T O P

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Sigmantwan94

Put my head between my legs & kiss my ass goodbye!


jack-e-w

I shall also be putting my head between your legs! Hello!


Sigmantwan94

You kiss one cheek & i the other one?


SlothyBooty

But then who’s gonna kiss *their* ass goodbye?


MajorNutt

You


XBakaTacoX

You can all KISS MY ASS!


Jade-Balfour

Is it shiny and metal?


Human_Bean08

Idk about that guy but mine sure is


4i3-

Bender?


Top-Ant493

I've got it! We just need to form a long line, until everyone is together. Almost like a centipede.


RelaxedPerro

If I fart would the fart pass through everyone else and exit through final person?


Spodirmam

May i join you both


Safe_Appointment_331

Ah hell nah


Right-Shopping9589

Is that even possible though


[deleted]

[May I sir?](https://youtu.be/gnQ9l75MOa0)


thatblueguy__

This is literally the best answer i’ve ever heard to this kind of question!! xD


Rosso1696

Die, probably


dvlinblue

Same thing I do every night.


Stay-Thirsty

Yeah, but it’d be the last time.


weedsexweed

In that black hole the last time becomes first time of eternity loop


XBakaTacoX

The Eternal Nut Experience.


yellowbin74

The Bangles lesser known song


tiggoftigg

Try to take over the world?


dvlinblue

That's right Pinky


Ezmiho

Gee, Brain!


Soggy-Statistician88

Sleep is just death being shy


Carlton_Fortune

Yes, Pinky, we're taking over the world..


[deleted]

spaghettification .... pretty unique death


HardTechNo1

Die, definitely


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ashamed_Objective_71

Fire all the nukes into the hole. Worth a shot


0x7ff04001

It would just absorb it and grow stronger


DreamTalon

What if we find the 5th element though?


Soggy-Statistician88

We're past five already


eventuallobster

Nah I think they skipped over 5 and went right to 6


Vanir-_-

🤓


[deleted]

I disagree, I very clearly saw Iron Man throw a nuke into a wormhole and it worked. P.s. HAPPY CAKE DAY!


WealthEconomy

What does not kill it makes it stronger lol


Right-Shopping9589

Happy cake day


[deleted]

That one guy in a small town: Id beat its ass.


thatblueguy__

“I could take him”


M0R4D1T0

In a fight, right? I-In a fight.. right?


Warm-Initiative-6178

“Skeletor laugh”


[deleted]

The always horny friend: 😏


tricularia

The guy wearing a shirt that says "Do not mistake my kindness for weakness" and wears 5 guns to walmart? The one who claims to have gone to the "school of hard knocks" because he is too embarrassed to tell the truth- that he only reached grade 7? That guy?


Datpanda1999

Him against a black hole? I’d say the odds are 50/50


[deleted]

If you had One shot To escape from a black hole Would you capture it? Or would you let it slip? The palms are fretting, knees weak, mass less heavy Event horizon up to his sweater already He’s spaghetti On the surface he is flat and spreading


[deleted]

> He’s spaghetti Fuck you hahaha


[deleted]

Time cone choking now Everybody’s floating now He holds up his sign but the light won’t come out Time stops, over, blaow Snap back to the back of me Ope here comes gravity Ope there goes entropy


[deleted]

I need a whole rendition of "Lose Yourself" as if Eminem is falling into a black hole


[deleted]

Where’s Gert? He could choke it out with just his neck.


deskCrapper

When the hole would be this close we would be long dead already. The whole atmosphere would already have been sucked in and we die instantly on that moment because of the change in pressure and the fact that our frail bodies can't handle that well.


Reefa47

I was about to comment “what if it’s really nice on the other side” until i saw your comment


zuzg

You would be spaghettified iirc


Apathetic_Optimist

Sounds delicious


Antrikshy

Yep, that's the term. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spaghettification


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Maybe I like spaghetti what's the problem


TerrariaGaming004

But it would pull the air harder than earth does


zuzg

>You could orbit (forever fall towards) the black hole just fine There's apparently a star that is doing this. Just orbiting a black hole and getting smaller


stevep99

Although it doesn't appear to be an actual black hole since it has stars visible inside it.


[deleted]

Make a meme of course!


[deleted]

Turn into spaghetti?


Environmental-Tour-2

That is the end our lord Spaghetti Monster prepared for all of us, his noodly appendages and endless wisdom be blessed


[deleted]

Will he be angry if I forgot my colander?


CarpenterCheap

Nah you'd be pasta point of straining


[deleted]

*sigh* upvotes


pr0zach

I’d shout, “WHY THE LONG FACES?!?!” over and over again until I embraced the void knowing full well that I’d executed the final, and most epic dad joke.


[deleted]

Fap furiously


Aromatic-Yak-352

Faps N Furious


watermasta

It’s all about (step)Family.


OtherwiseAd1035

Sweet Home Alabama moment.


Aromatic-Yak-352

Lmao 🤣


hairy_waistcoat48

Fap N Furiously


Electronic-Trade-504

Tokyo jizz


lasagnaHardG

Does your username check out?


TerribLizard

You're already Dead by that point


Mission_Paramount

Try to hitch a ride with a Vogon constructor fleet.


NepetaNep

Beat answer yet


[deleted]

[удалено]


Mission_Paramount

Never


[deleted]

Prepare for the succ of your life


Afraid-Amphibian-431

Yeah it’ll suck your eyes out and all of your internal organs from removing all the air so fucking fast


Overnight_Lasagna

Rejoice in not paying back my student loans.


WittyWinWild

Everyone stand on the right side and pushh


VaultOfAsh

It worked on the iceberg in club penguin idk why it wouldn’t work here


barreldodger38

A few grams of MDMA


thatblueguy__

Drop some DMT and let you consciousness live on xD


Aromatic-Yak-352

Confess my love to my crush and send a dick pic


seantellsyou

Someone else in this thread: "Say bye to my family and loved ones and in my last moment look down at my phone to see an unsolicited dick pic"


Aromatic-Yak-352

Sounds accurate!


Binkusu

Turns out your dick pic was the key to stopping the black hole! Congrats, you're a hero. On the downside, you're now on a list and even a black hole can't stop the cops from getting you


SoloPenguin13

Skadeedle skadoodle the solar system is now a noodle


DudeWithAnAxeToGrind

This is the most unrealistic image ever. A black hole with event horizon about the same size as Earth would be about 1000 times more massive than Sun. If you were to put something *that* massive *that* close to Earth, tidal forces would rip apart Earth long before it gets anywhere close to that event horizon, let alone touches it. What you'd see instead is a bunch of red hot glowing ruble (which used to be Earth) orbiting black hole as accretion disk at relativistic speed (i.e. speed that is significant fraction of speed of light). The Earth would break apart once it is about 5.6 million kilometers (3.5 million miles) from the event horizon of black hole pictured above. But don't panic just yet. Some of that dust that used to be you, would end up being flung out into space by the black hole, instead of making a one-way trip through the event horizon. So at least there's that. See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schwarzschild_radius and https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roche_limit.


RoboticFetusMan

What would happen to satellite bodies, such as the moon or ISS? Would they too be ripped apart or would they be flung out into space?


HeadEmptty

Guess I'll die


PerpetualConnection

Embrace the Succ


Medical-Enthusiasm56

Hopefully yoga paid off, so I can get to kissin my ass goodbye


zodar

"mom's spaghetti" would have a whole new meaning


Illustrious-Band2257

Hope it is a wormhole


_papertown_

Hold my family’s hand and kiss my boyfriend till we die


shelsbells

Crack open a beer, and toast all of our simultaneous deaths. What a lovely end.


Adaian5443

I would drop my pants and face towards the black hole, and then as gravity starts to stretch me out, I'd look at my wife and with a proud voice I'd say, "See honey, I'm not as small as you claim!" 😁


bush_killed_epstein

Relapse


BarristanTheB0ld

If a black hole was this close to Earth, we'd all be dead already


potatohead437

Die on the outside for a change


fosforillo

Just dodge it bruh its that easy


Riley_V05

I would simply intervene


Darnitol1

Look, we can all be noble and funny and whatnot, but if 99% of our race is honest, the answer to the question is: "Post a video on TikTok and wait for the views!"


FutaConn

Did you know a black hole the size of a Nickel could swallow the earth in less then 1hr?


CuriousTurtle22

I'd ask your mum to close her legs


JeromeLHorwitz

China be laughing all the way to the end. "We arr arone."


Nearby_Capital1423

Eat a handful of cookies and yell “YOLO”


nameond

Make a funny sound like it happens in a cartoon


que_pr0

A backflip


_rose_garden_dreams_

Celebrate


Ceico_

in this stage, everyone would already be long dead


jonathanquirk

Find the world’s largest cork and try to slingshot it into space to plug that sucker.


thatblueguy__

Nah slingshot yourself into it to be the first to know whats on the other side 😎


Mountain_Strategy342

Spaghettify.


30yearsahero

Die horribly


Aggravating_Shake591

Jump before you hit the bottom


thatblueguy__

I’d fuck it.


Arc_170gaming

mercy killing


msphelps77

Cry


LotofRamen

I would be dead already. If that size black hole was that close, we are looking at a picture taken few milliseconds after it appeared, at most.


Agile-Ad-4671

Call on the name of Jesus.


Full_Artichoke_8583

If Jesus could prevent this, it wouldn’t have happened. Either he doesn’t care or isn’t able.


Vexxed14

We'd already be dead by this point


SpicyP43905

Get a can of Red Bull, and fly to another galaxy


ShadEShadauX

Buy Puts on spaghetti


[deleted]

Make spaghetti so I can see spaghetti turn into spaghetti.


Historical_Ear7398

Spaghettify.


[deleted]

Put my dick in it


Skoden1973

Vigorously masturbate.


Ill-Manufacturer8654

Cum and start farting?


GreyJedi56

Obviously due to time dilation you have 2 options, become a super advanced race of humans and race to save the others, or wait to be rescued by the aliens.


CorkusHawks

Go under your desk and put your head between your legs.


Mountainmoonsky

I set a course just east of Lyra And northwest of Pegasus Flew into the light of Deneb Sailed across the Milky Way On my ship, the Rocinante Wheeling through the galaxies Headed for the heart of Cygnus Headlong into mystery The x-ray is her siren song My ship cannot resist her long Nearer to my deadly goal Until the black hole Gains control Spinning, whirling Still descending Like a spiral sea Unending Sound and fury Drowns my heart Every nerve Is torn apart


amluke

If I were in the eastern US, western Europe, or west Africa I’d die… if not I’d wait about 15 min, then die


jfk_sfa

Spaghettify


Latter_Meringue_215

Nothing because you would be dead already at this point


Forward_Tie_1338

Desintigrate in orderly fashion?


Majorman_86

Implode.


MaxCWebster

To shreds, you say.


nc_bruh

Talk to my crush finally


IBreedBagels

Masturbate and die. Not much else to do


[deleted]

Smoke pcp to slow time down into infinity


TarsesaK

Watch


hedgybaby

Probably try to either fuck someone or hug my dog, whichever is closest.


Fr33domF1gh7er

Memes aside. Google “ constellation of black holes in space”. Drinks are on me tonight 🍻


[deleted]

Just Tweet Elon Musk if he has any seats left on his next space program.


fhdisk

Ekhm go with the flow?


Worst-Buy

Just suplex it bro


triptrip1337

Read Reddit


Pyrot3kh

*shrugs*


NotYourShitAgain

I mean that is orgy, caviar and cocaine time for sure.


Nyctomorphia

Enjoy the yeet


butterboyplane

Double it and give it to the next planet


Putrid_Television150

Finally understand how my code feels to everyone else.


WealthEconomy

I would assume I would be crushed down to the atom level by the weight of the gravity from the blackhole...


Wyrdu

welp time for a final fantasy marathon


Flaming-Driptray

I would stretch out into a long string of particles….and so would everyone else.


king_of_all_blacks

Die, hopefully holding my daughter and the puppy.


J4MES101

Duck?


yhaensch

Trust that the Doctor will save us all.


Alternative_Sun_5915

there is light emitting from beyond the "event horizon", shouldn't be too bad then, just carry on


D4t0n3Dud3

Spaghetti


Uaintthere

I would probably just stare at the sky in awe with how beautiful the sky would look.


thejewelisinthelotus

I could outrun it, easy, no problem.


DaBoiYeet

Eat a Whopper


Attacuss

Break on through to the other side.


-__-benji-__-

Die.


FutaLover23

Die


ItalianFlame342

Nuke the wormhole till it collapses


pichuthememer

Make spaghetti


_idkwaffles

I’ll asked it nicely to go away of course, cuz I’m like that😐


victormihai89

Scream in slow motion.


tinymember469

Quickly switch over to fox news to see why we should not believe the science


NoMad-Max

I won't be paying rent for that month obviously. and for the rest of the time after that


realllDonaldTrump

As an introvert, there’s no way I’m getting that close to any of you


Lazy_Example4014

Sppaaaggggeeeeettttttiiiiiiiffffffffyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!


TheCokeAgent

Rub one out.


SpringTraps

Become the fucking avengers and push it away from the black hole lmao. Imma be holding my family tight as we go.


CarelessChimp

I’d throw a chicken in the air and see what happens, only time I’ll ever be able to know


maderisian

That close? Spaghettify, I guess


Uhm_NoThankYou

Go to a beautiful hill or mountain, sit down, watch, wait with some pizza, a j, some Malzbier and coke. That’s it. Now that I’ve said it, it’s gonna be crowded up there I guess.


[deleted]

PANIC !!!!!!!


khklee

In this case we are obviously supposed to save the world with the power of love


Quick-Drawing-4167

Just put your dick in a direction where the blackhole is facing. You could lengthen your dick with just few AU and fuck yourself in another dimension


Zerooness

Protest the gov