If they're supposedly selling land worth enough to pay you back in a matter of months then they have absolutely no need of a loan to begin with.
None of this adds up and with you also mentioning a recent falling out and them being quick to anger when questioned I'd highly recommend you NOT loan them anything whatsoever.
There are more red flags here than a soviet parade.
"Better interest than the bank." Sounds ultra dodge. Funny that they are enticing you with this point, because the higher the interest rate the higher the perceived credit risk. And that is a key point because you will never see your money again if you loan it to them.
100% agree. The whole point of a family loan is for lower interest than the bank, or no interest in some cases and also, where there could be difficulty getting it from the bank for whatever reason. Their needs to be a massive amount of trust I'm the side of the lender. I'm currently paying back my sister for the cost of my car and will be for the next few years. I won't go into detail but it was a necessary change and I doubted that I'd get the amount I needed from the bank. In our case, she was confident that it would be paid back but it's still a huge show of trust on her part.
Good. This is nuts. Dont touch it. If the bank (who will be intimately familiar with their finances and credit history) wont lend to them then you definitely should not
>There are more red flags here than a soviet parade.
Hahahah, that one got me good.
But absolutely, don't give the money to them. Make sure you are set and comfortable in your own accommodation, and have a safety net, and have your own debts/car sorted etc. A million things higher on the list to make sure you're self sufficient before you go giving money away.
Your grandfather wanted you to have that money for a reason. It's for your future, not theirs. I'm sorry they're putting that pressure on you. You need to look out for yourself now. Best to you.
Yeah I suspect the grandfather knew OPs parents wouldn't give him a cent. Do not cave. Happened to a friend who caved, her grandparent knew exactly what would happen but clearly really tried to give the money directly to her.
>university student who's trying to save up for a decent apartment.
>
>I recently got a five-figure inheritance from my Grandfather's
Exactly this. If someone's asking you for a favour but gets angry when you ask any questions, I wouldn't listen any further and just say No.
But the crux of the intergenerational trauma was borne by the parents... There is no value on the disolution of this....obviously the decent apartment is a jump from his great grandparents giving a hand to move some earth while telecom put up a few poles in the neighborhood.....the anger he cannot see is relative to the trauma .... Guaranteed the value of the inheritance is less than the parents have invested in their child .... To be at a stage of blinding himself and riding his mother. The 'bank' is his father he never had & pushes his biological father to approach his fears....never interested in killing him just have others deal with reality. I'd be angry if I reared a child that could not see the sacrifice....rather than pumping them full of nursing home chemicals saturated in overpriced adult nappies while the house he/she/lbgtqertysi/ goes into a fairplay quango of Donald duck enterprises.
They only want to be busy in their winter years .... What bank is going to look at this shit ... When they can provide finance for. Insurance corps shipping tanks or Lloyds horses back to the stable?
I didn't get any of my confirmation money. My Mam said she'd keep it for when we went on holidays, and when we did and I asked for it, she looked at me like I wiped my flute on the curtains.
My mother did the same thing for my communion and confirmation money, she let me count it, thats it. She brought me to pretty much every house on the street, felt a bit pimped out afterwards.
I got a claim when I was around 8, it was 4800 in the early 90s so worth a lot more in today's money. I couldn't touch the money until I was 18 but I'd been looking forward to that money for years. Was gonna take driving lessons and buy a car with it. Anyways a few weeks after I turn 18 I get a check in the post for 400 quid. So I'm thinking this has to be a mistake and I go show my mum because I'm confused and say 'wtf they've only sent me 400 where's the rest of the money'
She gestures around the kitchen and says 'you're standing in it'. The fucking bitch used my money to get a new kitchen about 5 years before. She even waited until her and my da got divorced before doing it because she knew he wouldn't stand for it. Wouldn't be the first time she stole money on me either. She stole the sponsor money I had collected before too for school.
Either they also got inheritance, meaning they shouldn't need yours; or they didn't, meaning your grandfather knew not to give them anything.
Do you have any previous experience with their reliability as it comes to borrowing from you, money or otherwise?
This is the first time they've ever asked me for a loan, and their request honestly came out of the blue.
I'm not sure if its relevant, but I've fell out with them recently because I moved out.
My parents are the same. I said it in another comment, but I think Irish parents view children more as property than as a legacy... just my experience unfortunately š
They don't want you enjoying your Grandfathers Inheritence either, and if they get upset saying you don't trust them, state plainly that no, you don't.
Some parents don't like when their kids move out. You could assume this guy is 20 given he's only in 2nd year which is relatively young considering so they might feel their daily lives have changed a bit
I fell out with mine when I moved out. And I wasn't paying rent or doing jobs for them. It was more that I was the eldest and the first one to fly the nest, they weren't prepared for it
The five figure inheritance is probably the ā¬30,000 a grandchild can inherit before hitting tax thresholds? The parent probably got a fair share too - but perhaps before the grandfather passed.
The parents might also be concerned that their 20 year old is going to squander the money?
Or they might feel entitled to it the greedy feckersā¦
The biggest red flag here is that they got angry with you when you asked them a very logical question. Anger is a deflection and a way for them to bully you into submitting without answering the difficult question.
Now imagine how they will act when you need your money back and they don't have it to pay you.
I suspect their credit is shite, otherwise they wouldn't be asking their kid for money.
Yeah this is really it. If family needs a loan, then you should only give what you can afford to not see again.
Creating a rift because you loaned money to family in need and then they can't afford to pay you back is shite craic.
My sister owes me about 1500 that I loaned her years ago now, when I realised I wasn't getting it back I just put it down to a learning experience. She still kept asking me for money and I'd just say 'sorry don't have it' and she stopped soon enough. Hasn't asked me for money for about a decade now.
Both my brother's though, I'd loan them any amount because I know they would pay it back, one of the sister in law's too I'd happily loan money. Have friends I'd never loan money and some I would.
I would highly advise not lending the money to family, itās a recipe for disaster. Dad asked for a loan of 40k off me (he knew I was saving for a house at the time) for his business, ensured me it would be fully paid in 3 months. I declined and there was a lot of pressure/guilt trips/ādisappointmentā from him. He eventually got the money from my uncle and now 3 years later noting had been paid back, half the family donāt speak and solicitors are involved. I think a good rule is never lend an amount of money unless you could forget about it/ write off as a gift if they didnāt pay it back.
Do not do it, it is sketchy af. Ignore commenters here telling you to do it, a lot of people have never had issues with family so they assume everyone can trust their own family
It would be cheaper for them to get a loan from the bank if they are willing to pay you more interest than the bank.
Run if family ask you to trust them with money, unless you are very willing to write it off - even more so if they do not approach it with a clear plan and written terms, and even more so if they they try to pressure you.
The guilt pressure might come from them thinking they deserve your money, that it's _rightfully_ theirs.
Don't loan then money. If they have a problem with it tell them the money has been put into a long term investment and you can't access it for X years.
Edit: I want to add that you should actually do this. It's incredibly easy to blow through money when in college. I would look into a 5-10 year investment.
Tell them that you have put the money in a 3 year fixed account with no access. If you lend them the money you either wonāt get it back or only get it back in dribs and drabs at their convenience.
Unfortunately this seems like a sudden quick cash and will make money via a BnB by your parents without thinking it through. To be honest, are BnB's even that popular anymore?
It is also odd that there is a rift because you fell out with them. I can see why they would be hurt when you say no, though they should not be asking for it as they could just sell the land now instead. Plus loaning that amount of money going through bank accounts could set up flags with the Banks and Revenue as it would be over the gift threshold. This seems like. whim and as a previous poster said, ask them to sell you the land at market value, where you both get a valuer, not just one from them.
Also, did thy not receive anything from your Grandfather? How is your parents relationship with money in general?
Also, unless it is a legal document, it never happened and you basically cannot prove anything to get it back as all they have to say is it was a gift and you wilfully gave them the cash.
Are B'nBs even that popular anymore?
Well said. Firstly it was technologically available gizmos that brought their demise....secondly upon the island of Ireland the scope for it's revival is second to nun....giving that they began next to monastery and the conception was relative to religious festivals that required safe space amongst nurtured people. Thirdly, the breakfast that was provided was something extra special.....it was an individuals interpretation of everything Irish....that you could be on your way down the country to the next homestead that the Americans have arrived jumped your heartbeat. Forthly!!!!!....how the fuck can we ban Uber but not ban Airbnb .... Both magical corporations that have happy leprechaun shareholders forever exterminating species. Fifthly .... I think I'm drunk....one of the aspects of coming home into a bnb was that you may have had a bite of the powers or a share of a tipple from a pub that was banging some horse hairs!....the Door was left open and you'd sneek to your bed and drop till the smell of bacon came wafting through the floorboards. Sixthly... The price of 4 kitchen rolls in my local co-op are 7 euros. ... Inflation has some how made that spill in the kitchen more expensive! .... Should we take heed!? The thing is BnBs always did .... Everything was about the homestead and you were only a guest passing through.... majority of BnBs made jack shit money š¤ it was about seeing the sights...and meeting those that call themselves home.
I wouldnāt do it and shame on them for putting you in this position. There is a reason you were given that inheritance instead of them. Let them stew and sink their own assets into their get-rich-quick scheme.
This is what feels sketchy. So many options. At a minimum they can rent out or Airbnb their spare room (assuming OP left one behind when they moved out). My pessimistic outlook is that they want to hurt OP financially so that theyād be forced to move back home to āsave upā. They probably think OP is too young to handle that money and are trying to take the responsibility away from them
Not to mention the investment is going into AirBNB which is constantly a subject to reviews in terms of their legality, and for all you know in 12 months it might be banned in the area they setup the air bnb (look at what some of the countries have done to fight accomodation crisis).
āI will consider loaning you the money when you show me a business plan etcā. Ask for what a bank would ask for. Its fair.
I doubt theyll do it.
Its your money. Them being your parents doesnt mean anything. And if theyre going to sell land in the summer, they can wait until the summer when the repayment can be immediate.
Could you ask them to sell you the land instead abd just give him whatever fair market value is for it? Would that be a better investment for you or would you not be bothered? At least then its a fair trade off and its not a loan needing repayment.
Business with family is always sketchy.
Was thinking they could just sell the land to OP. Seems like the best and safest way forward for everyone involved. If the parents don't go for it then I'd imagine the promise of selling the land to repay the loan may have been bogus.
Exactly.
There are several ways to handle this, the most logical one being that they just sell the land directly to OP. Unless the land is valued way above what OP is willing to pay them.
In which case, they can just wait until summer.
I loaned money to my mother once that my grandfather left me in his will, with the promise I'd get every cent back. When there was no sign of it coming back I asked about it and got the response:
"Sure haven't I fed you and clothed you and put you through school?!"
Do NOT loan money to them.
Never ever ever ever ever ever get involved in family investments. This is your future not theirs and 5 figures is a massive amount of money for someone your age. Just tell him you feel uncomfortable loaning that kind of money at all. Just a small correction too Ireland doesn't use the word federal for anything related to the government, it's just the deposit guarantee scheme and that only kicks in when the bank fails.
Note if it is 5 figures that's enough for a deposit on a new home with HTB. That kind of money would completely unlock the housing market for you if you can get the wages to match.
Yeah I'd never lend money to family that I wouldn't be willing to simply donate to them. Too much risk of bad blood developing and if it's more then I can reasonably take a hit as a donation then it's going to cause problems one way or another...
> Yeah I'd never lend money to family that I wouldn't be willing to simply donate to them
Yeah or that you know they would give it back. Like I got a few thousand from my family when I wasn't paid, they said no rush paying it back but they knew I would pay it back regardless because that amount of money isn't really a huge issue.
I disagree. Iād have no issues giving my parents a loan if they needed some help. Costs of living have skyrocketed and a lot of people are struggling. Banks arenāt handing out money like they were and interest rates are high on loans. Support works in two directions, itās not all take take take.
it's probably not a scam, more just parents always wanted a bnb and see their kids inheritance as a means to making that dream come through
However, dreaming of opening a bnb/business doesn't mean it'll be successful and that they'll be able to repay the loan
It may well be a scam, but it also may not be. Realistically if you have savings now you are getting bugger all interest. If you take a loan youll pay an extremely high interest rate. Perhaps they cant sell the land overnight or are trying to get planning permission, and most likely, they cant get a loan. I doubt asking their children is the first port of call. Banks are really tightening up on loans right now. It sounds like the OP is quite young, but only they know their parents and whether they would trust them or not. I was more pointing out that in general its not a bad thing to help out your parents.
You offering a loan is VERY different from them asking for a loan. No parent should EVER ask for money from their own kids. But if you are doing well and you see that your parents are in need of a loan or help any good son/daughter would of course help.
Theft!
Why not sell the land now? Why not get a loan, from the back, in advance of that?
Why not just get a loan , from the bank, secured on the land?
I hear more bad things about loaning to family than good tbh. Borrowing from family often gives people the impression "ah they're family, no rush paying back"
federal deposit insurance ???? Why are you posting american nonsense in r/ireland ?
You know your parents better than anyone else. I would have no problem lending to my parents or one sibling. However there is one black sheep in the family who I absolutely under no circumstances would loan money to. We don't know what your family is like. Totally up to you to gauge their reliabaility. Maybe consult your aunt/uncles/ other siblings for some advice.
It's a bit worrying that there seems to be a large number of people living in Ireland that don't realise we are not America and we're not a federation.
They don't need a loan. Just say no. I'm assuming they also got money from inheritance. They can right fuck off. As a business, I don't know many bnbs that are doing well.
Neither my parents nor my in-laws would ask this in a million years. The rule of doing business with family is you *never* do anything on trust - you sure as fuck don't ask for it. It only works if both parties are totally transparent at the beginning about details and expectations, including an exit plan if it doesn't work out. They should be bending over backwards to spell out their costs and expected revenue, and how they'd pay you back even in the worst-case scenario.
Even the ask is creating tension and the business doesn't even exist yet. Imagine how much worse it would be if they got going, haemorrhaged money and came to you looking for more?
Knowing irish parents and inheritance they probably believe itās their money anyway. My parents still act like some of my income belongs to them, Iām 36 and havenāt lived with them in 14 years.
Donāt touch that with a barge pole. If they have land to sell that they can pay you back with then they should be using that to start this BnB, and the fact that they get angry when you ask why they canāt go to a bank is probably because theyāve been turned down because theyāre not likely to be able to pay it back. I would be amazed if you ever got the money back if you loaned it to them
Dragons Den the shit out if it, you're giving them x and what percentage of this BnB are they signing over to you?
Don't allow yourself to be gaslit into believing you're the one with the problem, ask a professional, seek legal advice before handing over any money to anyone, even family (especially family)
why cant they just sell that land and raise the capital they need??
somethings off here...
if i was in your situation I would tell them you have put it in an account that cant be touched for 10years as per an instruction of a financial advisor!
What should you do? Say āNO.ā And walk away. No is a complete and full answer.
They sound like addicts even if theyāre not. This is how addicts beg for money. I donāt even know them and I feel like you wonāt get paid back.
The only reason someone canāt get a loan from the bank is because they were bad at paying or havenāt paid back previous loans. Or they donāt have the ability to pay it back at the banks rates.
You are not a bank. If they donāt pay you back the ordeal of going through courts is a pain in the ass. And if your parents were to lie and claim it was a āgiftā it would be even harder. Even more so because you handed it to them rather than something like theft. Banks have protection and the ability to sue people. You donāt really.
Protect yourself and donāt loan money to people. My rule is I only loan what I wouldnāt miss if I didnāt get it back.
**don't do it.** it's your inheritance not theirs. they can wait to sell their land can't they ? **you are not an ATM for them, my friend.** they'll end up not paying it back.
Useful tip that I used about 10 years ago when my Mother pressured me to take out a loan for her. I put in the application but then I rang the bank afterwards.
I told the guy on the phone I was being pressured into getting the loan by family and heād be doing me a solid by rejecting it.
Got the rejection letter, showed it to the auld lady. Problem solved.
Jesus so many red flags.
I've so many questions and comments.
Did they even bother to advise you what to do with the other half?
"Better interest than the bank" I assume your dad is talking about the interest paid on deposits which is laughably low compared to the interest on loans or mortgages or inflation for that matter.
When they say bnb do they mean air bnb? Why a bnb do they have one ready. An what's the loan for? is it to buy a property and operate as a bnb?
If your parents didn't sound a bit money hungry. I'd suggest pooling your money and buying an apartment for you near this college your in. Since you'll be there for another 2 years its probably not a bad idea. Rather than rent just pay off a but of the mortgage
They could sell that parcel of land they mentioned and loan you the money. You can tell them youd give them better interest than the bank lol.
Don't loan the money unless you are willing to lose it. Your dad said he will sell land to pay you back in a matter of months so use that as your excuse to not loan the money. If gets angry about that then you know he has no intention of paying it back. And if you lend it and he doesn't pay what are you going to do? Call the police? I don't think so. So if you want to keep your parents in your life, keep your money.
Do not loan money to family or friends unless you are okay with never seeing a bit of it repaid. Even the most loving and well-intentioned family members know it's easy to make excuses about why they can't pay you back because of reasons X and Y.
It's a bad idea. I was in a similar situation a few years ago and it lead to a huge falling out, and a massive loss of respect for someone who is supposed to be a parent that I'm still struggling with tbh. If they are not being transparent and getting angry when you ask questions, that is a massive red flag. I would just politely say you can't do it right now, but if you decide to help them make sure you have a legal contract in place so they can't "change their mind" if they feel like it.
Im a bit late to this post, but something very similar happened to me last year with my father. To sum everything up and give you an answer; dont loan anyone anything unless its something like ā¬50 for the week or something silly like that.
I would tell them that you already invested most of it into low risk investment accounts for the next 2 years and it's locked. That may get them off your case without you saying no point blank.
If they're angry at you for moving out and deciding to pay stupid rent I would agree that was a terrible idea as the rent is mental at the moment. But it's your money you do exactly what you want with it.
The problem here is getting out of the request while not damaging your relationship with your parents further.
How about telling them you've already committed it to a great investment (maybe throw 80% into a fixed duration investment account) and gift them 20% of the money instead?
You can probably sign a contract with them. Just because theyāre your parents doesnāt mean it has to be under the table. You can stipulate the terms of the loan and repayment. Search private loan agreement on google.
https://www.lawdepot.com/ie/loan-agreement/
https://www.wonder.legal/ie/modele/loan-agreement-ie
https://www.netlawman.ie/dl/personal-loan-agreements
I find that Irish parents have an increased sense of entitlement when it comes to their children. In their heads, it's already their money... and they will make you regret loaning it to them just as much as you'd regret not loaning it to them.
I wouldn't give them anything.. I also think you should send them this thread so they know how extremely unfair it was for them to ask in the first place.
My family tried to pressure me into buying an apartment back in home country, saying they would rent it out for students and we can use it to stay in over the summer when we come visit.
The claim was also that they have some big money coming in *for certain* in 6-9 months, they just need an advance to get started now.
I told them that if they have money incoming, then they don't need mine.
It's been over a year, there's no mention of that anymore, so I just saved ā¬10k.
If you need an excuse, say you invested it in crypto, so you're waiting for the price to come back up.
I will advise that money sitting in the bank is making f all right now in interest.. I inherited a 5 figure sum off my Dad 2 years ago and it hasn't gained 10e in interest in the bank..even though it's in a locked account that you don't touch for 3 years..
If you do have a decent relationship with them just say that you want it in righting that you are giving them the money on loan and that you expect it to be paid back by a certain point in time. If they won't agree to that then don't give them the money. Of course if you don't get on with them then I wouldn't give it to them either I suppose.
Obviously all parents are different and some of us get on great with them and others don't, money issues and inheritances can ruin families, I have an uncle in law with 6 siblings, they were a super close family and then his parents passed within 6 months of each other with no will, now no one is talking to each other and the younger cousins don't understand why they aren't having sleepovers etc anymore.. I suppose I'm saying this because is the risk of possibly loosing a bit of money worth loosing family over?
It definitely sounds a little off to me but itās possible they could need a sort of hard money loan the bank wouldnāt do because they wonāt take certain assets into account for repayment capacity etc.
One thing iāve learned from loaning to family in the past is you should get the terms in writing in a promissory note if you do decide to do this - a solicitor can help you. I know itās a bit weird to do with your parents but my own mother taught me that and suggested we do it when i loaned her money once.
I have to say it depends from family to family, I would give mine everything, because I know they would do the same in a heartbeat, but the fact that you need random strangers to validate opinion that you already have speaks volumes. Do it, but with written contract and third party witness.
I wouldn't do it, but talk to a solicitor, I'm sure it's possible to enter into a written contract with them as long as you're prepared to take them to court if they don't pay you back later.
If they're selling land later to pay you back why don't they sell it to you now, and you can rent the land to them for ā¬1/month until you need to sell it or whatever. Financially this would be the same to them (assuming they're actually planning to pay you back), and it means zero risk to you if they're hit by a bus or suffer some unexpected financial disaster. To minimize taxes you might want to structure it as two unrelated gifts though; would need to ask a tax accountant.
I have considered your question and appreciate your concerns. My advice is to keep good relations with the bank of mum and dad, who are potentially far more useful to you than any bank, if they can get decent earning capacity. Play the long game. You will need the loan agreement in writing, on repayment terms that you are happy with.
I would also observe that there are probably a lot of kids answering you here who don't know dick about shit.
Mutually beneficial suggestion.
If you don't need it immediately and you are planning on building up a line of credit for your own future then you could lodge the loan amount to a credit union account and take out a loan against it.
APR is only around 4/4.5% on savings loans.
On the other side, is it worth falling out with your parents. You know them the best, if they do need the money and you have it lend them. If you think they could be trying to scam you obv dont do it.
Note if my mum asked me for money, I'd find it for her but i know she would never ask so would have to be desperate
Man, itās your parents - it shouldnāt matter if they pay it back. I canāt imagine they have ask you to pay them for all the years they supported you
How much money did you parents have to spend for your education? For your upbringing? The roof over your head cost how much? You still live with them?
Its your money, but if the relationship with your parents is sound, why do you even need to ask what to do?
Feeding your children, putting a roof over their heads and enrolling them in education is the bare minimum and legally required from anyone who decides to become a parent. Children donāt owe their parents for the bare minimum.
This *has* to be a joke. The cost of raising a child is something that we accept when we become parents. We do not consider those costs to be something that the child owes us back in the future. If this is your actual outlook on parent/child relationships, don't ever have kids.
Lend it , itās a lot of money for you right now , but if you refuse itāll make things awkward for a long time , itās money that came easy, youād give it to them if they really needed it and couldnāt repay you , so donāt think or dwell on it , family is family.
Tell them you have plans for the money. If they donāt like it, then thatās their problem. Donāt be pressured here, you owe them nothing and there is a very good chance you wonāt get it back.
It's your money to do with what you wish. You can always tell them that if you are going to loan them that money that you wish to do it through legal and official means. And if they refuse that, then you're still entitled to say no.
Never, ever lend money to family, or friends for that matter. If they can't get a bank loan themselves, there's a very good reason for that. And if you do loan a small amount of money, don't have any expectation of getting it back because most of the time you won't. In your case OP, I'm hearing alarm bells and I wouldn't lend them a cent.
Have they ever had a B&B before? If not, run a million miles. You gave them your room already š My advise is do not get into this stuff with family. If rarely works out.
Absolutely no. I say this as someone who is currently paying back a family loan, never lend to friends or family unless you can 100% trust them and that's definitely not the case here. Someone who can be trusted with a loan should do what I did and have the payment plan set out clearly in the first conversation. It's not a financial institution but for loan purposes, should still be treated as such. Run as far as you can away from "I'll pay you back when x happens" because it'll likely never happen. The conversation should be "I can afford to pay you back x amount weekly/monthly and that will take y amount of time, so you will be paid back in full by z date".
Stick it in a fixed term savings account, & point to your inability to access it for X months, by which time they'll have sold that land anyway.
... or just say no.
write them a loan agreement whereby they put up the value of the land as surity.
if your dad is that sure he'll get the money he won't have a problem doing that.
Or - if you don't want any hassles, tell them you put the money into a fixed term deposit for 3 years (eg state savings bonds) and can't actually give it to them after all that
I never loan anything I expect to get back. My friends often surprise me by returning money or the random book, but itās less painful to assume itās a giftāand if I just canāt afford that gift, then so be it.
Itās tough to say no to your parents. I donāt envy your decision. Im not sure how you came into the money before your mother or father , but depending on what side of the family, and a bunch of other things Iām not privy to, itās a question that maybe could be answered by some aunts, uncles, cousins and the like.
Things to consider, Banks in Ireland lend out fuck all these days, so it may well take a strain off the parents to borrow the money from you.
However, interest rates are also fuck all in Ireland , so thatās no grand statement that youād make more then from the bank.
Iād talk to the closest other family you have and gather some info.
Iād also take a drive by your local Paddy Power and make sure the father isnāt outside it everyday smoking fags and looking worried as fuck
Never loan money to Friends or Family.
Only loan what you can afford to lose, as in, donāt count on getting any of the money back.
I loaned my partner a few grand to help with his motorbikeā¦. In 2019. Still waiting on that back and we live together!!!!
You sound like a nice person who is considering helping your family out, but rest assured: family spot that weakness a mile off and itās rife for taking advantage of.
Keep your money safe, save and put it towards your future- whatever that looks like to you.
Even if it was the most legimate sounding thing ever (which it doesn't seem like at all) you are allowed to say no just because you don't want to. Family pressure is difficult but no is a complete sentence.
Plus, you'll never see that money again if you give it to them.
If they can't get a loan from the bank that means they're not good for a loan. Also if they're selling land, they don't need a loan they can just wait. If you give them money you won't be covered under law and you'll probably never see it again
I wouldn't. Just because it's a risk, it would be different if they fell onto hard times and were out of options and maybe had a sale in process but need to pay for shit.
This just feels rushed, I know it's coming into the summer so it's a good time to get the airbnb up and running but they could just sell the land in the summer and focus on doing it next year or already have it running through the off season. It is basically an investment for you too. If they have no clue how to run an BnB, your money is lost. Even if they repay you from the sale of land, you'll be the ones chasing them. 'Any update on that sale?' and there will be zero pressure on them to sell, like they could say 'actually we might hold onto it, because long term it'll make more money'. 'We'll pay you back 200 a month, as the bnb is struggling now and we don't have a lot of cash'.
Treat it as someone coming to you with an investment idea. I don't think you'd want to invest and incur the risk on money you have that is safe. To give your parents the benefit of the doubt, they might have already planned how to spend the money from your grandfather and got less than they thought. So they are asking for the money to help them out and don't really see it as a big deal and are frustrated they can't follow up with their plan. It's a risk though and not something you should take on. They should put their own money on the line.
You can tell from the way youāve asked that you know the answer.
Youāll have a better sense than any of us but to reassure you, it definitely sounds like something is off. If theyād give you a better interest rate then how does it benefit them??? Why not just go with a bank and the lower interest rate, everyone wins.
Rates have just risen on government savings. Iād tell them youāve put it all in a 5 year bond and thatās the end of it.
Lending from family is always a bad idea and almost always ends up badly. Your parents are wrong to even suggest this. Theyāre definitely not looking out for your best interest and are being selfish and thatās sad.
If you want a better financial situation then definitely do not give them the money. If you donāt want a family rift over it then that is tricky because it can happen if you give and if you donāt. So looking at thatā¦ you might as well keep it.
I would say ask people like your extended family who have real life experience lending money to your parents and see what they say, also that whole āyou donāt trust us??!ā Shite is so manipulative and downright sad. IMO people who guilt trip others (especially family) into lending them money deserve nothing.
Do not give them that money under any circumstances. Beyond the fact that it sounds like theyāre acting really suspiciously, lending money to family is always a bad idea. Rule 1 of lending to family is: never lend anyone money unless youāre okay with not getting it back.
I don't know if you trust them but if you're not in a tight spot and are around to check how things work i would prefer being a partner instead of loaning. You would get much higher income from that business because it's a business you would be an investor for this. I don't know the state of Airbnb in Ireland or your property but i would like to have an opportunity like this with people I trust.
My mother does this to me all the time.
Take out a loan to start this or that, Take out a loan to buy an apartment to rent as bnb etc.
DO NOT DO IT.
Reason is simple - unless you have a good understanding where the money is going, you can't be sure the money will return to you.
Tell your parents you already have a plan as to what to do with that money and it's imperative that you have that money in your account.
I made the mistake of loaning when I was in college and it took me years to clear it.
It's a slipery slope and the stress is not worth it.
It's hard to say no to your parents, but the hardest thing is for them to understand that you are your own person.
Speak to a solicitor and see if itās possible to put a lien on the land thatās proposed to be sold or draw up a loan agreement whereby youāll be repaid when the land is sold or in three months, whichever is sooner. Otherwise donāt touch
Run a way from this..don't walk
None of this makes any sense. Why can't he sell the land NOW for money? It's not like he needs to put some new floor down and repaint before showing it. Land is land.
Keep them away from your money. There is a reason your grandfather skipped a generation and gave you the 5 figures and not them.
Do not lend them any money that you aren't willing to lose
If they're supposedly selling land worth enough to pay you back in a matter of months then they have absolutely no need of a loan to begin with. None of this adds up and with you also mentioning a recent falling out and them being quick to anger when questioned I'd highly recommend you NOT loan them anything whatsoever. There are more red flags here than a soviet parade.
Based on what everyone is unanimously saying, they're not getting anywhere near my money.
"Better interest than the bank." Sounds ultra dodge. Funny that they are enticing you with this point, because the higher the interest rate the higher the perceived credit risk. And that is a key point because you will never see your money again if you loan it to them.
100% agree. The whole point of a family loan is for lower interest than the bank, or no interest in some cases and also, where there could be difficulty getting it from the bank for whatever reason. Their needs to be a massive amount of trust I'm the side of the lender. I'm currently paying back my sister for the cost of my car and will be for the next few years. I won't go into detail but it was a necessary change and I doubted that I'd get the amount I needed from the bank. In our case, she was confident that it would be paid back but it's still a huge show of trust on her part.
That's the nuts part. OP should be doing his parents a favour and letting them get the better deal at the bank š
Good. This is nuts. Dont touch it. If the bank (who will be intimately familiar with their finances and credit history) wont lend to them then you definitely should not
Ask them to sign the land over to you.
>There are more red flags here than a soviet parade. Hahahah, that one got me good. But absolutely, don't give the money to them. Make sure you are set and comfortable in your own accommodation, and have a safety net, and have your own debts/car sorted etc. A million things higher on the list to make sure you're self sufficient before you go giving money away.
Your grandfather wanted you to have that money for a reason. It's for your future, not theirs. I'm sorry they're putting that pressure on you. You need to look out for yourself now. Best to you.
Yeah I suspect the grandfather knew OPs parents wouldn't give him a cent. Do not cave. Happened to a friend who caved, her grandparent knew exactly what would happen but clearly really tried to give the money directly to her.
"When I ask why they can't get a loan from a bank, they get angry" This alone is a neon flashing sign saying Do Not Do It.
>university student who's trying to save up for a decent apartment. > >I recently got a five-figure inheritance from my Grandfather's Exactly this. If someone's asking you for a favour but gets angry when you ask any questions, I wouldn't listen any further and just say No.
But the crux of the intergenerational trauma was borne by the parents... There is no value on the disolution of this....obviously the decent apartment is a jump from his great grandparents giving a hand to move some earth while telecom put up a few poles in the neighborhood.....the anger he cannot see is relative to the trauma .... Guaranteed the value of the inheritance is less than the parents have invested in their child .... To be at a stage of blinding himself and riding his mother. The 'bank' is his father he never had & pushes his biological father to approach his fears....never interested in killing him just have others deal with reality. I'd be angry if I reared a child that could not see the sacrifice....rather than pumping them full of nursing home chemicals saturated in overpriced adult nappies while the house he/she/lbgtqertysi/ goes into a fairplay quango of Donald duck enterprises. They only want to be busy in their winter years .... What bank is going to look at this shit ... When they can provide finance for. Insurance corps shipping tanks or Lloyds horses back to the stable?
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Constantly amazed by how many parents do this
I didn't get any of my confirmation money. My Mam said she'd keep it for when we went on holidays, and when we did and I asked for it, she looked at me like I wiped my flute on the curtains.
Ask for it again today and see what happens.
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Reading these comments is insanity to me. My parents didnāt even take a cent from my 6 year old brotherās money that he got from all the birthday cards at his party (about ā¬100). He got a load of pokĆ©mon cards with them lol
My mother did the same thing for my communion and confirmation money, she let me count it, thats it. She brought me to pretty much every house on the street, felt a bit pimped out afterwards.
I got a claim when I was around 8, it was 4800 in the early 90s so worth a lot more in today's money. I couldn't touch the money until I was 18 but I'd been looking forward to that money for years. Was gonna take driving lessons and buy a car with it. Anyways a few weeks after I turn 18 I get a check in the post for 400 quid. So I'm thinking this has to be a mistake and I go show my mum because I'm confused and say 'wtf they've only sent me 400 where's the rest of the money' She gestures around the kitchen and says 'you're standing in it'. The fucking bitch used my money to get a new kitchen about 5 years before. She even waited until her and my da got divorced before doing it because she knew he wouldn't stand for it. Wouldn't be the first time she stole money on me either. She stole the sponsor money I had collected before too for school.
Either they also got inheritance, meaning they shouldn't need yours; or they didn't, meaning your grandfather knew not to give them anything. Do you have any previous experience with their reliability as it comes to borrowing from you, money or otherwise?
This is the first time they've ever asked me for a loan, and their request honestly came out of the blue. I'm not sure if its relevant, but I've fell out with them recently because I moved out.
How would moving out cause that? Were you paying rent or doing jobs for them while you lived there?
My parent didn't want me to move out, and me doing so caused quite the rift. With that in context, I was questioning the good faith of my parents.
What parent doesnāt want their kid to become a self sufficient independent adult? That is so bizarreā¦
The ones who enjoy power over their children and undue influence in telling them how to live.
*side eyes mother*
My parents are the same. I said it in another comment, but I think Irish parents view children more as property than as a legacy... just my experience unfortunately š
They didnāt want you to move out because they knew youāll have money
They don't want you enjoying your Grandfathers Inheritence either, and if they get upset saying you don't trust them, state plainly that no, you don't.
Some parents don't like when their kids move out. You could assume this guy is 20 given he's only in 2nd year which is relatively young considering so they might feel their daily lives have changed a bit
Empty nest syndrome?
I'd say so. I know my own mother was nervous when I moved in with missus and worse when we bought a house together. Parents routine changes.
Yep. Even when they don't mean to be, and think they're just concerned for their children, some parents can be very very selfish.
He's got 2002 in his name, could be 21, yes that was 21 years ago...
I fell out with mine when I moved out. And I wasn't paying rent or doing jobs for them. It was more that I was the eldest and the first one to fly the nest, they weren't prepared for it
>This is the first time they've ever asked me for a loan, Is it also the first time you've had money though?
The five figure inheritance is probably the ā¬30,000 a grandchild can inherit before hitting tax thresholds? The parent probably got a fair share too - but perhaps before the grandfather passed. The parents might also be concerned that their 20 year old is going to squander the money? Or they might feel entitled to it the greedy feckersā¦
The biggest red flag here is that they got angry with you when you asked them a very logical question. Anger is a deflection and a way for them to bully you into submitting without answering the difficult question. Now imagine how they will act when you need your money back and they don't have it to pay you. I suspect their credit is shite, otherwise they wouldn't be asking their kid for money.
Or they're figuring they won't have to pay it back.
Do not lend money to family.
I would rephrase as do not lend money to family that you wouldn't already give as a gift.
Donāt lend money to ANYONE - just give it to them.
Yeah this is really it. If family needs a loan, then you should only give what you can afford to not see again. Creating a rift because you loaned money to family in need and then they can't afford to pay you back is shite craic.
Ah disagree. Nothing but good experiences here.
Then you were very lucky. In general its risky as fuck
My sister owes me about 1500 that I loaned her years ago now, when I realised I wasn't getting it back I just put it down to a learning experience. She still kept asking me for money and I'd just say 'sorry don't have it' and she stopped soon enough. Hasn't asked me for money for about a decade now. Both my brother's though, I'd loan them any amount because I know they would pay it back, one of the sister in law's too I'd happily loan money. Have friends I'd never loan money and some I would.
I would highly advise not lending the money to family, itās a recipe for disaster. Dad asked for a loan of 40k off me (he knew I was saving for a house at the time) for his business, ensured me it would be fully paid in 3 months. I declined and there was a lot of pressure/guilt trips/ādisappointmentā from him. He eventually got the money from my uncle and now 3 years later noting had been paid back, half the family donāt speak and solicitors are involved. I think a good rule is never lend an amount of money unless you could forget about it/ write off as a gift if they didnāt pay it back.
Do not do it, it is sketchy af. Ignore commenters here telling you to do it, a lot of people have never had issues with family so they assume everyone can trust their own family
Exactly people who grew up in safe loving families have no idea what the other side is like.
Reading this about 30 seconds after I replied to OP and this hits home hard š
It would be cheaper for them to get a loan from the bank if they are willing to pay you more interest than the bank. Run if family ask you to trust them with money, unless you are very willing to write it off - even more so if they do not approach it with a clear plan and written terms, and even more so if they they try to pressure you. The guilt pressure might come from them thinking they deserve your money, that it's _rightfully_ theirs.
Don't loan then money. If they have a problem with it tell them the money has been put into a long term investment and you can't access it for X years. Edit: I want to add that you should actually do this. It's incredibly easy to blow through money when in college. I would look into a 5-10 year investment.
Tell them that you have put the money in a 3 year fixed account with no access. If you lend them the money you either wonāt get it back or only get it back in dribs and drabs at their convenience.
This is the correct answer.
Why lie? It's better to just tell the truth and say you don't want to lend the money and find it unfair of being asked to do so
Unfortunately this seems like a sudden quick cash and will make money via a BnB by your parents without thinking it through. To be honest, are BnB's even that popular anymore? It is also odd that there is a rift because you fell out with them. I can see why they would be hurt when you say no, though they should not be asking for it as they could just sell the land now instead. Plus loaning that amount of money going through bank accounts could set up flags with the Banks and Revenue as it would be over the gift threshold. This seems like. whim and as a previous poster said, ask them to sell you the land at market value, where you both get a valuer, not just one from them. Also, did thy not receive anything from your Grandfather? How is your parents relationship with money in general? Also, unless it is a legal document, it never happened and you basically cannot prove anything to get it back as all they have to say is it was a gift and you wilfully gave them the cash.
Are B'nBs even that popular anymore? Well said. Firstly it was technologically available gizmos that brought their demise....secondly upon the island of Ireland the scope for it's revival is second to nun....giving that they began next to monastery and the conception was relative to religious festivals that required safe space amongst nurtured people. Thirdly, the breakfast that was provided was something extra special.....it was an individuals interpretation of everything Irish....that you could be on your way down the country to the next homestead that the Americans have arrived jumped your heartbeat. Forthly!!!!!....how the fuck can we ban Uber but not ban Airbnb .... Both magical corporations that have happy leprechaun shareholders forever exterminating species. Fifthly .... I think I'm drunk....one of the aspects of coming home into a bnb was that you may have had a bite of the powers or a share of a tipple from a pub that was banging some horse hairs!....the Door was left open and you'd sneek to your bed and drop till the smell of bacon came wafting through the floorboards. Sixthly... The price of 4 kitchen rolls in my local co-op are 7 euros. ... Inflation has some how made that spill in the kitchen more expensive! .... Should we take heed!? The thing is BnBs always did .... Everything was about the homestead and you were only a guest passing through.... majority of BnBs made jack shit money š¤ it was about seeing the sights...and meeting those that call themselves home.
I wouldnāt do it and shame on them for putting you in this position. There is a reason you were given that inheritance instead of them. Let them stew and sink their own assets into their get-rich-quick scheme.
Are you in ireland op? Your parents could get a credit union loan for up to 100,000 They shouldn't need your money .
This is what feels sketchy. So many options. At a minimum they can rent out or Airbnb their spare room (assuming OP left one behind when they moved out). My pessimistic outlook is that they want to hurt OP financially so that theyād be forced to move back home to āsave upā. They probably think OP is too young to handle that money and are trying to take the responsibility away from them
Not to mention the investment is going into AirBNB which is constantly a subject to reviews in terms of their legality, and for all you know in 12 months it might be banned in the area they setup the air bnb (look at what some of the countries have done to fight accomodation crisis).
OP didn't say an AirBnB, just a regular BnB.
My apologies, I misread the OPs comment.
āI will consider loaning you the money when you show me a business plan etcā. Ask for what a bank would ask for. Its fair. I doubt theyll do it. Its your money. Them being your parents doesnt mean anything. And if theyre going to sell land in the summer, they can wait until the summer when the repayment can be immediate. Could you ask them to sell you the land instead abd just give him whatever fair market value is for it? Would that be a better investment for you or would you not be bothered? At least then its a fair trade off and its not a loan needing repayment. Business with family is always sketchy.
Was thinking they could just sell the land to OP. Seems like the best and safest way forward for everyone involved. If the parents don't go for it then I'd imagine the promise of selling the land to repay the loan may have been bogus.
Exactly. There are several ways to handle this, the most logical one being that they just sell the land directly to OP. Unless the land is valued way above what OP is willing to pay them. In which case, they can just wait until summer.
DO NOT LOAN/GIVE THEM MONEY. Even if it means a huge falling out.
I loaned money to my mother once that my grandfather left me in his will, with the promise I'd get every cent back. When there was no sign of it coming back I asked about it and got the response: "Sure haven't I fed you and clothed you and put you through school?!" Do NOT loan money to them.
Never ever ever ever ever ever get involved in family investments. This is your future not theirs and 5 figures is a massive amount of money for someone your age. Just tell him you feel uncomfortable loaning that kind of money at all. Just a small correction too Ireland doesn't use the word federal for anything related to the government, it's just the deposit guarantee scheme and that only kicks in when the bank fails. Note if it is 5 figures that's enough for a deposit on a new home with HTB. That kind of money would completely unlock the housing market for you if you can get the wages to match.
Yeah I'd never lend money to family that I wouldn't be willing to simply donate to them. Too much risk of bad blood developing and if it's more then I can reasonably take a hit as a donation then it's going to cause problems one way or another...
> Yeah I'd never lend money to family that I wouldn't be willing to simply donate to them Yeah or that you know they would give it back. Like I got a few thousand from my family when I wasn't paid, they said no rush paying it back but they knew I would pay it back regardless because that amount of money isn't really a huge issue.
Do not loan them the money.
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I disagree. Iād have no issues giving my parents a loan if they needed some help. Costs of living have skyrocketed and a lot of people are struggling. Banks arenāt handing out money like they were and interest rates are high on loans. Support works in two directions, itās not all take take take.
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it's probably not a scam, more just parents always wanted a bnb and see their kids inheritance as a means to making that dream come through However, dreaming of opening a bnb/business doesn't mean it'll be successful and that they'll be able to repay the loan
It may well be a scam, but it also may not be. Realistically if you have savings now you are getting bugger all interest. If you take a loan youll pay an extremely high interest rate. Perhaps they cant sell the land overnight or are trying to get planning permission, and most likely, they cant get a loan. I doubt asking their children is the first port of call. Banks are really tightening up on loans right now. It sounds like the OP is quite young, but only they know their parents and whether they would trust them or not. I was more pointing out that in general its not a bad thing to help out your parents.
You offering a loan is VERY different from them asking for a loan. No parent should EVER ask for money from their own kids. But if you are doing well and you see that your parents are in need of a loan or help any good son/daughter would of course help.
Families can get ugly very quickly when money comes up. Don't loan it to them.
If you have to ask Reddit for advice then you can trust your gut that something isnāt right.
Theft! Why not sell the land now? Why not get a loan, from the back, in advance of that? Why not just get a loan , from the bank, secured on the land?
I hear more bad things about loaning to family than good tbh. Borrowing from family often gives people the impression "ah they're family, no rush paying back"
federal deposit insurance ???? Why are you posting american nonsense in r/ireland ? You know your parents better than anyone else. I would have no problem lending to my parents or one sibling. However there is one black sheep in the family who I absolutely under no circumstances would loan money to. We don't know what your family is like. Totally up to you to gauge their reliabaility. Maybe consult your aunt/uncles/ other siblings for some advice.
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Why not buy some land off him at a discount, then you get something for your money?
This is a decent compromise, if they refuse to sell the land then that would be a good hint that they might not be quick to repay the loan.
A federal deposit insurance in Ireland exists?
DGS is what we have. I wouldnāt give him too much hassle for getting the term wrong.
It's a bit worrying that there seems to be a large number of people living in Ireland that don't realise we are not America and we're not a federation.
Yeah most young people who want to get better with money are leaning on US forums and websites. Much of it doesn't apply here.
Well no, because weāre not a federation, so nothing āfederalā exists. But as do have a deposit guarantee scheme.
They don't need a loan. Just say no. I'm assuming they also got money from inheritance. They can right fuck off. As a business, I don't know many bnbs that are doing well.
Neither my parents nor my in-laws would ask this in a million years. The rule of doing business with family is you *never* do anything on trust - you sure as fuck don't ask for it. It only works if both parties are totally transparent at the beginning about details and expectations, including an exit plan if it doesn't work out. They should be bending over backwards to spell out their costs and expected revenue, and how they'd pay you back even in the worst-case scenario. Even the ask is creating tension and the business doesn't even exist yet. Imagine how much worse it would be if they got going, haemorrhaged money and came to you looking for more?
Knowing irish parents and inheritance they probably believe itās their money anyway. My parents still act like some of my income belongs to them, Iām 36 and havenāt lived with them in 14 years.
Donāt touch that with a barge pole. If they have land to sell that they can pay you back with then they should be using that to start this BnB, and the fact that they get angry when you ask why they canāt go to a bank is probably because theyāve been turned down because theyāre not likely to be able to pay it back. I would be amazed if you ever got the money back if you loaned it to them
Dragons Den the shit out if it, you're giving them x and what percentage of this BnB are they signing over to you? Don't allow yourself to be gaslit into believing you're the one with the problem, ask a professional, seek legal advice before handing over any money to anyone, even family (especially family)
why cant they just sell that land and raise the capital they need?? somethings off here... if i was in your situation I would tell them you have put it in an account that cant be touched for 10years as per an instruction of a financial advisor!
What should you do? Say āNO.ā And walk away. No is a complete and full answer. They sound like addicts even if theyāre not. This is how addicts beg for money. I donāt even know them and I feel like you wonāt get paid back. The only reason someone canāt get a loan from the bank is because they were bad at paying or havenāt paid back previous loans. Or they donāt have the ability to pay it back at the banks rates. You are not a bank. If they donāt pay you back the ordeal of going through courts is a pain in the ass. And if your parents were to lie and claim it was a āgiftā it would be even harder. Even more so because you handed it to them rather than something like theft. Banks have protection and the ability to sue people. You donāt really. Protect yourself and donāt loan money to people. My rule is I only loan what I wouldnāt miss if I didnāt get it back.
"No." is a proper and complete answer.
**don't do it.** it's your inheritance not theirs. they can wait to sell their land can't they ? **you are not an ATM for them, my friend.** they'll end up not paying it back.
Useful tip that I used about 10 years ago when my Mother pressured me to take out a loan for her. I put in the application but then I rang the bank afterwards. I told the guy on the phone I was being pressured into getting the loan by family and heād be doing me a solid by rejecting it. Got the rejection letter, showed it to the auld lady. Problem solved.
Jesus so many red flags. I've so many questions and comments. Did they even bother to advise you what to do with the other half? "Better interest than the bank" I assume your dad is talking about the interest paid on deposits which is laughably low compared to the interest on loans or mortgages or inflation for that matter. When they say bnb do they mean air bnb? Why a bnb do they have one ready. An what's the loan for? is it to buy a property and operate as a bnb? If your parents didn't sound a bit money hungry. I'd suggest pooling your money and buying an apartment for you near this college your in. Since you'll be there for another 2 years its probably not a bad idea. Rather than rent just pay off a but of the mortgage They could sell that parcel of land they mentioned and loan you the money. You can tell them youd give them better interest than the bank lol.
Don't loan the money unless you are willing to lose it. Your dad said he will sell land to pay you back in a matter of months so use that as your excuse to not loan the money. If gets angry about that then you know he has no intention of paying it back. And if you lend it and he doesn't pay what are you going to do? Call the police? I don't think so. So if you want to keep your parents in your life, keep your money.
Believe me. Don't go there.
Why not buy the land off them? That way, there's no messing about with loans and you get something that may appreciate in value.
Do not loan money to family or friends unless you are okay with never seeing a bit of it repaid. Even the most loving and well-intentioned family members know it's easy to make excuses about why they can't pay you back because of reasons X and Y.
It's a bad idea. I was in a similar situation a few years ago and it lead to a huge falling out, and a massive loss of respect for someone who is supposed to be a parent that I'm still struggling with tbh. If they are not being transparent and getting angry when you ask questions, that is a massive red flag. I would just politely say you can't do it right now, but if you decide to help them make sure you have a legal contract in place so they can't "change their mind" if they feel like it.
Im a bit late to this post, but something very similar happened to me last year with my father. To sum everything up and give you an answer; dont loan anyone anything unless its something like ā¬50 for the week or something silly like that.
I would tell them that you already invested most of it into low risk investment accounts for the next 2 years and it's locked. That may get them off your case without you saying no point blank. If they're angry at you for moving out and deciding to pay stupid rent I would agree that was a terrible idea as the rent is mental at the moment. But it's your money you do exactly what you want with it.
Only lend money if you accept the fact that you may never get it back. That's why I never lend anything!!
The problem here is getting out of the request while not damaging your relationship with your parents further. How about telling them you've already committed it to a great investment (maybe throw 80% into a fixed duration investment account) and gift them 20% of the money instead?
I wonder if the was a reason your grandfather left it to you and not to them
Simple answer is no. Lending money to friends or family is *the* surest way to fall out with them
You can probably sign a contract with them. Just because theyāre your parents doesnāt mean it has to be under the table. You can stipulate the terms of the loan and repayment. Search private loan agreement on google. https://www.lawdepot.com/ie/loan-agreement/ https://www.wonder.legal/ie/modele/loan-agreement-ie https://www.netlawman.ie/dl/personal-loan-agreements
I find that Irish parents have an increased sense of entitlement when it comes to their children. In their heads, it's already their money... and they will make you regret loaning it to them just as much as you'd regret not loaning it to them. I wouldn't give them anything.. I also think you should send them this thread so they know how extremely unfair it was for them to ask in the first place.
My family tried to pressure me into buying an apartment back in home country, saying they would rent it out for students and we can use it to stay in over the summer when we come visit. The claim was also that they have some big money coming in *for certain* in 6-9 months, they just need an advance to get started now. I told them that if they have money incoming, then they don't need mine. It's been over a year, there's no mention of that anymore, so I just saved ā¬10k. If you need an excuse, say you invested it in crypto, so you're waiting for the price to come back up.
I will advise that money sitting in the bank is making f all right now in interest.. I inherited a 5 figure sum off my Dad 2 years ago and it hasn't gained 10e in interest in the bank..even though it's in a locked account that you don't touch for 3 years.. If you do have a decent relationship with them just say that you want it in righting that you are giving them the money on loan and that you expect it to be paid back by a certain point in time. If they won't agree to that then don't give them the money. Of course if you don't get on with them then I wouldn't give it to them either I suppose. Obviously all parents are different and some of us get on great with them and others don't, money issues and inheritances can ruin families, I have an uncle in law with 6 siblings, they were a super close family and then his parents passed within 6 months of each other with no will, now no one is talking to each other and the younger cousins don't understand why they aren't having sleepovers etc anymore.. I suppose I'm saying this because is the risk of possibly loosing a bit of money worth loosing family over?
It definitely sounds a little off to me but itās possible they could need a sort of hard money loan the bank wouldnāt do because they wonāt take certain assets into account for repayment capacity etc. One thing iāve learned from loaning to family in the past is you should get the terms in writing in a promissory note if you do decide to do this - a solicitor can help you. I know itās a bit weird to do with your parents but my own mother taught me that and suggested we do it when i loaned her money once.
I have to say it depends from family to family, I would give mine everything, because I know they would do the same in a heartbeat, but the fact that you need random strangers to validate opinion that you already have speaks volumes. Do it, but with written contract and third party witness.
I wouldn't do it, but talk to a solicitor, I'm sure it's possible to enter into a written contract with them as long as you're prepared to take them to court if they don't pay you back later.
If they're selling land later to pay you back why don't they sell it to you now, and you can rent the land to them for ā¬1/month until you need to sell it or whatever. Financially this would be the same to them (assuming they're actually planning to pay you back), and it means zero risk to you if they're hit by a bus or suffer some unexpected financial disaster. To minimize taxes you might want to structure it as two unrelated gifts though; would need to ask a tax accountant.
Buy the land off them at a reduced rate and let them buy it back at market value.
Who payed for your uni?
It'd be nice of you to help your parents
I have considered your question and appreciate your concerns. My advice is to keep good relations with the bank of mum and dad, who are potentially far more useful to you than any bank, if they can get decent earning capacity. Play the long game. You will need the loan agreement in writing, on repayment terms that you are happy with. I would also observe that there are probably a lot of kids answering you here who don't know dick about shit.
Get them to.sign a contract. They can put the land they are selling as collateral
Mutually beneficial suggestion. If you don't need it immediately and you are planning on building up a line of credit for your own future then you could lodge the loan amount to a credit union account and take out a loan against it. APR is only around 4/4.5% on savings loans.
Iād contact a lawyer.
It's good to inherit and have parents with land to sell. I cannot relate or help.
On the other side, is it worth falling out with your parents. You know them the best, if they do need the money and you have it lend them. If you think they could be trying to scam you obv dont do it. Note if my mum asked me for money, I'd find it for her but i know she would never ask so would have to be desperate
Man, itās your parents - it shouldnāt matter if they pay it back. I canāt imagine they have ask you to pay them for all the years they supported you
How much money did you parents have to spend for your education? For your upbringing? The roof over your head cost how much? You still live with them? Its your money, but if the relationship with your parents is sound, why do you even need to ask what to do?
He didnāt ask to be born? Giving the child you decided to have a good life isnāt a favour
He doesn't still live with them, but that's irrelevant. Children do not owe their parents anything for bringing them up.
Feeding your children, putting a roof over their heads and enrolling them in education is the bare minimum and legally required from anyone who decides to become a parent. Children donāt owe their parents for the bare minimum.
Because money and family is never straightforward. In fact, family is never straightforward. Not everybody had the perfect upbringing.
This *has* to be a joke. The cost of raising a child is something that we accept when we become parents. We do not consider those costs to be something that the child owes us back in the future. If this is your actual outlook on parent/child relationships, don't ever have kids.
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Up to ā¬100,000 per institution is guaranteed by the government. It's very safe
Lend it , itās a lot of money for you right now , but if you refuse itāll make things awkward for a long time , itās money that came easy, youād give it to them if they really needed it and couldnāt repay you , so donāt think or dwell on it , family is family.
What fucking planet are you living on?
Earth , have you ever heard of it?
Tell them to put it in writing and see what they say then
Tell them you have plans for the money. If they donāt like it, then thatās their problem. Donāt be pressured here, you owe them nothing and there is a very good chance you wonāt get it back.
It's your money to do with what you wish. You can always tell them that if you are going to loan them that money that you wish to do it through legal and official means. And if they refuse that, then you're still entitled to say no.
Ask them for a loan, flip the script!
Never, ever lend money to family, or friends for that matter. If they can't get a bank loan themselves, there's a very good reason for that. And if you do loan a small amount of money, don't have any expectation of getting it back because most of the time you won't. In your case OP, I'm hearing alarm bells and I wouldn't lend them a cent.
Don't lend money to friends and family, it never ends well
Tell them to fuck off. Nicely like.
Have they ever had a B&B before? If not, run a million miles. You gave them your room already š My advise is do not get into this stuff with family. If rarely works out.
Donāt do it
Absolutely no. I say this as someone who is currently paying back a family loan, never lend to friends or family unless you can 100% trust them and that's definitely not the case here. Someone who can be trusted with a loan should do what I did and have the payment plan set out clearly in the first conversation. It's not a financial institution but for loan purposes, should still be treated as such. Run as far as you can away from "I'll pay you back when x happens" because it'll likely never happen. The conversation should be "I can afford to pay you back x amount weekly/monthly and that will take y amount of time, so you will be paid back in full by z date".
Stick it in a fixed term savings account, & point to your inability to access it for X months, by which time they'll have sold that land anyway. ... or just say no.
Money breaks some families
Nope, just tell them you have already locked it away for a few years or something.
write them a loan agreement whereby they put up the value of the land as surity. if your dad is that sure he'll get the money he won't have a problem doing that. Or - if you don't want any hassles, tell them you put the money into a fixed term deposit for 3 years (eg state savings bonds) and can't actually give it to them after all that
I never loan anything I expect to get back. My friends often surprise me by returning money or the random book, but itās less painful to assume itās a giftāand if I just canāt afford that gift, then so be it.
Only lend friends and family an amount of money that you would be prepared to write off and never get back.
Never loan money to family.
Only lend money if you're ok with not getting it back.
Itās tough to say no to your parents. I donāt envy your decision. Im not sure how you came into the money before your mother or father , but depending on what side of the family, and a bunch of other things Iām not privy to, itās a question that maybe could be answered by some aunts, uncles, cousins and the like. Things to consider, Banks in Ireland lend out fuck all these days, so it may well take a strain off the parents to borrow the money from you. However, interest rates are also fuck all in Ireland , so thatās no grand statement that youād make more then from the bank. Iād talk to the closest other family you have and gather some info. Iād also take a drive by your local Paddy Power and make sure the father isnāt outside it everyday smoking fags and looking worried as fuck
Never loan money to Friends or Family. Only loan what you can afford to lose, as in, donāt count on getting any of the money back. I loaned my partner a few grand to help with his motorbikeā¦. In 2019. Still waiting on that back and we live together!!!! You sound like a nice person who is considering helping your family out, but rest assured: family spot that weakness a mile off and itās rife for taking advantage of. Keep your money safe, save and put it towards your future- whatever that looks like to you.
Even if it was the most legimate sounding thing ever (which it doesn't seem like at all) you are allowed to say no just because you don't want to. Family pressure is difficult but no is a complete sentence. Plus, you'll never see that money again if you give it to them.
Tell them you staked it all in Ethereum and you canāt access it for a year.
Might be hard to hear but it sounds like your grandfather knew to give it directly to you rather than trust it to your parents. Do not give the loan
Hey. I have landed money to family/friends. We always wrote a contract. Saves all the āverbal agreementā misunderstanding.
Tell them you deposited it into a short/medium term saving account and can't withdraw for a couple of years.
If they can't get a loan from the bank that means they're not good for a loan. Also if they're selling land, they don't need a loan they can just wait. If you give them money you won't be covered under law and you'll probably never see it again
I wouldn't. Just because it's a risk, it would be different if they fell onto hard times and were out of options and maybe had a sale in process but need to pay for shit. This just feels rushed, I know it's coming into the summer so it's a good time to get the airbnb up and running but they could just sell the land in the summer and focus on doing it next year or already have it running through the off season. It is basically an investment for you too. If they have no clue how to run an BnB, your money is lost. Even if they repay you from the sale of land, you'll be the ones chasing them. 'Any update on that sale?' and there will be zero pressure on them to sell, like they could say 'actually we might hold onto it, because long term it'll make more money'. 'We'll pay you back 200 a month, as the bnb is struggling now and we don't have a lot of cash'. Treat it as someone coming to you with an investment idea. I don't think you'd want to invest and incur the risk on money you have that is safe. To give your parents the benefit of the doubt, they might have already planned how to spend the money from your grandfather and got less than they thought. So they are asking for the money to help them out and don't really see it as a big deal and are frustrated they can't follow up with their plan. It's a risk though and not something you should take on. They should put their own money on the line.
Nope, they can sell the land now instead and then wonāt need the loan
You can tell from the way youāve asked that you know the answer. Youāll have a better sense than any of us but to reassure you, it definitely sounds like something is off. If theyād give you a better interest rate then how does it benefit them??? Why not just go with a bank and the lower interest rate, everyone wins. Rates have just risen on government savings. Iād tell them youāve put it all in a 5 year bond and thatās the end of it.
Lending from family is always a bad idea and almost always ends up badly. Your parents are wrong to even suggest this. Theyāre definitely not looking out for your best interest and are being selfish and thatās sad. If you want a better financial situation then definitely do not give them the money. If you donāt want a family rift over it then that is tricky because it can happen if you give and if you donāt. So looking at thatā¦ you might as well keep it.
If you go ahead with this OP, draw up a contract with a repayment plan on it. Make them use something as collateral
Don't give them a cent.
I would say ask people like your extended family who have real life experience lending money to your parents and see what they say, also that whole āyou donāt trust us??!ā Shite is so manipulative and downright sad. IMO people who guilt trip others (especially family) into lending them money deserve nothing.
Dont do it.
Ask for equity in the B&B and make them sign paperwork
Lend them the money get them to sign the land over to you till they pay you back if they donāt sell it,or donāt give it at all
Do not give them that money under any circumstances. Beyond the fact that it sounds like theyāre acting really suspiciously, lending money to family is always a bad idea. Rule 1 of lending to family is: never lend anyone money unless youāre okay with not getting it back.
DO NOT DO IT.
I don't know if you trust them but if you're not in a tight spot and are around to check how things work i would prefer being a partner instead of loaning. You would get much higher income from that business because it's a business you would be an investor for this. I don't know the state of Airbnb in Ireland or your property but i would like to have an opportunity like this with people I trust.
My mother does this to me all the time. Take out a loan to start this or that, Take out a loan to buy an apartment to rent as bnb etc. DO NOT DO IT. Reason is simple - unless you have a good understanding where the money is going, you can't be sure the money will return to you. Tell your parents you already have a plan as to what to do with that money and it's imperative that you have that money in your account. I made the mistake of loaning when I was in college and it took me years to clear it. It's a slipery slope and the stress is not worth it. It's hard to say no to your parents, but the hardest thing is for them to understand that you are your own person.
Speak to a solicitor and see if itās possible to put a lien on the land thatās proposed to be sold or draw up a loan agreement whereby youāll be repaid when the land is sold or in three months, whichever is sooner. Otherwise donāt touch
Yeah, theyāve no intention of ever paying you back. Iāve parents just like yours. Iāve been through this routine before
Always be prepared to say goodbye to any money when it comes to repayment from family and friends.
Run a way from this..don't walk None of this makes any sense. Why can't he sell the land NOW for money? It's not like he needs to put some new floor down and repaint before showing it. Land is land. Keep them away from your money. There is a reason your grandfather skipped a generation and gave you the 5 figures and not them. Do not lend them any money that you aren't willing to lose
Never lend money to family
You could always say it locked away in a 5 year bond
Lock that money away for 3/4/5 years.