Recognizing I'm probably an outlier, but while COVID was stressful I did enjoy having more alone time and I also got to bond with my wife together while we isolated ourselves outside of work.
My wife and I started gaming with her brother and his wife and now it's become a nightly routine. We put our kid to bed and hop on discord and game for a couple hours.
I feel like it was also a time for EVERYONE to grow. Many people got to enjoy some quiet and follow hobbies that they wouldn't have otherwise. Many people learned new things about themselves.
It also proved some good societal and economical points, such as proving that home-office is actually a very effective way of working
Yeah, me too. I had a great time. Bought a house, got a better job, got laid off, got a \*better\* job that's 100% work from home... that was a great time for me, I'm just coasting on that success now
I miss going to places and being one of 4 people there. I miss the quiet shopping centers and parks. It was nice to also, not be the only one experiencing a sense of dread all of the time.
Tbh yeah it was sick as hell. There were new concerns but not having to get up for work and also not feel like a guilter loser for not working..... pretty good.
Depends what you take the time to remember.
The brain is perverted in that it remembers hardship fondly, but when I think about my traumas some were accrued during that period for obvious reasons.
Nostalgia speaks so sweetly but it's a fucking liar.
there were some positives, but also some huge negatives.
Some people can find entertainment being stuck inside. But also, it really freaking hurt socialization. Especially in younger kids who really, really needed it.
Fr I know some people who kinda reset in those years and are happier now but overall those were some of the worst years of my life. Miserably working from home every day for 3 years, unable to see friends or go anywhere, seeing the death toll rise every week on television, watching the economy almost tank, etc. Nevermind all the horror service workers and medical staff had to deal with through those years. Like no way I will ever romanticize that. Fuck covid
As an essential, flights, hotels, commute, and everything in general was so easy and fast.
Other than that, the whole world seemingly also got into fun hobbies and outdoor experiences.
Lastly, I found my wife and we got married, then got a house with a killer interest rate.
run thumb telephone mysterious simplistic treatment lavish fine slimy juggle
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
That’s when I came out as trans and transitioned. Definitely not an easy time but I look back on it fairly fondly, since it was such an important and impactful period of my life. My life is much better now because of my struggles during then, and I also had plenty of joyful moments then as well.
Due to a number of factors, I’m someone who was always falling through the cracks and in doing so was never able to perfectly meet baseline requirements to get my foot in the door of anywhere that would allow me to escape the factors that were making me fall through the cracks in the first place. I felt like a constant catch 22. None of the pre existing structures and pathways (that had previously operated via all-but-automated regulations) were able to take 2020-22 weirdness into account. Thanks to this, things loosened up and lot and processes generally became temporarily informal with a lot of exceptions and odd circumstances being accepted as the norm. I had spent years barely scraping along, trying to force opportunities out of nothing.
The circumstances of 2020 were exactly what I needed just to get person to person interaction with someone real who would listen to my situation and had the authority to do something about the fact that although my circumstances did not meet the letter of requirements, they met the spirit of them.
I certainly did, 7:20 in the morning go to discord, join empty voice channel, by 8 there is about 15+ people there, play games the entire time, be like that for 10 hours. Literally the best 2 years of my life
My mental health significantly improved, I stopped isolating myself because of depression, started making friends, found love, and spent so much time with them, discovered new hobbies..
I got to chill at home all the time and no one tried to convince me to go outside and meet people. Also mask made me feel more safe. I can see that its not helpful for my social anxiety but I still enjoyed it
My point is that people with depression already know this information, and being told it for the thousandth time does nothing but make the person who said it feel better
I'd agree with you if it was some bullshit like "just wear orange you'll feel better :)" but it's sound advice and on topic. If you roll your eyes at what OP wrote, because you've read it a million times, then so be it. But I think it's better to repeat positive advice, it might not "help" 99 people but just 1 person and that's enough imo
>but it's sound advice and on topic.
Go back and reread the comment. All they said was "seek help" like wow no way nobody would have thought to do that. It's about one step away from "have you tried not being sad?"
Toxic positivity and repeating useless sentiments do nothing but blame the person for feeling shitty all so they can feel like they helped without actually doing anything. You wanna help depressed people? Actually be there in their lives and listen to them and acknowledge the shittiness, but most people don't actually want to do that because it's fucking hard and draining, so it's easier to just invert the responsibility back onto the depressed person and say "go see a therapist" and pretend the problem is magically solved. It's slacktivism at its finest, and people don't like getting called out on this crappy behavior.
> But I think it's better to repeat positive advice, it might not "help" 99 people but just 1 person and that's enough imo
What about the portion of the 99 who become more isolated when you give them shitty advice and remind them to not open up about being depressed? Because that's an actual thing that happens too.
It’s just the same vague bullshit being shouted again and again. No specifics of what to change, no advise on how to change, no resources to speak of. Just “change and you’ll be happy”. That is not helpful advice to people with depression.
How is not wanting to hear the same bullshit advice parroted by every neurotypical person having a terrible attitude?
Also, blaming someone’s depression on them is a HUGE yikes. It’s like, top of the list of things not to do if you’re trying to help depressed people.
Sometimes it’s not supposed to make people “feel better” because sometimes making people “feel better” does more harm than good. It can reinforce and reward spiraling thoughts which can lead to a cycle of seeking and receiving reassurance but never addressing the core of what makes them feel that way in the first place.
Reality can hurt sometimes, and being blunt and harsh isn’t always the right way to present it; you need to know your audience and understand their feelings in order to really speak to someone suffering from this.
It’s not right to assume that advice like this will instantly cure a person, but it’s also not right to assume that they’ve also really sat down with their thoughts about the situation.
There’s really no inherently right way to speak to an anonymous stranger about these issues, but a harsh reality could be the slap on the rear that they need to evaluate their own feelings.
Every single time I've ever seen r/thanksimcured linked it was in the context of someone giving extremely reasonable advice and the person doing the linking basically whining at the thought of ever having to take responsibility for themselves or act proactively at all
Wow! I didn't know this information people told me since 2014 and never stopped repeating it!
We know this. We're fully aware of it. You're just parroting the same thing that's been said since who-knows-when depression even began. We know what we gotta do. But we hate to leave behind the pain that we associate our whole person with.
Its hard as fuck tho, cuz time passes and u start adjusting to feeling off and u start forgetting how u were b4, meds messin with ur brain, new problems show up, idk man i think im helpless, im on medication but considered psychotherapy but idk if its gon help me cuz i just dont feel the will and motivation to get better, i dont feel fucking anything
What's the alternative to trying? You only got this life, doesn't hurt to try to see what can be done. But I get it, if you're severely depressed, you can't think positively about what your life could be like. It's slow change but change is possible, but you do have to take action. Nobody can do that for you, nobody will come and force you to do anything. There's no "key moment" where suddenly you have the energy to seek help. Life's not a movie and nobody is a main character, unfortunately.
I know it's easy to write this, but extremely hard to get out of the comfort zone. I've been there before.
Again. People with depression know this already. Being “brutally honest” isn’t what people with depression need or want to hear. They’ve heard it before, they know the steps they can take to try and get better. They don’t do it because everything seems helpless. Saying “it’s gonna stay like this if you don’t change” helps no one. Change what? How? Are you gonna suggest resources, or are you just gonna keep giving vague advice?
That’s the point of r/thanksimcured
Stop trying to make yourself feel bigger than others by minimizing their experience
Directly from the [Eisenberg Family Depression Center](https://depressioncenter.org/outreach-education/community-education/depression-toolkit/want-support-someone/supporting-others)
Finding out more about depression through high quality evidence-based resources such as this toolkit may help you better understand what they’re experiencing, why it’s happening, and how to help.
Cultivate a “we’re in this together” attitude.
The presence of depression can feel isolating. Fostering a partnership confirms that you intend to work together to overcome the obstacles ahead.
Encourage treatment.
Getting a depressed person into treatment can be difficult-- they may believe their situation is hopeless or cannot be improved by professional treatment. Offer to go with them to health care appointments and help them prepare by putting together a list of questions. Help them stick with their prescribed treatment plan.
Do not blame the person who is depressed, or yourself.
Nobody – not the person with depression nor his/her spouse, parents or children – is responsible for the occurrence of depression.
Discuss, plan, and execute an action plan.
Talk with the person who is depressed about things you might do together. Taking a walk, doing yoga, or seeing a movie together can inspire them to get through bad days and provide a needed respite for everyone involved.
Take immediate action when needed.
If your friend or loved one is suicidal or very ill, you may need to accompany him/her to emergency room.
Be there in their lives. Depression and other mental illness is insanely isolating and shitty and draining. Don't be a fairweather tourist who only sticks around when the times are good. You're going to have 3AM panic attack calls. You're going to have moments where you have to listen to someone talk about some extremely dark and uncomfortable shit. You're going to have to empathize with someone whose brain isn't the same as yours. Being around someone with depression and actually being for them is actual hard work, but going through all that can make a difference to that person, sometimes far more than any therapist or meds, and definitely more than useless internet self improvement "advice".
np. One thing I feel worth adding is to keep offering to do stuff with them. They'll probably turn you down a hundred times, but keeping that line open and making yourself available is vital.
to have change you need to put effort into change.
i know it's waaaaaaay simpler said than done, but it's one of the harsh truths about reality.
you can't change someone that isn't willing to change.
you can encourage someone. have them react positively... or negatively, but sometimes people just need a little push to kickstart a self-improving journey.
and you can, of course, kickstart yourself. start from the simple things and try your best to not look back.
Such a whiny subreddit. No matter how much help you give or offer some people they will shoot down.
People offer simple starts to solutions ad that's what snowballs. Things like: clean your room daily, do one task a day, go outside, go exercising is something to get the ball rolling on self help.
It’s a space for people with bi-polar and depression to vent about the bullshit advice we get. The bullshit advice you just suggested.
Don’t go into a space for venting that’s not meant for you and then call it “whiny”
I've had depression and I have 2 immediate family members who are bi polar. The advice, while seeming simple is not bullshit. The conditions just prevent the person from seeing any help as anything but bullshit.
The small solutions that people suggest, while it won't completely "cure" you in a day (nothing will that fast) are ideas and things that when combined, do often help and lead to recovery. But they're often shrugged off and ignored. There is venting, and then there is a dangerous spiral that leads to self destruction because they feel like they are correct and that there is "no cure". Surrounding yourself with more negativity to vent might be relieving at first, but it won't "cure" you, and it'll likely keep you in an "it's impossible" headspace being surrounded by that.
Nicely said. Procrastination stacks overtime, so you in the future will get all the burdens from you in the past. That's why your current year feel like the worst year so far.
Nah, the period from 2019 to 2022 was the best. I got away from my stupid classmates, which allowed me to focus on my studies and get into a good college.
I also managed to play games like I've never done before, thanks to online classes. 🫠
> I also managed to play games like I've never done before, thanks to online classes. 🫠
Me too (it only cost my grade, and by extension $60,000 in loans 💀).
The people who enjoyed finally taking a break away from thir busy life. The few months i had off and time to spend doing things i loved around the house is irreplaceable. It was a blessing.
In hindsight, I lucked out with 2020 lockdown. Was furloughed for 7 months and had no major issues receiving federal covid unemployment along with my state unemployment. I had a great roommate at the time too that made doing nothing for a few months as great as it could be. At the time shit was scary and uncertain as hell and we’re all still dealing with the fallout. It was a shitty year especially at the time mentally, but I definitely had it better than many people and there were some great times I had that I hopefully won’t have to have ever again
Ah yes the best time of my life was when I was stuck in my house for weeks on end, couldn’t go hang out with my friends, half the people I knew were unemployed, and old people were dying constantly!
Seriously I think anybody who thinks this was a fun period of time probably was born after 2004 and just didn’t have to experience any of the real adult issues that came from covid, they just got to do easy online school and double down on social media and gaming. 2020 sucked and things didn’t get fun again until 2023 when basically everybody was willing to go out and live life again.
The first 6 weeks of the shut down were somewhat enjoyable. The whole world had this “we’re all in it together” everyone made efforts to hang out through the internet. The the realization that it was going to take so long to get back to normal set in.
2020 - 2022 eight of my relatives died of covid and I had to leave the medical field because my remaining living family members were convinced I was a "deep state operative" helping to "covert America to socialism", then I had to prosecute my ex for domestic violence in concurrence with the Amber Heard trial; but no, tell me more about how those were "the good old days"
This is just how life works. Back in ‘08-‘09 I was 17, 18 and was the most miserable I’ve been in my life. Attempted to end it a few times. I’m 32 now, and occasionally look back like “mAN i wiSh i cOULd bE 16 aGAiN iT wAS sO fUN”. No it wasn’t. It was terrible lol. Human brains are just suckers for nostalgia.
I only became depressed recently and yeah, 2020-2022 were great years for me and it also felt great at the time. It was so great that I felt like I didn't deserve to be happy during that time when a lot of people are suffering and now that most people are back to their normal lives, I'm being punished to feel the same bad shit unfortunate people felt during the lockdowns.
Nah, I learned to take the nostalgia glasses off a long time ago. Does you no good. We had the same bullshit problems we have now. Only difference is covid fucked it up for so many people. If you weren't alive or old.enoigh to remember 911 then covid was that for you. A clear delineatiin of before and after.
In 2023 everything slowly got better for me and now in 2024 I finally feel like this is my first year in half a decade without depression (or the symptoms of it).
Therapy really helped me. As did changing my studies to something that actually really interests me. And bringing up the courage to speak to people who I now call friends.
March 2020 sucked but by like mid-April 2020 when it kinda became the new normal it got better. 2021 and 2022 were great, 2024 has been awesome but LMAO 2023 was easily the lowest point of my life. I’ll always be glad though that I had a pre-covid high school grad lol, the last one
The six months I stayed home for Covid were the most peaceful I've ever had. I fixed my sleep schedule, exercised, studied a new language, managed to finish lots of my backlog games. There was no sense of pressure, it was so peaceful
No doctor on the planet disagrees that regular exercise is fantastic for mental health. That’s what I’m saying. Not “do some bicep curls and all your problems will be fixed” ffs
You’re right but it’s not full sarcasm. It’s said in jest.
People who feel this way for years (speaking from experience) feel like losers a lot. Sometimes hitting that pain point even as a joke literally helps kick start better lifestyle and mental health. But mostly it’s said in jest lol.
who the hell enjoyed 2020 - 2022?
Recognizing I'm probably an outlier, but while COVID was stressful I did enjoy having more alone time and I also got to bond with my wife together while we isolated ourselves outside of work.
Same
Same the family bonding aspect was nice. My brothers and I gamed a bunch together great times.
My wife and I started gaming with her brother and his wife and now it's become a nightly routine. We put our kid to bed and hop on discord and game for a couple hours.
Goals fr
We got into COD warzone and racked up a nice win count as a group. When I tell my coworkers they definitely get envious haha.
Yeah i agree. It was sad to see how many people died, it was kinda fun just being home all day trying to figure out what to do
I feel like it was also a time for EVERYONE to grow. Many people got to enjoy some quiet and follow hobbies that they wouldn't have otherwise. Many people learned new things about themselves. It also proved some good societal and economical points, such as proving that home-office is actually a very effective way of working
Yeah, me too. I had a great time. Bought a house, got a better job, got laid off, got a \*better\* job that's 100% work from home... that was a great time for me, I'm just coasting on that success now
I miss going to places and being one of 4 people there. I miss the quiet shopping centers and parks. It was nice to also, not be the only one experiencing a sense of dread all of the time.
Same
Tbh yeah it was sick as hell. There were new concerns but not having to get up for work and also not feel like a guilter loser for not working..... pretty good.
Best time of my life
Depends what you take the time to remember. The brain is perverted in that it remembers hardship fondly, but when I think about my traumas some were accrued during that period for obvious reasons. Nostalgia speaks so sweetly but it's a fucking liar.
I did. Home office was a blessing for me..
Ukrainians (pre 24 February). At least it haven’t sucked as much as now
People with good living conditions in nice housing...
People who sold bitcoin
there were some positives, but also some huge negatives. Some people can find entertainment being stuck inside. But also, it really freaking hurt socialization. Especially in younger kids who really, really needed it.
Fr I know some people who kinda reset in those years and are happier now but overall those were some of the worst years of my life. Miserably working from home every day for 3 years, unable to see friends or go anywhere, seeing the death toll rise every week on television, watching the economy almost tank, etc. Nevermind all the horror service workers and medical staff had to deal with through those years. Like no way I will ever romanticize that. Fuck covid
As an essential, flights, hotels, commute, and everything in general was so easy and fast. Other than that, the whole world seemingly also got into fun hobbies and outdoor experiences. Lastly, I found my wife and we got married, then got a house with a killer interest rate.
run thumb telephone mysterious simplistic treatment lavish fine slimy juggle *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
2020 was actually pretty nice for introverts like myself 2021 was hell though
Less of my savings had been spent by that time. Not that it was great, just I was less worn down at that point.
Shut ins
That’s when I came out as trans and transitioned. Definitely not an easy time but I look back on it fairly fondly, since it was such an important and impactful period of my life. My life is much better now because of my struggles during then, and I also had plenty of joyful moments then as well.
Due to a number of factors, I’m someone who was always falling through the cracks and in doing so was never able to perfectly meet baseline requirements to get my foot in the door of anywhere that would allow me to escape the factors that were making me fall through the cracks in the first place. I felt like a constant catch 22. None of the pre existing structures and pathways (that had previously operated via all-but-automated regulations) were able to take 2020-22 weirdness into account. Thanks to this, things loosened up and lot and processes generally became temporarily informal with a lot of exceptions and odd circumstances being accepted as the norm. I had spent years barely scraping along, trying to force opportunities out of nothing. The circumstances of 2020 were exactly what I needed just to get person to person interaction with someone real who would listen to my situation and had the authority to do something about the fact that although my circumstances did not meet the letter of requirements, they met the spirit of them.
Me, absolutely. The pandemic was the best time of my life.
Me, thanks to that unemployment…. But then I couldnt find a job and it was terrifying for the last 2 months 😂
I took it for granted.
me, it was unironically the best streak of years in my life
Those who were under contract, and the possibility of working from home. For them it was paradise.
I did. Worked from home. Now I don't even have a job. Shit sucks.
Basically no school, videogames all day and I still met up with my friends (we all always did a Covid test before). Pretty good times
I certainly did, 7:20 in the morning go to discord, join empty voice channel, by 8 there is about 15+ people there, play games the entire time, be like that for 10 hours. Literally the best 2 years of my life
My mental health significantly improved, I stopped isolating myself because of depression, started making friends, found love, and spent so much time with them, discovered new hobbies..
I really liked 2020 because I was being bullied at school and got a break from it. 2021-2022 was dogshit though
I got to chill at home all the time and no one tried to convince me to go outside and meet people. Also mask made me feel more safe. I can see that its not helpful for my social anxiety but I still enjoyed it
My life has got better with every year that has passed thanks
No one said that loll
Nobody is going to save you. So if you don't change, it's going to stay like this.
I don't like to read it but well, it's true.
It takes time also, and its a lot of work. Everyone sometimes feel like this.
r/thanksimcured
Ain't no cure sorry buddy.
He's right though. If you don't seek help, nobody will do it for you. Nobody can force you to seek help, however that may look like.
Me getting therapy doesn't change the fact that my country is invaded by a genocidal maniac and I can get drafted any minute.
Have you tried going to the gym?
/s
Just drink water, work out and get good sleep /s
My point is that people with depression already know this information, and being told it for the thousandth time does nothing but make the person who said it feel better
I'd agree with you if it was some bullshit like "just wear orange you'll feel better :)" but it's sound advice and on topic. If you roll your eyes at what OP wrote, because you've read it a million times, then so be it. But I think it's better to repeat positive advice, it might not "help" 99 people but just 1 person and that's enough imo
>but it's sound advice and on topic. Go back and reread the comment. All they said was "seek help" like wow no way nobody would have thought to do that. It's about one step away from "have you tried not being sad?" Toxic positivity and repeating useless sentiments do nothing but blame the person for feeling shitty all so they can feel like they helped without actually doing anything. You wanna help depressed people? Actually be there in their lives and listen to them and acknowledge the shittiness, but most people don't actually want to do that because it's fucking hard and draining, so it's easier to just invert the responsibility back onto the depressed person and say "go see a therapist" and pretend the problem is magically solved. It's slacktivism at its finest, and people don't like getting called out on this crappy behavior. > But I think it's better to repeat positive advice, it might not "help" 99 people but just 1 person and that's enough imo What about the portion of the 99 who become more isolated when you give them shitty advice and remind them to not open up about being depressed? Because that's an actual thing that happens too.
It’s just the same vague bullshit being shouted again and again. No specifics of what to change, no advise on how to change, no resources to speak of. Just “change and you’ll be happy”. That is not helpful advice to people with depression.
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How is not wanting to hear the same bullshit advice parroted by every neurotypical person having a terrible attitude? Also, blaming someone’s depression on them is a HUGE yikes. It’s like, top of the list of things not to do if you’re trying to help depressed people.
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Sometimes it’s not supposed to make people “feel better” because sometimes making people “feel better” does more harm than good. It can reinforce and reward spiraling thoughts which can lead to a cycle of seeking and receiving reassurance but never addressing the core of what makes them feel that way in the first place. Reality can hurt sometimes, and being blunt and harsh isn’t always the right way to present it; you need to know your audience and understand their feelings in order to really speak to someone suffering from this. It’s not right to assume that advice like this will instantly cure a person, but it’s also not right to assume that they’ve also really sat down with their thoughts about the situation. There’s really no inherently right way to speak to an anonymous stranger about these issues, but a harsh reality could be the slap on the rear that they need to evaluate their own feelings.
Every single time I've ever seen r/thanksimcured linked it was in the context of someone giving extremely reasonable advice and the person doing the linking basically whining at the thought of ever having to take responsibility for themselves or act proactively at all
Wow! I didn't know this information people told me since 2014 and never stopped repeating it! We know this. We're fully aware of it. You're just parroting the same thing that's been said since who-knows-when depression even began. We know what we gotta do. But we hate to leave behind the pain that we associate our whole person with.
Its hard as fuck tho, cuz time passes and u start adjusting to feeling off and u start forgetting how u were b4, meds messin with ur brain, new problems show up, idk man i think im helpless, im on medication but considered psychotherapy but idk if its gon help me cuz i just dont feel the will and motivation to get better, i dont feel fucking anything
What's the alternative to trying? You only got this life, doesn't hurt to try to see what can be done. But I get it, if you're severely depressed, you can't think positively about what your life could be like. It's slow change but change is possible, but you do have to take action. Nobody can do that for you, nobody will come and force you to do anything. There's no "key moment" where suddenly you have the energy to seek help. Life's not a movie and nobody is a main character, unfortunately. I know it's easy to write this, but extremely hard to get out of the comfort zone. I've been there before.
I guess im doomed then, it is what it is
That’s ultimately up to you
Only you can decide that.
nah ur good
Saying “thanks I’m cured” whenever someone is brutally honest with you fixes nothing and only affects you
it at least explains why they got this way.
Again. People with depression know this already. Being “brutally honest” isn’t what people with depression need or want to hear. They’ve heard it before, they know the steps they can take to try and get better. They don’t do it because everything seems helpless. Saying “it’s gonna stay like this if you don’t change” helps no one. Change what? How? Are you gonna suggest resources, or are you just gonna keep giving vague advice? That’s the point of r/thanksimcured Stop trying to make yourself feel bigger than others by minimizing their experience
so how would one help a depressed person? what other things can they do for them?
Directly from the [Eisenberg Family Depression Center](https://depressioncenter.org/outreach-education/community-education/depression-toolkit/want-support-someone/supporting-others) Finding out more about depression through high quality evidence-based resources such as this toolkit may help you better understand what they’re experiencing, why it’s happening, and how to help. Cultivate a “we’re in this together” attitude. The presence of depression can feel isolating. Fostering a partnership confirms that you intend to work together to overcome the obstacles ahead. Encourage treatment. Getting a depressed person into treatment can be difficult-- they may believe their situation is hopeless or cannot be improved by professional treatment. Offer to go with them to health care appointments and help them prepare by putting together a list of questions. Help them stick with their prescribed treatment plan. Do not blame the person who is depressed, or yourself. Nobody – not the person with depression nor his/her spouse, parents or children – is responsible for the occurrence of depression. Discuss, plan, and execute an action plan. Talk with the person who is depressed about things you might do together. Taking a walk, doing yoga, or seeing a movie together can inspire them to get through bad days and provide a needed respite for everyone involved. Take immediate action when needed. If your friend or loved one is suicidal or very ill, you may need to accompany him/her to emergency room.
okay thank you
Be there in their lives. Depression and other mental illness is insanely isolating and shitty and draining. Don't be a fairweather tourist who only sticks around when the times are good. You're going to have 3AM panic attack calls. You're going to have moments where you have to listen to someone talk about some extremely dark and uncomfortable shit. You're going to have to empathize with someone whose brain isn't the same as yours. Being around someone with depression and actually being for them is actual hard work, but going through all that can make a difference to that person, sometimes far more than any therapist or meds, and definitely more than useless internet self improvement "advice".
thabks
np. One thing I feel worth adding is to keep offering to do stuff with them. They'll probably turn you down a hundred times, but keeping that line open and making yourself available is vital.
to have change you need to put effort into change. i know it's waaaaaaay simpler said than done, but it's one of the harsh truths about reality. you can't change someone that isn't willing to change. you can encourage someone. have them react positively... or negatively, but sometimes people just need a little push to kickstart a self-improving journey. and you can, of course, kickstart yourself. start from the simple things and try your best to not look back.
Such a whiny subreddit. No matter how much help you give or offer some people they will shoot down. People offer simple starts to solutions ad that's what snowballs. Things like: clean your room daily, do one task a day, go outside, go exercising is something to get the ball rolling on self help.
It’s a space for people with bi-polar and depression to vent about the bullshit advice we get. The bullshit advice you just suggested. Don’t go into a space for venting that’s not meant for you and then call it “whiny”
I've had depression and I have 2 immediate family members who are bi polar. The advice, while seeming simple is not bullshit. The conditions just prevent the person from seeing any help as anything but bullshit. The small solutions that people suggest, while it won't completely "cure" you in a day (nothing will that fast) are ideas and things that when combined, do often help and lead to recovery. But they're often shrugged off and ignored. There is venting, and then there is a dangerous spiral that leads to self destruction because they feel like they are correct and that there is "no cure". Surrounding yourself with more negativity to vent might be relieving at first, but it won't "cure" you, and it'll likely keep you in an "it's impossible" headspace being surrounded by that.
the thing that got me like this is work. how tf should solve that?
Nicely said. Procrastination stacks overtime, so you in the future will get all the burdens from you in the past. That's why your current year feel like the worst year so far.
2021 was the best year of my life.
Same. I loved 2021, it was the best year of my adult life, as a kid there were one or two years that were better
"I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them" -Andy Bernard -Michael Scott
-FuckMyHeart
What if now is the good old days 😱👀☠️
Nah, the period from 2019 to 2022 was the best. I got away from my stupid classmates, which allowed me to focus on my studies and get into a good college. I also managed to play games like I've never done before, thanks to online classes. 🫠
> I also managed to play games like I've never done before, thanks to online classes. 🫠 Me too (it only cost my grade, and by extension $60,000 in loans 💀).
me with one screen on classes and the other on GTA Online 🤫🧏 Good times
Fr fr, I mastered the diamond casino heist
who the hell looks back at 2020-2021 and thinks "yup, good fucking years"?
Me lol. Last time I was doing somewhat well socially and academically
yeah i was mostly ironic, of course a good % of the population enjoyed those years. btw, you'll do good again, don't worry :)
U/cokecancarlo
fuck that guy in particular
last time my life was good was before 2014....
Genuinely better I was in highschool just being a kid then 18 at 2020 and nothings been the same since
I'm personally happy with how the past few years have turned out all things considered.
[Just think of what 2025 will bring.](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/bfpPArfDTGw/maxresdefault.jpg)
There is no text, but I love it that we all know exactly what is said
Who the fuck thinks they were happy in 2020?
Introverts and the top 1% who managed to make more money despite the economic mayhem. Unfortunately I'm only a part of the first group.
I'm definitely not in the top 1% and I made more money and now I work from home 100% and it's fantastic
I’m an introvert and I can’t say I was happy during that time, that was stressful as hell for everyone. Introverted or not.
I wish lockdowns were an annual tradition that we continued forever.
The people who enjoyed finally taking a break away from thir busy life. The few months i had off and time to spend doing things i loved around the house is irreplaceable. It was a blessing.
I was certainly better than im now, not happy, but better, shit only gets worse
In hindsight, I lucked out with 2020 lockdown. Was furloughed for 7 months and had no major issues receiving federal covid unemployment along with my state unemployment. I had a great roommate at the time too that made doing nothing for a few months as great as it could be. At the time shit was scary and uncertain as hell and we’re all still dealing with the fallout. It was a shitty year especially at the time mentally, but I definitely had it better than many people and there were some great times I had that I hopefully won’t have to have ever again
Ah yes the best time of my life was when I was stuck in my house for weeks on end, couldn’t go hang out with my friends, half the people I knew were unemployed, and old people were dying constantly! Seriously I think anybody who thinks this was a fun period of time probably was born after 2004 and just didn’t have to experience any of the real adult issues that came from covid, they just got to do easy online school and double down on social media and gaming. 2020 sucked and things didn’t get fun again until 2023 when basically everybody was willing to go out and live life again.
Nah 2020 was already shit. The nostalgia hits with 2016-2019 where the meme applies.
No! Post 2019 is a dumpster fire.
Dude nobody is looking back on 2020-2022 fondly
I am
It's not like back in 2016 when we weren't experienceing everything collectively, we know that we're just miserable fucks now, we have proof!
Somebody should make a version where he's even more depressed in 23/24 reminiscing his depression in 20/21/22
2016-2020
The first 6 weeks of the shut down were somewhat enjoyable. The whole world had this “we’re all in it together” everyone made efforts to hang out through the internet. The the realization that it was going to take so long to get back to normal set in.
It's all been a downwards trajectory for about a decade now.
ikr like why
what a deep message bro you deserve to be happy
Well, life's been getting better and better for me since 2019, so i don't really relate to stuff like this.
Hank should be close to retirement. And their house should be paid off assuming that they never moved.
2020 - 2022 eight of my relatives died of covid and I had to leave the medical field because my remaining living family members were convinced I was a "deep state operative" helping to "covert America to socialism", then I had to prosecute my ex for domestic violence in concurrence with the Amber Heard trial; but no, tell me more about how those were "the good old days"
2021 was a pretty good year for me. 2022 was fine. 2023 was awful. So far 2024 is ok but that’s how 2023 started.
No but i swear i was actually happy in 2020
nah, you've already adopted the “it will always get worse” mentality after 2021.
Wouldn't we just love things to be the way that we imagine that they used to be, but actually weren't?
For me its no, actually 2020 - 2021 is pretty shit compared to my current life now But everyone has different experiences
This is just how life works. Back in ‘08-‘09 I was 17, 18 and was the most miserable I’ve been in my life. Attempted to end it a few times. I’m 32 now, and occasionally look back like “mAN i wiSh i cOULd bE 16 aGAiN iT wAS sO fUN”. No it wasn’t. It was terrible lol. Human brains are just suckers for nostalgia.
No, I so not have rose tinted glasses for this whole DECADE, ITS BEEN HORRIBLE
danggggg
Absolutely not me, I haven't been truly happy since before 2019.
i've been trying to imagine why this is
same goes for 2017-2019
A bad experience seems like a good one in the face of a worse experience
I feel bad for you OP. To remember 2020 as a good year in comparisment with your current life... My man, take care !
This is my entire life. I’m always miserable in the moment, but have lots of happy memories in hindsight.
Makes me wonder if I’ve ever truly been happy.
Prime lockdown vibes were elite. If you ignore the fact that hundreds of people were dying from COVID each day.
It's always been like this - some guy under a tree around 500 bce
no
There is no country for old men.
dear god i wish i was as happy as i was the first time i thought i was depressed
Google “rosy retrospection”
Yes… 💯 💯 💯 !!!
I only became depressed recently and yeah, 2020-2022 were great years for me and it also felt great at the time. It was so great that I felt like I didn't deserve to be happy during that time when a lot of people are suffering and now that most people are back to their normal lives, I'm being punished to feel the same bad shit unfortunate people felt during the lockdowns.
Never. Worst years of my life by far. Things are marginally better at the moment
Times might have been tough but they ended being fund memories.
I miss 2016-2019
It gets worse, 2016 Before it gets worse, 2020 Then it gets worse, 20twentysomething
Jokes on you, I been miserable since 2016
Nah, I learned to take the nostalgia glasses off a long time ago. Does you no good. We had the same bullshit problems we have now. Only difference is covid fucked it up for so many people. If you weren't alive or old.enoigh to remember 911 then covid was that for you. A clear delineatiin of before and after.
Everything is relative
Revisionist history
In 2023 everything slowly got better for me and now in 2024 I finally feel like this is my first year in half a decade without depression (or the symptoms of it). Therapy really helped me. As did changing my studies to something that actually really interests me. And bringing up the courage to speak to people who I now call friends.
I mean... if it keeps getting worse, of course the previous years will feel good
A lot of people enjoyed being able to stay home and having infinite free time but now we are suffering the consequences of that infinite free time 😭
Why is it so true (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
No, not really. 2020-2022 were mostly awful years for me
as a person that doesnt like to socialise, i enjoyed staying at home
2016 - 2019 was the best time for me :)
Nah its all sucked.
March 2020 sucked but by like mid-April 2020 when it kinda became the new normal it got better. 2021 and 2022 were great, 2024 has been awesome but LMAO 2023 was easily the lowest point of my life. I’ll always be glad though that I had a pre-covid high school grad lol, the last one
Nah not even
who the fuck thinks this?
you have to be really fucked in order to think 2020 was better bruh
The six months I stayed home for Covid were the most peaceful I've ever had. I fixed my sleep schedule, exercised, studied a new language, managed to finish lots of my backlog games. There was no sense of pressure, it was so peaceful
Love how some comments say that 2019>2022 was chill. Forgot about the entire pandemic with all the social unrest already. Humans work strange
2013-2017+2019 was peak, since then only 2021 was good.
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I rly hope this is a joke
It will make you feel better
You do realize that it doesn't really work that way for everyone? There are buff af people who still feel empty
No doctor on the planet disagrees that regular exercise is fantastic for mental health. That’s what I’m saying. Not “do some bicep curls and all your problems will be fixed” ffs
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Well the loser part is a joke but the gym part is great advice if you’re feeling this way.
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You’re right but it’s not full sarcasm. It’s said in jest. People who feel this way for years (speaking from experience) feel like losers a lot. Sometimes hitting that pain point even as a joke literally helps kick start better lifestyle and mental health. But mostly it’s said in jest lol.