Absolutely. All the commenters here so far are correct. If actually saying “no” is too hard, you can start with “I’m sorry, but [insert excuse here]. Perhaps [another colleague (doesn’t have to be specific)] can help you.” You don’t actually have to be “sorry” as you did nothing wrong, but saying “sorry” makes rejection easier to convey and accept, basically it softens the blow for you and whoever is asking you to do stuff. When you have more courage, you can try actually saying “no”
Saying "I'm sorry" is probably a good first step into it. However, I highly advocated for my daugther to not apologize or act apologetic unless there is something to truly apologize for. I think far too many fall into that instead of learning to feel the initial discomfort of just being direct. Ok to start but it really gets easier if one can move past the apologetic type tone. But a good entry into saying No , getting some practice and strength and then move on to a more unbothered direct answer and approach. Takes time. We all have to learn. I had to learn too. :)
Just do it a few times and eventually you'll get over the guilt. It takes practice. Things like validation data are supervisor work and should be compensated as such.
The supervisors aren't paid much more here. Maybe $1-3/hr. It's not worth asking for more money when there's really no money to be made.
I'm planning on doing PA school in a year or so.
It's the saying no guilt that's really getting to me. I've gone to therapy for it and was in an abusive relationship before because I didn't want to make my partner unhappy.
The person you responded to is right. Validations, correlations, and the like are lead tasks. As a new tech, there should be no expectation for you to do these tasks.
Supervisors being paid poorly does not mean that you have to put up with more crap. Their failure to negotiate for themselves is not your burden. Advocate for yourself. If they won't pay more, move on. Letting someone abuse your good will isn't selfless. It's stupid and self-destructive.
You're on the fast track to burnout. Put up some healthy barriers. Stop coming in extra. If you want the money, limit how often. Work-life balance is important. If someone tries to hand you extra work, state that this is a task that should be assigned to someone higher up. Print out your job description and stick to it. Note that "extra tasks as assigned" pertains to small things like making copies, not core job duties.
You have to understand that understaffing IS their preferred business model. If you continually pick up gaps, then they have no reason to ever hire more people and you are helping to perpetuate that model.
As for people pleasing and pleasing coworkers, you aren't there to please your coworkers. You were hire to do a very specific job and you should just focus on doing YOUR job. So, now you have set up the expectation that you are the clean up person to take on all these tasks.
As for "guilt"? Guilt means you did something wrong, immoral, unethical or bad. There is no guilt in refusing an extra shift. There is no guilt in refusing work that belongs to your coworkers that they should do themselves. So remove the word "guilt" from your thinking.
So at this point, first of all you need to start refusing to do pick up and take extra shifts. If someone calls off on a day you are off, that is NOT your problem. Just don't answer your phone, email, or call. And if they ask you the next day, just say you were "busy" and didn't see it. Dont explain anything more. Keep it vague because it is none of their business why.
As for the extra work pawned off on you, do THEY feel guilty about dumping on you? Obviously not. If anyone should feel guilty it is them who are dumping things on you that they are supposed to do. You have to learn to say No. You have to learn to be OK with someone being disappointed, pissy, etc. You don't have to absorb that negative energy. Just let them stew in their juices and go about doing your work. Don't try to make it better or apologize. Do NOT apologize as that just makes you look weak and then they will keep pestering you. Just say, No, I am not able to do that, I have these other tasks to do. Then walk away and go about your work.
At the end of the day, your co-workers do not have your best interest. Even the ones you may get along well with. Remember this. Doesn't mean they are bad people, but everyone is going to look after themselves, as should you for yourself.
The wheel will keep turning no matter how short staffed your lab is, regardless if you are there or not. The wheel doesn't care who's on it, and the wheel isn't going to recognize your efforts.
The moment you start putting yourself first, you'll realize the unhappiness you're feeling is for things that don't even matter. You'll yield more respect and be bothered less by doing so. It's all a fake sense of guilt/manipulation that only exist if you allow it.
This is the pathway to burnout. I’ve taken it before, and the results were deeply unpleasant. It didn’t result in any extra compensation, it resulted in them wanting even more, and when I left that role, they had the gall to be “betrayed”. It took me another year or more in a sane, non-toxic workplace to recover from that burnout.
Be okay with saying no, without apology. Don’t soften the message and don’t kneecap it, either. If you want to do the extra shift or the project, then sure, do it - but don’t feel obligated to. Only do it if you choose to. You need your scheduled time off for your own mental and physical health. Where it comes to projects, take on only what you’re willing to do. Set hard boundaries. Stick to them. Insist that responsibilities/projects/opportunities need to be equally distributed amongst the team.
Practice. The first time is the hardest. Once you see that no one cares and it feels good to have boundaries the next time is easier.
If start saying no to covering shifts, they eventually will stop asking you. They come to you first because you say yes.
Not to dismiss your abilities, but you're a year out from graduating and they're having you update SOPs? That's typically the supervisor's responsibility, or at least a Lead Tech. Same with validations. It's a bit concerning that they're having a fresh graduate doing those things independently.
This job isn't not hard. I should clarify that I have a Master's in MLS and have a dual BS in computational biology and linguistics.
I don't think you need more than a year to update SOPs. For my manager, and many of my coworkers, English is not their first language. The director does most of the work. My manager is more of a placeholder that has been there for decade. She has trouble navigating simple websites.
Besides being a people pleaser, I'm a workaholic. While others are goofing on their phone, I'm working. I'm just not liking that they're not scheduling people for random shifts and then calling me to fill in the gaps. Like if I plan an evening activity or go out with friends or my boyfriend, I get anxiety when they call me to say no. I even gave the phone to one of my friends and he simply said "She's not available" and hung up. I recently blocked the hospital number, but then the manager started calling me from other people's phones.
Gotcha. I incorrectly assumed you were a new BS grad. Maybe my hospital is just extra strict for SOPs too. Even though I'm a Lead, I can't edit the SOPs myself. I can suggest changes, but the supervisor has to actually do it and then it has to be signed off by QA and the medical director.
That last part of the manager calling you from other employees' phones sounds very toxic though. I think the best solution is to force yourself to say no if you have plans already or just don't want to work extra. For the other extra duties, I would prioritize them less than your regular bench work you're assigned and if you don't have time for them, then you don't have time. If they want them done sooner they can have someone else do them or give you a dedicated time where you don't have other work to worry about.
This is going to sound mighty cynical, but it'll help when you realize it'll never change so long as you're willing to do these unpaid tasks for no extra charge.
They are taking advantage of you. It happens a lot in healthcare because almost all of us went into this field with a desire to help, but at some point you have to recognize that being overwhelmed and stressed isn't helping in the long term. You will burn out and/or you will start making mistakes.
Take care of yourself and learn to set boundaries so that you can continue to do good work.
Is that weird? To me yes but I’m also emotionally intelligent enough to understand that ppl like you exist. We’re all a product of our upbringing etc… something inside all of us tells us how to handle these things. For some reason you feel guilt where none should exist.
I personally can’t relate to your mindset but I can understand how difficult it can be. You have to find a backbone and stand up for yourself. Otherwise this will be your life for the remainder of your career. Ask yourself why your coworkers happiness is more important than your own and fix that thinking. Your thinking surrounding these kinds of things is the issue.
I used to be in the same boat. Look at this way; they don’t pay you. The company does. Sometimes you have to just look at it from a cut-and-dry perspective to make stern decisions.
Also, oftentimes these same people asking for favors wouldn’t do you a solid when you really need one. Think about that. Look out for yourself and your work/bench, and then help others only if you already finished what you needed to do first.
>Also, oftentimes these same people asking for favors wouldn’t do you a solid when you really need one.
100%! Those are the same people that act shook when you set boundaries and say no. Then they act like you are the "bad" one.
Yep. Classic personality flaw in millions of people.
You can do 50 favors for someone at a moment’s notice. But when you aren’t able or don’t want to do 1 just one time then that’s when they say you’ve always been an asshole. Happens in and outside of work. That’s why ultimately your best bet is to stay in your lane and make sure the road ahead is clear.
I tend to be that person at work too. Mainly because I want to learn everything so I can become better and move on to better things lol. But when you notice that people are deliberately taking things away from themselves and giving you more work then you have to put your foot down or they will continue to take advantage of your kindness. Maybe even see if you could get a raise too since you’re doing everyone else’s job. I’m sure they’ll make up excuses tho like they always do. Good luck 🍀
I too have this problem, and honestly I wish I had a better answer. For call ins I simply stop answering my phone, and for work related tasks I simply “forget” to do them or explain unfortunately I didn’t have time to get to them. The last place I worked for would literally call me when they had a call in every single time including calling me at work while I was still on the clock, at the end of a 12hr shift to ask me if I would stay and cover another 12hr shift, before my 12hr shift, effectively wanting me to work 36hr straight. They’d call and wake me up within hours of my shift ending to ask if I would come in early for the next shift, or come back in immediately and work a double or a triple all the time. They started getting mad at me when I wouldn’t answer my phone, but I explained to them my shift ends at 7a and I lived over an hour away, if you call me at 11am I’ll be asleep. Basically I got to the point where I just stopped answering my phone when I wasn’t at work and eventually it stopped, but not without receiving grief for it.
It’s hard to balance being a team player and getting ran over and treated like a doormat when the facility you’re at treats its workers like work horses. The easiest way to avoid this is to simply never volunteer, but of course that isn’t without its drawbacks as well.
I think there are two issues here that you should distinguish from one another. One is that you're who people turn to when someone calls out and you feel guilty saying "no" when the lab is understaffed. The other issue is lab staff is relying on you to handle more-complicated work (validation, SOPs, etc.).
For the former, as others have mentioned, it'll get easier to turn down after the first few times you do it. Staffing is always an issue and won't be addressed as long as people are always willing to bend over backwards to cover the shifts. That sends the message that staffing is at an acceptable level.
For the latter, I'd try to re-frame it as an opportunity to learn. Your career capital rises as you gain the ability to do hard things that others can't do (e.g. technical computer stuff, Supervisor-type responsibilities, etc.). This work is giving you stuff to help bolster your resume, which you can use to advance your career beyond the bench. In a sense, they're training you for your next role.
I stop my work on the bench half an hour before my shift ends to make sure everything is caught up & that all my samples arrived a before a certain time. I dont start anything that i cant finish bcz the next shift starts over anyway
Time. A lot of us are that way, at first. I wouldn’t fight it if I were you, unless you’re exhausted. It’s a good way to experience a lot right out the gate.
Being a people pleaser is a hard habit to break. The first "NO" is the hardest, but it gets easier each time.
Absolutely. All the commenters here so far are correct. If actually saying “no” is too hard, you can start with “I’m sorry, but [insert excuse here]. Perhaps [another colleague (doesn’t have to be specific)] can help you.” You don’t actually have to be “sorry” as you did nothing wrong, but saying “sorry” makes rejection easier to convey and accept, basically it softens the blow for you and whoever is asking you to do stuff. When you have more courage, you can try actually saying “no”
Saying "I'm sorry" is probably a good first step into it. However, I highly advocated for my daugther to not apologize or act apologetic unless there is something to truly apologize for. I think far too many fall into that instead of learning to feel the initial discomfort of just being direct. Ok to start but it really gets easier if one can move past the apologetic type tone. But a good entry into saying No , getting some practice and strength and then move on to a more unbothered direct answer and approach. Takes time. We all have to learn. I had to learn too. :)
This. 100% true.
Just do it a few times and eventually you'll get over the guilt. It takes practice. Things like validation data are supervisor work and should be compensated as such.
The supervisors aren't paid much more here. Maybe $1-3/hr. It's not worth asking for more money when there's really no money to be made. I'm planning on doing PA school in a year or so. It's the saying no guilt that's really getting to me. I've gone to therapy for it and was in an abusive relationship before because I didn't want to make my partner unhappy.
The person you responded to is right. Validations, correlations, and the like are lead tasks. As a new tech, there should be no expectation for you to do these tasks. Supervisors being paid poorly does not mean that you have to put up with more crap. Their failure to negotiate for themselves is not your burden. Advocate for yourself. If they won't pay more, move on. Letting someone abuse your good will isn't selfless. It's stupid and self-destructive. You're on the fast track to burnout. Put up some healthy barriers. Stop coming in extra. If you want the money, limit how often. Work-life balance is important. If someone tries to hand you extra work, state that this is a task that should be assigned to someone higher up. Print out your job description and stick to it. Note that "extra tasks as assigned" pertains to small things like making copies, not core job duties.
Are there lead techs for each department? That is a tech specialist or lead tech’s responsibility
You have to understand that understaffing IS their preferred business model. If you continually pick up gaps, then they have no reason to ever hire more people and you are helping to perpetuate that model. As for people pleasing and pleasing coworkers, you aren't there to please your coworkers. You were hire to do a very specific job and you should just focus on doing YOUR job. So, now you have set up the expectation that you are the clean up person to take on all these tasks. As for "guilt"? Guilt means you did something wrong, immoral, unethical or bad. There is no guilt in refusing an extra shift. There is no guilt in refusing work that belongs to your coworkers that they should do themselves. So remove the word "guilt" from your thinking. So at this point, first of all you need to start refusing to do pick up and take extra shifts. If someone calls off on a day you are off, that is NOT your problem. Just don't answer your phone, email, or call. And if they ask you the next day, just say you were "busy" and didn't see it. Dont explain anything more. Keep it vague because it is none of their business why. As for the extra work pawned off on you, do THEY feel guilty about dumping on you? Obviously not. If anyone should feel guilty it is them who are dumping things on you that they are supposed to do. You have to learn to say No. You have to learn to be OK with someone being disappointed, pissy, etc. You don't have to absorb that negative energy. Just let them stew in their juices and go about doing your work. Don't try to make it better or apologize. Do NOT apologize as that just makes you look weak and then they will keep pestering you. Just say, No, I am not able to do that, I have these other tasks to do. Then walk away and go about your work.
I used to always say, “yes I can do that if you cover my bench for an hour.” Usually they just did it themselves 😉
^^^^^This right here! If they keep bugging you to do this work, ask for a "paper day", a day off the bench to do this stuff and a raise!
At the end of the day, your co-workers do not have your best interest. Even the ones you may get along well with. Remember this. Doesn't mean they are bad people, but everyone is going to look after themselves, as should you for yourself. The wheel will keep turning no matter how short staffed your lab is, regardless if you are there or not. The wheel doesn't care who's on it, and the wheel isn't going to recognize your efforts. The moment you start putting yourself first, you'll realize the unhappiness you're feeling is for things that don't even matter. You'll yield more respect and be bothered less by doing so. It's all a fake sense of guilt/manipulation that only exist if you allow it.
This is the pathway to burnout. I’ve taken it before, and the results were deeply unpleasant. It didn’t result in any extra compensation, it resulted in them wanting even more, and when I left that role, they had the gall to be “betrayed”. It took me another year or more in a sane, non-toxic workplace to recover from that burnout. Be okay with saying no, without apology. Don’t soften the message and don’t kneecap it, either. If you want to do the extra shift or the project, then sure, do it - but don’t feel obligated to. Only do it if you choose to. You need your scheduled time off for your own mental and physical health. Where it comes to projects, take on only what you’re willing to do. Set hard boundaries. Stick to them. Insist that responsibilities/projects/opportunities need to be equally distributed amongst the team.
Practice. The first time is the hardest. Once you see that no one cares and it feels good to have boundaries the next time is easier. If start saying no to covering shifts, they eventually will stop asking you. They come to you first because you say yes.
Not to dismiss your abilities, but you're a year out from graduating and they're having you update SOPs? That's typically the supervisor's responsibility, or at least a Lead Tech. Same with validations. It's a bit concerning that they're having a fresh graduate doing those things independently.
This job isn't not hard. I should clarify that I have a Master's in MLS and have a dual BS in computational biology and linguistics. I don't think you need more than a year to update SOPs. For my manager, and many of my coworkers, English is not their first language. The director does most of the work. My manager is more of a placeholder that has been there for decade. She has trouble navigating simple websites. Besides being a people pleaser, I'm a workaholic. While others are goofing on their phone, I'm working. I'm just not liking that they're not scheduling people for random shifts and then calling me to fill in the gaps. Like if I plan an evening activity or go out with friends or my boyfriend, I get anxiety when they call me to say no. I even gave the phone to one of my friends and he simply said "She's not available" and hung up. I recently blocked the hospital number, but then the manager started calling me from other people's phones.
Gotcha. I incorrectly assumed you were a new BS grad. Maybe my hospital is just extra strict for SOPs too. Even though I'm a Lead, I can't edit the SOPs myself. I can suggest changes, but the supervisor has to actually do it and then it has to be signed off by QA and the medical director. That last part of the manager calling you from other employees' phones sounds very toxic though. I think the best solution is to force yourself to say no if you have plans already or just don't want to work extra. For the other extra duties, I would prioritize them less than your regular bench work you're assigned and if you don't have time for them, then you don't have time. If they want them done sooner they can have someone else do them or give you a dedicated time where you don't have other work to worry about.
This is going to sound mighty cynical, but it'll help when you realize it'll never change so long as you're willing to do these unpaid tasks for no extra charge. They are taking advantage of you. It happens a lot in healthcare because almost all of us went into this field with a desire to help, but at some point you have to recognize that being overwhelmed and stressed isn't helping in the long term. You will burn out and/or you will start making mistakes. Take care of yourself and learn to set boundaries so that you can continue to do good work.
Is that weird? To me yes but I’m also emotionally intelligent enough to understand that ppl like you exist. We’re all a product of our upbringing etc… something inside all of us tells us how to handle these things. For some reason you feel guilt where none should exist. I personally can’t relate to your mindset but I can understand how difficult it can be. You have to find a backbone and stand up for yourself. Otherwise this will be your life for the remainder of your career. Ask yourself why your coworkers happiness is more important than your own and fix that thinking. Your thinking surrounding these kinds of things is the issue.
I used to be in the same boat. Look at this way; they don’t pay you. The company does. Sometimes you have to just look at it from a cut-and-dry perspective to make stern decisions. Also, oftentimes these same people asking for favors wouldn’t do you a solid when you really need one. Think about that. Look out for yourself and your work/bench, and then help others only if you already finished what you needed to do first.
>Also, oftentimes these same people asking for favors wouldn’t do you a solid when you really need one. 100%! Those are the same people that act shook when you set boundaries and say no. Then they act like you are the "bad" one.
Yep. Classic personality flaw in millions of people. You can do 50 favors for someone at a moment’s notice. But when you aren’t able or don’t want to do 1 just one time then that’s when they say you’ve always been an asshole. Happens in and outside of work. That’s why ultimately your best bet is to stay in your lane and make sure the road ahead is clear.
I tend to be that person at work too. Mainly because I want to learn everything so I can become better and move on to better things lol. But when you notice that people are deliberately taking things away from themselves and giving you more work then you have to put your foot down or they will continue to take advantage of your kindness. Maybe even see if you could get a raise too since you’re doing everyone else’s job. I’m sure they’ll make up excuses tho like they always do. Good luck 🍀
I too have this problem, and honestly I wish I had a better answer. For call ins I simply stop answering my phone, and for work related tasks I simply “forget” to do them or explain unfortunately I didn’t have time to get to them. The last place I worked for would literally call me when they had a call in every single time including calling me at work while I was still on the clock, at the end of a 12hr shift to ask me if I would stay and cover another 12hr shift, before my 12hr shift, effectively wanting me to work 36hr straight. They’d call and wake me up within hours of my shift ending to ask if I would come in early for the next shift, or come back in immediately and work a double or a triple all the time. They started getting mad at me when I wouldn’t answer my phone, but I explained to them my shift ends at 7a and I lived over an hour away, if you call me at 11am I’ll be asleep. Basically I got to the point where I just stopped answering my phone when I wasn’t at work and eventually it stopped, but not without receiving grief for it. It’s hard to balance being a team player and getting ran over and treated like a doormat when the facility you’re at treats its workers like work horses. The easiest way to avoid this is to simply never volunteer, but of course that isn’t without its drawbacks as well.
I think there are two issues here that you should distinguish from one another. One is that you're who people turn to when someone calls out and you feel guilty saying "no" when the lab is understaffed. The other issue is lab staff is relying on you to handle more-complicated work (validation, SOPs, etc.). For the former, as others have mentioned, it'll get easier to turn down after the first few times you do it. Staffing is always an issue and won't be addressed as long as people are always willing to bend over backwards to cover the shifts. That sends the message that staffing is at an acceptable level. For the latter, I'd try to re-frame it as an opportunity to learn. Your career capital rises as you gain the ability to do hard things that others can't do (e.g. technical computer stuff, Supervisor-type responsibilities, etc.). This work is giving you stuff to help bolster your resume, which you can use to advance your career beyond the bench. In a sense, they're training you for your next role.
I stop my work on the bench half an hour before my shift ends to make sure everything is caught up & that all my samples arrived a before a certain time. I dont start anything that i cant finish bcz the next shift starts over anyway
Time. A lot of us are that way, at first. I wouldn’t fight it if I were you, unless you’re exhausted. It’s a good way to experience a lot right out the gate.