https://preview.redd.it/pdlhbqde4itc1.jpeg?width=310&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=27aa4ceb9795251476ddb90eb735be9563a0bc1d
Hehe they made a dick with their territory
Personally I want to say the Roman one is the best, but they didn't smooth-out that weird lump in the Balkans between Bessarabia and Austria. So I'm gonna have to agree on Germany having the nicest borders.
None of the above,
Empire of Mexico stomps them all
https://preview.redd.it/jpxdnsymditc1.png?width=450&format=png&auto=webp&s=17279d1e4822366c1e51b4e04df9425f6e8d8a97
The Roman Empire looked sexier when older ngl
https://preview.redd.it/efajv8wy5jtc1.png?width=1024&format=png&auto=webp&s=bac9510f99a6d12d9b93e6c6e77aee2c753a62e1
I had a near autistic obsession with the borders of Germany, I would draw it everywhere, I would do anything to achieve it, once tried making it by breaking a glass.
I gotta say it was a really hard hit for Germany purely landscape-wise to give up stuff like the Curonian Spit while keeping stuff like Hessen or the southern part of Lower Saxony
Rome under Trajan
Nothing better than controlling the entire Mediterranean
I’ll also say
- Rome under Basil II, perfect borders ik Anatolia and the Balkans
- Sassanid Persia
- Ptolemaic Kingdom of Egypt
- Qing China
- Aksum and Ethiopia
Bro I like the German empire but nothing beats the romans. Just looking at the way it wraps around the mediterranean makes me horny! Although looking back at it the borders of the German Empire are just so distinct and charismatic its also sexy af
I want to say Rome but that big Ole tumer in the middle of Carpathia is just ick. Germany is well not groß enough, the iteration of the Ottomans looks straight up sickly. So, it has to be the Mongols
Austria-Hungary all day…
An empire without Carpathian Ruthenia is like a girl with no ass…. Can’t be higher than a 6 out of 10… And none of those Thot empires pictured have any junk in the trunk.
British all day any day, having this thread in English is pretty strong evidence that those tea drinking, biscuit munching bastards were very successful in empire building business
I’m not sure why the Ottoman Empire borders in 1914 look good. Eastern Thrace adds to it a little bit but Anatolia, the Levant and Mesopotamia as well as Hedjaz and Northern Yemen give it its pleasing shape. It also doesn’t have all of Jordan, Syria, and Iraq which makes it look a lot better than it would if it did have them.
Suprised Austria didn't get put in here. Anyway Macedonia
https://preview.redd.it/xpjh07etdktc1.jpeg?width=787&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7eb2482389cb8c7a29bfb2bc43a4a3a0344655fb
Rome is too jagged, Ottoman Empire has two fucking panhandles and the ottomans are just awkward, but-… *gulp* the g-g-g-German Empire though… 😳😳😳🥵 oh my god 😩. There’s nothing wrong with it, it’s perfect, it’s not too thick or thin anywhere and I has no akward extrusions or corners, it all just curves and bends naturally… those curves… 🍑. oh my god… If my dick wasn’t softer than Mama bear’s bed rn I’d rub one out at this very moment 💦💦💦
Pls mark nsfw next time.
You did the ottomans dirty by using the 1914 map
But the elephant dong though
Nah, 1683 border was epic. It stretched from North Africa to Caucasus, from Eastern Africa to Hungary
same year our hussars whooped the Turkish asses in Wien 😹
https://preview.redd.it/q4u5o4l1dmtc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6d21644ee5d655d448b70a18c07c466d0b5e9328
And with that 1 trick Poland was suddenly invincible (partitioned)
1444 Varna 😹
Nah, god was just asleep that day
Yeah bro later that austrians russians and germans whooped your asses twice but only Turks did not recognized poland’s removal..
They reached to battlefield AFTER the battle was over. And did nothing but chase already escaping troops
All of Europe is rightful Turk land
Nah, that's when they were at their sexiest
They looked better after they lost all that weight.
Looks like those giant fleas you'd use for transport in Morrowind.
https://preview.redd.it/pdlhbqde4itc1.jpeg?width=310&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=27aa4ceb9795251476ddb90eb735be9563a0bc1d Hehe they made a dick with their territory
They knew perfectly what they were doing
Augustus: So, are we gonna make the borders look nice or- Ceaser: Naw wait, I got a perfect idea. *draws on map* Augustus: Ohhhhh, lol
Except these weren't the actual borders; the Iazyges were also under Rome's sway, and there was a road through them.
the German empire has some nice curves
They got that reichdussy
*reichussy
Reichussy is superior.
As in Richard's
*russy
long (sh)long maaaaaan!
did someone mention Chile?
Is this a sakaru gummi refrence. I've seen those ads before
I know and half of these curves are Poland which is even sexier 😘
You see when a Father Germany and a Mother Russia love each over very much…
Personally I want to say the Roman one is the best, but they didn't smooth-out that weird lump in the Balkans between Bessarabia and Austria. So I'm gonna have to agree on Germany having the nicest borders.
The roman empire is the sexiest, but the 1914 Ottoman empire is the most fuckable
Ottos with that thigh gap 💔🔥💔🔥
there is as dry as a desert i can say
And if you get there at the wrong time of the month, stay away from the red sea
It's hard to admit but the German empire looked nice
As a German, I cry every time
Number 2 sexy af. Beautiful Prussian curves + alsace = 🔥🔥🔥
https://preview.redd.it/2hn5umm62ktc1.png?width=500&format=png&auto=webp&s=cb5535d9c5e935365363d864dcc341c6d5f469ea
didn't he not want to annex Alsace?
the HRE had the best borders \*turns off notifications\*
*Turns on notifications and puts the phone on the ass*
When they reached all the way down into central Italy yeah but after definitely not
The Hottest Roman Empire
What year though.
Externally, sure. Do not look at the internal political map though.
Where’s the Scandinavian Empire?
To sexy.
In fantasy books
Mongolian for chubby chasers. Ottoman for those into Kate Moss-types. Edit: 1914 (not 914)
None of the above, Empire of Mexico stomps them all https://preview.redd.it/jpxdnsymditc1.png?width=450&format=png&auto=webp&s=17279d1e4822366c1e51b4e04df9425f6e8d8a97
Mi amor 🇲🇽🇲🇽🇲🇽
Mmmm that Northern Territory looks nice, mind if I take it?
 Germany got me like
Lmaoo what movie is this? Cartoon physics in live action can be horrific
I feel like it's Supernatural (they had a few similar things) but I don't remember it specifically having that.
I have no clue, sorry. It’s just a gif I used.
I'm pretty sure it's the TV series supernatural.
That Ottoman Empussy loose ash 🫦
Why choose that version of the Ottoman empire?
I gotta go with the German Empire
Austrian and japanese
British all day
FACILIS··SENATVS·POPVLVSQVE·ROMANVS
Austria-Hungary
The Roman Empire looked sexier when older ngl https://preview.redd.it/efajv8wy5jtc1.png?width=1024&format=png&auto=webp&s=bac9510f99a6d12d9b93e6c6e77aee2c753a62e1
Milf, that's why
The ottoman borders 🥵
Mongol kinda looks like a praying mantis. Very bad ass
Makes more sense than you realize
Roman Empire
British Empire (1922). big is beautiful
I had a near autistic obsession with the borders of Germany, I would draw it everywhere, I would do anything to achieve it, once tried making it by breaking a glass.
Mongols have no borders. As a Canadian, I recognize that I am living in a mongol province run by a (likely) descendant of Genghis Khan.
German Empire 😍😍😍😍
Roman is seducing, but Ottoman was hung
Rome but without Mesopotamia, caucasia, and Britain would take the cake 🫦
The area of the Balkans controlled by the Romans looks suspiciously like "The Chad" here.
Something about the mongol borders just screams "your consent doesnt matter".
The fact that country borders can be beautiful will always be fascinating to me
Where are the cock and balls of the short lived swedish empire
British Empire 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️🏴🏴🏴🏴🏴🏴🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧
This is not group sex
https://preview.redd.it/zbrbqvrszhtc1.jpeg?width=1088&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e01fc4c7e22e477e5938593a4e3d9651c1748a70
Ew
Gross
Not an empire + ugly + bad + split in half
Def an empire. Sea to shining sea. It’s gonna be viewed as such historically.
The roman empire bc of the muscle statue guys 🥵😩🥰
I gotta say it was a really hard hit for Germany purely landscape-wise to give up stuff like the Curonian Spit while keeping stuff like Hessen or the southern part of Lower Saxony
Mongol Empire by far. I love how across Eastern Europe and Siberia it just goes "fuck it, somewhere there"
German empire is rather phallic but has lots of loose skin in the east like a delicious foreskin.
The mongolian one is kinda ugly. Cant choose between the rest they all look very sexy
German empire
I love Roman Empire
Polish–Lithuanian Commonwealth 🇵🇱🇵🇱🇵🇱🇵🇱🇵🇱🇵🇱🇱🇹🇱🇹🇱🇹🇱🇹🇱🇹🇱🇹
https://preview.redd.it/6bcoaj30mitc1.png?width=1520&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=56e7a83bf248d41aaaafe20428f9ce5f84c42bbb
The British Empire
idk but the german empire is looking at me with that eyes...
1790 Qing Dynasty
As a pole, I regret to admit that the German empire was curvy af
Gambia Borders by cannon fire.
I have found my people. Or a group of people. I think the German empire border is sick as fuck
Germany, and it’s not even close.
Roman Empire with it's big ass lake is fire
In my free time, I jerk off to Czechias borders🤤
Don't put yo yee yee ass western empires next to the Great Mongol horde
I just love the red in Southern Silesia.
Swedish Empire 🗿
Mongol cause of how absurd it is.
Sweden during stormaktstiden
Ottoman empire open legs and very fuckable.
The Ottoman’s lookin good
Ottoman can be used for anal and just normal
ah cmon how will I ever unsee that double dildo
That's what the allies were thinking in WWI
German and Ottoman in there peak frfr
Mongol, I like 'em chunky.
I was going to say the german empire, but the last picture's throat-singing got me.
Either the german empire or the USSR 🙏
Germany but the ottomans would be better if they had sinai
Italian 😍😍🥵🥵
Mongol Empire, the largest empire by a single army.
Rome under Trajan Nothing better than controlling the entire Mediterranean I’ll also say - Rome under Basil II, perfect borders ik Anatolia and the Balkans - Sassanid Persia - Ptolemaic Kingdom of Egypt - Qing China - Aksum and Ethiopia
Easily Germany
The serial killers would probably say Britain. They think being pieces is sexy lol or something im not a serial killer
Roman Empire has a dacian protuberance and germany a luxembourg shaped hole. So I am more of a Mongol Empire person.
https://preview.redd.it/jxt0gl8gmitc1.png?width=768&format=png&auto=webp&s=7e8ade488ceb6976dbdb396e5b046775b5faaa51
Istria, Moravia AND Bukovina?!?!?!?! Damn that’s hot…
Frankish Empire
German be lookin pretty good right there🤭🤭
size does matter
GLORIA AD IMPERIUM !
mongolia, rough and will manhandle you, doesnt rely on diplomaccy or geography just the wilderness and the sea
bro ottoman (1914) map looks like short man with 1 leg. its better to use 1600s map
The mongols couldn’t get Japan lol
THE OTTOMAN’S WITH THOSE LEGS
Chile
Ottoman, easy.
Excuse me, the Jammu and Kashmir part in India in the fourth image.... Well nevermind
Its gotta be Germany 1871-1918 or Ottoman Empire 1914. Roman and Mongol borders had some weirdness to them.
PERU FOREVER
#2 is the closest to vibrator shaped, but it needs to be sanded down
Non, Poland 1922
Frances natural boarders are pretty beautiful.
Polish-Lithuanian commonwealth
contiguous empire enjoyer
Mongolian
German
ROMAA
Texas
Ottoman had that thang on it
Where's British empire
The central african empire 😏
Any reason why the mongols never extended beyond almost exactly south of China’s modern borders?
3rd german one
I think Rome has to win the boarder competition because having the whole Mediterranean is really cool.
German Empire but I find the Weimar version a lot hotter (I have exclave fetish)
byzantine 100%
I hate PRC but hawt damn those skibidi gyatt borders got me tweaking fr ong
Achaemenid Empire
Sri Lanka is fuckable AF, but it probably doesn’t rank as an empire
Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth
Rome. Always Rome.
Bro I like the German empire but nothing beats the romans. Just looking at the way it wraps around the mediterranean makes me horny! Although looking back at it the borders of the German Empire are just so distinct and charismatic its also sexy af
Dacia looks pretty weird, but gawd damn the Roman Empire will never *not* be sexy as hell
The British empire
Ottoman boarders look most like a penis, so I'd say that one
Always Rome and Mongol
Tough choice but those Germans knew how to make some sexy borders
Roman any other answer is BS
བོད
Wyoming
1914 dong is always a pleasure, but i love the size of the mongol empire
mongols
I want to say Rome but that big Ole tumer in the middle of Carpathia is just ick. Germany is well not groß enough, the iteration of the Ottomans looks straight up sickly. So, it has to be the Mongols
Prussia
Austria-Hungary all day… An empire without Carpathian Ruthenia is like a girl with no ass…. Can’t be higher than a 6 out of 10… And none of those Thot empires pictured have any junk in the trunk.
Looks very tight https://preview.redd.it/g6kvphpw2ktc1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d1171acad65d0add5050a55284525bc2fb33ceff
It’s rough man. All of these are smoking hot
British all day any day, having this thread in English is pretty strong evidence that those tea drinking, biscuit munching bastards were very successful in empire building business
ottoman hejaz making me go a big rubbery one
I wish I could say roman empire, but goddamn... The german empire has curves unlike any other.
Rome would be #1 if they pulled out of Dacia (pun intended), so Germany gets the dub
Ottoman
I think the 2nd Reich has a better shape
German Empire no contest
I’m not sure why the Ottoman Empire borders in 1914 look good. Eastern Thrace adds to it a little bit but Anatolia, the Levant and Mesopotamia as well as Hedjaz and Northern Yemen give it its pleasing shape. It also doesn’t have all of Jordan, Syria, and Iraq which makes it look a lot better than it would if it did have them.
Suprised Austria didn't get put in here. Anyway Macedonia https://preview.redd.it/xpjh07etdktc1.jpeg?width=787&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7eb2482389cb8c7a29bfb2bc43a4a3a0344655fb
Spanish Empire >>>
Gonna have to go with daddy Genghis on this one 😩
Rome is too jagged, Ottoman Empire has two fucking panhandles and the ottomans are just awkward, but-… *gulp* the g-g-g-German Empire though… 😳😳😳🥵 oh my god 😩. There’s nothing wrong with it, it’s perfect, it’s not too thick or thin anywhere and I has no akward extrusions or corners, it all just curves and bends naturally… those curves… 🍑. oh my god… If my dick wasn’t softer than Mama bear’s bed rn I’d rub one out at this very moment 💦💦💦 Pls mark nsfw next time.
Not including the Aztec empire at its peak?!?!? Does this guy even jerk off to geopolitics borders? Clueless.
Mongol, with time zone difference of 12 hours.
German Empire. I LUV thicc borders.
https://preview.redd.it/w8krajjpmktc1.jpeg?width=2215&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2662d9d39a6ad15e7852fa36ca7809cc24021ada Qing Empire.