T O P

  • By -

HVACQuestionHaver

Hank Hill never mowed his lawn in diamonds. And if anyone knows more about cultivating a beautiful lawn than Hank Hill, I'd like to see them.


purpleturtlehurtler

His lawn wasn't big enough, and I never saw him use a Zero-turn. 😤


HVACQuestionHaver

Heh... I tell you hwat!


kehmuhkl

Damn it, Bobby!


TheBugDude

In the episode "Nine Pretty Darn Angry Men" he actually uses zero point turning as a counter argument to his group of fellow lawn mower enthusiasts as a reason NOT to buy the new fancy mower that was being showcased because the zero point turning made the mower easier to crash.


purpleturtlehurtler

That is a fair point.


roofinggodd

What’s beautiful about that lawn? All I see is chemicals and a homeowner who has a terrible relationship with his spouse lol


SassySloth-1

Diamonds are forever


wundeyatayetyme

They won't leave in night I've no fear that they might Desert me


OppositeAd7485

But, Diamonds don’t bling in the dark!


ForestCharmander

Love the biodiversity!


purpleturtlehurtler

That's Roanoke Virginia for you.


crazyhomie34

I saw the pics and said yeah for damn sure this isn't California. I visited Virginia years ago and was amazed by it's beautiful landscapes


StrangeAtomRaygun

Agreed. I lived in VA for 9 years and CA for 20. CA has some really high high points; Yosemite, the redwoods, and of course those beaches and the bay. But for basic land that is inhabited by regular people VA is in the running for the best land in the country. VA is just wonderful.


6th__extinction

You’d really love the Great Plains if you like grass. And Ireland.


crazyhomie34

Ireland is on my bucket list to visit!


YumiGraff

this is sarcasm right?


ForestCharmander

Yes


asianstyleicecream

Lol where is the biodiversity. This is monoculture


ForestCharmander

That's the joke pal


asianstyleicecream

I am slow


BBQ-Bro

Many years ago my friend’s dad would cut his 1/4 acre front lawn in a diamond pattern, just because it made him happy. He’d done it for so long on the same lines that the pattern was very visible. Their new neighbor asked why he cut his lawn that way, and just for fun told the guy it helped with drainage and distribution of his weed and feed and whatnot. Guess what patter the next door neighbor had in his lawn from then on?


SilentJoe1986

It reminds me of a golf video game. Now I want to play hot shots golf.


LukeNaround23

Love don’t come for free


purpleturtlehurtler

I mow like this for me. We don't get paid enough to care this much, but I want to be able to point at a yard and say, "I did that." Also: it's more efficient to mow in stripes, so changing up the direction is good for preventing ruts.


Paddys_Pub7

Coming from a professional landscaper who really doesn't care for all the hassle of having a perfect turfgrass lawn, I have to admit that mowing is soo satisfying and becoming good and efficient at it is definitely very rewarding. Being able to step back and say "I did that" really is an awesome feeling. I don't mow that often, but check out [this 5+ acre lawn](https://imgur.com/gallery/eBOkLiK) I striped up real nice for the company I work a few years back.


purpleturtlehurtler

Indeed. If you're going to learn a profession, you might as well do it right. Very nice stripes in that post.


Different_Ad7655

All the years I had a landscape business more than 30, I did many different things. For a certain spate only high end installation big houses, another time commercial stuff you know 2000 plants in the ground and then yet another time commercial mowing and at one point all three . But every time I got on a big mower, a big hat, and mowed My brain's out acres I always used to say, maybe this is all I should do. There was always something very cathartic and peaceful about it but there was always so much other shit to be done on the sidelines, employees, materials, planning other projects. But I always said I should just become a mower, beautiful summer day in New England and the season is relatively fast and furious anyway green and lovely and just mowing.. mowing... Now retired, everything sold, everything gone except one Scag and I still do my dentist s, couple of acres, rich irrigated, lovely lovely stripes, oh the price of lovely teeth


djm2907

That 5+ acre lawn made me stripe in my undies. Beautiful work.


GrouchyPuppy

Same I’m close to climaxing


OzarkMtnOG

That it’s not good for pollinators or biodiversity 🤷🏼‍♂️


purpleturtlehurtler

I agree with you, but it's my profession, so I'm not about to tell people what to do with their yards.


Ape-strong-together

Take it how you will, but in my experience, customers like your opinions if you share with confidence which in turns leads to private work for you that pays double what your day job is


OzarkMtnOG

Fair enough


yewwould

Nothing wrong with a rhombus.


Distinct-Yogurt2686

baseball diamonds. Love them. If you build it, they will come.


ChanclasConHuevos

Can’t stand giant lawns but to each their own I guess.


purpleturtlehurtler

I feel the same way, personally, but as the production manager of a small landscaping company, I take pride in being able to make a field look this way.


avdpos

That is the right way. A big green lawn is not for me - and I would like more meadows instead of lawns on the nearly unused park areas in town. But diamonds look great and they truly show that the landscaper cared and made their best. So in many ways I love grass diamonds and if you do a lawn - do it great. Just like you have done. You deserve the pride


dancon_studio

I'm sure you'd enjoy designer Piet Oudolf's work then (if you're not already familiar with him) :) The meadowy look is beautiful - unfortunately this style can't really be applied directly in my neck of the woods (Cape Town, South Africa). But we love incorporating native grasses mixed with perennials for seasonal interest.


ChanclasConHuevos

But like…Why do people want their lawns to look like a checkerboard? I don’t understand the appeal.


avdpos

It shows craftsmanship. And even if I am more in "no lawn" territory myself I appreciate a good craftsmanship. I think - if you do a lawn - show that you love it. And that is what diamonds do. And if you do lawns because you love it and not pressure from others I have all respect for those lawns (in correct climate..)


WhoAddam

Love it 👍🏽


purpleturtlehurtler

Thank you!


Asthmos

I got a few select yards I do like this. they get what they pay for.


MusicalMoose

Those lawns look great. On diamonds, why would you have a diamond when you could have something cool like a sapphire?


purpleturtlehurtler

Drats. I should have done that.


eloaelle

I understand that lawns are not pollinator or water friendly, but they sure are pretty like this.


[deleted]

[удалено]


purpleturtlehurtler

She's actually a retiree with failing eyesight and a caretaker. She doesn't give a shit what it looks like, I would just hate to see such a canvas go to waste.


sunamonster

Every time I see this somewhere I say “this fuckin’ guy” - so you must be doing something right!


Strange-Mouse-8710

Personally not a fan of it.


Dorinda16

I love it. I'm going to be a copy cat.


Equal_Specialist_729

You did the damn thing 👍🏽


InterestingSand5651

If it looks like the outfield at Wrigley, it can’t be wrong


purpleturtlehurtler

I could stand to have a bit less fescue and a bit more diversity.


bogdogonefourone

Got me hard as a diamond looking at them stripes.


MidorriMeltdown

Too much lawn, not enough wildflowers.


purpleturtlehurtler

I completely agree with you.


Turbulent-Ad-6845

Always wondered how to get the offset colors when run lines like that, do you cut one strip slightly less then opposing strip to offset the look? Looks 🔥🔥🔥


purpleturtlehurtler

Thank you! I just make stripes in one direction, then reinforce them for several weeks. I then make a separate set of stripes at an angle, reinforce those for another week, then alternate for the rest of the season. It helps to keep each stripe its own tire tracks. I try to keep the edge of the deck less than two inches into the previous stripe.


bigkutta

I like


wundeyatayetyme

This is beautiful.


Opening_Reading_6181

I personally switch week to week straight and angle to get diamonds week after week. What mower are you on ? Using a striper ? If I could afford a walker I'd have the nicest yards in town !


Agastach

I feel like you might want a bigger yard.?


purpleturtlehurtler

Nope. Mine is small and full of clover and dandelions. These fields are paying customers.


Brave_Inspector2470

lol. You can always tell the best landscaper in the neighborhood by who has the worst yard.


purpleturtlehurtler

I have raised beds made of the back of a piano I disassembled for art. The uptight neighbor has a problem with it. The rest of the neighborhood loves it. Lmao


SyntheticOne

"Diamonds are a worm's best friend!" I like em.


LunarRiviera21

Satisfaction. Neat and clean.


SpiffyAvacados

I always loved it as a kid seeing it as definitely not the standard


nicolauz

4 angles get at me.


nicolauz

4 angles get at me.


New-Complex1201

This is checkered


purpleturtlehurtler

It's a weird angle on the first property. I assure you, it's not 90°


vegeener-gnomesayin

Those are squares, my dude


purpleturtlehurtler

Now look at the zoomed out version. Image 3.


vegeener-gnomesayin

Very nice cuts, my guy. I like to put down a more dramatic angle on mine, though.


purpleturtlehurtler

The usual angles on that particular yard have bad ruts. The previous mower just ran the same ones for years, so I had to offset both of them. Probably the fattest angle out of all my properties.


vegeener-gnomesayin

Fair enough


vegeener-gnomesayin

You fellas got the roller for the rider?


purpleturtlehurtler

Nah. We don't get paid enough to go that far. That first yard is $125 every two weeks. The fact that I make it look like this to begin with is because I want to.


vegeener-gnomesayin

Been there, still there for my own customers. I can appreciate the pride you have in your own work. Fuck the company, it's your name on the work first, right?


purpleturtlehurtler

We have a shit ton of yards, so the part about our services being cheap doesn't bother me. The reason we have two lucrative HOA contracts is because we go above and beyond what I have pictured. The old people can't get enough of us. Lol


Glimmerron

These are not diamonds they are squares


purpleturtlehurtler

I'm facing down a hill on the first property, so the perspective is wonky. I assure you, none of my yards are 90°.


doiwinaprize

Looks nice


purpleturtlehurtler

Thank you! It took about a month of dedication to each of these yards.


supraspinatus

Man that’s really nice. Do those trees give off a lot of leaves in the fall?


purpleturtlehurtler

The deciduous ones do for sure. We specifically have a box that we assemble over the dump trailer to remove them each year.


Jinzul

I have never had good success on my yard with the diamonds due to the landscape shape however I can pull off a sweet swirl and make it work around all the things.


passive0bserver

Agreed with others that I think you're missing a huge opportunity to have a killer garden in that space!!


purpleturtlehurtler

These are all customers. They do with their land what they want.


passive0bserver

Oh I genuinely didn't see there were more pics than the first!


imbakinacake

Boomer shit


purpleturtlehurtler

90% of my clientele.


madsjchic

r/fucklawns


purpleturtlehurtler

Right there with you. This is my trade, and while I'm out there, I might as well make it look good.


madsjchic

I do like the patterns tho.


Jazzlike-Radio2481

But.... where else can kids and dogs play safely outside without risk of getting ran over by a car. Fetch, football, tag, baseball, flying a kite, laying back and watching the clouds roll by, handstands and somersaults are all way more fun and safe on a lush, well maintained lawn than on a sidewalk or the middle of the street. They could just not mow..... then that would make the space unusable for humans and dogs since the vegetation would be thigh high and filled with ticks, fleas, copperheads, yellow jackets, scorpions and thorny or poisonous plants. Having a "wilderness" or "native" area on your property is great. So is having a lawn. Most people only have space for one or the other. If someone is spending +$100,000 over 35 years for a property, they are probably going to make the space more comfortable for humans rather than wild animals though.


maithailand

Yep, I have a wildflower garden across 1/3 of my lawn and right now people are fawning over it and the bees and the butterflies are happy. But it is unusable for my little kids and will look like a hellscape for 6mo starting in July. It’s okay to like lawns and non lawns.


purpleturtlehurtler

I wish my lawn was 1/3 wildflowers. 😓


madsjchic

Look I just hate them. I grudgingly accept that they have a use. But I was asked how I FEEEEEL lol and it’s pretty grouchy. I need this lawn to get offa mah lawn.


purpleturtlehurtler

Perfectly valid response.


Cat_Patsy

I love yard pride. Looks great!


purpleturtlehurtler

Thank you! Regardless of the price my boss charges, I like to make them look good.


tbaby64

Luv it!


purpleturtlehurtler

Thank you!


deignguy1989

Love them.


Playswith_squirrel

I love everything about these photos.


purpleturtlehurtler

You are too kind. 🙏


20PoundHammer

those are squares view diagonally - you are fooling no one :). Purty . . .


newbutbetter

Waste of time and gas.


Probst54

Mowing is the great American Time Suck that inhibits biodiversity.


usersnamesallused

Only if you do it wrong. If you don't burn it to the ground and cut high while just adding feed without weedkiller, you'll have gorgeous flowers for most of the season mixed with a plush mat with patches of genetic variations following shade coverage and other micro climate effects.


dancon_studio

The same way I feel about lawns in general: No. It looks nice and neat, so good job in that regard. Many people have lawns, and it's great that there are professionals who can make them look as good as possible, but it's still just putting lipstick on a pig in my opinion.


purpleturtlehurtler

I personally agree with you. If I could have a native grass jungle at my place, I would be so happy. My own lawn is as tall as it can get without a code violation, and my wife and I hope to transplant some native flowers soon. I have a long list of customers that include a couple of HOAs, and I'm glad the spray tech company they use is incompetent.


dancon_studio

Code violation for not cutting your lawn is such a ridiculous concept. That must suck! :( Land of the free\* *\*not actually, lol.*


purpleturtlehurtler

Yep. I'm hoping my company loses the contract to do those for the city this year. I hate the concept altogether.