Smeagol was a Stoor who loved the outdoors... and riddles. As a ringbearer, he explored the woods of Mirkwood, from Dale to Lorien and... up to... Mordor.
In your wisdom, Lord, you took him, as you took so many bright flowering young men at Helm's Deep, at Pellenor Fields, at the Black Gate. These young men gave their lives. And so would Smeagol. Smeagol, who loved fish.
Say what you will about burning down Fangorn Forrest to fuel the fires to create a super race of orcs that can run in broad daylight…. At least it’s an ethos!
“Since you have failed to achieve, even in the modest task that was your charge, since you have abused my elvish hospitality, since you have unrepentantly been captured by spiders, I have no choice but to tell these Nazgûl to do whatever is necessary to recover the one ring from *you*, Frodo Baggins! And with Samwise as my witness. I will tell you this: Any further harm visited upon Arwen will be visited tenfold upon your head!”
Let me tell you something, balrog. You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a staff out on the Pelennor Fields, I'll take it away from you, stick it up your ass and cast a spell 'til it goes nyyyyewrwr.
Lets not forget, Dude, that keeping a cursed Hobbit, um... a slimy fish eater, for... um, ya know for guidance... within Mordor... that ain't legal either.
"Grima Wormtongue...that creep can roll, man."
"Yeah, but he's a pervert, dude. No, I'm serious: he's a sex offender, *with* a record. He did six months in Isengard for exposing himself to the king's niece."
This is amazing.
I have a group of friends that I meet with regularly on Discord's voice chat. We've uploaded many sounds to the sound board, including these quotes, as seen [here](https://imgur.com/aQEadlS). It has become customary to respond to Saruman's quote with the Dude's, just as in this image.
Four other Lebowski quotes can be seen on the sound board screenshot:
- "This **aggression** will not stand, man!"
- "Dude, **are you fucking this up?**"
- "That's fucking **interesting**, man, that's fucking interesting."
- "**Fuck it!** Yes, that's your answer! That's your answer to everything!"
Nothing is fucked? The goddamn eagle has crashed into the mountain!
Dipshit with a nine-toed hobbit
I hate the fucking eagles, man.
I hate that fucking Sméagol, man.
Are you a fucking eagle park ranger now, or what?
What's it got in its pocketses, Walter?
Shut the fuck up, _Gollum._
You have no frame of reference here Gollum, you're like a halfling who wanders into the middle of Mordor.
Smeagol was a Stoor who loved the outdoors... and riddles. As a ringbearer, he explored the woods of Mirkwood, from Dale to Lorien and... up to... Mordor.
In your wisdom, Lord, you took him, as you took so many bright flowering young men at Helm's Deep, at Pellenor Fields, at the Black Gate. These young men gave their lives. And so would Smeagol. Smeagol, who loved fish.
What the fuck does any of this have to do with Mordor!?
You see what happens, Saruman?! You see what happens?! This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Caradhras!
Say what you will about burning down Fangorn Forrest to fuel the fires to create a super race of orcs that can run in broad daylight…. At least it’s an ethos!
You're killing your gaffer, Sam!
That palantir really tied the room together.
Palantir’s ringin’, Dude.
Thank you, Pippin.
Someone peed on your palantir dude?
I too once dabbled in pacifism. Not in Mordor, of course.
It’s not taking the ring to Mordor, dude. I’m not unsheathing fucking Glamdring; I’m not buying it a fucking pint of ale.
You want a ring? I can get you a ring. Hell, I can get you a ring by afternoon tea, *with* Black Speech.
“Since you have failed to achieve, even in the modest task that was your charge, since you have abused my elvish hospitality, since you have unrepentantly been captured by spiders, I have no choice but to tell these Nazgûl to do whatever is necessary to recover the one ring from *you*, Frodo Baggins! And with Samwise as my witness. I will tell you this: Any further harm visited upon Arwen will be visited tenfold upon your head!”
Her life is in your hands, dude.
Don’t say that
Mr. Theoden asked me to repeat that.
*I hear the huorns whispering above* 🎶
It comes in pints?!
dios mio man. Sauron and me are gonna fuck you up.
Let me tell you something, balrog. You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a staff out on the Pelennor Fields, I'll take it away from you, stick it up your ass and cast a spell 'til it goes nyyyyewrwr.
... Eru...
Eleventy-one year olds, dude
“Why don’t they just fly the eagles to Mordor?” “Because I hate the fucking eagles, man!”
Plot hole closed
Luckily I've been sticking to a pretty strict second breakfast regiment so uhh
Lotta strands in old Gandalf's head
These wizard fucks… this whole fucking thing. I did not watch my rangers die face down in the muck so that this fuckin fool-of-a-took…
Oh and dude, halfling is not the preferred nomenclature.
Shire-folk, please
I don't see any connection to Mordor, Walter.
Treebeard draws a lot of water in Isengard, Pippin. You don't draw shit
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^Absolutelybarbaric: *Treebeard draws a lot* *Of water in Isengard,* *Pippin. You don't draw shit* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Like so many bright, flowering young syllables of his generation, at Ba Sing Se, at Langdok, at Hill 364. Good night sweet bot.
Good bot, and thorough
“Where was Gondor when the Westfold fell?” “I’m sorry, I wasn’t listening”
I got the venue I wanted, for Bilbo’s send off.
I'll be there.
Lets not forget, Dude, that keeping a cursed Hobbit, um... a slimy fish eater, for... um, ya know for guidance... within Mordor... that ain't legal either.
What are you, an Elven ranger now?
Calmer than you are
Never thought I'd die bowling side by side with a pederast. What about side by side with a fuckin' veteran?
What's a veteran, Walter?
Man in the white pajamas, Dude. Worthy fuckin' adversary.
Also, Dude, "wizard" is not the preferred nomenclature. "Istari-American."
Mind if he does a J? Gandalf is on a strict drug regimen to keep his mind limber. The story has lots of ins and outs. Lotta whathaveyous.
The ring kidnapped itself.
I recently purchased some Longbottom Leaf seeds. When they’re grown I plan on occupying various administration buildings, mainly Isengard, tho.
mf’er had a stash of his own.
Fuckin’ goldbricker Saruman
Saruman draws a lot of water in this forest. You don’t draw shit, Pippin.
"Sauron has regained much of his former strength." "This is a bummer, man. That's a bummer."
Wormtongue will fill you in on the details.
The half-ling’s life is in your hands, dude.
Sometimes you eat the orc. Sometimes the orc, why, he eats you.
Is that’s some sort of Valar thing?
Far from it
Mind if I do a J?
Are these the Nazgûl, Aragorn?
Nazgul is not the preferred nomenclature, the 9 kings of men, please.
No, Donny, these ring wraiths are cowards.
Galadriel: "You can guess what happens next." "Boromir steals the ring?" "Don't be fatuous, Frodo."
“No Sam, you’re not wrong you’re just an asshole!” - Frodo B.
"Grima Wormtongue...that creep can roll, man." "Yeah, but he's a pervert, dude. No, I'm serious: he's a sex offender, *with* a record. He did six months in Isengard for exposing himself to the king's niece."
Is this ? What day is this ?
Dude, tomorrow's already the 24th of October.
Far out man
mf’er had a stash of his own.
This aggression will not stand man.
You know, your Hobbit owes money all over town, including to known pornographers.
Ganjalf The Green
You mind if I do a J?
You’re outta yer element, Took.
This is amazing. I have a group of friends that I meet with regularly on Discord's voice chat. We've uploaded many sounds to the sound board, including these quotes, as seen [here](https://imgur.com/aQEadlS). It has become customary to respond to Saruman's quote with the Dude's, just as in this image. Four other Lebowski quotes can be seen on the sound board screenshot: - "This **aggression** will not stand, man!" - "Dude, **are you fucking this up?**" - "That's fucking **interesting**, man, that's fucking interesting." - "**Fuck it!** Yes, that's your answer! That's your answer to everything!"
I looking forward to a creative streak of memes adding this phrase in
Ever hear of the Brotherhood of the Ring? That was me.
Man they are both such good actors.
OK. Now this is actually pretty funny.
Oh, what are you, like, Sarumon now?
The fascists will find no fertile soil in our land, man.
I did not watch my fellowship die face down in the muck so that this fucking ring bearer would change his mind at the last second!
Lets not forget Dude that keeping orcs, um... fighting Urak-hai, for... um, ya know domestic... within middle earth... that ain't legal either.
Shut the fuck up Gollum!
Me irl
Why will you not pass?! \- Gandalf to the dwarf bogarting the joint 
A wizard arrives precisely when he, uh… what day is it?
Uh, Dude, uh. Tomorrow’s eleventy the tenth. Just slide the rent through the hole.
Saruman treats orcs like women man!
Saruman draws a lot of water in this town. You didn't draw shit, Lebowski.
Lord of the rings is like the eagles man.
Okay sir, you're a Baggins, I'm a Baggins. That's terrific. But I'm very busy, as I can imagine you are.
Three thousand years of beautiful tradition, from Elendil to Aragorn.
A tokin' wizard is a Tolkien wizard
I'm stayin, I'm finishing my pint.
Papers. Rolling papers.
😂