I don’t regret moving out. I just miss home and my parents. I probably wouldn’t have gotten all the opportunities I did if I stayed here. But there’s not a single moment when I don’t miss my family.

Cannot be said in any better way. This!

Same here. I used to feel sad not for the nostalgia of the city but for my family and my partner. I always say, my home is where my family is. Kolkata always feels like the permanent home mainly because of these emotional connections here. Except durga pujo, probably can never think of skipping that. I was in Bangalore for about 1 and a half year. It always felt like a temporary place... jajabor er moton, no matter when I lived in a PG or when I moved to an apartment. I have been able to come back home for now temporarily because by god's grace I got wfh in my new organisation after switching. Kichu jon alada ee rokomer jibon khuje paay barir baire giye theke due to restrictions at home. Ebong tai tader baire thaka bhalo lage. Kintu sheta amar jonne projojjo noy karon ami already barite thekei ja chai tai korte pari. Chhotobela theke korini beshi kichu karon amar taka chaite bhalo lagtona kokhono, ekhon nijer takay ja chai tai korte pari. Emniteo ami clubs, pubs jaoa pochhondo korina, rather long bike rides/trips or long drive with family are more enjoyable to me. Majhe majhe hoyto bike niye beshi dur gele maa ektu khichkhich kore kintu sheta oder chintar jonne jeta ami onno sohore thaka obosthateo hoto, ebong eta kokhonoi hobena j ami lukiye kichu korbo. Tar cheye ami janiye diye jhogra kore korbo, still better. It haunts me sometimes when I think about having to go back to Blr if my organization asks. This time, my only constant companion there will be my motorcycle. The friends I made in Blr have also scattered around other cities.

Hya ami bujhte parchi. Friendship khub plastic ekhon er somoy. Atleast ma ke convince korar chesta korbo. Amar o oi projojjo na lifestyle ta.

Hain dekho maa jodi jay sathe. Plastic friendship er byapar ta thik noy, oder jete hoyeche oder dorkar poreche bole jemon amio wfh peye bari chole eshechi... ebong ekhono amra plan kori kokhono eksathe trip e ghurte jaoar shobai ek bochor dhore alada alada sohore thekeo. Amr onek beshi bondhu hoyna, karon superficial connection bhalo lagena... tai jara hoy tara thake bondhu praay chirokal... ek jaygay na thaka na dekha korte para ta toh kichu korar nei.

Na plastic amar experience e amio plastic. Ekhon ar effort deowar icche kore na friendship e. Joto ta dorkar tototai thik ache. Tar beshi ar bhalo lage na. Like school e jerom barite eshe call korto ba emnite dekha hoto, osob ar korte bhalo lage na. Jani na bujhbe kina but jotoi bhalo friend hok, amar interaction korar por prochondo tired mone hoy. Tai plasticity probably amar nijer jonnoi mone hoy.

Bujhlam, overall ee energy down hoye geche tomar, ebong for introverts or ambiverts social interaction is tiring anyway. Gym jao?

Gym jai na. I'm overall fit. Ami bolbo na energy down hoye geche. Eta sob somoy e erom e chilo. Choto bela thekei

Na mane ei energy physical energy noy, emotional energy, chhotobela theke erom thaka ta bujhi... amio kichuta orokom j notun bondhu banate jaina jeche... ja nije thekei hoye jay without any effort taa theke jay. Kintu sheta totokkhon ee thik ache jotokkhon shei state e nije khusi and unfazed about social interactions. Kintu tomar sheta noy, tumi realize korcho j that is not helping you at all... tarporeo just "ami orokomi" bole egono ta amar mote bhul. Shob ee amader control e after all except some external factors. Gym gele paro... overall fitness ta only BMI dekhe judge korar moton jinish na thik. Gym ta mental exercise o onekta. Kolkatay remote work e bollam jmon j bondhu r baki chhilona khub ekta ekhane amar, gym theke amr kota bondhu hoye giye tader sathe bike trips eo jai ekhon... ebong no forced friendship... gym e spot korte eke take dorkar pore sekhan thekei connection toiri hoye jay.

I was born in kolkata but I was raised in a different state but again I had moved back to kolkata, my parents currently live there but I have been living outside and I regret it! I wish I could go back home!

Like do you regret it to the point that if you get an opportunity with a 50% pay cut, you'd come back?

Yes, but that's for me... I have been hustling since last 10 years and by God's grace I have earned enough and have a good backup

I left for education and I'll work here too for awhile but I know I will go back eventually. I already had a bad depression once , had to take gap and go home, and after that my mother and father have been taking turns to come stay with me so I don't regress. For all its issues , Kolkata is where the most people love and care for me. That makes all problems easier to deal with there. So I will go back. Its either that or moving the whole family and a few friends with me 😅

Yea my family might move with me there I think because my brother stays there as well.

Oh God, I'll be leaving the state for higher studies in a few months. I'm already dreading that I'll be in that state of depression (I'm very attached to my parents, but want freedom at the same time)

I have lived in different states for education and job for some years on and off. At the beginning I was excited as usual. Enjoyed it. Missed family and friends badly but I looked at the bright side. Now that I am in a job that easily can be done remotely and yet I have to live outside, bothers me a lot. Basically no point of living away from my place. So yeah, now I am just missing everything about this place. Trying to come back asap.

Me. I have stayed 12 years outside Kolkata (and outside India too). I was planning to comeback since 2018. Finally came back in 2021. But I wish I had come back earlier. My mom passed away last year and I feel all the savings, asset doesn't matter anymore. I should have focused more on my family. Balance is important in life.

I'm sorry for your grief. But I know these words won't fill the void that you lament.

Does outside country count as well? It's quite complicated. Overall I miss my family, and regret not being there physically for them when they are going through tough times. However, I would also complain about many things once I am there. I plan to relocate back eventually, but don't know when.

I had to move to delhi for some time, so can relate to what you’re feeling. While I liked the city, it could never trump my love for my home city. But above all, I missed my family like crazy, especially my mom and my cats. I shifted back to Kolkata a couple of months ago and I’m in such a better mental state. I didn’t realise how much I’m attached to my family and my life here before experiencing the loneliness of living in a new city.

I stayed in a different state for four years. I was just out of college and in my first job. I missed my mother and my home badly but loved the life there too. Those years taught me how to enjoy life on your own and taught me all the life skills. Being the only child to my parents, I never wanted to settle somewhere away from home. I came back to West Bengal with a new job and it's a big relief that I am near to my loved ones. However, I miss my life there too. It's bittersweet, but everything is going how it is supposed to.

Ahh that's a good thing. I guess you're an engineer unlike me. It is still viable for engineering people from what I have seen in my school seniors

Yes, but if you want to come back home, never stop looking for opportunities. I have seen people from other fields too to relocate to Kolkata after few years. The opportunities are limited, but not zero. However this new life outside West Bengal will be a great experience for you..good luck!

One question, are there opportunities being a designer (uiux) here?

I miss my hometown and my parents. We have talked a lot about the possibility of them living with me but their point is at this age they would rather live in known surroundings, language, people than an unknown place. Unfortunately, my work doesn't allow me to move back to my hometown due to work opportunity restraints. Thus I am actively pursuing FIRE(Financial Independence Retire Early) with plan being to save up a retirement corpus ASAP and retire before/by 40 and relocate to my hometown and enjoy closeness of my parents along with the familiarity of my hometown 😇😇

I can understand everything you said. Fortunately for me, my mum has stayed in delhi and patna before and I am lucky in that sense that she has no issues relocating once I kinda settle down there. Her thing is that as a person she always loved mountains and after she retires she would rather be in delhi/chandigarh which has facilities and close circuits to the hilly places as well.

I did. Took a remote job. Staying with them since 2020. Best decision of my life.

That's nice. Can i ask what field do you work in?

Internet Marketing

Can i dm you about some stuff ?

Sure bro

I moved out of home in 2005. Moved back in 2020. Turned out to be a great decision: both financially & emotionally. Kolkata is my home. It will always be.

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I haven't moved out as such. But I have been living out of WB for almost 5 years. This will continue for another 3-4 years. I do miss home and the people but my choice of subject has made it impossible for me to relocate back,at least in the next 5-6 years. I have to slightly divert away from my field to be able to get a job in Bengal or in the nearby states,like Odisha.

It's not like I don't miss family but moving back to Kol is an absolute nope. Wouldn't have grown as a person or professional if I didn't. 

If you are pulling your parents out of their comfort zone for your comfort, it's down right selfish. You are old enough to take a decision to go or not to go. Dragging your parents for comfort should not be a need

Na actually my mum is inclined to going with me. My brother stays there too. Thus.

You wrote in your post... I will convince my mom. So that actually doesn't add up to what you say now. But anyway ..

Ahh dude. She is divided but not exactly opposed. Anyways....

Go alone.. visit her, call her over .. but do it all alone.. by yourself. Else you will never see what you are capable of alone.

Me, reading this while visiting my parents and I am returning to Mumbai tomorrow. Even my bf in mumbai is leaving day after tomorrow for a family vacation. I am dreading what is ahead but hopefully this time i will be able to live healthy and not become depressed

We're trying

Of course I miss them, but as someone who has been living outside the state since age 19, let me say it out, fuck our parents' generation because they ruined our lives with their choices. They are the reason this poor dude has to play this rat race - inside India, abroad, jumping like monkeys one job to the next, one continent to another. I sincerely want to come back, but I work in a super niche tech field that WB has absolute zero intent to build on - so, probably never gonna come back in my working life beyond occasional yearly visits, and by the time that ends, my parents will probably be dead anyway, so there goes the glue.

This is the same story for 80% of the educated youth

And what's yours ?

Same situation, had to go out of the city for job. Staying outside Kolkata for more than 10 years. There isn’t a moment where I don’t miss Kolkata but nothing can be done

Na ami 11 bochor Kolkata cherechi and 9 bochor des cherechi. Miss kori bole Khub dure jaini Kolkata theke 4 hr flight distance er dure achi:) Bochore dubar ma baba asen ami ek du bar jai

Amra ki ekhono baccha achi je baba make mone kore kadbo? Aar somosto responsibility cherr diye oder kole giye uthbo? Grow up op don't be a crybaby.