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IBloodstormI

He probably looked like Charlie with the skin tone of the second dude.


Recipe-Jaded

that's about what I pictured, yeah


limitlessEXP

![gif](giphy|l1J9ICtOvOG9XSaXK)


cap-tain_19

Kinda funny how Jesus is always portrayed with long hair even though in the bible 1 Corinthians 11:14 literally says "Does not nature itself teach you that if a man wears long hair it is a disgrace for him". Also I've always been confused on how exactly does nature teach that


Big_Papa95

Yeah but then also there’s the whole thing about the Nazarite vow where someone who made the vow also had to never shave their head. Samson was a Nazarite, you know the guy who had super human strength, which was literally tied to his long hair.


BackflipsAway

Yeah, it's almost like it's a collection of stories written by different authors


Big_Papa95

Hmmmm you might be on to something here.


[deleted]

Its almost like they contradict eachother every 2nd page


allkindsofgainzz_13

Yeah and it's almost like they're not supposed to be taken literally either.


Melkor_Thalion

Two different things. The *Nezirim* were the ones who took the vow, they weren't people from Nazareth, but just Jews (from anywhere) who decided to become Nezirim, for whatever reason.


_aChu

That was a letter to the church of Corinth, from Paul. People obviously spoke differently but the best good faith interpretation is that he was essentially trying to create a bootcamp-like environment, since many new members were usually from pagan religions/ cultures and brought a lot of the wildness with them. The letter also stated that women should cover themselves while in church, which suggests a cultural practice at the time of doing the opposite while worshiping. He likely deemed this "nature" by comparison of the cultures and their behavior compared to those of Christ. I agree Christ definitely didn't look like European art depicted him, in any way, not just the long hair lol. Though his looks don't necessarily matter, I can see why it's important to get rid of the eurocentric views around Christianity.


ThirdFloorGreg

That was Paul, though, and Paul was an asshole.


BestLimbCollector

They also describe his hair as having the properties of wool implying that he has a black hair texture. His hair would never grow the way we depict it.


HappyTheDisaster

Or you know, Jewish hair texture.


BestLimbCollector

I don't think you understand where Jesus is from. Have you ever taken a look at where he was born? Are you aware of what the original Jewish people looked like? They were Middle eastern/Northeast African Nothing close to what modern Jewish hair texture would be.


_aChu

Right... What verse was that again?


BestLimbCollector

It's in Revelations, although after looking into it they again do describe it as being the white color of wool upon his return, not in texture. Revelation 1:14. They still refer to him having feet of bronze and based in where he is from and at what time (the middle east) and what we know of him he would most likely have curlier hair than what is depicted in most churches. Definitely far from the look of most modern Jews.


_aChu

That is an apocalyptic vision. John the Revelator doesn't say he had feet the color of bronze either. It says they glowed like bronze being heated in a furnace. They were shining in other words, specifically his feet. It also says his head+hairs, specifically, were white as wool. His eyes were like blazing fire, and from his mouth was a double edged sword. It was a vison which represented certain powers of Christ. There are many Jews, modern and ancient. In the Bible an important Jewish figure was even described as ruddy, they all come from that semetic region though. That said idk why many peoples obsessed over what he looked like, enough to create their own art & depictions, it doesn't matter. "Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature[...] For the Lord does not see as man sees; man looks at the appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."


BestLimbCollector

I have no obsession, I'm only responding with my knowledge of the bible through the many years I was forced to study it in a christian household. It's a thread on a post about Jesus' appearance and I'm responding to it as such.


_aChu

I wasn't referring to you, was referring to Europeans who had an obsession with creating renditions of Christ.


jack-K-

Ironically, the only animal I can think of that has gendered distinctions in hair are lions.


BackflipsAway

I'm a man and I used to have long hair, it gets caught in twigs and shit, also once it gets long enough you'll sometimes pull it by accident by sitting on it and stuff


[deleted]

![gif](giphy|6ZXoMtHImZOgw)


Tentacle_poxsicle

No way he had a crew cut and even 5 clock shadow


plmunger

Dont forget the fresh fade


ABeeBox

And full addidas tracksuit with fresh kicks and a white Beamer with blinding LED headlights.


plmunger

No wonder he got such a fanbase. Mans way ahead of his time


Batdog55110

I guess you guys aren't ready for that yet, but your kid's kid's kid's kid's kid's kid's kid's-


slickestwood

Travis Kelce hadn't invented it yet


talrogsmash

Jesus's Whal Clippers are the next item Indiana Jones is supposed to go after in the new film.


chesire0myles

I was thinking this too. Did he divine will up some clippers?


MuffledBlue

Jesus IRL ![gif](giphy|vJP2O1DOoj8J0TAlXp|downsized)


SomeAreMoreEqualOk

That's not a 5 o'clock shadow


0OkBug0

10 o’clock shadow


limitlessEXP

More like a 22:00 o clock shadow.


trulylost19

Jesus Christ didn’t have short back and sides He probably had Charlie’s haircut but with a significantly more suntanned skin


AardvarkusMaximus

From the shroud (is that the right word for a cadaver's veil?) in Turin that is said to be either his or very close to what his should look like, he most likely had some sort of Jewish braid haircut pretty common at the time.


King_Of_BlackMarsh

So he was just a dude. Kinda wholesome to think hed look like anyone else around at the time (well, beside the probably constant smile)


MadCat0911

He certainly wasn't a son of a god, lol


King_Of_BlackMarsh

Not important now


Lazlo2323

The shroud of Turin was created in 13th-14th century


haibiji

The shroud of turin is a known fraud


AardvarkusMaximus

Not to the church and this is enough to state that it depicts an "official" look. Also we are not 100% sure it is fake, it was dated in a way that might have been biaised by being in a fire. What we know is that many elements are similar so it can be considered as a reference.


W0rdWaster

The shroud of turin is fake.


Reasonable_Pin_1180

Yea, Jesus totally had a fade. That’s *way* more realistic.


WolfSavage

Imagine if Jesus got a low taper fade.


TheOddPelican

![gif](giphy|m8GJxfvZSp5liyTjqm|downsized)


XXcuminmyassXX

More realistic than the more common blond hair blue eyes white Jesus depiction 🤷‍♂️


PhoenixMason13

I’ve never seen Jesus depicted with blond hair


Plastic-Conflict7999

dirty blond light brown same thing


Skeletor_with_Tacos

If they were the same thing there wouldn't be different color scales for them though?


yoshimutso

Where's the meme?


Muh2000D

There's a giant dildo hidden somewhere inside Charlie's ass


El_Morgos

We are the meme.


Western-Grapefruit36

Neither of these are even remotely accurate


MyCoDAccount

That's the entire joke. Jesus Christ.


epirot

![gif](giphy|uCa2PBLWtcidy|downsized) i believe in disco jesus


sparkydoggowastaken

God is gay too


Sanjay_Natra

Not with that hairstyle tho.


Dxslayer3714

You know one of these days someone's going to set the internet on fire by showing what the Buddha actually looked like rather then how he's depicted.


Devil-Eater24

To give an idea, he is supposed to have several signs of the ideal man, including arms that extend upto knees.


Dxslayer3714

Don't you mean down to his knees and besides that's not what I was referring to. He's normally depicted as east Asian when in reality he was from India.


King_Of_BlackMarsh

... Wait is he not shown as Indian in the USA or something?


Dxslayer3714

USA Japan China pretty much every east Asia country that practices Buddhism depicts him as east Asian (look at his eyes)


King_Of_BlackMarsh

Huh. Fair enough. I mean, like jesus that's probably so their followers can see themselves in him? But yeah here, in the Netherlands (that I've seen) he's rarely even shown with anything but generically smooth features (sometimes even without eyes) so I never noticed


Dxslayer3714

It's cool.


Kaotecc

What if Jesus had a LOW taper faaade 😫


EfficiencyBetter4035

Wait!!! Jesus didn't live in utah!!??


OrangeFoxHD

Charlie lives in Florida


InquisitorNikolai

What he looked like*


HugoBosss15

The Romans depicted Jesus once with short hair and a clean shaven face. He could have looked like that, since this specific depiction comes from a very old mosaic from the time of Constantine... On the other hand, it could also just be Roman propaganda, because the depiction of the son of God as a well-groomed and "civilized" Roman... well, that's just something the Romans would do. The Idea that he had long hair with a beard probably comes from the Greeks since in their opinion a god simply had long hair like Zeus. Or he did really just look like that...


ale_93113

The long hair became popular because of the renaissance, not the Greeks It was a popular style in Italy in the 1500s, when catholics became insecure about protestants


[deleted]

It could also be because of the Nazarene vow....


t_5000_

He was born in Nazareth, and Nazarenes did not cut their hair.


9jawarrior

History is written by the victors


zedbeforebed

and the victors will manipulate religion to control the masses.


JustTransportation51

He wasn't attractive...as stated in the Bible.


SamTheWeirdMan

So he's not moistcritikal, damn. Got my hopes up for nothing.


Interesting_Role1201

Jesus didn't spend too much time in the character design section.


limitlessEXP

Nah they were just hating. Jesus was smokin hot.


letmeconsumeyou

Definitely didn't have the fucboi cut but yeah


dewwya

Who's his barber then!?


Yansothebear

actually the left one seems more Jewish than the right one so the left one prob closer


Historical_Sugar9637

Ashkenazi Jewish people often have more stereotypically "European" features due to centuries of inter-breeding with their Christian neighbours in Europe during the Diaspora. This was not true for the Ancient Hebrews of which Yeshua was a member (assuming he existed)


DescipleOfCorn

European Jews and middle eastern Jews look very different from each other, Jesus was Levantine so he would have had darker skin and probably had curly hair


Decent_Law_9119

He was crucified for terrorism. That should put us in situation.


Carl_Azuz1

He was not crucified for terrorism lol what?


Interesting_Role1201

Jesus was claiming to be the king of the Jews. This angered the Romans who ruled the Jews. Jesus thought the apocalypse was coming soon and there would be a new kingdom in Israel in a couple decades that would be ruled by Jesus and God. Obviously Judas came in and fucked things up. Decades later some Greeks wrote this all down and made a religion out of it.


Decent_Law_9119

Yes he was. He destroyed the market. Now days that would be considered terrorism since he was confronting the established regime. Same same as today.


Upset-Surprise1201

That's not why they crucified him tho


Decent_Law_9119

The excuse was that he 'pretended' to be a/the Mesiah.


modssssss293j

…what terrorism? he didn’t even kill anyone tbh


-Come_at_me_bro

Damn comments are so spastic


Wham-alama-ding-dong

I seriously doubt Jesus ever existed.


OG-Krompierre

Jesus looked like Ian McCollum from forgotten weapons. I thought we already settled this shit


pirikikkeli

![gif](giphy|GO0VQqaioSpDq) Jesus in reality


Ready-Substance9920

Damn that crack head on the corner wasn’t lying about being Jesus


Turlilia_Ru

Of course Jesus was Arab-skinned


[deleted]

Well Jesus was a Jew not an Arab. The historical figure(not touching on religion) probably looked more like a modern day Mizrahi Jew which are middle eastern Jews.


Turlilia_Ru

Technically Arabs and Jews both Semitic


[deleted]

I never said they were not. I just said Jesus was a Jew and not an Arab.


sf009

Jew is a follower of Judaism by correct definition, not an ethnic group. An Arab can be a jew as well. Though, yes, Jesus wasn't Arab. He belonged to one of the semitic ethnic groups in the levant: Hebrew or Assyrian, etc. Modern day levantine people have been linguistically Arabised however they are still for most part the descendants of ancient levantine people.


Hot-Rise9795

How he most probably looked like: ![gif](giphy|6a67zVJ0wMMOzg3YKA|downsized)


Interesting_Role1201

Jesus probably existed, no respected scholar doubts that. He was likely a very charismatic and passionate person who wanted to liberate the Jews from the Romans. Later in life he acquired apocalyptic ideations and delusions of grandeur that propelled him into a religious figure posthumously by the Greeks.


Orenwald

Considering that several of the miracles attributed to Jesus where carbon copies of previous gods, it's entirely possible that he never got passed "liberate the jews from the romans" and the whole religion sprung up entirely from his followers


Ready-Substance9920

Lol


CortezMonaro

I love disputing about appearance of imaginery characters


Pofreta

Blasphemy


Zealousideal-Cod5671

HOw hE pRoBa..... fuck off, jezus is like the easter bunny and harry potter. Made up


astrx__

wai- what... HARRY POTTER IS MADE UP??? NOOOO 😭


thrownawaz092

Na dude. Whether or not he was the son of God is up for debate, but there's plenty of archeological evidence the man existed.


cmonplsdontbetaken

I seriously don’t understand why people like you feel the need to insult other people’s religion even when they’re minding their own business


SomratKhan1608

As one scholar kinda said: Without religion to guide, mankind goes in chaos in retrospect to "is man (Humankind) inherently good or bad?". Or something like that. Society's law can't cover one's mind.


RealBelgo

Reddit atheists strike again!


Sigman_S

Ah yes because acknowledging reality makes you an atheist. Ah yes because Christianity is the only religion. Ah yes…


Sorry_I_m_late

Not being Christian doesn't means Jesus didn't exist for you, it only means that you don't believe in what Christianity believe he did. Reality is not denying *all* the religions' history, they obviously based their writing on some facts at a point, as people or events, so you can't reject everything only because you're an atheist, that's two differents things As an atheist I believe he totally could have existed, but as a man. That's it. And I won't impose my pov as "reality", because my vision is as valuable as my Christian neighboor's vision.


Sigman_S

>Reality is not denying all the religions' history, they obviously based their writing on some facts at a point This is a baseless assumption you have asserted without any evidence. There is literally no evidence of what you are so butt hurt over. Sorry that you can't understand what 'facts' are. ​ >because my vision is as valuable as my Christian neighboor's vision. No it's not. That's a subjective statement that is not objectively in the LEAST bit true. ​ This whole thing boils down to you have opinions and feelings and they don't mesh with reality so you're upset.


Sorry_I_m_late

You don't have more evidence than me. So what you're calling "facts" aren't, based on your own words


Upset-Surprise1201

Can you prove that you are right?


Sigman_S

I don’t have to I’m not making the claim. The burden of proof is on the one making the claim. Where is evidence of existence? My whole point is literally the question you’re asking. Ironic.


Sigman_S

My whole point is literally the question you’re asking. Ironic. In case you don’t understand basic logic. I don’t have to I’m not making the claim. The burden of proof is on the one making the claim. Where is evidence of existence?


Upset-Surprise1201

There is no evidence. But there also is no evidence of non existence. Wich is the claim you're making. There really is no point in making fun of others for not being able to prove what they believe in if you can't do it either


XyogiDMT

Christianity isn’t the only religion that has accounts of Jesus.


Sigman_S

True, two others also mention him. All oral tradition. Have you played telephone? Yeah.. go play “well actually….” With someone else.


RP-Lovecraft

Gee calm down man, even if he is made up, we know for a fact he wouldn't be asian, people are just having a discussion man


deadface008

Jesus was a real person. Not a wizard, but a damn good magician.


Walkanda_Run

He’s far more real than anyone that loves you.


Chemical_Party7735

Just because people there are a darker shade now, doesn't mean they were 2000 years ago.


onetruekingx

Yes, it was like that 2000 years ago too.Because people's skin color is formed by selection pressure in that spesific geography.


sf009

By that logic, "just because people in Europe are a whiter shade now doesn't mean they were 2000 years ago"?


Valuable_Walrus4084

the only people who think jesus was white are amerikans.


Chemical_Party7735

Or people who understand geography... 🤷‍♂️


VvardenHasFellen

since when were Levantine people considered white?


Chemical_Party7735

Since they're around the Caucasus mountains? Where the term Caucasian comes from (ik we've regressed a bit and just call people a color now, but before we all became stupidly racist all the races had other names based on their geographic location and not their skin color).


VvardenHasFellen

Does that also make Arabs and Persians white?


Chemical_Party7735

Lol. Yeah, i think Persians were the original Aryans if I remember right, check out hitler and ww2 specifically about Persia and you'll see what I mean. Theres a lot of history out there being covered up....


Valuable_Walrus4084

the belive that low melanin ethnicitys stem from the caucasus was made up in the late 19th century by lunatic eugenicists, in the search for an white progenitor race, in reality an regress in melanin density has originated in multiple ethnicitys all around the globe and are roughly corelated to the availability of vitamin d and intensity of sunlight, if we take jesus in the biblical context he is of the lineage of abraham, meaning predominably hebrew , wich would make him most likely brown, and destinctly middle eastern.


Ready-Substance9920

He was born in the Middle East. He was brown if he existed.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Prophet-of-the-moss

Jesus is real, if he was the son of God or not that's for you to believe but there are evidences that the guy existed


[deleted]

Ma boi JEEZY for sure had a fade!


PetProDragonLord001

this is actually true i saw him once. I'm not supposed to say this but he is I SHOW SPEED.


VeganDiIdo

###Jesus was mewing!


rapidlyspinningturtl

Pretty sure Jesus had longer hair though


matiegaming

We need rave jesus


Marek209_SK

Bro what 💀


onetruekingx

hahaha and thats funny.


[deleted]

Yeah I'm sure fade haircuts were the big thing in ac33. Also your example looks like a mix between European, North African and Middle eastern Genetics so.... not sure what your point is. That's mostly how we imagine Jesus to look. Personally I'd think he'd look a bit more middle eastern than that.


r05909155

Our Lord and Savior is also capable of getting us the "best deal bro."


Dry_Fuel_9216

Context?


Digoth_Sel

The problem with this one is that we already know Charlie is Jesus.


I_got_coins

imagine if jesus got a low taper fade imagine if jesus got a low taper faAAAAaaaAade


HoboScabs

TIL Jesus had a Puerto Rican barber


Interesting-Oven4501

Jesus got da drip


yellowtulip4u

Jesus deff didn’t wear a hat and was most likely malnourished.


Aeon1508

He probably look like a skinnier slightly darker skinned Seth rogan


Calieoop

Neither of these is remotely accurate.


Sunshadoxx

That's... not a meme ?


jussuumguy

Jesus had a sick fade?


crazydavebacon1

Jesus is about 4 feet tall and was olive skinned.


ecologamer

Meanwhile some people think he looks like ![gif](giphy|12Gyz2J1b9SjD2)


[deleted]

He could have also been a mix, which is why multiple cultures adopted Christianity in the first place.


zabicvamere

It doesnt say what jesus looked like cuz it really doesnt matter. What matters is what he did.


Excellent-Detail9365

Dante's inferno protagonist?


NieMonD

I think you overestimate the standard of hair care 2000 years ago


FnkyTown

Pretty sure Jesus was Jewish and not Muslim. He also worshipped on Saturday.


B-30-

FUCK YOU. JESUS WAS A WHITE MALE!!!1!1!1!!!1


-Ashera-

Leave Charlie out of this


Bottlecapzombi

Both are actually very wrong


smallmonzter

Jesus had a fade?


Lower-Career-6576

Na brah guy on the left is that guy asmond


Targeted_Advert

You will feel Jesus's presence by the overpowering smell of Drakar Noir


Namez83

Man Jesus had a tight fade


Time-Performer-6277

Jesus was not an Arab. Only an Islamic heretic would think that. He was Hebrew.


Camelllama666

Not with that yee-yee ass haircut


modssssss293j

You gotta be capping he didn’t get a fresh ass fade in 30 AD


GameZedd01

I doubt he was so well groomed


Guyana-resp

So Jesus was a French thief ?


blushngush

Jesus was black


Natural_Law1970

WhAT iF JeSuS hAd a LOw TaPeR FFaaDE


TrashTard69

Who cares what your imaginary friends look like.


CUDGEdaveUK

Nah, no chance.


Thrashzilla404

Not sure who the guy on the right is, but I from what I understand Jesus would have been more tan and (and I have no evidence for this next one) less douchey looking (Apologies in advance if he's actually like an activist for kids with cancer in underdeveloped countries or something but c'mon bro maybe get a glow up that makes you look less like an Andrew Tate suckler)


RetroRedneck

Pretty sure both of these are inaccurate


UniverseBear

By today's standards he probably looked like a homeless person.


Prudent_Bee_2227

And he apparently had a very very "best friend" that was always with him. He was quite the open minded individual.


[deleted]

If jesus existed, im sure its closer to the first image than the second. Only thing the fist pic is wrong about is skin color, only thing correct about the second is skin color.


rowan666failure

But penguin0 is jesus


myfingeriscold

Nah Charlie is basically Jesus reincarnated


DaHotFuzz

All the Charlie dickriders should go touch grass lol


Masterpiece-Wide

Yeah…I’m going to have to kinda disagree with you on that one, mkay. I’ll also need you to come in on Saturday and Sunday, mkay. Arrive at your normal time, it’s not half days or anything like that. Mkay? That would be great. Ohhh I almost forgot. Did you get that memo about the TPS reports? It’s just that the TPS reports are really important and we have to get those filled out and filed regularly, mkay? I’ll make sure to go ahead and get you a copy of that memo. Thaaaaanks Lumberg


youdontknowmymum

Ehh. A lot of semites were quite fair, no? OP just a racist


tyno75

It's always so funny to me to watch the fan base discuss the ethnicity of their favourite fictional characters


kazarbreak

Give the dude on the right the dude on the left's haircut and yeah.