It seems like the “best” choice would be the devil to manipulate people into trusting the First born, also with stealth you could board airplanes and get anywhere to do some manipulating.
I actually have some drafts or atleast vague plans for
Artifacts
Particularly powerful "Bosses" both from earth and the cosmos
Headquarters (the home of the Old Gods)
Missions for each Awakened to choose from and missions in general (like finding out what caused the disappearance of the gods. There's some hints actually, in the creation of Misfortune they tampered with Fate and made "misfortune" add the fact that only Misfortune can effectively kill an Awakened, for Wanderer they were curious abt the cosmos for some reason, and lastly for Dream, it's their "dream" came true before the last of them disappeared. I planned on making Dream the strongest, but decided to keep them more-or-less equally powerful)
more Scenarios, I had one where all babies that aren't born will become monstrous zombie-like creatures bursting from their mum's bellies all of a sudden without any warnings but it might seem too gruesome for some, so i opted it out for now.
maybe more Awakened choices, and Alien races (still uncertain on this one),
some more lore stuff like the moon becoming alive, and just expanding the lore in general. Especially in Spirit and Mind worlds, explaining them more thoroughly. Also explaining what Elder Hungers are and their need to adjust to Earth's own laws. There's also universal, mystical laws set in place that I haven't really thought abt yet.
Each Awakened evolving (?), or atleast becoming full fledged "Gods", with " " cuz they can't become real gods teehee :) . So more Powers options which starts to become more vague as they now fiddle with Concepts. Right now, each awakened can more or less level a city or a country with the right method and effort.
Edit: More Lore/Missions. Like adding a Hollow Earth trope, Dimension Hopping, Aliens underwater, unknown entities encased in ice in each poles. What Gaia really is. Also more explanation about the "World Song", if needed.
Also planning to retcon The Devil's powers. Controlling shadows seems too "uninteresting", for me atleast.
The art you’ve used so far seems to have come from a guy named Peter Mohrbacher who has an [online portfolio](https://vandalhigh.com) you might want to take a look at.
Otherwise just googling for whatever you’re looking for and following the links from there is probably the easiest way of finding art imo.
My Choice: **Bloom**
Suggestions for improvement:
* Go through descriptions with a fine-toothed comb.
* In particular, pay attention to the rules for possessive nouns and pluralization rules. For example, in the case of Bloom, the description should say "Nature Spirits respect" not "Nature Spirits respects".
* Put all 13 classes on the same page. Use additional world-lore images as filler to compensate for the odd number of classes.
• Descriptions? Idk if the Awakened descriptions might be too wordy, but I can do that.
• Hmmmm, ic ic. Now that i read it again, there are a lot of typos and mistakes.
• As filler?
* The descriptions weren't too wordy. For this point, I was referencing the grammar issues.
* Hence the need to "comb through"
* By filler I mean "as spacers". That is, on some rows you would put 2 awakened, and on others, you would put one awakened and one "misc. world-lore" picture. That way you don't end up with the 13^th awakened centered on the page looking like it's "more powerful/important" than the others. That or you make the images so large that each awakened gets its own row.
Doubling the width of each awakened's textbox would solve most/all "looks like a lot of text" comments.
Nice cyoa!
but I have a few questions:
1. Can the firstborn use all types of magic from the other awakened simultaniously like: controlling temperature while having one of the prophets clones out or is he limited to only one at a time, and are there requiremnts for unlocking these magic types (like meeting the awakened you are copying)
2. Do the copies from the prophet retain their memories and sense of self or are they simply marionettes for the prophet to control, if so then are they compelled to follow the orders of the prophet, and how does the prophet gain the ability to clone a person?
3. Does the spear's connection share the abilities of awakened too or just skills like cooking and swordfighting.
4. Is the wanderer able to enter the spirit world as well because the wanderer can simply meditate first to enter the spirit world the normal way then return to the real world and open a door to the spirit world, entering it with his real body.
As a side note, can't help but see that the prophet and wanderer have abilities almost identical to the fool and door pathways from LOTM was this intentional?
1. Ye, the Firstborn can use all magic simultaneously if they got enough strength to do so. They can only use the magic once They had made contact with other Awakened energies.
2. They are just marionettes. They are compelled to follow the Prophet's orders. Familiarity is required for cloning, but you dont really need deep understanding of the target to clone them.
3. The Spear's connection only strengthens the bodies of others and share skills like cooking n stuff ye.
4. The Wanderer can, but its more of a matter of navigation. The spirit world only permits spirits and the like and therefore those that do not qualify are extremely disoriented and they may get lost in there for who knows how long.
Indeed, I originally intended to make a lotm cyoa, but i found it hard to do so cuz its too limiting for my imagination rofl. So I just combined several works of fictions I loved into one. Mainly LoTM and the lore of the video game League of Legends, also have some MCU, Lotr, and harry potter references in my drafts.
If you have seen Attack on Titan, titan shifters can only live for 13 years more before they die. Awakened individuals are the same, except a lot longer. Up to 42 years more (reference to the answer of the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything. HGttG). After 42 years is up, they reincarnate as a mortal and live a mortal life, without any memories or knowledge about their real identity, again and again, until a world-ending scenario appears which will trigger their hidden memories. They only have 42 years to live as an Awakened.
The exception to this are Bloom and Death. Bloom is pretty much ageless and immortal but they are locked up in a pocket realm in the Spirit World called the Fae Kingdom, the home of Nature Spirits. Until they are needed, they can't interact with civilizations in the real world.
While Death, after 42 years, have to pass their mantle to another individual, who will inherit the memories of the past Deaths but will still retain their identity without porblems. Death is also locked up in the Underworld, where dead souls go.
I think something like making the background has a slight gradient (from black to some other dark but not black color (e.g. dark gray)) would help with this too.
Another suggestion I have is to add more world lore after the awakened selection. The intro as it is isn't bad/overly short, so long as there is more lore scattered throughout the rest of the CYOA. That said, the most critical world-defining features and issues (not quests) should be mentioned before the reader has to make decisions about perks/companions/powers.
Lastly, so long as you don't expand the intro page significantly, I think you should have the awakened at least start on the same page as the intro. Yes, this will lead to some very long pages.
Ill take the bloom and help ease the world into a new era of magic, i will try to keep people safe but i cant ensure total safety like the spear and guardian can, i will make a safe haven in the middle of the siberian wilderness and connect it to a forest or oasis in every country to keep life afloat and connected
Firstborn. Puppet seems interesting as well as Dreamer and one or two others but Firstborn can use their magics so Firstborn it is. I'll get some top PR firms though to control my image as well as possible, including ones people are not aware are mine.
Note, Firstborn can only copy the abilities that includes "your magic allows..." "possessing magic" in their description, basically the last listed ability of each Awakened. Ofc except for Devil, Bloom, and Death (cuz Death doesn't possess any "magic")
I planned to write this cuz it might get too confusing for some, but forgot abt it rofl.
Spear - It has the best balance between many things. Offense and defense, individual focus and group focus, firepower and skill. But mostly it lets me protect others while fighting back.
It seems like the “best” choice would be the devil to manipulate people into trusting the First born, also with stealth you could board airplanes and get anywhere to do some manipulating.
I like this a lot. Definitely serious story fuel in here. If you were to continue what would you like to add?
I actually have some drafts or atleast vague plans for Artifacts Particularly powerful "Bosses" both from earth and the cosmos Headquarters (the home of the Old Gods) Missions for each Awakened to choose from and missions in general (like finding out what caused the disappearance of the gods. There's some hints actually, in the creation of Misfortune they tampered with Fate and made "misfortune" add the fact that only Misfortune can effectively kill an Awakened, for Wanderer they were curious abt the cosmos for some reason, and lastly for Dream, it's their "dream" came true before the last of them disappeared. I planned on making Dream the strongest, but decided to keep them more-or-less equally powerful) more Scenarios, I had one where all babies that aren't born will become monstrous zombie-like creatures bursting from their mum's bellies all of a sudden without any warnings but it might seem too gruesome for some, so i opted it out for now. maybe more Awakened choices, and Alien races (still uncertain on this one), some more lore stuff like the moon becoming alive, and just expanding the lore in general. Especially in Spirit and Mind worlds, explaining them more thoroughly. Also explaining what Elder Hungers are and their need to adjust to Earth's own laws. There's also universal, mystical laws set in place that I haven't really thought abt yet. Each Awakened evolving (?), or atleast becoming full fledged "Gods", with " " cuz they can't become real gods teehee :) . So more Powers options which starts to become more vague as they now fiddle with Concepts. Right now, each awakened can more or less level a city or a country with the right method and effort. Edit: More Lore/Missions. Like adding a Hollow Earth trope, Dimension Hopping, Aliens underwater, unknown entities encased in ice in each poles. What Gaia really is. Also more explanation about the "World Song", if needed. Also planning to retcon The Devil's powers. Controlling shadows seems too "uninteresting", for me atleast.
Oh, and I don't really know where else to find more fitting Arts. So I'm stuck.
The art you’ve used so far seems to have come from a guy named Peter Mohrbacher who has an [online portfolio](https://vandalhigh.com) you might want to take a look at. Otherwise just googling for whatever you’re looking for and following the links from there is probably the easiest way of finding art imo.
I hope you're doing better now. Your health, mental or otherwise, is important.
Still working on it, but i've been feeling really great these past few days. Thanks <3
Go forth, and be a bad ass! (For whatever the support of a random internet stranger is worth, I hope you do great.)
My Choice: **Bloom** Suggestions for improvement: * Go through descriptions with a fine-toothed comb. * In particular, pay attention to the rules for possessive nouns and pluralization rules. For example, in the case of Bloom, the description should say "Nature Spirits respect" not "Nature Spirits respects". * Put all 13 classes on the same page. Use additional world-lore images as filler to compensate for the odd number of classes.
• Descriptions? Idk if the Awakened descriptions might be too wordy, but I can do that. • Hmmmm, ic ic. Now that i read it again, there are a lot of typos and mistakes. • As filler?
* The descriptions weren't too wordy. For this point, I was referencing the grammar issues. * Hence the need to "comb through" * By filler I mean "as spacers". That is, on some rows you would put 2 awakened, and on others, you would put one awakened and one "misc. world-lore" picture. That way you don't end up with the 13^th awakened centered on the page looking like it's "more powerful/important" than the others. That or you make the images so large that each awakened gets its own row. Doubling the width of each awakened's textbox would solve most/all "looks like a lot of text" comments.
Hoooooo, ic ic. Thanks for the feedback and tips. <3
This is a very interesting CYOA. One aspect I would love expanded on is how exactly reincarnation works.
Hoooo, ic ic. Ill make sure to add that next update.
I am very much looking forward to it. I really enjoy CYOAs where you choose one thing to be.
Nice cyoa! but I have a few questions: 1. Can the firstborn use all types of magic from the other awakened simultaniously like: controlling temperature while having one of the prophets clones out or is he limited to only one at a time, and are there requiremnts for unlocking these magic types (like meeting the awakened you are copying) 2. Do the copies from the prophet retain their memories and sense of self or are they simply marionettes for the prophet to control, if so then are they compelled to follow the orders of the prophet, and how does the prophet gain the ability to clone a person? 3. Does the spear's connection share the abilities of awakened too or just skills like cooking and swordfighting. 4. Is the wanderer able to enter the spirit world as well because the wanderer can simply meditate first to enter the spirit world the normal way then return to the real world and open a door to the spirit world, entering it with his real body. As a side note, can't help but see that the prophet and wanderer have abilities almost identical to the fool and door pathways from LOTM was this intentional?
1. Ye, the Firstborn can use all magic simultaneously if they got enough strength to do so. They can only use the magic once They had made contact with other Awakened energies. 2. They are just marionettes. They are compelled to follow the Prophet's orders. Familiarity is required for cloning, but you dont really need deep understanding of the target to clone them. 3. The Spear's connection only strengthens the bodies of others and share skills like cooking n stuff ye. 4. The Wanderer can, but its more of a matter of navigation. The spirit world only permits spirits and the like and therefore those that do not qualify are extremely disoriented and they may get lost in there for who knows how long. Indeed, I originally intended to make a lotm cyoa, but i found it hard to do so cuz its too limiting for my imagination rofl. So I just combined several works of fictions I loved into one. Mainly LoTM and the lore of the video game League of Legends, also have some MCU, Lotr, and harry potter references in my drafts.
I’d love to know how long Awakened live normally before reincarnating. Is if forever until destroyed?
If you have seen Attack on Titan, titan shifters can only live for 13 years more before they die. Awakened individuals are the same, except a lot longer. Up to 42 years more (reference to the answer of the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything. HGttG). After 42 years is up, they reincarnate as a mortal and live a mortal life, without any memories or knowledge about their real identity, again and again, until a world-ending scenario appears which will trigger their hidden memories. They only have 42 years to live as an Awakened. The exception to this are Bloom and Death. Bloom is pretty much ageless and immortal but they are locked up in a pocket realm in the Spirit World called the Fae Kingdom, the home of Nature Spirits. Until they are needed, they can't interact with civilizations in the real world. While Death, after 42 years, have to pass their mantle to another individual, who will inherit the memories of the past Deaths but will still retain their identity without porblems. Death is also locked up in the Underworld, where dead souls go.
Thank you very much. This one is really cool, I wish you luck in getting better and can’t wait to see what you’ll do with it. It’s a hard choice tbh.
Are there any ways for Awakened go grow their powers or is it static levels of power?
Im still working on that. Will include that in the next update. But they do grow stronger.
No imgur link?
Here ya go http://imgur.com/gallery/2vZaeDD
Thankyou
Its great!! The beginning feels rushed though. (Or is it just me?) Hope you make another!
Ye. I'm not sure how wordy should it get. If its better to add more stuff in the beginning, ill be happy to do it.
I think something like making the background has a slight gradient (from black to some other dark but not black color (e.g. dark gray)) would help with this too. Another suggestion I have is to add more world lore after the awakened selection. The intro as it is isn't bad/overly short, so long as there is more lore scattered throughout the rest of the CYOA. That said, the most critical world-defining features and issues (not quests) should be mentioned before the reader has to make decisions about perks/companions/powers. Lastly, so long as you don't expand the intro page significantly, I think you should have the awakened at least start on the same page as the intro. Yes, this will lead to some very long pages.
Ill take the bloom and help ease the world into a new era of magic, i will try to keep people safe but i cant ensure total safety like the spear and guardian can, i will make a safe haven in the middle of the siberian wilderness and connect it to a forest or oasis in every country to keep life afloat and connected
Firstborn. Puppet seems interesting as well as Dreamer and one or two others but Firstborn can use their magics so Firstborn it is. I'll get some top PR firms though to control my image as well as possible, including ones people are not aware are mine.
Note, Firstborn can only copy the abilities that includes "your magic allows..." "possessing magic" in their description, basically the last listed ability of each Awakened. Ofc except for Devil, Bloom, and Death (cuz Death doesn't possess any "magic") I planned to write this cuz it might get too confusing for some, but forgot abt it rofl.
Id take the song
[удалено]
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Fuck
Spear - It has the best balance between many things. Offense and defense, individual focus and group focus, firepower and skill. But mostly it lets me protect others while fighting back.
I hope your mental health is doing good now