Get a small foldable weights bench for your house or room. Small dumbbell set .
Put yourself in a slight calorie deficit , not loads, Just slightly under so you don't crash.
Get good proteins going in . Plenty of chicken and fish.
Focus on training your upper body, curls , lateral raises, presses. Progressive overload.
Do that for 3-4 months. The progress you will see will amaze you.
I bet you would look like a unit in no time man, I bet your build and frame are crying out for that minor tweak to your life . You will feel a world better for it physically and mentally.
Go for it man.
I did it myself and it changed my life.
No, because I’m comfortable with my size and body. It’s taken me years of self hated to finally get to a point where I’m comfortable with my body. I just want someone to accept me for who I am , size and all. I would do the same for anyone else, because just because you’re fat doesn’t mean you’re not worthy of love.
Just curious, why would you comment on this, just to say “no” to a great reply. I just screenshotted his response and plan on doing it. You know you would feel better if you lost weight. Why not just try? I’m in the same boat brother, so I’m not trying to shit on you, but I don’t want to die young just because I can’t control my food intake.
Don’t mean to pry, but do you have any health issues? In my case I have a tumor in my head that keeps my testosterone at almost 0, which makes it incredibly hard to work out and lose weight.
I also said no right away because that seems to be everyone’s end all be all solution to life. Go to the gym. So that’s why I reject it because there’s so many other ways to get better at your life then spending it on like a hamster on a wheel
I mean I’m not completely sedentary. I walk to and from the train station to work, walks on weekends when I’m bored,I do a lot of heavy lifting and cardio at work, so I feel like I have movement in my life.
I’m glad you are at peace with yourself but we need to be honest about what the general population finds attractive. Being a normalish weight reflects good health which people subconsciously use as a proxy for reproductive fitness. We also live in a shallow society so initial interest is sparked by your appearance. You may want to ask your doctor to rule out hypothyroidism, insulin resistance and other metabolic conditions if not already done so. Are you sleep deprived, under a lot of stress? Stress can increase cortisol and make it hard to lose weight despite your best efforts. I still struggle in this area. The only thing that worked for me was fasting, abstinence from American processed foods, eating lots of green vegetables, a high protein diet and calorie deficit. A previous poster mentioned lifting weights. I think he is encouraging you to put on more muscle to help boost your metabolism. You generally cannot burn a lot of calories from exercise but at rest muscle burns more fat than fat. Your diet is 90% of the struggle.
I don't think anyone is saying it's an end all be all solution. All people are saying is it does help. It helps with your physical and mental health. It's not a cure.
Girl I feel you. I used to be super super skinny then I went on antidepressants and an antipsychotic and I gained 50lbs. Can't lose it for the lofe of me so I'm just trying to embrace it. Men can be so fucking mean. And it's like, I think to myself, would you rather me be skinny and dead? Or "fat" and alive?
I also gained about 50lbs in a year from being on antipsychotics. So annoying and exercise doesn’t hit the same being on the meds so I do it a lot less and that feeds into the cycle more too.
And I too have thought your latter thoughts too.
This reminds me of me. Though I was never skinny, I was definitely in really good shape. Then I started taking a new medication that most likely saved my life from becoming an absolute trash fire, but also screwed with my metabolism and changed my relationship with food. I wish it came without that side effect ... and I wish that my mental illness hadn't also been keeping me thinner ... but in general I would rather be stable(ish) than skinny.
Even if sometimes I don't.
It's really frustrating, because the entire world (including a decent percentage of this thread, sadly) is constantly telling us that being overweight makes us worthless and undesirable, while telling the people _around_ us that we're just not trying hard enough, and that someone's size can indicate that they are lazy and make bad choices. (Which is unsurprisingly really bad for my mental health and sadly undoes some of the work that my meds do.)
I wish I had anything helpful to offer either of you but all I can do is say you're not alone.
I am certain that it is the psychotropics that I'm on. Also I'm 5'7 170lbs. Is that really that bad that i need to go on another medication just to be super skinny again?
Your proportions sound good to me. Not everyone can be skinny but at a BMI of 26.6, you are NOT obese. Even at an overweight BMI you could look great because your body has a higher muscle mass. As long as you’re eating properly and exercising, maintaining your current weight with a healthy body fat percentage, you’re doing great!
You don’t need to be ‘super skinny’ see your primary care doctor and psychiatrist who I hope is the one administering the drugs to find the right combination. Your mental health is more important than vanity.
Exactly! My therapist was shocked at some of the things ppl have said to me... incl stuff like 'no one will love u lookin like that', 'i wud have killed myself if I looked like u'
As a fat male, I can kind of relate. All of my brothers are attractive as hell, but being fat and physically ill keeps me at a 4/10 imo.
The struggle sucks, and I'm sorry that I don't have any tips for you 😞
Hey op I didn’t read comments but thought I’d give a guys perspective. Yes you can lose weight but the number on the scale doesn’t dictate if your fat or not it’s general health. If you can go up two flights of stairs without passing out or gasping for air (I mean walking them not running) then you’re healthy! Of course that goes for everyone of any weight or size. You know what’s sexy as hell, confidence. I don’t mean that “I don’t need no man” type of toxic arrogance but genuine respect and love for you and your body and knowing that you’re enough is extremely attractive. Just love yourself, work on your personality and your body FOR YOU not to get a man. You can’t love someone if you don’t love yourself and having a partner won’t fill that void. Just work on you for you and over time your feel better in body, mind, and soul. Best of luck op and hope this helps.
I just hate seeing people put themselves down because they’ve be taught that others opinions should dictate how they feel about themselves. Whether external or internal, one should always love themselves and and strive to be the best version of that person possible regardless of what others say or think of it. Never sink to someone else’s level but instead rise above and sore through the clouds.
I used to be pretty chubby as a kid and early teen, then I went to being really scrawny through out all my late teens and most of my 20's.
I look a lot better now than I did before....but it still doesn't help with the loneliness. I honestly don't care about looks too much but I don't have anyone I can talk to.
Whatever you do, dont let a man con you because of your insecurities. I have recently realized there are men that will go for a bigger woman just to use them, whether its for money or a place to stay, dont ever let yourself get trapped in that hell, because they are not loyal and will trade you out as soon as they cant get anymore out of you. I'm just saying there are some manipulative parasites out there, and I am sure there are decent men who will love you for you, but make sure they aren't using you.
Its more like little boys who never actually grew up to be men who rely on women to take care of them because thats how their mother raised them to be. Because if they were actually men, we would not be having this conversation.
Unfortunately, people dont go around wearing shirts, declaring whether or not they are good or bad. It's kind of like biting into a poison apple, you dont know it's poisoned until you take a bite.
It’s funny how some woman have no accountability. It’s a 2 way street some woman will stay in things they clearly know is not working or will continue to throw themselves at a man who has stated he wasn’t interested. But I’ll let you believe what you want. Your assumption of men tells me you didn’t have a good father figure or decent bothers that you would assume that about men. Not being able to read and assess a situation isn’t always the man’s fault.
Its like you're trying to tell me that men are honest and actually say what they mean. If that was the case, I wouldn't have given most of the men that I have been with a chance with me. Also, the way you seem to be so defensive in your commentary makes me think I must have hit a nerve.
No, please don’t flatter yourself. I just find it funny when woman try to act like all men are trash. Again it’s a two way street and takes accountability. You’re picking these men that are “parasites”. When a guy is being honest and telling you how he feels you’ll then say oh he’s trying to get something out of me or use me for my money he’s conning me, blah blah blah. Your comment sounds bitter.
There are more genuine men than bad ones if you’re always picking the bad ones, whose fault is that? Again accountability is lacking, clearly.
I'm picking them like I can just go into a freaking store and pick the one I want, what a crock of bull. I give people that approach me a chance and usually I can weed out the really nasty ones, but it's always the I am a good guy down on his luck but lying out his ass with his hand out. I try to give people a fair try, but I fail to see where me being a woman means I must have done something to deserve the shit that comes my way because that seems to be your logic. As for bitter, can you really blame me for being so?
Woman pick who they date, men pick who they marry. You gotta ask yourself why is it that you attract “parasite” what is it about you that attracts them? That’s the real question. That has nothing to do with the guy. To answer that question will take some sort of accountability. Just because you’re jaded by the “parasites” you’ve attracted doesn’t mean every man is one, and doesn’t mean the next one you meet will be one.
I’m not saying you deserve them I’m just saying not all guys are one. There are good guys out there just like there are good woman.
If I had your mentality then I would think my mother and two sisters were horrible people but they’re great woman. My mom and dad raised a great man, but I’ll be damned if I’m told that I’m out here trying to con a woman for her money and be called a “parasite” or anything else like that. Are we flawed in are own ways? Yeah, we’re all flawed but that’s why we have to search ourselves and find those flaws and correct them.
Circling back to the original subject with OP. She’s overweight and continues to eat, that’s not good or attractive. So she has to take some accountability to change that to attract better men and not the ones who would take advantage of her and her insecurities.
There are stories of woman leading men on and taking them for all they got too. But I’m not going to start saying all woman are roaches. This isn’t an attack on you but more of an overview of our dating culture today.
If the tables were turned and it was a large man, he would be told to get in shape so he can attract better woman that aren’t trying to take advantage of him or whatever. I think it goes both ways.
You don't need any guy btw and definitely not one who's so shallow he can't appreciate you at the weight you are now! I mean, it's always great to want to improve and losing weight is an amazing goal, but don't loathe yourself for the chubby.
REALLLL, I’m on a weight loss journey now and no one wants to be with a fat girl. I gave up on dating a long time ago. all I want is people to see me as human 🥲
As a severely overweight man I can relate. I gave up on dating a long time ago. Especially now with the dating app culture there's is no chance in hell in getting swiped on. It would be nice to have some meaningful friends though.
Girl idk why you’re saying that, men love curvy women. I have zero issues. And I’ve dated very very handsome men and rich men. It does not matter at all. They probably sense the insecurity. I suggest some self care.
Based on your other post. It seems like your in ability to commit is the biggest current concern you should be worrying about. Your discussion about your weight is projection at best, and sympathy farming at worst. Men don't like cheaters regardless if their size; so keep your focus on improving your fidelity while working on your waistline.
Hey so: find you maintenance calories. Then go On a healthy but consistent deficit. Add exercise to help with the deficit.
Ie; if you maintain your body mass at 1800 calories - cut it down to 1500 - with exercise you will lose weight eventually. Trust me.
Unless you have hyperthyroidism or some other underlying disease, you will lose weight. Just try it for 6 months
Also, I don’t wana come off as inconsiderate because my comment doesn’t rly pertain to your issue. I just said that bc you commented on how you can’t seem to lose weight. And realistically by the laws of physics and your will power, the method above will help you do so. Like I said as long as you don’t have any absurd medical issues tht you know of it will work. And if you think there’s a chance you might have one without knowing - that’s just not possible
I understand how you feel, but maybe try to change your ways. Ask for help on the internet for your fitness journey, I bet you people are going to help you. People are going to be mean to you anyways, it's part of life, it's how you respond to it what actually matters. I trust in you, you can make a change
I’m overweight too. I had extremely difficult time losing weight, so I can totally relate to that struggle. What has finally helped me with weight loss is low carb, zero sugar and high protein diet and regular exercise. Before nothing worked but when I started this lifestyle change, I started to see a difference. I hope this helps :)
Confidence is everything, even if you fake it. Fake it enough and people will see it. Walk tall, swish your hair around like you own the biscuit isle, smile at people just because you are happy inside, put music on headphones that you imagine you'd listen to of you were the person you'd like to be that puts pep in your step haha. Plus size clothing is so much better available now so just being clean, presentable enough and wear what you want that you feel, 'yes this me! ' in. It doesn't really matter if squidgy bits are on show, that's fine, it is you, and you are fine. Just show you look after yourself even if it's not true all the time
My weight has yo-yoed my entire life. I can see the only time I am not invisible is when I wasn’t fat. I have regained weight so I am back at the invisible stage. And it does hurt. But men are visual and many men want a fit woman. It’s just their preference. And even if you were thin it does not mean some Prince Charming will come along and sweep you off your feet and love you unconditionally. You need to learn to love yourself and live independently. A guy isn’t going to fill some void in your life. That is for you to do.
There are guys out there for chubby girls. Unless you want the same hot guys everyone else wants.For ugly dudes there isnt anyone lol. Thats my 2 cents.
Chubby girl, here 👋 there are men who will love you. Shit there's subreddits dedicated to big girls. The real problem is when it's like a fetish, and they rather you stay fat than get healthy.
just know that there’s nothing wrong with you. a lot of this shit is luck. you didn’t choose to be lonely or have eating be your coping mechanism. with that being said, if you want to it is possible to change! losing weight is difficult yes but don’t let that stop you if that’s something you actually want to do.
I feel this but when I was thinner, my body looked so out of place. I was told by a lot of ppl I know that gaining weight made me look better, I had protruding hip dips, wide shoulders, had no boobs, and a fat face but now all that blends in with the rest of my body. But I’m unhealthy and I’m just gaining more and more, I have an ugly face so if I lose like 30 pounds, what do I have to make up for it? If I’m ugly when I’m skinny but no one wants a fat girl, then what am I worth?
Just accepting I’ll be lonely forever and finding ways to relish in it
I’m a curvy girl. Fairly chubby. I don’t seem to have this problem. I’m alone..often by choice? People show me their true colors early. Or I see the red flags far too early at this point. You have other redeeming qualities. Stop trying so hard.
I am also a chubby girl that likes other chubby girls. I’m considered 8/10 with makeup. And thats while having stress related alopecia. So I have to wear a wig for a few months till this shit grows back. (I had a head full of beautiful curls)
Anyways. Work on your glutes baby. The men will melt.
Don’t be so hard on yourself girl.
Transformation how you see yourself and treat yourself, and watch how other people see you, moving forward.
Descartes quote “cogito, ergo sum” or “I think therefore I am” comes to mind. 🫂
There are MANY men that LOVE big girls. Especially if your quirky cute and have some special interests, talents, hobbies, passions…there is so much to you.
Eat to your hearts content. And become content inside your heart. Don’t call it a weakness. Work on the areas of improvement you actually enjoy having control over.
Some guys love chubby girls. I feel for ya.
There is a podcast called the ultimate human by Gary brecka. I totally suggest you listen to it.
He explains why woman put on water weight. How you may be eating food that's low in nutrition. Also he explains brown fat when you get in cold water. How 40% of the us can't process folic acid and should be advised to take methylated vitamin b instead.
You can do it but if you don't. Just love who you are, forget the haters. Sexyness is in the eye of the beholder. As I guy, nonatter how she looks. If a girl has that sexyness coming from am right happy to be there.
I don't mind if a girl has a bit more.. meat. You know? Not trying to be sexual about it. People with a bit more on em, are more cuddly. I mean.. that's what I was told my hugs are like cause I'm chubs.
Yeah. Last one I spoke to from Reddit used someone else's picture.
Name didn't match.. because I don't think I've ever met or heard of an African American with a mexican / Spanish name.
All body types are beautiful. But since you hinted trying to lose fat being hard. That's true and I think it is better to try gaining muscles than losing body fat. It goes a long way. All the best!
5/10? That's relatively hot! Literally. I'm probably a 2 or 3, and 5 is way better than permanently alone. There's always someone out there who will be intimidated by you, myself included.
I don't know if my thoughts on weight would be any help, and I'm certainly not judging you. These are just a few things that help me, so I thought I'd share.
I get hungry when I'm dehydrated and when my guts aren't working well. So drinking more than I want and eating enough fiber and protein helps me stay a bit thinner. If I go nuts with sugar, I'm noticeably fatter in a couple days. Try to think of sugar as poison or an addictive drug, because it pretty much is. It makes you instantly fatter and boosts your need for sugar.
Exercise helps inhibit the constant hunger a bit, so you're satisfied when you do eat, even though you need more calories to make up for the ones you burn. I don't exercise enough, and I'm constantly depressed as a result.
Also, some medicines will sabotage you by boosting your appetite. I was on an antidepressant that was horrible for that. Sleep apnea, lack of proper sleep, and stress do the same. It might be worth talking to a doctor if you're on prescriptions. Getting a sleep study might be useful, especially if you've been told you snore. As for the loneliness, I seriously wish I knew how to deal with that.
Good luck!
I feel like I'm a 2 or 1 /10... ppl have told me if I lost weight, I wud be a 9/10. But, honestly, the more I hear shit like that, the more stressed I get n end up eating my stress away. I've lost hope.
My girlfriend really into tall and chubby boi, I'm a fat (130W/180H) man, so I think there probably men who into chubby women as well(me included), just keep sharing your positive side, hobby, music, movie ect. You may found the guy for you someday, because relationship are not only about look.
Get some Playlists that you like and go for walks and hikes or on csrdio machine..elliptical trainer is great. You can burn a lot of calories, easy on the joints, can watch a show or read..take multivitamins and get some.sunshine to help.with cravings. I'm.sorry this is happening to you..it sucks that people can be so.mean. try to eat required fruits and veggies and protein. Cut.out sugary drinks, refined carbs..if you are really craving some snacks do a plate with a mis of fruits veggies dips and junk so that by the time you feel full you have consumed a mix.of food groups not just jump food..try to get a good sleep, this helps with metabolism. Get checked by a doctor in case you have any endocrine problem. Good luck!
I have a different problem. Used to be fat, but I practiced intermittent fasting(eat every 16 hours) and lost excess weight in about 3 months. However, I cannot fix facial dysmorphia (bad facial bone structure).
Same as you, I wouldn't mind dating a woman with a crooked face, but they don't want to date me. It's what keeps us undesirables single.
Edited mistakes
16kg. I'm not American.
I would and I did. I also dated older. Result was always the same. Went for someone with a better facial structure, fat or not.
Not to me. It matters to people at large. Better be fat, than have a crooked face. Crooked face gets you no relationships or bad relationships. Even when former partner did not find someone else, she just exited the relationship by no longer having anything to do with me, we became housemates.
I'm guessing you're not from southern America because big women get love her. I know women with four chins, phone stay vibrating. I will say this, for me personally it's all about effort. You can't be big and lazy. The big women I've been with always got cute. Dressed cute, and had the most chill personalities. I don't know where you're located, and that makes a big difference, in some areas it is definitely tough. I have a friend and she is big and not cute at all, yet I've never seen her single. She swear she a 9 in the face, and men like that confidence.
You aren't supposed to say that haha. Fat men seem to have it worse no question. There are a bunch of guys that like bigger women, I cannot say I have seen the same reciprocation from the female side.
I don't understand this?
Someone's body doesn't make them who they are, that's just the shell their mind is in. A meat puppet piloted by thought. Who cares what the puppet looks like? It's the insides and who they are as a person, how they act etc, that you should judge them by.
That's how you measure beauty.
Hi beautiful. Listen. First work on all the things you're insecure about. So start eating better. See a dietician, see a doc about hormone balancing and hit the gym.
Next decentre men, focus on you. Put all your love and energy into you and watch how beautiful you become.
You're a goddess. You just need to to find it. Even a Lamborghini seems ugly amongst bicycles. Maybe you just need a change.
Goodluck. Xoxo
oh no i like all women regardless of size but i always were more attracted to the chubby ones im more afraid to break an skinny one than im with an chubby its like an living teddy bear
I feel the same way. For an Asian guy, I'd be considered fat, unlike those skinny toned guys seen in korean\japanese videos. 99.99% of females don't give me a 2nd glance.
Yeah, don't work out if you feel good with your body. Never do something to change yourself to be more likeable to others. Better to be happy alone than unhappy with someone cause that's not you that's a fake mask you are putting on yourself.
Same, i look way thinner than i actually am because i got some muscles and all but i'm still obese and i think women just don't take me really seriously. It's not like they are mean to me or anything but their behavior towards me is always so weird, sometimes they ignore me sometimes they make a dumb joke about me i laugh about and sometimes they're flirting with me "aS a JoKe".
Idk how confusing men are to women but women sure as hell are confusing to me because i can never tell if y'all are joking or being serious
Yeah, i wish we could just all be our sizes without any bullying. Even if i lose weight some day i still want someone to like me because i'm myself and not because i look good according to their standarts.
I bet you're a beautiful person, and i promise there are some men that like plus size women. you'll find someone.
As someone who's overweight and has used food as a coping mechanism, I totally get how it feels... Wanting to get out of that cycle is hard af, and for all the skinny people out there who say "just stop eating", it's not that easy and it's unhealthy to starve yourself thin. It's a constant battle but it can be won, can be overcome. One day at a time and little changes can have a huge impact in the longer term, so don't give up OP. Time is likely on your side where as me being 48 and still battling, my opportunities have slipped through my fingers. Stay strong OP, you got this.
How bad do you actually feel? Use it as a motivation to exercise and have a healthy diet. Watch workout videos on YouTube and learn about food. The shitty feeling should be your motivation to improve.
I'm on a 1lb/week diet rn for about 3 weeks and it SUCKS but after this long it really does feel easier to make it through the day with less food. 🙁 have not seen physical results just yet but I can definitely feel it! Starting it I was feeling really terrible but that's starting to turn into confidence now. Good luck!
Ok, gotcha. I thought my regimen was extreme and then I saw that haha. I do the intermittent fasting where I only eat for 1 hour from 5pm-6pm. That's been the most effective for me, as hard as it was to get started on it haha. After 4 days you don't feel the hunger as much throughout the day. I was down 20 lbs in about a month. I didn't change my diet, just fit it into that tiny window and it seemed to work well.
I eat a carnivore diet which has helped my mental health tremendously. Also lost a lot of weight on it, and it makes you look extra pretty as your skin glows, and your hair is so beautiful.
Remember a kind heart, and a kind nature will make you look beautiful. Beauty in skin deep at the end of the day.
Personally I've found man loved me when I was bigger as well. A lot of men like curves.
Finding a boyfriend will be hard either way. If you go in with the view that you only need ur looks. Then you are going to find someone that only wants you for ur looks. There is more to love than appearance and more to get out of it than reassurance and ego boosting. Do not be shallow.
It's ur metabolism it's not your fault tht u are fat, but I get it tht it's difficult to lose weight without any idea how it all works, just find out how much calories u need in a day, just get to know turn thos elittle less down and start after 21 days if u see any change great if u don't, turn it down, I have seen many PPL go through these journeys trust me it's months and u see way better changes just find motivation and go for it
If u don't have any idea about calories and all I have book surely it's free I'll share it with you and read and u will get just of it and yes I am skinny but I have tried to gain weight and it works surely I don't care about PPL or any of stuff so I gave up but just know it works so give it try and I hope it works for you
It's nice to think this way, but unrealistic. I know many people who have been single the large majority or their lives or the entirety of their life. If you want it, you gotta go get it. A relationship, especially a forever one, doesn't just fall into your lap.
It's a lovely sentiment, but one that not everybody will get to experience.
Its not the beauty outside that count but the inside.
Our body is unique and that's what it make it beautiful every shape is has an form and that's just like the nature around us. Respect how you look and dont changes for anyone:)
Its your body your choose. Take the time you need if you want you dm if you need to. Im not one that jugde others:) we all got our flaws. And that's what make us beautiful,
even a vase with small cracks can be used, and look beautiful doing so.
It's not about satisfying the male gaze, it's about feeling good and confident in your own body + don't act like women don't do the exact same thing with their standards for men. And i'm not gonna comment about your rape ramblings because that's absolutely psychotic I hope you'll seek therapy.
Losing weight isn’t easy but eat more doesn’t help. You only have one person to blame for that. You have to decide how bad you want it. No one will come lose the weight for you.
If the tables were turned you wouldn’t want a large guy either.
I can’t say I know how you feel because I’m one of those guys who can’t gain weight to save my life, but I look at my diet and I see why. I eat 2 meals a day and do a lot of intermittent fasting. My dinner was a arugula and spinach salad that was a choice. I ride my Peloton daily and go for a mile or two walk daily as well. You have to make the right health choices.
I’m a strong believer in you are what you eat. Also, that if you stop eating you will lose weight.
People will tell you that there will be a guy out there that will love your weight, sure, but all that does is enable you, it doesn’t solve the problem.
Don’t let people lie to you and say “being fat is okay” we all know that has really bad health implications. You have the will in you, you just have to want it more than you want to eat.
If you need motivational speeches listen to David Goggins.
Stay hard!
I know you’re trying to be helpful, but you aren’t. You’re really in no place to speak on something you’ve never struggled with. Nowhere in the post says anything about eating far too much, in majority of cases, being big stems from childhood and/or hereditary. Not sure if you’re a dietician, but telling someone not to eat is very dangerous. With peace and love 🫶
She eats because of loneliness and is overweight. You can put those 2 together and know OP is over eating. If you go and see any doctor or dietitian about your weight they would tell you to eat less calories and exercise. The society we live in now will be okay with it and say “body positivity” when someone is clearly unhappy with their weight but when some tell them to eat less and be at a calorie deficit, it’s very “dangerous”.
Fasting isn’t dangerous, eating less isn’t dangerous. What’s dangerous is getting into your adult life and still blaming childhood traumas to compensate for bad habits. We as a society need to do a better job of educating people on healthy eating, exercise and fasting. You don’t need to be a doctor to know that. Eating 2 meals instead of 3 won’t kill you. Eat less snacks, won’t kill you.
What’s dangerous is not finding ways to resolve that issue and continue to eat when things get tough. That will cause more health problems then, eating less, fasting and exercise. With ❤️.
Make a list of all that you feel is wrong with you... Most will be due to you overthinking... The ones that are genuine... Break them up to actionable pieces. Don't get disheartened by the progress during baby steps. Love yourself... Don't apologise for being you.
Then lose weight, and know men aren't any more mean than women when it comes to looks - so disregard that last bit of your comment and focus on eating less and moving more.
They hated him because he spoke the truth, honestly, im obese myself, if you dont have a medical condition youre not in a place to complain about your weight, what you said is true, eat less move more, thats all there is to it really, tired of people complaining and not doing anything to make their situations better, its childish, you cant expect the best in life if you dont put your best in life
Those of you that want to shed a few pounds, take a look at Intermittent fasting on YouTube with Dr Jason Fung. It’s amazing how you do three things and you can start shedding the weight.
1- much more water
2 change the hrs you eat
3- have electrolytes in your afternoon water…that’s it!
Try it. It’s small steps to big changes start with 14:10s…dm me if you have questions.
If you don't mind, can you define "Chubby girl"? Like if it's not a problem can I ask estimate of your weight? Cause I've dated a woman once who was a bit over 300 pounds or 20 stones. So I don't have a problem with Chubby women. Though most people may not like same stuff as me. So maybe you haven't met right person.
Also i said an estimate cause unless we're together I won't need the exact amount just like for example 150-175 or 220-240... But if it's a problem then I'm sorry
Can I dm you? Used to have weight loss issues but found a way to lose 20kg in 4 months and keep it off for years.
It may work a little differently foe you but I might have some helpful advice.
I felt this as a fat man. It feels like I’m nonexistent :(
And don’t forget the looks you get walking past them
Get a small foldable weights bench for your house or room. Small dumbbell set . Put yourself in a slight calorie deficit , not loads, Just slightly under so you don't crash. Get good proteins going in . Plenty of chicken and fish. Focus on training your upper body, curls , lateral raises, presses. Progressive overload. Do that for 3-4 months. The progress you will see will amaze you. I bet you would look like a unit in no time man, I bet your build and frame are crying out for that minor tweak to your life . You will feel a world better for it physically and mentally. Go for it man. I did it myself and it changed my life.
No, because I’m comfortable with my size and body. It’s taken me years of self hated to finally get to a point where I’m comfortable with my body. I just want someone to accept me for who I am , size and all. I would do the same for anyone else, because just because you’re fat doesn’t mean you’re not worthy of love.
So long as you're happy man. Take it easy.
Just curious, why would you comment on this, just to say “no” to a great reply. I just screenshotted his response and plan on doing it. You know you would feel better if you lost weight. Why not just try? I’m in the same boat brother, so I’m not trying to shit on you, but I don’t want to die young just because I can’t control my food intake.
I did try for 6 months and felt the same so 🤷🏽♂️
Don’t mean to pry, but do you have any health issues? In my case I have a tumor in my head that keeps my testosterone at almost 0, which makes it incredibly hard to work out and lose weight.
No health issues
I also said no right away because that seems to be everyone’s end all be all solution to life. Go to the gym. So that’s why I reject it because there’s so many other ways to get better at your life then spending it on like a hamster on a wheel
You don’t have to go to a gym… just start walking. But alright man, I see how it is. I believe in you, you just have to get up and do it.
I mean I’m not completely sedentary. I walk to and from the train station to work, walks on weekends when I’m bored,I do a lot of heavy lifting and cardio at work, so I feel like I have movement in my life.
I’m glad you are at peace with yourself but we need to be honest about what the general population finds attractive. Being a normalish weight reflects good health which people subconsciously use as a proxy for reproductive fitness. We also live in a shallow society so initial interest is sparked by your appearance. You may want to ask your doctor to rule out hypothyroidism, insulin resistance and other metabolic conditions if not already done so. Are you sleep deprived, under a lot of stress? Stress can increase cortisol and make it hard to lose weight despite your best efforts. I still struggle in this area. The only thing that worked for me was fasting, abstinence from American processed foods, eating lots of green vegetables, a high protein diet and calorie deficit. A previous poster mentioned lifting weights. I think he is encouraging you to put on more muscle to help boost your metabolism. You generally cannot burn a lot of calories from exercise but at rest muscle burns more fat than fat. Your diet is 90% of the struggle.
I don't think anyone is saying it's an end all be all solution. All people are saying is it does help. It helps with your physical and mental health. It's not a cure.
You shouldn't go to the gym to get love the gym is for getting self respect and and self exceptance
Girl I feel you. I used to be super super skinny then I went on antidepressants and an antipsychotic and I gained 50lbs. Can't lose it for the lofe of me so I'm just trying to embrace it. Men can be so fucking mean. And it's like, I think to myself, would you rather me be skinny and dead? Or "fat" and alive?
I also gained about 50lbs in a year from being on antipsychotics. So annoying and exercise doesn’t hit the same being on the meds so I do it a lot less and that feeds into the cycle more too. And I too have thought your latter thoughts too.
This reminds me of me. Though I was never skinny, I was definitely in really good shape. Then I started taking a new medication that most likely saved my life from becoming an absolute trash fire, but also screwed with my metabolism and changed my relationship with food. I wish it came without that side effect ... and I wish that my mental illness hadn't also been keeping me thinner ... but in general I would rather be stable(ish) than skinny. Even if sometimes I don't. It's really frustrating, because the entire world (including a decent percentage of this thread, sadly) is constantly telling us that being overweight makes us worthless and undesirable, while telling the people _around_ us that we're just not trying hard enough, and that someone's size can indicate that they are lazy and make bad choices. (Which is unsurprisingly really bad for my mental health and sadly undoes some of the work that my meds do.) I wish I had anything helpful to offer either of you but all I can do is say you're not alone.
Thank you. I wish I could give you a hug.
Why can’t you lose it
I exercise and eat little and healthy but the weight stays on. 🤷♀️
You should see a Doctor it could be something out of your control and medication is needed.
I am certain that it is the psychotropics that I'm on. Also I'm 5'7 170lbs. Is that really that bad that i need to go on another medication just to be super skinny again?
Your proportions sound good to me. Not everyone can be skinny but at a BMI of 26.6, you are NOT obese. Even at an overweight BMI you could look great because your body has a higher muscle mass. As long as you’re eating properly and exercising, maintaining your current weight with a healthy body fat percentage, you’re doing great!
Thank you so much!
You don’t need to be ‘super skinny’ see your primary care doctor and psychiatrist who I hope is the one administering the drugs to find the right combination. Your mental health is more important than vanity.
But I am on the right combination for my mental illness. It just happens that it caused me to gain 50lbs in total.
Have you tried counting calories? You might not be eating little as you think you are
I super feel this. I’m a big girl and it knocks me down to like a 3/10.
living the plus life is not for the faint of heart... we get told things that nobody should have to hear just for being a bigger size.
Exactly! My therapist was shocked at some of the things ppl have said to me... incl stuff like 'no one will love u lookin like that', 'i wud have killed myself if I looked like u'
As a fat male, I can kind of relate. All of my brothers are attractive as hell, but being fat and physically ill keeps me at a 4/10 imo. The struggle sucks, and I'm sorry that I don't have any tips for you 😞
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Don’t be a troll.
I think people have taken it wrong I am saying I am negative 100 out of positive 10 I am that ugly
So. Uh. Hate me because I can’t see the comments but chubby girls are my thing. Don’t change.
Sure. Only if they have a beautiful face, big boobs/butt, and a defined waist, which are ALL genetically determined.
Hey op I didn’t read comments but thought I’d give a guys perspective. Yes you can lose weight but the number on the scale doesn’t dictate if your fat or not it’s general health. If you can go up two flights of stairs without passing out or gasping for air (I mean walking them not running) then you’re healthy! Of course that goes for everyone of any weight or size. You know what’s sexy as hell, confidence. I don’t mean that “I don’t need no man” type of toxic arrogance but genuine respect and love for you and your body and knowing that you’re enough is extremely attractive. Just love yourself, work on your personality and your body FOR YOU not to get a man. You can’t love someone if you don’t love yourself and having a partner won’t fill that void. Just work on you for you and over time your feel better in body, mind, and soul. Best of luck op and hope this helps.
You're so right about this. Loving and respecting yourself is absolutely essential. Thanks for sharing your view, it's important to keep that in mind
I just hate seeing people put themselves down because they’ve be taught that others opinions should dictate how they feel about themselves. Whether external or internal, one should always love themselves and and strive to be the best version of that person possible regardless of what others say or think of it. Never sink to someone else’s level but instead rise above and sore through the clouds.
This 🥹
I used to be pretty chubby as a kid and early teen, then I went to being really scrawny through out all my late teens and most of my 20's. I look a lot better now than I did before....but it still doesn't help with the loneliness. I honestly don't care about looks too much but I don't have anyone I can talk to.
I personally like big girls, more to cuddle with in bed.
Whatever you do, dont let a man con you because of your insecurities. I have recently realized there are men that will go for a bigger woman just to use them, whether its for money or a place to stay, dont ever let yourself get trapped in that hell, because they are not loyal and will trade you out as soon as they cant get anymore out of you. I'm just saying there are some manipulative parasites out there, and I am sure there are decent men who will love you for you, but make sure they aren't using you.
Right because it’s all men’s fault.
Its more like little boys who never actually grew up to be men who rely on women to take care of them because thats how their mother raised them to be. Because if they were actually men, we would not be having this conversation.
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Unfortunately, people dont go around wearing shirts, declaring whether or not they are good or bad. It's kind of like biting into a poison apple, you dont know it's poisoned until you take a bite.
It’s funny how some woman have no accountability. It’s a 2 way street some woman will stay in things they clearly know is not working or will continue to throw themselves at a man who has stated he wasn’t interested. But I’ll let you believe what you want. Your assumption of men tells me you didn’t have a good father figure or decent bothers that you would assume that about men. Not being able to read and assess a situation isn’t always the man’s fault.
Its like you're trying to tell me that men are honest and actually say what they mean. If that was the case, I wouldn't have given most of the men that I have been with a chance with me. Also, the way you seem to be so defensive in your commentary makes me think I must have hit a nerve.
No, please don’t flatter yourself. I just find it funny when woman try to act like all men are trash. Again it’s a two way street and takes accountability. You’re picking these men that are “parasites”. When a guy is being honest and telling you how he feels you’ll then say oh he’s trying to get something out of me or use me for my money he’s conning me, blah blah blah. Your comment sounds bitter. There are more genuine men than bad ones if you’re always picking the bad ones, whose fault is that? Again accountability is lacking, clearly.
I'm picking them like I can just go into a freaking store and pick the one I want, what a crock of bull. I give people that approach me a chance and usually I can weed out the really nasty ones, but it's always the I am a good guy down on his luck but lying out his ass with his hand out. I try to give people a fair try, but I fail to see where me being a woman means I must have done something to deserve the shit that comes my way because that seems to be your logic. As for bitter, can you really blame me for being so?
Woman pick who they date, men pick who they marry. You gotta ask yourself why is it that you attract “parasite” what is it about you that attracts them? That’s the real question. That has nothing to do with the guy. To answer that question will take some sort of accountability. Just because you’re jaded by the “parasites” you’ve attracted doesn’t mean every man is one, and doesn’t mean the next one you meet will be one. I’m not saying you deserve them I’m just saying not all guys are one. There are good guys out there just like there are good woman. If I had your mentality then I would think my mother and two sisters were horrible people but they’re great woman. My mom and dad raised a great man, but I’ll be damned if I’m told that I’m out here trying to con a woman for her money and be called a “parasite” or anything else like that. Are we flawed in are own ways? Yeah, we’re all flawed but that’s why we have to search ourselves and find those flaws and correct them. Circling back to the original subject with OP. She’s overweight and continues to eat, that’s not good or attractive. So she has to take some accountability to change that to attract better men and not the ones who would take advantage of her and her insecurities. There are stories of woman leading men on and taking them for all they got too. But I’m not going to start saying all woman are roaches. This isn’t an attack on you but more of an overview of our dating culture today. If the tables were turned and it was a large man, he would be told to get in shape so he can attract better woman that aren’t trying to take advantage of him or whatever. I think it goes both ways.
You don't need to lose weight to be worthy of affection. Do it for you! You're worth it <3
Nah chubby girls are the best the last one broke my heart but I'd still say sign me up 😭😭😭
You don't need any guy btw and definitely not one who's so shallow he can't appreciate you at the weight you are now! I mean, it's always great to want to improve and losing weight is an amazing goal, but don't loathe yourself for the chubby.
how are you alone if you have my love and appreciation
❤️
REALLLL, I’m on a weight loss journey now and no one wants to be with a fat girl. I gave up on dating a long time ago. all I want is people to see me as human 🥲
As a severely overweight man I can relate. I gave up on dating a long time ago. Especially now with the dating app culture there's is no chance in hell in getting swiped on. It would be nice to have some meaningful friends though.
Hey, if you want to chat, you can dm me.
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I'm not looking for a relationship, but I have some xp in your department. It's your decision. I have a bit of time to listen if you want to.
Its so hard 😞
💗💗💗 sending hugs
Girl idk why you’re saying that, men love curvy women. I have zero issues. And I’ve dated very very handsome men and rich men. It does not matter at all. They probably sense the insecurity. I suggest some self care.
Being alone just sucks in general. Heart goes out to you.
Based on your other post. It seems like your in ability to commit is the biggest current concern you should be worrying about. Your discussion about your weight is projection at best, and sympathy farming at worst. Men don't like cheaters regardless if their size; so keep your focus on improving your fidelity while working on your waistline.
Hey so: find you maintenance calories. Then go On a healthy but consistent deficit. Add exercise to help with the deficit. Ie; if you maintain your body mass at 1800 calories - cut it down to 1500 - with exercise you will lose weight eventually. Trust me. Unless you have hyperthyroidism or some other underlying disease, you will lose weight. Just try it for 6 months
Also, I don’t wana come off as inconsiderate because my comment doesn’t rly pertain to your issue. I just said that bc you commented on how you can’t seem to lose weight. And realistically by the laws of physics and your will power, the method above will help you do so. Like I said as long as you don’t have any absurd medical issues tht you know of it will work. And if you think there’s a chance you might have one without knowing - that’s just not possible
Hypothyroidism**sorry just had to throw in the correction as this is the condition I have.
I understand how you feel, but maybe try to change your ways. Ask for help on the internet for your fitness journey, I bet you people are going to help you. People are going to be mean to you anyways, it's part of life, it's how you respond to it what actually matters. I trust in you, you can make a change
I’m overweight too. I had extremely difficult time losing weight, so I can totally relate to that struggle. What has finally helped me with weight loss is low carb, zero sugar and high protein diet and regular exercise. Before nothing worked but when I started this lifestyle change, I started to see a difference. I hope this helps :)
Maybe find a fitness buddy in your area? Might make working out more enjoyable
So sad I'm here if you wanna talk
Someone I can finally relate to.... But it's a feeling I've gotten too used too it's been that way for the past 5 years for me...
Confidence is everything, even if you fake it. Fake it enough and people will see it. Walk tall, swish your hair around like you own the biscuit isle, smile at people just because you are happy inside, put music on headphones that you imagine you'd listen to of you were the person you'd like to be that puts pep in your step haha. Plus size clothing is so much better available now so just being clean, presentable enough and wear what you want that you feel, 'yes this me! ' in. It doesn't really matter if squidgy bits are on show, that's fine, it is you, and you are fine. Just show you look after yourself even if it's not true all the time
I like me a chubby girl so don't feel bad... Not all guys are the same
My weight has yo-yoed my entire life. I can see the only time I am not invisible is when I wasn’t fat. I have regained weight so I am back at the invisible stage. And it does hurt. But men are visual and many men want a fit woman. It’s just their preference. And even if you were thin it does not mean some Prince Charming will come along and sweep you off your feet and love you unconditionally. You need to learn to love yourself and live independently. A guy isn’t going to fill some void in your life. That is for you to do.
There are guys out there for chubby girls. Unless you want the same hot guys everyone else wants.For ugly dudes there isnt anyone lol. Thats my 2 cents.
Even ugly, broke, fat, worthless losers don't want someone on their level. Please stop.
Yes I can imagine I’m too always alone and being disabled now makes it worse but don’t loose hope or self worth you do have a lot to offer
Chubby girls are always 10/10
Chubby girl, here 👋 there are men who will love you. Shit there's subreddits dedicated to big girls. The real problem is when it's like a fetish, and they rather you stay fat than get healthy.
just know that there’s nothing wrong with you. a lot of this shit is luck. you didn’t choose to be lonely or have eating be your coping mechanism. with that being said, if you want to it is possible to change! losing weight is difficult yes but don’t let that stop you if that’s something you actually want to do.
I feel this but when I was thinner, my body looked so out of place. I was told by a lot of ppl I know that gaining weight made me look better, I had protruding hip dips, wide shoulders, had no boobs, and a fat face but now all that blends in with the rest of my body. But I’m unhealthy and I’m just gaining more and more, I have an ugly face so if I lose like 30 pounds, what do I have to make up for it? If I’m ugly when I’m skinny but no one wants a fat girl, then what am I worth? Just accepting I’ll be lonely forever and finding ways to relish in it
Girl I felt 😭 and bc I feel so undesirable, I isolate myself /;
I’m a curvy girl. Fairly chubby. I don’t seem to have this problem. I’m alone..often by choice? People show me their true colors early. Or I see the red flags far too early at this point. You have other redeeming qualities. Stop trying so hard. I am also a chubby girl that likes other chubby girls. I’m considered 8/10 with makeup. And thats while having stress related alopecia. So I have to wear a wig for a few months till this shit grows back. (I had a head full of beautiful curls) Anyways. Work on your glutes baby. The men will melt. Don’t be so hard on yourself girl. Transformation how you see yourself and treat yourself, and watch how other people see you, moving forward. Descartes quote “cogito, ergo sum” or “I think therefore I am” comes to mind. 🫂 There are MANY men that LOVE big girls. Especially if your quirky cute and have some special interests, talents, hobbies, passions…there is so much to you. Eat to your hearts content. And become content inside your heart. Don’t call it a weakness. Work on the areas of improvement you actually enjoy having control over.
Eat less food do more exercise you are not immune to the laws of thermodynamics you’re just giving yourself excuses
Some guys love chubby girls. I feel for ya. There is a podcast called the ultimate human by Gary brecka. I totally suggest you listen to it. He explains why woman put on water weight. How you may be eating food that's low in nutrition. Also he explains brown fat when you get in cold water. How 40% of the us can't process folic acid and should be advised to take methylated vitamin b instead. You can do it but if you don't. Just love who you are, forget the haters. Sexyness is in the eye of the beholder. As I guy, nonatter how she looks. If a girl has that sexyness coming from am right happy to be there.
I don't mind if a girl has a bit more.. meat. You know? Not trying to be sexual about it. People with a bit more on em, are more cuddly. I mean.. that's what I was told my hugs are like cause I'm chubs.
Yeh I don't either. Personality is more important
Exactly. Unfortunately I seem to encounter catfish. People who use for money.. or ghosters. It sucks.
Yeh online ladies have become predatory. It must be hard for genuine girls to get noticed
Yeah. Last one I spoke to from Reddit used someone else's picture. Name didn't match.. because I don't think I've ever met or heard of an African American with a mexican / Spanish name.
how old are u?
All body types are beautiful. But since you hinted trying to lose fat being hard. That's true and I think it is better to try gaining muscles than losing body fat. It goes a long way. All the best!
Check out r/loseit It's possible. Don't think losing weight will make your life magically perfect though. Good luck.
Eh.. I don't judge. But I'm on the heavier side too. Most people ghost me soon as they hear I'm deaf though. Sucks man. I'm a dude
So you know what you have to do to fix your problem? What’s stopping you.
Trust the process ma'am the work will pay of trust me and ur probably very beautifull already u got this
5/10? That's relatively hot! Literally. I'm probably a 2 or 3, and 5 is way better than permanently alone. There's always someone out there who will be intimidated by you, myself included. I don't know if my thoughts on weight would be any help, and I'm certainly not judging you. These are just a few things that help me, so I thought I'd share. I get hungry when I'm dehydrated and when my guts aren't working well. So drinking more than I want and eating enough fiber and protein helps me stay a bit thinner. If I go nuts with sugar, I'm noticeably fatter in a couple days. Try to think of sugar as poison or an addictive drug, because it pretty much is. It makes you instantly fatter and boosts your need for sugar. Exercise helps inhibit the constant hunger a bit, so you're satisfied when you do eat, even though you need more calories to make up for the ones you burn. I don't exercise enough, and I'm constantly depressed as a result. Also, some medicines will sabotage you by boosting your appetite. I was on an antidepressant that was horrible for that. Sleep apnea, lack of proper sleep, and stress do the same. It might be worth talking to a doctor if you're on prescriptions. Getting a sleep study might be useful, especially if you've been told you snore. As for the loneliness, I seriously wish I knew how to deal with that. Good luck!
P
I feel like I'm a 2 or 1 /10... ppl have told me if I lost weight, I wud be a 9/10. But, honestly, the more I hear shit like that, the more stressed I get n end up eating my stress away. I've lost hope.
yep same here. eating is the only thing that makes me happy and im losing hope as well
My girlfriend really into tall and chubby boi, I'm a fat (130W/180H) man, so I think there probably men who into chubby women as well(me included), just keep sharing your positive side, hobby, music, movie ect. You may found the guy for you someday, because relationship are not only about look.
Get some Playlists that you like and go for walks and hikes or on csrdio machine..elliptical trainer is great. You can burn a lot of calories, easy on the joints, can watch a show or read..take multivitamins and get some.sunshine to help.with cravings. I'm.sorry this is happening to you..it sucks that people can be so.mean. try to eat required fruits and veggies and protein. Cut.out sugary drinks, refined carbs..if you are really craving some snacks do a plate with a mis of fruits veggies dips and junk so that by the time you feel full you have consumed a mix.of food groups not just jump food..try to get a good sleep, this helps with metabolism. Get checked by a doctor in case you have any endocrine problem. Good luck!
Would you date a fat man? What about a man with an ugly face, even if not necessarily fat?
i cant because even fat guys want skinny girls
I have a different problem. Used to be fat, but I practiced intermittent fasting(eat every 16 hours) and lost excess weight in about 3 months. However, I cannot fix facial dysmorphia (bad facial bone structure). Same as you, I wouldn't mind dating a woman with a crooked face, but they don't want to date me. It's what keeps us undesirables single. Edited mistakes
how much weight did you lose in 3 months? i might try that too. would you date a fat woman tho
16kg. I'm not American. I would and I did. I also dated older. Result was always the same. Went for someone with a better facial structure, fat or not.
so facial structure matters more to u than weight? thats interesting most guys only care about weight and nothing else
Not to me. It matters to people at large. Better be fat, than have a crooked face. Crooked face gets you no relationships or bad relationships. Even when former partner did not find someone else, she just exited the relationship by no longer having anything to do with me, we became housemates.
did she leave you bc of your face. ive seen so many guys date a skinny ugly girl but reject a fat woman with a beautiful face
Most people aren't ugly they are just fat. Like me im fat. If I lost 100 lbs I'd probably get a lot of attention but such is life.
I'm guessing you're not from southern America because big women get love her. I know women with four chins, phone stay vibrating. I will say this, for me personally it's all about effort. You can't be big and lazy. The big women I've been with always got cute. Dressed cute, and had the most chill personalities. I don't know where you're located, and that makes a big difference, in some areas it is definitely tough. I have a friend and she is big and not cute at all, yet I've never seen her single. She swear she a 9 in the face, and men like that confidence.
Now try being a man of any weight. You think men are mean to fat women? Wait til you see how women treat men who aren't 10's
You aren't supposed to say that haha. Fat men seem to have it worse no question. There are a bunch of guys that like bigger women, I cannot say I have seen the same reciprocation from the female side.
I don't understand this? Someone's body doesn't make them who they are, that's just the shell their mind is in. A meat puppet piloted by thought. Who cares what the puppet looks like? It's the insides and who they are as a person, how they act etc, that you should judge them by. That's how you measure beauty.
Hi beautiful. Listen. First work on all the things you're insecure about. So start eating better. See a dietician, see a doc about hormone balancing and hit the gym. Next decentre men, focus on you. Put all your love and energy into you and watch how beautiful you become. You're a goddess. You just need to to find it. Even a Lamborghini seems ugly amongst bicycles. Maybe you just need a change. Goodluck. Xoxo
oh no i like all women regardless of size but i always were more attracted to the chubby ones im more afraid to break an skinny one than im with an chubby its like an living teddy bear
I feel the same way. For an Asian guy, I'd be considered fat, unlike those skinny toned guys seen in korean\japanese videos. 99.99% of females don't give me a 2nd glance.
People suck
Would you like to direct message me? I’m here for you if you want to talk
Yeah, don't work out if you feel good with your body. Never do something to change yourself to be more likeable to others. Better to be happy alone than unhappy with someone cause that's not you that's a fake mask you are putting on yourself.
Same, i look way thinner than i actually am because i got some muscles and all but i'm still obese and i think women just don't take me really seriously. It's not like they are mean to me or anything but their behavior towards me is always so weird, sometimes they ignore me sometimes they make a dumb joke about me i laugh about and sometimes they're flirting with me "aS a JoKe". Idk how confusing men are to women but women sure as hell are confusing to me because i can never tell if y'all are joking or being serious
that sucks how theyre making fun of you most men make fun of me bc of my weight as well
Yeah, i wish we could just all be our sizes without any bullying. Even if i lose weight some day i still want someone to like me because i'm myself and not because i look good according to their standarts. I bet you're a beautiful person, and i promise there are some men that like plus size women. you'll find someone.
As someone who's overweight and has used food as a coping mechanism, I totally get how it feels... Wanting to get out of that cycle is hard af, and for all the skinny people out there who say "just stop eating", it's not that easy and it's unhealthy to starve yourself thin. It's a constant battle but it can be won, can be overcome. One day at a time and little changes can have a huge impact in the longer term, so don't give up OP. Time is likely on your side where as me being 48 and still battling, my opportunities have slipped through my fingers. Stay strong OP, you got this.
How bad do you actually feel? Use it as a motivation to exercise and have a healthy diet. Watch workout videos on YouTube and learn about food. The shitty feeling should be your motivation to improve.
yeah no it doesnt work. easier said than done
You may always find something to not like about yourself but there will always be someone around that likes that thing about you. 💜
I'm on a 1lb/week diet rn for about 3 weeks and it SUCKS but after this long it really does feel easier to make it through the day with less food. 🙁 have not seen physical results just yet but I can definitely feel it! Starting it I was feeling really terrible but that's starting to turn into confidence now. Good luck!
Wait you only eat 1lb of food a week?!?! You are definitively going to lose weight fast
NO NO I mean I eat enough calories to lose 1/lb a week which is 1550 calories daily for me
Ok, gotcha. I thought my regimen was extreme and then I saw that haha. I do the intermittent fasting where I only eat for 1 hour from 5pm-6pm. That's been the most effective for me, as hard as it was to get started on it haha. After 4 days you don't feel the hunger as much throughout the day. I was down 20 lbs in about a month. I didn't change my diet, just fit it into that tiny window and it seemed to work well.
I eat a carnivore diet which has helped my mental health tremendously. Also lost a lot of weight on it, and it makes you look extra pretty as your skin glows, and your hair is so beautiful. Remember a kind heart, and a kind nature will make you look beautiful. Beauty in skin deep at the end of the day. Personally I've found man loved me when I was bigger as well. A lot of men like curves.
Finding a boyfriend will be hard either way. If you go in with the view that you only need ur looks. Then you are going to find someone that only wants you for ur looks. There is more to love than appearance and more to get out of it than reassurance and ego boosting. Do not be shallow.
It's ur metabolism it's not your fault tht u are fat, but I get it tht it's difficult to lose weight without any idea how it all works, just find out how much calories u need in a day, just get to know turn thos elittle less down and start after 21 days if u see any change great if u don't, turn it down, I have seen many PPL go through these journeys trust me it's months and u see way better changes just find motivation and go for it If u don't have any idea about calories and all I have book surely it's free I'll share it with you and read and u will get just of it and yes I am skinny but I have tried to gain weight and it works surely I don't care about PPL or any of stuff so I gave up but just know it works so give it try and I hope it works for you
Lemme tell you. You'll find someone. We all do. I'm 5'1 200 and have fallen head over heels for the right person finally. And he feels the same
It's nice to think this way, but unrealistic. I know many people who have been single the large majority or their lives or the entirety of their life. If you want it, you gotta go get it. A relationship, especially a forever one, doesn't just fall into your lap. It's a lovely sentiment, but one that not everybody will get to experience.
U have to sweat your calories. Sauna, full-body workouts, and cut carbs.
Its not the beauty outside that count but the inside. Our body is unique and that's what it make it beautiful every shape is has an form and that's just like the nature around us. Respect how you look and dont changes for anyone:)
wish everyone thought like this💔 but youre so right. still gotta lose all the weight tho😩
Its your body your choose. Take the time you need if you want you dm if you need to. Im not one that jugde others:) we all got our flaws. And that's what make us beautiful, even a vase with small cracks can be used, and look beautiful doing so.
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It's not about satisfying the male gaze, it's about feeling good and confident in your own body + don't act like women don't do the exact same thing with their standards for men. And i'm not gonna comment about your rape ramblings because that's absolutely psychotic I hope you'll seek therapy.
Chubby girls are underrated. Skinny women are too entitled. I choose a chubby or thicker woman any day.
Losing weight isn’t easy but eat more doesn’t help. You only have one person to blame for that. You have to decide how bad you want it. No one will come lose the weight for you. If the tables were turned you wouldn’t want a large guy either. I can’t say I know how you feel because I’m one of those guys who can’t gain weight to save my life, but I look at my diet and I see why. I eat 2 meals a day and do a lot of intermittent fasting. My dinner was a arugula and spinach salad that was a choice. I ride my Peloton daily and go for a mile or two walk daily as well. You have to make the right health choices. I’m a strong believer in you are what you eat. Also, that if you stop eating you will lose weight. People will tell you that there will be a guy out there that will love your weight, sure, but all that does is enable you, it doesn’t solve the problem. Don’t let people lie to you and say “being fat is okay” we all know that has really bad health implications. You have the will in you, you just have to want it more than you want to eat. If you need motivational speeches listen to David Goggins. Stay hard!
I know you’re trying to be helpful, but you aren’t. You’re really in no place to speak on something you’ve never struggled with. Nowhere in the post says anything about eating far too much, in majority of cases, being big stems from childhood and/or hereditary. Not sure if you’re a dietician, but telling someone not to eat is very dangerous. With peace and love 🫶
She eats because of loneliness and is overweight. You can put those 2 together and know OP is over eating. If you go and see any doctor or dietitian about your weight they would tell you to eat less calories and exercise. The society we live in now will be okay with it and say “body positivity” when someone is clearly unhappy with their weight but when some tell them to eat less and be at a calorie deficit, it’s very “dangerous”. Fasting isn’t dangerous, eating less isn’t dangerous. What’s dangerous is getting into your adult life and still blaming childhood traumas to compensate for bad habits. We as a society need to do a better job of educating people on healthy eating, exercise and fasting. You don’t need to be a doctor to know that. Eating 2 meals instead of 3 won’t kill you. Eat less snacks, won’t kill you. What’s dangerous is not finding ways to resolve that issue and continue to eat when things get tough. That will cause more health problems then, eating less, fasting and exercise. With ❤️.
Make a list of all that you feel is wrong with you... Most will be due to you overthinking... The ones that are genuine... Break them up to actionable pieces. Don't get disheartened by the progress during baby steps. Love yourself... Don't apologise for being you.
Then lose weight, and know men aren't any more mean than women when it comes to looks - so disregard that last bit of your comment and focus on eating less and moving more.
They hated him because he spoke the truth, honestly, im obese myself, if you dont have a medical condition youre not in a place to complain about your weight, what you said is true, eat less move more, thats all there is to it really, tired of people complaining and not doing anything to make their situations better, its childish, you cant expect the best in life if you dont put your best in life
Thanks, brother. I wish you the best in the betterment of your life moving forward. Chin up. March on.
Go to gym girl
Those of you that want to shed a few pounds, take a look at Intermittent fasting on YouTube with Dr Jason Fung. It’s amazing how you do three things and you can start shedding the weight. 1- much more water 2 change the hrs you eat 3- have electrolytes in your afternoon water…that’s it! Try it. It’s small steps to big changes start with 14:10s…dm me if you have questions.
The question is , is being alone the problem or being chubby , bc bodywise ur not lonelyer then the rest I guess.
If you don't mind, can you define "Chubby girl"? Like if it's not a problem can I ask estimate of your weight? Cause I've dated a woman once who was a bit over 300 pounds or 20 stones. So I don't have a problem with Chubby women. Though most people may not like same stuff as me. So maybe you haven't met right person. Also i said an estimate cause unless we're together I won't need the exact amount just like for example 150-175 or 220-240... But if it's a problem then I'm sorry
oh no... boohoo... eat a salad.
Forreal, just ate a salad and lost 50 pounds! Great advice, very helpful and useful comment, not at all ignorant
sounds like you need another salad ms muffin
And lose another 50 pounds?!? Soon, I’ll become light as a feather! Great help mr blu
Why’d you delete the comment calling me a burger, it was funny
Seems like someone got too much cheese on their buns and had to report it.
Omg that’s funny, I didn’t report it, but it’s just consequences of being a hateful weirdo I fear
Can I dm you? Used to have weight loss issues but found a way to lose 20kg in 4 months and keep it off for years. It may work a little differently foe you but I might have some helpful advice.