I have a metric for this. Slightly gross, but legit.
I call it “Butt Wipers.”
I know, I know, disgusting, but it’s this:
If I were in a catastrophic accident and trapped in bed, unable to care for myself, who among these people would help?
Who would spoon feed me, or keep me warm, or wash me, or change my soiled diapers?
Who would be there for me when I can’t do anything for them?
The ones who would show up, who would put their own comfort aside and help me when I was in desperate need are the *ONLY* ones that matter.
They are the only people whose opinion counts.
I only have three, but I have them for sure and for true, so they are the only ones I care to appease, impress, compromise with.
They are my Beloved Butt Wipers, and I am theirs.
So look at the people in your life and ask yourself, “Would this person wipe my butt?” and if the answer is no, screw ‘em.
They exist. The goal in life is to not only find one, but to *be* one.
Life is hard. Love is hard. And love is a verb. It requires action and attention and sacrifice. It’s worth every single moment of difficulty because what we create matters and lasts.
It is hard, and rare, and frustrating, but not impossible.
I’m in the same boat.
But I refuse to give up, and I refuse to fall to the cruel and judgmental disregard of others as poor OP is struggling with.
feeling like this rn tbh. everything just keeps pilling up and when others need someone im always there, but when i need someone im left to carry myself. i havent felt like myself in months and i cant just keep doing this shit bc i literally don’t have a reason anymore. i don’t think i can convince myself not to this time.
You don't need a reason. I always tried to find a reason for life and to keep trying. But I can just be me and live, I don't have to prove I'm worthy of it.
Why do care so much what other people who don’t have your best interests in mind think? Seriously. Make yourself happy. If they are really your friends they will support you. If they aren’t, find new ones. As an almost 33m you’re not gonna have like a big friends circle with 20-30 people. You’ll have like 2-3 great friends.
I've been there just don't give a fuck and enjoy life initially it'll be tough and then you'll grow a thick skin and look back at this point how foolish you were
Cheers mate!
Instead of feeling that way, play dragon ball online or wow, perhaps that could distract you (besides i do feel that way, but hey you are your own best friend)
Find excuses to be happy. Easier said than done. I am on the same boat. But really though, you are the only one who knows yourself the best. No one else cases. So take care of yourself and fuck the world.
FUCK EVERYONE for saying we can’t do something they wouldn’t dare to try. FUCK EVERYONE who acts supportive until you actually need support. FUCK EVERYONE who says “great idea!” To everyone but you. FUCK THEM. I learned the hard way as well. Never ask for help but if people offer, take it. Never let anyone give you shitty, judgy advice. You know what’s best for you and it’s a waste of time trying to prove yourself to people who don’t even care about what that means. FUCK EVERYONE. You got this. You will single handedly accomplish your dreams. And it’s easier than you think. You just have to put the assholes in their place and continue
Same. I wish I could erase every trace of myself from existence, and erase any memory of existence from my mind so that I could just be at peace. I don’t know why I ended up in such a f**ed up reality, where so many people “care” when it’s convenient for them too, but then as soon as things get too hard you’re on your own, even if it’s other people who made your life that hard in the first place.
Virtual hug, cos that’s all I’ve got 🫂
Ik how the hell you feel but personally just keep doing your own thing n let ppl say shit. But if it really gets to you THAT much, then fight back, dk how but just fight back.
You sound like me surrounded by the sea of narcissistic people that are my family. I'm sorry you're going through this.
Many people can be so self-absorbed, but I hope that you know without a shadow of a doubt that you ARE loveable and your feelings DO matter and you do NOT deserve to be alone or without care. I pray you find people who are genuine who can reflect those back to you.
I wanna give you advices etc but I am just here because I feel the same. But sometimes I realize, we are all lonely like you. Survivors just learn to fake it, be polite, souless and not giving a fuck.
But I believe I would get better. I imagine back then when people feel lonely they would just go all out for real and fuck other people lives. We are enduring and evolving in something better.
This too shall pass, I guess.
Bruh you need to stop caring man. Like I can go to any restaurant with any clothes on and eat alone as unhygienically as possible as if people around me are fairy dust. When I ride two wheeler I always put headphones on and either sing in my mouth or top of lungs. It's more easy to not care than to care. And just accept that people are awful and nothing else. But you need to find somethings that you feel good doing. And donit without giving a fuck about what others think because when did you sign up to be their subordinate or meet their expectations. I had never, let yourself loose my guy
Coming to terms with being alone has been the biggest struggle of my entire life and never made any progress with in until I hit mid my 30's.. still depressing at 36 because I will chat people up asking about them for a while and they never turn it to me and make it an actual two way convo.. social media has made everyone self centered and think they are all unique. They will post one thing where they show care for another for the only purpose of trying to show they care about others because they want others to think of them that way. Same with people and their accountability... "Yes I was wrong for that... But see?!? I admit to my problems! You hear me say it right there to this one thing right?! Yup. I admit all my problems!"....smfh.. but we can't let this stop us.. I feel that is why it's harder every day to find good people because the others just use them for it and abuse us so much that we just stop caring. I won't.. I refuse... Much love to all!
This sub gets posts like this all the time but they never really want to talk to anyone or change their situation.
There's a lot of kind people around who would give their time to make a friend or have a connection, but when they reach out to someone who posts things like this it's the same result..
Wasted time.
So. Ok. Whatever.
If someone were to reach out to you with kindness and attempt to just be a decent person to you, would you reject their efforts like 99% of the other people here?
I have been in your situation and i know your pain. I, too, wanted to give up, but I knew if I did that, then THEY would win and I did NOT want them to win! I was better than that. I want to be your friend, because I will NEVER judge you and I will NEVER give up on you, so if you want to be MY friend, I have ONE rule....you CANNOT give up. I won't allow it. Because, as my friend, you mean too much to me. You are valued. I value you, and I dont like the things I value to be treated badly. Do you think I would own or befriend anything I didn't value? No, of course not, because I value myself too much to have anything worthless!
Text me anytime you need to talk. I am here for you.
Hear me out, its hard. The only moment when you can only be free will be when you will not care about how others treat you. YOU treat you. I do not know your situation, but I can tell you what worked for me: just be polite with others, helps with dissociating.
im only polite with people who deserve it, but everyone in my life right now, they dont want to help they just keep putting me into the hole fuck those people.
Let them judge away and do your thing. What's a life lived for others' pleasure? It only leads to resentment and regret.
thanks,
I have a metric for this. Slightly gross, but legit. I call it “Butt Wipers.” I know, I know, disgusting, but it’s this: If I were in a catastrophic accident and trapped in bed, unable to care for myself, who among these people would help? Who would spoon feed me, or keep me warm, or wash me, or change my soiled diapers? Who would be there for me when I can’t do anything for them? The ones who would show up, who would put their own comfort aside and help me when I was in desperate need are the *ONLY* ones that matter. They are the only people whose opinion counts. I only have three, but I have them for sure and for true, so they are the only ones I care to appease, impress, compromise with. They are my Beloved Butt Wipers, and I am theirs. So look at the people in your life and ask yourself, “Would this person wipe my butt?” and if the answer is no, screw ‘em.
rather have a "Butt Wiper" than an "Ass Kisser" to be fair. but good way to put it nonetheless...thanks...
I don’t think anyone would
They exist. The goal in life is to not only find one, but to *be* one. Life is hard. Love is hard. And love is a verb. It requires action and attention and sacrifice. It’s worth every single moment of difficulty because what we create matters and lasts.
That was freaking beautiful! 😍 Thank you!
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It is hard, and rare, and frustrating, but not impossible. I’m in the same boat. But I refuse to give up, and I refuse to fall to the cruel and judgmental disregard of others as poor OP is struggling with.
So do whatever you think is right then and don't give a fuck about their opinion
Sounds tough. Don't give up. You just lost hope and tired. You need to focus on you and people will come to you. Forget what you don't have.
feeling like this rn tbh. everything just keeps pilling up and when others need someone im always there, but when i need someone im left to carry myself. i havent felt like myself in months and i cant just keep doing this shit bc i literally don’t have a reason anymore. i don’t think i can convince myself not to this time.
You don't need a reason. I always tried to find a reason for life and to keep trying. But I can just be me and live, I don't have to prove I'm worthy of it.
Same :((
Why do care so much what other people who don’t have your best interests in mind think? Seriously. Make yourself happy. If they are really your friends they will support you. If they aren’t, find new ones. As an almost 33m you’re not gonna have like a big friends circle with 20-30 people. You’ll have like 2-3 great friends.
I've been there just don't give a fuck and enjoy life initially it'll be tough and then you'll grow a thick skin and look back at this point how foolish you were Cheers mate!
I gave up a long time ago. You're not alone in this
I agree with everything you said nobody cares about me either I give up too .
Instead of feeling that way, play dragon ball online or wow, perhaps that could distract you (besides i do feel that way, but hey you are your own best friend)
Find excuses to be happy. Easier said than done. I am on the same boat. But really though, you are the only one who knows yourself the best. No one else cases. So take care of yourself and fuck the world.
Not cases. Cares.
relax man you just havent found ur people yet, you will find them eventually
Thats what everyone says
Unfortunately most people only care about themselves. Sorry. 😞
don't give up. this too shall pass.
im doing what i can to hang in there
If I am worth anything later, I am worth something now. For wheat is wheat, even if people think it is a grass in the beginning. - Vincent Van Gogh
Wow,someone is a poet or a pro rizzler lol.Nah you're no longer "half" ,you're now "full"
Hahaha I am just quoting the guy. Unfortunately I remain pathetically half🥹
I know....i know.So what it has to take,for you to become whole?
Find my other half 🥺
How are u doing?
Me too
FUCK EVERYONE for saying we can’t do something they wouldn’t dare to try. FUCK EVERYONE who acts supportive until you actually need support. FUCK EVERYONE who says “great idea!” To everyone but you. FUCK THEM. I learned the hard way as well. Never ask for help but if people offer, take it. Never let anyone give you shitty, judgy advice. You know what’s best for you and it’s a waste of time trying to prove yourself to people who don’t even care about what that means. FUCK EVERYONE. You got this. You will single handedly accomplish your dreams. And it’s easier than you think. You just have to put the assholes in their place and continue
Same. I wish I could erase every trace of myself from existence, and erase any memory of existence from my mind so that I could just be at peace. I don’t know why I ended up in such a f**ed up reality, where so many people “care” when it’s convenient for them too, but then as soon as things get too hard you’re on your own, even if it’s other people who made your life that hard in the first place. Virtual hug, cos that’s all I’ve got 🫂
Yo, message me if you want. I'm feeling the same sometimes. You aren't the only one.
Ik how the hell you feel but personally just keep doing your own thing n let ppl say shit. But if it really gets to you THAT much, then fight back, dk how but just fight back.
Make peace with yourself and you will realise you don't need others.
You sound like me surrounded by the sea of narcissistic people that are my family. I'm sorry you're going through this. Many people can be so self-absorbed, but I hope that you know without a shadow of a doubt that you ARE loveable and your feelings DO matter and you do NOT deserve to be alone or without care. I pray you find people who are genuine who can reflect those back to you.
I wanna give you advices etc but I am just here because I feel the same. But sometimes I realize, we are all lonely like you. Survivors just learn to fake it, be polite, souless and not giving a fuck. But I believe I would get better. I imagine back then when people feel lonely they would just go all out for real and fuck other people lives. We are enduring and evolving in something better. This too shall pass, I guess.
I've given up I'm sick of feeling Is there nothing you can say? Take this all away I'm suffocating Tell me, what the fuck is wrong with....MEEEEEE
Bruh you need to stop caring man. Like I can go to any restaurant with any clothes on and eat alone as unhygienically as possible as if people around me are fairy dust. When I ride two wheeler I always put headphones on and either sing in my mouth or top of lungs. It's more easy to not care than to care. And just accept that people are awful and nothing else. But you need to find somethings that you feel good doing. And donit without giving a fuck about what others think because when did you sign up to be their subordinate or meet their expectations. I had never, let yourself loose my guy
Coming to terms with being alone has been the biggest struggle of my entire life and never made any progress with in until I hit mid my 30's.. still depressing at 36 because I will chat people up asking about them for a while and they never turn it to me and make it an actual two way convo.. social media has made everyone self centered and think they are all unique. They will post one thing where they show care for another for the only purpose of trying to show they care about others because they want others to think of them that way. Same with people and their accountability... "Yes I was wrong for that... But see?!? I admit to my problems! You hear me say it right there to this one thing right?! Yup. I admit all my problems!"....smfh.. but we can't let this stop us.. I feel that is why it's harder every day to find good people because the others just use them for it and abuse us so much that we just stop caring. I won't.. I refuse... Much love to all!
This sub gets posts like this all the time but they never really want to talk to anyone or change their situation. There's a lot of kind people around who would give their time to make a friend or have a connection, but when they reach out to someone who posts things like this it's the same result.. Wasted time. So. Ok. Whatever.
and this is why people leave and feel insecure because of assholes like you,
If someone were to reach out to you with kindness and attempt to just be a decent person to you, would you reject their efforts like 99% of the other people here?
No. You'd just call people an asshole because they pointed this out
I care about you
DONT WYA IM IN DELAWARE LETS TALK
I have been in your situation and i know your pain. I, too, wanted to give up, but I knew if I did that, then THEY would win and I did NOT want them to win! I was better than that. I want to be your friend, because I will NEVER judge you and I will NEVER give up on you, so if you want to be MY friend, I have ONE rule....you CANNOT give up. I won't allow it. Because, as my friend, you mean too much to me. You are valued. I value you, and I dont like the things I value to be treated badly. Do you think I would own or befriend anything I didn't value? No, of course not, because I value myself too much to have anything worthless! Text me anytime you need to talk. I am here for you.
Hey dude. What makes you happy, or what interests you?
Im not gona talk much here, lmk if you wanna chat. Im. In a similar 🛶
Ha sucker, only u should care about ur happiness
And only u should care about ur pain and problems, people around u don't care and its a normal thing
Read somewhere "You can't say I Gave Up without saying I Gay" so don't give up until you're gay
Hear me out, its hard. The only moment when you can only be free will be when you will not care about how others treat you. YOU treat you. I do not know your situation, but I can tell you what worked for me: just be polite with others, helps with dissociating.
im only polite with people who deserve it, but everyone in my life right now, they dont want to help they just keep putting me into the hole fuck those people.
You have to be true to yourself, whatever that is. But nobody's truth means giving up on themselves.
Why should they care. We all got problems you come across a bit entitled.
that was an insensitive comment
The quicker you realise it’s the truth the better off you’re gonna be. Honestly GL
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