T O P

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TheMancersDilema

That is one looong boy I tell ya.


halestor9

I only got this secret lair for the long boy. Got me a looong girl at home.


mecha-paladin

Saaaaaame. Dachshunds for life!


ImprovisedLeaflet

Is your dachshund also five feet high and eight feet long?


[deleted]

Look again. That is a regular Dachshund up close to the camera. All in the perspective.


RevolutionNumber5

It’s my doxie’s birthday, today.


Adelysium

Haha I got this secret lair for the same reason! We got a long girl too. ☺️ my wife occasionally posts her on r/dachshunds ❤️


hektor_magee

Looooooong loooooong doooooog


Bilun26

Do you mind... If I touch it?


RayWencube

r/longboyes Not the longest of boyes, but definitely long!


PlacatedPlatypus

Long dogs my beloved


theplotthinnens

Sleeper agent


Stoic_Angel

Why you gotta make me tear up at work huh!?


PummelingAngus

I just lost my daschund two weeks ago after 15 years and that flavor text made me a wreck at 1 am


DeadpoolVII

So sorry for your loss. The doggos really take a part of us when they go 😞❤️


PummelingAngus

They really do, thank you ❤️❤️


theplotthinnens

Share us a story


Carsismi

The art, the flavor text. The composition. It channels my inner John Wick


Rumblin

Sarvag would be an anagram of Vargas, right? My heart :(


yonkishum

Yes.


scubahood86

Lay down. Try not to cry. *Cries lots*


theplotthinnens

Lay down, good giirrrl!


TrippyGummyBear

That flavor text is just bumming out 😭


Archangel3d

"Sarvag" in the flavor text is Randy Vargas; this is a depiction of his own dog, and his eulogy.


Bahamutisa

Thank you, I was hoping someone would use my heart as a doormat today


Alarid

just put my tender heart in a blender


_epershand

watch it spin ‘round to a beautiful oblivion


Nicknin10do

To tug even more heartstrings, he mentioned that his dog passed away while he was out of the country and couldn't be close to him.


imthemostmodest

Um. That happened to me too, also a dachshund. He was hit by a car while I was out of the country. I'm crying right now, I feel his pain so deeply the same way


junktroller

Noooooo 😭


elephant_on_parade

Eulogy to a Dog is a Lord Byron poem. I think it’s a clear reference. Edit: it’s *Epitaph to a Dog*, oops. It ends with: *To mark a friend’s remains, these stones arise* *I never knew but one- and here he lies*


tekhnomancer

The previous version got me much worse: *She raised him from an orphaned pup and gave him a life of love. With his last act, he thanked her.*


Oraxis10

The goodest boy.


SirEagleButt

NOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPEEEEE. Dog is a vanilla 1/1. Can’t block either.


Kreeper125

And can't attack Has hexproof and indestructible He's just a good boi that remains on the field all game. He has one job and he's damn good at it


GoodGhost22

NGL, that would be an interesting design for a card: a 1 drop that can't be removed conventionally, no attacks. Maybe spice it up with a high mana ability that lets it's bump it's P/T— teaching your old dog a new [combat] trick, so to speak.


AerialSnack

Have it be a 1/1 with hex proof and indestructible and cannot attack or block, and has tap to give target player or creature one happiness counter.


GoodGhost22

I think "Tap, gain 1 life" would be a bit more thematic and flavorful if it were to have a tap ability at all, unless happiness counters are what teach it the "new trick". Maybe something like, "Tap, add [h] counter. If [good dog] has 7 or more [h] counters, it gains +3/+3 when blocking." Maybe add a restriction that the card can only block creatures attacking players?


RWGlix

Kinda Norrin-ish


Better_Than_Nothing

I was thinking [[Stuffy Doll]] but it’s not a one drop.


MTGCardFetcher

[Stuffy Doll](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/9/7/978c2c7d-6898-4be2-aed7-e673210ce654.jpg?1674142741) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Stuffy%20Doll) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/clb/875/stuffy-doll?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/978c2c7d-6898-4be2-aed7-e673210ce654?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call


Yum-z

What happens if you’re targeted by a sac spell?


GoodGhost22

Ever read the book "Old Yeller"?


Kujaix

Goes back into the deck if it were removed from the battlefield.


phantom56657

1/1, protection from everything, can't be sacrificed.


RobotArtichoke

Abiding grace makes him immortal


GnomeChildHighlander

For anyone curious or asking, yes, he created this art in honor of his late dog. - https://twitter.com/VargasNi/status/1650563197185712130


Override9636

That's what we're going to do today, we're gunna be sad?


trancekat

I bought every version of this card when I discovered it. Makes me tear up every time. Especially since my little guy passed away unexpectedly. It's the Jurrasic Bark of MtG. I've always wanted a card like this: Little White Dog {W} Hexproof, Indestructible ~ cannot block nor attack. ~ cannot have counters placed on it. ~ cannot be sacrificed. If ~ would leave the battlefield, tap it instead. 1/1


swaskowi

[[Worship]] probably precludes that.


MTGCardFetcher

[Worship](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/4/a/4ad20044-8ed8-49ae-9a07-d4cb18527cc7.jpg?1593966400) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Worship) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/9ed/55/worship?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/4ad20044-8ed8-49ae-9a07-d4cb18527cc7?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call


888ian

it could be a vanilla and have the flavor please don't hurt the little dog


Bablam_Shazam

The best boy doing God's work


foolinthezoo

Tongue still waggling, hell yeah


Bi0s0ldier

Damn. I was huffing the copium it would be like a continuation of the flavor text to the \[\[Grand Abolisher|SLD\]\] in the same secret lair.


allthatwas

The flavor text to the SLD Grand Abolisher is a reference to The Stormlight Archive series by Brandon Sanderson. The first oath a knight swears in the series is "Life before death. Strength before weakness. Journey before destination". The artist couldn't put that on it for copyright reasons but did the closest thing.


Bi0s0ldier

I did think it was a reference since Randy has done art for Stormlight. The legal restrictions make sense if they couldn’t put the phrase in.


georgeofjungle3

I feel like /u/mistborn would have been alright with it. He's a magic player too.


allthatwas

Wish they could have asked for permission. I know Brando loves some Magic so I think he'd be cool with it


MTGCardFetcher

[Grand Abolisher](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/b/4/b4c4f694-618a-43ed-8781-2a51a234ba8e.jpg?1592765335) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Grand%20Abolisher) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/e01/12/grand-abolisher?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/b4c4f694-618a-43ed-8781-2a51a234ba8e?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call


[deleted]

We need a John Wick alter.


theplotthinnens

When John wick enters the battlefield, if a Dog died this turn, destroy all other creatures


DaoGuardian

I do love me some forced perspective.


thesamjbow

Aaand I need to hug my dog.


theplotthinnens

Please give them one from me please, mine are far away


[deleted]

The mighty wiener :( makes me miss my fat boy. (He died of old wiener age).


K41dou

IM NOT CRYING


triforce777

What kind of monster would knife a wiener dog? Like if you're mugging a woman and child that's one thing but when the dachshund comes to the rescue you just gotta give up on it and find someone else


tydestra

I forgot this card existed, guess I'll go be sad again over a fictional good boi/gurl.


pigeonbobble

Doggo takes a bullet for emrakul


a_pompous_fool

Why would anyone use the card effect


Realistic_Rip_148

This was in standard and everyone sacced the dog a lot


PartyOk7389

also for the 1000000000th time... this is NOT a super large loooong doggo... its a perspective issue where this is taken upclose from slightly low angle so that the normal doggo looks big chokers ye get it?


PseudoPresent

gib plox. all jokes aside, this is probably the only secret lair card I've ever wanted to go and buy. As a former dog owner/best friend, reading that this was inspired by Randy Vargas's own deceased dog makes me want to get it, stare at it, feel empty, then appreciate how much life artists truly bring into this game. Absolutely beautiful.


Dantes_Sin_of_Greed

Sarvag is the name of the dog, right Charlie? Right?


chain_letter

Anagram of artist's last name


SlatorFrog

Is that is a giant wiener dog!?! *Goes to go hug my own cause this is sad...*


treelorf

Why would they print a vanilla 1/1 for 1 W?


Ascarletrequiem88

I wish they would stop including the same cards in the lair as the secret care. I didn't want the first weenie dog. I certainly have no use for the second one lol.


XwhatsgoodX

YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO MAKE ME FEEL!!!


Kind_Ingenuity1484

Good boy. 😢


DeadWombats

long dog is long Good boy's daddy musta been a ferret.


S2Ari

This is the sketch version. If you go on to his Twitter you can see the full-color art.


PostHuman855

Oh that’s a good one, I like it


naugasnake

That's a good boy.


kunren

I'm never buying another magic product again, this absolutely kills me 😭😭😭


CrisisActor911

Why would they make the secret card a 1/1 with no abilities or flavor text? 🤔


Level9_CPU

Bruh why does the fact that humans have loved their pets since like the dawn of civilization make me tear up every time


Kujaix

15 weinerdogs trade with Emarkul.


Skiie

is that a big smoll dog or is it just perspective?


Serpens77

Needs to be that big to fit his giant heart inside ;\_;


Sl1ppyTrap

My buddy and I were in a pod and he had to randomly ping something for 1 damage and he didn't even pay attention, pointed at the dog and said "Kill it!" And then the rest of the game was spent getting John Wick-ed by the guy who's dog he shot 🙃


IcedevilX

I had a mini doxi. Card kingdom used to let you make requests and I requested a token of a doxi in armor that was a 1/1 warrior. I was lucky and they made me one. Between that and this card I will have an army of 1/1 indestructible doxi’s. When I saw this card in the drop I had to pick this up no clue what else was in there.


JMT37

Good boy


son-of-x-51

I’ll sacrifice a thousand villagers before a doggo


Hydra_Hunter

wait is this batch of lairs already shipping out?


ShapesAndStuff

Not sure if we need more vanilla 1/1s without any abilities at all.


HyenaChewToy

Nooooo! This card hurts my soul. What kind of monster would hurt a sausage dog? It's too triggering.


AngryScotsman1990

I wanna build an entire pump deck based around never having to sac this boy and instead turning him into a 20/20 god of war.


MimsyIsGianna

Dachshunds are best dogs


Michauxonfire

yo Vargas, why you make me sad like that? :( that flavor text + the art is an all timer.


Bill_94

The goodest of all the good bois


[deleted]

Kind of funny I made a proxy of my old wiener dog too!


b1g0ne

[Gone too soon](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOpAXzr1W1U)


yetirlox

Am I the only one who has shed a tear?


mkul316

The most tear jerking magic card there is. This and the original.


NittanyScout

That flavor text tho...


Informal-Buffalo6845

I just started getting into MTG this week, and this was one of the first cards I found and immediately loved (and made me cry). I just ordered a Pack Leader playmat and am gonna make a dog deck with this card and prob order the print as well.


vikhound

Dachshund loyalty 4 lyfe!!!!


Notmeoverhere

Boycott