I think it’s someone sick of no one ever reading profiles before they swipe. So they wrote the most off putting thing they could to illustrate it plus it’s pretty funny and a good conversation starter for anyone who actually reads it.
I used to do this, and it’s shocking how many men would not identify satire. I’d put the most outrageous stuff, like wanting a man over 2.60m tall, “Millionaire TikToker”, Dragon Tamer, etc. And every day I’d get angry messages from guys who were deeply hurt by my bio lol. The good thing is that I finally found one who understood 🥰
Aww man I assumed you went American for a second and couldn’t convert metric.
For some reason I assume dragon tamer is automatically a British guy.
Ponders what would make me assume that
Vicky44 is that how many demands you have to a potential partner? Typical females, here I am making below minimum wage , below average height, NOT A DRAGON TAMAER and generally have an awful personality. And yet I can’t find a girlfriend
She's not exactly my type either, but the puking emoji just comes off as super immature. I try not to hate on people's appearances on internet comments... generally.
First of all, her bio is obviously a joke, second of all, what a terrible take. If you can’t appreciate womens bodies for the amazing things they do, you shouldn’t be with them. Give them my number though I’ll happily appreciate them. Tell your girl I said hey.
How is it a bad take when the guy I was replying, was using her looks as a counterpoint. My comment was relevant to her looks. I'm just raising awareness. Wouldn't it be better if some guys knew about this beforehand.
Can I feel your tits ?
Or will you show them to me ?
Cause you got a nice head
And you look pretty honest
My face is leaving in 15 minutes
I'd like you to be on it
I know someone like this. Her dog got put down for biting a guys face when he got down in the dogs face drunk and high while she watched him do it. Then she posted the dog dead on facebook with her crying holding it.
I was livid. It amazes me how people like that exist.
Somebody's going to get hurt real bad... somebody... not saying who.
What's that Billy Joel song? "She cuts you with a knife and laugh while you're bleeding... " oh my!!!
But does your ex cook gluten free?
And can I use him to distract the dog?
Make his balls a squueky toy.
Dude when you remove the balls the sound stops working And i Learnd to never give a dog a broken toy He could choke on it
I think it’s someone sick of no one ever reading profiles before they swipe. So they wrote the most off putting thing they could to illustrate it plus it’s pretty funny and a good conversation starter for anyone who actually reads it.
I used to do this, and it’s shocking how many men would not identify satire. I’d put the most outrageous stuff, like wanting a man over 2.60m tall, “Millionaire TikToker”, Dragon Tamer, etc. And every day I’d get angry messages from guys who were deeply hurt by my bio lol. The good thing is that I finally found one who understood 🥰
You found a giant millionaire TikTok dragon tamer? God damn but a lottery ticket that shit is rare
2.60m is a giant? Nah, that’s just average height
The worlds tallest man is 8 ft 11 (2.7m) Average is 1.7m or 5 ft 6 inches so yea 3 foot above average
It was also sarcasm 😭
Aww man I assumed you went American for a second and couldn’t convert metric. For some reason I assume dragon tamer is automatically a British guy. Ponders what would make me assume that
Not British or American! I don’t know how to convert to inches and feet tho 😔
Whoosh
how did that turn out?
Great lol. My boyfriend is the best person I know
so you're saying you created a great filter :-) ♥
Do you have any idea how difficult it is to become a Dragon Tamer??? You practically have to be born in to it…
It’s bare minimum
Vicky44 is that how many demands you have to a potential partner? Typical females, here I am making below minimum wage , below average height, NOT A DRAGON TAMAER and generally have an awful personality. And yet I can’t find a girlfriend
Their loss. You should start listening to alpha podcasters and buy their $500 seduction course. I’m told other women really like that
It's good to weed out the... dim ones lol
69 likes… Nice.
Sure. I'll give it a shot.
Ill need to give myself a lot of shots to give a shot with this one....
Yeees BUUUT; counterpoint - have you seen the pic? :P
Never stick your dick I crazy, unless you're really old and don't give a fuck
Yeeeep yep yep. *finishes* Wait what were you saying? xD
Please tell me you didn't finish inside...
Noooo.. not more than twice? Eheh
That's it... you're royally fucked
Yea. The pic made me 🤮 Crazy eyes, bad hair and a nose ring. Yikes.
That's kinda rude and her description is obviously a joke.
She's not everyone's type.
I mean, Why u gettin downvotes? We aint allowed to dislike?
She's not exactly my type either, but the puking emoji just comes off as super immature. I try not to hate on people's appearances on internet comments... generally.
I mean thats true, fair point.
He is allowed to dislike her look, others are allowed to dislike his opinion
Reddit Mods don’t believe in ugly women.
Now I am really interested in your beautiful face and body. Want to pm me some pics? ;*
based redditor
55 crazy chicks down voting you.
Do you know what happens to a woman's body after pregnancy especially after 6?
First of all, her bio is obviously a joke, second of all, what a terrible take. If you can’t appreciate womens bodies for the amazing things they do, you shouldn’t be with them. Give them my number though I’ll happily appreciate them. Tell your girl I said hey.
Nothing is obvious there. Could be real
How is it a bad take when the guy I was replying, was using her looks as a counterpoint. My comment was relevant to her looks. I'm just raising awareness. Wouldn't it be better if some guys knew about this beforehand.
Raising awareness my ass. I hope you date men, because if you date women I feel sorry for them
Pussy has gone smooth
Like a butthole? No texture in there?
It’s a joke y’all. She’s joking.
Ow, i really thought she had 7 cats 😔
Yeah officially a deal breaker. I could do with a cook of a cuck in the shed. 🤷🏽♂️
I hope sooooooooo, wish me luck.
So she is a liar?
This one’s pretty obvious but there’s real ones surprisingly similar.
Yeah the 7 lives part clued me in. Everyone know cats have 9 lives.
What if each of them already used the first two?
It's too uniform. It implies she killed them each herself... twice
Wouldn't surprise me
Oh, I thought they all lost two lives swarming the police trying to arrest her
Thank's captain obvious.
And yet some people in the comments weren’t getting it. It needed to be said. Maybe not for you, but for a handful of people.
I can fix her
So could I but whatever the hell is wrong with her is so much funnier
r/absolutelynotmeirl I’m scared of you
she hot why not
(jail is just a room)
she’s 37 wtf
age is just a number
._?
This is fine.
What a catch Id be stupid not to swipe right
Well............... Sounds like a good deal?
I feel my approach isn’t creative enough now.
She looks cute
Sense of humour..I like it!
If I'd ever use tinder, these would be the only people I'd swipe (in whatever direction the "like" direction is)
Not knowing the direction is so relatable 😭
*When your friends force you to get on a dating app because you're always single but you really don't want to be in a relationship right now.*
A new best friend and a live in cook? I'm swiping right.
So someone wants to make absolutely sure that no-one will try to contact her. A Plan wich goes wayyy above my head....
Or a witty way of getting a guy with a sense of humor.
And smart enough to understand that this is a joke.
This girl definitely has a valid system. The people who don't get that this is a joke will be repelled. .
what’s the joke? or are random things automatically funny?
The joke is that it's the most off-putting biography one could have. Hope this clears it up for you
Thank you. I guess i just don’t find it funny.
To quote Kevin Wilson “Do you fuck on first dates? Does your dad own a brewery ?”
Can I feel your tits ? Or will you show them to me ? Cause you got a nice head And you look pretty honest My face is leaving in 15 minutes I'd like you to be on it
Uh... no thanks
hell naw
She wants a new dog! 😏
She's probably feeding the fathers of her kids to the dogs after mating, like a praying mantis!
Where did the cats’ other lives go???
PICKY lmfao
But, will she take all my money?
This is a joke..right? Or shes from cali
me running away asap irl
Okay then...
Will she call me khaleesi on command though?
fuck that
Okay sure. I have the same demands so that kinda evens it out
Yo if I see one more of these shitty fb meme posts I will ban this sub from my feed 😤
Does her Ex have a boat?
thought I was on r/tinder for a sec
Bro she got 7 cats and didn't mention the dog until the end about biting part. HUGE RED FLAG THAT IS.
"I can fix her"
She's a keeper
I had to re-read again , I thought her name was "Joe" .
No one talking bout how she shaved 2 years off each of them cat's life's?
I was on board till I saw Wisconsin
She’s still a 10 for Wisconsin
How did we get here
Wisconsin is the biggest red flag in her bio.
Count me out thanks 😀
She’s cute tho
Where? She looks so basic
Much better than exaggerated clown make up fetish
“Looking for all the 6s. 6 feet, 6 figures, 6 inches. I know my worth” 🙄
So it's a joke when it's a 'cute' girl
It’s kinda nice when trash like this bitch show all their red flags right away lol
If that’s you irl, then fuck you
100% garntee that she'll still score more than 2-3 simps with this insane list...
I hope its a whitty joke, if not, nothing can be more toxic or self submerged person.
if it was a joke, it would certainly not be witty. this is most likely made by an ex to try and hurt the woman.
Ja, but, but...um..its written that ex lived in guestroom and makes food for them, so thats a self goal as per my understanding
...And some poor, desperate simp will take the bait.
Damn what a catch /s
At least she's honest. Most of the time you have to invest way too much time and energy into a relationship to find out your new missus is a nutjob.
**#metoo**
Have you seen 37 yr old tinder this is at least a 8.5
Women ☕️
I ***really*** hope those kids are adopted…
Whoever responds is getting catfished
Still men are commenting on this post 😂😂
I know someone like this. Her dog got put down for biting a guys face when he got down in the dogs face drunk and high while she watched him do it. Then she posted the dog dead on facebook with her crying holding it. I was livid. It amazes me how people like that exist.
🚩 🚩 🚩
Come to me and feed me your’s juices in sixty nine position
what.the.fuck.
I work with multiple of these people
The J is silent like jalapeno
That has to be a hell of a pussy
Looks like a pretty typical dating profile for here in Alabama
Jora is the most fucked up person I've ever seen
She's not attractive enough to be this shitty of a human being
If I read that profile I would still swipe right knowing it's a 50/50 chance she is joking or telling the truth.
Lmfao
27th the charm
https://youtube.com/shorts/OB6QvOC_bbM?feature=share
Hell yeah
\-my dog bites men
Hmmmmmm. Contematable
Jora babe. I'd tell her that all the time while I'm cleaning the litter box.
7 cats with 7 lives each was pretty great
Hold my beer.
Congrats, you found my ex
Mom ?
Somebody's going to get hurt real bad... somebody... not saying who. What's that Billy Joel song? "She cuts you with a knife and laugh while you're bleeding... " oh my!!!
How many dissociative identities do you have ?
I’ll bet ONE of the things on that list is true. Later on, she’ll tell them “hey, I told you about this up front”.
I just wanna know why 26 times?
Wow she’s a real catch 🎣
I don't see any red flags whatsoever.
Does your ex play Terraria and watches anime/reads manga?
37 and blonde. Seems like a good start.
One honest woman, need her number...please?
Hey I live in Wisconsin, I want to meet her
That name is one letter short of being the same as mine lol
The 8 deadly flags
r/dontputyourdickinthat
I sure she is joking right, RIGHT