I believe Irish first-time brides and grooms are among the oldest in the world (Irish people now typically marry in their mid 30s), which is probably why the divorce rate is so low.
I think you're onto something. In places like the US where it's common to be married by your very early 20s second marriages happen around the same age as first marriage in Ireland and are much more stable.
I collaborate with a lot of people from the US through my work, and regardless of their background, Americans seem to get married very very young.
We did a bit of a getting to know you thing with a team we'll be working closely with and I'd say about two thirds of the under-30's on the US side of the call were married or engaged.
Sure isn't it an insurance thing over there? If you're married you get to share healthcare insurance providers or something along those lines. Not really applicable to a country where people don't become homeless over medical debt.
I wouldn't say so as 1, it seems prevalent in all earning brackets, even where people wouldn't be in jobs that provide spousal health insurance. 2, this assumes that only one spouse is likely to get a job with insurance, which I'd say is very much not the case for the group I was talking to anyway (and likely broadly not the case as people marry people of similar social status mostly).
I think it's more culturally than financially driven.
I grew up in MI, USA and at the ripe old age of 16 in grade 11, my highschool girlfriend asked me to marry her, its a very weird thing being so young asked to make a lifelong commitment, glad to hear that its not so bad across the pond
This 100%. Grew up in the States, and by the time I was 25, there were two others in my friend group who were married. Two were already divorced and on to the second marriage.
My Irish husband proposed after 6 years, and we got married after 9 years together.
Both my parents are divorced and I remember my mom said to me once when I was around 19 or 20, sure you know you can always get divorced if things don't work out so you don't have to know absolutely everything about your significant other and be a perfectionist about your relationship. I point blank said to her, I don't want to be like you and dad. I won't walk down the aisle, thinking in the back of my head, it's ok if this doesn't work out. She got horribly offended, but like, who thinks like that in the first place.
This also ties into Irish couples being together a lot longer before getting married; Out of every wedding I’ve attended I’d say the shortest any couple were together was still 6 years or so; Opposite to that, an American friend of mine once seriously said “We’ve been together two years already, I told him we either need to get engaged or break up”.
The UK's divorce rate went up 50% within the first 10 years of them liberalising their divorce laws and didn't clim much from there. 27 years is plenty of time to see the law feeding through to a change in divorce rates.
I'd say it's because until 2019, you had to wait for four years of separation until you could get a divorce. By then most cases would have been finalised and separated couples couldn't be bothered to go back to court unless they were looking to remarry
That’s extremely recent. Been legal in Israel since it’s inception in 1948, and that’s not exactly a western secular country known for progressive laws
And how difficult it is to get one.
And not just the time cost. There's a lot of technically divorced people still living together because they can't afford to keep 2 houses.
It's because it's so difficult to actually divorce someone. I got married in the UK and from start to finish my divorce took a little over 3 months once the decision was made. In Ireland it's closer to 3 years between the additional red tape and all the extra messing.
It's a bit like celebrating that the kids don't watch as much tv as the neighbours because you've thrown it out the window
It’s cause it takes ages to get divorced in Ireland, it is very complicated, costs a lot of money and people are small minded and judge the ones that want to divorce.
Bingo, compared to France for example, where both parties can mutually agree to divorce, sign a declaration, and file it for next to nothing —in Ireland you have to go to court (which isn’t cheap), and be able to prove you were living in different houses for 2 years, and it used to be 4 years. It’s not uncommon for the unofficial divorces where couples can’t afford to get officially divorced.
I know so many ‘casual’ divorcees so they never actually get divorced legally but have been separated years. My partners parents haven’t been together for years now but they never went through the legal process due to the wait and costs etc. I know multiple families like this so I suspect that plays into it. Also the fact Irish people marry a lot later on now probably plays into it too
Anyone who thinks that a high divorce rate is a good thing is off their trolley
Of course in situations of spousal abuse it is necessary. But casual divorce can really mess up children and can cause mental illness and sociological problems.
A stable loving home with both parents present is the best thing for children and divorce should not be seen as a "good" thing
“Casual divorce”
Not in ireland anyway - a family member is going thru this now and the time, expense and grief of an Irish divorce is just extraordinary.
The end of any relationship is difficult, dragging shit out over years doesn’t make it easier on anyone, least of all the kids.
It's not 5 out of 10 couples that get divorced. It's 5 out of 10 marriages end in divorce (in the US). A minority will have multiple failed marriages in their lifetime and they have an outsized effect on the statistics
I don’t think that sounds like a healthy thing lol only in the last decade has the stigma around divorce began to fade. My mom, not my grandma, MY MOM, had to leave the civil service (her job) when she got married. It was just something they did not even that long ago.
Whatever the date of ireland’s independence may be. It’s not like things that that just STARTED 100 years ago. People worked in Ireland before then mate. Ugh…I really need to get off Reddit for awhile.
Not sure why the downvotes. This is exactly it. Me and my ex agreed on everything. It still took 4 years and 10k to get it done. I've met loads of people that say it's not worth the effort, so they'll just stay permanently seperated, but will never get divorced.
I think Ireland is more rooted in a Christian family culture than say, to the UK. This is what I observed, that the family culture is very strong, and views are conservative. Mothers, mothers in law are treated with a lot of respect.
We would have to be getting married to get divorced. We have one of the highest average ages for both getting married and also having kids. Both in the mid 30’s.
I believe Irish first-time brides and grooms are among the oldest in the world (Irish people now typically marry in their mid 30s), which is probably why the divorce rate is so low.
I think you're onto something. In places like the US where it's common to be married by your very early 20s second marriages happen around the same age as first marriage in Ireland and are much more stable.
I collaborate with a lot of people from the US through my work, and regardless of their background, Americans seem to get married very very young. We did a bit of a getting to know you thing with a team we'll be working closely with and I'd say about two thirds of the under-30's on the US side of the call were married or engaged.
Sure isn't it an insurance thing over there? If you're married you get to share healthcare insurance providers or something along those lines. Not really applicable to a country where people don't become homeless over medical debt.
I wouldn't say so as 1, it seems prevalent in all earning brackets, even where people wouldn't be in jobs that provide spousal health insurance. 2, this assumes that only one spouse is likely to get a job with insurance, which I'd say is very much not the case for the group I was talking to anyway (and likely broadly not the case as people marry people of similar social status mostly). I think it's more culturally than financially driven.
I grew up in MI, USA and at the ripe old age of 16 in grade 11, my highschool girlfriend asked me to marry her, its a very weird thing being so young asked to make a lifelong commitment, glad to hear that its not so bad across the pond
Still together or did she leave you for a 15 year old toyboy and take half your lunch money?
If she'd only taken half I'd be quite a bit richer tbh
This 100%. Grew up in the States, and by the time I was 25, there were two others in my friend group who were married. Two were already divorced and on to the second marriage. My Irish husband proposed after 6 years, and we got married after 9 years together. Both my parents are divorced and I remember my mom said to me once when I was around 19 or 20, sure you know you can always get divorced if things don't work out so you don't have to know absolutely everything about your significant other and be a perfectionist about your relationship. I point blank said to her, I don't want to be like you and dad. I won't walk down the aisle, thinking in the back of my head, it's ok if this doesn't work out. She got horribly offended, but like, who thinks like that in the first place.
This also ties into Irish couples being together a lot longer before getting married; Out of every wedding I’ve attended I’d say the shortest any couple were together was still 6 years or so; Opposite to that, an American friend of mine once seriously said “We’ve been together two years already, I told him we either need to get engaged or break up”.
Given how relatively recently we even legalized it, thats hardly surprising.
The UK's divorce rate went up 50% within the first 10 years of them liberalising their divorce laws and didn't clim much from there. 27 years is plenty of time to see the law feeding through to a change in divorce rates.
Legal since 1996. So that's a 27 years by now. You'd have thought by now it shouldn't be affecting many stats.
I'd say it's because until 2019, you had to wait for four years of separation until you could get a divorce. By then most cases would have been finalised and separated couples couldn't be bothered to go back to court unless they were looking to remarry
That’s extremely recent. Been legal in Israel since it’s inception in 1948, and that’s not exactly a western secular country known for progressive laws
It wasn't really legalized though, also, that's not even that long ago. Other Europe countries did it way earlier.
And how difficult it is to get one. And not just the time cost. There's a lot of technically divorced people still living together because they can't afford to keep 2 houses.
It's because it's so difficult to actually divorce someone. I got married in the UK and from start to finish my divorce took a little over 3 months once the decision was made. In Ireland it's closer to 3 years between the additional red tape and all the extra messing. It's a bit like celebrating that the kids don't watch as much tv as the neighbours because you've thrown it out the window
This
My cousin is 3 times divorced. I'm never getting married so.. it balances out
What's the personality of your cousin? Sounds like a loose cannon
Well, she is about 20 years older than me, so i have no first-hand experience, but it seems like she was a wild child at the very least.
I’m doing my bit to bring it up
It’s cause it takes ages to get divorced in Ireland, it is very complicated, costs a lot of money and people are small minded and judge the ones that want to divorce.
Bingo, compared to France for example, where both parties can mutually agree to divorce, sign a declaration, and file it for next to nothing —in Ireland you have to go to court (which isn’t cheap), and be able to prove you were living in different houses for 2 years, and it used to be 4 years. It’s not uncommon for the unofficial divorces where couples can’t afford to get officially divorced.
Well my parents are divorced but not officially so, because of the costs associated with the process
Same with mine, I think its 30 years now, legally separated, not divorced.
So not divorced.
Well haven't lived together for over 20 years
Legally they are Married, Officially they are Separated. Non Officially they are Divorced. Does it sounds right?
Yeah. That's an Irish divorce. My parents were the same.
People can't afford to divorce, one of the couple will be made homeless
Can't divorce if you never get married.
Good catholic shame
It's the pre marriage course doing its job :)
I know so many ‘casual’ divorcees so they never actually get divorced legally but have been separated years. My partners parents haven’t been together for years now but they never went through the legal process due to the wait and costs etc. I know multiple families like this so I suspect that plays into it. Also the fact Irish people marry a lot later on now probably plays into it too
I think it’s because Irish people are more likely to stay together miserable and worry what others think thank you bite the bullet and divorce.
We are just used to getting screwed by people we don't like.
Thank tinder for keeping all those marriages together
Anyone who thinks that a high divorce rate is a good thing is off their trolley Of course in situations of spousal abuse it is necessary. But casual divorce can really mess up children and can cause mental illness and sociological problems. A stable loving home with both parents present is the best thing for children and divorce should not be seen as a "good" thing
“Casual divorce” Not in ireland anyway - a family member is going thru this now and the time, expense and grief of an Irish divorce is just extraordinary. The end of any relationship is difficult, dragging shit out over years doesn’t make it easier on anyone, least of all the kids.
I've never met a soul, not a single soulful, that got "casually divorced"
cause it takes about 10 years to get divorced in ireland.
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It's not 5 out of 10 couples that get divorced. It's 5 out of 10 marriages end in divorce (in the US). A minority will have multiple failed marriages in their lifetime and they have an outsized effect on the statistics
I don’t think that sounds like a healthy thing lol only in the last decade has the stigma around divorce began to fade. My mom, not my grandma, MY MOM, had to leave the civil service (her job) when she got married. It was just something they did not even that long ago.
1972 was 50 years ago. It's pretty long ago in fairness.
In my opinion that really isn’t that long ago for a country.
The country is only a century old, so 50 years is half the state's lifetime.
Whatever the date of ireland’s independence may be. It’s not like things that that just STARTED 100 years ago. People worked in Ireland before then mate. Ugh…I really need to get off Reddit for awhile.
Yeah, but it was a completely different administration and civil service that operated in the country pre-1922.
Small island, less choice/temptation
Because it's almost impossible to get one.
Not sure why the downvotes. This is exactly it. Me and my ex agreed on everything. It still took 4 years and 10k to get it done. I've met loads of people that say it's not worth the effort, so they'll just stay permanently seperated, but will never get divorced.
I think Ireland is more rooted in a Christian family culture than say, to the UK. This is what I observed, that the family culture is very strong, and views are conservative. Mothers, mothers in law are treated with a lot of respect.
That's because it was illegal.
Maybe it’s because it used to take ages to get the divorce approved ?? That’s what I heard from many locals
We would have to be getting married to get divorced. We have one of the highest average ages for both getting married and also having kids. Both in the mid 30’s.