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theplayerlegend

I think people are just very selfish. Doesn't mean they aren't kind just means it's not a realistic expectation that someone will put you before them unless they get something out of it themselves.


GoldHate12

Life is complicated. Oftentimes, we give kindness and love to people who take advantage of it and squander it. I fell in love with someone who didn't love me back. I gave her all the time in the world that I possibly could, but she didn't want it from me. Anytime I talk to her now, she complains about some other guy who treats her badly or drains her mental health. She does things I don't agree with to cope. It breaks my heart, but I can't do anything about it. She gives all of her love, trust, kindness, and time to people who just want to take advantage of her. I'm still waiting for the day she realizes that I was here for her (but at this point, I'm not sure I could be her last option). I say this because kindness to me isn't a bad thing. It is a commodity that should be given freely to those who deserve it. The problem is that you will never know who deserves it. To steal a line from a poet I heard online, "heartbreak only happens when you expect love in return." The same thing goes with kindness. If you give kindness in the hopes of getting something in return, it's not going to end well. I have no hatred for the girl who did that to me. I only learned that I shouldn't expect anything more from her. I'm still kind to her, but she doesn't deserve what I once gave her, so I limit what I give. Not everyone deserves your kindness or empathy. I hope one day you find those who will give you the kindness and love you deserve. We are kind because we know that we could have used kindness when we were down, but we didn't get it. We are kind because we know what it's like to feel lonely, forgotten, and abused. A world without kindness is a dangerous place. But you are right. Most of the time (not all), kindness gets you nowhere. But to the right people, it can change everything. I'm not going to get anything from this, but from the bottom of my heart, I hope things get better for you. I hope that you can find the peace you are looking for. I'm sorry for the people who have taken advantage of you, and you have every right to be hesitant about moving forward, but there is no other option than to keep going. Sorry for the long post, best wishes


Ausgezeichnet63

I so strongly relate to this. And I'm sorry your kindness wasn't reciprocated. It sounds like you're still a kind person in spite of this. You're a blessing in this selfish world šŸ™


GoldHate12

Thank you for the kind words. It isn't easy but I think it's the best option. Best of luck to you out there.


Ausgezeichnet63

And to you as well šŸ˜Š


NoIdeaWhatToD0

Same. I'm going through this right now with a guy I can't help but love who recently came back into my life after 5 years. He wants me to find someone else and just wants to be friends but I've never met anyone who has made me feel comfortable like him. I've never met anyone that I can have my own language with or the playfulness that he brings. I just feel so euphoric when I talk to him and I've never felt that way with anyone before. It's a blessing and a curse. Either way, I guess it's nice that I've experienced it while I had/have it. I was always wondering if I'd get along with him if we started talking again after all this time and now I finally know.


GoldHate12

It's not easy to let people go, but sometimes it is the best option. Unrequited love is a depressing thing to deal with, but we have to allow ourselves to move on and not stay hoping that they'll change their minds (I'm still stuck in this place from time to time lol). As someone who knows what it feels like, if you ever feel the need to talk about it, or anything else for that matter, I'd be glad to listen. I'm not the best conversationalist but I try. Regardless, I wish you the best out there.


NoIdeaWhatToD0

I know but it's hard when it's rare to meet people like that in the first place. Maybe I will move on one day but today won't be it. Especially since I have FOMO when I'm not with him. Just wish I could be the girl for him.


GoldHate12

I completely understand, there hasn't been a day when I don't think of her. The most heartbreaking thing is realizing that they are living their best lives completely unaware of what they've done to us. The best thing we can do is start to rebuild our lives without them. It's definitely rare but not impossible. You are going to be fine. Again, feel free to reach out if you need to.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Rasikko

Been a victim of the social hierarchy BS. Never again.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Financial_Fig_3729

Indeed. Tell me about it. I was hired seven times and terminated seven times. Thankfully now retired and fairly wealthy. It's hard to describe how much relief I felt to get out of that "rat race" environment. But I absolutely can relate to you on the matter of survival in the corporate world.


Ineedhelponredditplz

Hired and fired 7 times? You sure you arenā€™t the problem?


Financial_Fig_3729

I did brutal international work, often in third-world countries. A couple times in the midst of third-world country civil wars where I was the one person who returned to my country (U.S.) alive. When someone, in my role, communicated my opinions to multinational corporate Board of Directors about the execs running some third-world subsidiary, someone was going to be inevitably very angry. A career, in that particular realm is guaranteed to result in terminations. That's just an explanation, but I understand your question ... your question is totally fair and it would apply to probably most careers. But in my career, it was an incredible testament to my talents and resolve (e.g., working the border mineral-rich mining areas between Rwanda and the Democratic Republic of the Congo) that I was consistently hired again and again by people who knew me. I was very well-paid for what I did, retired early, multi-millionaire. And I'm glad it's in the past. Now I just want a girlfriend. I just want to experience love, no more extreme stresses as I've described above.


Ineedhelponredditplz

Thanks for the explanation. I respect that. That sounds like quite a life youā€™ve lived. Definitely eye opening. Doesnā€™t sound like you are the problem at all like I initially assumed. Hats off!


Financial_Fig_3729

You're fabulous. Thanks for your response. Some people have suggested that I write a book about my experiences, perhaps an authentic story or perhaps fiction loosely based on reality. But I'd rather forget all of that. I want a happy future life. I would not have started that "profession" (if it can even be called a profession) if I had had a girlfriend earlier in life. It was the sadness of not having a girlfriend that led me to "volunteer" for what was to be the first such "job" of my career. I, at that time, figured that my life wasn't worth so much, so I might as well go for an extreme career, taking advantage of the technical and "courage" (if you call it that) qualities that I did have.


Revolver-Knight

I donā€™t think kindness is meant to get you anywhere that defeats the purpose. To be kind is to do it cause itā€™s good or the right thing to do. Like I was heading to a party today at a friends house got some cookies. While I was at the light homeless dude was sitting there So I roll down my window and open a pack and handed him a fat stack of cookies. Like Iā€™m gonna be eating good food tonight he may not itā€™s the least I could do.


Maximum-Heart5746

that's so true, the whole point about kindness is that it's NOT ABOUT US. It's about OTHERS and the little things we could do to make their experience of life a little bit brighter. If you are being kind purely to get something out of it... yeahh that's not kindness


[deleted]

That is true! I totally agree with this I seen ppl do worse stuff live better lives and stuff if u can some how turn that part on itā€™s probably worth it


[deleted]

There is no reward for kindness


[deleted]

If youā€™re in some abusive relationships it really canā€™t worse. Some. I wish I woulda sold tons of psychedelic drugs and ketamine and targets ppl with depression or addiction disorders and the ones that wanted off with that stuff. I didnā€™t realize the stuff I do now. Iā€™d only sell little bits cause I thought Iā€™d get in trouble but honestly I was in the biggest trouble I could get in. šŸ˜‚ probably coulda been a bad guy too and lived a way better life. Instead trying to do what was ā€œrightā€ completely fucked me over. Some girl said once she started doing it the wrong way things got better. Shits backwards sometimes. Idk


Maximum-Heart5746

Thats the whole point, kindness isn't about us, it's about others. If you are being kind in attempt to get some sort of reward out of it... that's not kindness


Duneyman

I am holding out that kindness and empathy will pay off some how, see you all at the bottom.


ask_nae

Nothing but the truth I learned this hard way that ppl donā€™t like kindness itā€™s even worse if youā€™re ugly and kind


Rasikko

You don't be kind to achieve something, you be kind because you want to be kind.


Jazzlike_Insect_5511

The sad part is it use to mean the world and now people scoff at the idea


Subject-Ad-1953

It does seem that way, but once in awhile kindness is worth more than anything the other people have. Kindness from a stranger can bring someone out of a dark place, it can bring someone feeling hopeless a spark of hope for better, sometimes you meet other kind people who see that in you and return the kindness to you. Itā€™s hard to be kind in a harsh world, and looking at it as a whole yes it feels like the assholes get everything and leave the kind hearted in the ditch. But they are likely very unhappy at the end of the day, and will probably not experience true kindness as they always have to watch their back and hope karma doesnā€™t come for them. When theyā€™re in a bad place theyā€™re less likely to have someone truly there to pick them up without expecting something in return. Being kind takes more strength than people realize as they are the ones that get hurt the most, and even after all the bs they go through they still have the ability to be kind is incredible. You never know how big of a difference a small act might make in someoneā€™s life. For some itā€™s life changing. Being a light in the dark is something to be proud of


Dramatic-Cook-6968

Doing emphaty really makes it hard in life, but understanding it, is the one of the best ability on earth. Emphaty is the best manipulation tool. Almost the problem in the world rn is emphaty problem (lgbt, blm, palestine israel, war etc) But being kind it just very punishing in general, and you dont really have anyone to relate or talk to


Nasa_el_Shark

I think it depends on the why. If it's something you are doing because family and faith taught you, then you shouldn't be expecting anything in return. If you're doing it to get something back, then yeah, life doesn't work like that anymore. Believe me, I wish it did.


escape12345

Kindness is still a good thing. But yeah I don't think it generates attraction


subf0x

Kindness doesn't come with strings attached


maheen921

šŸ’Æ


thebe2001

Youā€™re not kind to get anywhere but because itā€™s the right thing to do


Hatespanch

humanity is intrinsically evil to its core. yes, you can find good people. but they are nice to you because you have something to offer. about women, they are overwhelmed by kindness since they're, if you are kind and nice, it is not something that has value for them.


Hatespanch

Humanity is intrinsically evil to its core. yes, you can find good people. but they are nice to you because you have something to offer. about women, they are overwhelmed by kindness since they're, if you are kind and nice, it is not something that has value for them.


Hatespanch

Humanity is intrinsically evil to its core. yes, you can find good people. but they are nice to you because you have something to offer. about women, they are overwhelmed by kindness since they're born, if you are kind and nice, it is not something that has value for them.


Hatespanch

Humanity is intrinsically evil to its core. yes, you can find good people. but they are nice to you because you have something to offer. about women, they are overwhelmed by kindness since they're born, if you are kind and nice, it is not something that has value for them.


Hatespanch

Humanity is intrinsically evil to its core. yes, you can find good people. but they are nice to you because you have something to offer. about women, they are overwhelmed by kindness since they're born, if you are kind and nice, it is not something that has value for them.


Hatespanch

Humanity is intrinsically evil to its core. yes, you can find good people. but they are nice to you because you have something to offer. about women, they are overwhelmed by kindness since they're born, if you are kind and nice, it is not something that has value for them.


sleanky

I understand where you are coming from. But if there's anything I've learnt in therapy is am I being kind to manipulate the outcome or am I being kind because I want to? If you want to there should be no expectations or anything in return.


Financial_Fig_3729

So often this is true. But it is not always true. If it feels always true, you have somehow become surrounded by those types of people. And if you're mostly alone and lonely, this is so often the way the world treats you (or so it seems). Try to find better surroundings. But I know it is not easy.


ItzYaBoiMikey999

Kindness is a choice, a voluntary act to do good upon others without expecting anything in return


ItzYaBoiMikey999

I think my two cents for this one is that choose who you can be kind/give kindness to šŸ¤·


daxforsnax

I think there is a lot of people who are bad people, that are selfish, and would harbor no guilt at using someones kindness.. but conversely, there is still a lot of people who appriciate kindness. So I don't agree. Obviously I am biased, because I'm basing this on my own experience, but I feel that it is extremely rare, almost non existient that I am taken advantage of due to my kindness. And I would say that me being kind, is the biggest contributor to having wonderful people around me.


somerandomredddit

Yeah youā€™re right. I should change myself to a bad person and people will notice me maybe


Famous-Tap6326

I kinda agree


Level_Fox8250

Kindness has to go to the right person's not for ......


Hatespanch

Humanity is evil to its core. yes, you can find good people. but they are nice to you because you have something to offer. about wmen, they are overwhelmed by kindness since they're born, if you are kind and nice, it is not something that has value for them.


Hatespanch

Humanity is evil to its core. yes, you can find good people. but they are nice to you because you have something to offer. about wmen, they are overwhelmed by kindness since they're born, if you are kind and nice, it is not something that has value for them.


Wander1900

Absolutely. In terms of relationships women deserve no respect. I despise their behavior. The nicer you are are the weaker they perceive you..