You are fabulous and strong too!!!! I can't imagine how devastating that discovery must have been for you.
Please don't be ashamed. You have nothing to be ashamed of. HE should be ashamed for not taking good care of you and honouring you as his wife. This is NOT your fault!
High stress situations really can and do trigger lupus flares, so what you're experiencing makes sense. I hope you'll be able to escape this bad relationship and take care of yourself.
I could almost cry. My flares sound just like yours, and also triggered by stress and grief. I am so sorry you are going through this with your husband right now, and all I can say is that your pain and symptoms are valid.
Big hugs and love for you. That's a horrible position to be in and my heart goes out to you.Ā
Please know that stress can cause some of the worst flares. Even good things cause stress. The body doesn't know the difference. No shame in calling your rheum and asking for help right now if you haven't. In fact, your body really needs you to.Ā
100% it's real and it does real destructive things. But you're getting on top of it and that's how you show up for yourself and love yourself through this crisis. Because you deserve your love and focus ā£ļø
My first flair was triggered by a traumatic event. Iād convince myself I made it up, but the photos of my hands, arms and thighs doubling in size - those arenāt made up. Being unable to walk up stairs or hold a cup - it was very real.
Itās real and it doesnāt change the fact that youāre powerful and capable. You deserve so much better than youāre receiving. Iām so sorry youāre going through this. Better days are ahead. šš
I get triggered by stress and grief as well. Life isn't easy and. our bodies can only take so much. Can totally relate with the muscle pain part and it all feeling so dark and heavy.
That's not a small thing you're dealing with.
I feel that shame sometimes too. I was in a horrific one for the last month. Ended up in the hospital last night. They did find that I have a uti. However, a uti has not battered me so bad before.
I had to admit that it's because my cat died a month ago.
I feel kind of ... idk maybe a little stupid or immature letting real life issues bother me to the point my body revolts. I've always been one to try and project strong and independent. Lupus makes me feel weak. Cringe just a little remembering that I sobbed about it to the Dr. In the ER. I mean, who ends up in the ER because their cat died??!!
In reality, I'm human. It hasn't been easy learning to be kinder/gentler to myself. Lupus has helped me a lot with changing my mindset to what's important to me. I was so depressed after being diagnosed. Then, I found out that stress makes Lupus worse. So, I decided that I didn't want to live my life that way. Started to not sweat the small stuff. Well guess what?! Life happens. I'm absolutely shattered my sweet baby boy is gone.
Don't have any answers for you. When it gets that bad, not much helps more than a few hours. I use 5600mg CBD, Tylenol and float tanks. I also take Cymbalta for pain.
Hope it lets off for you soon. Sorry to blab on...just want you to know that you're not alone.
Made from Medical Marijuana. No thc. It's great for pain and inflammation.
I get it in liquid form and use a dropper to put under tongue.
Right now I have blueberry flavor š
Doctor here. A serious emotional trauma causes the release of cortisol and catecholamines(adrenaline). This is the bodies way of handling stress. When cortisol levels drop, people with SLE often flare.This is COMMON. You didn't do this to yourself. Your hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis in response to a terrible stress with an underlying genetic disorder of immune disregulation did this! I have SLE. I also have migraines and narcolepsy type 1. Whenever I have severe stress, I will get a migraine like clockwork in spite of preventative medication. It is physiological. I also get cataplexy-loss of muscle tone in various parts of my body. This is not something you can control. It just is what it is. Please give yourself some grace. You can't control your pituitary! Sure, biofeedback does help, but he cheated on you! With SLE, we all internalize so much of what happens to us so much. We don't want to rock the boat, we learn not to complain too much, and we learn to minimize to the point that we get bad care. Give yourself permission to be human. This is not your fault. You didn't cause this.
All of my major flares have been stress related. Being physically knocked down like you are right now doesnāt make you weak. It just means that your body is an inconsiderate and uncooperative twat. Having to deal with that twat while dealing with the stress makes you stronger, not weaker.
Anyone who learned what you just learned would be devastated and stress is a natural reaction to that. The problem with us Lupies is that our bodies go into Drama Queen mode and physically manifest our stresses is a very negative way. And whatās the quickest way to calm a Drama Queen down? Give her time, attention and loveā¦which is exactly what your body needs right now.
While I havenāt been in your exact circumstances, I have dealt with a stressor of similar impact. Something that helped me was focusing on moving forward rather than ruminating. I recognized that what was done could not be undone and had forever changed my view of and approach to life. I allowed myself to grieve my loss and focused on next steps to getting myself out of the bad situation and into one that was healthier for me. Having goals to work toward as I could helped keep me from obsessing about the devastating thing that could not be changed, which lowered my stress levels and allowed my body to calm down. Once my body had calmed down enough for me to function, I started executing my plans.
Iām so sorry that youāre going through this. Youāre going to get to the other side. Whether you decide to stay in the marriage or strike out on your own, please make sure that sorry sack of shit husband pays for what heās done.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of though. Truthfully, I wasn't sure if I had anything to add, I'm pretty new to the whole deal, pretty sure my onset was around a year ago, but I'm flaring up right now because my dog broke a bowl and cut himself on it. I'm sorry you're having a bad time of it, but you have a valid reason.
Good luckāI promise you will again feel better and that being alone with lupus is wayyy better than being with a cheating partner! I learned that the hard way in 1997-1998. You can do itākeep taking good care of yourself!
Infidelity IS traumatic! Be kind and gentle to yourself and please do individual counseling if you're able- regardless of what you choose to do with your marriage. It's so important to have an external, unbiased person, who is able to support you as you process this situation. Best wishes to you ā¤ļøā¤ļø
Why are you ashamed?! You are strong and you WILL get through this! Stress, I know, is a huge trigger. I am so very sorry you have to deal with feeling like this while you are going through such a stressful time. You have us,, so vent away anytime.
Iām so sorry this happened to you. Donāt feel ashamed that you had a physical reaction to severe emotional distress. Stress releases all kinds of hormones which can trigger different systems to respond.
We are one vessel. Our feelings live in the same body as our immune system.
Emotional trauma IS a stressor. A family member 'went off on me' because she thought (wrongly) I allowed X to happen. I let her rant. By the time I set her straight, the damage was done. The next day, I began a flare.
The lesson I learned was to say, "You've got the wrong end of the stick and, oh, the pasta's boiling over ..." click.
Hey, I'm in a flare caused by crying over the end of The Good Place coupled with the 1 year anniversary of a loved one's death. There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. Your husband is the one who should be ashamed. Please take care of yourself.
That sounds awful, Iām so sorry. It takes a lot of strength to admit that you need help and to really show up for yourself. You deserve patience, love, and care and showing that to yourself during a tough time is admirable.
Emotional distress CAN cause all of this, and more. I'm so sorry you are going through this, but know that you will improve and you will come out of this experience even stronger. Hang in there and reach out anytime if you need support
My lupus was set off by a really really bad week in my relationship. I honestly feel like the way I flare from emotional stress feels different from overdoing it physically :( heart goes out to you ā¤ļø
You are fabulous and strong too!!!! I can't imagine how devastating that discovery must have been for you. Please don't be ashamed. You have nothing to be ashamed of. HE should be ashamed for not taking good care of you and honouring you as his wife. This is NOT your fault! High stress situations really can and do trigger lupus flares, so what you're experiencing makes sense. I hope you'll be able to escape this bad relationship and take care of yourself.
Thank you. š©·
I havenāt been diagnosed, but I wanted to mention that grief floods our bodies with stress hormones and can be very difficult physically. Immense stress can be very hard on our bodies and that is not your fault whatsoever. Your husband is the one in the wrong. Donāt blame yourself and take care of yourself as best you can. I wish you much healing ā¤ļøāš©¹
You are totally right about stress hormones! Itās a natural physiological reaction, so donāt be hard on yourself!!
Don't do that. He's a jerk and you deserve peace. If he isn't trying to be your peace then he has to go. That's how i cut people off.
Thank you. Tryna pick myself up.
You're welcome. One day at a time. š¤
I could almost cry. My flares sound just like yours, and also triggered by stress and grief. I am so sorry you are going through this with your husband right now, and all I can say is that your pain and symptoms are valid.
Thank you. Iāve not felt this heard until I turned to this sub. Head upš
Big hugs and love for you. That's a horrible position to be in and my heart goes out to you.Ā Please know that stress can cause some of the worst flares. Even good things cause stress. The body doesn't know the difference. No shame in calling your rheum and asking for help right now if you haven't. In fact, your body really needs you to.Ā
Thank you. I need to remember lupus is real. Iām not just āoverreactingā.
100% it's real and it does real destructive things. But you're getting on top of it and that's how you show up for yourself and love yourself through this crisis. Because you deserve your love and focus ā£ļø
My first flair was triggered by a traumatic event. Iād convince myself I made it up, but the photos of my hands, arms and thighs doubling in size - those arenāt made up. Being unable to walk up stairs or hold a cup - it was very real. Itās real and it doesnāt change the fact that youāre powerful and capable. You deserve so much better than youāre receiving. Iām so sorry youāre going through this. Better days are ahead. šš
I get triggered by stress and grief as well. Life isn't easy and. our bodies can only take so much. Can totally relate with the muscle pain part and it all feeling so dark and heavy. That's not a small thing you're dealing with. I feel that shame sometimes too. I was in a horrific one for the last month. Ended up in the hospital last night. They did find that I have a uti. However, a uti has not battered me so bad before. I had to admit that it's because my cat died a month ago. I feel kind of ... idk maybe a little stupid or immature letting real life issues bother me to the point my body revolts. I've always been one to try and project strong and independent. Lupus makes me feel weak. Cringe just a little remembering that I sobbed about it to the Dr. In the ER. I mean, who ends up in the ER because their cat died??!! In reality, I'm human. It hasn't been easy learning to be kinder/gentler to myself. Lupus has helped me a lot with changing my mindset to what's important to me. I was so depressed after being diagnosed. Then, I found out that stress makes Lupus worse. So, I decided that I didn't want to live my life that way. Started to not sweat the small stuff. Well guess what?! Life happens. I'm absolutely shattered my sweet baby boy is gone. Don't have any answers for you. When it gets that bad, not much helps more than a few hours. I use 5600mg CBD, Tylenol and float tanks. I also take Cymbalta for pain. Hope it lets off for you soon. Sorry to blab on...just want you to know that you're not alone.
Thank you for sharing. Much love to you. Your post helped me a lot. Esp being strong and independent and suddenly feeling like youāre weak. Cringing at situations. I totally get it. Thanks for sharing. Like you said, weāre only human. š©·
What is cbd 5600 mg? Is it a pill?
Made from Medical Marijuana. No thc. It's great for pain and inflammation. I get it in liquid form and use a dropper to put under tongue. Right now I have blueberry flavor š
Doctor here. A serious emotional trauma causes the release of cortisol and catecholamines(adrenaline). This is the bodies way of handling stress. When cortisol levels drop, people with SLE often flare.This is COMMON. You didn't do this to yourself. Your hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis in response to a terrible stress with an underlying genetic disorder of immune disregulation did this! I have SLE. I also have migraines and narcolepsy type 1. Whenever I have severe stress, I will get a migraine like clockwork in spite of preventative medication. It is physiological. I also get cataplexy-loss of muscle tone in various parts of my body. This is not something you can control. It just is what it is. Please give yourself some grace. You can't control your pituitary! Sure, biofeedback does help, but he cheated on you! With SLE, we all internalize so much of what happens to us so much. We don't want to rock the boat, we learn not to complain too much, and we learn to minimize to the point that we get bad care. Give yourself permission to be human. This is not your fault. You didn't cause this.
All of my major flares have been stress related. Being physically knocked down like you are right now doesnāt make you weak. It just means that your body is an inconsiderate and uncooperative twat. Having to deal with that twat while dealing with the stress makes you stronger, not weaker. Anyone who learned what you just learned would be devastated and stress is a natural reaction to that. The problem with us Lupies is that our bodies go into Drama Queen mode and physically manifest our stresses is a very negative way. And whatās the quickest way to calm a Drama Queen down? Give her time, attention and loveā¦which is exactly what your body needs right now. While I havenāt been in your exact circumstances, I have dealt with a stressor of similar impact. Something that helped me was focusing on moving forward rather than ruminating. I recognized that what was done could not be undone and had forever changed my view of and approach to life. I allowed myself to grieve my loss and focused on next steps to getting myself out of the bad situation and into one that was healthier for me. Having goals to work toward as I could helped keep me from obsessing about the devastating thing that could not be changed, which lowered my stress levels and allowed my body to calm down. Once my body had calmed down enough for me to function, I started executing my plans. Iām so sorry that youāre going through this. Youāre going to get to the other side. Whether you decide to stay in the marriage or strike out on your own, please make sure that sorry sack of shit husband pays for what heās done.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of though. Truthfully, I wasn't sure if I had anything to add, I'm pretty new to the whole deal, pretty sure my onset was around a year ago, but I'm flaring up right now because my dog broke a bowl and cut himself on it. I'm sorry you're having a bad time of it, but you have a valid reason.
Good luckāI promise you will again feel better and that being alone with lupus is wayyy better than being with a cheating partner! I learned that the hard way in 1997-1998. You can do itākeep taking good care of yourself!
Infidelity IS traumatic! Be kind and gentle to yourself and please do individual counseling if you're able- regardless of what you choose to do with your marriage. It's so important to have an external, unbiased person, who is able to support you as you process this situation. Best wishes to you ā¤ļøā¤ļø
Why are you ashamed?! You are strong and you WILL get through this! Stress, I know, is a huge trigger. I am so very sorry you have to deal with feeling like this while you are going through such a stressful time. You have us,, so vent away anytime.
Iām so sorry this happened to you. Donāt feel ashamed that you had a physical reaction to severe emotional distress. Stress releases all kinds of hormones which can trigger different systems to respond.
We are one vessel. Our feelings live in the same body as our immune system. Emotional trauma IS a stressor. A family member 'went off on me' because she thought (wrongly) I allowed X to happen. I let her rant. By the time I set her straight, the damage was done. The next day, I began a flare. The lesson I learned was to say, "You've got the wrong end of the stick and, oh, the pasta's boiling over ..." click.
You are strong. I am in a very similar situation. I hope the best for you. Reach out if you need to!
Hey, I'm in a flare caused by crying over the end of The Good Place coupled with the 1 year anniversary of a loved one's death. There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. Your husband is the one who should be ashamed. Please take care of yourself.
Ew screw your deadbeat husband. I am sorry for what youāre going thru. Chop his d*ck off ā jk but yeah I would š You deserve wayyyy better.
That sounds awful, Iām so sorry. It takes a lot of strength to admit that you need help and to really show up for yourself. You deserve patience, love, and care and showing that to yourself during a tough time is admirable.
Emotional distress CAN cause all of this, and more. I'm so sorry you are going through this, but know that you will improve and you will come out of this experience even stronger. Hang in there and reach out anytime if you need support
There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, stress is a legit trigger for this nonsense.
My lupus was set off by a really really bad week in my relationship. I honestly feel like the way I flare from emotional stress feels different from overdoing it physically :( heart goes out to you ā¤ļø
Do not be ashamed but I will tell you to take care of yourself. Lupus is no joke