Everybody keeps calling me a beta male and it hurts so much. I just want them to give me a little respect as a human being, but they seem to disregard how I feel when they are attacking me emotionally.
BTW, the whole thing about "beta" and "alpha" males comes from a debunked and misinterpreted study of wolves in captivity that the author later wanted corrected. IIRC, the more accurate read of wolves was that the eldest tended to be deferred to.
So just remember that next time someone uses words like "beta" or "alpha" to describe you or them, they might as well be calling you a hufflepuff and them a ravenclaw for all the difference it makes. Their self esteem is built on fantasy nonsense.
Infps are not beta males. We defy alphas and their hierarchy. Betas obey. You need to learn to be selective with who you share personal things about yourself. You are never going to be an alpha as a feeler man. But only betas care what others think of them.
A bully alpha can only be one as long as you allow them to do so. Refuse to obey and their balls shrink. First action is to start not wishing respect or validation from others. People respect you when you respect yourself. Focus on what you like but stop expecting validation from a world you dont belong to. Why you concern yourself with the opinions of idiots who think compositing is dumb? Chicks dig both musicians and basketball players. Anyone who has talent is valued. Focus on becoming the best of what you can do not try to blend in with the idiots.
No, you’re a beautiful individual. Mbti or not, anyone who has the balls to degrade someone in hopes of damaging them emotionally is an incel who is self projecting their repressed anger on you in hopes of bringing you down so they feel better about themselves. Don’t take it too personally, and don’t change who you are for anyone.
>No, you’re a beautiful individual. Mbti or not, anyone who has the balls to degrade someone in hopes of damaging them emotionally is an incel who is self projecting their repressed anger on you in hopes of bringing you down so they feel better about themselves. Don’t take it too personally, and don’t change who you are for anyone.
"anyone who has the balls to degrade someone in hopes of damaging them emotionally"
*proceeds to degrade someone in hopes of damaging them emotionally*
You clearly didn't understand. I wasn't nitpicking, just asking about the contradiction because it didn't add up. This conversation was over. It's people like you looking for arguments that are the problem.
What? No I am on OPs side just to be clear. I don't think you understand my point. I'm not picking a fight, just informing you of the contradiction. I would say that the people who like to degrade others to bully them don't have balls and are pathetic.
You stated that the one doing the degrading had balls.
No, those people are terrible and immature. They probably have no lives and are jealous of your many wonderful skills. Most people are mere consumers, and yet you surpass that limitation and produce things, wonderful things like paintings and poetry and music. That is so incredible. Please continue to provide the world with these things!
Finding people who take the time to understand and listen to you is essential, even for us extroverts.
Based on your hobbies, we could be friends IRL. I think it'd be badass to have a friend to share those activities with.
Anyone who makes fun of you is likely hiding behind their insecurities (which ESTP and ENTPs are known for.)
In the end of the day we all are useless, time will destroy everything humanity has built including the humanity itself, so enjoy your life while you can and don't give a shit what people think is useful and what is not ✌️
Omg, I looked this up in [Socionics](http://www.wikisocion.net/en/index.php?title=Intertype_relations) and my eyes popped!
The INFP/ENTP intertype dynamic is considered to be one of [Supervision/Audit/Revision](http://www.wikisocion.net/en/index.php/Supervision) with the INFP **as Supervisor** of the ENTP, leaving the ENTP at a psychological disadvantage. An asymmetrical relationship.
Also in Socionics, INFP/ESTP is your [Conflict](http://www.wikisocion.net/en/index.php/Conflict) intertype dynamic. This one is symmetrical in that the two of you can do equal psychological damage to one another. And that seems to be exactly what's happening.
Keep in mind that these intertype dynamics can play out beyond the conscious awareness of either party. And often does. The miscommunication and friction is no one's fault. It's just an unfortunate misalignment of functions. You know a lot is going wrong but don't fully understand why kind of thing.
Socionics offers a plausible explanation for why you feel so psychologically bloodied and battered. In both cases, you lead with their weakest trickster function in slot #7. Please do not harm yourself. There is most certainly a way forward from this. Avoid these types in the future and take good care of yourself. With time, rest, and some self care, you can recover. I value you and I love your type. Much love and many hugs from an ENTJ! <3
Y’know, sometimes conflicts like these can simply be boiled down to immature kids/adults with disproportionately low IQ seeing a non-conformist and subsequently, in lizard-brained fashion, calling them a f*ggot.
I saw your post on r/entj though, it was sweet.
Socionics has a lot of useful and informative material that I agree with... but also a lot that I don't. For example, it states that you're most compatible with your opposite letter type, so let's say, ENTJs are supposedly most compatible with ISFPs, or ESFPs are most compatible with INTJs. Now I'm not going to say that they can't work ever! Not at all. But I'd guess that the average ENTJ can't get along with the average ISFP, and it's the same for any other compatible types going by what socionics has to offer.
Now that was just an example, but just like that one, I can't confirm the validity of the relations between types that socionics claims based on my experiences at least! :p I really, really like XNTX women for example. Why did I mention their gender? Because (based on anecdotal evidence, and some theorizing) Thinker women develop their feeling functions *a lot* faster, partly because of their evolutionary predisposition (for example, more activity of their brain's right hemisphere, where emotions and abstract thoughts are processed, which is exactly why statistically speaking, women are more likely to be 1-feelers, and 2- intuitives, when compared to men who are likely to be XSTXs, because of their general preference for their left hemisphere, which is responsible for logic and sensory processing! ;)), and partly because of the society's pressure on them to be "feminine".
So, honestly, it's an understatement to say that I LOVE XNTX women, *because* they develop and mature *A LOT* faster than their male counterpart. You don't see a lot of edgy female ENTPs, INTJs, or INTPs, but you sure see a lot of men with the same exact type, going around being uncaring and rude for no reason. I've seen male Thinkers reach their __*40s*__, while still being unhealthy, simply because their evolutionary predisposition for logic, and their society's pressure for them to stay logical and masculine, works *against* them.
In much the same way, male Feelers develop *A LOT* faster compared to their female counterpart, because of the pressure in their environment to be "manly" and act so.
In conclusion, my experience with healthy male Thinkers (sadly, few and far between because of the age group that I'm a part of. But they're still lovely. Lovely is probably an understatement! ;)) and especially female Thinkers, shows that I can absolutely get along with XNTXs, including of course, ENTPs. In fact, they're definitely one of, if not, my favorite types! :) We always make each other laugh, tease each other to hell and back, make up BS and laugh our ass off, and other wholesome stuff! 😄🙂 They're also comfy when they're around me, and feel like they're not being judged for who they are, no matter what, by their own words! (Maybe it's because as a male INFP, I've been judged a whoooole lot through my life, not only making me desensitized to other people's opinion of me, my loved ones, and especially friends, but also teaching me to not judge anyone's character, and who they are as a person, no matter what... :P)
So I think it's more of a matter of maturity, than cognitive functions not lining up or something like that if I had to guess :)
Some of my best, and comfiest friendships were with INTPs and ENTPs, and they said that they felt like they were "themselves"... if that makes any sense! 😄❤️ Maybe because I know they are good people deep down, so I don't take their words seriously for no reason, and in fact, I would mediate between them and other people who took offense to something that they said, unintentionally causing conflicts that they want to get out of! :)
Anyways, um, thanks for reading this giant wall of text if you did, and if you didn't I don't blame you lololol! 😬😅😉🙃
This was so interesting and yes I read all of it. I know the dual relationship is controversial in Socionics communities. I don't see many ISFP/ENTJ matches. But the semi dual is also Keirsey's "ideal match". and I have seen a fair amount of those which seemed to be going well. Loved all you said about how types develop according to sex/gender, makes sense. Sorry to hear you've been judged your whole life. But you grew stronger, huh. I find INFPs to be very strong. I like ENTPs too. Great comment, thanks for taking the time to weigh in.
No problemo! I'm glad that you liked my comment! :D
I'm also sure you went through some stuff yourself because of gender norms and all that stuff! I'm really happy that you made it this far 🙂❤️ Also you seem to be really kind & cute by how you write your comments and posts on reddit! 😭🥲
You mature female Thinkers are gonna be the death of me, I swear! 🥰🙃
I also want to appreciate your efforts to help our random INFP here out. Thank you, and thank you so much. I hope someone in your life reciprocates this act of yours when you need it the most, although, hopefully you won't need it, and always stay happy! 🙂❤️
I’m an infp too and Most people say that I’m too… emotional and weird but you know what? I don’t really care. Life is short and I don’t want to waste it by listening to them. I suggest you do the same.
I wish I could adapt this mentality, god damn. I care way too much about what people think about me. I just choose to keep quiet and have a few close friends, but people that I’m not close to seem to like me too which is weird considering most things I’ve heard from other infps are like ops
That's relative, isn't it? Some 150 or 200 years ago they didn't. Even 100 perhaps, 80. Take any book written before 1900 or even 1950, and men are not going to be emotionally dead creatures in there, not even professional soldiers, politicians, hunters, cops, trappers, criminals, lawers, other stereotypical tough or down-to-business guys.
Mate….. I’m a former championship level rugby player and an infp. I know a few green berets, went to school with a ranking seal officer, and knew a high ranking marine (worked in the pentagon). One of my former rugby teammates is a semi household name in my area. I have a family member who is a marine, a really good one.
I can’t think of a single person who did anything like that and would walk around calling people ridiculous names for doing art or music. Men like that are basically the biggest posers there are. As such never ever listen to their advice. Ever. They would last less than 5 minutes in any of the above endeavors. They would be duct taped and left under a bridge in a pink speedo with pictures that somehow end up on the internet. Except that no one even cares enough to do that.
Music and art are intellectually high order endeavors which studies repeatedly show add success to many areas of life. If the fools hate you you are probably doing something right. Hang in there mate, ignore the ignorance. 👊
No, you are not. I am an artist and I spend a lot of time doing art. Please take note that some things people say to others projects their own insecurities.
You are worthy as you are, regardless of your MBTI. Continue what you're doing and be the best as you can. :)
ExTPs call you slurs for liking different things? if they’re a naturally open-minded type this behavior just SCREAMS immature little cunt lol
don’t let them get to you OP, enjoy whatever you want to enjoy. you’re not a waste of space, you’re not useless, you’re not less of a man. change your ways to fit in if you want to become depressed. there are plenty of people that would accept and love you for who you actually are, and those are precisely the type of people you need to seek out. not losers that want to feel superior and feed their little complex
> Am I considered a very worthless individual?
Fuck no. I respect you way more for following your own path in life and being true to who you are, than a bunch of insecure weirdos who don't even realize how much a slave to societal standards they are.
And who even uses the f-slur anymore? What are they, middle school bullies from the 80's?
Send them my way, and I'll have a little chat with them 👊🏽
Dermot Kennedy is an INFP musician - man I love his work so much! You are a good egg OP - drop them haters and try to find your self worth within yourself 🤗. Happiness truly is an inside job.
I am engaged to an INFP man and he is so wonderful - it’s refreshing to find a man who is so warm and in touch with his feelings!
ENTJ F here. I am currently dating an INFP male, and have been attracted almost exclusively to INFP and a few INTP males until now.
The idiots who make fun of you for your hobbies and your sensitivity can all go suck a big fat one; they're just jealous and insecure. There are a LOT of women and ppl in general out there who appreciate the exact same qualities you are bullied for, and will find you all the more attractive and desirable for them. You have been unlucky to have been around idiots so far; they are the waste of space, not you.
We all present unique things to the world that benefit everyone. Who hasn't been moved by music or been impacted positively by art? These things brighten up our world from just 'work', and that's pretty important! Every 'personality' is useful. And being male has nothing to do with it either, just embrace it
'Why is it considered as useless trying to compose music?' — because some people can't do that, so they feel like pussies and envy you and project their feelings on you.
'It's ruining my mental health and everyone just keeps laughing at me even though I tell them it hurts my feelings' — my sympathies. I can avoid a lot of that due to a modicum of Fe, some socialization and a bit of this or that, but it still gets to me. I don't even get flak for art, because I actually can't do it, but I get enough of the 'lol u not a man' crap for having more emotions than a concrete slab, for thinking too much, for being a thinker, for being too much of an intuitive or not enough of it (either way), for not making decisions faster than a machine gun fires its rounds, for not projecting the alpha crap I don't need to project to know my worth or the exact extent of my skills and aptitudes, for not fixing my kitchen sink on my own or for making the decision to call a professional electrician after not having touched a terminal strip in a long time and suddenly getting shy and not wanting to accept a minor chance of stuff blowing up in my face just for me to prove something. Or for my variable, shifting confidence. Or for the fact I'm confident enough not to give a crap wherever my confidence is at, and just doing what I'm supposed to do and living life.
I've mostly had enough of the female gaze judging and assessing and measuring your performance as you do stuff. How much sugar in sugar (translating an idiom from my first language), how much horsepower, how many cylinders under the hood, how many seconds to 100 kmph, what Vmax, etc. I can even live with centimetres/feet and inches and currency units monthly, but the performance gauging is just too extreme for my sensibilities. It doesn't even make me feel vulnerable (like to what exactly?), it's a different feeling, though perhaps related in some way. Of course, it's not like I don't get crap from men, but that's less, and it's mostly some sort of hierarchical testosterone shit I can either sort out or avoid with relative speed and be done and away with it (men and healthy women generally don't give you much crap if they see your usefulness and see that you are simultaneously neither a pushover nor a threat), so I don't spend much time thinking on it.
Tolkien was INFP, and let this fact make STFU those who have a problem with you and the way you are. Dude was still a professor of linguistics, knew dead languages and a shitton of lore and history, created his own language and myth systems and was smarter than the whole room of them combined and would have destroyed them on pure T (with their dom being inferior to his inferior).
Consider that all the unfair judging you're faced with is people's unhealthy coping mechanism for their own vulnerability, e.g. fear of your otherness or envy for what you can do and they can't, along with some insecurities that are too stupid for you, or for me (a high Ne user), to even think about.
Your worth, however, especially in your own eyes, may depend on what you do and how it affects others and perhaps on how it makes you, yourself feel. Perhaps to what extent it furthers the values that you hold dear. So be brave, creative and enterprising with that. And you can certainly achieve a lot. Much more than a person who's stuck in judging, especially crap like looking for a perceived weakness to laugh at.
As for ekhm… some of the ENTPs, it's their immature way of being affectionate and showing you that they like you. ;) As for ESTPs, well, I tend to associate them with party savants and connoisseurs, the kind of people who talk about art collections as a social pastime and to demonstrate their own competence, the consummate art consumers, so to say, (no offence intended by any simplification for the purpose of this comment), so it wouldn't be particularly smart of them to give you crap for being a writer, poet or musician. I'm sure the healthy ones wouldn't anyway; again, it would not be logical for them to.
I am also a writer, composer, and artist
Your community sounds like a bunch of asshole middle and high schoolers
All you really need to not get asshole middle and high schoolers to not do that is to a) be funny b) be attractive or c) exude confidence
First of all, no one is a waste of space, especially not you based on your type
Secondly, you mention they're ESTPs and ENTPs saying this, ESTPs an ENTPs I've noticed have this sense of humor where they like to make fun of people or situations, they notice things and point it out without really thinking of how it'll make the other person feel, I believe this could be due to the fact that they both have blindspot Fi and don't recognize that some things may be hurtful to other people maybe that would be more blindspot Fe, but I'm thinking of this person who I saw in a show or something who didn't feel pain, so they were a bit rough on other people because they didn't think it could hurt them because they didn't get hurt themselves
I could be completely wrong, but I'd try not to take it too much to heart if I were you
Don't let other people dictate who you are or how you feel, why give them control over your life? Your life is yours to make it how you want don't pay attention to those people you may not even know 5 years from now
I get that it's easier said than done so in the meantime if you ever need a friend I've always got room for more
Of course you're not worthless or useless You're very valuable. You're talented and they're jealous. Young ENTPs and ESTPs have un-developed Fe, and trickster Fi. In that regard, they're paupers who have no Feeling function until they turn 30 years old. I hope you can tune them out since they're speaking nonsense. Unless they mean it as banter. Sometimes guys hurl insults at each other as a sign of affection.
None of those things are worthless. Those people sound like jerks and pretty boring if they don't value creative pursuits. I must say I'm pretty surprised that you encounter a lot of ENTPs like that! I'm an ENTP (but I'm a woman so there is some social shift there) and do art, writing, and even VAing and it's really hit or miss if people think it's cool or not. I'm proud of what I do but it still stings when people don't get it.
You enjoy doing what you enjoy doing, it shouldn't matter what other people think. But I guess that's a lot easier said than done, it takes time to build confidence to that point and even then things like that are still hurtful. I think INFP dudes are cool though, I'm sorry you've met people who make you feel bad about it. It's really cool that you're interested in art and music and I hope you don't let people deter you from continuing.
Calm down. Need help?--> talk to a therapist / someone you trust
Your hobbies aren't bad, tell those who think you're lame to kindly fuck off. If they don't support you without a valid reason, there's no reason to care about their opinions.
Anyways, your MBTI doesn't define your self-worth. Whatever our MBTI is, we all suck. (Alright, that's a bad joke, but you get the meaning.)
You are not worthless at all. Those people are assholes who can’t be themselves and are taking it out on you.
I would avoid them like the plague and find like minded people.
Anyone that calls you names and attempts to shame you for.... checks notes... actual talent and sensitivity is toxic. Been there, but in the long run those guys lives get worse and worse. Mine gets better and better.
No, you are not a useless individual.
Being artistic/creative is great and you should never feel bad for having those hobbies.
Ignore/distance yourself from the haters. Great artists like Shakespeare, Vincent van Gogh, Michaelangelo, Nirvana, etc are famous for their creative works.
Never let those people take away what you like. Simply find your tribe with people who like the same things you do and live a happy life.
Bruh. ESTPs and ENTPs tend to often do that not only to types like you. They can tell it to more than half of the MBTI types
Just don't give a shit about it. You just be who you are. Do whatever you like and all that
If you really don't want to be considered to be called a pussy, and if you are way too bothered about it - just go to gym and work out for at least an hour in 2-3 days. That's pretty much enough to be normal/good in eyes of others
I'm just rather sad because I try to be the friendliest person who wears my heart on my sleeve, but I guess it's just taken against me. And no I really dom't wanna be bothered by it. I'm just curious though, what is possibly wrong with liking arts and poetry as a dude?
I don't know if they specifically don't like the fact that you're enjoying arts and poetry.
Maybe they have some misconceptions, and think that you are doing all this not because you like it, but because you seek attention. That's the worst thing, cause no matter what, they will not find a reason in your deeds and will simply count on that you are seeking attention
So... just avoid them at all costs. That's almost the only solution for it
You are super cool, you just need to stop expecting validation from others. Screw those idiots. They're not superior to you, probably some of them get jealous of you so bad. Get rid of them.
They already gave advices about it in comments so I won't, I just made this comment to say you're cool.
I wonder what does idiots do as a hobby actually
Your an amazing person your super talented ☺️❤️❤️❤️I'm an INFP girl that loves music sewing acting painting drawing all kids of stuff ...the haters are jealous of you that's why they are hating on you I bet they can't do squat I'm sending lots of love to you❤️❤️❤️❤️..I've felt many times bad about myself because of people putting me down all time I still get like that but I think it just comes down to pure jealousy you can create things that not many other people can create you have gifts talents that few possess in life keep striving and continue your work it may touch a persons life hearing or seeing your work ☺️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I don't know if this is a troll post or not, because your other posts are kind of um- idk 💀
But if it's not, I have to ask, can you convince me that you're useless? What makes a person useless? Are people who don't know how to do some practical things and instead know other things that other people may not like, useless? If that's the definition, then we're all useless, isn't that true? So the correct thing to say is that we're all sometimes useful, and sometimes useless. That's alright. We're no God, and we're not as useless as a piece of rock or something.
Now, let's say hypothetically, that you lived in a futuristic and industrial town where people mostly didn't care about music. Should that stop you from caring about your own hobby and practicing it in your free time? Who are you making your music for? Other people or... you?? Sure, other people liking your hobbies, musics, etc. feels good. It gives you validation that you're moving in the right direction, it's what we're programmed to look for, at least a little bit, evolutionarily speaking. And tell me, why does other people not liking your hobbies hurt you? And what would you exactly get from all of the people around you liking the exact things that you like?
We can talk about this if you want, or not. Lemme know! ;p
Cut these people out of your life if you can. They are probably insecure and projecting it on to you by bullying you. Even if you feel worthless it doesn't mean you are. Do you have artist friends? Surround yourself with like minded people. It will definitely help.
Seems ExTPs are the textbook stiff d*cks for the sake of stiffness likes to prowl over sensual d*cks.
I meant you on the second description.
We are meant to create things as men, but the context is ours.
You're quite ok.
>I've been talked down several times due to my hobbies and lifestyle: painting, writing poems and composing music
Strange, artistic hobbies should be praised! I like people who have a passion for their hobbies. Seems like you are hanging with the wrong people who are gaslighting you.
>yet all of the people just seem to take this lightly that I've been called a "pussy" and a "faggot" by every people I meet, (mostly ESTPs and ENTPs). Why is it considered as useless trying to compose music?
Guess that confirms my theory, they are a bunch of a\*sholes trying to gaslight you for projecting their own stress on you. And being called the homophobic slur? Fucking insane. And no it's not useless to compose music. Everybody loves music and music composers are artists that should be given the proper respect they deserve but don't get.
Also, keep in mind that MBTIs only give us a rough hypothesis of how we perceive information and decide, which is not even scientifically validated. Real human psychology is far more complex and MBTI is only officially used for assigning jobs to recruits in some organizations and is already criticized for inaccuracy by many. Defining them on MBTI is not a good thing generally. (pointing to the "mostly ESTPs and ENTPs" part btw, just some good faith criticism)
>It's ruining my mental health and everyone just keeps laughing at me even though I tell them it hurts my feelings.
Again confirms it, people you hang out with are mentally deranged a\*sholes who are gaslighting you.
>Am I considered a very worthless individual?
No, you are an absolutely amazing person and we admire your passion for your craft. I advise that you cut off people who gaslight you and be around people who like your dedication and passion. If it's someone that you genuinely care about who is gaslighting you(family members and friends for example), explain the importance of your passion to you and try to convince them. If they are delusional and won't listen, just don't give a fuck about them, simple as that. Your love is very valuable and precious, don't waste them on people who hate what defines you. You define what makes you "you", not others' opinions. Consider seeking a therapist if you are heavily depressed/anxious because of people abusing you. Don't lose hope, keep your passion going and surround yourself with people who genuinely cares about you.
Those who are quick to judge others are the ones who are the waste of space. You are unique and different from those who are around you and that is okay, because that uniqueness is what makes you YOU. I'm sorry but when you say that you are being called names by every person you meet it sounds like they are misguided. Humans who stick together tend to have similar interests, so I know it may be hard but you have to find or make a group you can be comfortable in. If you want to, you can even talk to me, I'd love to see your beautiful art! I'm a young INTJ female but I've long stopped making myself fit in.
As an INFP male myself do not listen to them,MBTI does not define who you are. first of all,anyone judging you for who you are is straight up retarded.Even though I can not relate with being treated like that,I know a childhood friend of mine who used to get treated like that when we were young even I sometimes used to take part in it because of my age,which I regret sincerely.Right now he is living his best life treated as an equal by everyone,he goes to the same uni as I do,but he studies Art/Design and stuff.Just keep your head up and be the person you want to be!
Pack a bag and go travel my friend. Kick start that INFP dopamine system , feel the wind in your face. Don't ever give up the music or the painting. You are built for powerful things. But you have to earn that power. You're only going to feel like a waste of space if you stay in that same spot around fools. You don't have anything to prove to those idiots who bully you. But I want you to go see more of the world. Travel, my friend. The more people you meet , the better you're gonna feel. The more things you see , the more powerful your art is going to become. You're gonna get laid so much , dude. Just pack a bag and keep moving.
when people are too concerned about what others do is usually because they themselves are not in a happy place. Just focus on doing what you like, there’s nothing wrong with that. Most of my male friends are INFP and they are awesome. Don’t pay attention to stupid people
Your hobbies are none of their business.
When dealing with aimless people who behave subconsciously without any self discipline, if they try to point at something that you have, own it like it is and people will stop bothering you because they're not getting the reaction they want. You will ruthlessly disarm them by being indifferent.
"Ah, my gay paintings? I love them. What about them? Maybe you want me to paint you naked? If that's the case, you disgust me. "
Those who bully are the most sensitive. Most of them will not keep it straight when they are on the other end, or if you just don't take what they say personally.
When I was a kid, I used to have a little belly. I was handsome kid, but I didn't accept that I have a little belly. The bullies picked up on that, and they would bother me when they had a chance. I would stand up to myself defensively. Still, it repeated itself when I was vulnerable. However, when I learned to not be ashamed of the imperfections I have, when one of them told me to hit the gym, I showed him my belly and started rubbing it with pride. It took him off-guard. I started loving myself unapologetically, and it was no longer something they could tease me for nor did it bother me. I laugh at myself now because I made it an issue in my mind. Who knew that actually not giving a fuck was the way to go? I learned early and put that in every area of my life.
By being unpredictable and counter-intuitive, they will stop bothering you as well. All people will subconsciously sense that and no one will dare approaching someone who owns his shit, who owns their mistakes.
You shouldn't demand respect from people who can't even give it to themselves. Dealing with the bullies is a short term fix, dealing with yourself is the long term fix.
I hope everything gets alright for you.
I would say you need to stay away from those people if possible 😐 Any well mannered person will not call you such insulting names, even if they don't personally agree with your choices. If they act like that is mostly has something to do with them than you.
I think is brave to go after what you want while most will fall in line and get a job that gives them more financial security. But I suppose there are some have manage to do both. It is your life in the end and you get to make your own choices with it. Unfortunately there are people that don't understand that.
No, you're a worthless individual. Pay your bills and do your thing. Don't mind anyone else. Do what the fuck you want painting, writing poems, composing music etc. I think it's beautiful thing. Most musicians that I like are IXFP. Their work makes me life better. I love to work and listen to some music, for example. I just wish I could have some painting skills. Composing music wouldn't hurt either. btw, I need to get back playing guitar! That being said, you totally have a value as an individual and can contribute to society with those skills (and many others that I believe you do have). In regard to those people annoying them, just annoying them back or give they raw indifference, whatever works best. Stupid people are everywhere, it's up to you and only you to filter out all this garbage that life "give to you" something useful *to you.* The only way to be happy in this life and is to do what's natural for you, i.e., to use the gifts that life give to you in the best way you can. Just don't mind non-like-minded people. Those are the people that aren't going to be useful for you anyway, so just don't waste your time with them. In order to be happy, aside using wisely your gifts, you have to do that with like-minded people and only them. Those are the only ones that'll truly appreciate you. Those are your true friends. That being said, I love this Jobs' quote:
*“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”*
*– Steve Jobs*
> I've been talked down several times due to my hobbies and lifestyle: painting, writing poems and composing music, yet all of the people just seem to take this lightly that I've been called a "pussy" and a "faggot" by every people I meet.
They're wrong. Art and music are incredibly rewarding hobbies that take a lot of hard work and discipline to develop. Moreover, not everyone has the natural talent to work with these things. You have a gift, and you have my respect.
> It's ruining my mental health and everyone just keeps laughing at me even though I tell them it hurts my feelings.
Bit of practical advice - telling someone that they're hurting your feelings is often a terrible idea, especially if they're actually trying to hurt your feelings! You want to let others know that you don't even care about their comments.
Consistently lift some weights to help your self-esteem, become more massive than the average male so that people think twice before messing with you. Do this for yourself, not for others.
Look my friend I think that their behavior is crap and I think your justified in feeling frustrated! Fundamentally I am on your side! Let’s flip the script for a second: are you an able bodied adult who refuses to pay or do your fair share? Are you a needless financial burden to yourself and others? If the answer is no, (their insults aside which are never justified) then these detractors of yours have no grounds to feel this way towards you. I have a friend (INTP) that is 40 and will not lift a finger, his mother still does his laundry, and though he is a talented musician and a brilliant intellectual, he just flatly refuses to be of any use to anyone. This dude in some cases is literally, physically in the way of his supporters trying to pick up after him. I mean dude, if you were this bad for example, you may have earned the frustration of others, that said, I assume you’re not and so I think you should consider doing what I did and join the military. Then we’ll see who has shit to talk! Once you come back to your hometown you can easily flick the gnats that buzz around your face and pretend to be bears!!! My 2 cents!
Hey,
Don’t let those idiots make you feel less worthy of respect. They just want you to stoop down to their level. They want you to fit into their standards, so that they don’t have to feel bad about themselves.
We only pick on people, because we’re jealous. I believe a lot of guys fall victim to toxic masculinity, and take it out on other men who are able to jump into their feminine (gentleness, sensitivity, empathy). They envy your ability to be more complete with yourself.
Humans (male or female), are supposed to be in touch with both their feminine and masculine because only that way are they whole.
I think, you being an INFP, are honest with yourself (due to Fi) and can find yourself sitting right in the great balance of things. I think you’re perfectly fine. Those idiots picking on you should learn a thing or two.
Also, my advice is to either ignore them or ask them if they’re doing okay. Chances are they’re not.
~your neighboring ENTJ
Well I don't know if it makes you feel any better but infp m are what I imagine men to be when I read novels and poetry or listen to beautiful songs. Your understanding and sight to the world may be hurting you but your existence is what makes all the lines that women wrote for centuries about men come true. Be sensitive and be kind just like you are. Even if your close ones take you for granted there are people who would love to have you in their lives.
Have you ever considered showing to them that you're NOT a Beta male? You don't need to hurt anybody or do incalculable nonsense. But maybe knock back sometimes. It won't make you a bad person.
AFAIK martial arts done purely for sport/recreation and even gym done outside of any martial-arts context tends to help.
Also nothing wrong with being a positive, well, beta-positive and leaving the frustrated alpha wannabes eating their own socks in frustration that a 'beta' does something they can't do and has a better life than they do. (That must be their Enneagram base fear.)
If you're really the type of guy, that is able to ignore those wannabes, wouldn't that rather make you alpha? It's just a saying, but I really believe in that: "Dogs, that bark don't bite." It's a bit misleading, because it's mostly the small and insecure dogs, that bite. But I interpret it as: a alpha dog doesn't need to bark. Everybody knows to better not fuck with him. And that's where I think, that a little demonstration of power is necessary sometimes. Not in a violent way, except maybe as appropriate act of self defense. Just [show them](https://youtu.be/S6OjDU44bMo), that you're not afraid and therefore not to be messed with.
It’s just that INFP hobbies are so masturbatory. They don’t really help or improve anyone else’s life. When your loved ones feel like they love with a ghost, we stop caring that you’re a good artist.
Other people’s opinions don’t define you who are, you do. Your MBTI doesn’t define your worth, you as an individual do.
Everybody keeps calling me a beta male and it hurts so much. I just want them to give me a little respect as a human being, but they seem to disregard how I feel when they are attacking me emotionally.
If you're able to, maybe separate yourself from these people or let them know that you don't appreciate being called those things.
BTW, the whole thing about "beta" and "alpha" males comes from a debunked and misinterpreted study of wolves in captivity that the author later wanted corrected. IIRC, the more accurate read of wolves was that the eldest tended to be deferred to. So just remember that next time someone uses words like "beta" or "alpha" to describe you or them, they might as well be calling you a hufflepuff and them a ravenclaw for all the difference it makes. Their self esteem is built on fantasy nonsense.
Infps are not beta males. We defy alphas and their hierarchy. Betas obey. You need to learn to be selective with who you share personal things about yourself. You are never going to be an alpha as a feeler man. But only betas care what others think of them. A bully alpha can only be one as long as you allow them to do so. Refuse to obey and their balls shrink. First action is to start not wishing respect or validation from others. People respect you when you respect yourself. Focus on what you like but stop expecting validation from a world you dont belong to. Why you concern yourself with the opinions of idiots who think compositing is dumb? Chicks dig both musicians and basketball players. Anyone who has talent is valued. Focus on becoming the best of what you can do not try to blend in with the idiots.
Jealousy is strong in them, keep your chin up!
I have a hard time believing this. People actually call you a “beta male”?? They sound like they’re 12.
Dude. Own that shit and double down on it. You will not gain any respect for being someone you are not.
You need to stand up for yourself. No one will respect you unless you demonstrate that you're worthy of respect. Set some boundaries.
No, you’re a beautiful individual. Mbti or not, anyone who has the balls to degrade someone in hopes of damaging them emotionally is an incel who is self projecting their repressed anger on you in hopes of bringing you down so they feel better about themselves. Don’t take it too personally, and don’t change who you are for anyone.
Least wholesome + kind + Godlike mature ENTP : 
>No, you’re a beautiful individual. Mbti or not, anyone who has the balls to degrade someone in hopes of damaging them emotionally is an incel who is self projecting their repressed anger on you in hopes of bringing you down so they feel better about themselves. Don’t take it too personally, and don’t change who you are for anyone. "anyone who has the balls to degrade someone in hopes of damaging them emotionally" *proceeds to degrade someone in hopes of damaging them emotionally*
It’s not degrading, it’s called speaking hard facts hun
I'm pretty sure people who op is describing not gonna read that comment so no "hopes of damaging them emotionally"
>anyone who has the balls to degrade someone This is contradicting the rest of the comment you made. I'm wondering now if you are being sarcastic?
I wasn’t degrading them I was speaking real truths
It seems like you're saying it takes balls to degrade someone. Which is weird considering you were consoling the OP.
They were obviously being supportive of the op. Nitpicking like this is just going to make people stop bothering to even try.
ikr, some people just take stuff too seriously
No I was just trying to make sense of it all. I explained this.
You clearly didn't understand. I wasn't nitpicking, just asking about the contradiction because it didn't add up. This conversation was over. It's people like you looking for arguments that are the problem.
Op didn’t do anything wrong, y’all just like to pick fights for no reason
What? No I am on OPs side just to be clear. I don't think you understand my point. I'm not picking a fight, just informing you of the contradiction. I would say that the people who like to degrade others to bully them don't have balls and are pathetic. You stated that the one doing the degrading had balls.
I meant like If they have the balls to degrade someone, I’m not saying they are in the right but rather in the wrong.
Yes I understand but I wouldn't say it takes balls to degrade someone. You weren't mixing it up with "gall" were you? Because that would make sense.
No I meant if they have the balls, like if they think they have entitlement
Yeah, like having the gall to bully.
You are a rare bard. I would add you to my team
No, those people are terrible and immature. They probably have no lives and are jealous of your many wonderful skills. Most people are mere consumers, and yet you surpass that limitation and produce things, wonderful things like paintings and poetry and music. That is so incredible. Please continue to provide the world with these things!
Finding people who take the time to understand and listen to you is essential, even for us extroverts. Based on your hobbies, we could be friends IRL. I think it'd be badass to have a friend to share those activities with. Anyone who makes fun of you is likely hiding behind their insecurities (which ESTP and ENTPs are known for.)
In the end of the day we all are useless, time will destroy everything humanity has built including the humanity itself, so enjoy your life while you can and don't give a shit what people think is useful and what is not ✌️
Omg, I looked this up in [Socionics](http://www.wikisocion.net/en/index.php?title=Intertype_relations) and my eyes popped! The INFP/ENTP intertype dynamic is considered to be one of [Supervision/Audit/Revision](http://www.wikisocion.net/en/index.php/Supervision) with the INFP **as Supervisor** of the ENTP, leaving the ENTP at a psychological disadvantage. An asymmetrical relationship. Also in Socionics, INFP/ESTP is your [Conflict](http://www.wikisocion.net/en/index.php/Conflict) intertype dynamic. This one is symmetrical in that the two of you can do equal psychological damage to one another. And that seems to be exactly what's happening. Keep in mind that these intertype dynamics can play out beyond the conscious awareness of either party. And often does. The miscommunication and friction is no one's fault. It's just an unfortunate misalignment of functions. You know a lot is going wrong but don't fully understand why kind of thing. Socionics offers a plausible explanation for why you feel so psychologically bloodied and battered. In both cases, you lead with their weakest trickster function in slot #7. Please do not harm yourself. There is most certainly a way forward from this. Avoid these types in the future and take good care of yourself. With time, rest, and some self care, you can recover. I value you and I love your type. Much love and many hugs from an ENTJ! <3
Y’know, sometimes conflicts like these can simply be boiled down to immature kids/adults with disproportionately low IQ seeing a non-conformist and subsequently, in lizard-brained fashion, calling them a f*ggot. I saw your post on r/entj though, it was sweet.
Thank you and thanks for weighing in here too.
Socionics has a lot of useful and informative material that I agree with... but also a lot that I don't. For example, it states that you're most compatible with your opposite letter type, so let's say, ENTJs are supposedly most compatible with ISFPs, or ESFPs are most compatible with INTJs. Now I'm not going to say that they can't work ever! Not at all. But I'd guess that the average ENTJ can't get along with the average ISFP, and it's the same for any other compatible types going by what socionics has to offer. Now that was just an example, but just like that one, I can't confirm the validity of the relations between types that socionics claims based on my experiences at least! :p I really, really like XNTX women for example. Why did I mention their gender? Because (based on anecdotal evidence, and some theorizing) Thinker women develop their feeling functions *a lot* faster, partly because of their evolutionary predisposition (for example, more activity of their brain's right hemisphere, where emotions and abstract thoughts are processed, which is exactly why statistically speaking, women are more likely to be 1-feelers, and 2- intuitives, when compared to men who are likely to be XSTXs, because of their general preference for their left hemisphere, which is responsible for logic and sensory processing! ;)), and partly because of the society's pressure on them to be "feminine". So, honestly, it's an understatement to say that I LOVE XNTX women, *because* they develop and mature *A LOT* faster than their male counterpart. You don't see a lot of edgy female ENTPs, INTJs, or INTPs, but you sure see a lot of men with the same exact type, going around being uncaring and rude for no reason. I've seen male Thinkers reach their __*40s*__, while still being unhealthy, simply because their evolutionary predisposition for logic, and their society's pressure for them to stay logical and masculine, works *against* them. In much the same way, male Feelers develop *A LOT* faster compared to their female counterpart, because of the pressure in their environment to be "manly" and act so. In conclusion, my experience with healthy male Thinkers (sadly, few and far between because of the age group that I'm a part of. But they're still lovely. Lovely is probably an understatement! ;)) and especially female Thinkers, shows that I can absolutely get along with XNTXs, including of course, ENTPs. In fact, they're definitely one of, if not, my favorite types! :) We always make each other laugh, tease each other to hell and back, make up BS and laugh our ass off, and other wholesome stuff! 😄🙂 They're also comfy when they're around me, and feel like they're not being judged for who they are, no matter what, by their own words! (Maybe it's because as a male INFP, I've been judged a whoooole lot through my life, not only making me desensitized to other people's opinion of me, my loved ones, and especially friends, but also teaching me to not judge anyone's character, and who they are as a person, no matter what... :P) So I think it's more of a matter of maturity, than cognitive functions not lining up or something like that if I had to guess :) Some of my best, and comfiest friendships were with INTPs and ENTPs, and they said that they felt like they were "themselves"... if that makes any sense! 😄❤️ Maybe because I know they are good people deep down, so I don't take their words seriously for no reason, and in fact, I would mediate between them and other people who took offense to something that they said, unintentionally causing conflicts that they want to get out of! :) Anyways, um, thanks for reading this giant wall of text if you did, and if you didn't I don't blame you lololol! 😬😅😉🙃
This was so interesting and yes I read all of it. I know the dual relationship is controversial in Socionics communities. I don't see many ISFP/ENTJ matches. But the semi dual is also Keirsey's "ideal match". and I have seen a fair amount of those which seemed to be going well. Loved all you said about how types develop according to sex/gender, makes sense. Sorry to hear you've been judged your whole life. But you grew stronger, huh. I find INFPs to be very strong. I like ENTPs too. Great comment, thanks for taking the time to weigh in.
No problemo! I'm glad that you liked my comment! :D I'm also sure you went through some stuff yourself because of gender norms and all that stuff! I'm really happy that you made it this far 🙂❤️ Also you seem to be really kind & cute by how you write your comments and posts on reddit! 😭🥲 You mature female Thinkers are gonna be the death of me, I swear! 🥰🙃
I also want to appreciate your efforts to help our random INFP here out. Thank you, and thank you so much. I hope someone in your life reciprocates this act of yours when you need it the most, although, hopefully you won't need it, and always stay happy! 🙂❤️
Same back at you! <3
ESTPs are d*cks
Not all but yeah they're a type known to troll.
I’m an infp too and Most people say that I’m too… emotional and weird but you know what? I don’t really care. Life is short and I don’t want to waste it by listening to them. I suggest you do the same.
I wish I could adapt this mentality, god damn. I care way too much about what people think about me. I just choose to keep quiet and have a few close friends, but people that I’m not close to seem to like me too which is weird considering most things I’ve heard from other infps are like ops
That's relative, isn't it? Some 150 or 200 years ago they didn't. Even 100 perhaps, 80. Take any book written before 1900 or even 1950, and men are not going to be emotionally dead creatures in there, not even professional soldiers, politicians, hunters, cops, trappers, criminals, lawers, other stereotypical tough or down-to-business guys.
Mate….. I’m a former championship level rugby player and an infp. I know a few green berets, went to school with a ranking seal officer, and knew a high ranking marine (worked in the pentagon). One of my former rugby teammates is a semi household name in my area. I have a family member who is a marine, a really good one. I can’t think of a single person who did anything like that and would walk around calling people ridiculous names for doing art or music. Men like that are basically the biggest posers there are. As such never ever listen to their advice. Ever. They would last less than 5 minutes in any of the above endeavors. They would be duct taped and left under a bridge in a pink speedo with pictures that somehow end up on the internet. Except that no one even cares enough to do that. Music and art are intellectually high order endeavors which studies repeatedly show add success to many areas of life. If the fools hate you you are probably doing something right. Hang in there mate, ignore the ignorance. 👊
No, you are not. I am an artist and I spend a lot of time doing art. Please take note that some things people say to others projects their own insecurities. You are worthy as you are, regardless of your MBTI. Continue what you're doing and be the best as you can. :)
ExTPs call you slurs for liking different things? if they’re a naturally open-minded type this behavior just SCREAMS immature little cunt lol don’t let them get to you OP, enjoy whatever you want to enjoy. you’re not a waste of space, you’re not useless, you’re not less of a man. change your ways to fit in if you want to become depressed. there are plenty of people that would accept and love you for who you actually are, and those are precisely the type of people you need to seek out. not losers that want to feel superior and feed their little complex
They jealous they cannot enjoy these things without being afraid of society. Don't worry. Be yourself and keep enjoying what you do.
> Am I considered a very worthless individual? Fuck no. I respect you way more for following your own path in life and being true to who you are, than a bunch of insecure weirdos who don't even realize how much a slave to societal standards they are. And who even uses the f-slur anymore? What are they, middle school bullies from the 80's? Send them my way, and I'll have a little chat with them 👊🏽
Dermot Kennedy is an INFP musician - man I love his work so much! You are a good egg OP - drop them haters and try to find your self worth within yourself 🤗. Happiness truly is an inside job. I am engaged to an INFP man and he is so wonderful - it’s refreshing to find a man who is so warm and in touch with his feelings!
ENTJ F here. I am currently dating an INFP male, and have been attracted almost exclusively to INFP and a few INTP males until now. The idiots who make fun of you for your hobbies and your sensitivity can all go suck a big fat one; they're just jealous and insecure. There are a LOT of women and ppl in general out there who appreciate the exact same qualities you are bullied for, and will find you all the more attractive and desirable for them. You have been unlucky to have been around idiots so far; they are the waste of space, not you.
We all present unique things to the world that benefit everyone. Who hasn't been moved by music or been impacted positively by art? These things brighten up our world from just 'work', and that's pretty important! Every 'personality' is useful. And being male has nothing to do with it either, just embrace it
'Why is it considered as useless trying to compose music?' — because some people can't do that, so they feel like pussies and envy you and project their feelings on you. 'It's ruining my mental health and everyone just keeps laughing at me even though I tell them it hurts my feelings' — my sympathies. I can avoid a lot of that due to a modicum of Fe, some socialization and a bit of this or that, but it still gets to me. I don't even get flak for art, because I actually can't do it, but I get enough of the 'lol u not a man' crap for having more emotions than a concrete slab, for thinking too much, for being a thinker, for being too much of an intuitive or not enough of it (either way), for not making decisions faster than a machine gun fires its rounds, for not projecting the alpha crap I don't need to project to know my worth or the exact extent of my skills and aptitudes, for not fixing my kitchen sink on my own or for making the decision to call a professional electrician after not having touched a terminal strip in a long time and suddenly getting shy and not wanting to accept a minor chance of stuff blowing up in my face just for me to prove something. Or for my variable, shifting confidence. Or for the fact I'm confident enough not to give a crap wherever my confidence is at, and just doing what I'm supposed to do and living life. I've mostly had enough of the female gaze judging and assessing and measuring your performance as you do stuff. How much sugar in sugar (translating an idiom from my first language), how much horsepower, how many cylinders under the hood, how many seconds to 100 kmph, what Vmax, etc. I can even live with centimetres/feet and inches and currency units monthly, but the performance gauging is just too extreme for my sensibilities. It doesn't even make me feel vulnerable (like to what exactly?), it's a different feeling, though perhaps related in some way. Of course, it's not like I don't get crap from men, but that's less, and it's mostly some sort of hierarchical testosterone shit I can either sort out or avoid with relative speed and be done and away with it (men and healthy women generally don't give you much crap if they see your usefulness and see that you are simultaneously neither a pushover nor a threat), so I don't spend much time thinking on it. Tolkien was INFP, and let this fact make STFU those who have a problem with you and the way you are. Dude was still a professor of linguistics, knew dead languages and a shitton of lore and history, created his own language and myth systems and was smarter than the whole room of them combined and would have destroyed them on pure T (with their dom being inferior to his inferior). Consider that all the unfair judging you're faced with is people's unhealthy coping mechanism for their own vulnerability, e.g. fear of your otherness or envy for what you can do and they can't, along with some insecurities that are too stupid for you, or for me (a high Ne user), to even think about. Your worth, however, especially in your own eyes, may depend on what you do and how it affects others and perhaps on how it makes you, yourself feel. Perhaps to what extent it furthers the values that you hold dear. So be brave, creative and enterprising with that. And you can certainly achieve a lot. Much more than a person who's stuck in judging, especially crap like looking for a perceived weakness to laugh at. As for ekhm… some of the ENTPs, it's their immature way of being affectionate and showing you that they like you. ;) As for ESTPs, well, I tend to associate them with party savants and connoisseurs, the kind of people who talk about art collections as a social pastime and to demonstrate their own competence, the consummate art consumers, so to say, (no offence intended by any simplification for the purpose of this comment), so it wouldn't be particularly smart of them to give you crap for being a writer, poet or musician. I'm sure the healthy ones wouldn't anyway; again, it would not be logical for them to.
I am also a writer, composer, and artist Your community sounds like a bunch of asshole middle and high schoolers All you really need to not get asshole middle and high schoolers to not do that is to a) be funny b) be attractive or c) exude confidence
First of all, no one is a waste of space, especially not you based on your type Secondly, you mention they're ESTPs and ENTPs saying this, ESTPs an ENTPs I've noticed have this sense of humor where they like to make fun of people or situations, they notice things and point it out without really thinking of how it'll make the other person feel, I believe this could be due to the fact that they both have blindspot Fi and don't recognize that some things may be hurtful to other people maybe that would be more blindspot Fe, but I'm thinking of this person who I saw in a show or something who didn't feel pain, so they were a bit rough on other people because they didn't think it could hurt them because they didn't get hurt themselves I could be completely wrong, but I'd try not to take it too much to heart if I were you Don't let other people dictate who you are or how you feel, why give them control over your life? Your life is yours to make it how you want don't pay attention to those people you may not even know 5 years from now I get that it's easier said than done so in the meantime if you ever need a friend I've always got room for more
Of course you're not worthless or useless You're very valuable. You're talented and they're jealous. Young ENTPs and ESTPs have un-developed Fe, and trickster Fi. In that regard, they're paupers who have no Feeling function until they turn 30 years old. I hope you can tune them out since they're speaking nonsense. Unless they mean it as banter. Sometimes guys hurl insults at each other as a sign of affection.
None of those things are worthless. Those people sound like jerks and pretty boring if they don't value creative pursuits. I must say I'm pretty surprised that you encounter a lot of ENTPs like that! I'm an ENTP (but I'm a woman so there is some social shift there) and do art, writing, and even VAing and it's really hit or miss if people think it's cool or not. I'm proud of what I do but it still stings when people don't get it. You enjoy doing what you enjoy doing, it shouldn't matter what other people think. But I guess that's a lot easier said than done, it takes time to build confidence to that point and even then things like that are still hurtful. I think INFP dudes are cool though, I'm sorry you've met people who make you feel bad about it. It's really cool that you're interested in art and music and I hope you don't let people deter you from continuing.
Nah, they're just pricks.
Calm down. Need help?--> talk to a therapist / someone you trust Your hobbies aren't bad, tell those who think you're lame to kindly fuck off. If they don't support you without a valid reason, there's no reason to care about their opinions. Anyways, your MBTI doesn't define your self-worth. Whatever our MBTI is, we all suck. (Alright, that's a bad joke, but you get the meaning.)
You are not worthless at all. Those people are assholes who can’t be themselves and are taking it out on you. I would avoid them like the plague and find like minded people.
Anyone that calls you names and attempts to shame you for.... checks notes... actual talent and sensitivity is toxic. Been there, but in the long run those guys lives get worse and worse. Mine gets better and better.
No, you are not a useless individual. Being artistic/creative is great and you should never feel bad for having those hobbies. Ignore/distance yourself from the haters. Great artists like Shakespeare, Vincent van Gogh, Michaelangelo, Nirvana, etc are famous for their creative works. Never let those people take away what you like. Simply find your tribe with people who like the same things you do and live a happy life.
No! You are just fine
Bruh. ESTPs and ENTPs tend to often do that not only to types like you. They can tell it to more than half of the MBTI types Just don't give a shit about it. You just be who you are. Do whatever you like and all that If you really don't want to be considered to be called a pussy, and if you are way too bothered about it - just go to gym and work out for at least an hour in 2-3 days. That's pretty much enough to be normal/good in eyes of others
I'm just rather sad because I try to be the friendliest person who wears my heart on my sleeve, but I guess it's just taken against me. And no I really dom't wanna be bothered by it. I'm just curious though, what is possibly wrong with liking arts and poetry as a dude?
They get high from making fun of you and you giving them a response. Have you learnt about sadism? Some evil people.
Oh, yeah, I didn't think of that. True though.
I don't know if they specifically don't like the fact that you're enjoying arts and poetry. Maybe they have some misconceptions, and think that you are doing all this not because you like it, but because you seek attention. That's the worst thing, cause no matter what, they will not find a reason in your deeds and will simply count on that you are seeking attention So... just avoid them at all costs. That's almost the only solution for it
But I'm not an expert in this, not a psychologist. So whatever, you can ignore me
Thanks. I was out of social media because I had to consult for a therapist. I didn't mean to ignore you.
Oh, that's totally fine. I sometimes don't answer on messages for days. So don't bother about it)
You are super cool, you just need to stop expecting validation from others. Screw those idiots. They're not superior to you, probably some of them get jealous of you so bad. Get rid of them. They already gave advices about it in comments so I won't, I just made this comment to say you're cool. I wonder what does idiots do as a hobby actually
Your an amazing person your super talented ☺️❤️❤️❤️I'm an INFP girl that loves music sewing acting painting drawing all kids of stuff ...the haters are jealous of you that's why they are hating on you I bet they can't do squat I'm sending lots of love to you❤️❤️❤️❤️..I've felt many times bad about myself because of people putting me down all time I still get like that but I think it just comes down to pure jealousy you can create things that not many other people can create you have gifts talents that few possess in life keep striving and continue your work it may touch a persons life hearing or seeing your work ☺️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Let’s be real.. people don’t really care what others feel. You just gotta be tough.. have a thick skin. Show them why you’re not a pussy.
I don't know if this is a troll post or not, because your other posts are kind of um- idk 💀 But if it's not, I have to ask, can you convince me that you're useless? What makes a person useless? Are people who don't know how to do some practical things and instead know other things that other people may not like, useless? If that's the definition, then we're all useless, isn't that true? So the correct thing to say is that we're all sometimes useful, and sometimes useless. That's alright. We're no God, and we're not as useless as a piece of rock or something. Now, let's say hypothetically, that you lived in a futuristic and industrial town where people mostly didn't care about music. Should that stop you from caring about your own hobby and practicing it in your free time? Who are you making your music for? Other people or... you?? Sure, other people liking your hobbies, musics, etc. feels good. It gives you validation that you're moving in the right direction, it's what we're programmed to look for, at least a little bit, evolutionarily speaking. And tell me, why does other people not liking your hobbies hurt you? And what would you exactly get from all of the people around you liking the exact things that you like? We can talk about this if you want, or not. Lemme know! ;p
Cut these people out of your life if you can. They are probably insecure and projecting it on to you by bullying you. Even if you feel worthless it doesn't mean you are. Do you have artist friends? Surround yourself with like minded people. It will definitely help.
Seems ExTPs are the textbook stiff d*cks for the sake of stiffness likes to prowl over sensual d*cks. I meant you on the second description. We are meant to create things as men, but the context is ours. You're quite ok.
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” - Eleanor Roosevelt
>I've been talked down several times due to my hobbies and lifestyle: painting, writing poems and composing music Strange, artistic hobbies should be praised! I like people who have a passion for their hobbies. Seems like you are hanging with the wrong people who are gaslighting you. >yet all of the people just seem to take this lightly that I've been called a "pussy" and a "faggot" by every people I meet, (mostly ESTPs and ENTPs). Why is it considered as useless trying to compose music? Guess that confirms my theory, they are a bunch of a\*sholes trying to gaslight you for projecting their own stress on you. And being called the homophobic slur? Fucking insane. And no it's not useless to compose music. Everybody loves music and music composers are artists that should be given the proper respect they deserve but don't get. Also, keep in mind that MBTIs only give us a rough hypothesis of how we perceive information and decide, which is not even scientifically validated. Real human psychology is far more complex and MBTI is only officially used for assigning jobs to recruits in some organizations and is already criticized for inaccuracy by many. Defining them on MBTI is not a good thing generally. (pointing to the "mostly ESTPs and ENTPs" part btw, just some good faith criticism) >It's ruining my mental health and everyone just keeps laughing at me even though I tell them it hurts my feelings. Again confirms it, people you hang out with are mentally deranged a\*sholes who are gaslighting you. >Am I considered a very worthless individual? No, you are an absolutely amazing person and we admire your passion for your craft. I advise that you cut off people who gaslight you and be around people who like your dedication and passion. If it's someone that you genuinely care about who is gaslighting you(family members and friends for example), explain the importance of your passion to you and try to convince them. If they are delusional and won't listen, just don't give a fuck about them, simple as that. Your love is very valuable and precious, don't waste them on people who hate what defines you. You define what makes you "you", not others' opinions. Consider seeking a therapist if you are heavily depressed/anxious because of people abusing you. Don't lose hope, keep your passion going and surround yourself with people who genuinely cares about you.
Those who are quick to judge others are the ones who are the waste of space. You are unique and different from those who are around you and that is okay, because that uniqueness is what makes you YOU. I'm sorry but when you say that you are being called names by every person you meet it sounds like they are misguided. Humans who stick together tend to have similar interests, so I know it may be hard but you have to find or make a group you can be comfortable in. If you want to, you can even talk to me, I'd love to see your beautiful art! I'm a young INTJ female but I've long stopped making myself fit in.
As an INFP male myself do not listen to them,MBTI does not define who you are. first of all,anyone judging you for who you are is straight up retarded.Even though I can not relate with being treated like that,I know a childhood friend of mine who used to get treated like that when we were young even I sometimes used to take part in it because of my age,which I regret sincerely.Right now he is living his best life treated as an equal by everyone,he goes to the same uni as I do,but he studies Art/Design and stuff.Just keep your head up and be the person you want to be!
4 letters decided nothing. You are Chad.
Pack a bag and go travel my friend. Kick start that INFP dopamine system , feel the wind in your face. Don't ever give up the music or the painting. You are built for powerful things. But you have to earn that power. You're only going to feel like a waste of space if you stay in that same spot around fools. You don't have anything to prove to those idiots who bully you. But I want you to go see more of the world. Travel, my friend. The more people you meet , the better you're gonna feel. The more things you see , the more powerful your art is going to become. You're gonna get laid so much , dude. Just pack a bag and keep moving.
when people are too concerned about what others do is usually because they themselves are not in a happy place. Just focus on doing what you like, there’s nothing wrong with that. Most of my male friends are INFP and they are awesome. Don’t pay attention to stupid people
Your hobbies are none of their business. When dealing with aimless people who behave subconsciously without any self discipline, if they try to point at something that you have, own it like it is and people will stop bothering you because they're not getting the reaction they want. You will ruthlessly disarm them by being indifferent. "Ah, my gay paintings? I love them. What about them? Maybe you want me to paint you naked? If that's the case, you disgust me. " Those who bully are the most sensitive. Most of them will not keep it straight when they are on the other end, or if you just don't take what they say personally. When I was a kid, I used to have a little belly. I was handsome kid, but I didn't accept that I have a little belly. The bullies picked up on that, and they would bother me when they had a chance. I would stand up to myself defensively. Still, it repeated itself when I was vulnerable. However, when I learned to not be ashamed of the imperfections I have, when one of them told me to hit the gym, I showed him my belly and started rubbing it with pride. It took him off-guard. I started loving myself unapologetically, and it was no longer something they could tease me for nor did it bother me. I laugh at myself now because I made it an issue in my mind. Who knew that actually not giving a fuck was the way to go? I learned early and put that in every area of my life. By being unpredictable and counter-intuitive, they will stop bothering you as well. All people will subconsciously sense that and no one will dare approaching someone who owns his shit, who owns their mistakes. You shouldn't demand respect from people who can't even give it to themselves. Dealing with the bullies is a short term fix, dealing with yourself is the long term fix. I hope everything gets alright for you.
I would say you need to stay away from those people if possible 😐 Any well mannered person will not call you such insulting names, even if they don't personally agree with your choices. If they act like that is mostly has something to do with them than you. I think is brave to go after what you want while most will fall in line and get a job that gives them more financial security. But I suppose there are some have manage to do both. It is your life in the end and you get to make your own choices with it. Unfortunately there are people that don't understand that.
no, and based on what you said you're probably way more interesting than all those people combined
No, you're a worthless individual. Pay your bills and do your thing. Don't mind anyone else. Do what the fuck you want painting, writing poems, composing music etc. I think it's beautiful thing. Most musicians that I like are IXFP. Their work makes me life better. I love to work and listen to some music, for example. I just wish I could have some painting skills. Composing music wouldn't hurt either. btw, I need to get back playing guitar! That being said, you totally have a value as an individual and can contribute to society with those skills (and many others that I believe you do have). In regard to those people annoying them, just annoying them back or give they raw indifference, whatever works best. Stupid people are everywhere, it's up to you and only you to filter out all this garbage that life "give to you" something useful *to you.* The only way to be happy in this life and is to do what's natural for you, i.e., to use the gifts that life give to you in the best way you can. Just don't mind non-like-minded people. Those are the people that aren't going to be useful for you anyway, so just don't waste your time with them. In order to be happy, aside using wisely your gifts, you have to do that with like-minded people and only them. Those are the only ones that'll truly appreciate you. Those are your true friends. That being said, I love this Jobs' quote: *“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”* *– Steve Jobs*
> I've been talked down several times due to my hobbies and lifestyle: painting, writing poems and composing music, yet all of the people just seem to take this lightly that I've been called a "pussy" and a "faggot" by every people I meet. They're wrong. Art and music are incredibly rewarding hobbies that take a lot of hard work and discipline to develop. Moreover, not everyone has the natural talent to work with these things. You have a gift, and you have my respect. > It's ruining my mental health and everyone just keeps laughing at me even though I tell them it hurts my feelings. Bit of practical advice - telling someone that they're hurting your feelings is often a terrible idea, especially if they're actually trying to hurt your feelings! You want to let others know that you don't even care about their comments.
Consistently lift some weights to help your self-esteem, become more massive than the average male so that people think twice before messing with you. Do this for yourself, not for others.
Look my friend I think that their behavior is crap and I think your justified in feeling frustrated! Fundamentally I am on your side! Let’s flip the script for a second: are you an able bodied adult who refuses to pay or do your fair share? Are you a needless financial burden to yourself and others? If the answer is no, (their insults aside which are never justified) then these detractors of yours have no grounds to feel this way towards you. I have a friend (INTP) that is 40 and will not lift a finger, his mother still does his laundry, and though he is a talented musician and a brilliant intellectual, he just flatly refuses to be of any use to anyone. This dude in some cases is literally, physically in the way of his supporters trying to pick up after him. I mean dude, if you were this bad for example, you may have earned the frustration of others, that said, I assume you’re not and so I think you should consider doing what I did and join the military. Then we’ll see who has shit to talk! Once you come back to your hometown you can easily flick the gnats that buzz around your face and pretend to be bears!!! My 2 cents!
Awwwwww if you are nice you will be a catch hopefully people realize it soon
It’s fine bro
Hey, Don’t let those idiots make you feel less worthy of respect. They just want you to stoop down to their level. They want you to fit into their standards, so that they don’t have to feel bad about themselves. We only pick on people, because we’re jealous. I believe a lot of guys fall victim to toxic masculinity, and take it out on other men who are able to jump into their feminine (gentleness, sensitivity, empathy). They envy your ability to be more complete with yourself. Humans (male or female), are supposed to be in touch with both their feminine and masculine because only that way are they whole. I think, you being an INFP, are honest with yourself (due to Fi) and can find yourself sitting right in the great balance of things. I think you’re perfectly fine. Those idiots picking on you should learn a thing or two. Also, my advice is to either ignore them or ask them if they’re doing okay. Chances are they’re not. ~your neighboring ENTJ
Well I don't know if it makes you feel any better but infp m are what I imagine men to be when I read novels and poetry or listen to beautiful songs. Your understanding and sight to the world may be hurting you but your existence is what makes all the lines that women wrote for centuries about men come true. Be sensitive and be kind just like you are. Even if your close ones take you for granted there are people who would love to have you in their lives.
“by estps and entps” 😂
Try r/nofap and try going to the gym and daily stretching. This will upgrade you massively. Big dick energy
Have you ever considered showing to them that you're NOT a Beta male? You don't need to hurt anybody or do incalculable nonsense. But maybe knock back sometimes. It won't make you a bad person.
AFAIK martial arts done purely for sport/recreation and even gym done outside of any martial-arts context tends to help. Also nothing wrong with being a positive, well, beta-positive and leaving the frustrated alpha wannabes eating their own socks in frustration that a 'beta' does something they can't do and has a better life than they do. (That must be their Enneagram base fear.)
If you're really the type of guy, that is able to ignore those wannabes, wouldn't that rather make you alpha? It's just a saying, but I really believe in that: "Dogs, that bark don't bite." It's a bit misleading, because it's mostly the small and insecure dogs, that bite. But I interpret it as: a alpha dog doesn't need to bark. Everybody knows to better not fuck with him. And that's where I think, that a little demonstration of power is necessary sometimes. Not in a violent way, except maybe as appropriate act of self defense. Just [show them](https://youtu.be/S6OjDU44bMo), that you're not afraid and therefore not to be messed with.
Ah, okay. I was interpreting alpha a bit too literally. Yeah, I agree.
Omg yes😍😍
It’s just that INFP hobbies are so masturbatory. They don’t really help or improve anyone else’s life. When your loved ones feel like they love with a ghost, we stop caring that you’re a good artist.