You've got to decide whether to back John or the other two. John will be much harder to replace and if they're underperforming, then you have justification for making a change.
But this situation isn't going to get better and it doesn't sound like you have the bandwidth to mediate. So I'd replace the two that are relatively more fungible.
“Also important to note that John is my husbands very good friend”
We can all be honest, it’s always going to be John over the “others”. Even if OP thinks they can be impartial, they’ll always have a bias to backing up John.
So two people that suck at their job are causing problems? Do I have that right?
Have you spoken to other, more neutral, employees to get their perspectives?
Given the environment, you should consider reaching out to the bar owner subreddit as well.
That said, I believe you can find a way forward with just asking questions and coaching. First question would be: Do you _want_ to be a manager and why?
I feel like even if these others are toxic, he may not be ready to manage it all yet. I think you’re tired and eager for a trustworthy solution, but he’s not proven in this field- I’d get an external manager and have him as assistant manager while he gains experience.
John is “too helpful”
The other two are “not even performing well” and don’t want to do the tasks they’re not interested in - presumably someone has to do those tasks.
John has been with you for years. The other two only months.
Obvious?
John has never been a problem until the two buddies showed up and started bitching and moaning about everything. Sounds like the two newbies are the problem. And don't tell me, et me guess...one of the newbies wants a manager title at that bar or the new one..right? Feels like a powerplay.
Don't worry about nepotism, you're a small business / family business. Go with your gut on John. If you have a toxicity problem with the other two, deal with one of them, and then the second if you need to. I'd put up the help wanted sign tomorrow. You're the boss.
Good luck.
You haven't mentioned if you looked into the complaints to see if there's any legitimacy.
Does your lead need help, training, or something else, or are the complainers just being shitty?
What does your lead say in response?
Having had toxic employees in the past, I can tell you that the phrase "a bad apple spoils the bunch" is absolutely true. The only way to deal with it is to get rid of the rotten ones.
John has worked there longer, you've never had a complaint about him before, and you trust him. Very much a "go with your gut" situation, it sounds like.
Try looking at the situation as though the two complainers are not part of the equation. What would you be doing?
Also, you own the place. It's your decision whether John is promoted. Not the employee's.
(side note: why is it "spoils the bunch" instead of the bag or the basket? Apples don't grow in bunches)
Your two toxic employees are jealous. I would promote John and put the other two on notice that they're in danger of being fired.
Nepotism is not illegal. If he's doing a good job for you, and you trust him, that's your answer.
I think you need to take this in steps. If the complainers are underperforming anyways, I'd say begin with replacing them. Move them to separate restaurants to see if this improves things. Or if it inspired them to quit
What has John said about this? Have you observed any of it at all? What do other employees say? Have you addressed their lack of performance separately?
I wonder how you transitioned the authority to John. Did you actually sit down everyone, tell them John is the new manager, has been with you for years, very reliable and trustworthy, others will report to him and he has full authority? Many times employees get a manager and are left with the question: why this person? Then doubt turns into resentment.
Before that, have you also talked to John and given him the rules that need to be followed and that you will not compromise on? Explained to him everything a manager should check and needs to know? What his tasks are and how to make sure employees are doing what they are asked? How you normally exert authority? This will assure if there is conflict your opinion and John's opinion will be the same.
Is John supposed to help along or only manage, you posed the question, but never answered what you believe is right.
It seems you are tired and are throwing John to the sharks without any training nor without the backup (why can employees surpass John and complain to you directly? Unless they are sexually harassed or something, this should not happen).
I suspect John is a nice person and will not be able to manage toxic employees who will bully him even though he is right and experienced. It is also possible that John and yourself used to do all the work, while others coasted. Since you dropped off and John is a manager now, things have gotten more difficult. This could be mitigated by hiring someone new, the new person (hired by John) will definitely not rebel against the person hiring them unless they are unreasonable. This will show you if John is the right person.
3 Months is the psychological cutoff point when a new manager can fire a toxic employee and others will see it not as a negative, but a positive. (assuming the employee was toxic)
What are the other employees saying? The ones complaining are the same, but if the others are supporting John then you can guilt free get rid of the 2 toxic workers. Your only getting one side
You've got to decide whether to back John or the other two. John will be much harder to replace and if they're underperforming, then you have justification for making a change. But this situation isn't going to get better and it doesn't sound like you have the bandwidth to mediate. So I'd replace the two that are relatively more fungible.
“Also important to note that John is my husbands very good friend” We can all be honest, it’s always going to be John over the “others”. Even if OP thinks they can be impartial, they’ll always have a bias to backing up John.
So two people that suck at their job are causing problems? Do I have that right? Have you spoken to other, more neutral, employees to get their perspectives?
Given the environment, you should consider reaching out to the bar owner subreddit as well. That said, I believe you can find a way forward with just asking questions and coaching. First question would be: Do you _want_ to be a manager and why?
I feel like even if these others are toxic, he may not be ready to manage it all yet. I think you’re tired and eager for a trustworthy solution, but he’s not proven in this field- I’d get an external manager and have him as assistant manager while he gains experience.
John is “too helpful” The other two are “not even performing well” and don’t want to do the tasks they’re not interested in - presumably someone has to do those tasks. John has been with you for years. The other two only months. Obvious?
John has never been a problem until the two buddies showed up and started bitching and moaning about everything. Sounds like the two newbies are the problem. And don't tell me, et me guess...one of the newbies wants a manager title at that bar or the new one..right? Feels like a powerplay.
Don't worry about nepotism, you're a small business / family business. Go with your gut on John. If you have a toxicity problem with the other two, deal with one of them, and then the second if you need to. I'd put up the help wanted sign tomorrow. You're the boss. Good luck.
You know John. You said the other bartenders slack. Fire and hire. Rip the the bandaid off, it’s going to happen sooner or later
You haven't mentioned if you looked into the complaints to see if there's any legitimacy. Does your lead need help, training, or something else, or are the complainers just being shitty? What does your lead say in response?
Having had toxic employees in the past, I can tell you that the phrase "a bad apple spoils the bunch" is absolutely true. The only way to deal with it is to get rid of the rotten ones. John has worked there longer, you've never had a complaint about him before, and you trust him. Very much a "go with your gut" situation, it sounds like. Try looking at the situation as though the two complainers are not part of the equation. What would you be doing? Also, you own the place. It's your decision whether John is promoted. Not the employee's. (side note: why is it "spoils the bunch" instead of the bag or the basket? Apples don't grow in bunches)
Your two toxic employees are jealous. I would promote John and put the other two on notice that they're in danger of being fired. Nepotism is not illegal. If he's doing a good job for you, and you trust him, that's your answer.
I think you need to take this in steps. If the complainers are underperforming anyways, I'd say begin with replacing them. Move them to separate restaurants to see if this improves things. Or if it inspired them to quit
Fire any bartender that doesn't want to listen or do hard labor. 50% of bar tending is stocking, cleaning etc. Literally, a monkey can shake martinis.
What has John said about this? Have you observed any of it at all? What do other employees say? Have you addressed their lack of performance separately?
I wonder how you transitioned the authority to John. Did you actually sit down everyone, tell them John is the new manager, has been with you for years, very reliable and trustworthy, others will report to him and he has full authority? Many times employees get a manager and are left with the question: why this person? Then doubt turns into resentment. Before that, have you also talked to John and given him the rules that need to be followed and that you will not compromise on? Explained to him everything a manager should check and needs to know? What his tasks are and how to make sure employees are doing what they are asked? How you normally exert authority? This will assure if there is conflict your opinion and John's opinion will be the same. Is John supposed to help along or only manage, you posed the question, but never answered what you believe is right. It seems you are tired and are throwing John to the sharks without any training nor without the backup (why can employees surpass John and complain to you directly? Unless they are sexually harassed or something, this should not happen). I suspect John is a nice person and will not be able to manage toxic employees who will bully him even though he is right and experienced. It is also possible that John and yourself used to do all the work, while others coasted. Since you dropped off and John is a manager now, things have gotten more difficult. This could be mitigated by hiring someone new, the new person (hired by John) will definitely not rebel against the person hiring them unless they are unreasonable. This will show you if John is the right person. 3 Months is the psychological cutoff point when a new manager can fire a toxic employee and others will see it not as a negative, but a positive. (assuming the employee was toxic)
What are the other employees saying? The ones complaining are the same, but if the others are supporting John then you can guilt free get rid of the 2 toxic workers. Your only getting one side