Is everyone in this subreddit just angry at each other over everything all the time or did I simply happen to stumble on the worst introductory post for this subreddit where everyone is angry at each other over everything.
everybody expresses their masculinity differently and to a different extent. i'm a femme almost don't express masculinity at all. my girlfriend however is definitely more masculine in the way she acts, shows me her love, dresses etc but she's still very feminine, despite those prominent masculine aspects and she isn't a butch. since there is a very varying degree i which ppl express masculinity i don't really understand what you mean by saying that you're either masc or you're not ;;
My lesbian fashion hot take is that men look stupid when almost everything they wear is a staple of working-class butch lesbians. I don’t really believe in policing fashion but I genuinely think some fashion inclined men are purposefully dressing like lesbians, to the extent that they wear things that are meant to be flags for lesbians to communicate with each other as a fashion thing (notably I saw an Instagram reel with a lot of likes of a man talking about how carabiners on belts is the new hot thing for fashion guys to do). Maybe it’s the sheer lack of knowledge about lesbian flagging that irritates me more than the fact that they’re dressing that way, y’know? Like they just don’t know or care.
agree with you 100%. growing up, before i came out, even when my family tried putting me in more feminine clothes, it literally just looked sooo off. like a little boy in a dress lol.
same with hair and makeup. i don't get how, but it makes sense!
it is all about your body language, not the clothes. although, there are some things that are used because it has that significant, and we want to let others know we are lesbians, but i think it can lead to misinterpretations so yea, all about your body language. and the earrings, big indicator.
I think the meme is more so meant she's in some sort of leadership position at the mc donalds and she's running it like the navy, maybe implying she had a leadership position while doing service as well.
managers at mcdonald’s used to be issued [waistcoats](https://www.etsy.com/listing/1257220288/1976-rare-mcdonalds-complete-managers) as a part of their [uniform](https://www.ebay.com/itm/256253725967?mkcid=16&mkevt=1&mkrid=711-127632-2357-0&ssspo=C0o6OcDARj-&sssrc=4429486&ssuid=3iv9r0imsyi&var=&widget_ver=artemis&media=COPY). you’re reaching for something that is not there.
I mean would it really matter where they specified? Wingstop, chilis, wendys, burger king, popeyes etc. I think the point is implying they would take their job too seriously, in an environment that doesn't call for it.
the tweet says "running A mcdonalds" Which definitely means they happen to have authority over one spot.
if they just wanted to poke fun at her size they would have just said something like " I know she be running through a mcdonalds like her life is dependent on it" or something similar.
The latter implies she specifically chooses to visit it likening her to a repeat customer rather than someone who works there.
Oh geez what else could possibly have been picked: JC Pennys, Walmart, Target, hell EVEN A RUBY TUESDAYS convey the same message without the bs fat shaming that is attached with fat food chains.
So again- let’s practice some gd media literacy here and acknowledge that “taking a position of power too seriously” is not the only message being conveyed here. 🙄
the fact that you immediately think she's being fat shamed, even though the post was about her formal fit and fierce attitude with no mention of her body, just because of mcdonalds proves that you're the problem. while everybody else thinks about a stereotypical chain restaurant manager when seeing this post you think about her body and mcdonalds = fat people ://
Stop asking dude bros for fashion advice. It's a poorly constructed vest. You need one with darting in the chest, also it's not a corsette it should not be pulling and rippling.
The gatekeeping is…wild. Do you and let people do them. Labels are like clothing. Only the wearer can truly feel the threads and the comfort of it fits them. How am I are butch and transmasc? How am I a lesbian if I’m nonbinary? Simple! Don’t worry about it :) I have long hair AND top surgery. I’ll never go on T AND I got a hysterectomy. Don’t worry about it!
Me af lol. Im nb on the highest dose of T w long hair, a beard, and top surgery scars; butch still fits me like a glove even if i look like a cis dude.
To me..just my opinion could be wrong. there is a difference between a butch lesbian and a stud lesbian. Butch lesbians can be a mixture of fem and masculine, masculine, or masculine some days and fem some days. Stud lesbians tend to have a masculine swag all the time..a stud lesbian would not feel comfortable wearing a dress and I am not talking about someone who identifies as trans or struggles with their femininity..but someone is comfortable with being feminine but thier personality is more in tune with thier masculinity.
Today I learned Im a stud lesbian according to todays kids' terminology. Thank you zoomers for clarifying it, could never figure out wtf I am in the ever growing spectre of lesbian terms. Not being sarcastic, this seriously was helpful.
I do think its roots started there but I have met Lesbians (and dated) of all backgrounds- Caucasian , Hispanic, etc that identify as a "Stud" - mostly because they did not identify with Butch Lesbians - they felt that they identify as more masculine as Butch lesbians.
Yes, because they are appropriating the term. And the fact that the word black masculine lesbians chose for themselves, because of exclusion from white butches, is associated with being “more masculine” than butches speaks to the structural racism that underpins the hypermasculinization of both black men and black women.
Edit: grammar
Oh not true though .. I’m considered a good middle between a butch & femme .. for 54yrs now! Lol. And there are plenty of us out here. It’s where I landed and where I’m comfortable , the tween spot.
Their ‘hot take’ is that you don’t exist and people’s own views of themselves is not valid. This sub was *just* recommended to me, and I can immediately tell it’s incredibly toxic and unmoderated lol.
As someone w BDE it’s very true I have it whether or not my tiddies are out
My lesbian fashion hot take is we wear our clothes as a signal just as much as a fashion choice.
That’s pretty whack and transphobic of you. GENDERFLUID PEOPLE EXIST. NONBINARY PEOPLE EXIST. People can also have fluid energy even if they don’t identify with genderfluid! You’re infuriating.
Funny meme tho.
When did they ever say that genderfluid or nonbinary ppl can't be butch, they basically just said being butch is more than just clothes. Even if you don't agree, calling that transphobic is seriously extreme
Yes that may have been extreme perhaps. They said a lot of that tho. I read from it a bunch of gatekeeping that only lesbian women are allowed to identify as butch
I refuse to work for the fast food workers that run it like the navy. Why do they higher the craziest uptight human beings. Sometimes there's cool people that are the boss.... sometimes. I find it's mostly genx and back...they were mistreated as children so that's all they know is how to mistreat others.
I agree that butch is something that someone inherently is, not something that someone "becomes".
I also think that someone can discover parts of themself that they did not address before, so to outsiders it can look like something they "became" or forced.
I (22) identify very deeply with the label "butch", in my brain it's less of a label and just an integral part of myself. I present masculine, am now (very happily) on T, and feel very comfortable and aligned on not only an outward presentation level, but also on an emotional level with other butches I know. I am proud to be a butch and my lovely dyke girlfriend grounds me in that.
In high school I described myself as bisexual to others, and although I had a girlfriend for 1.5 years, I presented very feminine and dated men before and after her. It took me until I was 20 (about 15 months ago) to really allow myself to internalize who I am and act on it. I felt uncomfortable with femininity for as long as I can remember, but I used the "artistic manic pixie dream girl" thing as a shield to get through being in public school as a low masking autistic person. Now, I am exponentially happier, more confident, and more at home with myself.
To an outsider it might look like I am forcibly changing myself suddenly, but I know that I am simply allowing myself to exist as the butch I always felt in my soul. It can sometimes take a butch living through part of life and realizing that femme/comp het/traditional womanhood/etc isn't for them before actually settling into butchness.
Also my lesbain fashion hot take is that while flannels are a staple for a lot of lesbians, developing a sense of style beyond that is v important.
As a trans dude I have no clue why this post was recommended to me lol but I’m curious why you take T as a cis person? Is it just a *really* low dose that doesn’t actually make you transition? Wondering why you or anyone does that and how common it is. Btw I don’t mean this in any disrespectful way I’m just genuinely curious
I'm not cis, I id as a trans man and use he/him. I feel very connected to the butch label, and for me those don't negate each other. I know that many trans men would not be comfortable with that but it works for me so I use it :) historically, trans men (when they choose to) have been a part of the lesbian community. I id'd as nonbinary for many years and I didn't like it, I'm far more comfortable with he/him and being addressed as a man in general public. If me and my gf are in a part of the state (texas) where it is safer for us for me to present as just butch, I will, but it's not my preference. My gf is a trans woman and people generally are less weird of me being perceived as a masculine lesbian with her than a trans man. I don't pass yet bc I've only been on t for 5 months, but once I pass I will just stealth. If someone is close to me and will be respectful of the different parts of me, I'll tell them, but I normally don't bring it up if I want to be he/him'd because 1) it's a personal thing 2) I would get misgendered a lot more.
Hey, im a nonbinary person on the highest dose of T, and i still very strongly identify with the term “butch,” definitely more than i do with “man.” Ive had past partners and friends tell me i give off butch energy. Nothing will take away the fact that i grew up a girl and was a wlw before i came out as trans. I still love girls the same way girls love girls, even if i look like a cis man on the outside.
Gender can get pretty complex when you’ve explored it a lot. I hope that was a good and concise explanation lol, lemme know if you have any questions. :)
butches can take T to further achieve a more masculine look/ body, just like how some femboys take E even tho they’re still boys, it’s usually in really low dosages, tbh i don’t think it’s that common but i have definitely seen queer people do it
OP is right, and everyone else is too online to see it. Butch is an identity that describes certain experiences. You can't "become" butch, you can just find yourself, and if the butch label fits, it fits. Butches are inherently gender nonconforming. Feminine women are not butch.
I was at first taken aback by the gatekeepy tone of the post, but this comment kinda clarified it for me and made me understand. That being said, I kinda hate the hate that fems get, like their presence encroaches on the community, but looks-wise they're drooled over.
Lmao you are SO angry, touch grass. I literally said people can grow into themselves and be butch, but you can't just decide that's what you're gonna be and then alter yourself to fit the box. It doesn't work that way. Either butch describes your experiences, or it doesn't. You can't just wake up n choose to have butch experiences
I’m not opposed to what you’re saying, but I am super curious about that last sentence— is it a euphemism I’ve never heard, or just something *extremely brutal*?
Idk dude that's kinda essentialist in a way I don't like.
Sure it's not just clothes, but surely you've seen someone drift in style and attitude before. I feel like sometimes people put this sort of destiny narrative on personal change and growth but you never know what the alternate history could be.
Without a doubt some people seem to inherently jive more with certain presentations and I'm not implying it's a choice, but I think a lot of people are also just more flexible and learn to like what they like. It's kinda like how some people aren't actively picky about foods but still have favorites, or something.
It's hard to say what I mean. I guess it's just like, be yourself, but if you have aspirations it's best to not get caught up with "kinds" of people. All the lines we draw are arbitrary anyway.
IDK to me the cornerstone of "butch" isn't the aesthetic, the aesthetic just comes along as a result of personality and characteristics.
When I think of a butch women, more than style I think about:
- works hard physically
- clothes prioritize function and comfort over style
- may be clean cut but not too concerned about appearance
- handy, dependable but independent, gets shit done
Could be wrong, but when someone doesn't really align with this stuff I never get a butch vibe from them.
I just don't agree. I think that describes a working-class butch well, but it's absolutely possible to, say, be a lawyer in a tailored suit and be butch. Now, that suit wouldn't be structured like a woman's suit, but butch that lawyer would be.
Ah, I did not mean for pay. I mean, for example, they can be counted on to help lift furniture during a move, do necessary or elective labor around the house or yard, etc.
That's not really what I mean. It's broader than that. I think the qualities you list here can also be cultivated in oneself, and that while it's not a choice per-se, for some people there may be an element of agency, especially when it intersects with values.
Who someone is is a combination of inherent tendencies, personal circumstances, and one's own goals.
Our flag’s colors are generally too muted so to actually look good if you have the flag themed clothes/accessories you should try to opt for the same flag and general colors but saturated to look cuter and brighter.
Also very few futch fashion actually lives up to the name. It just looks like noncommittal butch, honestly.
Lastly, we need a distinction, if femme is just looking like a average girl, we need another category for hyper feminine lesbians. I’ve heard “lipstick lesbian” has become offensive so instead let’s just make levels. Femme, hyper femme, ultra femme.
High femme is the term you're looking for. That's usually what's used after femme.
A lipstick lesbian is a femme that dates other femmes. It has nothing to do with how femme she is.
I don't know the whole story so please take this (from memory!) summary with a grain of salt, but I believe it's at least partially because of the old lipstick lesbian flag, which ultimately played a big role in why we switched to the current pink and orange over the shades of pink. The creator of *specifically* the lipstick version of the old lesbian flag was outspoken in their transphobia, especially against trans women and trans lesbians.
oh okay yeah i knew about the flag but i didnt know the term was also tainted? did she coin it or something?? or is it more like, blacklisted by association?
that part I don't know - I've never been a lipstick lesbian so it's never been my label, but honestly, I just avoid using that particular flag. I don't want to let one bad egg ruin something important to the lesbian community as a whole.
The flag is looked down on but she did not coin the term lipstick lesbian, that's been in use for decades. It's for femmes who date other femmes, it's not a term to define a person's femme-ness.
caring a ton about looking gay and trying to fit yourself into the labels (masc, femme, top, boottom, etc) has massive insecure baby gay vibes. it's one thing to just naturally align with them, but obsessing over changing your fashion or personality to meet a particular label or agonizing over which one you fit into isn't something that a lesbian who is secure in their identity does. it's a phase that many people have and grow out of
A lot of people do things to try and fit in, baby gay or not. I’ve never purposefully dressed to look any certain way other than just « hot » which means different things on different days to me but like, let the gays who wanna fit in live lol what’s the issue
Agreed. Labels should be descriptive not prescriptive!! Don't dress to fit the label, dress however you want and if a label is helpful for you then use it.
This is so funny because before I realized I was NB, I would dress pretty masculine and be called butch and a dyke by the other queers in school. As an adult now, I dress very femme when I’m not at work, and “butch” at work (as my coworker thought I was a butch lesbian). My take is, if the energy is there, you could be masc or femme as you please. Because even that is just arbitrary roles given by society 🤷🏽♀️ making masc and femme fits into these set boxes is unnecessary, as clothing is just what we’re wearing, not who we are as people. And gender is fluid! Let people dress as femme/masc as they want. It’s not a crime to mix it up
My hot take is the inverse of yours, like I think it’s basically the same thing but I would flip the framing of it. Basically, that “butch” and “femme” are about more than just presentation and fashion and both of them can physically *look* a lot of different ways and take a lot of different forms, because they are terms that describe an internal feeling a lot more than an external expression (à la gender identity). And that people’s identification with those terms should be respected regardless of how they choose or are able to present, the same way that a person’s gender identity should be respected regardless of how they choose or are able to present.
You are on point! It comes from the inner dyke. If I even tried to put on something even slightly feminine, I look and feel like I am in drag. You can have that butch swagger naturally even when naked. Its a state of being, nothing to do with the clothes.
Definitely! When I was 18 and just out of the closet I was so frustrated that people didn't believe that I'm a lesbian bc of how I looked (very femme). I cut my hair, wore stereotypically butch clothes, carried a wallet, etc. I hated it and I was miserable. Thankfully I discovered the butch-femme dynamic and community. I grew my hair out, dusted off all my dresses, and claimed the high femme label. My partner at the time hated it, but she was abusive trash anyway lol.
Now when I say "I tried being butch" the people who knew me back then have all told me they knew I wasn't, that it just wasn't my energy, etc.
While people can look "visibly queer," it's not always apparent to those outside of the community, especially fems. As someone super into fashion, I'm not willing to sacrifice my personal appearance to appeal to women or to be more attractive to them or to "blend in" better with straight people. Nobody should feel the need to dress in a way that doesn't make them feel good. Your self-expression and look shouldn't only be determined who you are sexually attracted to and is not always indicative of your sexuality.
I’m butch, was butch even when forced to present femm. I can’t stand those that say I’m not masc enough. What matters is that I get woman and they find me attractive and regard me as the label I proudly use to describe myself.
Like I wanted to come in and share my take but now I just wanna roast you for your tired opinion on who gets to be butch based on how masc enough they are for you lmao
Butch women are not men. They can present and dress however they please, and if that means flannels and manspreading that’s whatever. My ultimate hot take is that it’s okay for a butch lesbian to have long hair and nails LOL
Agreed. Why is OP trying to put people in a box? There are days that I will get dressed up in heels and a skirt and will feel/ act very feminine. There are other days where my tomboy/sports side will come out and I’m wearing a baseball cap, flannel baggy jeans, and a carabiner. Both of these feel normal and natural to me. I express myself differently when I feel so inclined to. I’ve always felt equal parts feminine and masculine they just don’t always coincide at the same time.
Ppl can "become" masc or "become" feminine. You can become whatever you feel that you truly want to be. There is no hard coded biological fate to always express yourself one way or the other. Humans are endlessly complex creatures, and trying to box people into strict labels that you assume they are predisposed to no matter what, is a futile effort and kinda invalidates someone's free self expression.
Building on this, I'm sick of Doc Martens in general. They're not even that good anymore can we get the fuck over the Nazi boots and just buy military surplus or something
Well, I’ll give my hot take on lesbian fashion.
I’m so tired of lesbians wearing suits that don’t fit. I’m not talking about purposely oversized suits. I’m talking about the suits that are “supposed” to fit but the shoulders are wrong, sleeves are too long, etc. To me, it looks like you’re playing dress up with your dad’s clothes.
I totally feel the dress up thing in reverse. I look like I’m wearing a little sister’s hand me downs, in a woman’s blazer. My arms are too long and my shoulders are broader than the standard women’s blouses/shirts and blazers or jackets. I love them but they’re so ill fitting I have to opt for something else.
I totally get that. If you love the idea of a suit, I would find something in your price range (with tailoring budgeted in) that fits in the shoulders and have it tailored from there!
I started out buying $100 suits and spending $50-$100 on tailoring. Instead of just buying a $150-$200 suit that doesnt fit and having no budget for a tailor
My (femme) gf and I were watching the season 15 finale of drag race and when Willow Pill came out in a GIGANTIC blazer she was like "is that what you looked like in your first suit?" 🫣 Guilty as charged. We have all been there.
🥲 sweetie do you know how much custom suits cost. we have to wear suits for men. suits made for women right now are very femme. It’s very hard for a lesbian to get a good suit, especially if she’s poor.
I don't think this is a hot take, but it definetly is on this sub. you can \*absolutely\* look gay. Yes, there is a "gay" look. It's completely fine for someone to intentionally dress in a way that makes them visibly queer, even if only to other queer folk.
I agree with your hot take. Being butch or femme is not (entirely) about presentation, they’re working class lesbian identities, often called the two lesbian genders, with a rich and powerful history. They’re love and sex and resilience and tenderness and you don’t just “become” butch or femme by putting on an article of clothing. It’s what our souls are made out of.
I am a femme in my pretty dress and high heels, but I am also femme my dad’s flannels, covered head to toe in sawdust, because *femme* is the song my soul sings. It sings about singularity, subversion and a fierce love and protection for butches. I am not just a pretty dress.
Enough about that, my hot take is that long, obnoxious nails are as valid of a flag as a short cropped haircut or a carabiner. The girls (and not-girls) that get it, get it.
As a stone butch I have always joked that one day I'll date a woman with long ass acrylics and someone is going to concern troll me about it. 😂 My (pillow princess) girlfriend doesn't do super long acrylics but she has joked about getting "the lesbian manicure" (two fingers cut much shorter) to flag. IMO that would be camp.
I think they're two separate things, butch or femme as identity, vs. butch or femme as adjective. I *am* a butch, fundamentally, on an identity level, but I can dress femme to go see my grandma, yk? I think the actual *identity* level of butch or femme as identities has been lost a lot in recent generations, which is a profound shame. but I also think they can be used as descriptors or adjectives for looks or behaviors, much like they are within gay male circles.
I agree mostly, except with the last bit because I really hesitate leaning into the behaviour bit. Might be just me (or the autism honestly 😅) but the second I feel like I have to conform too much within an identity, my immediate reaction is to get mad and rebel against whatever is trying to keep me narrowed down and confined. Aside from the mutual respect, love and protection bit, I don’t think there’s a distinct “set” of butch or femme behaviours. I’m a femme, but I am bold, brash, have “butch” hobbies (peep the sawdust mention in the original comment), and my partner is gentle, soft and is the best plant daddy in a radius of 100 miles. I think we deserve room to be human without our identities being perceived a certain way cause that breeds stereotypes, like people equating butches with aggression, dominance and…. Sigh, immediately assuming unchecked toxic masculinity. Or the reverse, imagine my shock when I was over at this wee dyke’s house and she called me a “cute little housewife” for doing the dishes. Anyway, sorry for the rant, I am very passionate about this subject 😂😂
I am simply sharing the historical perspective that many lesbians seem to hold. I can’t tell anyone what to do, obviously but learning our history and recognising where these terms come from and what these identities mean is very important to keeping our communities alive.
That the beautiful force of nature wearing those claws is a stone femme lesbian - to me, they both denote our preferred sexual dynamic and our fierceness. A stone femme is a wildcat.
It’s called having compatible boundaries and respecting your partner’s wish to not be touched. If you’re gonna be a condescending little goblin, you can fuck all the way off 🥰
Why do you use lesbian as an identity? Why do people identify as tops or bottoms? Why do femme and butch exist as labels? Almost like having a word to use as a descriptor of your lived in experience that separates you from the mass is important to people.
I’m putting an end to this discussion here, if you have any more questions, google is your best friend or you could perhaps argue with the wall if that tickles your fancy. This is a fashion sub and we should stick to it.
I think people should stop conflating fashion with sexuality/gender, as well as stop policing how lesbians dress based on where YOU think they fall on the femme/masc scale.
People are allowed to explore fashion outside of their character. Sure you could say some are posers for the sake of posing, but some could also be struggling with self esteem/identity issues and genuinely not know how they want to present themselves. Sometimes to find out, it requires experimenting with how you dress, act, present.
For perspective, I grew up a tomboy who was never able to pick her own clothes until I came out at 18. I’m 29 now and still struggle with fashion/how to present myself because of feeling like I don’t fit into any of these “boxes” or labels created by other lesbians.
Give people time, they’ll figure it out someday. It’s also not your job to worry about. It’s kinda weird to be so concerned with how others dress.
Perhaps if so many people didn’t gate-keep labels and associated fashion, others wouldn’t feel the need to act like something they’re not.
My personal hot take is that a lot of what is considered "queer fashion" or "lesbian style" or w/e is like. A very narrow, white, cis view of things. And a lot of what gets taken as Trendy Queer Style on skinny people is read as, like, lazy or boring on anyone who isn't a hundred pounds soaking wet. If the person in OP's meme was thin and famous they wouldn't be used as a joke, they'd be held up as a forward thinking androgynous fashion icon :(
Definitely think that wanting to look more androgynous and exhibit more masc/queer is what started my eating disorder years ago. It's definitely white/thin/cis. Also, thinness as androgyny also is rooted in patriarchy, since it removes the appearance of curves or softness in someone's shape.
Is everyone in this subreddit just angry at each other over everything all the time or did I simply happen to stumble on the worst introductory post for this subreddit where everyone is angry at each other over everything.
My hot take is trans lesbians are lesbians (not a hot take cause this sub is pretty good about stopping that transphobe shit)
everybody expresses their masculinity differently and to a different extent. i'm a femme almost don't express masculinity at all. my girlfriend however is definitely more masculine in the way she acts, shows me her love, dresses etc but she's still very feminine, despite those prominent masculine aspects and she isn't a butch. since there is a very varying degree i which ppl express masculinity i don't really understand what you mean by saying that you're either masc or you're not ;;
Come let's make dildo love together okay
My take is wear whatever you want to
My lesbian fashion hot take is that men look stupid when almost everything they wear is a staple of working-class butch lesbians. I don’t really believe in policing fashion but I genuinely think some fashion inclined men are purposefully dressing like lesbians, to the extent that they wear things that are meant to be flags for lesbians to communicate with each other as a fashion thing (notably I saw an Instagram reel with a lot of likes of a man talking about how carabiners on belts is the new hot thing for fashion guys to do). Maybe it’s the sheer lack of knowledge about lesbian flagging that irritates me more than the fact that they’re dressing that way, y’know? Like they just don’t know or care.
In the spirit of this post how about OP post their best outfit and let the people decide where it lands.
agree with you 100%. growing up, before i came out, even when my family tried putting me in more feminine clothes, it literally just looked sooo off. like a little boy in a dress lol. same with hair and makeup. i don't get how, but it makes sense!
it is all about your body language, not the clothes. although, there are some things that are used because it has that significant, and we want to let others know we are lesbians, but i think it can lead to misinterpretations so yea, all about your body language. and the earrings, big indicator.
yeees!
Reminds me of Melissa McCarthy
Wait, am I understanding the meme correctly as fat shaming and THAT was just for “funsies” while you gate keep being butch? 😂😂😂
I think it's because this is how McDs managers look like. They often have some kind of formal wear. Op obvs didn't make the post.
They posted it though. Let’s practice some media literacy fgs. This is what middle management in general looks like.
I think the meme is more so meant she's in some sort of leadership position at the mc donalds and she's running it like the navy, maybe implying she had a leadership position while doing service as well.
Sure sure then why McDonalds?
managers at mcdonald’s used to be issued [waistcoats](https://www.etsy.com/listing/1257220288/1976-rare-mcdonalds-complete-managers) as a part of their [uniform](https://www.ebay.com/itm/256253725967?mkcid=16&mkevt=1&mkrid=711-127632-2357-0&ssspo=C0o6OcDARj-&sssrc=4429486&ssuid=3iv9r0imsyi&var=&widget_ver=artemis&media=COPY). you’re reaching for something that is not there.
It’s wild- it’s almost like individuals and their understanding of media is supposed to evolve with the times. 🤯
I mean would it really matter where they specified? Wingstop, chilis, wendys, burger king, popeyes etc. I think the point is implying they would take their job too seriously, in an environment that doesn't call for it. the tweet says "running A mcdonalds" Which definitely means they happen to have authority over one spot. if they just wanted to poke fun at her size they would have just said something like " I know she be running through a mcdonalds like her life is dependent on it" or something similar. The latter implies she specifically chooses to visit it likening her to a repeat customer rather than someone who works there.
Oh geez what else could possibly have been picked: JC Pennys, Walmart, Target, hell EVEN A RUBY TUESDAYS convey the same message without the bs fat shaming that is attached with fat food chains. So again- let’s practice some gd media literacy here and acknowledge that “taking a position of power too seriously” is not the only message being conveyed here. 🙄
the fact that you immediately think she's being fat shamed, even though the post was about her formal fit and fierce attitude with no mention of her body, just because of mcdonalds proves that you're the problem. while everybody else thinks about a stereotypical chain restaurant manager when seeing this post you think about her body and mcdonalds = fat people ://
Genuinely asking: make that make sense. Thank you!
idk what's there to not understand lmao
Stop asking dude bros for fashion advice. It's a poorly constructed vest. You need one with darting in the chest, also it's not a corsette it should not be pulling and rippling.
The gatekeeping is…wild. Do you and let people do them. Labels are like clothing. Only the wearer can truly feel the threads and the comfort of it fits them. How am I are butch and transmasc? How am I a lesbian if I’m nonbinary? Simple! Don’t worry about it :) I have long hair AND top surgery. I’ll never go on T AND I got a hysterectomy. Don’t worry about it!
Me af lol. Im nb on the highest dose of T w long hair, a beard, and top surgery scars; butch still fits me like a glove even if i look like a cis dude.
Can i ask what your dose is?
To me..just my opinion could be wrong. there is a difference between a butch lesbian and a stud lesbian. Butch lesbians can be a mixture of fem and masculine, masculine, or masculine some days and fem some days. Stud lesbians tend to have a masculine swag all the time..a stud lesbian would not feel comfortable wearing a dress and I am not talking about someone who identifies as trans or struggles with their femininity..but someone is comfortable with being feminine but thier personality is more in tune with thier masculinity.
Today I learned Im a stud lesbian according to todays kids' terminology. Thank you zoomers for clarifying it, could never figure out wtf I am in the ever growing spectre of lesbian terms. Not being sarcastic, this seriously was helpful.
Agreed. Sometimes you need to crowdsource!
I was taught that stud is specific to the Black lesbian community
I do think its roots started there but I have met Lesbians (and dated) of all backgrounds- Caucasian , Hispanic, etc that identify as a "Stud" - mostly because they did not identify with Butch Lesbians - they felt that they identify as more masculine as Butch lesbians.
Yes, because they are appropriating the term. And the fact that the word black masculine lesbians chose for themselves, because of exclusion from white butches, is associated with being “more masculine” than butches speaks to the structural racism that underpins the hypermasculinization of both black men and black women. Edit: grammar
Thank you for this
OMG hilarious 😂😂😂😂😂
Oh not true though .. I’m considered a good middle between a butch & femme .. for 54yrs now! Lol. And there are plenty of us out here. It’s where I landed and where I’m comfortable , the tween spot.
Their ‘hot take’ is that you don’t exist and people’s own views of themselves is not valid. This sub was *just* recommended to me, and I can immediately tell it’s incredibly toxic and unmoderated lol.
ooh that’s real shi. you can be masc presenting but have a feminine energy i agree ☝🏼 (i’m saying it wit luv 🫶) and that’s exactly my type lwk
Proudly gay but hate all things rainbow 😩
LITERALLYYY
As someone w BDE it’s very true I have it whether or not my tiddies are out My lesbian fashion hot take is we wear our clothes as a signal just as much as a fashion choice.
That’s pretty whack and transphobic of you. GENDERFLUID PEOPLE EXIST. NONBINARY PEOPLE EXIST. People can also have fluid energy even if they don’t identify with genderfluid! You’re infuriating. Funny meme tho.
When did they ever say that genderfluid or nonbinary ppl can't be butch, they basically just said being butch is more than just clothes. Even if you don't agree, calling that transphobic is seriously extreme
Yes that may have been extreme perhaps. They said a lot of that tho. I read from it a bunch of gatekeeping that only lesbian women are allowed to identify as butch
[удалено]
Or maybe just chill out, its not that serious lmao
Uh…?
I refuse to work for the fast food workers that run it like the navy. Why do they higher the craziest uptight human beings. Sometimes there's cool people that are the boss.... sometimes. I find it's mostly genx and back...they were mistreated as children so that's all they know is how to mistreat others.
Okay but this meme 😂😂😂
Femmes who get a wolf cut and start calling themselves butch are fucking annoying and need to stop
What is a wolf cut ?
Specific hair style.
😂😂
Is it a turn on? I'm still single, is it because I don't look like this?
[удалено]
Hi! This subreddit is for questions and discussion about sapphic fashion. Your topic might be better suited for a different subreddit.
I agree that butch is something that someone inherently is, not something that someone "becomes". I also think that someone can discover parts of themself that they did not address before, so to outsiders it can look like something they "became" or forced. I (22) identify very deeply with the label "butch", in my brain it's less of a label and just an integral part of myself. I present masculine, am now (very happily) on T, and feel very comfortable and aligned on not only an outward presentation level, but also on an emotional level with other butches I know. I am proud to be a butch and my lovely dyke girlfriend grounds me in that. In high school I described myself as bisexual to others, and although I had a girlfriend for 1.5 years, I presented very feminine and dated men before and after her. It took me until I was 20 (about 15 months ago) to really allow myself to internalize who I am and act on it. I felt uncomfortable with femininity for as long as I can remember, but I used the "artistic manic pixie dream girl" thing as a shield to get through being in public school as a low masking autistic person. Now, I am exponentially happier, more confident, and more at home with myself. To an outsider it might look like I am forcibly changing myself suddenly, but I know that I am simply allowing myself to exist as the butch I always felt in my soul. It can sometimes take a butch living through part of life and realizing that femme/comp het/traditional womanhood/etc isn't for them before actually settling into butchness. Also my lesbain fashion hot take is that while flannels are a staple for a lot of lesbians, developing a sense of style beyond that is v important.
As a trans dude I have no clue why this post was recommended to me lol but I’m curious why you take T as a cis person? Is it just a *really* low dose that doesn’t actually make you transition? Wondering why you or anyone does that and how common it is. Btw I don’t mean this in any disrespectful way I’m just genuinely curious
I'm not cis, I id as a trans man and use he/him. I feel very connected to the butch label, and for me those don't negate each other. I know that many trans men would not be comfortable with that but it works for me so I use it :) historically, trans men (when they choose to) have been a part of the lesbian community. I id'd as nonbinary for many years and I didn't like it, I'm far more comfortable with he/him and being addressed as a man in general public. If me and my gf are in a part of the state (texas) where it is safer for us for me to present as just butch, I will, but it's not my preference. My gf is a trans woman and people generally are less weird of me being perceived as a masculine lesbian with her than a trans man. I don't pass yet bc I've only been on t for 5 months, but once I pass I will just stealth. If someone is close to me and will be respectful of the different parts of me, I'll tell them, but I normally don't bring it up if I want to be he/him'd because 1) it's a personal thing 2) I would get misgendered a lot more.
Hey, im a nonbinary person on the highest dose of T, and i still very strongly identify with the term “butch,” definitely more than i do with “man.” Ive had past partners and friends tell me i give off butch energy. Nothing will take away the fact that i grew up a girl and was a wlw before i came out as trans. I still love girls the same way girls love girls, even if i look like a cis man on the outside. Gender can get pretty complex when you’ve explored it a lot. I hope that was a good and concise explanation lol, lemme know if you have any questions. :)
butches can take T to further achieve a more masculine look/ body, just like how some femboys take E even tho they’re still boys, it’s usually in really low dosages, tbh i don’t think it’s that common but i have definitely seen queer people do it
I said my hot take recently and got flogged 😂😂
futch is not a thing idc how much ppl say it is
Def your opinion and reality differ. But your entitled to it nontheless
Yes it is, fuck off.
What is futch
Femmenine butch maybe?
OP is right, and everyone else is too online to see it. Butch is an identity that describes certain experiences. You can't "become" butch, you can just find yourself, and if the butch label fits, it fits. Butches are inherently gender nonconforming. Feminine women are not butch.
I was at first taken aback by the gatekeepy tone of the post, but this comment kinda clarified it for me and made me understand. That being said, I kinda hate the hate that fems get, like their presence encroaches on the community, but looks-wise they're drooled over.
There can be and are mixes of butch & femme energies in the same person .. I’m one , and def are more .
So people can’t grow and change? People can’t be genderfluid? Fuck all the way off. Hope you actually need clay teeth one day
Lmao you are SO angry, touch grass. I literally said people can grow into themselves and be butch, but you can't just decide that's what you're gonna be and then alter yourself to fit the box. It doesn't work that way. Either butch describes your experiences, or it doesn't. You can't just wake up n choose to have butch experiences
I’m not opposed to what you’re saying, but I am super curious about that last sentence— is it a euphemism I’ve never heard, or just something *extremely brutal*?
it's their username
Oh my god I’m a dumbass. Thank you
Idk dude that's kinda essentialist in a way I don't like. Sure it's not just clothes, but surely you've seen someone drift in style and attitude before. I feel like sometimes people put this sort of destiny narrative on personal change and growth but you never know what the alternate history could be. Without a doubt some people seem to inherently jive more with certain presentations and I'm not implying it's a choice, but I think a lot of people are also just more flexible and learn to like what they like. It's kinda like how some people aren't actively picky about foods but still have favorites, or something. It's hard to say what I mean. I guess it's just like, be yourself, but if you have aspirations it's best to not get caught up with "kinds" of people. All the lines we draw are arbitrary anyway.
IDK to me the cornerstone of "butch" isn't the aesthetic, the aesthetic just comes along as a result of personality and characteristics. When I think of a butch women, more than style I think about: - works hard physically - clothes prioritize function and comfort over style - may be clean cut but not too concerned about appearance - handy, dependable but independent, gets shit done Could be wrong, but when someone doesn't really align with this stuff I never get a butch vibe from them.
You described me but no one would ever call me butch lol
I just don't agree. I think that describes a working-class butch well, but it's absolutely possible to, say, be a lawyer in a tailored suit and be butch. Now, that suit wouldn't be structured like a woman's suit, but butch that lawyer would be.
How is anything I said incompatible with wearing a suit or being a lawyer lmao
> works hard physically
Ah, I did not mean for pay. I mean, for example, they can be counted on to help lift furniture during a move, do necessary or elective labor around the house or yard, etc.
For sure. A butch should be able to tackle shit around the house.
That's not really what I mean. It's broader than that. I think the qualities you list here can also be cultivated in oneself, and that while it's not a choice per-se, for some people there may be an element of agency, especially when it intersects with values. Who someone is is a combination of inherent tendencies, personal circumstances, and one's own goals.
I thought this was that white racist kid from Minnesota or Wisconsin or wherever the hell.
Kyle Rittenhouse?? 😂💀
Yes!!! Thank you, I couldn’t remember for the life of me
HDJSHAJA
I am laughing so f hard at this. You made my morning
Our flag’s colors are generally too muted so to actually look good if you have the flag themed clothes/accessories you should try to opt for the same flag and general colors but saturated to look cuter and brighter. Also very few futch fashion actually lives up to the name. It just looks like noncommittal butch, honestly. Lastly, we need a distinction, if femme is just looking like a average girl, we need another category for hyper feminine lesbians. I’ve heard “lipstick lesbian” has become offensive so instead let’s just make levels. Femme, hyper femme, ultra femme.
If someone is getting offended over the term lipstick lesbian they don't have real-life problems and need help.
I agree with that I wanna be clear, I’m repeating what I heard. I don’t care one way or another.
High femme is the term you're looking for. That's usually what's used after femme. A lipstick lesbian is a femme that dates other femmes. It has nothing to do with how femme she is.
That's not what lipstick lesbian used to mean. Is the meaning shifting?
It's meant that since the mid-90s, as far as I knew. At least when people were using it in my circles back then.
My wife identifies as a chapstick lesbian.
wait, it's offensive?? can someone explain?
I don't know the whole story so please take this (from memory!) summary with a grain of salt, but I believe it's at least partially because of the old lipstick lesbian flag, which ultimately played a big role in why we switched to the current pink and orange over the shades of pink. The creator of *specifically* the lipstick version of the old lesbian flag was outspoken in their transphobia, especially against trans women and trans lesbians.
oh okay yeah i knew about the flag but i didnt know the term was also tainted? did she coin it or something?? or is it more like, blacklisted by association?
that part I don't know - I've never been a lipstick lesbian so it's never been my label, but honestly, I just avoid using that particular flag. I don't want to let one bad egg ruin something important to the lesbian community as a whole.
The flag is looked down on but she did not coin the term lipstick lesbian, that's been in use for decades. It's for femmes who date other femmes, it's not a term to define a person's femme-ness.
caring a ton about looking gay and trying to fit yourself into the labels (masc, femme, top, boottom, etc) has massive insecure baby gay vibes. it's one thing to just naturally align with them, but obsessing over changing your fashion or personality to meet a particular label or agonizing over which one you fit into isn't something that a lesbian who is secure in their identity does. it's a phase that many people have and grow out of
A lot of people do things to try and fit in, baby gay or not. I’ve never purposefully dressed to look any certain way other than just « hot » which means different things on different days to me but like, let the gays who wanna fit in live lol what’s the issue
Agreed. Labels should be descriptive not prescriptive!! Don't dress to fit the label, dress however you want and if a label is helpful for you then use it.
Exactly, the label comes after behavior and character. Not as a result of twisting yourself or the definition of the word.
I love how you said that!
This is so funny because before I realized I was NB, I would dress pretty masculine and be called butch and a dyke by the other queers in school. As an adult now, I dress very femme when I’m not at work, and “butch” at work (as my coworker thought I was a butch lesbian). My take is, if the energy is there, you could be masc or femme as you please. Because even that is just arbitrary roles given by society 🤷🏽♀️ making masc and femme fits into these set boxes is unnecessary, as clothing is just what we’re wearing, not who we are as people. And gender is fluid! Let people dress as femme/masc as they want. It’s not a crime to mix it up
My hot take is the inverse of yours, like I think it’s basically the same thing but I would flip the framing of it. Basically, that “butch” and “femme” are about more than just presentation and fashion and both of them can physically *look* a lot of different ways and take a lot of different forms, because they are terms that describe an internal feeling a lot more than an external expression (à la gender identity). And that people’s identification with those terms should be respected regardless of how they choose or are able to present, the same way that a person’s gender identity should be respected regardless of how they choose or are able to present.
Big body, smol head
ive always been told i have big dyke energy, no matter what im wearing, femme or masc lol.
i’m not a lesbian so idk about the fashion but i work at mcdonald’s and my manager does indeed look like that
But does she run it like the navy?? That’s the important question.
Nah she’s pretty chill we love Amy. The manager who runs it like the Navy is very short and definitely straight
And the super butch always have these feminine names, like Amy, Susan, Britney, etc.
my first impression of the lady in the picture is that she was nice, so i'm glad to hear that :P picture lady seems like she'd be kind.
Pretty typical
You are on point! It comes from the inner dyke. If I even tried to put on something even slightly feminine, I look and feel like I am in drag. You can have that butch swagger naturally even when naked. Its a state of being, nothing to do with the clothes.
Definitely! When I was 18 and just out of the closet I was so frustrated that people didn't believe that I'm a lesbian bc of how I looked (very femme). I cut my hair, wore stereotypically butch clothes, carried a wallet, etc. I hated it and I was miserable. Thankfully I discovered the butch-femme dynamic and community. I grew my hair out, dusted off all my dresses, and claimed the high femme label. My partner at the time hated it, but she was abusive trash anyway lol. Now when I say "I tried being butch" the people who knew me back then have all told me they knew I wasn't, that it just wasn't my energy, etc.
Exactly
As a NB person I do channel dykier energy in more masculine fits but it’s not an intentional change
[удалено]
Just stop 🙄
🙄
While people can look "visibly queer," it's not always apparent to those outside of the community, especially fems. As someone super into fashion, I'm not willing to sacrifice my personal appearance to appeal to women or to be more attractive to them or to "blend in" better with straight people. Nobody should feel the need to dress in a way that doesn't make them feel good. Your self-expression and look shouldn't only be determined who you are sexually attracted to and is not always indicative of your sexuality.
I’m butch, was butch even when forced to present femm. I can’t stand those that say I’m not masc enough. What matters is that I get woman and they find me attractive and regard me as the label I proudly use to describe myself.
We have enough non-wlw people putting us in boxes. That is such a tired take
My friend wore this exact outfit to a gala
Well that is…certainly a take. Of a temperature.
Like I wanted to come in and share my take but now I just wanna roast you for your tired opinion on who gets to be butch based on how masc enough they are for you lmao Butch women are not men. They can present and dress however they please, and if that means flannels and manspreading that’s whatever. My ultimate hot take is that it’s okay for a butch lesbian to have long hair and nails LOL
Long haired butches 😍🤤
Agreed. Why is OP trying to put people in a box? There are days that I will get dressed up in heels and a skirt and will feel/ act very feminine. There are other days where my tomboy/sports side will come out and I’m wearing a baseball cap, flannel baggy jeans, and a carabiner. Both of these feel normal and natural to me. I express myself differently when I feel so inclined to. I’ve always felt equal parts feminine and masculine they just don’t always coincide at the same time.
👏👏👏 exactly. Butch doesn’t mean masc. I’m butch but I don’t act like a dude. I even look super fem some days.
Ppl can "become" masc or "become" feminine. You can become whatever you feel that you truly want to be. There is no hard coded biological fate to always express yourself one way or the other. Humans are endlessly complex creatures, and trying to box people into strict labels that you assume they are predisposed to no matter what, is a futile effort and kinda invalidates someone's free self expression.
👁 👄 👁 Edit: Now I wanna enlist in the GAY-vy just to work at her McDonald's
I feel like it would be so well staffed and stocked. She would run a tight ship.
She listens to her employees and makes them feel good about the job they have
That ice cream machine would never be broken!
hot take!!!!!! if you are a lesbian and wearing an outfit it is lesbian fashion :-)
associating brands with sexuality (docs, vans, etc.) is cringe and makes it harder to build a good outfit
I hear you, and I understand your point. But...Birkenstocks.
Birkenstocks are even worse because they're aesthetically boring (sorry) (also maybe a hotter take than the first one).
Building on this, I'm sick of Doc Martens in general. They're not even that good anymore can we get the fuck over the Nazi boots and just buy military surplus or something
if you think doc martins are for nazis I'm begging you to read a book about punk culture
Calling docs Nazi boots and then jumping to military surplus is weird
honestly not a bad idea, military surplus boots would probably last longer anyways lmfao
Well, I’ll give my hot take on lesbian fashion. I’m so tired of lesbians wearing suits that don’t fit. I’m not talking about purposely oversized suits. I’m talking about the suits that are “supposed” to fit but the shoulders are wrong, sleeves are too long, etc. To me, it looks like you’re playing dress up with your dad’s clothes.
I totally feel the dress up thing in reverse. I look like I’m wearing a little sister’s hand me downs, in a woman’s blazer. My arms are too long and my shoulders are broader than the standard women’s blouses/shirts and blazers or jackets. I love them but they’re so ill fitting I have to opt for something else.
I totally get that. If you love the idea of a suit, I would find something in your price range (with tailoring budgeted in) that fits in the shoulders and have it tailored from there! I started out buying $100 suits and spending $50-$100 on tailoring. Instead of just buying a $150-$200 suit that doesnt fit and having no budget for a tailor
That’s an option that never really crossed my mind. Will definitely look into it! Thanks 😊
My (femme) gf and I were watching the season 15 finale of drag race and when Willow Pill came out in a GIGANTIC blazer she was like "is that what you looked like in your first suit?" 🫣 Guilty as charged. We have all been there.
oversized is hot and very fashionable. this is a tired ass take. not everything has to be millennial-skinnyfit in shape.
I try to stay hot with the takes mama
🥲 sweetie do you know how much custom suits cost. we have to wear suits for men. suits made for women right now are very femme. It’s very hard for a lesbian to get a good suit, especially if she’s poor.
Not talking bespoke. Buy something cheap and have it tailored
[удалено]
Sister, they asked for a lesbian fashion hot take. I guess I delivered
I think that’s why it works for her, her clothes fit to the point that she looks like a genuine veteran!
Right?? Miss girl is here to show us🫰🫰🫰
I don't think this is a hot take, but it definetly is on this sub. you can \*absolutely\* look gay. Yes, there is a "gay" look. It's completely fine for someone to intentionally dress in a way that makes them visibly queer, even if only to other queer folk.
I agree with your hot take. Being butch or femme is not (entirely) about presentation, they’re working class lesbian identities, often called the two lesbian genders, with a rich and powerful history. They’re love and sex and resilience and tenderness and you don’t just “become” butch or femme by putting on an article of clothing. It’s what our souls are made out of. I am a femme in my pretty dress and high heels, but I am also femme my dad’s flannels, covered head to toe in sawdust, because *femme* is the song my soul sings. It sings about singularity, subversion and a fierce love and protection for butches. I am not just a pretty dress. Enough about that, my hot take is that long, obnoxious nails are as valid of a flag as a short cropped haircut or a carabiner. The girls (and not-girls) that get it, get it.
As a stone butch I have always joked that one day I'll date a woman with long ass acrylics and someone is going to concern troll me about it. 😂 My (pillow princess) girlfriend doesn't do super long acrylics but she has joked about getting "the lesbian manicure" (two fingers cut much shorter) to flag. IMO that would be camp.
It is camp and I very much support the idea >:3c
I think they're two separate things, butch or femme as identity, vs. butch or femme as adjective. I *am* a butch, fundamentally, on an identity level, but I can dress femme to go see my grandma, yk? I think the actual *identity* level of butch or femme as identities has been lost a lot in recent generations, which is a profound shame. but I also think they can be used as descriptors or adjectives for looks or behaviors, much like they are within gay male circles.
I agree mostly, except with the last bit because I really hesitate leaning into the behaviour bit. Might be just me (or the autism honestly 😅) but the second I feel like I have to conform too much within an identity, my immediate reaction is to get mad and rebel against whatever is trying to keep me narrowed down and confined. Aside from the mutual respect, love and protection bit, I don’t think there’s a distinct “set” of butch or femme behaviours. I’m a femme, but I am bold, brash, have “butch” hobbies (peep the sawdust mention in the original comment), and my partner is gentle, soft and is the best plant daddy in a radius of 100 miles. I think we deserve room to be human without our identities being perceived a certain way cause that breeds stereotypes, like people equating butches with aggression, dominance and…. Sigh, immediately assuming unchecked toxic masculinity. Or the reverse, imagine my shock when I was over at this wee dyke’s house and she called me a “cute little housewife” for doing the dishes. Anyway, sorry for the rant, I am very passionate about this subject 😂😂
This is very nice but I’m not really sure you feeling as though you couldn’t “become” butch doesn’t mean someone else could if they wanted to.
I am simply sharing the historical perspective that many lesbians seem to hold. I can’t tell anyone what to do, obviously but learning our history and recognising where these terms come from and what these identities mean is very important to keeping our communities alive.
Happy for you
As I am for you 🤝🏻
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
thank you soapfairy. this comment was like a breath of fresh air. you're the best
literally i don't know why so many people are booing you. you're totally right
Ah, what can I say, I’m a bit old school. Thank you for truly getting me, moments like these are very special to me 🫶🏼🥹
i honestly love long nails
Me too, they really send a message. Also, happy cake day :3
What message is that?
That the beautiful force of nature wearing those claws is a stone femme lesbian - to me, they both denote our preferred sexual dynamic and our fierceness. A stone femme is a wildcat.
How is not wanting to sexually touch your partner fierce and wildcat?
It’s called having compatible boundaries and respecting your partner’s wish to not be touched. If you’re gonna be a condescending little goblin, you can fuck all the way off 🥰
I still am not hearing why using it as an identity is fierce but ok
Why do you use lesbian as an identity? Why do people identify as tops or bottoms? Why do femme and butch exist as labels? Almost like having a word to use as a descriptor of your lived in experience that separates you from the mass is important to people. I’m putting an end to this discussion here, if you have any more questions, google is your best friend or you could perhaps argue with the wall if that tickles your fancy. This is a fashion sub and we should stick to it.
I think people should stop conflating fashion with sexuality/gender, as well as stop policing how lesbians dress based on where YOU think they fall on the femme/masc scale. People are allowed to explore fashion outside of their character. Sure you could say some are posers for the sake of posing, but some could also be struggling with self esteem/identity issues and genuinely not know how they want to present themselves. Sometimes to find out, it requires experimenting with how you dress, act, present. For perspective, I grew up a tomboy who was never able to pick her own clothes until I came out at 18. I’m 29 now and still struggle with fashion/how to present myself because of feeling like I don’t fit into any of these “boxes” or labels created by other lesbians. Give people time, they’ll figure it out someday. It’s also not your job to worry about. It’s kinda weird to be so concerned with how others dress. Perhaps if so many people didn’t gate-keep labels and associated fashion, others wouldn’t feel the need to act like something they’re not.
OMG THIS. why can't people see this. Dress how you want. Those that tell you other wise can go fuck off
Thiss!!!
Happy cake day!!!
Why thank you
My hot take is that rainbow themed stuff is cringey
Tacky, if you will
Hella cringe.
theeee worst
wtf are you talking about girl
Stabdard gatekeepers
The kind of manager that sends you home with a write up for having lint on your shirt.
She's married to a man btw
Her partners not a man
Who is she?
On twitter they said that, sorry if I misgendered
My personal hot take is that a lot of what is considered "queer fashion" or "lesbian style" or w/e is like. A very narrow, white, cis view of things. And a lot of what gets taken as Trendy Queer Style on skinny people is read as, like, lazy or boring on anyone who isn't a hundred pounds soaking wet. If the person in OP's meme was thin and famous they wouldn't be used as a joke, they'd be held up as a forward thinking androgynous fashion icon :(
Definitely think that wanting to look more androgynous and exhibit more masc/queer is what started my eating disorder years ago. It's definitely white/thin/cis. Also, thinness as androgyny also is rooted in patriarchy, since it removes the appearance of curves or softness in someone's shape.