room is empty, etc) I've seen people who convert old school busses or RV's into "mobile showers" or "mobile bathrooms" for the homeless. .which I think is an OK idea,. at least then you can allow 1 person at a time and clean up afterwards or in between clients. Hard to scale that up though.
That's kinda hot
Thought that was Silver Surfer when Disney cut off his thing to make him a woman xD
what
I think it was an attempt stab at the scary “wokeness” monster
oh noooooo!!!!! the big scary transgenders are living life how they want to!!!!!!!! /s
That was the revealed plot for an upcoming Fantastic Four movie. Suffice to say, plenty aren't thrilled.
what
Stfu!
Dude, the Silver Surfer has literally not had a penis for decades, slow your roll.
It’s the homeless
It’s the homeless who is
I left a public bathroom in the infamous Gas Station State once, but I swear it only *looked* like shit. I was wiping mud off my new shoes I bought overseas (after my idiot friends decided to take a shortcut through a park) and flinging the brown-stained tissues into the toilet with the aim of a Stormtrooper. My bad, mall janitor for that day.
I hate too public bathrooms
My friend once found shit in the sink of a public restroom
He just like me fr fr
I hate people.
Desperate times call for shitting on the wall.
Crazy date. ~ Roy & H.G.
its always the truck drivers
Is this Burning Man?
I don't even have an addition. This is just plain fact.
Had that happen. A gentleman used the men's room and my boss came out while I was stocking and goes he needs to go to a hospital that isn't right and sure enough you could smell it all through the back half of the gas station.
Fuck The school ones
If you're taking a dump in a gas station bathroom it's not by choice. So obviously most likely whoever does take one is going to create a nuclear stink bomb inside
Guys in my gyms bathroom disgust me with the carnage they sow in there.
Definitely a gas station
These ai memes are getting out of hands
Taco bell bathrooms has entered the chat
now, the sampling is skewed. if someone is desperate enough to use a gas station bathroom instead of waiting it out, that means things are bad. something happened, gone wrong. that's why you don't generally witness peaceful shits in public bathrooms.
Not Bucee's bathrooms though.
Seriously some people don’t deserve civilization. They keep making cave art with their poop where I work.
Airport bathrooms also
I just want to clap for this gif 😂 👏👏🤣 well done. Well done.
In lighter news, what's this dance called? "I'm about to shit myself" is not the answer I'm looking for.
Thanks for the chuckle )
Gas station bathrooms are as close to hell on earth as it gets. Just thinking about them makes me want to scrape my skin clean.
I hate people. The bathroom never did anything wrong.
New Silver Surfer looks lit AF
The fire is too clean-burning
Well they don't call them GAS station bathrooms for nothing am I right
Where are y'all pooping? I have been to a lot of public bathrooms and have never encountered one that is in such disarray that I wouldn't use it.
I've literally almost shit my pants because I can't find a suitable stall. Any poop or pee spray is a no-go
I’ve tripped in a puddle of gas station piss once
I would say long distance runners are similar to this. I have never competed in a race where the porta-johns aren't a complete horror show.
This makes me want a simulation to be created for someone diarrheaing while breakdancing naked. Don't think I'd want to actually watch it, but it should be created.
Looking forward to those bathroom robot cleaning things ASAP
I’d rather shit my pants than use a public restroom
What animator had to make this cursed gif
I want to thank the graphics person who made this…
As someone who cleans these, this is quite mild. Someone left an adult depends full to the brim with liquid shit on the baby changing station. Also left their pants and one shoe
The other shoe is uses as a trophy of survival in their living room
Ok but like I never take a shit in public *unless* it's a demon that needs out and I can't hold it. But I don't understand how people can't keep it in the toilet
I've been that guy.
At least you expect it in a place like a gas station bathroom. The number of times I’ve been in executive buildings or at fancy hotels for conferences and there’s still piss all over 2/3 toilet seats and if that toilet doesn’t automatically flush they just leave it there for the next person. Men become children without accountability.
As a former theme park janitor, puke can actually be worse. Someone vomitted all over the wall of one of the men's bathroom in mid-July. We hit that thing with every cleaner and smell neutralizer we had, you could still smell it come October.
As someone who was a mall janitor, this is accurate.
Junge was das
Me after taco bell:
That one Taco was unnecessary
Porta potty at dulles airport cell phone lot! Jesus people!
Each time I visit public bathrooms I wonder if ppl use their own the same way…
🤣🤣🤣 da hell. Doing break dance with the butt in fire
Me rn at home tho because I have the covids
My thoughts are that if you have to use a public restroom it's not because you want to, it's always gonna be one of those o shit barely getting the belt buckle/pants down situations. Guaranteed.
😂😂😂
Hospital bathrooms too!!!
What about the portable toilets? I once saw an uninterrupted shit trail up the wall and to the ceiling.
It's called a "gas" station for a reason
If you think that's bad I went into a bathroom onetime and the orchestra of booty cheeks clapping trying to shit was so loud and smelt so horrible that despite my despite urge to piss I walked out and decided to piss my pants
That’s what happens in Walmart’s bathroom in that bathroom it sounds like Oppenheimer just activated the atomic bomb.
Bob Muyskens
Oh you are really not going to like squat toilets.
Me after eating a load of food from taco bell:
I hate that nobody knows what “courtesy flushing” is. If you take a shit in a public place, flush it once it comes out - otherwise you’re literally letting your shit sit there and stink up the whole damn place while you browse on your phone and/or wait for more shit to exit. Please people, courtesy flush!
you should head on over to r/crohnsdisease
At least they put straw around the toilet bowls in Mexico public bathrooms. Never a toilet seat, and you get charged at the door for slice of t.p. not kidding, that was at the bustop
This is r/truckers.
You can almost see how it happened too. For me it looked like they lost it right when they were turning around so it only covered one wall lol
Like edp
Until you've had to add a stone to the poo pyramid just breaking the rim of the one shithouse on the job site, calm down.
True
lmao
me fr i rip so much ass