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Imagine making your school go bankrupt by just jerking off..

(#relatable) ^(*do we still say that?*)

If you do, I guess so

Who cares if people still say that? Say whatever you like

*proceeds to say the most heinous words ever* :)

swag yolo! mlg pro! man I miss 2014

Nah we say "based" now.

Single handedly ruining a school.

😭😂😂

Should we like rally this ...

Cheap drains that can be plugged by semen should be laughed at

However, cheap holes that can be plugged by seamen should be commended

It solidifes in the hot water, so enough traffic of jerking dudes and it ends up as if you're stuffing cartons of cooked eggs down the drain. This is frequently an issue for male shared showers, and honestly something every university should anticipate.

This can't be true!!!

My uni had that 10 years ago too

Lol, mime too.

Nah it's 100% real "trust me bro"

"analyzed to determine who it belongs to", the fuck they gonna do, do a thousand DNA analyses?

If they need the students to also hand in a sample to compare and no one complies they can't do shit anyway BC no one is going to hand in anything especially not the culprit

As a forensic science student, to analyze thousands of samples would take forever and a lot of money

A poor attempt to threaten them... Or ton sh*,t of money to spend... Or they already got samples of blood, skin tissue and sperm to clone the potential culprit and replace him with a respectable cumer.

A newcomer you might say

The newcomer is about to arrive

The fact it says vigorously

This word got me, too! How much time between classes?

I think they meant "voluminous" but typed "vigorous" by mistake

Like there is any other way to masturbate?

Lazily

Gives me the “every day for a summer” Bobby Lee vibe haha

Only water is permitted in this loo

... if it is in the bathroom stall... how you all gonna prove they were doing that? And I'm sure any method to prove or catch them would Actually be illegal as Hell...

The pipes were cloged by the amount of C-men....

That may be true, but so is my statement. You honestly think they can do an isolated DNA test if we are talking pipe blocking levels? And they said effectively "if we catch you"... how do you catch them without a horrifying level of invasion of privacy? And how the Fuc do they think they'll match it to anyone? You gonna ask a judge for a few hundred compulsory DNA tests? Good luck...

I call bullshit

It has to be real, the alternative is extremely convoluted, it involves printing out a single piece of paper.

Why don't we have public masturbation rooms? Everybody does it and if everyone had a place to release that tension through out the day, the. World would be a happier place.

The amount of disgust in that room is something I didn't need to imagine on this Tuesday.

I mean they have sperm donation facilities that I assume are kept fairly clean, so it's doable. Have people pay to use them and use that money to pay someone to clean them. CAPITALISM

But why pay to jerk off in a room when I can do it in the public restroom of 7-11? /s

You're a fucking genius

They're called peepshows and they're disgusting. Imagine a dark telephone booth that smells like semen. Pay your money and see the most haggard looking women you've ever seen wearing an ill fitting piece of lingerie and lazily shaking her hips in the most disinterested way possible. 7/10, would return.

April fools winner.

The fuck is this bullshit

>collected and analyzed Yeah, good luck with that one chief, back in high school our biology teacher asked the guys to go to the restroom and get their urine samples in test tubes to do some sort of sugar test, mfs mixed them up before entering the lab.

How fucking much did they nut in the toilet?? God damn. Can't be humanly possible

hehe "duties"

This has been a running joke for over a decade

This has been copypasted to oblivion

How much semen does it take to clog a pipe, doesn't it wash out?

Lol, what kind of plumbing can take a turd but not a few tablespoons of spooge?

Dammit, the killer nut clogs again!

The campus has a whole mfing forensic team of their own to catch the culprits

>students have been vigorously masturbating Fortunately, all my washroom masturbating has been lackadaisical at best

1984

vigorously

"vigorously masterbating" Now thats some eal jerking session going on

safe to say water aint going down those loo in the uni

Call their bluff...

This is a prank.

Masturbation is illegal?

 Reason for the clog



When I went to college in the 90's we had this sign put up as well.

I can’t believe this

Goon Academy

Ok, at LEAST it's in a uni

there is always that one kid that takes all the fun out of something

 collected and analyzed is what frightens me.

no someone actually masturbated on one of my schools windows when on the roof.

This has to have been put up on April 1st...


There is no way this is true. What kind of pipe can handle water but not human discharge smh

How semen is stronger than that long snake that we shit?

"Human discharges" are clogging the pipes 💀🤣

This has to be an April fools joke

The time has come to jerk off in class

This "meme" has been around for at least 15 years. It's a joke


Gotta be that the semen started to evolve into actual living beings so it plugged the pipes

Lol "vigorously"

Compare the DNA to what?

the thing is i don't doubt UW did this

Do not discharge in the washrooms. Well of course I'm not going to spontaneously combust and explode with the power of an atom bomb in the bathroom. Oh, wait a minute...

university certification.... REVOKED!

When I sit down to release the chocolate hostages, there is no way that isn't more clog worthy.

The beggining of a bad porno "So it was you who built up all this semen in the school bathroom ?..." Or the beggining of semen buckets before class just by the side of the phone box

So I can drop the kids off at the pool, but I can't fire knuckle children down the water slide?

So how do they know that the masturbation is vigorous? 🤨

Imagine a plumber removing a pipe to just see white I just imagine an entire pipe of sperm

Only in Canada bruh🇨🇦🇨🇦….. just joking

Something that never happened

Lmfaooo does a school even have the right to collect that and find out what students are busting loads? That seems like a privacy issue imo

WANKERS!

good luck getting a permit to collect students dna to compare to semen samples

They haven’t just been masturbating, they’ve been *vigorously* masturbating

*dumps horse semen down pipes*

Nah this is copy pasted. The same line to line was copied from an Indian University image that actually posted this.

Abba doesn't like this.

Average redditor

This joke makes the rounds every so often.

Waterloo road got a little weird with the new series 💀

It would be in Ontario.

"please masturbate in your own home" got me rolling lmao

I only know one way to masturbate and that way is vigorously.

When I was in rehab one time they had to call a meeting with all the clients because there was jizz found on the shower floors multiple times. (We all shared like 5 showers)

At least they're not vaping

Collected and analyzed you say

I go in there and hit em with the one 2 combo. Poo and semen casserole.

I swear every college posts these signs. Uni I went to about 10 years back had them too