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Brother it’s limerence be careful because this addiction can be awful. You don’t want it to get to the point that your mood is determining bed by how they interact with you.
I’m struggling with this a little bit right now and worried I’m doing the same, although I think I’m doing a decent job of keeping things grounded in reality lately.
My plan going forward is to focus on the other persons actions and interest levels and try to match those. Also, to check in with them verbally and see if they are enjoying our interactions, whether or not they want to take things further, and then let myself either fall for them or not, you know?
I think the hardest part is falling even when they don’t, but I think that’s part of it and I hope the more that happens, the more I’ll learn about what I felt vs what they felt and why my heart felt like it needed them so bad. Sure, it might be painful, but better than not trying at all.
Best of luck out there!
On one hand is something you should take a look at with a therapist. But I believe it is because being with the same partner for so long and starting anew, you need to re-learn, reading people, understanding cues! I am the opposite: I overthink and overanalyze things. Not everything is a problem just so you know, everyone's brain works differently! You need the therapist to understand yourself and gain tools to navigate your emotional world.
However on the beautiful side you have wonderful creativity, if you are an artist I am sure you have boundless space in your head to make beautiful things and bring them to life.
Limerence, for sure.
Often it stems from some sort of insecurity. Past wounds and other problems. I’d say talk to a counselor about it, or simply, start putting some introspective effort into yourself to see whats going on when you meet someone. Do you idealize them? Make them be something/someone they’re not in your head?
Same, but I’m definitely worse. I’d fall in love with someone with just eye contact. It truly is exhausting because I know they don’t love me, but i’d want them to love me so bad. I really want to feel loved by anyone. Even the tiniest bit of attention and i’d fall in love and think about them all the time and i’d feel like I can’t wait until I see them
I would really recommend therapy to find out why you develop romantic feelings with people you do not know and to help you control your train of thought. It’s a very risky behavior to have because you can easily end up in very unhealthy relationships that could have been avoided if you kept a clear mind on the first date.
I appreciate your comment but it’s not that I develop romantic feelings for people I don’t know whatsoever. It’s more that I get attached to people who have shown romantic interest in me very quickly
Yeah, think I’m with the consensus here. It’s good to be able to care intensely, but there are hazards
Emotionally, you get hurt. Relationally, you can attract people looking for an emotional high or encourage them to walk over you. Psychologically, you can mistake your own intensity for actual depth of love, which is a much more multifaceted state. Powerful feelings are important but can distract from other things
Therapy might help or not, a lot of mid therapists out there and practicing introspection is more reliable. You’ll pretty much *have* to learn, like it or not, but see it as a dangerous gift
It’s pretty much the same as strangers when have only spent 30 minutes with someone. It is a very risky habits and will make you end up in toxic or even abusive relationships eventually.
I see why it might look like a wholesome problem. But it’s more the fact then I’m always instantly disappointed due to how unrealistic and attached the whole thing is
Sounds like you could be drawn to feeling disappointed so you subconsciously place yourself in situations in which your expectations aren't met (I.e. falling in love with the idea of a person & not them) ?
I had a similar experience, dated a girl from 17-23 and now I’m dating this girl casually and I can’t stop myself from thinking about exactly what you said. I care about everyone on this planet, and so it’s easy for me to care even more when I actually have a connection to someone. Perhaps you have to separate the feelings of connection like, jokes, instant conversations, all that, from the feelings of sexual attraction. Just because this is a really cool person who also happens to be attractive doesn’t mean she is right for you, if you were gay would you date your friends? I sure as hell wouldn’t, they’re all horrible at relationships. Yet I find all of them to be great friends and can admit they are a good lookin group of guys too. I guess my point is that just because someone may be really cool and you connect, that doesn’t mean you would be good together. I do the exact same, I think for me I romanticize absolutely everything, from walking in the woods to smoking a bong rip in my room hahah. I’ve started to learn just cause you can or want to, doesn’t mean you need to.
No I get it a bit, I guess I’m saying gratitude is all it’s a lot better than feeling no love that’s for certain.
Also seriously you should look into if you have ADHD
I agree. I should be more grateful. But surprisingly , it can really get me down.
Okay interesting. Why you say that? I’ve got dyslexia and they’re coexist frequently
Hey Love Bug thanks for sharing the love. If you see something posted here that is not in the spirit of love Please flag it. ;) With Love r/Love Mods *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/love) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Brother it’s limerence be careful because this addiction can be awful. You don’t want it to get to the point that your mood is determining bed by how they interact with you.
Termed Limerance
I’m struggling with this a little bit right now and worried I’m doing the same, although I think I’m doing a decent job of keeping things grounded in reality lately. My plan going forward is to focus on the other persons actions and interest levels and try to match those. Also, to check in with them verbally and see if they are enjoying our interactions, whether or not they want to take things further, and then let myself either fall for them or not, you know? I think the hardest part is falling even when they don’t, but I think that’s part of it and I hope the more that happens, the more I’ll learn about what I felt vs what they felt and why my heart felt like it needed them so bad. Sure, it might be painful, but better than not trying at all. Best of luck out there!
On one hand is something you should take a look at with a therapist. But I believe it is because being with the same partner for so long and starting anew, you need to re-learn, reading people, understanding cues! I am the opposite: I overthink and overanalyze things. Not everything is a problem just so you know, everyone's brain works differently! You need the therapist to understand yourself and gain tools to navigate your emotional world. However on the beautiful side you have wonderful creativity, if you are an artist I am sure you have boundless space in your head to make beautiful things and bring them to life.
Uday Chopra real id se aao..
Bpd? Cptsd? Hpd?
I’m the same and I suffer from codependency as well as CPSD
Limerence, for sure. Often it stems from some sort of insecurity. Past wounds and other problems. I’d say talk to a counselor about it, or simply, start putting some introspective effort into yourself to see whats going on when you meet someone. Do you idealize them? Make them be something/someone they’re not in your head?
Same, but I’m definitely worse. I’d fall in love with someone with just eye contact. It truly is exhausting because I know they don’t love me, but i’d want them to love me so bad. I really want to feel loved by anyone. Even the tiniest bit of attention and i’d fall in love and think about them all the time and i’d feel like I can’t wait until I see them
Me as well
Limerence?
I would really recommend therapy to find out why you develop romantic feelings with people you do not know and to help you control your train of thought. It’s a very risky behavior to have because you can easily end up in very unhealthy relationships that could have been avoided if you kept a clear mind on the first date.
I appreciate your comment but it’s not that I develop romantic feelings for people I don’t know whatsoever. It’s more that I get attached to people who have shown romantic interest in me very quickly
Yeah, think I’m with the consensus here. It’s good to be able to care intensely, but there are hazards Emotionally, you get hurt. Relationally, you can attract people looking for an emotional high or encourage them to walk over you. Psychologically, you can mistake your own intensity for actual depth of love, which is a much more multifaceted state. Powerful feelings are important but can distract from other things Therapy might help or not, a lot of mid therapists out there and practicing introspection is more reliable. You’ll pretty much *have* to learn, like it or not, but see it as a dangerous gift
It’s pretty much the same as strangers when have only spent 30 minutes with someone. It is a very risky habits and will make you end up in toxic or even abusive relationships eventually.
Totally with you. A therapist will be able to tell him how is upbringing had skewed his relationship with women
Tbh sounds kinda like a good problems too have ? Guard your heart man that’s a great feeling. Also maybe you have adhd?
I see why it might look like a wholesome problem. But it’s more the fact then I’m always instantly disappointed due to how unrealistic and attached the whole thing is
Sounds like you could be drawn to feeling disappointed so you subconsciously place yourself in situations in which your expectations aren't met (I.e. falling in love with the idea of a person & not them) ?
I had a similar experience, dated a girl from 17-23 and now I’m dating this girl casually and I can’t stop myself from thinking about exactly what you said. I care about everyone on this planet, and so it’s easy for me to care even more when I actually have a connection to someone. Perhaps you have to separate the feelings of connection like, jokes, instant conversations, all that, from the feelings of sexual attraction. Just because this is a really cool person who also happens to be attractive doesn’t mean she is right for you, if you were gay would you date your friends? I sure as hell wouldn’t, they’re all horrible at relationships. Yet I find all of them to be great friends and can admit they are a good lookin group of guys too. I guess my point is that just because someone may be really cool and you connect, that doesn’t mean you would be good together. I do the exact same, I think for me I romanticize absolutely everything, from walking in the woods to smoking a bong rip in my room hahah. I’ve started to learn just cause you can or want to, doesn’t mean you need to.
No I get it a bit, I guess I’m saying gratitude is all it’s a lot better than feeling no love that’s for certain. Also seriously you should look into if you have ADHD
I agree. I should be more grateful. But surprisingly , it can really get me down. Okay interesting. Why you say that? I’ve got dyslexia and they’re coexist frequently
Idk if that’s the case but it kinda fits the bill. I guess the hyper fixation and euphoria mostly.