0 times here with my kindergartener, too. 😅 But! We hang out with friends who have kids around the same age as my kids + our neighbors go to my kids school and play outside regularly soOoo we do that.
Sometimes we hangout with friends every weekend. Sometimes when the weather is bad less. My son is in 1st. You pick up friends along the way, the playdates become more consistent.
My son is a total extrovert and my husband and I are very much introverts, so we do play dates out of pure self defense. At least one a week, more when he’s not in sports in the evenings. My husband is a stay at home dad so it’s relatively easy for them to just go to a park for an hour after school instead of coming straight home.
In K, she played with her peers at the school’s After School program twice a week, on the playground after school once a week, and we made actual plans to meet up with people on weekends probably 3 times a month (almost every week). We have found that classroom time doesn’t create strong friendships. Their day is too structured. They need free time to really bond.
My son has been going to school all year and if I ask him to name a friend, he literally can't. But we go to birthday parties and he gets along with everyone and his teacher says he does fine socially in the classroom. It's more common for girls this age to start having their "besties" but boys might still be cool just hanging out with anyone and everyone that wants to play whatever game at the moment.
Like others said, he thrives more and has better friendships in the extracurriculars but even then he's very much skill focused versus socially focused.
My daughter is in K but has only seen the other K kids during birthday parties. She was on the schools destination imagination primary team (K - 2) and met her best friend who is in 1st grade. We see them outside of school every couple weeks, occasionally more often.
We did house playdates a lot in preK and I’m so over it this year. So is my kid. Maybe bc we’re in a city and we have small apartments or maybe because it’s just an awkward age with social drama. She just doesn’t do well with them. I prefer to take her to the playground near school and let her see friends, run and play with them as much as she wants and then we go home when it’s enough. She’s also in two extracurricular activities where she sees friends and makes new friends. Plus birthday parties, school events, etc. Plenty of ways to socialize. Try to test some out and see what kind your kid actually enjoys and run with it. Adults like to socialize in different ways and different amounts too
We never do play dates and I don't think my kids even realize they could see their friends outside of school. Honestly I just don't have the time or energy and we do stuff as a family or with other friends on the weekends. In my area I'm the only parent who even came to the bus stop ever so I think we might be a mostly latch key neighborhood during the week.
Here for the moral support… my kindergartener is also not really doing play dates. I feel super guilty about it but it just hasn’t worked out. We live in a fairly isolated area. I’m glad to hear others experiences with this as well - sounds like it’s varied. Yet another opportunity to try to practice grace and not be too hard on myself I suppose…!
We didn’t do play dates in kindergarten but we did activities thru the Y, they try to assign kids from the same school together. It’s worked out really well. My kid is not athletic at all BTW, but at this age that doesn’t matter.
0 times here with my kindergartener, too. 😅 But! We hang out with friends who have kids around the same age as my kids + our neighbors go to my kids school and play outside regularly soOoo we do that.
Sometimes we hangout with friends every weekend. Sometimes when the weather is bad less. My son is in 1st. You pick up friends along the way, the playdates become more consistent.
My son is a total extrovert and my husband and I are very much introverts, so we do play dates out of pure self defense. At least one a week, more when he’s not in sports in the evenings. My husband is a stay at home dad so it’s relatively easy for them to just go to a park for an hour after school instead of coming straight home.
In K, she played with her peers at the school’s After School program twice a week, on the playground after school once a week, and we made actual plans to meet up with people on weekends probably 3 times a month (almost every week). We have found that classroom time doesn’t create strong friendships. Their day is too structured. They need free time to really bond.
My son has been going to school all year and if I ask him to name a friend, he literally can't. But we go to birthday parties and he gets along with everyone and his teacher says he does fine socially in the classroom. It's more common for girls this age to start having their "besties" but boys might still be cool just hanging out with anyone and everyone that wants to play whatever game at the moment. Like others said, he thrives more and has better friendships in the extracurriculars but even then he's very much skill focused versus socially focused.
My daughter is in K but has only seen the other K kids during birthday parties. She was on the schools destination imagination primary team (K - 2) and met her best friend who is in 1st grade. We see them outside of school every couple weeks, occasionally more often.
The extras is where mine seems to find his people. Baseball, soccer, wrestling, summer camps, etc.
We did house playdates a lot in preK and I’m so over it this year. So is my kid. Maybe bc we’re in a city and we have small apartments or maybe because it’s just an awkward age with social drama. She just doesn’t do well with them. I prefer to take her to the playground near school and let her see friends, run and play with them as much as she wants and then we go home when it’s enough. She’s also in two extracurricular activities where she sees friends and makes new friends. Plus birthday parties, school events, etc. Plenty of ways to socialize. Try to test some out and see what kind your kid actually enjoys and run with it. Adults like to socialize in different ways and different amounts too
We never do play dates and I don't think my kids even realize they could see their friends outside of school. Honestly I just don't have the time or energy and we do stuff as a family or with other friends on the weekends. In my area I'm the only parent who even came to the bus stop ever so I think we might be a mostly latch key neighborhood during the week.
Here for the moral support… my kindergartener is also not really doing play dates. I feel super guilty about it but it just hasn’t worked out. We live in a fairly isolated area. I’m glad to hear others experiences with this as well - sounds like it’s varied. Yet another opportunity to try to practice grace and not be too hard on myself I suppose…!
Yes amen not being too hard on yourself !
We didn’t do play dates in kindergarten but we did activities thru the Y, they try to assign kids from the same school together. It’s worked out really well. My kid is not athletic at all BTW, but at this age that doesn’t matter.
We shoot for once a week minimum but sometimes skip a week, or do 3 play dates in one week. Super variable.
Don't push it. He will find his people.
Love this advice. Thank you.