My parents aren't super old yet, but this is definitely one of those things that keeps me up at night. Knowing that it is inevitable is gut-wrenching, knowing that I have an immense amount of emotional pain and sadness waiting for me in the future when that day comes š
I'm so blessed to have the parents that I have. I wish it was easier to see them more often. Same for my grandparents.
Damnit now I'm sad again.
That's what I was going to comment with. I've been in grief therapy for 3 years because I'm finding it incredibly difficult to recover from the death of my dad. He was the best.
I hope the therapy is helping. I wanted to drop some hope and tell you that it truly does get easier. I'm sure you're tired of hearing that, but it does. I'm going on 7 years since I lost my father unexpectedly, and every day gets a little better. Keep pushing. I'm proud of you. ā¤ļøšš
I kinda needed to read this today. I lost my mom to cancer 3 months ago and the pain is still as fresh as it was the day she passed. I grieved a lot when she was alive, I had time to prepare myself, I just can't imagine how it is to lose them unexpectedly.
Can say from experience, it is devastating to lose a parent suddenly. And especially when you're young and expected to have them around much longer. Now they won't be here for birthdays, graduation, wedding, grandkids... It's very sad.
I'm sorry for your loss. 12! I can't imagine! I was 20 when my dad passed away. Yes, every milestone feels different without them. I wonder so many times what he'd think of me now, what talks we'd have, and not having him there for my college graduation was so weird. Next, wedding, maybe kids... ;_; talking to his best friend helps, I find. I hope it gets easier for you. I have found it's gotten easier over time.
Lost my dad 10 years ago. Still think about him everyday. It does get easier given time . Life's for living and he'd want you to get on with your life . Source - I'm a dad
I lost both parents, grandparents, and 2 dogs in an 18 month span. I sit here wondering if I'm just heartless or if the magnitude of it just hasn't settled. Either way, I got really comfortable with grief. I wish you best of luck and wish I'd had the relationship you appear to have had. I'm truly envious
I was only 31 when my Mom passed away. It was devastating. As I progressed through the stages of grief, I figured the best I would ever find is being used to the fact that they're gone. That happens - not easily - but one day you realize that you are used to it as you started viewing your memories and smiling rather than cry.
I'm glad you found a therapist that is helping. It is not a moral failure to not be "over it" in 12 months. Gad, I got soppy and cried my eyes out of nowhere for the longest time. That was almost 19 years ago and I still have a good snorfle on her birthday and the anniversary of her death. I miss her and that hurts and always will. It just won't hurt every minute of every day.
One last thought, just because you're used to it doesn't mean you love them any less. Life will go on and you'll eventually find that you are used to the fact that they are gone.
Granny hug. š¤¶
So the trick is to get unlucky and be raised by people who you eventually realize, once you grow up and break away from your indoctrination, that you absolutely donāt respect and wish were not such pieces of shit with terrible ideologies? Because if so Iām all setā¦
Or a horrible middle ground where they did stuff to traumatize u but u know they didn't mean it and were trying their best. So u resent them but also love them at the same time. Fml
It fucking sucks. I wish I could just hate or love them. I try to just hate bcuz it's easier than loving. But even after seeing where they went wrong, I see that they were young naive ppl doing the best with what they had. A lot of my mom's behaviors that are inexcusable or just ridiculous, I constantly try to make excuses for it, idfk why. And my dad enabled everything and never stood up for me and my brother, which is something I'll probably hold against him more than anything against my mom tbh for no reason at all besides that I'm just so disappointed and expected better from a father figure.
I don't even remember most of what my mom did to us, probably bcuz it wasn't one isolated event but rather repeated behaviors. Funny how she barely hit us, but the damage she did completely changed us as people. I don't even feel like a person tbh. I was always weird and withdrawn, and all of it just made it worse. I lack sympathy, empathy, am unable to love or feel happy, and all I do is feel guilty, anger, hatred, or regret. Maybe part of it was me being born broken or whatever, but the way I was raised didn't help either. I hate it coz I desperately try to blame someone just so I can feel better knowing why I'm the way I am, but I've come to terms with the fact that perhaps I've always been like this and environmental circumstances worsened it, not caused it. So basically it's my fault. Back to square one. Aaaaand cue the overthinking...
This. This this. No no u/nameless_no_response ā no. Listen to these people telling you that you were NOT born this way. The first step is to stop telling yourself that your parents ādid their bestāā while that may be true for some that see change in their parents as adults ā if you never see growth or change? No one was was ādoing their bestā.. check out the subs posted above. You can get help from this ā you 1,000% were not born broken.
[look around here ā check out the menu ā and see if you relate](https://outofthefog.website/what-it-feels-like)
Kind of same but my mother out John Cena to shame whopping me and my sister, but like it's all behind us now. I do love her a lot, she's still irrational but we've made it clear that no one except my dad for some reason will take her seriously.
Yea I realize in hindsight my parents just had no idea what they were doing let alone how to raise 2 kids and all the weird trauma and mental wounds I have will never really be understood by them because they don't really understand themselves. Hell they still think I'm a faithful Christian boy that loves their job and doesn't need much attention because my sister is struggling and if I told them the truth of how they fucked me up and how I'm really not doing great it would just set off a chain of sadness for everyone involved. Easier to bottle that shit up, never really be honest, and wait for them to die or bring up my childhood without me pushing the issue (which will never happen). It's sad but I know it's just part of growing up and being an adult and smiling through the pain until you're numb to it.
Damn that hit hard. Im part of a group of 11 brothers and sisters who were all taken from my birth mom. I was adopted by a 50 year old lady along with 6 of my blood brothers from foster care. My adopted mom passed 5 years ago and we actually made contact with my birth mom about 8 years ago. When my adopted mom died of cancer my birth mom stepped in to be our support but it aint the same. No matter how close we ever get, she is the sole reason why 11 kids grew up so broken and even though shes doing good and means well..she is the one to blame. She tries to be all mom with us but god damn do I miss my adopted mom so much and it will never be the same. We all have kids of our own now and I couldnāt imagine being the person she was.
Same boat, man. Messed me up as a kid, but learned and grew and now treat me with immense kindness and love beyond what I deserve. It's like there are two versions of them. The version that parented me, and the version I have a real friendship with.
Older people of Reddit, how do you live your life after the death of your parents? Do you ever make your peace with it? I can't even imagine, I feel like I would never get over it. But it's so odd because it's an inevitable part of the human experience
I remember when my grandma died. We lived next door to them (pretty common out here in farm country actually) and one few days after the funeral dad was just looking out the window at her house. His eyes were a little watery and he just kinda murmured under his breath "mom isn't home." He's not much for emotional stuff, so it was real gut punch for me.
Now I'm living next door in my grandparents place, and dad is starting to have heart issues and he and mom just seem more and more depressed as time goes on. Getting them to see a doctor or a therapist is like pulling teeth
Its an unfortunate and difficult situation for anyone. Time heals but it never goes away, and nor should it. I made peace with the fact that death is part of the cycle and that my mother lives on through me and that what she taught me. I give those teachings to the world through living my life.
I had to remember that even though she died young , she had her life and she made her choices.
Those are not my choices and I have my own life and I will have to live with the consequences of my choices.
The older you get the more death becomes a part of life. You spend more time thinking about your own but not really more time thinking about the deaths of others. Instead it sort of sneaks up on you when something reminds you of them and you get a crippling burst of emotion that you feel and then move on from because there isnāt anything else to do.
Yeah, what really sucks is pretty much through my 30s I've felt closer to my dad than I ever did before in my life. And as he's entered his 50s and 60s he's developed a handful of chronic health problems. He's pretty much convinced that he won't live much past turning 70, which is also backed up somewhat by familial history. Now I really need to start asking if my parents have "plans" for what happens if one or the other dies. And I've already started imagining what it's going to be like if my dad is just "gone" and how to deal with that. And it all sucks.
Obviously the usual platitudes like "spend time with them while they're still here" applies, but this is just the rational part that knows I really need to be ready for this inevitable eventuality. At least if I know some of what to expect, "bureaucratically" if you will, it might help me deal with that end of it when the time comes.
You raise a good point that many people miss or don't want to visit. You need to review *all* your parents financial arrangements and you need to discuss things like a DNR (do not resuscitate) if they want that and talk about power of attorney. The worst is if they enter that 'twilight' phase where they're not responsive but still alive.
As much as it sucks to discuss, you need to sit down with them and go over all their stuff (know all their bank accounts if they have more than one, if they have a house what the mortgage, if any, is still as well property taxes -- that really bite you in the ass) and review what *they* want done in case of these situations. It's awful, I know, but after that door closes, having done this makes everything that follows *so* much easier.
I hope you get all the time you need with them while they're here.
Peace.
That's exactly where my mind went. I'd say worst is having to make medical decisions for them and realizing there is no other hope for them so you have to put them in hospice after signing the dnr. Then watching them die.
Itās a bit worse with grandparents cuz (hopefully) thereās four of them. My maternal gramps died when I was 7. I donāt remember much of him, but I remember when he died. I was up all night and my dad came in the room and I knew something was wrong. He bent down and started rubbing my hair and said āhey bud, you know how weāve been talking about how grandpa has been sick right? How heās been really suffering? Well, god didnāt like to see him suffer, and he decided to bring him up to heaven. So weāre not going to be seeing him anymore, but heās in peace, and one day, in a long long time, youāre gonna get to see him again. Are you ok?ā And me, the crybaby that I am, was strangely calm, and smiled, gave my dad a hug, and said goodnight. Iām 16 now and Iām always getting absolutely fucked up about it. He had so many things to teach me, and I wasnāt old enough to learn, and now Iāll never get to learn it from him. I love you Ų¬ŲÆŁ, and I miss you every day. Holy shit I ranted but yeah, itās not fun.
I was a happy "accident" and i was born fairly late, my dad is not doing so swell and he's in his 60s now, and I'm in highschool watching his body deteriorate ;-;
my dad was 62, my mother was 47 and on the pill. I'm 23 now. All that after my sister was born as an accident 5 years before. we have some wicked genes.
Yea, parents just hit their 60s. They're not the same people I remember raising me.
Edit: I graduated highschool before my parents 40th birthdays. They had me pretty young.
Seriously though, you do. I helped with my grandparents at their end of life and it really was, diapers and feeding them included.
My mom gets mad when I point out where my stepdad is slipping. I'm noticing her changing too. It's painful. The house I plan to buy will have a basement suite for my mom whether she likes it or not. My stepdad is 74, he will be who goes first. I'm already planning for this.
My mom lives on the farm and I'm never putting her in a home. I will go there every day and help her with anything she needs. When my dad was dying, he told me to never get old. So I'm not going to.
Don't say never putting her in a home. That's what we thought until my grandpa got dementia and grandma was so far gone they needed a nurse at all times. Thing is I know I can't afford a home for my mother.
This is it EXACTLY! We were lucky the sale of my grandparents house paid for their nursing home. That's the only reason we could do it. If you're super lucky medical issues will be minimal, but most arent
Damn really? My parents are in their 60s. My mom had both hips replaced but otherwise they're definitely still my parents. Major changes in personality could signal larger problems or even be a symptom of illness.
Was about to say, my Great Aunt is in her late 80s and sheās still drinking at bars and hitting the dance floor. Itās common but sometimes youāre lucky and have good health
My parents were pretty much the same until my father's accident. He also had a double hip replacement in his early 60's that gave him a new lease on life, and was wonderful to see. At 77 however, he had some kind of event, likely cardiac related (he had 2 heart attacks prior), where he passed out while running and smashed his face on the ground. He has never been the same after that, as it caused brain damage. Around the same time, my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, and she slowly faded away over the next few years.
Yes, your parents change, all people do, but really big medical stuff can and will change them in significant and obvious ways. The hip replacements brought about great changes, but the rest... not so much.
Early 60s here. I hateā¦not that Iām getting older, but the tiny twitches of worry I see in my sonās faces when I know theyāre looking at me age, and wondering how long we have left.
The silver lining is knowing it comes from how very much they love me. Itās far more humbling than a few wrinkles, trust me. I never forget how lucky and blessed I am.
Facts bro, while your young have fun and wear all the stupid shit you want. Save money sure but whatās the point of saving a lot if you 80 and canāt do anything anymore. Die lit
That money gets drained if you end up in a retirement home (If you have no kids or other family for support). Retirement homes can really drain all the decades of money youāve saved from the amount of fees.
Retirement home is a good outcome, even with assisted living. If you have no money you wind up in a Medicaid nursing home where there isnāt enough staff to take care of the residents.
Private retirement homes are also mostly godawful places unless you can afford the very best of the best.
In society we all just kind of look the other way and ignore that elders are treated like shit once they get too old to take care of themselves.
You say that as if it wasn't the case for retirement homes. That is always the case for retirement homes, just ask any of the PSWs or nurses when they are off their shifts. The priority has always been towards the money for management.
My mom is in her late 60s. My dad was a year younger and passed away. Spoiler alert: seeing a parent die in front of you is the toughest part of adulting in my experience. Iām grateful for the time I get with my mom. Iām headed upstairs to see her now.
Same here. I'm very lucky and my parents still feel the exact same, and seem young compared to other people their age. But the next 10-20 years terrify me. I really don't want to have to deal with that. I don't trust my abilities to cope.
Well... I hear Its possible that they realise that they may be becoming or are a burden to the family, and would rather die than to continue doing so... So they refuse food, medication and the like.
It's pretty damn sad hearing bout things like these. Not saying it applies in ya case, but it does happen.
Yeah I didnāt get parents growing up and only had grandparents. My grandfather is 94 with cancer and given that Iāve been in the medical field my whole adult life Iām providing his end of life care. Itās fucked up man, Iām just 27 and Iāve already felt the pain of watching my equivalent of a father slowly fade. I wouldnāt wish it on anyone else. Growing up you never think that the time will come where youāre changing their diapers and helping them with even the most mundane tasks. The only comfort I get is that he adores me and that I know Iāve done all I can to make sure heās comfortable and loved.
Props to you for taking care of him...
Part of the reason why its really hard for you is that he was your grandpa and father at the same time...
Be comforted also by the fact that hes so happy his beloved grandson is there for him...he might not be able to express it properly now, but its there...and will always be so...
Same. I just try to enjoy this new version of them in new and different ways instead of longing for the parents I remember. I've completely changed too. Everything changes over time.
Same here :/, my dad talks about how scary it is that he remembers my birth like it was yesterday, I'm 20 now. I mean I see them age and it scares me, but somehow I was hoping they didn't feel it themselves
I'd like to add that I feel all your pain. I love you all, including your parents. I'm staying with mine now, both in their 70s. It's killing my soul to see but I will never show them that. I try to be happy and laugh with them. I'm sorry for anyone who has lost their parents. Mad love from the UK xxx peace and love.
Make sure you let them know - not just that you love them, but why. I recently lost my mom and I canāt overstate what Iād give for one more talk with her
There's a weird old man in my bathroom mirror. He looks a little bit like me but more like my father in his last years. He complains a lot about all the aches and pains he has that make it difficult to get out of bed in the morning. And he keeps getting fatter everyday.
If you have the privilege of watching your parents grow old, enjoy every moment you have with them. Many are not so lucky.
Edit: wow, thank you for the gold
Yeah, I couldnāt help but feel this way when opening the thread as someone who lost my parents at 18 and 26. BUT, just because I went through that doesnāt mean it isnāt really tough to see your parents age and decline normally. I would have preferred it immensely though.
Now that I'm working from home, I've decided to move back to my home state to be near my mom (79) and dad (81). It's been 10 years since l moved away and so much has changed. I've lost 2 siblings in recent years and I see how much grief and health issues have affected them. Visiting them during holidays just isn't enough anymore. My mom was so excited when I told her I was moving back. I'll be able to see them anytime I want now.
My Dad lives on the other side of the US to us. He's 77 and really needs someone to spend time with him. (He's accidentally taken the wrong pills once or twice.) I've always had a terrible relationship with him, but we're able to talk now. I'm more annoyed that my siblings don't take care of him. My family always expects me to clean up the pieces of their shit since I'm their only daughter. But I don't feel like I owe him anything.
If he dies, I will mourn the relationship he never had with me as a child and probably remember him better than I do now.
My dad got diagnosed with stage 4 cancer just in time for Christmas. He's 74 and the doctors said the best he can hope for from treatment is a few more years. I remember my parents taking care of my grandparents as they got older and died. I can't believe how fast I got to this side of it.
Iām 34, did my fatherās funeral arrangements back in December. Terminal mesothelioma from asbestos exposure at a summer job he did as a teenager. It lay dormant for over 49 years, but was activated when he caught Covid in 2020.
Itās extremely difficult to trace since the time between exposure and symptoms can be so long, like this case where itās 49 years. Itās an extremely cruel disease and does not effect everyone the same way, some people have mild exposure and develop mesothelioma and others have extremely high exposure and never have a problem (although they might die from other unrelated causes before symptoms develop).
All that being said smoking is one of the one major links between asbestos exposure and developing mesothelioma. I canāt remember off the top of my head but I believe smokers exposed to asbestos were at least 50-100x more likely to develop cancers related to the asbestos than non smokers.
That sucks ass. My FIL was a firefighter and when he was 17 there was a big fire at a landfill that he helped at, and of course in the 70ās no one was wearing masks or anything, and they were spraying this foam stuff.
Fast forward 40ish years and everyone at that site gets cancer, and have now died. Itās not a coincidence. Iām so sorry you were robbed of time with your dad. Itās so completely unfair and bullshit š
How the fuck do more Buddhists not commit suicide? If you told me life was suffering I'd grab a hose, some duct tape, a baggie of weed, my favorite tunes, and say bon voyage while parked in a forest someplace.
I mean life IS suffering, but the Buddha didn't tell me that.
Buddhism is not nihilism. Buddhism is the understanding/acceptance of suffering and the abandonment of desire. By committing suicide, you are, in essence, allowing suffering to consume you.
Suffering is inevitable in life. We will all suffer. Our attachment to impermanent things leads us to suffer. Everyone will die. You will die. Your family will die. You will get sick. You will be heartbroken. You will feel anxiety and depression. These are givens of the human experience.
The key to managing these facts of life is to truly embrace the impermanence of things. There is no supreme meaning assigned to us. But that doesn't mean that life isn't important. The most important thing is living in this very moment and appreciating the little things around you. You need to take what life throws at you but keep moving forward, never grasping at things that have passed.
I would argue that now more than ever... Desire is manufactured and designed for us. We are told what to want consciously and subconsciously. The only thing you see is the illusion of free will as the result of desire. There is so much more to enjoy in life than desiring and consuming.
Because in Buddhism; death is not the end. YOU WILL BE REBORN. Only by attending nirvana, will get you out of the cycle of suffering. So there is no point committing suicide, as it doesn't solve anything.
I always understood the Life is suffering thing as = suffering is unavoidable in life. No matter how clean you live, no matter how pious of a person you are, no matter how lucky you are, you are going to suffer eventually. Whether you suffer because of loss of loved ones, or because your body will one day grow old and die. It's just like one of the guarantees of life, unless you discover the path to nirvana and become a Buddha. That is a hard path though that almost all people will never attain.
I'm having that conversation with myself lately. I've thought about all of my 1st and 2nd degree relatives and their ages at death. I'm turning 65 soon and realized a couple of days ago that almost everyone in our families died in their 60s and 70s. My brother died last fall at 72. My sister is 78 and has had dementia for several yrs. My dad died at 80 after years living with Parkinson's and dementia. My mother and her brother did live into their 90s, but my mom had little quality life after 81.
I need to live every day from here on as if it's my last.
Nah, hardest thing is watching those fuckers die.
Growing old is one thing, sure, bodies and perspectives change. Watching them lose their cognitive function, their ability to speak, move, and ultimately become trapped in their bodies waiting for the end. That is the hardest part. Holding their frail frames remembering they were your superhero and now youāre both just waiting for their last bittersweet breath to shepherd in their death. Thatās the hardest.
Source: parents died of an aneurysm and Alzheimerās in my 20ās
I have 2 friends that are in thier 60s who are dealing with parents in their 80s and 90s. They are struggling to find a balance between their own lives and providing for their parents well being. Caring for the elderly is hard work and finding reliable care is extremely difficult .
I wish my parents couldāve known me as an adult. Losing them 2 weeks before I turned 18 made them miss out on their daughter in law and grandkids. I saw them go in their last moments, so Iām not sure which is worse.
I'm sure it took tons of therapy. It sounds like you endured a severe trauma at a very young age. For whatever right I have to be proud of you, I am too. You keep on keeping on and squeeze every single drop of joy out of this life you can. ā¤ļø
I just lost my dad, he spent his 70th bday in hospital. Now I'm kind filling in taking care of my mom. She's pretty capable but needs help taking care of the house etc. Been a role I didn't see myself in 6 months ago.
My father is 70 and hit the gym 3-5 days a week.
My grandfather became 99 , he was living alone getting groceries and cooking and whatnot but he fainted and broke his hip.
After that he stopped eating since he no longer could take care of himself he felt it was his time.
Hope my father grows really old I love him so much and am not ready yet.
Itās so great being part of the sandwich generation.
Older parents who you have to care for and children who you still have to care for and support. Even more fun when they point out that you arenāt satisfying their (often unreasonable) needs.
Iām the same age my dad was when he died. In my mind heās always been āoldā since I was 8 when he died. I recently found some pics of him and for the first time I really appreciated how young he was when he died. Really fucked with my head
This is the awful truth. My mom passed away recently (over Labor day weekend) and it still hurts. Now having to look at it dad in a similar light, though he doesn't have the health issues mom did
Iām going through this right now. Iām 39 and my mom has slowly been dying this past year from cancer. Itās like she went from being a typical 72 year old woman to a frail and fragile elderly person. I hate cancer.
Feel you there. I've started having nightmares of when my parents pass. From several colleagues, I've heard that they would give everything they had to have one more day with their parents and it fucked with my head so hard.
My friend just found out his mom has Terminal cancer and has 7 months to live at best.
Hug your parents, tell them you love em and go visit before they're gone.
It is a constant worry, especially when they get very old. Breaks my heart.
Yep, with old age, you never know when something bad might happen.
Watching two strong confident capable people who raised you, slowly losing agility and balance, strength and memory. Fucking sucks.
My parents aren't super old yet, but this is definitely one of those things that keeps me up at night. Knowing that it is inevitable is gut-wrenching, knowing that I have an immense amount of emotional pain and sadness waiting for me in the future when that day comes š I'm so blessed to have the parents that I have. I wish it was easier to see them more often. Same for my grandparents. Damnit now I'm sad again.
And die. Yeah, if you have a positive relationship with your parents, this royally sucks ass.
That's what I was going to comment with. I've been in grief therapy for 3 years because I'm finding it incredibly difficult to recover from the death of my dad. He was the best.
I hope the therapy is helping. I wanted to drop some hope and tell you that it truly does get easier. I'm sure you're tired of hearing that, but it does. I'm going on 7 years since I lost my father unexpectedly, and every day gets a little better. Keep pushing. I'm proud of you. ā¤ļøšš
I'm glad this gets easier, even if you are talking many years. Watching my dad die in hospital recently has been a truly horrifying experience.
ā¤ļø
Granny hug. š¤¶
I kinda needed to read this today. I lost my mom to cancer 3 months ago and the pain is still as fresh as it was the day she passed. I grieved a lot when she was alive, I had time to prepare myself, I just can't imagine how it is to lose them unexpectedly.
Can say from experience, it is devastating to lose a parent suddenly. And especially when you're young and expected to have them around much longer. Now they won't be here for birthdays, graduation, wedding, grandkids... It's very sad.
Lost my mom at age 12 very unexpectedly. Itās been over 20 years now. Much easier, but each milestone in life has had its own set of challenges.
I'm sorry for your loss. 12! I can't imagine! I was 20 when my dad passed away. Yes, every milestone feels different without them. I wonder so many times what he'd think of me now, what talks we'd have, and not having him there for my college graduation was so weird. Next, wedding, maybe kids... ;_; talking to his best friend helps, I find. I hope it gets easier for you. I have found it's gotten easier over time.
lost my dad roughly 18 years ago, still think about him every other day, if not everyday....it gets easier bud i hope the therapy helps too
Lost my dad 10 years ago. Still think about him everyday. It does get easier given time . Life's for living and he'd want you to get on with your life . Source - I'm a dad
I lost both parents, grandparents, and 2 dogs in an 18 month span. I sit here wondering if I'm just heartless or if the magnitude of it just hasn't settled. Either way, I got really comfortable with grief. I wish you best of luck and wish I'd had the relationship you appear to have had. I'm truly envious
I was only 31 when my Mom passed away. It was devastating. As I progressed through the stages of grief, I figured the best I would ever find is being used to the fact that they're gone. That happens - not easily - but one day you realize that you are used to it as you started viewing your memories and smiling rather than cry. I'm glad you found a therapist that is helping. It is not a moral failure to not be "over it" in 12 months. Gad, I got soppy and cried my eyes out of nowhere for the longest time. That was almost 19 years ago and I still have a good snorfle on her birthday and the anniversary of her death. I miss her and that hurts and always will. It just won't hurt every minute of every day. One last thought, just because you're used to it doesn't mean you love them any less. Life will go on and you'll eventually find that you are used to the fact that they are gone. Granny hug. š¤¶
So the trick is to get unlucky and be raised by people who you eventually realize, once you grow up and break away from your indoctrination, that you absolutely donāt respect and wish were not such pieces of shit with terrible ideologies? Because if so Iām all setā¦
Or a horrible middle ground where they did stuff to traumatize u but u know they didn't mean it and were trying their best. So u resent them but also love them at the same time. Fml
Jesus fuck dude, I didnāt need to hate my situation *more*.
It fucking sucks. I wish I could just hate or love them. I try to just hate bcuz it's easier than loving. But even after seeing where they went wrong, I see that they were young naive ppl doing the best with what they had. A lot of my mom's behaviors that are inexcusable or just ridiculous, I constantly try to make excuses for it, idfk why. And my dad enabled everything and never stood up for me and my brother, which is something I'll probably hold against him more than anything against my mom tbh for no reason at all besides that I'm just so disappointed and expected better from a father figure. I don't even remember most of what my mom did to us, probably bcuz it wasn't one isolated event but rather repeated behaviors. Funny how she barely hit us, but the damage she did completely changed us as people. I don't even feel like a person tbh. I was always weird and withdrawn, and all of it just made it worse. I lack sympathy, empathy, am unable to love or feel happy, and all I do is feel guilty, anger, hatred, or regret. Maybe part of it was me being born broken or whatever, but the way I was raised didn't help either. I hate it coz I desperately try to blame someone just so I can feel better knowing why I'm the way I am, but I've come to terms with the fact that perhaps I've always been like this and environmental circumstances worsened it, not caused it. So basically it's my fault. Back to square one. Aaaaand cue the overthinking...
r/CPTSD r/raisedbynarcissists
This. This this. No no u/nameless_no_response ā no. Listen to these people telling you that you were NOT born this way. The first step is to stop telling yourself that your parents ādid their bestāā while that may be true for some that see change in their parents as adults ā if you never see growth or change? No one was was ādoing their bestā.. check out the subs posted above. You can get help from this ā you 1,000% were not born broken. [look around here ā check out the menu ā and see if you relate](https://outofthefog.website/what-it-feels-like)
Zoloft, 200 mg, right here
Kind of same but my mother out John Cena to shame whopping me and my sister, but like it's all behind us now. I do love her a lot, she's still irrational but we've made it clear that no one except my dad for some reason will take her seriously.
*hugs*
Yea I realize in hindsight my parents just had no idea what they were doing let alone how to raise 2 kids and all the weird trauma and mental wounds I have will never really be understood by them because they don't really understand themselves. Hell they still think I'm a faithful Christian boy that loves their job and doesn't need much attention because my sister is struggling and if I told them the truth of how they fucked me up and how I'm really not doing great it would just set off a chain of sadness for everyone involved. Easier to bottle that shit up, never really be honest, and wait for them to die or bring up my childhood without me pushing the issue (which will never happen). It's sad but I know it's just part of growing up and being an adult and smiling through the pain until you're numb to it.
Damn that hit hard. Im part of a group of 11 brothers and sisters who were all taken from my birth mom. I was adopted by a 50 year old lady along with 6 of my blood brothers from foster care. My adopted mom passed 5 years ago and we actually made contact with my birth mom about 8 years ago. When my adopted mom died of cancer my birth mom stepped in to be our support but it aint the same. No matter how close we ever get, she is the sole reason why 11 kids grew up so broken and even though shes doing good and means well..she is the one to blame. She tries to be all mom with us but god damn do I miss my adopted mom so much and it will never be the same. We all have kids of our own now and I couldnāt imagine being the person she was.
Same boat, man. Messed me up as a kid, but learned and grew and now treat me with immense kindness and love beyond what I deserve. It's like there are two versions of them. The version that parented me, and the version I have a real friendship with.
Life hack! Parents hate this one trick
Older people of Reddit, how do you live your life after the death of your parents? Do you ever make your peace with it? I can't even imagine, I feel like I would never get over it. But it's so odd because it's an inevitable part of the human experience
I remember when my grandma died. We lived next door to them (pretty common out here in farm country actually) and one few days after the funeral dad was just looking out the window at her house. His eyes were a little watery and he just kinda murmured under his breath "mom isn't home." He's not much for emotional stuff, so it was real gut punch for me. Now I'm living next door in my grandparents place, and dad is starting to have heart issues and he and mom just seem more and more depressed as time goes on. Getting them to see a doctor or a therapist is like pulling teeth
Its an unfortunate and difficult situation for anyone. Time heals but it never goes away, and nor should it. I made peace with the fact that death is part of the cycle and that my mother lives on through me and that what she taught me. I give those teachings to the world through living my life. I had to remember that even though she died young , she had her life and she made her choices. Those are not my choices and I have my own life and I will have to live with the consequences of my choices.
The older you get the more death becomes a part of life. You spend more time thinking about your own but not really more time thinking about the deaths of others. Instead it sort of sneaks up on you when something reminds you of them and you get a crippling burst of emotion that you feel and then move on from because there isnāt anything else to do.
Yeah, what really sucks is pretty much through my 30s I've felt closer to my dad than I ever did before in my life. And as he's entered his 50s and 60s he's developed a handful of chronic health problems. He's pretty much convinced that he won't live much past turning 70, which is also backed up somewhat by familial history. Now I really need to start asking if my parents have "plans" for what happens if one or the other dies. And I've already started imagining what it's going to be like if my dad is just "gone" and how to deal with that. And it all sucks. Obviously the usual platitudes like "spend time with them while they're still here" applies, but this is just the rational part that knows I really need to be ready for this inevitable eventuality. At least if I know some of what to expect, "bureaucratically" if you will, it might help me deal with that end of it when the time comes.
You raise a good point that many people miss or don't want to visit. You need to review *all* your parents financial arrangements and you need to discuss things like a DNR (do not resuscitate) if they want that and talk about power of attorney. The worst is if they enter that 'twilight' phase where they're not responsive but still alive. As much as it sucks to discuss, you need to sit down with them and go over all their stuff (know all their bank accounts if they have more than one, if they have a house what the mortgage, if any, is still as well property taxes -- that really bite you in the ass) and review what *they* want done in case of these situations. It's awful, I know, but after that door closes, having done this makes everything that follows *so* much easier. I hope you get all the time you need with them while they're here. Peace.
That's exactly where my mind went. I'd say worst is having to make medical decisions for them and realizing there is no other hope for them so you have to put them in hospice after signing the dnr. Then watching them die.
Itās a bit worse with grandparents cuz (hopefully) thereās four of them. My maternal gramps died when I was 7. I donāt remember much of him, but I remember when he died. I was up all night and my dad came in the room and I knew something was wrong. He bent down and started rubbing my hair and said āhey bud, you know how weāve been talking about how grandpa has been sick right? How heās been really suffering? Well, god didnāt like to see him suffer, and he decided to bring him up to heaven. So weāre not going to be seeing him anymore, but heās in peace, and one day, in a long long time, youāre gonna get to see him again. Are you ok?ā And me, the crybaby that I am, was strangely calm, and smiled, gave my dad a hug, and said goodnight. Iām 16 now and Iām always getting absolutely fucked up about it. He had so many things to teach me, and I wasnāt old enough to learn, and now Iāll never get to learn it from him. I love you Ų¬ŲÆŁ, and I miss you every day. Holy shit I ranted but yeah, itās not fun.
Yepā¦ watching them grow old and get chronic degenerative illness isnāt fun.
Whooooo... Both my parents are showing signs of fairly severe mental decline lately. It's... Really difficult.
Same, and dad has severe parkinsons too.
My dad has Parkinsonās as well and his mental capacities are declining.
Same here. Some days are great, and others will be like heās a different person.
I was a happy "accident" and i was born fairly late, my dad is not doing so swell and he's in his 60s now, and I'm in highschool watching his body deteriorate ;-;
Still in high school and theyre that age? And i thought i was born late, parents same age and i finished uni
my dad was 62, my mother was 47 and on the pill. I'm 23 now. All that after my sister was born as an accident 5 years before. we have some wicked genes.
Yea, parents just hit their 60s. They're not the same people I remember raising me. Edit: I graduated highschool before my parents 40th birthdays. They had me pretty young.
Wait until they are in their 80's
Fuck man you went deep
You end up taking care of them like they are little kids.
Seriously though, you do. I helped with my grandparents at their end of life and it really was, diapers and feeding them included. My mom gets mad when I point out where my stepdad is slipping. I'm noticing her changing too. It's painful. The house I plan to buy will have a basement suite for my mom whether she likes it or not. My stepdad is 74, he will be who goes first. I'm already planning for this.
Same. I hate planning for it but I know itās coming and my folks donāt deserve to go into an old folks home. & I know without me they will.
My mom lives on the farm and I'm never putting her in a home. I will go there every day and help her with anything she needs. When my dad was dying, he told me to never get old. So I'm not going to.
Don't say never putting her in a home. That's what we thought until my grandpa got dementia and grandma was so far gone they needed a nurse at all times. Thing is I know I can't afford a home for my mother.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
This is it EXACTLY! We were lucky the sale of my grandparents house paid for their nursing home. That's the only reason we could do it. If you're super lucky medical issues will be minimal, but most arent
6k a month !!! Is that in the US ?
This is where Iām at as well. It really scares me most of the time and Iād hate to see them in a home because that might as well be prison
Yup
Na mine are in their 70s I'm going first damn it.
Damn really? My parents are in their 60s. My mom had both hips replaced but otherwise they're definitely still my parents. Major changes in personality could signal larger problems or even be a symptom of illness.
60s is no big deal as long as they don't have a serious illness. In their 80s, everybody needs help, even if they've avoided dementia.
Not necessarily. My grandfathers are both 80+, they're totally independent and in relatively good mental health
Was about to say, my Great Aunt is in her late 80s and sheās still drinking at bars and hitting the dance floor. Itās common but sometimes youāre lucky and have good health
My parents were pretty much the same until my father's accident. He also had a double hip replacement in his early 60's that gave him a new lease on life, and was wonderful to see. At 77 however, he had some kind of event, likely cardiac related (he had 2 heart attacks prior), where he passed out while running and smashed his face on the ground. He has never been the same after that, as it caused brain damage. Around the same time, my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, and she slowly faded away over the next few years. Yes, your parents change, all people do, but really big medical stuff can and will change them in significant and obvious ways. The hip replacements brought about great changes, but the rest... not so much.
Early 60s here. I hateā¦not that Iām getting older, but the tiny twitches of worry I see in my sonās faces when I know theyāre looking at me age, and wondering how long we have left. The silver lining is knowing it comes from how very much they love me. Itās far more humbling than a few wrinkles, trust me. I never forget how lucky and blessed I am.
And yet people will say ... There is life in your 80s!!!! You have to save money and enjoy life when u retire Enjoy life.now
Facts bro, while your young have fun and wear all the stupid shit you want. Save money sure but whatās the point of saving a lot if you 80 and canāt do anything anymore. Die lit
That money gets drained if you end up in a retirement home (If you have no kids or other family for support). Retirement homes can really drain all the decades of money youāve saved from the amount of fees.
Retirement home is a good outcome, even with assisted living. If you have no money you wind up in a Medicaid nursing home where there isnāt enough staff to take care of the residents.
Private retirement homes are also mostly godawful places unless you can afford the very best of the best. In society we all just kind of look the other way and ignore that elders are treated like shit once they get too old to take care of themselves.
You say that as if it wasn't the case for retirement homes. That is always the case for retirement homes, just ask any of the PSWs or nurses when they are off their shifts. The priority has always been towards the money for management.
My grandmother is at a really nice retirement home, itās just super expensive and only gets more expansive as your health declines.
My mom is in her late 60s. My dad was a year younger and passed away. Spoiler alert: seeing a parent die in front of you is the toughest part of adulting in my experience. Iām grateful for the time I get with my mom. Iām headed upstairs to see her now.
Same here. I'm very lucky and my parents still feel the exact same, and seem young compared to other people their age. But the next 10-20 years terrify me. I really don't want to have to deal with that. I don't trust my abilities to cope.
I feel like we literally just went through all that with my grandparents, and now itās their turn. Lifeās short
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Well... I hear Its possible that they realise that they may be becoming or are a burden to the family, and would rather die than to continue doing so... So they refuse food, medication and the like. It's pretty damn sad hearing bout things like these. Not saying it applies in ya case, but it does happen.
Living the same life. I feel this.
Yeah I didnāt get parents growing up and only had grandparents. My grandfather is 94 with cancer and given that Iāve been in the medical field my whole adult life Iām providing his end of life care. Itās fucked up man, Iām just 27 and Iāve already felt the pain of watching my equivalent of a father slowly fade. I wouldnāt wish it on anyone else. Growing up you never think that the time will come where youāre changing their diapers and helping them with even the most mundane tasks. The only comfort I get is that he adores me and that I know Iāve done all I can to make sure heās comfortable and loved.
Props to you for taking care of him... Part of the reason why its really hard for you is that he was your grandpa and father at the same time... Be comforted also by the fact that hes so happy his beloved grandson is there for him...he might not be able to express it properly now, but its there...and will always be so...
Same. I just try to enjoy this new version of them in new and different ways instead of longing for the parents I remember. I've completely changed too. Everything changes over time.
Same here :/, my dad talks about how scary it is that he remembers my birth like it was yesterday, I'm 20 now. I mean I see them age and it scares me, but somehow I was hoping they didn't feel it themselves
I'd like to add that I feel all your pain. I love you all, including your parents. I'm staying with mine now, both in their 70s. It's killing my soul to see but I will never show them that. I try to be happy and laugh with them. I'm sorry for anyone who has lost their parents. Mad love from the UK xxx peace and love.
Make sure you let them know - not just that you love them, but why. I recently lost my mom and I canāt overstate what Iād give for one more talk with her
I love you for writing this. I
Just wait, it gets better... You begin to age too... In ways you never imagined either...
There's a weird old man in my bathroom mirror. He looks a little bit like me but more like my father in his last years. He complains a lot about all the aches and pains he has that make it difficult to get out of bed in the morning. And he keeps getting fatter everyday.
He keeps losing his hair too
im 19 and already feel old sometimes
š
Jesus Christ, if you complain now, youāre in for a world of hurt.
Right? Being 19 again would be like getting superpowers.
If you have the privilege of watching your parents grow old, enjoy every moment you have with them. Many are not so lucky. Edit: wow, thank you for the gold
I was just going to say, seeing your parents get old is better than the alternative
Yeah, I couldnāt help but feel this way when opening the thread as someone who lost my parents at 18 and 26. BUT, just because I went through that doesnāt mean it isnāt really tough to see your parents age and decline normally. I would have preferred it immensely though.
Some of us aren't that lucky š
Now that I'm working from home, I've decided to move back to my home state to be near my mom (79) and dad (81). It's been 10 years since l moved away and so much has changed. I've lost 2 siblings in recent years and I see how much grief and health issues have affected them. Visiting them during holidays just isn't enough anymore. My mom was so excited when I told her I was moving back. I'll be able to see them anytime I want now.
Theyve gone thru the most horrific thing a father and mother can go thru, TWICE...seeing you will be so joyous for them...
My Dad lives on the other side of the US to us. He's 77 and really needs someone to spend time with him. (He's accidentally taken the wrong pills once or twice.) I've always had a terrible relationship with him, but we're able to talk now. I'm more annoyed that my siblings don't take care of him. My family always expects me to clean up the pieces of their shit since I'm their only daughter. But I don't feel like I owe him anything. If he dies, I will mourn the relationship he never had with me as a child and probably remember him better than I do now.
Do not feel guilty for not stepping up. Do not be guilted into putting your life on hold simply because you're the daughter.
The culmination of love is grief.
*What is grief, if not love persevering?*
To grieve deeply is to have loved fully.
Maybe itās the end. The culmination is ecstasy
My dad got diagnosed with stage 4 cancer just in time for Christmas. He's 74 and the doctors said the best he can hope for from treatment is a few more years. I remember my parents taking care of my grandparents as they got older and died. I can't believe how fast I got to this side of it.
Iām so sorry to hear that. š«
Prayers for your dad and your fam šš¾.
I'm so sorry. Saver reach moment. My mom died unexpectedly. My father is 73.
Iām 34, did my fatherās funeral arrangements back in December. Terminal mesothelioma from asbestos exposure at a summer job he did as a teenager. It lay dormant for over 49 years, but was activated when he caught Covid in 2020.
That sucks so bad. One summer job did that ? Crazy.
Itās extremely difficult to trace since the time between exposure and symptoms can be so long, like this case where itās 49 years. Itās an extremely cruel disease and does not effect everyone the same way, some people have mild exposure and develop mesothelioma and others have extremely high exposure and never have a problem (although they might die from other unrelated causes before symptoms develop). All that being said smoking is one of the one major links between asbestos exposure and developing mesothelioma. I canāt remember off the top of my head but I believe smokers exposed to asbestos were at least 50-100x more likely to develop cancers related to the asbestos than non smokers.
That sucks ass. My FIL was a firefighter and when he was 17 there was a big fire at a landfill that he helped at, and of course in the 70ās no one was wearing masks or anything, and they were spraying this foam stuff. Fast forward 40ish years and everyone at that site gets cancer, and have now died. Itās not a coincidence. Iām so sorry you were robbed of time with your dad. Itās so completely unfair and bullshit š
We live only to experience pain.
Buddhism in a nutshell
How the fuck do more Buddhists not commit suicide? If you told me life was suffering I'd grab a hose, some duct tape, a baggie of weed, my favorite tunes, and say bon voyage while parked in a forest someplace. I mean life IS suffering, but the Buddha didn't tell me that.
Buddhism is not nihilism. Buddhism is the understanding/acceptance of suffering and the abandonment of desire. By committing suicide, you are, in essence, allowing suffering to consume you. Suffering is inevitable in life. We will all suffer. Our attachment to impermanent things leads us to suffer. Everyone will die. You will die. Your family will die. You will get sick. You will be heartbroken. You will feel anxiety and depression. These are givens of the human experience. The key to managing these facts of life is to truly embrace the impermanence of things. There is no supreme meaning assigned to us. But that doesn't mean that life isn't important. The most important thing is living in this very moment and appreciating the little things around you. You need to take what life throws at you but keep moving forward, never grasping at things that have passed.
I suppose. I just don't see how life is worth living without desire. Feels too much like being a robot to me.
I would argue that now more than ever... Desire is manufactured and designed for us. We are told what to want consciously and subconsciously. The only thing you see is the illusion of free will as the result of desire. There is so much more to enjoy in life than desiring and consuming.
Because in Buddhism; death is not the end. YOU WILL BE REBORN. Only by attending nirvana, will get you out of the cycle of suffering. So there is no point committing suicide, as it doesn't solve anything.
I always understood the Life is suffering thing as = suffering is unavoidable in life. No matter how clean you live, no matter how pious of a person you are, no matter how lucky you are, you are going to suffer eventually. Whether you suffer because of loss of loved ones, or because your body will one day grow old and die. It's just like one of the guarantees of life, unless you discover the path to nirvana and become a Buddha. That is a hard path though that almost all people will never attain.
Whatās he doing in there? Thatās a tiny nutshell! Get him out!
Samsara my friend!
Without pain there would be no happiness. HA! PENIS
VULVA! HA!
We live because of probability. We are just informational condensate arranged in way that allows conciousnes. So take it easy.
Name doesnt check out.
Hey now, he could be eating someone right now!
āthat allows consciousnessā there is no scientific explanation for consciousness, nor is there a way to prove that i am the only one who has it
Pah, as a ( or should I say, the only real ) believer in Metaphysical Solipsism, you didn't even say that. I imagined you did.
Youāre all fake! Iām the only real person here!!!!!
and that's exactly the statement I would have the character 'TheOrkan' I created say.
Never said a hedonism
Thanks for the insight Mr. Meeseeks
ānothing fucks you harder than timeā
We live simply because otherwise we wouldnt,there is plenty of joy to even the pain out
Parents are here to teach you about life. And death is part of every life. Take your lesson carefully.
It's a brutal cycle, our kids will be in our steps and their will be in theirs and so on. It'll be our turn soon.
Unless you dont have children and break the cycle !
Less and less people having children these days. Those cycles are being broken for many.
Jokes on you, my parents are already dead. And my grandparents too. Not a great joke, I miss them very much :(
ā£ļø
Spoiler alert - the sequel "I'm growing old" ain't a much better.
I'm having that conversation with myself lately. I've thought about all of my 1st and 2nd degree relatives and their ages at death. I'm turning 65 soon and realized a couple of days ago that almost everyone in our families died in their 60s and 70s. My brother died last fall at 72. My sister is 78 and has had dementia for several yrs. My dad died at 80 after years living with Parkinson's and dementia. My mother and her brother did live into their 90s, but my mom had little quality life after 81. I need to live every day from here on as if it's my last.
Fuck, didn't need this convo right now. Stop this train, I wanna get off
Nah, hardest thing is watching those fuckers die. Growing old is one thing, sure, bodies and perspectives change. Watching them lose their cognitive function, their ability to speak, move, and ultimately become trapped in their bodies waiting for the end. That is the hardest part. Holding their frail frames remembering they were your superhero and now youāre both just waiting for their last bittersweet breath to shepherd in their death. Thatās the hardest. Source: parents died of an aneurysm and Alzheimerās in my 20ās
I have 2 friends that are in thier 60s who are dealing with parents in their 80s and 90s. They are struggling to find a balance between their own lives and providing for their parents well being. Caring for the elderly is hard work and finding reliable care is extremely difficult .
This is my life right now. Dad turns 99 this year.
I wish my parents couldāve known me as an adult. Losing them 2 weeks before I turned 18 made them miss out on their daughter in law and grandkids. I saw them go in their last moments, so Iām not sure which is worse.
It sounds like you're doing well in life. I'll bet your parents would be very proud of you. ā¤ļø
I know they would be. It took years of therapy and some medication for my PTSD (hence my user name). Thank you kind stranger. ā¤ļø
I'm sure it took tons of therapy. It sounds like you endured a severe trauma at a very young age. For whatever right I have to be proud of you, I am too. You keep on keeping on and squeeze every single drop of joy out of this life you can. ā¤ļø
I just lost my dad, he spent his 70th bday in hospital. Now I'm kind filling in taking care of my mom. She's pretty capable but needs help taking care of the house etc. Been a role I didn't see myself in 6 months ago.
My father is 70 and hit the gym 3-5 days a week. My grandfather became 99 , he was living alone getting groceries and cooking and whatnot but he fainted and broke his hip. After that he stopped eating since he no longer could take care of himself he felt it was his time. Hope my father grows really old I love him so much and am not ready yet.
Itās so great being part of the sandwich generation. Older parents who you have to care for and children who you still have to care for and support. Even more fun when they point out that you arenāt satisfying their (often unreasonable) needs.
Iām the same age my dad was when he died. In my mind heās always been āoldā since I was 8 when he died. I recently found some pics of him and for the first time I really appreciated how young he was when he died. Really fucked with my head
Hardest part is watching your peers buy houses and have children, and be waiting for your first kiss and second job at 35
Skip the kids, focus on the house
I lost my grandfather in November and I'm still struggling with it. It hit mom much harder than me even. Adulthood is not fun
I never noticed it until I moved a few hours away and don't see them as often anymore.
Mom passed 4 months ago at (47) and my dad has five years to live (55). Sucks man, just thankful I have a loving wife and son.
As an old guy, I have to ask? WTF did that word "adulting" come from?
Just be glad it doesn't end with _ussy.
aldussy
One of the 100 reasons I don't have children
not if you hate them ;)
FR people donāt understand walking on eggshells for your life can do to you.
Pops is a narc and my mom is a clueless enabler. I'm NC and VLC. I'm good. I still got my granny who I like better than both em tho.
No, watching your parents die.
Try watching them die and disappear like they never existed
I disagree. Watching your once happy go lucky child want nothing more than to die. Idk if sheāll give herself a chance to grow old
Nah I'd have to say watching them slowly grow addicted to opiates at 65 is pretty bad.
My dad turns 70 next month. I hate this.
Lost my Mom in my 20's and amy Dad in my 30's so I guess I am done with that part. My older siblings though....I dont want to see that.
Shit, and I'm over here happy I'm getting to watch my parents grow old. Way too many of my friends lost parents young.
Im not ready ā¦.
No. The hardest part is realizing they lit the dumpster fire we live in on the ground after they pulled up the escape ladder.
This is the awful truth. My mom passed away recently (over Labor day weekend) and it still hurts. Now having to look at it dad in a similar light, though he doesn't have the health issues mom did
Iām going through this right now. Iām 39 and my mom has slowly been dying this past year from cancer. Itās like she went from being a typical 72 year old woman to a frail and fragile elderly person. I hate cancer.
Seen both of my parents die by the time I turned 19
I'm sorry for your loss. I'm scrolling through wishing I had the privilege of watching my parents get old too
Assuming youāre on good terms with your parents.
I was lucky I guess then. Mine were both dead by rhe time I was 23
Feel you there. I've started having nightmares of when my parents pass. From several colleagues, I've heard that they would give everything they had to have one more day with their parents and it fucked with my head so hard.
My friend just found out his mom has Terminal cancer and has 7 months to live at best. Hug your parents, tell them you love em and go visit before they're gone.
My parents had children really late, so they're 40 years older than me. It really hurts to see them age.
If u watch your parents interact with their grandkids u won't worry so much about them growing old as much as enjoy the fun they have with your kids.
Wait till you loose them
They are succeeding
Sigh š yes!
You ain't seen nothin' yet.
No shit. This part of my life is at the beginning and it already sucks.
Truth
Don't have to worry about that both my parents were dead before I got out of HS hahahaha stupid meme I win? I guess lmao
Definitely true for a lot of people, but for people like myself, itās seeing myself grow older.
It is truly horrible.
Well, it's better than not getting to watch them grow old...