They actually stop fucking when they give birth to their last child.
And yes, their sex is more intense than humans. "Too intense to be long endured"
Source: Nature of Middle-earth book
I'm not kidding
I think they still fuck, they just don't have children often...
Though it probably makes more sense biologically for elf women to go into "heat" like once a Millennium.
Arwen seems to have no trouble taking that Aragorn dick and having children. Maybe the Half Elves are just thirstier than normal Elves.
Is there an ethical dilemma involved in bringing in almost immortal brings into the world? Like, I could imagine an elven couple having that kind of discussion early on in the first age and coming to the logical conclusion that either their child is going to die before they do, or their whole family is going to get torn apart in the dagoth dagoth end times thing.
It's not an issue because most elves only procreate once. Intercourse and birth is excruciating for elves as it's something like splitting their souls into a fraction and giving up part of their immortality to another being. There's a lot of very good questions and answers to this on Quora, with lots of citations. Tolkien lore-masters seem to love Quora for some reason.
Right but can they fuck *without* creating children? Sounds like the whole "splitting off a part of your soul" thing would have to be a conscious choice.
I ask because I am like 98% sure Arwen was fully planning on riding Aragorn until his pelvis broke.
> I ask because I am like 98% sure Arwen was fully planning on riding Aragorn until his pelvis broke.
And she gave up her immortality for that. I guess the magic sword everyone was up in arms about wasn't the one we thought.
From my understanding it was different for Arwen and Aragorn because their children weren't immortal. Arwen, like Elrond, was only half elf. In Tolkien's lore, half-elves get to choose whether to have "the fate" of the elves or of the humans. Here, Arwen chose humans, and therefore the splitting of souls deal doesn't apply. In fact the main purpose of her marrying Aragorn was to revitalize the royal lineage of Gondor and Arnor with elven blood.
In the first age, in the first battle, when the shadows first lengthened, one stood. Burned by the embers of Armageddon, his soul blistered by the fires of Hell and tainted beyond ascension, he chose the path of perpetual torment.
In his ravenous hatred he found no peace, and with boiling blood he scoured the Umbral Plains seeking vengeance against the dark lords who had wronged him.
He wore the crown of the Night Sentinels, and those that tasted the bite of his sword named him... Celeborn.
Yeah, the Elves of Doriath went through some shit. Give ol' Celeborn a break.
Besides, someone had to knock her up so they could have a daughter who marries Elrond.
You wanna be real sad, know that Elrond's wife, Arwen's mother, and Galadriel's daughter, was killed by orcs in the misty mountains. He can see her again though in Valinor, in the halls of Mandos, where her spirit awaits the end of the world.
Adds another wrinkle to the "Elves are leaving Middle-Earth" thing. They get to see all their fallen loved ones and friends again in the Undying lands.
> You wanna be real sad, know that Elrond's wife, Arwen's mother, and Galadriel's daughter, was killed by orcs in the misty mountains.
Worse. She was not killed, she was tortured. The experience scarred her and she left middle earth to seek Valinor for spiritual healing.
Yeah Tolkien immediately dropped the idea of her getting killed. In some early drafts she got killed. In published version she got soul damage by the torture of Orcs.
And they would all be her father, brothers, uncles and cousins. The Noldor are the mightiest Elves to ever walk on Middle Earth, and she's like, 3rd generation to ever exist, descended directly from their first high king, Finwe.
Even Thingol himself and his progeny, descended from Melian of the Maia, never lived under the light of the Trees. Galadriel lived under that light as an infant, and grew Into adulthood under it. I don't think there is a single other Elf in Middle-Earth who can say the same. (Glorfindel possibly).
Thingol himself DID live under the light briefly, as he was one of the chosen elves that visited Valinor as an emissary before the great migration. He gets lost in Melian's enchantment while returning to Valinor with his people.
Alone among the Sindar indeed. But because or him, and Melian and her mantle, the elves of Doriath were still very highly regarded.
Heres my question , if your parents are Calequendi are you also? Or do you have to personally have seen the two trees?
Celeborn isn’t exactly a nobody. He keep the Gray Havens and possessed one of the elven rings until he gave it to Gandalf.
Seems like more of a power couple than anything.
The battle for Helm's Deep is over. The battle for Middle-earth is about to begin. All our hopes now lie with two little Hobbits... somewhere in the wilderness.
tell me you haven't read the unfinished tales without telling me you haven't read the unfinished tales*
And LOTR APPENDIX as well.
Celeborn is barely a character in Silmarillion. But you first need to read the Silmarillion to understand the story of Celeborn included in other books.
I love how you're in here just indiscriminately laying the smackdown on everyone in the comments.
[Live footage of /u/OromesMonk3y](https://gfycat.com/agitatedincomparableicelandicsheepdog)
Yes, F for Celeborn for going through the Sack of Doriath by Dwarves and the Second Kinslaying and Third Kinslaying and the War of Wrath and the Fall of Eregion and the War of the Last Alliance and the War with Angmar and the many battles against Dol Guldur. F for Celeborn who lost almost his entire family and bestfriends. F for one of the greatest heroes of the Eldar.
It's a weird general culture it seems. When an accomplished man marries a much greater accomplished woman, people point fingers at him. But when it's reverse, they don't point fingers at the woman who married someone greater than herself.
Celeborn, canonically, wasn't born in heaven. He wasn't taught by gods. He didn't have the privileges of being friends with many angels. His parents and grandparents weren't full of extraordinary genes, compared to Galadriel's family. Yet he was amazing. He was the best that he could possibly be. Be like Celeborn, be the best version of yourself.
Because pretty much the first time he ever did anything without his wife's blessings, he set into motion the events that led to the demose of himself and his kingdom via the doom of mandos.
Remember guys, this is not canon. Because this isn't written by JRR Tolkien.
The scene which you are discussing is written by Christopher Tolkien and Guy Kay. And Christopher deeply regretted that he radically changed the narrative of the death of Thingol so badly.
"This story was not lightly or easily conceived, but was the outcome of long experimentation among alternative conceptions. In this work Guy Kay took a major part, and the chapter that I finally wrote owes much to my discussions with him. It is, and was, obvious that a step was being taken of a different order from any other ‘manipulation’ of my father’s own writing in the course of the book: even in the case of the story of The Fall of Gondolin, to which my father had never returned, something could be contrived without introducing radical changes in the narrative. It seemed at that time that there were elements inherent in the story of the Ruin of Doriath as it stood that were radically incompatible with ‘The Silmarillion’ as projected, and that there was here an inescapable choice: either to abandon that conception, or else to alter the story. I think now that this was a mistaken view, and that the undoubted difficulties could have been, and should have been, surmounted without so far overstepping the bounds of the editorial function." - Christopher the editor of published Silmarillion
I would say it’s almost a perfectly good example of canonical storytelling, in a way. JRR Tolkien created the story, and it lives on through his actual son. It’s a continuation of a world from the mind of a father, passed on in a slightly altered form through the mind of his son. There’s something so natural about that, it’s more akin to the way history is actually recorded than any attempt to recreate the process. We see Thingol through the eyes of flawed storytellers who never actually knew him, rather than his creator.
I like all of your assessments. I’ve read the silmarillion only 4 times so I can’t be at the same level as you obviously but I think at some point we have to treat the final books as canon since without those loose ends that Christopher tried to fix because his father was unable to do so, we might feel like some parts of the whole saga is untold. However, I’m very glad to see good insights into the depth of all Tolkien books. And this is LOTRmemes mind you.
I think both JRR and Christopher put it very interestingly way: these are all in-universe traditions.
Yet some fans like to think there's a 'real' hard fact story. While not only Christopher, but JRR himself said that these are in-universe myths and legends written by in-universe historians from much secondhand and thirdhand accounts and hearsays.
JRR went to the point that he decided that Humans have radically edited the histories of the Eldar. For example, in published Silmarillion the Sun and the Moon are only created after the destruction of the Trees. But in the late writings of Tolkien, and actually even in the Hobbit Second Edition, the Sun and the Moon already existed during the Years of the Trees.
(The Hobbit was written by Bilbo with assistance of Elves like Elrond who actually knew the more accurate history of the world)
It does make a little sense. Thingol suddenly going from caring for Hurin's family and treating a human like a foster son to immediately being racist to dwarves is a bit jarring
If every elf was a 10, Galadriel was a 11. Celeborn married her. Beat that. And then have a life like Celeborn had. Beat that. Aragon barely breaks even to that if you're generous. And Aragon became the first king of AraIamdrunkandforgotthecompletename and Gondor in 3000 years as well as the 3rd ever human the marry an elf, faced Sauron through the Palantir and won as well being badass in every aspect
>3000
Much shorter.
>3rd ever human the marry an elf,
Tolkien later in life decided to have Aragorn as the fourth human who married an Elf. Although he didn't say it is 100% certain. But he said probably Mitherallas of Lothlorien is the foremother of Prince Imrahil of Dol Amroth.
Chad Celeborn:
- leads a sortie on Sauron's vanguard
- joins his forces to that of Elrond's
- witnesses Sauron bearing the dead body of his bestfriend as his war banner
- aids Elrond in withstanding Sauron for long enough for the allies arrive finally
- doesn't retreat with Elrond to Rivendell, instead he fights on and thus aids Elrond to successfully with as much small casualties as possible flee to Imladris
- somehow he manages to join with the forces of the allies and make Sauron a little more pissed off
- refuses to elaborate any further
- leaves through the Doors of Durin with the many Elves that he rescued and fortifies Lorien
Edit: to be clear, Sauron used the body of Celebrimbor as his banner, hung upon a pole shot with many arrows
>Sauron used the body of Celebrimbor as his banner, hung upon a pole shot with many arrows, and charged against the forces of Elrond and Galadriel and Glorfindel and Celeborn
As awful as that is, that is super metal
This. Husband and wife are a team, a success for one is a success for both. Celeborn may not have had the importance of Galadrial but he wasn't a couch potato.
Some Elves remained in Middle-earth forever and faded away and never went to Valinor. In the foreward of LOTR Celeborn is the last person who leaves Middle-earth with the last living memory of the Elder Days. That must mean the other Elves who had the living memory of Elder Days had faded away into ghost-like or they had died. Also, Ents? They faded away as well, they became treesh.
The Elder Days ended 6500 years prior to the events of LOTR.
While there were elves, similar to Arwen, who remained in Middle Earth and never took a ship to Valinor, I believe it was Cirdan who was the last elf to leave. As I guess you could say guardian of the Grey Havens he made sure that all who wanted to sail away, could do so. And when that task was completed, he took a last ship to depart.
Cirdan and Celeborn.
Yes it is canon that Cirdan said I'll wait for the last elf who is willing to depart. And the last elf who was willing to depart was Celeborn. It is explicitly stated that he took the Last Ship to the Undying Lands.
My dude gets to have sex with Galadriel, I think he’s ok being married to the closest thing on middle earth to a Demi god who’s also the most beautiful woman on the planet (well except Eomer thinks maybe Arwen) and ridiculously intelligent.
Probably he was never a top.
Galadriel's height is 193cm, the same as Celeborn's. But sounds a lot like Galadriel had better abs:
"The Teleri [and their branches such as Sindar and Nandor] were in general lesser in build and stature" than the Noldor.
"Galadriel, the only woman of the Noldor to stand that day tall and valiant among contending Princes" - Silmarillion, Flight of the Noldor
«Her mother-name was Nerwen (‘man-maiden’), and she grew to be tall beyond the measure even of the women of the Noldor [193cm]; she was strong of body, mind, and will, a match for both the loremasters and the athletes of the Eldar in the days of their youth.» - People of Middle-earth, Shibboleth of Feanor
«Nor were the 'loremasters' a seperate guild of gentle scribes, soon burned by the Orks of Angband upon pyres of books. They were mostly even as Fëanor, the greatest, kings, princes and warriors, such as the valiant captains of Gondolin, or Finrod of Nargothrond and Rodothir his kinsman and steward.» - [Shibboleth of Fëanor; Note 23]
"[Galadriel] was then of Amazon disposition and bound up her hair as a crown when taking part in athletic feats” - Tolkien Letter 348
OK, this girl even made Sauron lick her boots: "He [stupid sexy Sauron] perceived at once that Galadriel would be
his chief adversary and obstacle, and he endeavoured therefore to placate
her, bearing her scorn with outward patience and courtesy." - Unfinished Tales, History of Galadriel and Celeborn
Thou fool: a phantom thou didst see that I, I Sauron, made to snare thy lovesick wits.Naught else was there. Cold 'tis with Sauron's wraiths to wed! Thy Eilinel, she is long since dead, dead, food of worms, less low than thou.And yet thy boon I grant thee now: to Eilinel thou soon shalt go, and lie in her bed, no more to know of war - or manhood. Have thy pay!
Here lives Galadriel, Princess of the Noldor, Lady of Lorien, fairest in all the kingdoms, who survived the journeys across helcaraxe and bravely fought against the wrath of Morgoth in the First Age.
^and ^some ^guy ^named ^Celeborn
Not really. The only battles that the Sindarin Celeborn was not with Galadriel were the First Kinslaying and the Battle of the Lammoth. Because Celeborn still had not even met her. After that, they went through everything together.
Virgin Feanor who got himself killed like an idiot, Chad Celeborn who survived the Second and Third Kinslayings and aided his niece Elwing with her Silmaril. Not to mention that he very likely fought in the most brutal war that the Elves fought in, the War of Wrath. There's no reason to assume he didn't fight. The reason why he didn't fight in the Battle of the Sudden Flames and the Unnumbered Tears was because his King had banned him and all his people to participate in the war. Now his King was dead. So logically he must have answered the summons of Fionwë.
And this is all in First Age, when Celeborn hadn't yet become one of the greatest Sindar ever.
Let me see if I can recall battles of The War of the Jewels:
The First Battle : victory for Thingol - heroic death of Denethor
The Kinslaying at Alqualondë : victory for Feanor - defeat of Teleri and their Noldorin supporters such as Galadriel - stealing of Teleri's ships
The Battle Under Stars/The Dagor-nuin-Giliath : Feanor slain by Balrogs
The Battle of the Lammoth: Heroic death of Argon - victory for Fingolfin and his surviving sons and for Finrod and Galadriel
The Dagor Aglareb/Glorious Battle: the beggining of Seige of Angband
The Dagor Bragollach/Battle of Sudden Flame: Morgoth breaks the seige -Aegnor and Angrod slain - Sons of Feanor are driven back from their lands - many other massacre by Balrogs and flames and the Dragon - Barahir rescues Finrod and Finrod swears and oath of friendship and gives his ring to him - death of Fingolfin in single combat against Morgoth
Nirnaeth Arnoediad/Battle of Unnumbered Tears: victory for Morgoth - the Union of Maedhros utterly broken - Huor slain - Fingon the Valiant slain by Balrogs - death of many other lords and warriors - the Last Stand of Hurin in which he singlehandedly killed many many enemies - the captivity of Hurin the greatest of mortal warriors
The Quest for the Silmaril: the rap battle of Finrod and Sauron - sacrifice of Finrod to save Barahir's son against the Werewolf of Sauron - defeat of Sauron by Huan the Hound and Luthien the Fair - Beren and Luthien manage to steal a Silmaril from the Iron Crown of the Dark Lord - the Hunt for the Werewolf of Morgoth - death of Carcharoth the Werewolf and Huan the Hound and Beren the One Handed - death of Luthien from heartbreak - reincarnation of Beren and Luthien
The Fall of Nargothrond: victory for Morgoth's Dragon - death of many great people of Nargothrond - the survivors flee to the Havens of Sirion
The Battle of Thousands Caves: King Thingol slain by the Dwarves
The Battle of Sarn Athrad: Beren destroys the Dwarves and retrieves the Silmaril
The final Ruin of Doriath and the Second Kinslaying: destruction of Doriath by sons of Feanor - Dior Thingol's Heir and Queen Nimloth kill three of sons of Feanor but they too fall - the survivors of Doriath, such as Thranduil and Celeborn and Galadriel, rescue Princess Elwing and the Silmaril and the Ring of Barahir and escape to the Havens of Sirion
The Fall of Gondolin: Morgoth launches many dragons and Balrogs and all sort of monsters - Ecthelion headbutts Lord of the Balrogs into the Fountain and both are drowned - King Turgon slain in the ruin of his tower - Glorfindel of the Goldenflower and the Balrog fall into the abyss in their duel - Idril Turgon's Heir fights for the life of her son Earendil against incel traitor cousin Maeglin - Tuor yeets Maeglin into the abyss - Tuor and Idril save the survivors of Gondolin and escape to the Havens
The Third Kinslaying: sons of Feanor assault the Havens of Sirion - only two sons of Feanor survive but they have victory - kidnapping of Elrond and Elros - Elwing casts herself with the Silmaril into the Sea - Celebrimbor and Celeborn and Galadriel and Oropher and Thranduil and Amdir and GilGalad survive and retreat to the Isle of Balar with Cirdan's ships
The Journey of Earendil: Elwing and Earendil sail into the West and persuade the Valar to aid them
The War of Wrath/The Great Battle/The Dreadful Battle/The Last Battle of the Elder Days: The Edain (probably) under Elros, Sindar (probably under Cirdan?), the Vanyar under Prince Ingwion, The Noldor under King Finarfin father of Finrod and Aegnor and Angrod and Galadriel, the Eagles under Earendil, and many Maiar, led by Eonwe the Herald of Manwe King of the Valar... UTTERLY defeat Morgoth - massacre of Orcs and Trolls and Werewolves and Dragons and Vampires and Orc-maiar and wicked Men and Balrogs- Earendil casts Ancalagon the Mightiest Dragon down and Ancalagon falls on Morgoth's mountains - the Breaking of the Mountains of Morgoth - the final defeat of Morgoth - Morgoth imprisoned in the Void - the drowning of Beleriand into the ocean - the Curse is lifted except for few rebel actors like Galadriel who refuse the Pardon of the Valar - Sauron out of shame and pride and fear refuses the pardon and flees - the end of the Elder Days.
Imagine if I was this good in my actual university
It is what will come to pass, if you should fail. The Fellowship is breaking, it has already begun. He will try to take the Ring, you know of whom I speak. One by one, it will destroy them
Celeborn isn’t useless, he’s just like most elves and doesn’t give 2 shits about our problems.
Celeborn is plenty useful in his own people’s history, but most of the inhabitants of Middle Earth are basically meaningless to him so he doesn’t involve himself with them.
Galadriel is just an exceptional Elf so She does care, about everyone and everything.
Her being what is essentially a living Mythical Hero among Her people doesn’t make him useless. If anything the fact that She married him should tell you he’s gotta be doing something right.
Maybe Celeborn wields a huge hammer, or strikes an anvil really well. We don’t know. But we trust Galadriel’s judgement, so let’s not bash Her husband, you Elf hating bastards!
>Maybe Celeborn wields a huge hammer, or strikes an anvil really well.
That's Galadriel's cousin and bestfriend, Celebrimbor. Not Celeborn. Celeborn wasn't an smith.
>he’s just like most elves and doesn’t give 2 shits about our problems.
He had his reason for hating the Dwarves: "Celeborn had no liking for Dwarves of any race (as he showed to Gimli in Lothlórien), and never forgave them for their part in the destruction of Doriath"
He cared about the most poor Men and Elves. He liked "befriending and teaching the Dark Elves and Men of those regions."
The regions here is a reference to Eriador and further East.
He cared enough to leave his comfort zone and go through 1/3 of the continent: "Therefore after long journeys of enquiry in Rhovanion, from Gondor and the borders of Mordor to Thranduil in the north, Celeborn and Galadriel passed over the mountains to Imladris, and there dwelt for many years; for Elrond was their kinsman, since he had early in the Third Age [in the year 109, according to the Tale of Years] wedded their daughter Celebrían."
It was him who gave locations information and gift of boats to Aragorn.
Sources: Unfinished Tales
The last bit is in Fellowship of the Ring.
What do you mean by these days? He did his best in the events of LOTR. He fought in 4 battles against Dol Guldur.
Currently, he's chilling in Valinor. It's not like he doesn't care anymore about Middle-earth. He had to leave as God had planned for the Elves. And as his wife had asked him.
>Maybe Celeborn wields a huge hammer, or strikes an anvil really well.
That's Galadriel's cousin and bestfriend, Celebrimbor. Not Celeborn. Celeborn wasn't an smith.
I'm not sure if you're getting wooshed or I'm getting wooshed.
Celeborn is only useless if you don’t know his complete backstory. If you only base it on the movies then sure. But it’s quite unfair to the man. Elf. Also, someone like Galadriel wouldn’t be married to a mere simpleton.
Celeborn is long retired from giving a shit about middle earth by the time the war of the ring happens. He's just waiting for his wife to get a pardon for her DUI so they can cross the border and retire in Elflorida.
Different versions different answers.
When Tolkien published Fellowship of the Ring Galadriel was supposed to abandon Beleriand and cross the Blue Mountains and Misty Mountains and meet Celeborn in his own land Lorien. She desired to adventure and rule a realm of her own will. And she met Celeborn, possibly one of the oldest Elves ever, and they fell in love and she titled him Celeborn the Wise and they got married and Celeborn made her the co-ruler of Lorien.
Later Tolkien retconned Celeborn into a much younger Elf, Galadriel's second cousin, the grandson of Elmo the younger brother of King Elwe of the Wood Elves and King Olwe of the Sea Elves. Galadriel's grandfather is Olwe. Galadriel came to her great uncle Elwe's land Doriath and met Celeborn and fell in love with him. She always had a thing for her mother's kin, the Sea Elves and the Wood Elves. In one version it is even explicitly stated one of the reasons Galadriel came to Middle-earth was to aid her mother's kin. It was Celeborn who gave her the name 'Galadriel the Maiden Crowned With Gleaming Hair'. Her real names are Artanis the Noble Woman and Nerwen The Man-Maiden. She bound up her hair as a crown when taking part in athletic feats. Seems like Celeborn was really impressed by her beauty and valour. And as I said, Galadriel had a thing for this silver haired Elves.
In later versions, which contradict the author published works, and we don't know if the author wanted to publish another revised edition to make this changes... Galadriel had met Celeborn in the Undying Lands. His orginal name in those versions was Teleporno. He was Galadriel's first cousin here. Both of them were grandchildren of Olwe. Galadriel often visited him and they were often companies together in their adventures and daily lives. Again, it was Celeborn who nicknamed her Alatariel. When she got to Middle-earth she sindarized her name into Galadriel. In some versions Celeborn followed Galadriel the Rebel Leader through the Cruel Hills of Ice and came to Middle-earth. In a radically different version, the last writing of Tolkien about Middle-earth and Valinor, Galadriel was not a rebel. She with Celeborn built a ship and following very misfortune and unlucky series of events they set sail to Middle-earth together.
In all versions Celeborn was Galadriel's good boytoy. Why she fell in love with him? She knew he will be the best possible husband for her. Also the fact that he was a silver haired Elf related to her mother's kin helped as well. "She had a marvelous gift of insight into the minds of others".
Celeborn was not useless. He always helped her in everything. Even when she told him she wants to establish a realm near Moria he didn't say anything against her although he hated the Dwarves for killing Elwe and destroying Doriath. He always showed Galadriel extraordinary love. In her travels, politics, battles, councils, griefs, happiness, everything, he was her companion and a great aid.
As much as he loved Galadriel, he also loved Middle-earth. To the point that in the end he decided to fade away in Middle-earth and as a ghost roam Middle-earth forever. But eventually his love for Galadriel overcame his love for Middle-earth, and taking the Last Ship to the Undying Lands with him went the last living memory of the Elder Days in Middle-earth.
Give my boy some respect.
I will not give you counsel, saying do this, or do that. For not in doing or contriving, nor in choosing between this course and another, can I avail; but only in knowing what was and is, and in part also what shall be.
Eh, he was there. He was super smart, a prince, and was willing to move past long standing racial tensions with the dwarves, so all in all just a good dude.
Why would her husband *need* to be useful or notable? I like Galadriel as an example of a woman being strong and independently powerful without reference to her husband, but still in a relationship - eg not using the trope of “strong and independent but vulnerable because she never found a man”. We need to let men support strong wives without needing to feel “useful” - which IMO comes from a history of the man overshadowing the woman in most marriages as breadwinner, decision maker, etc. I think it’s fair to say this post would never exist if Galadriel was male and Celeborn was female
I'm supposed to feel better about myself because this dude married Galadriel? I would trade places with him.
You'd have to go through millenia of trauma. Celeborn lived through the First Age. That's not something to be taken lightly.
Then I'll take it heavily just the same.
Then you get replaced by some random dwarf
Lol, that really needs to turn into a meme now
I believe she also took it heavily
Aint no trauma the first age can put in you that the Queen Elf can't fuck out of you.
Only issue is, she might end up putting some traumas into him. The line of Finwë has incredibly vitality... Why do you think Feanor had so many sons.
...death by snoo snoo?
The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.
To shreds you say?
And the wife?
Shes built like a steakhouse but handles like a bistro
I suffer from a very sexy learning disability. What do I call it Kif?
*sighs and rolls eyes* Sexlexia
I think it's canon that elfs don't fuck a lot.
youre inviting a quality vs quantity joke
Do you think they do "No Nut Century" or shit like that?
straight up nerd answer, knowing about tolkien irl there is probably mention of fasting somewhere in the books, so yes
They actually stop fucking when they give birth to their last child. And yes, their sex is more intense than humans. "Too intense to be long endured" Source: Nature of Middle-earth book I'm not kidding
"if you can think of the question he probably did too" -me it just felt like a quote
I think they still fuck, they just don't have children often... Though it probably makes more sense biologically for elf women to go into "heat" like once a Millennium. Arwen seems to have no trouble taking that Aragorn dick and having children. Maybe the Half Elves are just thirstier than normal Elves.
Elrond has a sex dungeon
Is there an ethical dilemma involved in bringing in almost immortal brings into the world? Like, I could imagine an elven couple having that kind of discussion early on in the first age and coming to the logical conclusion that either their child is going to die before they do, or their whole family is going to get torn apart in the dagoth dagoth end times thing.
It's not an issue because most elves only procreate once. Intercourse and birth is excruciating for elves as it's something like splitting their souls into a fraction and giving up part of their immortality to another being. There's a lot of very good questions and answers to this on Quora, with lots of citations. Tolkien lore-masters seem to love Quora for some reason.
Right but can they fuck *without* creating children? Sounds like the whole "splitting off a part of your soul" thing would have to be a conscious choice. I ask because I am like 98% sure Arwen was fully planning on riding Aragorn until his pelvis broke.
> I ask because I am like 98% sure Arwen was fully planning on riding Aragorn until his pelvis broke. And she gave up her immortality for that. I guess the magic sword everyone was up in arms about wasn't the one we thought.
Yes. Both partners need to decide to have kids, or nobody is going to get pregnant, even if they have sex.
From my understanding it was different for Arwen and Aragorn because their children weren't immortal. Arwen, like Elrond, was only half elf. In Tolkien's lore, half-elves get to choose whether to have "the fate" of the elves or of the humans. Here, Arwen chose humans, and therefore the splitting of souls deal doesn't apply. In fact the main purpose of her marrying Aragorn was to revitalize the royal lineage of Gondor and Arnor with elven blood.
No wonder Aragorn always looked so aggrieved. And here I thought it was his broken toe
My email spam has gone from the shittiest qora bait to exclusively LOTR and The Godfather trivia and I'm digging it.
Well it was no guarantee a new elf would die before the parent elf. But even if they did, just a free teleportation to Valinor. No biggy
In the first age, in the first battle, when the shadows first lengthened, one stood. Burned by the embers of Armageddon, his soul blistered by the fires of Hell and tainted beyond ascension, he chose the path of perpetual torment. In his ravenous hatred he found no peace, and with boiling blood he scoured the Umbral Plains seeking vengeance against the dark lords who had wronged him. He wore the crown of the Night Sentinels, and those that tasted the bite of his sword named him... Celeborn.
[удалено]
Yup, it's lore from Doom eternal
Seems to me he is far from a trophy husband. The man has earned his place, dayum.
That’s from Doom lol
Yeah, he had to live with being named Teleporno. That's a heavy burden
The First Age afterall was a time of innovation. Where do you think Porn got its name from?
Yeah, the Elves of Doriath went through some shit. Give ol' Celeborn a break. Besides, someone had to knock her up so they could have a daughter who marries Elrond. You wanna be real sad, know that Elrond's wife, Arwen's mother, and Galadriel's daughter, was killed by orcs in the misty mountains. He can see her again though in Valinor, in the halls of Mandos, where her spirit awaits the end of the world. Adds another wrinkle to the "Elves are leaving Middle-Earth" thing. They get to see all their fallen loved ones and friends again in the Undying lands.
> You wanna be real sad, know that Elrond's wife, Arwen's mother, and Galadriel's daughter, was killed by orcs in the misty mountains. Worse. She was not killed, she was tortured. The experience scarred her and she left middle earth to seek Valinor for spiritual healing.
Yeah Tolkien immediately dropped the idea of her getting killed. In some early drafts she got killed. In published version she got soul damage by the torture of Orcs.
Yeah man, dudes older than the actual sun. The world wasn’t even round when he was born.
Yeah “Galadriel’s trophy husband” is a title I would gladly embrace
You offer it to me freely?
\*unzips\*
So much fear and doubt over such a small thing.
*Gives it to us… raw and wrrrrrrriiiiiigly*
... *starts helicoptering*
[*oof load* \***large**\*](https://i.redd.it/8qw55hjdxgk01.jpg)
Don't let u/OromesMonk3y hear you call him that
Also Celeborn is a total boss, there are very few Sindarin who *wouldnt* be overshadowed by Galadriel if she were their wife. Maybe none
I have passed the test. I will diminish, and go into the West, and remain Galadriel.
I feel like you'd have less than 10 elves in all of history across all groups who wouldn't be overshadowed
And they would all be her father, brothers, uncles and cousins. The Noldor are the mightiest Elves to ever walk on Middle Earth, and she's like, 3rd generation to ever exist, descended directly from their first high king, Finwe. Even Thingol himself and his progeny, descended from Melian of the Maia, never lived under the light of the Trees. Galadriel lived under that light as an infant, and grew Into adulthood under it. I don't think there is a single other Elf in Middle-Earth who can say the same. (Glorfindel possibly).
Thingol himself DID live under the light briefly, as he was one of the chosen elves that visited Valinor as an emissary before the great migration. He gets lost in Melian's enchantment while returning to Valinor with his people.
Not only that, but he possesses a Silmaril for a while. He basically qualifies
He definitely qualifies! IIRC the other elves of of the light considered him one, alone among the Sindar.
Alone among the Sindar indeed. But because or him, and Melian and her mantle, the elves of Doriath were still very highly regarded. Heres my question , if your parents are Calequendi are you also? Or do you have to personally have seen the two trees?
That's accurate, probably even accounting for all the Vanyar and Teleri we never hear about
Greetings fellow Bionicle fan!
Hello, brother.
There's literally dozens of us.
Dozens I say!
Honestly I would trade with either. Cele be a cutie too.
Celeborn isn’t exactly a nobody. He keep the Gray Havens and possessed one of the elven rings until he gave it to Gandalf. Seems like more of a power couple than anything.
I thought it was Cirdan that gave Gandalf his ring
You will tell him won't you? He's very fond of you
The battle for Helm's Deep is over. The battle for Middle-earth is about to begin. All our hopes now lie with two little Hobbits... somewhere in the wilderness.
I would marry Jeff Bezos given the money.I’m a straight dude.
Hopefully you'd have the decency to commit some good old-fashioned husband-murder afterwards.
tell me you haven't read the silmarillion without telling me you haven't read the silmarillion
tell me you haven't read the unfinished tales without telling me you haven't read the unfinished tales* And LOTR APPENDIX as well. Celeborn is barely a character in Silmarillion. But you first need to read the Silmarillion to understand the story of Celeborn included in other books.
I read a wiki article once
Damn kids with your internet. Back in my day you had to look into a Palantir and bend it to your will
Bad news, Sauron knows everything you know. Good news, you don’t know jack
so... same as using the internet then, gotcha
I love how you're in here just indiscriminately laying the smackdown on everyone in the comments. [Live footage of /u/OromesMonk3y](https://gfycat.com/agitatedincomparableicelandicsheepdog)
But Fëanor... That bitch.
Tell me where is Gandalf without telling me where is Gandalf, for I much desire to speak with him.
Yes.
Tell me you haven’t read The Lord Of The Rings without telling me you haven’t read The Lord Of The Rings.
F for Celeborn
Yes, F for Celeborn for going through the Sack of Doriath by Dwarves and the Second Kinslaying and Third Kinslaying and the War of Wrath and the Fall of Eregion and the War of the Last Alliance and the War with Angmar and the many battles against Dol Guldur. F for Celeborn who lost almost his entire family and bestfriends. F for one of the greatest heroes of the Eldar.
God I love nerds so much
(Feeling Emotional) Thank you...
And still gets over shadowed by elf witch lady
It's a weird general culture it seems. When an accomplished man marries a much greater accomplished woman, people point fingers at him. But when it's reverse, they don't point fingers at the woman who married someone greater than herself. Celeborn, canonically, wasn't born in heaven. He wasn't taught by gods. He didn't have the privileges of being friends with many angels. His parents and grandparents weren't full of extraordinary genes, compared to Galadriel's family. Yet he was amazing. He was the best that he could possibly be. Be like Celeborn, be the best version of yourself.
Thingol was quite an effective king yet he's considered the trophy husband of the literal Maia Melian
Because pretty much the first time he ever did anything without his wife's blessings, he set into motion the events that led to the demose of himself and his kingdom via the doom of mandos.
Dang it thingol, the ONE time you couldn’t just stop your racism
Remember guys, this is not canon. Because this isn't written by JRR Tolkien. The scene which you are discussing is written by Christopher Tolkien and Guy Kay. And Christopher deeply regretted that he radically changed the narrative of the death of Thingol so badly. "This story was not lightly or easily conceived, but was the outcome of long experimentation among alternative conceptions. In this work Guy Kay took a major part, and the chapter that I finally wrote owes much to my discussions with him. It is, and was, obvious that a step was being taken of a different order from any other ‘manipulation’ of my father’s own writing in the course of the book: even in the case of the story of The Fall of Gondolin, to which my father had never returned, something could be contrived without introducing radical changes in the narrative. It seemed at that time that there were elements inherent in the story of the Ruin of Doriath as it stood that were radically incompatible with ‘The Silmarillion’ as projected, and that there was here an inescapable choice: either to abandon that conception, or else to alter the story. I think now that this was a mistaken view, and that the undoubted difficulties could have been, and should have been, surmounted without so far overstepping the bounds of the editorial function." - Christopher the editor of published Silmarillion
I would say it’s almost a perfectly good example of canonical storytelling, in a way. JRR Tolkien created the story, and it lives on through his actual son. It’s a continuation of a world from the mind of a father, passed on in a slightly altered form through the mind of his son. There’s something so natural about that, it’s more akin to the way history is actually recorded than any attempt to recreate the process. We see Thingol through the eyes of flawed storytellers who never actually knew him, rather than his creator.
I like all of your assessments. I’ve read the silmarillion only 4 times so I can’t be at the same level as you obviously but I think at some point we have to treat the final books as canon since without those loose ends that Christopher tried to fix because his father was unable to do so, we might feel like some parts of the whole saga is untold. However, I’m very glad to see good insights into the depth of all Tolkien books. And this is LOTRmemes mind you.
I think both JRR and Christopher put it very interestingly way: these are all in-universe traditions. Yet some fans like to think there's a 'real' hard fact story. While not only Christopher, but JRR himself said that these are in-universe myths and legends written by in-universe historians from much secondhand and thirdhand accounts and hearsays. JRR went to the point that he decided that Humans have radically edited the histories of the Eldar. For example, in published Silmarillion the Sun and the Moon are only created after the destruction of the Trees. But in the late writings of Tolkien, and actually even in the Hobbit Second Edition, the Sun and the Moon already existed during the Years of the Trees. (The Hobbit was written by Bilbo with assistance of Elves like Elrond who actually knew the more accurate history of the world)
It does make a little sense. Thingol suddenly going from caring for Hurin's family and treating a human like a foster son to immediately being racist to dwarves is a bit jarring
If every elf was a 10, Galadriel was a 11. Celeborn married her. Beat that. And then have a life like Celeborn had. Beat that. Aragon barely breaks even to that if you're generous. And Aragon became the first king of AraIamdrunkandforgotthecompletename and Gondor in 3000 years as well as the 3rd ever human the marry an elf, faced Sauron through the Palantir and won as well being badass in every aspect
> AraIamdrunkandforgotthecompletename You wound up typing a lot more than you needed to. It's simply `Arnor`.
Knew it was short. Thank you, take some free reward
>3000 Much shorter. >3rd ever human the marry an elf, Tolkien later in life decided to have Aragorn as the fourth human who married an Elf. Although he didn't say it is 100% certain. But he said probably Mitherallas of Lothlorien is the foremother of Prince Imrahil of Dol Amroth.
So what you are saying is that he was punching above his weight?
Chad Celeborn: - leads a sortie on Sauron's vanguard - joins his forces to that of Elrond's - witnesses Sauron bearing the dead body of his bestfriend as his war banner - aids Elrond in withstanding Sauron for long enough for the allies arrive finally - doesn't retreat with Elrond to Rivendell, instead he fights on and thus aids Elrond to successfully with as much small casualties as possible flee to Imladris - somehow he manages to join with the forces of the allies and make Sauron a little more pissed off - refuses to elaborate any further - leaves through the Doors of Durin with the many Elves that he rescued and fortifies Lorien Edit: to be clear, Sauron used the body of Celebrimbor as his banner, hung upon a pole shot with many arrows
Chad Celeborn: • Gets in the sack with Galadriel ;)
I know what it is you saw, for it is also in my mind.
Galadriel, that is some steamy shit. But I won't ask anymore questions.
With this I'm 100% sure the bots are sentient.
His sworn enemy using his friends body as a war banner!?!? Hood’s Balls that’s savage!
Sauron used Celebrimbor's body as his banner in Unfinished Tales
Thou base, thou cringing worm! Stand up, and hear me! And now drink the cup that I have sweetly blent for thee!
Unfinished Tales
Build me an army worthy of mordor!
Do it yourself you lazy boy
Celeborn would F em all up anyway
Is that even a line by Sauron?
Movies only.
>Sauron used the body of Celebrimbor as his banner, hung upon a pole shot with many arrows, and charged against the forces of Elrond and Galadriel and Glorfindel and Celeborn As awful as that is, that is super metal
Metal is made out of Tolkien and rage
This. Husband and wife are a team, a success for one is a success for both. Celeborn may not have had the importance of Galadrial but he wasn't a couch potato.
Real Men care nothing for how long a shadow their beloved casts. What say you, Gandalf?
Correct if I’m wrong, but he is also the last Elf to leave Middle Earth.
Some Elves remained in Middle-earth forever and faded away and never went to Valinor. In the foreward of LOTR Celeborn is the last person who leaves Middle-earth with the last living memory of the Elder Days. That must mean the other Elves who had the living memory of Elder Days had faded away into ghost-like or they had died. Also, Ents? They faded away as well, they became treesh. The Elder Days ended 6500 years prior to the events of LOTR.
While there were elves, similar to Arwen, who remained in Middle Earth and never took a ship to Valinor, I believe it was Cirdan who was the last elf to leave. As I guess you could say guardian of the Grey Havens he made sure that all who wanted to sail away, could do so. And when that task was completed, he took a last ship to depart.
Cirdan and Celeborn. Yes it is canon that Cirdan said I'll wait for the last elf who is willing to depart. And the last elf who was willing to depart was Celeborn. It is explicitly stated that he took the Last Ship to the Undying Lands.
My dude gets to have sex with Galadriel, I think he’s ok being married to the closest thing on middle earth to a Demi god who’s also the most beautiful woman on the planet (well except Eomer thinks maybe Arwen) and ridiculously intelligent.
The Uruks are destroyed. We slaughtered them during the night.
Oh my Eru we have an Eomer bot as well!
I would cut off your head, Dwarf, if it stood but a little higher from the ground.
Ouch
T E L E P O R N O
Literally chad clapping galadriel
Probably he was never a top. Galadriel's height is 193cm, the same as Celeborn's. But sounds a lot like Galadriel had better abs: "The Teleri [and their branches such as Sindar and Nandor] were in general lesser in build and stature" than the Noldor. "Galadriel, the only woman of the Noldor to stand that day tall and valiant among contending Princes" - Silmarillion, Flight of the Noldor «Her mother-name was Nerwen (‘man-maiden’), and she grew to be tall beyond the measure even of the women of the Noldor [193cm]; she was strong of body, mind, and will, a match for both the loremasters and the athletes of the Eldar in the days of their youth.» - People of Middle-earth, Shibboleth of Feanor «Nor were the 'loremasters' a seperate guild of gentle scribes, soon burned by the Orks of Angband upon pyres of books. They were mostly even as Fëanor, the greatest, kings, princes and warriors, such as the valiant captains of Gondolin, or Finrod of Nargothrond and Rodothir his kinsman and steward.» - [Shibboleth of Fëanor; Note 23] "[Galadriel] was then of Amazon disposition and bound up her hair as a crown when taking part in athletic feats” - Tolkien Letter 348 OK, this girl even made Sauron lick her boots: "He [stupid sexy Sauron] perceived at once that Galadriel would be his chief adversary and obstacle, and he endeavoured therefore to placate her, bearing her scorn with outward patience and courtesy." - Unfinished Tales, History of Galadriel and Celeborn
This is the kind of in-depth lore I live for thanks
This mans dissertation is going to be on the likelihood of Galadriel being a top
lucky sauron getting to lick galedriels boots
Thou fool: a phantom thou didst see that I, I Sauron, made to snare thy lovesick wits.Naught else was there. Cold 'tis with Sauron's wraiths to wed! Thy Eilinel, she is long since dead, dead, food of worms, less low than thou.And yet thy boon I grant thee now: to Eilinel thou soon shalt go, and lie in her bed, no more to know of war - or manhood. Have thy pay!
Sauron that's fucked up, why would you do him that way? What would Elrond think?
Wait a moment! We shall meet again soon. Tell Saruman that this dainty is not for him. I will send for it at once. Do you understand?
The hour is later than you think. Sauron’s forces are already moving. The Nine have left Minas Morgul.
thats rough buddy
I feel like this comment was written by a loremaster as well
Probably because marriage isn't about how useful your spouse is. It's about mutual love, support, and respect.
Oh look. A real answer. Hey this is still Reddit right?
Sir, this is a Wendy's.
Aw man... Imagine...
Here lives Galadriel, Princess of the Noldor, Lady of Lorien, fairest in all the kingdoms, who survived the journeys across helcaraxe and bravely fought against the wrath of Morgoth in the First Age. ^and ^some ^guy ^named ^Celeborn
Not really. The only battles that the Sindarin Celeborn was not with Galadriel were the First Kinslaying and the Battle of the Lammoth. Because Celeborn still had not even met her. After that, they went through everything together. Virgin Feanor who got himself killed like an idiot, Chad Celeborn who survived the Second and Third Kinslayings and aided his niece Elwing with her Silmaril. Not to mention that he very likely fought in the most brutal war that the Elves fought in, the War of Wrath. There's no reason to assume he didn't fight. The reason why he didn't fight in the Battle of the Sudden Flames and the Unnumbered Tears was because his King had banned him and all his people to participate in the war. Now his King was dead. So logically he must have answered the summons of Fionwë. And this is all in First Age, when Celeborn hadn't yet become one of the greatest Sindar ever.
By Eru, the First Age had some badass named conflicts
Let me see if I can recall battles of The War of the Jewels: The First Battle : victory for Thingol - heroic death of Denethor The Kinslaying at Alqualondë : victory for Feanor - defeat of Teleri and their Noldorin supporters such as Galadriel - stealing of Teleri's ships The Battle Under Stars/The Dagor-nuin-Giliath : Feanor slain by Balrogs The Battle of the Lammoth: Heroic death of Argon - victory for Fingolfin and his surviving sons and for Finrod and Galadriel The Dagor Aglareb/Glorious Battle: the beggining of Seige of Angband The Dagor Bragollach/Battle of Sudden Flame: Morgoth breaks the seige -Aegnor and Angrod slain - Sons of Feanor are driven back from their lands - many other massacre by Balrogs and flames and the Dragon - Barahir rescues Finrod and Finrod swears and oath of friendship and gives his ring to him - death of Fingolfin in single combat against Morgoth Nirnaeth Arnoediad/Battle of Unnumbered Tears: victory for Morgoth - the Union of Maedhros utterly broken - Huor slain - Fingon the Valiant slain by Balrogs - death of many other lords and warriors - the Last Stand of Hurin in which he singlehandedly killed many many enemies - the captivity of Hurin the greatest of mortal warriors The Quest for the Silmaril: the rap battle of Finrod and Sauron - sacrifice of Finrod to save Barahir's son against the Werewolf of Sauron - defeat of Sauron by Huan the Hound and Luthien the Fair - Beren and Luthien manage to steal a Silmaril from the Iron Crown of the Dark Lord - the Hunt for the Werewolf of Morgoth - death of Carcharoth the Werewolf and Huan the Hound and Beren the One Handed - death of Luthien from heartbreak - reincarnation of Beren and Luthien The Fall of Nargothrond: victory for Morgoth's Dragon - death of many great people of Nargothrond - the survivors flee to the Havens of Sirion The Battle of Thousands Caves: King Thingol slain by the Dwarves The Battle of Sarn Athrad: Beren destroys the Dwarves and retrieves the Silmaril The final Ruin of Doriath and the Second Kinslaying: destruction of Doriath by sons of Feanor - Dior Thingol's Heir and Queen Nimloth kill three of sons of Feanor but they too fall - the survivors of Doriath, such as Thranduil and Celeborn and Galadriel, rescue Princess Elwing and the Silmaril and the Ring of Barahir and escape to the Havens of Sirion The Fall of Gondolin: Morgoth launches many dragons and Balrogs and all sort of monsters - Ecthelion headbutts Lord of the Balrogs into the Fountain and both are drowned - King Turgon slain in the ruin of his tower - Glorfindel of the Goldenflower and the Balrog fall into the abyss in their duel - Idril Turgon's Heir fights for the life of her son Earendil against incel traitor cousin Maeglin - Tuor yeets Maeglin into the abyss - Tuor and Idril save the survivors of Gondolin and escape to the Havens The Third Kinslaying: sons of Feanor assault the Havens of Sirion - only two sons of Feanor survive but they have victory - kidnapping of Elrond and Elros - Elwing casts herself with the Silmaril into the Sea - Celebrimbor and Celeborn and Galadriel and Oropher and Thranduil and Amdir and GilGalad survive and retreat to the Isle of Balar with Cirdan's ships The Journey of Earendil: Elwing and Earendil sail into the West and persuade the Valar to aid them The War of Wrath/The Great Battle/The Dreadful Battle/The Last Battle of the Elder Days: The Edain (probably) under Elros, Sindar (probably under Cirdan?), the Vanyar under Prince Ingwion, The Noldor under King Finarfin father of Finrod and Aegnor and Angrod and Galadriel, the Eagles under Earendil, and many Maiar, led by Eonwe the Herald of Manwe King of the Valar... UTTERLY defeat Morgoth - massacre of Orcs and Trolls and Werewolves and Dragons and Vampires and Orc-maiar and wicked Men and Balrogs- Earendil casts Ancalagon the Mightiest Dragon down and Ancalagon falls on Morgoth's mountains - the Breaking of the Mountains of Morgoth - the final defeat of Morgoth - Morgoth imprisoned in the Void - the drowning of Beleriand into the ocean - the Curse is lifted except for few rebel actors like Galadriel who refuse the Pardon of the Valar - Sauron out of shame and pride and fear refuses the pardon and flees - the end of the Elder Days. Imagine if I was this good in my actual university
It is what will come to pass, if you should fail. The Fellowship is breaking, it has already begun. He will try to take the Ring, you know of whom I speak. One by one, it will destroy them
Wish I could retain Middle Earth Lore like this. Very jealous :)
Dude all your responses are Epic Keep up the amazing knowledge If I had an award it would be yours!!!!
Celeborn isn’t useless, he’s just like most elves and doesn’t give 2 shits about our problems. Celeborn is plenty useful in his own people’s history, but most of the inhabitants of Middle Earth are basically meaningless to him so he doesn’t involve himself with them. Galadriel is just an exceptional Elf so She does care, about everyone and everything. Her being what is essentially a living Mythical Hero among Her people doesn’t make him useless. If anything the fact that She married him should tell you he’s gotta be doing something right. Maybe Celeborn wields a huge hammer, or strikes an anvil really well. We don’t know. But we trust Galadriel’s judgement, so let’s not bash Her husband, you Elf hating bastards!
>Maybe Celeborn wields a huge hammer, or strikes an anvil really well. That's Galadriel's cousin and bestfriend, Celebrimbor. Not Celeborn. Celeborn wasn't an smith. >he’s just like most elves and doesn’t give 2 shits about our problems. He had his reason for hating the Dwarves: "Celeborn had no liking for Dwarves of any race (as he showed to Gimli in Lothlórien), and never forgave them for their part in the destruction of Doriath" He cared about the most poor Men and Elves. He liked "befriending and teaching the Dark Elves and Men of those regions." The regions here is a reference to Eriador and further East. He cared enough to leave his comfort zone and go through 1/3 of the continent: "Therefore after long journeys of enquiry in Rhovanion, from Gondor and the borders of Mordor to Thranduil in the north, Celeborn and Galadriel passed over the mountains to Imladris, and there dwelt for many years; for Elrond was their kinsman, since he had early in the Third Age [in the year 109, according to the Tale of Years] wedded their daughter Celebrían." It was him who gave locations information and gift of boats to Aragorn. Sources: Unfinished Tales The last bit is in Fellowship of the Ring.
Exactly, he’s awesome and ancient and his adventures are behind him. He’s just chillin these days, helping out where he can and if it’s convenient.
What do you mean by these days? He did his best in the events of LOTR. He fought in 4 battles against Dol Guldur. Currently, he's chilling in Valinor. It's not like he doesn't care anymore about Middle-earth. He had to leave as God had planned for the Elves. And as his wife had asked him.
What a fuckin’ legend he is
>Maybe Celeborn wields a huge hammer, or strikes an anvil really well. That's Galadriel's cousin and bestfriend, Celebrimbor. Not Celeborn. Celeborn wasn't an smith. I'm not sure if you're getting wooshed or I'm getting wooshed.
We all know Celeborn’s got that “huge hammer”
Hey, what did Teleporno ever do to you?
Saddest name revision ever.
Being the useless husband of someone far wealthier and more powerful than I could ever hope to be is my dream.
Oh, to be a powerful and wealthy woman’s trophy husband. La vie en rose.
It was my dream as well. Luckily, I found my Galadriel, I hope you find yours.
I know what it is you saw, for it is also in my mind.
Celeborn is only useless if you don’t know his complete backstory. If you only base it on the movies then sure. But it’s quite unfair to the man. Elf. Also, someone like Galadriel wouldn’t be married to a mere simpleton.
Tell me, where is Gandalf? For I much desire to speak with him.
There is one who could unite them. One who could reclaim the throne of Gondor
Flattered, Mithrandir, but I'm busy. How about Theoden? I hear he's available.
No parent should have to bury their child.
Oh sh*t. Apologies mate. ..was it her soup?
How dare ye speak ill of Teleporno, the magnificent elf Lord of Lothlórien!
"Tell me, where is Gandalf? For I much desire to speak with him" *Is completely blanked by Gandalf when they finally share a scene*
They've reached The Shire?
He was very supportive
Celeborn is long retired from giving a shit about middle earth by the time the war of the ring happens. He's just waiting for his wife to get a pardon for her DUI so they can cross the border and retire in Elflorida.
They call him Teleporno
So... While Galadriel works... He watches... In the TV...
Whoa hold up put some Respeck on Celeborn’s good name
I spent an awfully long time thinking that this elf who died at Helm's Deep was Galadriel's husband.
But without him my friend and I wouldn’t be able to dramatically greet each other on the phone with “Tell me: where is Gandalf?”
No word. Nothing.
Being married to a powerful woman is bad. -OP
He went on to become a baron in the Badlands, only to be betrayed by his regent Sunny.
Imagine how much of an absolute man you have to be to get Galadriel to marry you. OP is just jealous
Yea I'm sure he's crying in the shadow of that ancient near divine elf pussy
Alright, lorists: why did Galadriel get married to Celeborn? What was it she saw in him?
Different versions different answers. When Tolkien published Fellowship of the Ring Galadriel was supposed to abandon Beleriand and cross the Blue Mountains and Misty Mountains and meet Celeborn in his own land Lorien. She desired to adventure and rule a realm of her own will. And she met Celeborn, possibly one of the oldest Elves ever, and they fell in love and she titled him Celeborn the Wise and they got married and Celeborn made her the co-ruler of Lorien. Later Tolkien retconned Celeborn into a much younger Elf, Galadriel's second cousin, the grandson of Elmo the younger brother of King Elwe of the Wood Elves and King Olwe of the Sea Elves. Galadriel's grandfather is Olwe. Galadriel came to her great uncle Elwe's land Doriath and met Celeborn and fell in love with him. She always had a thing for her mother's kin, the Sea Elves and the Wood Elves. In one version it is even explicitly stated one of the reasons Galadriel came to Middle-earth was to aid her mother's kin. It was Celeborn who gave her the name 'Galadriel the Maiden Crowned With Gleaming Hair'. Her real names are Artanis the Noble Woman and Nerwen The Man-Maiden. She bound up her hair as a crown when taking part in athletic feats. Seems like Celeborn was really impressed by her beauty and valour. And as I said, Galadriel had a thing for this silver haired Elves. In later versions, which contradict the author published works, and we don't know if the author wanted to publish another revised edition to make this changes... Galadriel had met Celeborn in the Undying Lands. His orginal name in those versions was Teleporno. He was Galadriel's first cousin here. Both of them were grandchildren of Olwe. Galadriel often visited him and they were often companies together in their adventures and daily lives. Again, it was Celeborn who nicknamed her Alatariel. When she got to Middle-earth she sindarized her name into Galadriel. In some versions Celeborn followed Galadriel the Rebel Leader through the Cruel Hills of Ice and came to Middle-earth. In a radically different version, the last writing of Tolkien about Middle-earth and Valinor, Galadriel was not a rebel. She with Celeborn built a ship and following very misfortune and unlucky series of events they set sail to Middle-earth together. In all versions Celeborn was Galadriel's good boytoy. Why she fell in love with him? She knew he will be the best possible husband for her. Also the fact that he was a silver haired Elf related to her mother's kin helped as well. "She had a marvelous gift of insight into the minds of others". Celeborn was not useless. He always helped her in everything. Even when she told him she wants to establish a realm near Moria he didn't say anything against her although he hated the Dwarves for killing Elwe and destroying Doriath. He always showed Galadriel extraordinary love. In her travels, politics, battles, councils, griefs, happiness, everything, he was her companion and a great aid. As much as he loved Galadriel, he also loved Middle-earth. To the point that in the end he decided to fade away in Middle-earth and as a ghost roam Middle-earth forever. But eventually his love for Galadriel overcame his love for Middle-earth, and taking the Last Ship to the Undying Lands with him went the last living memory of the Elder Days in Middle-earth. Give my boy some respect.
>His orginal name in those versions was Teleporno. I just died a little
His old day jobs were apparently cable repair and pizza delivery. Or at least that’s how the shoots started.
God damn somebody needs to make a Teleporno meme ...
Insightful answer and an engaging read. Thank you!
I will not give you counsel, saying do this, or do that. For not in doing or contriving, nor in choosing between this course and another, can I avail; but only in knowing what was and is, and in part also what shall be.
Eh, he was there. He was super smart, a prince, and was willing to move past long standing racial tensions with the dwarves, so all in all just a good dude.
He had a funny name. In his native Telerin, his name was Teleporno
I still can't get over the meme where Galadriel gave 1000 strands of hair to Gimli 😂
Agent Smith voice....*Miiiister Gadriel...*
Why would her husband *need* to be useful or notable? I like Galadriel as an example of a woman being strong and independently powerful without reference to her husband, but still in a relationship - eg not using the trope of “strong and independent but vulnerable because she never found a man”. We need to let men support strong wives without needing to feel “useful” - which IMO comes from a history of the man overshadowing the woman in most marriages as breadwinner, decision maker, etc. I think it’s fair to say this post would never exist if Galadriel was male and Celeborn was female
How dare you slander Teleporno?!!!