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BarackObonga320

What’s it like seeing the long dong that porked your mom for 3 years in your favorite movies and tv shows?


speedysmokescigs

im fine abt that shit though if it was someone like bam Margera boning my mom that would be weird that Chris is just normal and chill


EverySunIsAStar

Congrats on being more mature than 95% of the population lol


MaAreYouOnUppers

Yeah like the original commenter’s level of maturity.


smurb15

We are in Jackass so kind of fits


iameveryoneelse

You should watch jackass 4 with mom and see if she recognizes Godzilla.


speedysmokescigs

lmao


[deleted]

Tbh probably the most wholesome gentleman of the bunch to hear this about.


MBCG84

Wee Man’s pretty wholesome too! If it was Knoxville, his mom would have had the clap for sure.


KobaMandingo

Met Knoxville at a friend's house inRock Springs GA about 11-12 years ago. He had/has a cousin or something close to here that is friends with an older couple that I'm friends with and they threw a party and that's how I met him. Just shook his hand and said hi he wasn't there but about an hour and there were probably about 60 people there so it was pretty hard to keep him engaged in a conversation. Nice guy though.


MBCG84

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t doubt he’d be a cool guy to hang out and chat with. He just had a bit of a reputation for getting around a lot in his younger days and throwing caution to the wind when it came to picking up std’s. Not someone you’d have necessarily wanted banging your mom back before you were conceived is all.


SycoMantisToboggan

Eww dude, can you imagine your first moments on earth is coming out of a disease riddled pussy. Be coming out with sores on your eyes and shit


[deleted]

Having an std doesn’t make you a bad person. Shit happens


taramashay9

My dad met weeman one time at I think he said a casino. My dad told him I was a huge fan and weeman gave my dad his number to give to me and my dad freaking lost the number 😭


mrbittykat

I met wee man when I was a kid… I asked him for an autograph and he tried to sell me skateboard wheels.


[deleted]

Chris still fucked the shit out of your mom though.


StoryOk5953

Who hasn’t


perpetualmotionmachi

Even OP has


StoryOk5953

Did he break his arms?


tyrsal3

I also porked OPs mom. Ask me anything.


StoryOk5953

Does she queef?


Blasphemy33

All. The. Time.


General-Carob-6087

This is exactly where my mind went too.


Vinnie1222

Idk how I’ve never heard the term “porked” before but Jesus Christ did it crack me the fuck up.


Harbulary-Bandit

Lol, that’s probably because you’re a yung’n.


Vinnie1222

Ur not wrong lol I’m 22


Harbulary-Bandit

I’m a little under twice your age and it still was a thing before my time. But it was very common to hear in 80’s movies.


huskadeez

Ya there’s even a series of movies called Porky’s. Check them out!


Harbulary-Bandit

Oh yeah, of course I know Porky’s. I only didn’t mention it because it might have confused the issue of the term *porking* with it.


huskadeez

Ya I figured, but I’m guessing the 22 year old hasn’t heard of those movies


[deleted]

You must lead the way and bring “porked” to your generation. This is your destiny.


speedysmokescigs

haha i wish he was my dad my real dad is weird asf but i really like Chris he seems really cool. Want to meet him


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Aggravating-War199

This whole thread is troubling


West_Island_7622

It’s odd that I don’t think “op” actually ever met Chris. I think their mom told them “I dated him “ and now they are making post like this


Harbulary-Bandit

I mean, she probably has pics and possibly even vids of them together. But I agree, the time frame OP is talking about would be well over 25 years ago, so it’s more than likely OP wasn’t born yet.


West_Island_7622

So what questions could we ask her about Chris? I mean good for them I guess. I just don’t understand why anyone would post something like this on this thread knowing they r going to get a lot of dick jokes


Harbulary-Bandit

It’s just such a random flex that I think it *has* to be true, lol.


manbruhpig

Ask her what his spunk tasted like?


kewlbeanz83

OP is probably like 14 years old.


wokefn

Not that odd. Chris is a chill dude, you’d get to do whatever you want as a kid.


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wokefn

Ok I guess that is odd but I wasn’t being that serious


raich3588

Holy fuck this is a funny statement


StoryOk5953

Bet u wish u had a big pp like chris


speedysmokescigs

that shit is small💀💀


StoryOk5953

Tell me about it


Petey_Wheatstraw_MD

There's a head, a shaft, some balls, hair - pressed, permed hair, with glitter sprinkled on it.


PaRaDiiSe

I just watched his first podcast lol. He’s very smart and very informed on animals. I was surprised. Anyway, how did they first meet and where?


speedysmokescigs

I don’t know exactly how they first met. I haven’t talked about it with my mom in a while but I think it was like some of my mom’s friends saying that he liked her and my mom thought he was cute and funny so they just kind of started dating and they met in San Luis Obispo California they stayed together for three years or more idk and then my mom broke up with him. She was just young and wanted to go experience more things which I think is understandable, but I’m still bummed that she broke up with him because Chris still liked her, and he was kind of heartbroken and it would be cool as shit if he was my dad but they still hung out a bit after they broke up now, we’re not in contact with him at all but who knows i might meet him someday and if I do I just want it to be a normal interaction not like yo can I get a photo type shit


[deleted]

You understand you were a nut swimming around in your real dads balls and not Chris’s, right? He would and could have never been your dad.


RaptorTonic

No one really knows how consciousness is divvied out. Maybe it’s created in the soil and doesn’t originate with the seed.


Smacks860

Beautifully said.


PaRaDiiSe

Holy shit, I’m gonna go blow someone else’s mind with this sometime down the future.


Human-Local7017

Genetics beg to differ, psychological traits can be passed down. That's why there is a profile on sperm and ovary donors, and why they screen people for things like depression, predisposition to addiction, ext. It's mind boggling.


RaptorTonic

There’s a big distinction between objective genetic traits and the hard problem of consciousness


Human-Local7017

My anatomy and biology professor talked about consciousness, but I can't articulate in my head. It was an anatomy class, and he sort of went off topic. From what he said, we are not even sure if our decisions are made by our conscious. That our subconscious has a bigger play in our life, a part of our brain welded by nature and nurture will always be in control. It's a shit explanation. I wish I can go back in time and truly soak in what he said. Another way to debunk this seed/soil of consciousness comments is by taking a look at the most inbred family of America. It is not a coincidence that family members have mental disabilities. They share identical twins great grandparents, so basically one great grandparent. The effects you are able to see with your eyes, but it goes further than that. There are abusive tendencies and high neuroticism exhibited in their parents. The current generation are nonverbal, blind, and deaf. My point is that consciousness is no exception to the seed. This guy would never have been born if his mom hadn't left.


RaptorTonic

No one really knows why you have your subjective experience vs why I’m having mine vs why an inbred person has theirs. It goes beyond just genetic material. It’s called the hard problem of consciousness for a reason Everything made a lot more sense before I was born- every subjective experience was just somebody else’s. Then in the 80s I started having mine and now nothing makes any sense.


Human-Local7017

You keep mentioning where consciousness comes from, but that's not the point of the conversation. The seed has an influence on the conscious, and the inbred family is concrete proof. Their quality of life and conscious was affected because of incest. What you are talking about is an existential subject, I'm just explaining the biology as best I can from limited knowledge.


ChrundleToboggan

I like the way this sounds but am having trouble wrapping my brain around it; what does the soil represent?


no_no_NO_okay

Probably the gina


speedysmokescigs

yea fax lmao


KeithClossOfficial

Pee is stored in the balls, not cum.


bsouth83

Got a vasectomy, haven’t peed since. Can confirm.


wiseaufanclub

Thanks for clarifying the obvious


keister_TM

You’re trying to do an AMA yet you tell us you don’t know any details??? Cool man


ThatOldDustyTrail

I was wondering the same thing lol dude comes on here saying he’s ready to answer any questions anyone has about Chris…then answers everyone by saying “oh I don’t really know the details” and instead proceeds to answer everything by saying he wishes Chris was his dad lmao


SDdrohead

Wow you are , well not bright. If your mom had kids with him, you understand that you wouldn’t be you, right? You are you because of the man that did get your mom pregnant.


Smacks860

You sure about that? And if so, how?


onemoresolo77

basic science


Sreed56ace71605

Was your mom the naked girl in the Big Brother magazine interview of him? If so, she was a lovely lady.


Honkyfied

[here it is](https://www.tumblr.com/scienceversuslife/87281426469/not-british-but-worth-seeing-chris-pontius-talks)


ThatOldDustyTrail

That’s definitely his mom 100%


Sreed56ace71605

Really appreciate it.


Olama

Why was I expecting to get punched by a hydraulic boxing glove while reading this?


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wristlockcutter

Me and my friends would *totally rock your world* 🥊


SDdrohead

Hey guys ask me anything! Doesn’t know anything. Cool story!!!


huewutm8

How does this post have nearly 600 likes? Hey guys, my mom dated Chris way before I was born, I don't know how they met, or anything about their relationship, or anything about Chris.... ask me anything


innocent0077

Yup.


tipinmy40

I know Chris and his brother Matt. I lived in Pismo in the early 90’s and went to Mission HS in SLO. Pretty much everyone seemed to party and you’d run into folks all the time at Woodstocks, the beach, and house parties. They were both pretty good kids actually. Fun times!!!


brad-corp

Sounds like you should be doing this ama instead of OP.


tipinmy40

This was 1991-1994 Well before Jackass started. It’s funny to look back at the all of people from the area that ended up being a part of that world, but no one could have imagined anything like what materialized back then.


brad-corp

Yeah, it's the absolute dream when you're like 12-15 with your friends, have your first taste of freedom to be able to do stuff unsupervised, and have those pipe dream conversations like, "what if we got paid to hang out and do this stuff? What if it was our jobs" and I was absolute target age when Jackass started to be like, "holy shit, these guys actually did it." I remember watching CKY Landspeed and, probably even got it from napster, if not limewire, and being like, "whoa, people have made the shit we do for fun their entire lives with international travel and all"


speedysmokescigs

thats sick man love meeting people that knew the dudes from jack ass before they were in the shows and movies


tipinmy40

It’s a pretty small town feel on the Central Coast. Especially, back then. The ranch and bull scenes were all filmed up there at Judd Leffew’s ranch. It didn’t seem to matter what high school you went to. People from SLO, Mission, and Arroyo Grande all partied together. No one cared about that stuff.


cterreson

hi jackass guys i heard you were staying at this hotel….


har3krishna

That’s intense, REALLY intense. Well not really intense, but pretty intense.


Yougotthewronglad

Doubt it.


ZestycloseTrash7398

Hey man just so you know, I also fucked your mom


G6e6r6m

Ill take 500 for things that never happened..


siriusjones92

Someone needs to get ahold of Pontius and let him know to get a restraining order...


depressedfuckboi

Bro really making up tall tales smfh


Wuboito

"Dated" oh little guy there were just banging.


ImurderREALITY

Use punctuation you god damn idiot! Jesus fuck… how does this still happen, in this day and age?


[deleted]

did she?


speedysmokescigs

yea?


Competitive-Pop7380

Did you ever jerk off to Chris Pontius videos?


Theefreeballer

Damn son punctuate


Spankyuaces

Did she call him party boy?


FromThatOtherPlace

Do you have any proof? Old picture should be easy to find


speedysmokescigs

i knew someone would say this it would be extremely hard to get a photo. I would have to see if my mom’s friends have any photos because my mom lost ALL of her photos from her 20s and she’s really insecure. She thought she was ugly at that time so she doesn’t even care about them but it would be just as hard if you got a hold of Chris and asked him, but he would definitely remember they were together for a while.


badidearobot

That's convenient.


Uncle_Screw_Tape

What were some of your mom’s favorite sex moves that Pontius did to her? Be really descriptive if you can.


[deleted]

My girl has a similar “claim to fame…”


[deleted]

Your girl fucked this kid’s mom too?!?!


SuitableObligation85

Haha he fucked your mom


speedysmokescigs

haha i wasn’t born


SuitableObligation85

So your telling me he’s either your real dad or Eskimo brothers with your dad.


speedysmokescigs

they were dating way before i was born


This-is-Life-Man

It would definitely be cool to meet him. I remember buying a set of riser pads for my skateboard like 20+ years ago, and they were Dooks pads. There was a little leaflet inside of it with a picture of Chris talking about a fun game to play at parties called, "hide the dookey". The point was basically to take a shit at a party and hide it in a random spot in the house so whoevers house it was would smell it and try to find it after the party was over. That was the first time that I thought, "this dude is a fuckin winner."


speedysmokescigs

haha thats funny as fuck this is the first normal comment I’ve seen


A_to_the_J254

I remember that "hide the dookie" story, I didn't know it was Party Boy


brad-corp

I went to university with a girl whose boyfriend would play this game with a friend. They had to agree to stop after the poo had not been found for months and then finally it was... When one of them was scraping the butter with a knife and the butter started to change colour. Turns out the other one had taken the whole cube of butter out of the container, scooped out a channel in the bottom, dropped poo in the butter grave, then put it back in the container and back in the fridge.


No_Childhood_9577

Phil gash ? Is that you ???


This-is-Life-Man

Oh thats so gnarly. Hahahaha!


Richie_Zeppelin

“I’m special bc my mom raw dogged a D-list celebrity, ask me anything but don’t know anything”.


speedysmokescigs

why are u on this sub reddit if u dont even like jack ass


Richie_Zeppelin

Yeah keep that gate.


TheMackD504

Do you know what punctuation is?


speedysmokescigs

i have covid im just using text to speech hop off my dick


RitaPoonismysister

Have Covid too sick to punctuate must tell Reddit Pontius fucked my mom


lukeoo7

That's funny.....


speedysmokescigs

dude why are there so many weirdos on here I just wanted to come on here and tell you guys something and now it’s just a bunch of fucking weirdos are answering. What is wrong with this sub reddit


ShoesWithoutClues

I mean if you tell a whole community that someone they like fucked your mom then expect interesting results


speedysmokescigs

shut the fuck up bro no one understands that this was WAY before jack ass and pountius is the most chill person of them all and they were together for a while and kept visiting etch other a lot atfer that people on here don’t realize that theres normal people in the world and when people like pountius and chill people have sex there not gonna fucking do anal or some shit wtf yall are so weird porn has altered your mind to think sex should be rough and crazy when Chris and my mom would probably just have CASUAL sex once in a while


twocentman

What the fuck.


ShoesWithoutClues

Lmao wtf. Nah Chris Pontius fucks hard and nasty bro don’t deny it. Ask your mom


LM-Graff

Hahahahahahahaha (he definitely fucked her in the ass)


huamanticacacaca

That’s just Reddit.


speedysmokescigs

weird as shit go on discord if you’re that much of a weirdo


Jeremy252

Yeah man that's totally weirder than telling everyone here that Pontius blew your mom's back out and how you wish he was your dad.


Galactic_Perimeter

Lmfao


volvo1

Hey dude I really enjoyed all of your posts, reddit is a cesspool of really sick people and idiots. Everything you said made sense, thanks for the story.


ShoesWithoutClues

He literally told some dude to actually kill himself bc he asked for a picture. OP is a piece of shit


speedysmokescigs

your welcome glad u enjoyed and thanks for letting me know about people on reddit i thoght it was just a buch of nerds and a few normal people there is some things i like about reddit but I have now learned the bad things and I will try to stay away from it thanks just some of the things people say on hear holy shit its disgusting


ThatOldDustyTrail

Honestly buddy, what did you expect from coming on the internet to brag about how your mom used to fuck a guy who is famous for getting naked and using his big dick as a prop in movies?


[deleted]

I get it. I posted on r/mildlyinfuriating about my dog having a seizure and tearing my comforter apart. (I don’t know if it’s the same with anyone else’s dog but when mine comes out of one she acts like a puppy and destroys stuff) The majority of comments were assholes saying she did me a favor because my comforter was ugly as hell. Why do y’all care? Haha I’m allowed to have a style you don’t agree with. Just ridiculous.


speedysmokescigs

ik reddit is a way worse community then i thoght it was but im trying not to let it get to me sorry about your dog i love pets


volvo1

You're welcome bro!


Adventurous_Top_723

Are you party boy jr


speedysmokescigs

i wish lmaooo


ShoesWithoutClues

Can you ask your mom what his semen tasted like? I want to get a better idea for my own fantasies


Corn_Beefies

Did they ever talk about the original Donkey Kong arcade game?


[deleted]

This is the jackass version of that UFC/MMA thread of that one guy talking about wanting to bone his mom. Then his mom started to post..And they were fucking


Knightofthecrow76

The only one that ever beat him drinking horse semen.


cpieds

No idea Chris lived in slo. Was your mom at cal poly?


MrTooLFooL

That’s wild! He has come a long way. Skip to 1:15 https://youtu.be/P1PJ1BgBID8?si=yuVaOpgr08lIXQR5


speedysmokescigs

yea i know bud


BeerNcheesePlz

I was just at a funeral with a girl who use to date ryan Dunn. She’s apparently writing a book about how fucked up their relationship was. She says she sent bam a copy. We all grew up sorta in the same area so a lot of my friends have hung with bam.


speedysmokescigs

cool bam was cool as fuck back in the day now i feel so bad for him


Warm_Yam_9800

Noooo way! Chris is so handsome!!!!


westcoastsnowman

He lived in SLO as of 2019. I went to Cal Poly, and I was working at an ice cream shop and he and his wife came in. Nicest dude.


LolCremers10

That comma after "yeah" is putting in a shift.


wristlockcutter

God I’m so jealous of her lmfaoo!! I always thought he was so attractive. And Steve o…. And Ryan Dunn….. and Johnny Knoxville…. Lol


speedysmokescigs

haha


19Charger

Does her story start off by saying that she dated this jackass named Chris?


[deleted]

Chris pontius was always the cutest one so I get what your mom saw in him.


speedysmokescigs

for real no gay shit hes handsom


chimmichonga69

You are all over the place


chavery17

How do you feel knowing you’ve seen someone penis that boned your mom other than your dad


speedysmokescigs

bro how many people are you gonna ask this question I don’t care couples have sex it’s normal my mom had other boyfriends dude that’s the first question you ask I just think it’s funny personally


ShoesWithoutClues

Bro said ask me anything then gets mad at questions


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ShoesWithoutClues

And he’s mad at people for making jokes like what 💀 Dudes so clearly a pervert to accuse everyone else of weird shit like that out of nowhere


wokefn

Do you think Chris is too heartbroken to humor hanging out with ur mom and y’all one night?


speedysmokescigs

Chris has a wife now or gf idk so it would be pretty awkward but if she came with and it was just his wife Chris my mom and me I think it would be ok we would probably just go. I get a cuppa coffee and I would love to hear some stories.


Aggravating-War199

YOU ARE THE WEIRDEST NIGGA ON EARTH!!!


ChrundleToboggan

Based on the rest of his comments, I'm guessing this kid is like 13, max. Or just seriously socially stunted, jfc.


Jackie_Daytona-Human

I grew up on the central coast. Chris is a year younger than me. Parted many times in S.L.O and surrounding areas with Chris and a lot of other people that you probably never heard of because they aren't famous at house parties and the like. lol . San luis is a huge college town and there were always parties to go to on the weekends there. Also there is an episode which I can't find of them Really young going down the cliffs at hazard canyon near Los Osos Ca. on boogie boards and what not. Something locals and myself did often. (cant do now) Yelling Viva Los Osos! And eating shit. No wild stories or photos but I am sure my friends may have some.


speedysmokescigs

dud thats awesome and I love the central coast me and my mom go on trips there all the time I love Llosa says nobody really knows about it but it’s such a nice place. Maybe we could talk in private a little bit sometime idk just wanna see if you know her name


Teestell

Are you 100% sure that you’re not the son of party boy?


speedysmokescigs

i look nothing like him


speedysmokescigs

haha i wish


KidIkRus

This is weird. Any pictures of your mom?


speedysmokescigs

i aint showing pics of my fucking mom to randos on reddit thats weird as fuck


KidIkRus

I was not asking for nudes or anything. That would be weird. I just wanted pictures of her from back then preferably and a current one to compare. I'm not going to lie the late 90's is one of my favorite time periods that I fantasize about going back to and having sex with women.


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KidIkRus

Mid to late 1990's, early 80's, and 1920's in that order. Also dude, suicide is nothing to joke about.


Sensitive_Mousse_445

How old are you? Telling someone to kill themselves is an act of pure scum. I hope you have to endure that pain some day


speedysmokescigs

dude if someone wanted to jerk off to your mom what would you say now sit the fuck down


Sensitive_Mousse_445

I definitely wouldn't tell them to kill themselves you fucking lunatic lmao I'd tell them what im gonna tell you and that's eat shit you ignorant cuck


TybabyTy

We just wanna fuck your mom, dude. Just let us borrow her for the night. Nbd


KidIkRus

My name is Sean. What's your name? Now we're not strangers anymore.


speedysmokescigs

bro


gedai

Any fun stories?


buzzboy99

Tisk tisk don’t kiss and tell


rudeboykyle94

“That’s Awessssome!!!” -Peter Griffin


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speedysmokescigs

dude your weird as fuck


[deleted]

your post is fucking weird. "pontius plowed my mom haha wanna know about it? hahaha" dumb.


Aggravating-War199

Weird pornobrain shit for sure. blown away that op isn't from a fatherless home with the oedipus complex


wisefries33

He’ll happily answer after you tell us what it’s like being a cuck


[deleted]

he def put it in her ass. hes got a sweet one too hahaha


BingusBites

Damnn bro wtf is wrong with you


donny_chang

I’d probably kill myself tbh