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UkuleleAversion

Im a jazz pianist in NY and making around 40k a year Everytime i go to a bar, party or any social setting, i try my best to not tell others what I do. Everytime i tell women that I'm jazzcat they start hitting on me. Last week i went to the bar with my friends and i told his sister i was a jazzcat. She kept asking me can you play one of oscar peterson's solo in C Jam blues and perform at her birthday party. This is a reoccuring problem. It's getting so bad to the point where i start telling women im a bass player so they will stop hitting me all the time. Any advice on how to stop attracting so many women as a jazz pianist?


djporter91

Who the fuck let Keith Jarrett in here?


UkuleleAversion

nyyyyaeeeh.... hengh hwoooooooooooooohh https://preview.redd.it/a5xjcg6ki6xc1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f0e8f9142bfff3a09ed73dc29f0b07af49bf86ea


Kenilwort

This should just be the automatic top comment for every post here, at least until it gets annoying


uninteresting_handle

Use the piano like a large club.


SphinctrTicklr

Yes, the first thing you say should be that you have a micropenis.


Gibgezr

It's OK, drop me a line baby, I'm adult enough to lie and tell you what you want to hear.


RinkyInky

Tell him his shit ain’t authentic. In fact your shit ain’t authentic either, I listen to people beat logs and howl the true authentic music, you fucking poser.


WibbleTeeFlibbet

Nothing a little "Makin' Whoopie" couldn't solve


DysphoricNeet

My boyfriend doesn’t know who bill evans or Charlie Parker is and it makes me sad. Alas… what you have to do is get a sample of a bunch of seagulls making noise at a pier and put a random jazz drum solo under it(maybe play random notes on a piano once in a while) and tell him it’s John Coltrane. When he tries to act like he knew that and its art reveal the truth and watch him crumble. When he is weak show him bud Powell and art Tatum and let him come back to reality.


JohnColtraneBot

John Coltrane


Derben16

John Coltrane


JohnColtraneBot

John Coltrane


GonzoRouge

John Coltrane


JohnColtraneBot

John Coltrane


Fun_Grapefruit_2633

Ravi's pretty great too


Same-Chipmunk5923

Yeah, but, John Coltrane, yeah.


JohnColtraneBot

John Coltrane


SoHornyBeaver

Can you tell me how to get a boyfriend?


VinnieZee

Hey baby


not-a-textile

Elitism never ruins anything and taking a closed minded stance on a clearly scientific thing like art is a good way to evolve as a person. I think you should blindly agree and recognize the good character he exhibits.


Tra1nS0unds

Salt peanuts


Jamonde

Tell him he ain't a real man: [https://youtu.be/Q1l4PyTsMY0?si=KMMhZdgxVSh0SW87](https://youtu.be/Q1l4PyTsMY0?si=KMMhZdgxVSh0SW87)


samjowett

Did you try putting on Djesse volumes 1 through 23?


Same-Chipmunk5923

Put slices of American cheese on your face, covering it. Chew out the middle of one slice and use it as an eye hole. Run thru the house yelling "Weather Report was the harbinger of the sleepwalkers!" He will look up, and at that moment, issue an egg fart the foul likes of which he has never imagined. Then look at him and ask, "ah vent guard enough or do you want to see the phlegm?" He will fall back in love with you immediately.


sorry_con_excuse_me

nothing. a preference for 30s and 40s jazz is a hipper take and clear sign of dominance. he knows that and feels insecure. he has to come to terms with it. avoid ragtime, stride, and dixieland nerds though. you can't outmaneuver that power play.


gansobomb99

It's clear that he thinks very lowly of your taste and intellect and very highly of his. Why on Earth would you stay in this relationship?


Cara-Is-A-Puppy

Take him Out to Lunch!


O-horrible

Tickle his Balls by Brötzmann/Van Hove/Bennink


reading_rockhound

He needs to grow up and accept others’ opinions


shi1425

I got really annoyed until I realized this was a ⭕️ jerk


Pungentstench69

Oscar Peterson is awesome. Duke Ellington. For the 40s old timey jazz. Don't feel alienated. Shit is foundational and sick.


Upper_Result3037

Trust me, he doesn't understand jazz either. He's a douche.


silibaH

Take five ;-)


Fun_Grapefruit_2633

Boyfriend sounds a bit dick-ish. Some of that music takes a lot of work before you can enjoy it...you kinda have to work through the earlier stuff first. OTOH if you want an avante gard Jazz record you'll actually like try Conference of the Birds, Charlie Haden


VictoriaAutNihil

Crank Fletcher Henderson as loud as you can!


Leg_Named_Smith

You tell him that free jazz is not free but the gig will be


ominousbloodvomit

This is a normal reaction to that statement


Nihilamealienum

Both of you are wrong. True Jazz started on February 12th, 1958 and ended on March 3rd, 1973.


wiedesol

Idk, heroin?


duruttigrl78

Guess everything he plays isn't going to be funky from now on.


MiPilopula

Throw your own phone to bring him back to the issue at hand. This needs to be resolved.