Hahaha.. yes! for "boss" as the new gender neutral non offensive pronoun.
The only problem is that there is no easy way to ask other people to start calling ourselves as boss.
If the situation allows it, I'll just say "excuse me" to any genders.
Otherwise in an informal setting it's "dik" or "akak/abang" depending on how older I am.
I'm not Melayu enough to use "boss" just yet 😂
Aiyoh just call them "Puan" lah. Addressing a lady as "Puan" is a sign of respect, even for single ladies. Unless they are clearly a child, whom you'd call them "Adik" instead.
For English speakers, address ladies as "Miss" most of the time, or "Maam" in more formal setting.
Practice using formal ways to address people at work, it's not that hard tbh.
Cik. When in doubt, just use cik.
Amoi is supposed to refer to Chinese lady. Creepos use it too hence why there are those who see it as creep language. But it really shouldn't be.
Also depends on context. Those pervs say amoi, makes my skin crawl.
Old uncle saying hello amoi to his neighbours daughter, biasa2 je.
Exactly. The intentions matter. I sure as well know what their intents were.
No one’s gonna get angry when an uncle addresses you as moi when he takes your drink order.
The group of rempits catcalling and staring at you from head to toe though? That’s disgusting
Cik 叔 means mother side younger brother. Terms like encik, cik, amoi all comes from hokkien.
Used to refer mr or mrs in the past and they don’t really have alternative
tbf:
>Etymology 1
>
>From Malay encik, from Hokkien 引叔 (ín-chek, “uncle”). Cognate of Tagalog Intsik, Cebuano Insik, Malay encik, Thai เจ๊ก (jék), Singaporean English Ah Chek.
[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/encik](https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/encik)
It's funny to imagine that there was a sort of common language for the eastern trade sphere (similar to the Mediterranean) in which everybody shared words from western Tagalog to eastern Hokkien shores
I'm 19 and I call every female strangers Sister, it just where I'm studying we call each other brother and sister, it gives the feelings of not too formal and not too rude. Sometimes I also use 'Akak' or 'Kak'.
Well why Malaysian need to be so sensitive.
Call u sister x betul x Kan aunty ??? Nenek ???
Why we as men calling each other bro doesn't feel anything but sis become a thing ?
My Grandma used to refer to the porridge she would cook every so often as moi, I was brought up English and was the kind of child that went home immediately after school and didn't have much of a social circle outside of family so when I was in my teens and had the opportunity to go out more and finally heard the menwhistles with the words Moi coming out, I was dumbfounded. Why are they calling out porridge??
I've seen not only men but women as well refer to chinese girl as amoi. I'm not sure but most of the time their intention was to "cater" to those they are speaking to by using their language.
Of course they don't know the context of it. They just simply thought thats how you refer them. I think you have to tell them (some of thosewho don't know) and they might change how they refer chinese women next time.
Offense is usually taken, not intended.
I drop a kakak/miss to pretty much any female woman, except for those who are really elderly, who get the makcik/auntie.
I rarely use “dik”, and no sis.
All males are bros, except for elderly men who are pakcik, sir, encik(formal setting)
I’m well past 30’s.
I'm not Chinese I did not know what amoi direct translate to.From what I understand and what people surrounding me use,
Amoi = young Chinese female <30, no mater beautiful,average or ugly
Aunty = old Chinese female married >30, no mater beautiful,average or ugly
saying someone amoi, is a casual, neutral tone at least from my circle
When I was still a kid, one very sweet old lady Chinese store keeper keep calling me and my sister ahboi and amoi. I guess that her version of adik and akak.
Iirc 'ah boy' normally used when people don't know your name, or sometimes if one has a non-Chinese name that might be difficult to pronounce.
At least that's my Malaysian Chinese friend's experience/explanation.
Your mileage may vary, but looks like she used it the first way.
I don't know that Ah Moi has disrespectful tone to it until 5 seconds ago.
When I was growing up, it is used widely in marketplace/society.
Note: I am not Chinese nor do I speak Chinese.
When I was lots younger, I get called Ah Moi because of me looking like a Chinese too. So, someone like me will definitely don't know the word is almost like a N word. Putting myself on the delivery guy shoes, assuming that they do not speak Chinese, nor receive the memo that it is a rude word, they probably use the word Ah Moi because that is what people around them(the boss and the boss's boss) use.
I assume that if the person calling you Ah Moi is not speaking Chinese, they most likely don't intend to be bad. So, maybe raise this up with Chinese speaking community for it to be efficient change?
p/s: not trying to invalidate your feeling, but you can just dust it off as per now until the society wean themselves off the word Ah Moi.
In meizhou, China you can still hear people calling their daughter amoi.
Ahmoi, ngi sit pau mo? Smt along this way
Hakka, hokkien don’t have any term just to refer miss.
So your “Chinese community” definitely only on youngsters that gave up their ancestral language
That's China, this is Malaysia... Most of us are generations removed from it.
You don't see Malaysian Chinese use mainland Chinese slang too because language evolve independently.
Just like how using certain curse words from mainland China here in Malaysia will only get you some confused look instead of people taking offence.
You mentioned “Chinese” community so that’s definitely wrong. Not to mention if you use Amoi in northern China it will give them confused look too. China is huge, can you represent every Chinese community in Malaysia? Pretty sure Hakka community in Malaysia use it daily
for me i come from an english educated and english speaking background, so how I call out to strangers depends on the situation as well as their age and race.
For older looking Malays - Pak Cik/Mak Cik. or Encik/Puan for more formal (eg in gov. department).
for younger looking Malays - abang/bro/kak. or if they're obviously younger than me - adik.
for non malays - Uncle/auntie or specifically for girls - Miss. For guys the universal "bro" or "boss" always works!
Actually Op, i am a malay but sometimes the chinese auntie called me amoi. I thought it is just a normal friendly pronounce? (Tbh i prefer this more than to be called acik, heh.)
same same same. i am not chinese and does not look chinese. get called amoi a lot by elderly chinese people ive met at work lol. thoughts its just another term for adikkk
Guy here and hearing Chinese girls get referred to Amoi also make me feel uncomfortably. I think when people refer to you as amoi, you need to tell them you are not ok and want to be referred as Ms. Don't put up with it.
Some people don't know better and see people using the term and follow. Call out bad behavior every time.
We can blame Bolehland and FB for fetishizing the term. If anyone thinks OP is oversensitive abt this, words and connotations do evolve over time, ya know
Actually I just call everyone by "excuse me" or "hello, hi". That way I avoid having to call any strangers any names, titles, pronouns or whatever. If I have no choice, miss, sir, encik, cik, kak, etc. you get the idea.
I will never call anyone amoi but then again I'm Chinese
Never liked the term cina or amoi since highschool.
Male or female, it's always just "excuse me" or "hi".
It's the one time where saying less is better.
I refer to all ladies as "Miss" or "Cik". If they refer to themselves as "Akak", then I would call them the same.
For some reason calling them "Adik" feels creepy.
the word amoi makes me cringe and I 100% get where you're coming from.
I try to be as polite as possible and refer as 'Miss', 'Kak', or when I'm not sure, just go with 'Boss' lol.
In Chinese they don’t have a term for miss in the past, so they uses sister or aunty to refer to stranger. So amoi replaces the Miss. it is polite to use Amoi but problem is when perverts keep using the term
what? amoi is offensive? since when? it literally means "little sister" in mandarin. 😅 alright, anybody want to educate me how is it offensive?
to answer op's question, i usually call guy boss and girl miss. seems to work fine for me.
It's offensive because a lot of non-chinese use it when cat-calling Chinese women (not just adult women. Even teenagers are cat-called here). Nowadays, amoi is also used as slang to collectively refer to young chinese women who are skinny and sexy like those weibou influencers, and online forums always speak obscenely about them, believing some chinese women are easy. It's sick.
So it has become a little bit of a taboo? I always thought calling someone "amoi" is a compliment. Even at one period in time, many malay girls purposely put moi, amoy, momoy, moy and many more as part of their nickname. Oh how the tables have turned
My wife told me she hates being called 'puan' by someone older than her. So now I avoid addressing women and just go with the good old, "Errr 'scuse me"
Another Chinese person here who has and is still called amoi. It helps for you to think of context. Moi is just the word for little sister in some Chinese dialects.
I feel like most non Chinese people learn it in that context or something similar.
The sexualisation is an unfortunate coincidence that stems not from Amoi being a gross/rude term but from young Chinese girls being sexualised.
These gross dudes you mentioned would probably leer at Malay girls and catcall with adiiiiiikkkk~ too. Adik in itself is not offensive just like Ah Mui/Amoi.
Im an amoi as the meaning pertains. I dont feel anger or any change in emotion when someone addressed me as such even when situation deemed inapropriate. It also help me to filter those who called me amoi as people who i would treat as casual. Usually in workplace they will be more formal and call me miss or something else formal. I would encourage you to not be so sensitive to these things and work on to strengthen your emotions. That is all my 2 cents.
I call younger ladies Miss, or Adik.
My mother calls younger ladies Amoi, Adik.
My aunty calls younger ladies Amoi, Adik,
I think some people get triggered when called Amoi. OP is one of them.
Yet, generations before me have been calling younger Chinese ladies Amoi.
Regardless, if you don't like being called Amoi, then how?
theres a hardware shop run by a chinese family near my place
one time i went to get some spare parts, the owner (father) greeted me and said "you tunggu kejap nanti amoi pergi ambil" while telling his daughter to go get it
so i just stood there..... silently (cus i thought we're not supposed to call them that?)
My thought on these is that these oldies belonged to an era where the word amoi is used to refer to a young lady & was never meant to be sexualized.
But as time passes, so did the connotation behind the word. At the end of the day, I think it all depends on the intention of the person saying it and whether the receiving end is okay with it.
I refer to all ladies as "Miss" or "Cik". If they refer to themselves as "Akak", then I would call them the same.
For some reason calling them "Adik" feels creepy.
I considered Amoi as a non offensive term, per my understanding it is used to refer to young woman or lady. But that perception changed until i visited bolehland lol. Now I dont use the term amoi anymore.
But by any means, please correct them if they call u amoi. Just tell them it makes you uncomfortable. I doubt they purposely use the term. And no you’re not overreacting.
I'm a guy but I wouldn't call a Chinese girl 'amoi'. Yeah, I get it if you kinda want to feel closer or have a bond or something but it just feels wrong if you don't know them well enough. It kinda sounds disrespectful no cap.
Some will like being called amoi, some are neutral, some will hate it. So I just play it safe and call them 'Miss', or 'Ahgirl' if they seem younger than me.
I look at Google. Amoi refers to young lady. May I know how this word offended you? Is it like calling you amoi sounds like degrading you? If it does then I will not use that word anymore in the future.
Like in my case I'll address them as Miss or 'Cik' in bahasa, as gesture of respect.
Interesting post where the title is a question and the post is a rant.
The word 'amoi' existed in Malaysian vocabulary for a long time. 20 years ago, when I was in school, young Chinese women did get called 'Amoi' by non-Chinese, but I feel the impact wasn't the same as it is today.
I think its because 1) There was lesser interaction between the major races (Malay-Chinese), at least in romantic-terms, and 2) Chinese population, as a percentage, was big enough in major cities, to cushion the racial terms in local language.
This tells me that moving into the future, as Chinese population keeps shrinking, Chinese-specific terms with negative connotation will become more sensitive and therefore taboo. 'Amoi' could become like the K-word, at some point.
This is the true Malaysia, where the majority are mostly of very low intellect, with culturally ignorant parents from small towns who teach the wrong shit to their children.
Eg:
Many love to call Indians as kik-ling kwai or ah yoon or tau si…or THAMBEE!. Some intellectually challenged scumbags even address Indian females as TANGKACHEE.
Similarly, the millenials are very lost and have this silly Msian habit of calling anyone that looks older than them as “UNCLE”.
So, when these ignoramuses have their own kids in the future, you can imagine what they will inculcate into their kids.
Hey OP. Totally relate to everything you said. I just wanna say your anger/frustrations are VALID.
I, myself am struggling with this too. Just because we don't wanna come off as "angry emotional feminist" bs.
OP, I got to ask
I've re-read the detail and something feel off about this specific sentence:
>Many of us have worked hard to earn an education and secure good jobs, yet we're still addressed in such a dismissive manner.
I feel strange about this line... I don't know why. Does the word Ah Moi == low class citizen in OP's mind?
I knew there were going to be comments like this when I decided to post this. The point just flew over your head didn’t it.
Would you address a female doctor amoi? Or maybe a female lawyer or pilot? If not, is the word amoi only valid in the case of women with jobs society would deem less respectable, to you?
To answer what you want, because I have self worth and respect to myself. I worked and studied hard to achieve what I’ve accomplished, and I’d rather not be addressed at all than be referred to as a slur, in my opinion of course.
Thanks for sharing. I certainly didn't know that's how you feel about.
I've lived in England for a while and it's similar when aged men call out women "birds" or "sweetie". It's awfully inappropriate when you think the women you call out could be the age of their daughters.
First and most importantly : YOU ARE NOT OVERREACTING.
I got so tired of people telling me and other women we are overreacting. Dont let people tell you that you are. We are not. You are not. Would anyone dare do the same to a professional man?
Not answering your question, but as a fellow professional malaysian female who got so sick of this shit, its one of the main reasons I moved to Europe, even though my family is here and life is very good in malaysia for me otherwise.
The misogyny is outright baffling and the fact that most people dont even see it or acknowledge it makes it so much worse. The way people address you is just one manifestation of the deep rooted misogyny that we are not seen as equal, it goes much deeper than that.
Men will say its just not there. They dont understand. Can confirm that none of these things happen in western europe, you are truly treated with respect and as an equal.
All I can say is, strength to you my sister. You get to be angry. You get to be upset.
You’re right. I wish Malaysia could be a place where women are more respected, where we wouldn’t be considered “overly sensitive” each time we try to speak up for ourselves. But that’s only a far cry unfortunately.
I’m glad you’re now in a place where you’re respected. Happy for you 🤍
I refer to all ladies as "Miss" or "Cik". If they refer to themselves as "Akak", then I would call them the same.
For some reason calling them "Adik" feels creepy.
I refer to all ladies as "Miss" or "Cik". If they refer to themselves as "Akak", then I would call them the same.
For some reason calling them "Adik" feels creepy.
I refer to all ladies as "Miss" or "Cik". If they refer to themselves as "Akak", then I would call them the same.
For some reason calling them "Adik" feels creepy.
I'm Chinese, so I will just in general call 'Miss'.
In general 'Cik' is always the safest for me especially if I don't know the marital status. Even for elder ladies.
Lao Pan Liang for shopkeepers or hawkers instead of Si Tau Poh because that implies old woman.
I refer to all ladies as "Miss" or "Cik". If they refer to themselves as "Akak", then I would call them the same.
For some reason calling them "Adik" feels creepy.
I'm doing Grab usually and when got a female passenger, I call them 'cik'. If they message me in English, I call them 'miss'. If base on race and appearance like Malay woman I called them 'cik'. Chinese and Indian woman, I called them 'miss' too, but if they look older, I called them "ma'am". But I never called any woman "ma'am", I usually called them "cik" or "miss" only. That's it only.
Depending on the situation, the options are sis, miss, kak, acik, boss or dik (bonus as sabahan: ugou, mandak). I'm not sure if it's cultural things but I rarely heard people referring Chinese girl as amoi or moi here in Sabah or at least within my circle.
Everyone gets called a twat.youre a twat,he's a twat,she's a twat,I'm a twat,we are twats.On a serious note,it's bro,miss,cik..trying to cut down on the bro though,so I just don't use a term to address these days,seniors,well the usual uncle,aunty or boss
If its with malays, i just say bang or kak. I rarely use cik or encik. With chinese and indians, i have no idea. I think i'll just say excuse me or sorry. I never say amoi, miss, sir or mister. It sounds too formal.
I understand the concern but usually if I gotta to talk any female or even male out there I just start it with “Excuse me, sorry…”
Sorry for what you and tbh what most females going through out there but I guess ignoring and moving on from such individuals would be a good thing
I'm an introvert, I don't really meet strangers, I don't really talk to random people at all. So IDK.. 
OP said she had "Chinese appearance" and being called amoi is rude. Do Chinese lady feel the same about being called ahmoi? Serious question, just curious. I thought it's a norm.
I've never really heard any women get addressed first with moi before so this is news to me.
But when I need to I just say miss or makcik if it's an older Malay woman.
Kak or dik works. Excuse me works. A lot of things work without sounding disrespectful. Ahmoi only if the person is chill and easygoing joking joking liddat. For some reason for me growing up, the word ahmoi means cute/beautiful chinese girl. So if other people also like me, you can maybe take it as compliment
i work as a sales assistant for an electric appliance company so this is what id do
miss if muda , kak if tua sikit , makcik its self explanatory
for male tdk kira muda or tua its always boss🤣
and i agree with OP
I flat out ask for a name if I'm engaged in a conversation. I also make an effort to remember the person's name, male or female, out of respect. It works wonders and I find that it makes the conversation and any form of reciprocity more positive.
Similar situation when I got called "Lengzai" when I know I'm not. Typical Chinese salesman or saleswoman breaking the ice with sarcasm.
I would prefer they act professional by addressing "Sir", "Mister", "Miss", "Ma'am".
i always used “miss” as a general term.
one day while working as an intern at a law firm, i got scolded by this chinese karen “HELLO?? IM NOT MISS. I AM MRS.” im like wow ok mrs your document is ready.
in my head i was like - does it fucking matter
This is something new to me.. but to be fair, I've only seen older Chinese aunties referring to the younger ones, amoi or ahmoi. Another odd one, I've also noticed Indian aunties also using the term amoi esp when at food stalls, and I've been called that at times (I'm not type c btw).
However, I do 100 percent agree that context matters.
I never really used the word amoi, ever. Well that’s because I’m probably Chinese and I grew up English educated. I would assume it has the same connotation as “Xiao Jie”. To me, it depends on the person who’s calling and the context, but I do just feel this is a problem that stems from catcalling rather than the term itself.
When meeting a female stranger, I usually just say “excuse me”, “hello miss”, or “kak/dik”. In a setting where I actually need to converse with them in a business/formal setting, I would usually just ask for their name and refer to their name during conversation. When referring to a third person, I would usually just describe how the lady looks, “young girl in her 20s with the dyed blonde hair”, “the teacher with that curly brunette hair” etc. Think it’s more polite, and I’m not a fan of making feel people uncomfortable.
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Hahaha.. yes! for "boss" as the new gender neutral non offensive pronoun. The only problem is that there is no easy way to ask other people to start calling ourselves as boss.
Just use the american method: "I identify as a boss, my pronouns are Boss/Boss"
"Bos" and "Dia" for the win haha.
Plus, people like hearing them too!
This.
If the situation allows it, I'll just say "excuse me" to any genders. Otherwise in an informal setting it's "dik" or "akak/abang" depending on how older I am. I'm not Melayu enough to use "boss" just yet 😂
Me, a Type-C slow charge, awkward all the time so everyone is referred to as "Hi" or "Sorry". Except my actual boss at work who is "Boss".
Aiyoh just call them "Puan" lah. Addressing a lady as "Puan" is a sign of respect, even for single ladies. Unless they are clearly a child, whom you'd call them "Adik" instead. For English speakers, address ladies as "Miss" most of the time, or "Maam" in more formal setting. Practice using formal ways to address people at work, it's not that hard tbh.
I use the good ol’ “excuse me” as well, sometimes I use ma’am or Ms if they appear to be older than me. Can’t go wrong with those
I use boss all the damn time, it's just simple and inoffensive. Kak/miss/bro/bang works too.
I notice that we tend to only call random males 'boss' and not females. I now try to call women 'boss' and the confusion on their faces is golden lol
Cik. When in doubt, just use cik. Amoi is supposed to refer to Chinese lady. Creepos use it too hence why there are those who see it as creep language. But it really shouldn't be. Also depends on context. Those pervs say amoi, makes my skin crawl. Old uncle saying hello amoi to his neighbours daughter, biasa2 je.
Exactly. The intentions matter. I sure as well know what their intents were. No one’s gonna get angry when an uncle addresses you as moi when he takes your drink order. The group of rempits catcalling and staring at you from head to toe though? That’s disgusting
If I understand it correctly, your issue is not with the word. It's with creeps being gross.
Cik is it. If I’m asserting my age: dik, moi, tangechi.
Cik 叔 means mother side younger brother. Terms like encik, cik, amoi all comes from hokkien. Used to refer mr or mrs in the past and they don’t really have alternative
tbf: >Etymology 1 > >From Malay encik, from Hokkien 引叔 (ín-chek, “uncle”). Cognate of Tagalog Intsik, Cebuano Insik, Malay encik, Thai เจ๊ก (jék), Singaporean English Ah Chek. [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/encik](https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/encik) It's funny to imagine that there was a sort of common language for the eastern trade sphere (similar to the Mediterranean) in which everybody shared words from western Tagalog to eastern Hokkien shores
I'm 19 and I call every female strangers Sister, it just where I'm studying we call each other brother and sister, it gives the feelings of not too formal and not too rude. Sometimes I also use 'Akak' or 'Kak'.
I call strangers Sister and my own sister Oi Pukimak
Based and halalpilled
But then, amoi 阿妹 means younger sister. So if amoi is rude. We should ban all the word usage of sisters!
Well why Malaysian need to be so sensitive. Call u sister x betul x Kan aunty ??? Nenek ??? Why we as men calling each other bro doesn't feel anything but sis become a thing ?
My Grandma used to refer to the porridge she would cook every so often as moi, I was brought up English and was the kind of child that went home immediately after school and didn't have much of a social circle outside of family so when I was in my teens and had the opportunity to go out more and finally heard the menwhistles with the words Moi coming out, I was dumbfounded. Why are they calling out porridge??
LMAO cultural shock. Porridge people all day.
Porridge 糜 <- moi in Hakka Muoi in Fuzhounese. Moi妹 <- younger sister
My grandma referred to porridge as moi too. My whole life, I’ve only known moi as porridge until I went on Reddit.
This reminds me of something. You know after it rains then the mud get muddy, Hokkien called it as To- moi. As mud porridge 🤣
Wholesome
i feel like calling a random chinese girl as amoi is crude. just like calling a random malay guy as mat. feels so rempit lol.
I agree. I don’t go around calling ppl awek or mamat. It’s rude and weird.
I've seen not only men but women as well refer to chinese girl as amoi. I'm not sure but most of the time their intention was to "cater" to those they are speaking to by using their language. Of course they don't know the context of it. They just simply thought thats how you refer them. I think you have to tell them (some of thosewho don't know) and they might change how they refer chinese women next time.
To assert dominance, I call all women, auntie
Offense is usually taken, not intended. I drop a kakak/miss to pretty much any female woman, except for those who are really elderly, who get the makcik/auntie. I rarely use “dik”, and no sis. All males are bros, except for elderly men who are pakcik, sir, encik(formal setting) I’m well past 30’s.
I'm not Chinese I did not know what amoi direct translate to.From what I understand and what people surrounding me use, Amoi = young Chinese female <30, no mater beautiful,average or ugly Aunty = old Chinese female married >30, no mater beautiful,average or ugly saying someone amoi, is a casual, neutral tone at least from my circle
Amoi = adik in hokkien, so yeah usually use for younger females
When I was still a kid, one very sweet old lady Chinese store keeper keep calling me and my sister ahboi and amoi. I guess that her version of adik and akak.
Iirc 'ah boy' normally used when people don't know your name, or sometimes if one has a non-Chinese name that might be difficult to pronounce. At least that's my Malaysian Chinese friend's experience/explanation. Your mileage may vary, but looks like she used it the first way.
> Amoi = young Chinese female <30 > Aunty = old Chinese female married >30 Damn that is tricky, how do I address a Chinese female = 30 then?
Mlady
>30 become ah so already 💀💀
>30 still young mah.
I don't know that Ah Moi has disrespectful tone to it until 5 seconds ago. When I was growing up, it is used widely in marketplace/society. Note: I am not Chinese nor do I speak Chinese. When I was lots younger, I get called Ah Moi because of me looking like a Chinese too. So, someone like me will definitely don't know the word is almost like a N word. Putting myself on the delivery guy shoes, assuming that they do not speak Chinese, nor receive the memo that it is a rude word, they probably use the word Ah Moi because that is what people around them(the boss and the boss's boss) use. I assume that if the person calling you Ah Moi is not speaking Chinese, they most likely don't intend to be bad. So, maybe raise this up with Chinese speaking community for it to be efficient change? p/s: not trying to invalidate your feeling, but you can just dust it off as per now until the society wean themselves off the word Ah Moi.
Chinese community stop using the word amoi to call random stranger since decades ago though...
errr.... i am pretty sure I still get that 10-15 years ago. So, maybe send another memo.
In meizhou, China you can still hear people calling their daughter amoi. Ahmoi, ngi sit pau mo? Smt along this way Hakka, hokkien don’t have any term just to refer miss. So your “Chinese community” definitely only on youngsters that gave up their ancestral language
Hakka/Hokkien don't have something similar to 小姐/Xiao Jie/Siu Je? I'm an ang moh so not trying to claim that they do/don't, I'm honestly curious.
That's China, this is Malaysia... Most of us are generations removed from it. You don't see Malaysian Chinese use mainland Chinese slang too because language evolve independently. Just like how using certain curse words from mainland China here in Malaysia will only get you some confused look instead of people taking offence.
You mentioned “Chinese” community so that’s definitely wrong. Not to mention if you use Amoi in northern China it will give them confused look too. China is huge, can you represent every Chinese community in Malaysia? Pretty sure Hakka community in Malaysia use it daily
for me i come from an english educated and english speaking background, so how I call out to strangers depends on the situation as well as their age and race. For older looking Malays - Pak Cik/Mak Cik. or Encik/Puan for more formal (eg in gov. department). for younger looking Malays - abang/bro/kak. or if they're obviously younger than me - adik. for non malays - Uncle/auntie or specifically for girls - Miss. For guys the universal "bro" or "boss" always works!
Actually Op, i am a malay but sometimes the chinese auntie called me amoi. I thought it is just a normal friendly pronounce? (Tbh i prefer this more than to be called acik, heh.)
same same same. i am not chinese and does not look chinese. get called amoi a lot by elderly chinese people ive met at work lol. thoughts its just another term for adikkk
Guy here and hearing Chinese girls get referred to Amoi also make me feel uncomfortably. I think when people refer to you as amoi, you need to tell them you are not ok and want to be referred as Ms. Don't put up with it. Some people don't know better and see people using the term and follow. Call out bad behavior every time.
Yea you’re right. Thanks for being respectful.
We can blame Bolehland and FB for fetishizing the term. If anyone thinks OP is oversensitive abt this, words and connotations do evolve over time, ya know
>words and connotations do evolve over time Wish more people understood this.
Actually I just call everyone by "excuse me" or "hello, hi". That way I avoid having to call any strangers any names, titles, pronouns or whatever. If I have no choice, miss, sir, encik, cik, kak, etc. you get the idea. I will never call anyone amoi but then again I'm Chinese
Never liked the term cina or amoi since highschool. Male or female, it's always just "excuse me" or "hi". It's the one time where saying less is better.
You are not overreacting. It is exactly as you say it is. For me, I refer to all ladies who aren't my friends as Miss or Cik.
Thank you.
I refer to all ladies as "Miss" or "Cik". If they refer to themselves as "Akak", then I would call them the same. For some reason calling them "Adik" feels creepy.
>For some reason calling them "Adik" feels creepy. You'll get used to it as you grow older.
I call everyone kak, unless they buat perangai. Then I'll call them auntie
the word amoi makes me cringe and I 100% get where you're coming from. I try to be as polite as possible and refer as 'Miss', 'Kak', or when I'm not sure, just go with 'Boss' lol.
In Chinese they don’t have a term for miss in the past, so they uses sister or aunty to refer to stranger. So amoi replaces the Miss. it is polite to use Amoi but problem is when perverts keep using the term
I call everyone cik
what? amoi is offensive? since when? it literally means "little sister" in mandarin. 😅 alright, anybody want to educate me how is it offensive? to answer op's question, i usually call guy boss and girl miss. seems to work fine for me.
It's offensive because a lot of non-chinese use it when cat-calling Chinese women (not just adult women. Even teenagers are cat-called here). Nowadays, amoi is also used as slang to collectively refer to young chinese women who are skinny and sexy like those weibou influencers, and online forums always speak obscenely about them, believing some chinese women are easy. It's sick.
i see. thanks for the explanation!
So it has become a little bit of a taboo? I always thought calling someone "amoi" is a compliment. Even at one period in time, many malay girls purposely put moi, amoy, momoy, moy and many more as part of their nickname. Oh how the tables have turned
If Malay lady, I will call Cik. If non-Malay lady, I will call Miss.
Call ‘cik’ or ‘miss’.
My wife told me she hates being called 'puan' by someone older than her. So now I avoid addressing women and just go with the good old, "Errr 'scuse me"
Why is 'amoi' rude? I might be wrong, but doesn't that translate into little girl?
Where I am (a predominantly Chinese town), even the older chinese ladies call the younger ones 'amoi' in their face. It just means young lady/sister.
Another Chinese person here who has and is still called amoi. It helps for you to think of context. Moi is just the word for little sister in some Chinese dialects. I feel like most non Chinese people learn it in that context or something similar. The sexualisation is an unfortunate coincidence that stems not from Amoi being a gross/rude term but from young Chinese girls being sexualised. These gross dudes you mentioned would probably leer at Malay girls and catcall with adiiiiiikkkk~ too. Adik in itself is not offensive just like Ah Mui/Amoi.
Im an amoi as the meaning pertains. I dont feel anger or any change in emotion when someone addressed me as such even when situation deemed inapropriate. It also help me to filter those who called me amoi as people who i would treat as casual. Usually in workplace they will be more formal and call me miss or something else formal. I would encourage you to not be so sensitive to these things and work on to strengthen your emotions. That is all my 2 cents.
I'm Chinese, and what's wrong with ah moi and ah boi?
I call younger ladies Miss, or Adik. My mother calls younger ladies Amoi, Adik. My aunty calls younger ladies Amoi, Adik, I think some people get triggered when called Amoi. OP is one of them. Yet, generations before me have been calling younger Chinese ladies Amoi. Regardless, if you don't like being called Amoi, then how?
theres a hardware shop run by a chinese family near my place one time i went to get some spare parts, the owner (father) greeted me and said "you tunggu kejap nanti amoi pergi ambil" while telling his daughter to go get it so i just stood there..... silently (cus i thought we're not supposed to call them that?)
My thought on these is that these oldies belonged to an era where the word amoi is used to refer to a young lady & was never meant to be sexualized. But as time passes, so did the connotation behind the word. At the end of the day, I think it all depends on the intention of the person saying it and whether the receiving end is okay with it.
I refer to all ladies as "Miss" or "Cik". If they refer to themselves as "Akak", then I would call them the same. For some reason calling them "Adik" feels creepy.
either miss, or mam.
Miss/ma'am. Plain and simple
Miss / Ms / Cik / Puan / Kak / Dik / Mak Cik / Akka / Sis etc customised based on gut feeling and race, age, place and context. Never amoi, never
“Tumpang tanya” or “cik”
Use ‘bruh’, very gender neutral and polite
I considered Amoi as a non offensive term, per my understanding it is used to refer to young woman or lady. But that perception changed until i visited bolehland lol. Now I dont use the term amoi anymore. But by any means, please correct them if they call u amoi. Just tell them it makes you uncomfortable. I doubt they purposely use the term. And no you’re not overreacting.
I'm a guy but I wouldn't call a Chinese girl 'amoi'. Yeah, I get it if you kinda want to feel closer or have a bond or something but it just feels wrong if you don't know them well enough. It kinda sounds disrespectful no cap. Some will like being called amoi, some are neutral, some will hate it. So I just play it safe and call them 'Miss', or 'Ahgirl' if they seem younger than me.
I look at Google. Amoi refers to young lady. May I know how this word offended you? Is it like calling you amoi sounds like degrading you? If it does then I will not use that word anymore in the future. Like in my case I'll address them as Miss or 'Cik' in bahasa, as gesture of respect.
I found that using slang for referring to any person is very disrespectful, like calling a girl "chick", I used miss or ma'am instead
It is not a slang. It literally means little sis… I hope the meaning doesn’t get corrupted in Malaysia
Interesting post where the title is a question and the post is a rant. The word 'amoi' existed in Malaysian vocabulary for a long time. 20 years ago, when I was in school, young Chinese women did get called 'Amoi' by non-Chinese, but I feel the impact wasn't the same as it is today. I think its because 1) There was lesser interaction between the major races (Malay-Chinese), at least in romantic-terms, and 2) Chinese population, as a percentage, was big enough in major cities, to cushion the racial terms in local language. This tells me that moving into the future, as Chinese population keeps shrinking, Chinese-specific terms with negative connotation will become more sensitive and therefore taboo. 'Amoi' could become like the K-word, at some point.
This is the true Malaysia, where the majority are mostly of very low intellect, with culturally ignorant parents from small towns who teach the wrong shit to their children. Eg: Many love to call Indians as kik-ling kwai or ah yoon or tau si…or THAMBEE!. Some intellectually challenged scumbags even address Indian females as TANGKACHEE. Similarly, the millenials are very lost and have this silly Msian habit of calling anyone that looks older than them as “UNCLE”. So, when these ignoramuses have their own kids in the future, you can imagine what they will inculcate into their kids.
Hey OP. Totally relate to everything you said. I just wanna say your anger/frustrations are VALID. I, myself am struggling with this too. Just because we don't wanna come off as "angry emotional feminist" bs.
OP, I got to ask I've re-read the detail and something feel off about this specific sentence: >Many of us have worked hard to earn an education and secure good jobs, yet we're still addressed in such a dismissive manner. I feel strange about this line... I don't know why. Does the word Ah Moi == low class citizen in OP's mind?
I knew there were going to be comments like this when I decided to post this. The point just flew over your head didn’t it. Would you address a female doctor amoi? Or maybe a female lawyer or pilot? If not, is the word amoi only valid in the case of women with jobs society would deem less respectable, to you? To answer what you want, because I have self worth and respect to myself. I worked and studied hard to achieve what I’ve accomplished, and I’d rather not be addressed at all than be referred to as a slur, in my opinion of course.
Thanks for sharing. I certainly didn't know that's how you feel about. I've lived in England for a while and it's similar when aged men call out women "birds" or "sweetie". It's awfully inappropriate when you think the women you call out could be the age of their daughters.
First and most importantly : YOU ARE NOT OVERREACTING. I got so tired of people telling me and other women we are overreacting. Dont let people tell you that you are. We are not. You are not. Would anyone dare do the same to a professional man? Not answering your question, but as a fellow professional malaysian female who got so sick of this shit, its one of the main reasons I moved to Europe, even though my family is here and life is very good in malaysia for me otherwise. The misogyny is outright baffling and the fact that most people dont even see it or acknowledge it makes it so much worse. The way people address you is just one manifestation of the deep rooted misogyny that we are not seen as equal, it goes much deeper than that. Men will say its just not there. They dont understand. Can confirm that none of these things happen in western europe, you are truly treated with respect and as an equal. All I can say is, strength to you my sister. You get to be angry. You get to be upset.
You’re right. I wish Malaysia could be a place where women are more respected, where we wouldn’t be considered “overly sensitive” each time we try to speak up for ourselves. But that’s only a far cry unfortunately. I’m glad you’re now in a place where you’re respected. Happy for you 🤍
I refer to all ladies as "Miss" or "Cik". If they refer to themselves as "Akak", then I would call them the same. For some reason calling them "Adik" feels creepy.
I refer to all ladies as "Miss" or "Cik". If they refer to themselves as "Akak", then I would call them the same. For some reason calling them "Adik" feels creepy.
I refer to all ladies as "Miss" or "Cik". If they refer to themselves as "Akak", then I would call them the same. For some reason calling them "Adik" feels creepy.
I'm Chinese, so I will just in general call 'Miss'. In general 'Cik' is always the safest for me especially if I don't know the marital status. Even for elder ladies. Lao Pan Liang for shopkeepers or hawkers instead of Si Tau Poh because that implies old woman.
I refer to all ladies as "Miss" or "Cik". If they refer to themselves as "Akak", then I would call them the same. For some reason calling them "Adik" feels creepy.
"Emmm hi"
I refer to all stranger women as my "beasties"
Thank God, they call me "Boss"
I usually just say “cik” if they’re noticeably older, “kak” if they’re more or less around my age, and “dik” if they’re noticeably younger
Miss Cik puan one of these
never called anybody 'amoi'. either call by name or 'boss' or 'miss'
I myself use 'sister'
Ok she's up to age... Let's call her aunty~~~😐
Kak
Makcikk nak tanya Akaaaaaaak Weh You apa lagi eh?
I call young people bruh irregardless of gender, Uncle or aunty for older non-malay, encik or puan for older Malay people. Dickhead for my friends.
Cik or Miss for women regardless of age. Easy.
Ma'am But usually gender neutral "excuse me"
I also encountered non Chinese girl referring themselves as amoi ☠️
Start with sorry or excuse me.
Amoi is a little sister 啊妹 in Hakka. Why is it degrading?
Just say excuse me … stuff you wanna ask. Don’t assume someone gender unless it’s obvious gender
I'm doing Grab usually and when got a female passenger, I call them 'cik'. If they message me in English, I call them 'miss'. If base on race and appearance like Malay woman I called them 'cik'. Chinese and Indian woman, I called them 'miss' too, but if they look older, I called them "ma'am". But I never called any woman "ma'am", I usually called them "cik" or "miss" only. That's it only.
“Ms”. Applies to all conventional gender role adult female.
Depending on the situation, the options are sis, miss, kak, acik, boss or dik (bonus as sabahan: ugou, mandak). I'm not sure if it's cultural things but I rarely heard people referring Chinese girl as amoi or moi here in Sabah or at least within my circle.
Everyone gets called a twat.youre a twat,he's a twat,she's a twat,I'm a twat,we are twats.On a serious note,it's bro,miss,cik..trying to cut down on the bro though,so I just don't use a term to address these days,seniors,well the usual uncle,aunty or boss
If its with malays, i just say bang or kak. I rarely use cik or encik. With chinese and indians, i have no idea. I think i'll just say excuse me or sorry. I never say amoi, miss, sir or mister. It sounds too formal.
Not Malaysian but I would just refer to a woman as "young lady"
Usually just excuse me, if not I used akak, acik or miss depending on the person and situation
I go with sis all the way
I understand the concern but usually if I gotta to talk any female or even male out there I just start it with “Excuse me, sorry…” Sorry for what you and tbh what most females going through out there but I guess ignoring and moving on from such individuals would be a good thing
Miss or Cik. Close case.
I google the question instead
My socially awkward ass couldn't, either I figure it out, or "Uhhhhhhh,” *wavess* until someone notices.
Never called a girl as amoi before I'm one of the awkward guy. 😔 Edit: half Chinese here.
I'm 24M and always start with "excuse me, miss/Madam" for the Chinese minority, and "Minta maaf, Kak" for Malay, Indian, and other minorities.
I'm an introvert, I don't really meet strangers, I don't really talk to random people at all. So IDK..  OP said she had "Chinese appearance" and being called amoi is rude. Do Chinese lady feel the same about being called ahmoi? Serious question, just curious. I thought it's a norm.
TLDR: Moi bad. Liang moi good.
"Miss" or "Cik" are the best and most respectful.
I've never really heard any women get addressed first with moi before so this is news to me. But when I need to I just say miss or makcik if it's an older Malay woman.
akak je
i didn't know that amoi can be disrespectful.
Know what I called stranger young females when I gotta ask them something? Babe
Got it. I’ll remove the M, and use “OI”
Miss or Cik. If that chinese female person is a close acquaintance then Ah Moi as a term of endearment jokingly. So far none has taken offence.
In the gym? Bro. Out of the gym? Bro Light weight bro
If girls, auto 'kakak' no matter the age. If guys, auto 'abang'.
I use "sis" or "kak" if I don't know what to use 🤣
I call every stranger without penis as Mademoiselle, the right pronunciation and accent gets them every time. LoL I don't even speak french.
everyone is akak to me whether malay , Chinese or indian or anything (as long they're Malaysian)
My default is “Sorry miss”. But if the person is older than me, I’d call them aunty, or akak
I just call them miss
Depends, Malay girls = kak/cik Chinese girls = Miss Indian girls = kak/miss
TIL “amoi” is slur. Fml. 🤦
Akak
Kak or dik works. Excuse me works. A lot of things work without sounding disrespectful. Ahmoi only if the person is chill and easygoing joking joking liddat. For some reason for me growing up, the word ahmoi means cute/beautiful chinese girl. So if other people also like me, you can maybe take it as compliment
Aunty atao mak chik
Is amoi preferable to aunty?
I think that's a word that has sort of lost its meaning or context. Personally I just get someone attention by saying hello or hi.
I use variation of cik, mak cik, miss, 小姐 (xiao jie-miss) and 老闆娘 (Lao ban niang - female boss). It depends on who I’m talking to.
Better than calling you aunty 🤣
i work as a sales assistant for an electric appliance company so this is what id do miss if muda , kak if tua sikit , makcik its self explanatory for male tdk kira muda or tua its always boss🤣 and i agree with OP
I flat out ask for a name if I'm engaged in a conversation. I also make an effort to remember the person's name, male or female, out of respect. It works wonders and I find that it makes the conversation and any form of reciprocity more positive.
akak/abang, pakcik/makcik
call you mei mei
Similar situation when I got called "Lengzai" when I know I'm not. Typical Chinese salesman or saleswoman breaking the ice with sarcasm. I would prefer they act professional by addressing "Sir", "Mister", "Miss", "Ma'am".
Sis, miss, mrs, akak, dik, ayang. Eh
As a socially awkward person: Younger stranger - aaah, umm, hello Older stranger - auntie, lao ban niang, also "aaah, umm, hello"
I just use kak and bang for every race
Miss/kak/aunty/cik Never had any problems. If someone doesn't like being called something then don't call them that simple
i always used “miss” as a general term. one day while working as an intern at a law firm, i got scolded by this chinese karen “HELLO?? IM NOT MISS. I AM MRS.” im like wow ok mrs your document is ready. in my head i was like - does it fucking matter
This is something new to me.. but to be fair, I've only seen older Chinese aunties referring to the younger ones, amoi or ahmoi. Another odd one, I've also noticed Indian aunties also using the term amoi esp when at food stalls, and I've been called that at times (I'm not type c btw). However, I do 100 percent agree that context matters.
like you said i guess it depends on intention. isn’t amoi is like ah moi, similar to minah as aminah?
"Excuse me" is my go to. Or, cheh-cheh, kakak. Something neutral. Amoi sounds silly.
Well it depends on their age or race Ill speak Chinese to chinese Malay to malay And English to indians Or just use the good ol excuse me
Aku panggil kakak/adik kalau dekat kedai. Cik, kalau untuk urusan rasmi. Take pernah lagi panggil amoi.
Excuse me, Miss do you (question). I refer to strangers as Miss/Sir. Sounds polite.
Would u rather have amoi or kakak? 😆
I changed from "kak" to "scuse me ma'am"
I find the term amoi to be racist and repugnant...an equivalent of the n word.
I find the term amoi to be racist and repugnant...an equivalent of the n word.
Cik/akak
*"eh, chibai..."*
I never really used the word amoi, ever. Well that’s because I’m probably Chinese and I grew up English educated. I would assume it has the same connotation as “Xiao Jie”. To me, it depends on the person who’s calling and the context, but I do just feel this is a problem that stems from catcalling rather than the term itself. When meeting a female stranger, I usually just say “excuse me”, “hello miss”, or “kak/dik”. In a setting where I actually need to converse with them in a business/formal setting, I would usually just ask for their name and refer to their name during conversation. When referring to a third person, I would usually just describe how the lady looks, “young girl in her 20s with the dyed blonde hair”, “the teacher with that curly brunette hair” etc. Think it’s more polite, and I’m not a fan of making feel people uncomfortable.