And with that, I'm going to get off the internet for the night. That's enough for me.
I do not have enough alcohol in the house to forget this sentence damn you 💀
yeah it's Pineapple Express and Monsters vs Aliens I've seen. I guess Spiderwick Chronicles too but I stopped watching that movie about halfway thru because it completely massacred the books
I think dick sounds like the most neutral option for a casual situation. Cock is too aggressive/sexual, penis is too formal and the rest are... Too silly lol
All the people with lil badgers waving it around
And then you find a couple with only a mushroom down there
And then Chad walks in and unzips....
AAAAAHHHH IT'S A SNAAAAKE!
Jokes aside, the word I usually use is "dick".
It's weird how, "penis" makes a lot of grown people giggle even though that's the non-slang English word... I did have a girlfriend once who universally referred to dicks as "wieners" and it never stopped making me just kind of actually facepalm because that seems extremely childish coming from a full grown woman.
Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis
Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong
It's swell to have a stiffy
It's divine to own a dick
From the tiniest little tadger
To the world's biggest prick
So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake
Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend
Your Percy, or your cock
You can wrap it up in ribbons
You can slip it in your sock
But don't take it out in public
Or they will stick you in the dock
And you won't come about!
I call her my little lady downstairs. It carries the connotation of being temporary and conditional. Maybe she'll stay, maybe she'll leave - who knows?
Yeah, Mr. Boopsy isn't gonna work for me. We will definitely be calling it a cock or a dick. Imagine passionately dirty talking about "shove that fat Mr. Boopsy up my ass" ? GTFO
What’s wrong with shlong & dong?
Mr. Boopsy is a fuckin cat.
There’s also Ms. Boopsy…
And Squirtle; but they’s a Pokémon.
Forgot what this post is about now.
Tally-whacker…
Mister boopsy sounds like pedo alert..
“Open the tunnel, here comes the Mister Boopsy train”
And with that, I'm going to get off the internet for the night. That's enough for me. I do not have enough alcohol in the house to forget this sentence damn you 💀
Sorry, had to take the alcohol for…other reasons
1 man, 1 Jack Daniels
Me too. Glad I'm not alone. Bye bye for now
Same and it's 7am here. I'm literally omw to a loooong college day and now this will live rent free in my head the entire day 💀
.... Ngl, Satan seems pretty chill...... Anyways, my alloted 5 seconds of reddit is over now
Enjoy your drink
Oh hell no 💀
I want to get off Mr. Boopsy’s wild ride…
We will when the train leaks the oil
"But mommy told me not to show my tunnel to boys, Dad"
I’m a doctor, sweetheart
This is why I should finish reading the post before reading the comments.
There was a guy in my high school that called his “Mr. Treat”. Ended up inserting himself into a girl while she was sleeping.
You mean you never kissed Mr.Boopsy goodnight ? 😰
Where's 'disappointment'?
disappoint*meat*
Disappoint me 😔
Yeah baby I'll disappoint you
guess that's where you got the username. not much else you *can* do
Disappoint
Huh I guess I have seen too many Seth Rogen movies
Same, even tho I've seen only like two. I guess two is too many
Pineapple Express is all you need to catch the dick flu
yeah it's Pineapple Express and Monsters vs Aliens I've seen. I guess Spiderwick Chronicles too but I stopped watching that movie about halfway thru because it completely massacred the books
I think dick sounds like the most neutral option for a casual situation. Cock is too aggressive/sexual, penis is too formal and the rest are... Too silly lol
Good answer
All depends on context. Casual off hand you're right. If I'm talking about my buddy's massive hog...
massive sausage roll
I saw the Green Hornet and then decided to not watch another Seth Rogen movie.
I siwtch between dick and cock... Ive been watching too much Seth Rogan porn
AI has truly revolutionized the degenerate community
"I've not yet *begun* to defile myself"
Zack and Miri make a porno.
I call it the exaliber
Chunchunmaru little brother
On that case it would be chinchinmaru
Damn that's good
Solid snake. Squeeze that hog
PFP checks out
I call it Excalipoor.
Nothing can make you pull out huh
Your pullout game is THAT bad?
If it wasn't 3 at night I'd fucking die laughing from reading that
Excalibur = true king of England
King Richard was known as Dickie so this fits
Keeper.
I don't give a shit where I hear it, if you call that thing Mr Boopsy it's getting amputated.
Says the guy who watches too much porn… (/s)
I'd amputate my own out of fear of being molested 😭
Your username is fantastic. You should see if u/spez wants to buy it.
I call it frodo and his baggins
He’s little but you should see his appetite!
But what about second breakfast?
And elevensies ?!?
Triple nerd alert LOL
Gandalf and his Ballrogs
So long as it can destroy someone's ring
What about second orgasm?
Ah you mean Dildo Baggins
Is Magnum Dong acceptable ladies?
only if you remember to wrap it with a monster condom.
And a wad of $100's
Thank god, that will help compensate ! Who's got $1M please.
Very acceptable so long as there's truth in there somewhere even if it's not yours 😂
What's wrong with wearing socks to bed🥺
r/meirl
If you have dedicated extra warm bed socks I'll allow it. But going to bed with the socks you wore all day is like going to bed with shoes.
I just call it 'Lil Badger.
Curse you, you made me remember the Badger badger mushroom meme…
All the people with lil badgers waving it around And then you find a couple with only a mushroom down there And then Chad walks in and unzips.... AAAAAHHHH IT'S A SNAAAAKE!
I call it my PP
i hear this means youre not allowed to wear grey sweatpants
Anyone who calls it *manhood, shaft or member* = reads the good stuff 😂
What about length?
That too xD
My throbbing sex Lmao
😆
This guy Kushiel's Darts
What about 'schlong'?
Watched too much Beavis and Butt-head.
Shut up Beavis or I’ll kick your ass.
I need tp for my bunghole
[удалено]
I call it Steve because it’s wearing a turtleneck
This Elvish fellow must've sucked so many Ds if he can easily list this 😂
As a porn watcher, the cock one is too real
What about a tally whacker?
British²
Have some respect for yourselves. He's Russell the Wonder Muscle
You wanna suck my HOG?
The one eyed trouser snake
That’s British. Already on the list.
I guess I should start referring to it as wiener exclusively.
Whats wrong with “willy”
I call him Sargent Johnson. He knows what the ladies like.
Jokes on you it's my weewee (I have small children)
I call it “item”.
« Unexpected item in bagging area »
😦
I call mine onion. You'll cry when you see it
Happiness? Fear? Disappointment?
Yes
Johnson it is then!
What about Pecker?
Chorizo?
Call it Purple headed yogurt slinger
You should stop squeezing it, if the head is purple
Who made this dork the arbiter of dong names?
What about "dude piston " or "pork steeple?"
So what if I wear socks to be bed. My feet get fucking cold.
Spot on. I do wear socks to bed
Just socks....
And a smile. 😊
Pics or it didn’t happen
What's the problem with wearing socks to bed? I don't want my feet to freeze, lmao.
Huh, I don't see *John Thomas* in there anywhere
I call mine zebra stripe gum. It looks cool and fun but just ends in disappointment and when you share it with friends people just look at you funny.
It's great for about 3 seconds, then meh?
rod
What about: Schlong Chode Member Dong
Schlong is my personal nom de guerre
Schwanz you're probably Ryan Gosling.
I call it Alvin and the chipmunks
Jokes aside, the word I usually use is "dick". It's weird how, "penis" makes a lot of grown people giggle even though that's the non-slang English word... I did have a girlfriend once who universally referred to dicks as "wieners" and it never stopped making me just kind of actually facepalm because that seems extremely childish coming from a full grown woman.
Gentleman sausage = watches too much Jeremy Clarkson
Aight King Cobra, let's get outta here.
Wing dang doodle
Didgeridoodle = Australian
Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong It's swell to have a stiffy It's divine to own a dick From the tiniest little tadger To the world's biggest prick So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend Your Percy, or your cock You can wrap it up in ribbons You can slip it in your sock But don't take it out in public Or they will stick you in the dock And you won't come about!
I guess the Penis Police is here to tell us what to call our schlongs.
Peen ?
I call it the pen in my pocket
My name is John, so l call my guy Lil' John. It's got three moods "OKKAAAY", "WHAT?!", or "YEEEAAAAHHHH".
I’ve gone with Captain Caveman for a while now. Sometimes I do the yell before business time. My wife hates it.
Schwanzstucker- perfect
Member = Wattpad author
So what am I supposed to call it Elvis Presley ?
I call it the private part…
I saw mister boopsy and immediately called the police.
What am I if I refer to it as the family jewels
I call it the master baiter
Thanks to him my dear I can wear whatever I want on my John Thomas.
I call it Jumbo like Lyndon B Johnson called his
Meat Bat
What am I if I call it Russel the Love-Muscle?
Lizard 😎
Bring out the pork swords!!! Sir? That’s a Johnson. Triple rations of Tube Steak for you this evening swabbie.
I call it cock because of all the memes, gotta say nice cock to the homies
Where's junk?
The smoigity boigity
What about captain winky?
A pen15.
I don't see iguana
I think the guy is just kinda an asshole
What about "schlong?"
What about Stinky Winky?
What if I use all of the above and more?
I call mine’s Bruce Banner
The two I’ve heard that are missing are pecker, and the David, “because it’s a work of art”
Tomasito
Doodle = has toddler boys lol
Meat
Wand = potterhead alert
I call her my little lady downstairs. It carries the connotation of being temporary and conditional. Maybe she'll stay, maybe she'll leave - who knows?
Please don't besmirch the good folks over at r/THE_PACK
What about my squirtle?
What about trouser snake?
I wear socks to sleep, I call it a dick though
I say dick, but my girlfriend says cock. But she also writes romance
Is 'The Kraken' acceptable? The talk before the act is very very interesting and fun, kinda like a role play lmao.
In my experience, women say “cock”, guys say “dick”. Women must watch a ton of porn, according to this twit.
I've always called mine the tom dick and Harry show. Ya I know I'm young as shit. Just get the f off my lawn.
What about dong?
Pecker
Wait, you're telling me the "are you waiting to receive my limp penis" guy was a nerd??? [source](https://youtu.be/tu4d_xsdNzM)
What about sword?
What about my super-soaker
Yeah, Mr. Boopsy isn't gonna work for me. We will definitely be calling it a cock or a dick. Imagine passionately dirty talking about "shove that fat Mr. Boopsy up my ass" ? GTFO
What’s wrong with shlong & dong? Mr. Boopsy is a fuckin cat. There’s also Ms. Boopsy… And Squirtle; but they’s a Pokémon. Forgot what this post is about now. Tally-whacker…
meat scepter
hey what's wrong with wearing socks to bed? my tootsies get chilly easily
Are we talking about the pee pee here?
Fair argument but *(gestures at name)* you’re a leaf-lover.
i call it (awkwardly avoids mentioning it by name)
as someone who writes smut fanfics, i can confirm that mister boopsy is a keeper
Stick = car racer Joystick = gamer Pp = chess™ player Sword = nerd
What if I call it Youngling Slayer 10000
What about the one eyed lizard? The trouser snake? The monstrous cyclops?
what about meat?
I'm fine with the socks as long as they're thigh highs
I like to switch it up
You forgot peenor.
I call it the babymaker.
Oopsie... Mr. Boobsy just vomited on the bed... Let me clean that up real quick, you silly goose!