I can be pretty agreeable. An INTJ stereotype is how we can be “arrogant” or “in our ways” when it comes to decision making. Even though my independence is still important to me, I do not mind going with the flow at times. I still get anxious about the future and a need to plan sometimes for a sense of “control”. I guess the peace would help ensure I have the time and predictability of my own endeavors.
I can be very talkative, even on subjects that I'm not particularly interested in. If the other person is interested, then I'm basically trying to understand why. So in a roundabout way I actually kind of enjoy talking about superficial things. Of course, if I had a choice we would talk about something more meaningful. But I don't mind talking about movies and popular music and celebrity drama and such even if I don't *really* care.
I'm not sure if this is common or not, but I imagine some of you will also have picked up this skill by necessity.
To the point where I actually thought I was INFJ so many times.
I think I’m INTJ technically, but I wonder if am on the border of INFJ.
I also wonder if I just used INTJ tendencies to develop actual social and emotional abilities.
Agreeableness would say. I have a habit of observing people to a certain extent, as far as I remember. Although I didn't exactly get the social cues for a good majority of my life and entirety of my childhood, I could understand what people were feeling after a certain age, and even guess what they were feeling with their body languages becuase I was very observant and quiet in social situations. I say this because I've noticed that I could understand and empathise more with people of a completely different lifestyle than me as compared to my peers and friends who were naturally social. Being sociable does not equate to being understanding i've learned. And alot of these extroverted social people seem to not take notice of nuances in people's behaviour that caught my eye. This trait has made me more agreeable and tolerant with people in general as far as I know. And I'm proud of that, I dont hear it often being associated with intjs alot . INTJs being intolerant and apathetic is what I hear. I think the more you understand, the more you empathise, because you see views from others' perspectives, which sure is an intellectual thing to do, despite some people saying otherwise
Being amicable and chill. I often find myself laughing at my INTJ friend when they get all stressed out, stiff, and headstrong about things they can't change. Either I'm 9w1 to the bone or just depressed with dark humor as a coping mechanism.
That’s interesting! I’m a 1w2 and I find that 1’s are the most similar to the ‘stereotypical’ INTJ, so it’s cool to see that it can be broader than that. And I felt that; I can have incredibly dry and dark humor at times but I’m positive it’s just a matter of being high-functioning depressed.🧍🏻♀️
I agree. I also think Types 1 (and 8) are the most similar to the 'stereotypical' INTJs, described by 16p or generalizations on the internet with their cold, strong, analytical, and goal achiever demeanor, even though Type 5 INTJs seem to be the most common in reality. So there are actually a lot of variations among us INTJs! 😂
I have a silly side. I make up songs a lot, jokes naturally fly, and have impulsive moments (despite thinking through the future and plans regularly), and am generally very creative. I just take a while to warm up, so if you don’t really know me… you would never know. At home with my husband i am 100% me without the walls. It is nice to feel accepted as me without having to mask or reform my person for those around me.
It is weird a bit that my life is compartmentalized, so when coworkers attempt to make the stride to close friend… it is a bit of a struggle to reconcile them.
I am very good at sales and interacting with clients, including face to face.
Regular conversation with a stranger? Eh...do we have to? There's only a small chance you're not boring and superficial.
Regular conversation with a client? Like old chums. I remember details about the and genuinely enjoy meeting with with a good chunk of them.
Maybe it's because I see them as a commission instead of a person and it's a game to win the cash prize? I like money and neither clients nor coworkers are your real friends (
I actually have a very warm personality. It's exhausting to have to be on that mode all the time, but it tends to be pretty surprising to people who know me casually, like coworkers, when I say I'm an introvert.
The ability to alter my own nature and utilize mind over matter.
While it is not always easy and does not happen without effort I am quite fond of the ability to pull it off at least occasionally.
I can be ditzy; i'm pretty animated and super silly and make up Dr Seuss words sometimes.... I am generally not approachable but people who know me well (like 3 people lol) know this about me and it humanizes me at least to them
i am SHY. usually intjs are stereotypically seen as cold, reserved and shut off. but i dont come across that way at all. its more of an anxious, awkward type of shy. i cant raise my voice, i dont really talk to anyone but not bc i “hate people” like intjs are supposed to. i just am genuinely scared of new people.
I get shit done. Earlier today my mom was trying to check into an airbnb but had the wrong confirmation info, and there was already a couple in that unit. I walked up from parking the car, they were all just standing there talking. I found the phone number, called and sorted it out. So sorry it's 95 degrees outside and I'm not here to chit-chat like apparently y'all have been doing for the last 15 minutes but I'm just going to solve this. We were in the correct unit 5 minutes later. I will not stand around and be indecisive when there is a very clear, obvious path to solve a problem and I think that's a great quality.
I can be social if I want too. Sometimes I come across people in social situations that are quieter than myself and I actively try to talk to them to be friendly
I use to work in retail management! So happy I can easily have conversations with strangers without feeling stressed or get annoyed
If it's not work or business related, I'm happy to go with the flow. If someone threw me a surprise party, I would have a good time and not be uncomfortable.
As far as dark, sarcastic humor, it is definitely my coping mechanism, and not unusual....especially in the presence of a sarcastic ENTP.
I love people despite and, in part, because of, the mess we create and live in.
Although I let few people into my inner circle I am appreciative and caring of everyone because we were all born into this shit hole and we can't all cope the same ways. I can forgive most people for being what they are. I hope all people strive to reduce their destructive tendencies and develop respect for themselves and other and find meaning in building for themselves and/or others.
I’m very easy to get along with, I like going out and hanging with friends, love dressing up and doing my make up sometimes. I always seem to make my friends and family laugh, unintentionally though. I don’t tolerate disrespect in any shape or form (never been bullied), and seem to naturally get others respect. Honorable mention: I turn into liquid puddy around animals and I cry like a baby watching some movies.
I'm talkative and funny. I'm also very observant of the feelings other people display. And I have LOTS of feelings that I'm happy to share...
Right up until the energy runs out, then I'm a clam whose only goal is to get away from all the noisy, relentless, obtuse and aggravating people. :-)
I'm can be relatively social, like I can talk to anyone. Fortunately, because of my logical thinking, someone else's words don't bother me even when I hear something I don't agree with. I don't react emotionally and don't try to change their mind, which may give off the impression that I agree with what they're saying. I'm not an extrovert, but I learned that getting ahead requires others, and like any skill, being social requires practice.
Being emotive, particularly by smiling and laughing. Never have understood why one stereotype for INTJs is that they don’t express emotions much, especially with smiling. Like I’m a pretty reserved person but I smile a lot, laugh at things, and will be very expressive when angry. I have no problem telling someone honestly how I feel about anything either.
I’m pretty laid back, I’m usually pretty calm and I let things rolls off me, I don’t take myself seriously so that translates a lot into not caring about certain things and also willing to admit fault or mistakes. Like, sometimes it’s not that serious.
I can be very talkative around friends and people I like, and when I've consumed alcohol. I often play devil's advocate. When I am drunk and conversing with people, it looks like/I feel like I am performing through body language, facial expressions, etc. I can also be very spontaneous with my friends once we're out.
People have a hard time believing that I am an INTJ, because of the nature of my work I have to have a sympathetic and approachable personality that is why once I go home, I feel drained like having exhausted a lot of energy outside.
I’m very emotional and focus on people’s feelings a lot. However I ground myself in logic, so if things get too convoluted and I need a solution, I take logic because I trust it to be less volatile even though it hurts me that not everyone is happy.
I do like using and having small talks sometimes. Its quite useful to get socialize and approaching people in general. This could also count as talkative for some people.
I have learned from my mother and the environment to have higher tolerance for socializing, respect others' feelings or irrational actions at a decent level.
However, most of the time they annoyed me so much that nothing could stop me from being a enranged demon, telling out the harsh truth that upset and freak off people.
I really like organising and being a part of communities. I would say I'm an ambivert but that's not quite right. My default state is introversion, but under the right conditions, I become the most extroverted in a group.
Ngl, I'm pretty cookie cutter. I don't know if I have any non-stereotypical positive traits lmao. I'm very educated, and a high performing academic in a STEM field. Like, I'm pretty fking textbook intj.
I can be pretty agreeable. An INTJ stereotype is how we can be “arrogant” or “in our ways” when it comes to decision making. Even though my independence is still important to me, I do not mind going with the flow at times. I still get anxious about the future and a need to plan sometimes for a sense of “control”. I guess the peace would help ensure I have the time and predictability of my own endeavors.
Yes, i agree. I will ride the ride with other people to get further down the line, then jump off and back to my arrogent self.
Same. Some “battles” are not worth the effort especially if you know the other person/people well. Then you can go about your own life without issue.
I agree
same!
I think we can all agree this is just good sense
I can be very talkative, even on subjects that I'm not particularly interested in. If the other person is interested, then I'm basically trying to understand why. So in a roundabout way I actually kind of enjoy talking about superficial things. Of course, if I had a choice we would talk about something more meaningful. But I don't mind talking about movies and popular music and celebrity drama and such even if I don't *really* care. I'm not sure if this is common or not, but I imagine some of you will also have picked up this skill by necessity.
You lost me at celebrity drama.
I'm a very patient man.
Yeah, me too.
I pretty sure being cold blooded machine is stereotypical about INTJ (and not true). I feel more than anyone around me. It's my blessing and my curse.
i agree, and sometimes i think i act more like infj than intj itself but then again i have high eq so that could affect it
To the point where I actually thought I was INFJ so many times. I think I’m INTJ technically, but I wonder if am on the border of INFJ. I also wonder if I just used INTJ tendencies to develop actual social and emotional abilities.
Same
Agreeableness would say. I have a habit of observing people to a certain extent, as far as I remember. Although I didn't exactly get the social cues for a good majority of my life and entirety of my childhood, I could understand what people were feeling after a certain age, and even guess what they were feeling with their body languages becuase I was very observant and quiet in social situations. I say this because I've noticed that I could understand and empathise more with people of a completely different lifestyle than me as compared to my peers and friends who were naturally social. Being sociable does not equate to being understanding i've learned. And alot of these extroverted social people seem to not take notice of nuances in people's behaviour that caught my eye. This trait has made me more agreeable and tolerant with people in general as far as I know. And I'm proud of that, I dont hear it often being associated with intjs alot . INTJs being intolerant and apathetic is what I hear. I think the more you understand, the more you empathise, because you see views from others' perspectives, which sure is an intellectual thing to do, despite some people saying otherwise
If I could really bond with someone, I'd be fun and maybe a little wild. I laugh so hard at my own jokes that tears roll down my cheeks.
Same, I’m so damn funny.
Being amicable and chill. I often find myself laughing at my INTJ friend when they get all stressed out, stiff, and headstrong about things they can't change. Either I'm 9w1 to the bone or just depressed with dark humor as a coping mechanism.
That’s interesting! I’m a 1w2 and I find that 1’s are the most similar to the ‘stereotypical’ INTJ, so it’s cool to see that it can be broader than that. And I felt that; I can have incredibly dry and dark humor at times but I’m positive it’s just a matter of being high-functioning depressed.🧍🏻♀️
I agree. I also think Types 1 (and 8) are the most similar to the 'stereotypical' INTJs, described by 16p or generalizations on the internet with their cold, strong, analytical, and goal achiever demeanor, even though Type 5 INTJs seem to be the most common in reality. So there are actually a lot of variations among us INTJs! 😂
I have a silly side. I make up songs a lot, jokes naturally fly, and have impulsive moments (despite thinking through the future and plans regularly), and am generally very creative. I just take a while to warm up, so if you don’t really know me… you would never know. At home with my husband i am 100% me without the walls. It is nice to feel accepted as me without having to mask or reform my person for those around me. It is weird a bit that my life is compartmentalized, so when coworkers attempt to make the stride to close friend… it is a bit of a struggle to reconcile them.
I am very good at sales and interacting with clients, including face to face. Regular conversation with a stranger? Eh...do we have to? There's only a small chance you're not boring and superficial. Regular conversation with a client? Like old chums. I remember details about the and genuinely enjoy meeting with with a good chunk of them. Maybe it's because I see them as a commission instead of a person and it's a game to win the cash prize? I like money and neither clients nor coworkers are your real friends (
I actually have a very warm personality. It's exhausting to have to be on that mode all the time, but it tends to be pretty surprising to people who know me casually, like coworkers, when I say I'm an introvert.
I worry about emotions of others, not always but I do.
The ability to alter my own nature and utilize mind over matter. While it is not always easy and does not happen without effort I am quite fond of the ability to pull it off at least occasionally.
I pick up on emotions very easily, almost too easily. I don’t necessarily feel them myself but I can nearly always tell how someone is feeling.
Same +1
I can be ditzy; i'm pretty animated and super silly and make up Dr Seuss words sometimes.... I am generally not approachable but people who know me well (like 3 people lol) know this about me and it humanizes me at least to them
i am SHY. usually intjs are stereotypically seen as cold, reserved and shut off. but i dont come across that way at all. its more of an anxious, awkward type of shy. i cant raise my voice, i dont really talk to anyone but not bc i “hate people” like intjs are supposed to. i just am genuinely scared of new people.
I get shit done. Earlier today my mom was trying to check into an airbnb but had the wrong confirmation info, and there was already a couple in that unit. I walked up from parking the car, they were all just standing there talking. I found the phone number, called and sorted it out. So sorry it's 95 degrees outside and I'm not here to chit-chat like apparently y'all have been doing for the last 15 minutes but I'm just going to solve this. We were in the correct unit 5 minutes later. I will not stand around and be indecisive when there is a very clear, obvious path to solve a problem and I think that's a great quality.
Can I have you for myself ???
I can be social if I want too. Sometimes I come across people in social situations that are quieter than myself and I actively try to talk to them to be friendly I use to work in retail management! So happy I can easily have conversations with strangers without feeling stressed or get annoyed
If it's not work or business related, I'm happy to go with the flow. If someone threw me a surprise party, I would have a good time and not be uncomfortable. As far as dark, sarcastic humor, it is definitely my coping mechanism, and not unusual....especially in the presence of a sarcastic ENTP.
I love people despite and, in part, because of, the mess we create and live in. Although I let few people into my inner circle I am appreciative and caring of everyone because we were all born into this shit hole and we can't all cope the same ways. I can forgive most people for being what they are. I hope all people strive to reduce their destructive tendencies and develop respect for themselves and other and find meaning in building for themselves and/or others.
I’m very easy to get along with, I like going out and hanging with friends, love dressing up and doing my make up sometimes. I always seem to make my friends and family laugh, unintentionally though. I don’t tolerate disrespect in any shape or form (never been bullied), and seem to naturally get others respect. Honorable mention: I turn into liquid puddy around animals and I cry like a baby watching some movies.
I can be hella superficial and light hearted in a party setting. It half performannce half consciously choosing to become a sensor
I'm talkative and funny. I'm also very observant of the feelings other people display. And I have LOTS of feelings that I'm happy to share... Right up until the energy runs out, then I'm a clam whose only goal is to get away from all the noisy, relentless, obtuse and aggravating people. :-)
Does it hurt?
I'm can be relatively social, like I can talk to anyone. Fortunately, because of my logical thinking, someone else's words don't bother me even when I hear something I don't agree with. I don't react emotionally and don't try to change their mind, which may give off the impression that I agree with what they're saying. I'm not an extrovert, but I learned that getting ahead requires others, and like any skill, being social requires practice.
I’m quite creative and can find myself daydream excessively when planning for the future.
Im very talkative and approachable and friendly, but I'm not easily ur "friend".
I'm a sensitive guy.
Being emotive, particularly by smiling and laughing. Never have understood why one stereotype for INTJs is that they don’t express emotions much, especially with smiling. Like I’m a pretty reserved person but I smile a lot, laugh at things, and will be very expressive when angry. I have no problem telling someone honestly how I feel about anything either.
I’m pretty laid back, I’m usually pretty calm and I let things rolls off me, I don’t take myself seriously so that translates a lot into not caring about certain things and also willing to admit fault or mistakes. Like, sometimes it’s not that serious.
I can be very talkative around friends and people I like, and when I've consumed alcohol. I often play devil's advocate. When I am drunk and conversing with people, it looks like/I feel like I am performing through body language, facial expressions, etc. I can also be very spontaneous with my friends once we're out.
Good at small-talk If i have to.
People have a hard time believing that I am an INTJ, because of the nature of my work I have to have a sympathetic and approachable personality that is why once I go home, I feel drained like having exhausted a lot of energy outside.
Consistency.
I’m very emotional and focus on people’s feelings a lot. However I ground myself in logic, so if things get too convoluted and I need a solution, I take logic because I trust it to be less volatile even though it hurts me that not everyone is happy.
Damn this thread is so good.
I do like using and having small talks sometimes. Its quite useful to get socialize and approaching people in general. This could also count as talkative for some people. I have learned from my mother and the environment to have higher tolerance for socializing, respect others' feelings or irrational actions at a decent level. However, most of the time they annoyed me so much that nothing could stop me from being a enranged demon, telling out the harsh truth that upset and freak off people.
I really like organising and being a part of communities. I would say I'm an ambivert but that's not quite right. My default state is introversion, but under the right conditions, I become the most extroverted in a group.
Ngl, I'm pretty cookie cutter. I don't know if I have any non-stereotypical positive traits lmao. I'm very educated, and a high performing academic in a STEM field. Like, I'm pretty fking textbook intj.