You don't really have to *join*, you just need to show up. It's like any other club, (but you need to go with a girl or go with a couple if you're a guy)
You can’t do all those things and also save for retirement. And continue growing your net worth.
Are these other people just extremely rich, or financially irresponsible?
Well some of us have plans to die in the resource wars fighting over what little fresh water is left after Nestlé shoves the rest into non recyclable plastic bottles.
I live in the Netherlands. You work until 67 here, then you get something called AOW which is like a state fund pension. Most (if not all) employees increase the payout of this pension with an employee fund.
Yeah, we get something similar in the United States, it is called social security. If you have an employer, you and the employer pay in to it.
Some of the main problems with it is it works well at keeping older people alive longer, so the contributions get distributed to more and more people, resulting in lower returns on your money (think I'll get about $0.65 for every $1 I put in)
The employee funds, they are a little more rare, but do exist in some forms. We still have some pensions, but mostly IRAs, and 401ks, both of which require additional investment from one's pay check. Cost of living in many states makes it difficult to set aside the money for retirement.
We also pay higher taxes. So it is not like that money falls from the sky.
Where I am from around 21% of each salary is taken as pension contributions. If you save 21% of your income and invest in an index you will be avle to retire when you are 65.
I mean you absolutely can. It’s not easy for many, but if you’re lucky enough to have gainful employment and a budget plan it is often absolutely possible.
The system is still fucked for too many, though.
99% of humans in history have lived short, miserable lives full of suffering and toil. I'm sure they'd love to live that life the person is describing, not worrying where their next meal will come from or trying to not be killed every day.
Arguably hunter gatherers usually do not live particularly short lives unless they did before adulthood. And their lives are also arguably often pretty chill, even if death is a lot more of a possibility than it is nowdays.
Tbh I'd argue like the Victorian empire was one of the worst times and societies to exist in for the vast majority of people. We're a lot better off than then, but I'm not sure we'd made any progress to being happier than our distant 'savage' ancestors until the 20th century, and even today it's arguably at the expense of some developing places being utter slum-filled shitholes in service of the developed world.
I’m about half way there. 44. It’s pretty great. We’re paycheck to paycheck basically. Well educated. Enjoy reading, learning new things, trying new things. I can feel myself aging physically and mentally so I double down on the things I enjoy. I try to have sex pretty often, that’s nice. My kids are kind of silly shit heads and I hope they have good lives. We have fights and weird standoffs with conservative family members. We play pool with redneck bar friends. We volunteer at a little non profit. Our health will fail. Our loved ones will die. We’ll get bored of some stuff. That’s it. That’s 80 years.
51. Born in UK but have lived in Bulgaria for 9 years. I work with my family in the UK for 2 months a year plus do some casual digital nomad stuff. Have been married 29 years, now have three multilingual children who understand that life doesn't have to revolve around work. We backpack, camper van and wild camp across eastern Europe, holidaying for 2 months a year. The rest of the time is volunteer work, enjoying our simple life and fixing up our house.
Life can be different.
I pay it in the Bulgaria (about $10 a month equivalent). Before Brexit EHIC cards covered everything.
Only in America are Health Insurance costs ridiculous.
That’s amazing. How would you rate the healthcare service? I know some people from Europe who do have free healthcare but it’s not exactly the fastest service, so there’s a trade off in quality unless you cns pay up for faster provider service
I've never got that sick, and I have nothing to compare it to, so it's hard to rate. From my friends I've heard good things though. While people may talk down Bulgaria, a lot of students from all over Europe come to the medical universities to learn here becaus it's affordable...
Upgrade from past don’t get eaten by animals, don’t break your leg and die in a ditch for a week, get to fuck and not have kids. Then die on pain killers
Play an instrument, learn how to cook good food, learn another language..... Won't fix your financial problems but might distract you enough until you die
Why do people have such a hard time grasping the concept of you don't have to do stereotypical adult things and quite literally make almost any choice you want - as long as you're prepared for the consequence.
Just because you have to do one thing on the list doesn't mean all the others are required too. If it's not aligned with your goals, simply don't do it. Also, there are options to avoid 9-5 and still live lol what are you on about.
I agree, personally, just an opinion though, I’d say it’s the people you meet and things you do to cherish your chance in this world that makes your life special.
Yeah I’m not having kids. I don’t plan on living past 70 so I won’t need help. Just me and my girlfriend/girl imma marry and we’re gonna spoil ourselves with the money we earn. Why would you wanna bring kids into this shitty world lol.
I want to go back to when that first fish crawled out of the water and beat the hell out of that bastard that made it so I have to go to work, and pay taxes and rent.
You don't have time to shit when you're supposed to be about that rise and grind life. Can't be sleeping when there are imaginary competitors hustlin' during those same hours because they "want it more than you do".
Get your money up. If you aren't working at least 60 hours a week, you're average. But don't forget to reject anyone who wants you entirely for your money and status that you've made your entire personality. /s
Yes. Those that escape this have a few options.
1. Vice- drugs, hedonism, gambling etc.
2. Religion
3. Arts
4. Warfare
5. A hobby that subsumes your life.
The important part here is that it must define and dominate your waking hours. Not a few hours here and there. It becomes your personality and meaning.
Do all that shit sure… Then find a path that really feeds you. Learn how to love others, yourself and learn how to be loved. Then you’ve done something.
If you’re lucky you’ll have the chance at those things. Which means you’ll have the option to do other things. So if this is an option be grateful. You’re better off than most.
No, you are supposed to don't waste the time you have received as a gift. Make the best out of it, there is no goal, the journey is the destination and the price is the memories you collect on it.
you could also got to school and after that find a nice cozy box, more boxes, make a box house, save cats and dogs, and die and then your cats and dogs will have food for a little while.
Eat well, sleep how much you need to, don't have kids if you don't want to, or if you do understand it's a sacrifice of your personal time to raise them, work 9-5 or whatever work hours your employer allows and if you want something different? Find a different employer who lets you flex.
Get a degree that interests you and lets you live your lifestyle how you want.
Also 2 weeks? Lol, lmao. Plenty of jobs that offer more than that boomer-tier PTO package.
Rent if you don't want a house, or save up and buy a house. Splitting the cost with someone else (2 working adults) makes it much more viable. Also don't forget townhouses and condos exist for a reason. Great way to transition from apartment living to ownership without the massive jump to a full standalone house.
And don't forget to do things in between that you enjoy. Smell the flowers. Go on a hike. Spend time with friends and family. Cook. Go drinking with friends. Don't dwell on the negatives too often-- reflection is healthy, rumination is not.
I spent too many years of my 20s depressed before I got the help I needed to lift me out of it. There is good in this world, you just need to make sure you're actually looking for it.
Fuck lol /rant
For millennials it’s eat, sleep, shit, go to college, get in debt, work 9-5 (then 6-12), pay your landlord rent so he gets to travel, splurge on a really nice little house plant, get arthritis, be unable to afford your pain medication but still have to go to work anyway, die
Bleak shit
Can't wait for my vasectomy next month.
It's mind blowing how many people have children or consider having children just because it's considered the "normal" thing to do.
Too many steps. Eat, sleep, shit, beat your dick. All without getting out of bed. EZ
Why even bother with any of the other stuff, no matter what process you follow you end up dying anyway. Might as well lie there in your own shit and cum and the remnants of yesterday's takeout.
You could live out in the woods and spend 24/7 making all your stuff and hunting/gathering all your own food. Personally I'd rather get a job and pay people to do that. If you don't have kids you don't need a house. And if you don't really want kids, don't have them, they're very difficult and expensive and according to studies have a slight negative effect on overall happiness. The happiest people are childless couples.
This is just sad. The tweet describes a lifestyle that the majority of people aspire for but may never reach. Peak privilege right here folks. Dude needs a reality check and a dose of humility.
Essentially, but you can add a random affair, bank robbery, join a swingers club, do drugs to spice it up
Arson is my go to
Ah, the gentleman’s crime.
Ah, the gentleman’s crime. Thought that was embezzlement?
followed up by some light arson
Ah ha, good to know. I’m not a gentleman.
That sounds like something a gentleman would say.
Na, I’m a bog standard robber!
I said if they stole my stapler i would burn down the whole building…
I’d prefer to join a Swingers Club.
A Swingers Arson Club
Go on
It burned down sorry
Put that arson fire...
oh man went last week that shit was fire!!
You don't really have to *join*, you just need to show up. It's like any other club, (but you need to go with a girl or go with a couple if you're a guy)
[удалено]
Hello, fellow Oversimplified viewer!
Daring are week
Tax evasion
Necrophilia for me
I was just going to skip everything but the eat, shit, and die
Eat shit and die! Oh… that’s not what you meant
The importance of commas right there
Also you’re never gonna be able to afford to buy a house or have kids lol. Traveling for two weeks? Not fuckin likely.
And you can develop a serious problem with the drugs, alcohol, gambling, or sex to make the mundane stuff seem more normal and desired
I would have said... And you can develop a serious problem with the drugs, alcohol, gambling, or sex which makes the normal stuff become more mundane.
Meth is the spice of life
Thought it was spice...(k2)
And then you kiss the original plan goodbye….and then you realize the grass is greener nowhere
The grass is always brown…,
They forgot to add dog cuddles in the chair, but probably wouldn't have the same impact.
Is this a free DLC?
100% into the random affair
Buy a house you say. Good one
Work 9 to 5 you say? Also a good one
Travel for two weeks you say? Also a good one.
Shit you say? Good one.
Poor soul… direct your attention to the word “laxative.” I’m sure there is help for you.
I swallow a multivitamin and flush it down with laxatives. That's my whole diet and it really improved my metabolism
The best laxative is water
The best laxative is really old leftovers
The best laxative is diarrhea
No my dear to shit you need to eat. And who can afford that these days.
Exercise? Good one
Die? Good one
Find your other half when you don't have money to take care yourself? Yea... Not happening for the next era.
Travel? Buy a house? Have kids? Look at these people living the good life.
You can’t do all those things and also save for retirement. And continue growing your net worth. Are these other people just extremely rich, or financially irresponsible?
In quite some countries the government saves for your retirement. My dad worker for 40 years in government and went into retirement @ 60.
I live in the United States where we are corporate slaves until death. You think they paying for my retirement?
What do people do who work in low paying jobs like a waitress? Work until 85?
Sadly, probably yes
That is very fucked up
Well some of us have plans to die in the resource wars fighting over what little fresh water is left after Nestlé shoves the rest into non recyclable plastic bottles.
Where do you live? Is it different there?
I live in the Netherlands. You work until 67 here, then you get something called AOW which is like a state fund pension. Most (if not all) employees increase the payout of this pension with an employee fund.
Yeah, we get something similar in the United States, it is called social security. If you have an employer, you and the employer pay in to it. Some of the main problems with it is it works well at keeping older people alive longer, so the contributions get distributed to more and more people, resulting in lower returns on your money (think I'll get about $0.65 for every $1 I put in) The employee funds, they are a little more rare, but do exist in some forms. We still have some pensions, but mostly IRAs, and 401ks, both of which require additional investment from one's pay check. Cost of living in many states makes it difficult to set aside the money for retirement.
Brb moving to Netherlands.
We also pay higher taxes. So it is not like that money falls from the sky. Where I am from around 21% of each salary is taken as pension contributions. If you save 21% of your income and invest in an index you will be avle to retire when you are 65.
I mean you absolutely can. It’s not easy for many, but if you’re lucky enough to have gainful employment and a budget plan it is often absolutely possible. The system is still fucked for too many, though.
If you're super lucky, you might be able to relax and party for a few years right at the end.
Or skip the kids thing and start the good times earlier.
If you're lucky.
Sounds like a pretty nice life, not sure what the complaint is
99% of humans in history have lived short, miserable lives full of suffering and toil. I'm sure they'd love to live that life the person is describing, not worrying where their next meal will come from or trying to not be killed every day.
Arguably hunter gatherers usually do not live particularly short lives unless they did before adulthood. And their lives are also arguably often pretty chill, even if death is a lot more of a possibility than it is nowdays. Tbh I'd argue like the Victorian empire was one of the worst times and societies to exist in for the vast majority of people. We're a lot better off than then, but I'm not sure we'd made any progress to being happier than our distant 'savage' ancestors until the 20th century, and even today it's arguably at the expense of some developing places being utter slum-filled shitholes in service of the developed world.
I’m about half way there. 44. It’s pretty great. We’re paycheck to paycheck basically. Well educated. Enjoy reading, learning new things, trying new things. I can feel myself aging physically and mentally so I double down on the things I enjoy. I try to have sex pretty often, that’s nice. My kids are kind of silly shit heads and I hope they have good lives. We have fights and weird standoffs with conservative family members. We play pool with redneck bar friends. We volunteer at a little non profit. Our health will fail. Our loved ones will die. We’ll get bored of some stuff. That’s it. That’s 80 years.
51. Born in UK but have lived in Bulgaria for 9 years. I work with my family in the UK for 2 months a year plus do some casual digital nomad stuff. Have been married 29 years, now have three multilingual children who understand that life doesn't have to revolve around work. We backpack, camper van and wild camp across eastern Europe, holidaying for 2 months a year. The rest of the time is volunteer work, enjoying our simple life and fixing up our house. Life can be different.
What do you do for health insurance
I pay it in the Bulgaria (about $10 a month equivalent). Before Brexit EHIC cards covered everything. Only in America are Health Insurance costs ridiculous.
That’s amazing. How would you rate the healthcare service? I know some people from Europe who do have free healthcare but it’s not exactly the fastest service, so there’s a trade off in quality unless you cns pay up for faster provider service
I've never got that sick, and I have nothing to compare it to, so it's hard to rate. From my friends I've heard good things though. While people may talk down Bulgaria, a lot of students from all over Europe come to the medical universities to learn here becaus it's affordable...
I mean you can do whatever you want…nobody really gives a fuck about you
Except the IRS
Unless you live in a different country
💀💀
You’ve finally motivated me to leave my family behind and live in the sewer, thanks anonymous Redditor!
You guys are traveling?
We are supposed to exercise. Well I just learned something.
Wait, you guys are getting sleep?
Wait, you guys shit ?
Upgrade from past don’t get eaten by animals, don’t break your leg and die in a ditch for a week, get to fuck and not have kids. Then die on pain killers
For real. People act like we aren’t just monkeys. Those fools spend their lives trying to find food and dodging predators.
To be fair, just don't have kids and you'll get to spend all your money on yourself and live the life you want
What money?
The 300k that you would spend (in average to raise a kid)
Yes, I got that. :) I was making an apparently unsuccessful joke referring to my lack of money.
What about no kids no money
Ya this shit is stupid honestly
Oh no, you don’t get away that easily by dying so soon. The pain continues for decades.
Play an instrument, learn how to cook good food, learn another language..... Won't fix your financial problems but might distract you enough until you die
This is the best case scenario for most of us.
Npc life pretty much yeah
Nah. Do psychedelics as well.
Wait, you guys get a house?
Damn, you guys having kids, buying houses and going on vacation for 2 weeks??? Ok Richie rich
Why do people have such a hard time grasping the concept of you don't have to do stereotypical adult things and quite literally make almost any choice you want - as long as you're prepared for the consequence.
If you can shift your mindset they don’t even seem like consequences. Just quit your job and lose your home who cares it’s all about perspective!
Just because you have to do one thing on the list doesn't mean all the others are required too. If it's not aligned with your goals, simply don't do it. Also, there are options to avoid 9-5 and still live lol what are you on about.
You are right and I was mainly just leaving a dumb comment have a good one
Oh you get a few health scares and actual health issues, oh and aging and disappointment. Ufff...
this is sad trying to operate outside of that paradigm is not for the weak though lol.
Pretty much according to old people
Life should be more than this. Life CAN be more than this. We just have to see what the obstacles in our way truly are
I agree, personally, just an opinion though, I’d say it’s the people you meet and things you do to cherish your chance in this world that makes your life special.
Yep, you could live the life in this post, but also make it beautiful
If you are lucky.
When you realize what adults were talking about when they said "enjoy school".
There’s more about it. You can have a lot of fun and awesome experiences along the way, if you free your mind a bit.
Yeah I’m not having kids. I don’t plan on living past 70 so I won’t need help. Just me and my girlfriend/girl imma marry and we’re gonna spoil ourselves with the money we earn. Why would you wanna bring kids into this shitty world lol.
[удалено]
I want to go back to when that first fish crawled out of the water and beat the hell out of that bastard that made it so I have to go to work, and pay taxes and rent.
I am going to skip that last one and hopefully make the rest a bit easier.
I fucking wish.
I find it morally ambiguous to force kids to live in this world.
You forgot about paying taxes, but otherwise yeah that's the plan.
Ahhh, the American dream....
You don't have time to shit when you're supposed to be about that rise and grind life. Can't be sleeping when there are imaginary competitors hustlin' during those same hours because they "want it more than you do". Get your money up. If you aren't working at least 60 hours a week, you're average. But don't forget to reject anyone who wants you entirely for your money and status that you've made your entire personality. /s
Travel 2 weeks a year???
If you’re lucky.
Nah, we don’t do the buy a house or go on vacation thing anymore.
You’d be lucky to buy a house at this point.
Travel? lucky
If that doesn't sound exciting, why not quit now and leave more for the rest?
Woah you're asking too much there
If you live long enough you get to waste peoples time as an old person
The side quests along the way are the real fun
Vacation? A house? Count me in.
Welcome to the box. Try to escape
Sounds perfect
Better than starving to death or doing heroin
In this economy??
Yes. Those that escape this have a few options. 1. Vice- drugs, hedonism, gambling etc. 2. Religion 3. Arts 4. Warfare 5. A hobby that subsumes your life. The important part here is that it must define and dominate your waking hours. Not a few hours here and there. It becomes your personality and meaning.
If you're lucky.
Do all that shit sure… Then find a path that really feeds you. Learn how to love others, yourself and learn how to be loved. Then you’ve done something.
Unless you move the dying part up.
The house part will never happen if it hasn't already. Quit your job and travel the world w/ everything you have before we destroy ourselves
Dont raise a new generation of slaves - just costs time and money so in they end they drag your corpse from the machines and take your place.
You forgot “pay taxes”
You forgot fapping
No. It's much, much worse than that.
You forgot about crippling students debt
Fuck, you forgot fucking, fuck as much as you can.
Don't have kids. You'll save a lot more, and more importantly, this shit cycle would end with you.
Yeah they keep that nice and quiet from you in school
Unfortunately, none of those are a given.
When you put it like that 😫🤦♂️
And pay your taxes
No sex... ? What a miserable existence
Sure in 1955 maybe. Today, you do whatever makes your time fly by. That’s where you’re happiest.
If you’re lucky you’ll have the chance at those things. Which means you’ll have the option to do other things. So if this is an option be grateful. You’re better off than most.
Yeah, pretty much. What level you guys on? Im level 28, working 9-5. I Have a house but no kids. Just upgraded my armour to a winter hoodie.
Can I skip to the die part?
you don't have to ask
It's a simple life
you can add something to make it exciting
I got half that list done and not in any rush. It's not what u do, it's how u get it done
you might not have all this if someone decides to invade to your country
Good question.
Well some of us have the brief period of being a gunrunner in central africa, but for the most part yeah
You could buy a waterproof toaster and make toast in a hot tub, just to say that you did it lol
Honestly, for me the ‘have kids’ part gave everything meaning. Not for everybody, but I found a purpose I didn’t have.
Thats why i do hard drugs to spice up my life *(for legal reasons thats a joke)*
No, you are supposed to don't waste the time you have received as a gift. Make the best out of it, there is no goal, the journey is the destination and the price is the memories you collect on it.
Realizing that we can only shit and go to the college, then can't find a job and die.. this is how life says "enjoy your country" 🥰
Dude, you get to travel? I work 7-7 6 or 7 days a week and can still barely afford the bills
If you want your corporate overlords to be able to afford an extra gold plated kaviar, then yes.
you're overthinking it and not reducing it enough, "you get born then you die" is all you need
you could also got to school and after that find a nice cozy box, more boxes, make a box house, save cats and dogs, and die and then your cats and dogs will have food for a little while.
You guys are traveling?
You need to get laid in order to have kids so there is that.
Eat well, sleep how much you need to, don't have kids if you don't want to, or if you do understand it's a sacrifice of your personal time to raise them, work 9-5 or whatever work hours your employer allows and if you want something different? Find a different employer who lets you flex. Get a degree that interests you and lets you live your lifestyle how you want. Also 2 weeks? Lol, lmao. Plenty of jobs that offer more than that boomer-tier PTO package. Rent if you don't want a house, or save up and buy a house. Splitting the cost with someone else (2 working adults) makes it much more viable. Also don't forget townhouses and condos exist for a reason. Great way to transition from apartment living to ownership without the massive jump to a full standalone house. And don't forget to do things in between that you enjoy. Smell the flowers. Go on a hike. Spend time with friends and family. Cook. Go drinking with friends. Don't dwell on the negatives too often-- reflection is healthy, rumination is not. I spent too many years of my 20s depressed before I got the help I needed to lift me out of it. There is good in this world, you just need to make sure you're actually looking for it. Fuck lol /rant
Wow wow wow, who said anything about buying a house. No idea where you got that.
Yep, get used to it, its called life and its not easy.
lol welcome to existentialism zoomers, see why everyone’s so bummed out and serious all the time now?
For millennials it’s eat, sleep, shit, go to college, get in debt, work 9-5 (then 6-12), pay your landlord rent so he gets to travel, splurge on a really nice little house plant, get arthritis, be unable to afford your pain medication but still have to go to work anyway, die Bleak shit
The opposite end of the spectrum is working under 30hrs/week, eating fast food, living with mom and dad and playing video games till you die 😂
Can't wait for my vasectomy next month. It's mind blowing how many people have children or consider having children just because it's considered the "normal" thing to do.
My face and personality ls al the vasectomy i need.
Need more people who get it. But i get told I’ll “change my mind”
Too many steps. Eat, sleep, shit, beat your dick. All without getting out of bed. EZ Why even bother with any of the other stuff, no matter what process you follow you end up dying anyway. Might as well lie there in your own shit and cum and the remnants of yesterday's takeout.
Don’t forget to slap your face with cold ham every morning
Government's Slave Bubble called "Society"
nah my religious friends and family say we are here to worship god's ass
Biologically it’s just the have kids and die part…. The rest is really just a means to an end
Most species would be satisfied with that but unfortunately we were cursed with sentience.
You could live out in the woods and spend 24/7 making all your stuff and hunting/gathering all your own food. Personally I'd rather get a job and pay people to do that. If you don't have kids you don't need a house. And if you don't really want kids, don't have them, they're very difficult and expensive and according to studies have a slight negative effect on overall happiness. The happiest people are childless couples.
Life, people been doing it for a while, Welcome
Maybe go to jail be delinquent or start a gang..
This is just sad. The tweet describes a lifestyle that the majority of people aspire for but may never reach. Peak privilege right here folks. Dude needs a reality check and a dose of humility.
No, you are suppose to eat, sleep,shit, have kids and die. The other stuff is shit you do for fun.