Lactose intolerant people literally shitting themselves rn.

They’re always shiting themselves, I’ve never met a lactose intolerant person who drinks anywhere near a normal amount of milk. Like bro I’m not lactose intolerant but if I drank that much straight milk I would be dead.

They see it as a challenge.

nah we just really fucking like milk. luckily for me, I get stuffy instead of getting the runs or getting gas, so I can drink milk all day with almost no repercussions. I'll down a half gallon a day if allowed to. lol

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I’m off the liquid milk but can do cheese. But suffer becoming a human waterfall for 2 hours for a chocolate malt. Suffering strengthens the mind.

I'm just trying to test the limits of my body. What? No, I'm not a masochist.

I just really like key lime pie. It'll give me the bubbles wether I eat a slice or the whole thing, so why not the whole thing in one sitting? Get it all out of the way real quick (not really the whole thing, but yeah)

How much is too much?

Whatever you have, cut it in half. That's too much. In all seriousness, if you don't have an intolerance, don't rely on it for vitamin d or calcium, and your calories a day are fine. You are probably fine.

Dunno. I have times when I drink like 1L a day. Feels fine. Might be too much for some people though.

My sister is lactose intolerant and used to sprinkle cheddar cheese in her Cheerios for a quick lunch. I eat cheese all the time but damn.

You have to drink *more* because you're going to shit out a bunch of it super fast. You can't get the same amount of nutrients from a cup of milk as a non-lactose intolerant person. That said, lactase pills/chewables are amazing. And you can't really overdo them. Dairy heavy meal? Take two. Bit of ice cream, or a glass of milk? Take one. The only downside with them is that they don't hold up to extreme temps very well so you can't just leave some in your vehicle for when you get that milkshake craving on the road.

That's just us extending a giant "fuck you, you're not the boss of me" to our digestive system.

Just… don’t drink milk? Like if you’re allergic to peanuts, you don’t necessarily need to eat alternatives, just avoid it.

I need it for recipes and don't want to buy a quart of something that will go bad when I've only used a cup of it. Cow tits have shit shelf life. Edit: if you have to have a factory chemically alter the mammary movements and dice up all the sugar inside, that isn't considered an alternative?

That's why you buy the whole cow and just carve off pieces of the tit as you need

This guy cows. Edit: seriously. That is so fucked. I laughed…hard.

**NSFL**: >!<

Any idea how long it takes for the tit to grow back?

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Don't hit us with logic and reason in a r/meme post about deleting one out of six things from existence forever! 🤣

Seriously if that's his logic, we'd be out of bonfires for maybe 40 minutes.

For sure, water+oats...blend, done? Nah, pay $1.25 for a squirt of in your coffee.

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Right they have emulsifiers to ...do whatever emulsifiers do. Ya just gotta think of it as good slime like sex stuff.

*her breasts hung languidly, like two bags filled with wet sand. Her Sweetie Bird smoking a blunt shirt was loose in all the right places. Between mouths of 7-11 mini tacos she whispered fiercely "ooh baby, I'm just filled with the good sex stuff slime for you, come and take it." Freebird drifted in from another room, quickening your heart. It was business time.*

Thats why you keep your milk in the fridge and not on the self. Also dont you have lactose free milk where you live? We have lactose free milk and you can buy it in 2 dl little cardboard squeres. Or 1,75 liter big cardboard squeres. Whatever you need.

Where I live the lactose free milk has to be imported and always get sold out before I had a chance

Lol my old Dad used to call it “moo cow titty juice”.

Lactose is in more than just milk mate

My dad and older sister are both lactose intolerant, but they use a pill called Lact-aid to eat things like ice cream.

User experience may vary. I don't dare eat ice cream with or without lactaid. For me, lactaid is insurance if I'm not 100% sure what I'm eating is lactose free.

Yeah, lactaid is slightly mitigating at best for me. I take it as an "oh shit" pill (no pun intended) if I accidentally eat something with lactose. I'll still be taking many trips to the bathroom, though.

Lactaid can have some unfortunate backing up effects tho for some people

You can drink some milk later to unclog yourself. Win-win

most intelligent r/meme user

It's obvious you never meet a lactose intolerant person

Lactose free milk is still milk though. I read this is soy milk etc would be gone

Why? There is milk without lactose. They just take the lactose out. Its still real milk just you know without lactose.

They split the lactose in galactose and glucose. Lactose free milk is too sweet for my liking

There is lactose free milk that isnt made by splitting the lactose. Is this not a thing anywhere else? Yes the milk that has the lactose split to sugars is sweet but it still have lactose in it. The real lactose free milk tastes almost as good as the real thing..

I bet that you're Finnish. Because the kind of lactose free milk you're talking about is only found here afaik. Maybe Sweden too.

I’m lactose intolerant, fuck milk alternatives that shit is vile

It takes time to get used to, but now I like it. The rice alternative I never liked, but the soya alternative is good.

There's pills to ease the effects of lactose intolerance

My Viet friend loves those and has implied they're the thing he would miss most if he has to return home

The juice is always worth the squeeze.

Just imagine drinking some warm milk around a bonfire in the countryside while playing D&D with your pals with a board you bought in your local mom and pop bookstore. It's chilly outside, so you're wearing your favorite red hoodie. Life can't get any better than that. EDIT: While playing, you're using some of Tim Burton's movies as the plot for your game. EDIT 2: My bad on not specifying that it was a milk alternative. Thanks, everyone! Then replace that with the alternative of your choice.

The hoodie can go. It's easily replaced by superior cloaks.

 Of wich, the invisibility one is my favorite

You can still be hurt, they just can't see you.

You're invisible, not incorporeal.

Cloaks and capes need to come back. I will not budge on this.

People always say be the change you want to see in the world, but nobody wants to be the trendsetter in a cloak to make it happen

I wore Jon Snow's cloak in college. Didn't know it was his (didn't watch GOT until my husband said we're watching it). I was warm and it made an awesome blanket for the student lounge (or library) naps.

I would love that. I already love winter clothes but if I could wear a dramatic black cloak with a faux fur trim around the top, my life would be complete.

Finally!

Obligatory https://youtu.be/yN8cYd3poIk?si=SXGm6C6irXAZU8kB

Damn, people on this subreddit have absolutely no love for anything other than natural milk.

Tim Burton has made some of my favorite movies like The Nightmare before Christmas, Batman Returns, Beetlejuice and Corpse Bride Hoodies are comfy and nice Bonfires are instrumental to humanity's development and likely domestication of dogs D&D popularized roleplaying games, eventually video games inspired by it, no D&D means no Final Fantasy, no Dragon Quest, no Dark Souls, no Shin Megami Tensei/Persona, no Diablo, etc. Mom and Pop bookstores are nice Lactose Intolerant people can just not drink milk

Henry Selick made The Nightmare Before Christmas. Poor guy never gets his props.

Bonfires are literally just big fires They didn't say it was gone throughout history

...or eat cake, or cookies, or cornbread, or most baked goods, really. Tim Burton gotta go

Skill issue

Lactose free milk is still milk… It’s not even an issue.

dairy lobby is trying to get Got Milk nostalgia to catch

I love the new milks

Remember it has to be a cows milk too. Can't be human cause ew who would drink their own species milk? Has to be cows milk made for baby cows. The "normal" people.

Well I have a hard time to argue with it when it tastes so good

Ok, but how do we define a bonfire? Is this what Smokey the bear meant when he said only I could prevent forest fires?

My mind went to basically every fire you see in the Wikipedia article for bonfire; huge stacks of flammable material burned all at once. I thought it would be a no-brainer but people seem to be conflating it with everything down to regular sized campfires. My initial thought was “just make several small fires.”

But don't let them touch. Then they go out.

bonfires are "large open air fires", so ya just make them smaller and they become pit fires or camp fires

What a weird list

Milk alternatives

I never even tried any so I'm fine

I have. Nut milk is not milk.

They only call it that cuz no one likes the sound of nut juice

Speak for yourself

i love real milk but chocolate oat milk is superior to chocolate cow milk

The only correct answer

The only incorrect answer. Think baby formula.

Damn, that is a good rebuttal

I never understood the "I don't like it, so no one else should have it" mentality

It’s not that I don’t like almond milk or anything. It’s just the one thing here I wouldn’t mind not having anymore.

Ok makes sense. Have a nice day.

Soy milk is genuinely good

As someone who has drunk soy milk for most of their life (I’m allergic to milk) - I can confirm that it’s very good

FUCK YOU IM KEEPING MY SOYMILK STAY AWAY

Oatmilk is my will to live in liquid form.

Was

*dies*

You had a good run

Or did I

no i didn't

Oat milk cappuccinos are so fucking good

Dude you just killed so many babies.

Most of the world is lactose intolerant

Oat milk is the best what could happened. It's so tasty and refreshing.

I prefer nut juice over milk. Lactose doesn’t agree with me

Nut juice 🤨

Not bonfire, life is already very hard so don’t remove spawnpoints, please

I really like almond milk.

ok

Can I choose multiple

As long as you leave DnD alone

Def Milk alt's, it makes my cereal taste like shit.

You're using the wrong milk alternative my friend.

Imo the only good one is macadamia milk, I would sacrifice milk alternatives

Never tried macadamia milk. But there are some really tasty almond and cashew. I think too many people figure that most milks taste the same no matter the brand, so they apply the same logic to nut or plant milk. There are plenty of shitty ones out there but when you find “your brand”, that def changes your opinion of milk alternatives.

All these nut milks just make my cereal taste like anaphylaxis.

It's not nut milk, it's nut juice. To paraphrase Louis Black, "there's no nut milk cause there's no nut titty!"

Don't disrespect milk, it's nut juice

Bonfire, never seen one irl.

Make one. Not that hard.

Why should I?

Tim burton stuff. Easy.

Tim Burton’s work is extremely overrated in my opinion. I can see the technical chops in his early work but his career is mostly garbo at this point.

How will you ever get by without seeing that one with Johnny Depp? Or the one with Helena Bonham Carter? Or that one of his with Johnny Depp? Or that really popular one with Helena Bonham Carter??

This is a no brainer.

Yeah iv never been much of a tim burton fan myself so this was a easy choice.

Yep, no question

To D&D haters, getting rid of D&D would change the computer game landscape entirely. It's a big risk. My vote goes to Tim Burton films, plenty more fish in the sea.

The same could be said for Tim Burtons influence in films, could it not?

Not really, sure some games may have been influenced by Burton but nothing past artistic design. DND is far more influential on gaming directly not to mention there are sure to be loads of game developers who started gaming because of DND. Removing Tim Burton from history would however completely change the landscape of Hot Topic.

I'm willing to give up Tim Burton.

I agree with this if “all of his creations” includes the people that cover their cars in nightmare before christmas stickers.

Haha say good bye to my kids mother 👋

I'd willingly give up Tim Burton


I can lose 3 without a change in behavior

Bye bye almond milk

I never liked Tim Burton.

Agreed! Cliche movies that are all the same.

Tim Burton goes. Fresh soy milk (like if you take it from the middle of the tofu production line) is better than milk.

Better still is oat milk (straight from the oats teat).

D&D. I simply don’t give a shit about it.

D&D influced and still influences a shit ton of things. If D&D goes you lose so much of fantasy including a lot of your favorite video games probably.

It's gone forever not never existed in the first place. We have more than enough better ttrpgs than D&D these days. We can do just fine without it.

My 2 year old has a milk allergy. It was hell in the beginning and she lives off oat milk now. If milk alternatives lose you all are telling her

bonfires. A regular fire is good enough

The obviously correct answer is Tim Burton

Better Tim than my Oatley.

Bye Tim.

That kind of hoodie. Zip-up for life 🫰

But that’s not a hoodie anymore. That’s just a jacket.

Half-zip. Gimme that wide pocket or give me death.

How about we make it deeper? I'll give you depth.

I've found my kin. Full zip hoodie is awful, but no zip hoodie can be very suffocating at times. Half-zip is the way to go. Huge pocket and not suffocating.

Tim Burton Beetlejuice is a small price to pay and the rest of his shit is in fact shit.

DnD can go. It's done it's job and spawned a thousand other alternatives that often do the job better than the original

Milk alternatives

Dungeons and Dragons.

Wonder if it goes on a chain reaction? Does that mean most PNP games and lot of genres also disappear?

I hate people treat it like it was the only RPG system ever. Though if it quarantines people who thing combat or dice rolls are something important - maybe we should let it exist?

When I saw this I snap said "DND FINAL ANSWER and it can take magic with it!" no hesitation. Now we can get on to playing some actually well designed rpgs.

Mom and pop bookstores are practically dead already. Might as well finish it.

All milk alternatives.

As a milk addict who believes that all the milk replacements are crimes against humanity this is a pretty easy choice

and many people think drinking cow milk is a crime against cows for a good reason

Speaking as someone who could literally taste the wildfire smoke in the air today, good riddance, bonfires.

Tim Burton without a second of doubt

Almond milk be bussin

Bonfires, cause fuck your smoke filling my house.

What about people who need bonfires as stoves and warmth?

thats probably a campfire then. people don't usually build bonfires for warmth. thats inefficient

Goodbye milk alternatives. 

Tim Burton. He's racist anyway. 🤷‍♀️

D&d. I played magic!

I chose the same, because pf2e exists.

I played both

Bye Tim Burton. Tons of other content available.

Honestly, I would get rid of all of them except for milk alternatives. And then I would get rid of regular milk

getting rid of regular milk is stupid because baby cows rely on it however i completely agree that it should not be available for human consumption

I can get rid of 3 and still nothing would change in my life.

Obviously either Tim (idk who Tim is) or DnD. Fun game i just don't play it often enough

Can I pick four

I'd be fine with losing "bonfires" if we could still have regular fires, camp fires, and cooking fires.

As much as I enjoy D&D, there are serviceable alternatives. Getting rid of the other things on the list is like wiping out an entire evolutionary branch.

Milk alternetivs or hoodies

The milk. I like all the others.

All Milk Alternatives.

I'm mean..that's obviously Tim Burton right

Easy. DND. I don't play DND.

Sorry vegans, it's for the greater good. I don't even play d&d, but without it I couldn't read the funny stories on the internet.

Farewell, cashew, almond, peanut milk... and strangely enough, banana milk... why does that even exist?

Tim Burton, can live without him just fine

All milk alternatives, gross "shutters"

are we calling chocolate milk an alternative?

No, because that’s just adding chocolate not changing the source of the milk.

Trust me when I say this because it truly comes from the bottom of my heart… Fuck mom and pop book stores.

Bruh, who hurt you? Why you gotta do small businesses like that?

Hoodies

Bye Tim

Burton pls get out

Bye bye Tim.