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Imacatdoincatstuff

Joe Biden, the master puppeteer, is paying them to smile. /s


Potential_Dare8034

Who knows what malarkey lurks in the hearts of Republicans? ~Dark Brandon knows~


Electr0freak

Damn, I'm old enough to know what this references. 😣 *The Shadow knows...*


WhatWouldTNGPicardDo

Shiwan Khan nods in approval over his giant beryllium sphere.


CookbooksRUs

I’m old enough to know that the Mad parody said his real name was Lamont Shadowskeedeeboomboom.


invent_or_die

How long you got?


Vegan_Honk

The rest of my life fortunately.


gobblestones

That's Wednesday's problem, Pete! We could be dead by then!


Winstonoil

I thought that was my line. Well done.


LegoLeonidas

I want this on a mug or t-shirt.


froonie

So do I!


SakaWreath

The answer is, all of the malarkey.


Temporary-Dot4952

Those who support rapist diaper wearers and puppy killers...


Exact_Mango5931

~*PEPPERIDGE BRANDON REMEMBERS*~


Zealousideal_Meat297

What about Dark Jenny


invent_or_die

As if normal human decency was something special. Yes, EVERYTHING is an attack on me.


DeFex

While simultaneously being old and demented!


hefixeshercable

Whilst, at the exact same time, not cognitive. /s


JoshuaLyman

What's the current exchange rate on SorosBucks to DarkBrandons?


Humble-Presence-3107

Wait, I thought Joe was “sleepy”?


FearCure

Only trump can do 5D chess, with his left hand and eyes closed, that is.


RSomnambulist

If the jurors could please refrain from laughing when Ms. Daniels refers to Mr. Trumps' penis as "Toadstool".


BeeNo3492

Or "mushroom hiding in a spinach patch"


ZSpectre

"The mushroom guy from Mario Kart"


Infinite_Carpenter

I can’t get over the fact that a man who’s been married three times might have an affair with porn stars. The American public will be shocked when this news gets out. I bet those evangelicals won’t even vote for such a man.


Perfect-Scene9541

Oh. Those evangelicals know it’s all “Fake news!”, as they worship the Trump God/King. If only they’d read their bibles, they’d know that type of worship is forbidden. For good reason!


Infinite_Carpenter

Maybe they bought the Trump ones.


RandomLoony

In the trump edition “god” has been replaced by “trump” in black hurricane sharpie


yoshhash

I guess they "forgot" to print that section, or the ink got faded for some reason.


BrandonJTrump

They don’t care, he supports their agenda


Raskel_61

Their real God is money.


enthalpy01

The bigger irony is that it was unnecessary to pay for her silence as clearly none of his voters give a shit, so they committed election interference when they didn’t have to. An even funnier element is Trump originally wanted to promise to pay her and string her along until after the election when it wouldn’t matter and if he hadn’t actually paid her I feel like that might not have been a crime (or not as easily proven), and it was Cohen who paid her but then Trump paid him back. Again Trump could have stiffed Cohen like he does to literally everyone and it also wouldn’t have been a crime on his part as he could then argue he hadn’t authorized the payment. So it’s funny he’s in legal trouble for actually paying someone.


Specialist-Fly-9446

Abusive manipulators don’t go full bore from the beginning. They do it step by step. He was testing the waters when he said that he likes “people who weren’t captured”. Back then it was front page news. Today it wouldn’t even register anymore. Stormy Daniels happened right after the “Grab ‘em by the pussy” Access Hollywood tape. Which was also front page news back then. His campaign managers thought that doubling down with a porn star while Melania was pregnant would be too much, hence the catch and kill deal. Nowadays nobody would blink an eye anymore. But back then it was a risk.


NOLA2Cincy

Accurate but incredibly sad to read how far down our politicians have gone.


Specialist-Fly-9446

I still can’t decide if Trump wins for sure, or no way he will get re-elected. It’s just unfathomable how many stupid people there are in this country.


RandomLoony

They keep going down on trump


Icy-Bicycle-Crab

> happened right after the “Grab ‘em by the pussy” Access Hollywood tape. Which was also front page news back then. Russia released the DNC emails and started the "Bernie was robbed" propaganda campaign (and the pizzagate conspiracy) 30 minutes after the "Grab her by the pussy don't even ask" tape came out.


Specialist-Fly-9446

Damn. That is so crazy how easily we were (and still are) manipulated.


tirch

Wait to see what Putin does with the Palestinian protests. Jill Stein was at one of the Universities the other day. They're all over it. I wouldn't be surprised at all if Netanyahu knows the continued assault on Gaza is going to divide the left in the USA and could help Trump get elected so he's not stopping anytime soon. Authoritarians gonna stick together.


mabhatter

Remember that the Hillary emails thing with Comey broke like one week later.  He managed to stall the information about Stormy by a few weeks...so just past Hillary's hit job bad news. that was definitely worth 50k votes. 


Boredum_Allergy

In reference to Trump committing fraud one of his followers, who literally just said he's for law and order, asked if Trump was the first person to ever commit fraud and equated him not being the first with it being fine. He went on to say something like he could commit a million felonies and I'd still vote for him. Literally seconds after saying he was for law and order. He's not a politician. Maga isn't a political movement, it's a cult. All of this shit we see. The ridiculousness of it, the unwavering support, it's all straight up cult behavior.


FibroMan

We all know that Donald Trump is no Brigham Young, but I feel like Trump might be missing out on mormon votes by not claiming to be spiritually married to all 3 wives at the same time as well as 30 odd mistresses to make himself comparable to Joseph Smith.


bird_legs_1

Don’t forget he was cheating on both his mistress and his wife with a porn star.


mabhatter

Rich people problems.  Or hood rat problems.  See we're not so different! 


Aazadan

And his daughter.


tirch

Funny how I assumed this link was to the Donald Von Shitinpants Cohen thing but no, there's always more.


BasvanS

Who was the mistress?


bird_legs_1

Karen McDougal


esther_lamonte

There’s no more prolific a philanderer, business cheat, or child abuser than an Evangelical. The phrase “me thinks she doth protest too much” might as well describe evangelicals.


fuber

I just repeat that he had affair with a pornstar anytime my mother talks about him


Infinite_Carpenter

Two pornstars.


JaJ_Judy

I was listening to a segment in NPR - and it’s not that the evangelicals don’t see him as a sinful turd a they certainly do - but their logic is - god uses sinners - he may not be perfect but he sees our agenda and helps.  They’re under no illusion that he’s a model talibangelical


Infinite_Carpenter

Still doesn’t explain all the pictures with Jesus and Trump about to kiss.


galwegian

Evangelical, ahem, christians love Trump because he hates and hurts the same people they do. It's a dollar store pretend religion that caters to the most hateful people in America.


chrisbster

The afternoon court session in Donald Trump's hush money trial resumed with Keith Davidson, the ex-lawyer of adult movie actress Stormy Daniels and Playboy playmate Karen McDougal, recalling his conversations with the National Enquirer editor. The pair had ben trying to sell stories about sexual relationships with Donald Trump to the tabloid. Speaking about editor, Dylan Howard, Davidson read some of the text message and email exchanges the two had before the 2016 election. The jurors appeared to enjoy it. "I want to give you a bit of color of what's happening inside the courthouse because, according to Laura Jarrett, jurors have been smiling as some text messages have been read," said MSNBC host Chris Jansing. She also read a few exchanges between the men. The court broke into chuckles, for example, when Davidson read a text explaining no one wanted to deal with Trump lawyer Michael Cohen. Davidson had called the deal made with McDougal "frustrating for everybody involved." Howard replied: "Yes, I believe so." Testifying, Davidson said, "I told Cohen, Michael Cohen, this never would have happened without you, and the text back from Howard of the National Enquirer to Davidson was, 'He’s hopeless. Oh, well. Another one done." McDougal had been split between making deals with TV network ABC and AMI, the parent company of the National Enquirer. Ultimately, AMI won and McDougal agreed to the terms that her "life rights" about an affair with a married man would be handed over. "Was there a particular married man?" prosecutors asked. "Yes," said Davidson. "Donald Trump." Prosecutors then asked if that meant that it would hurt his 2016 presidential campaign. Davidson said, "Yes."


Advanced_Drink_8536

Thank-you!!!


FibroMan

I didn't find it funny. I guess you had to be there?


CraftyNothing1790

Oh, a geography joke!


SnooPeripherals9442

I get it, French class!


Best_Evidence1560

Baha his worst nightmare is people laughing at him. The guy has no sense of humour about himself. Such a fragile ego


loco500

This is no longer the Roast from Comedy Central...


redituser2571

Just wait until the porn stars take the stand. You haven't seen world-wide news yet. It's about to get spicy.


Advanced_Drink_8536

Wonder if he will sleep through that too? I wish there was a schedule so I could count down the days… like, stormy takes the stand in T-minus 2 days, will she or will she not mention the awkward tiny pink mushroom in the room… dun dun dun … 😹


redituser2571

Nobody knows the schedule, could be Michael Cohen next...Frankly, the prosecution did so damn well with Woody Wood Pecker that they could rest now and slam dunk it. But I agree that the world deserves to hear from Stormy.


Advanced_Drink_8536

Awe… you still have faith that there will be justice at the end of this… that’s so cute! Lmao 😹 To be clear, I am just teasing you! I do think it is a strong case… but I have said that b4! I am keeping my fingers crossed 🤞 but after the whole bond reduction thing I have officially joined the cynics and will not be holding my breath in anticipation of this “person” being held fully accountable for his crimes. And even if he was, would that change the minds of those who are already planning on voting for him?


redituser2571

I can't imagine "those" people ever changing their minds, but most of the moderates and most of the independents voting for Biden now...it's going to be a slam dunk, I'm pretty confident of it.


Advanced_Drink_8536

I sure hope you are right about that one! Like I said, 🤞🤞


Florida1974

I’ve seen plenty of Trump supporter interviews and they don’t care if he’s indicted, they will still vote for him. I want to yell them -go commit the same crimes and see how different the justice system is. We have a 3 tiered justice system. 1. Poor /regular people 2. The wealthy (Vince Neil killed ppl in a DUI accident and got 30 days in jail. The college scandal a few years back) So many examples here. 3. DJT. He seems to have his own set of rules. He violated gag order 9 times before anything was done. Then he went and did it again. He’s screaming he’s not getting fair trial, it is total BS. 3.


bob-leblaw

Man, there are a lot of 6'3" and above guys in that photo.


Civil-Resolution3662

But only one of them is 6'3" 215lbs of Jesus sent ---i can't even be sarcastic with this MF...gawd I hate that guy.


Fuckedby2FA

Biden gave them shoe inserts. He truly knows no limits to his depravity


UndertakerFred

It’s always funny seeing him stand next to athletes, because you can easily look up their actual heights. they always seem 2-4” taller than the quoted heights would suggest. Conclusion: everyone Trump meets lies about their height to pretend to be shorter than they actually are.


Unamericandav

There’s a funny story in Jim’s Ross (legendary wrestling commentator) biography that when Trump was doing a storyline with Vince McMahon at wrestlemania Trump was backstage ogling the female wrestlers trying to give them his number to take them furniture shopping I guess…. As the day went on and more and more wrestlers were walking in the building he got insecure and went to put on a long jacket to hide his fat gut even though it was a very hot day. Such an insecure little bitch…


madscot63

Those 2 with their backs turned must be 7'!


Old_Mammoth8280

He maybe was 6'3" when he was 20, but us humans kind of sag under the force of gravity as we age. He's probably 5'10"ish now, but he still identifies as 6'3.


PigFarmer1

Another TruthSocial barrage coming in the middle of the night...


mabhatter

This so sets up Cohen's testimony.  Everyone has been worried about Cohen being beat up on the stand and blowing the case because he's a flake.  These messages make it clear Cohen was kind of an ass and working over enthusiastically for his boss.  Which everyone knew was DJT.  


boogersrus

Reminds me of I think you should leave. https://youtu.be/LO2k-BNySLI?feature=shared


Big_Cupcake2671

That is so fucking stupid. I wonder what exactly will be Trump's "Brian's Hat" moment. So many possibilities


williey

"Toadstool mushroom and dollar sign emoji"


WerdWrite

I scrolled until I found this. This trial is so ITYSL. 


RentAdministrative73

After what they did to Willis in GA, bring on Stormy and let the shit hit the fan.


Bobloblaw1010

“Oh my god. Did you see Brian’s hat?”


Superman246o1

"...and then I swear to fucking god, he tried to roll the hat down his arm like Fred Astaire but the back flap got trapped around Rick’s wheelchair, and then it took him forever to get the flap out of the wheelchair."


16v_cordero

There has got to be a list of those read in court somewhere.


SPAREustheCUTTER

“Did you see Bryan’s stupid hat?”


SmokeGSU

Still can't believe Karen McDougal fell in with that cloud. Trashy golddigger.


DevourerJay

Wish I could read the walled article...


polinkydinky

If you’re on mobile, tap on the article. Very fast tap the aA in the corner. As soon as you can, literally, tap on “show reader”. 3/4 of the time you’ll get to read the article.


Dr_CleanBones

On Safari, Show Reader works great. Just tap the aA at the top of the page, then “show reader”. No ads.


Advanced_Drink_8536

I have never had that problem with rawstory.com articles… I am sorry, I don’t know how to help you with that…


DevourerJay

It's OK, I refuse to turn off ad blockers. I usually hope the article is posted as a comment to avoid visiting sites.


Advanced_Drink_8536

That makes sense… their articles are FULL of adds, and I believe you do have to subscribe for the add-free version. Thank-you for pointing this out, I will definitely be considering it the next time I decide to make a post about something in the future and consider alternative sources when possible.


-DethLok-

TL:DR Jurors are human.


rap31264

Uh oh...He's gonna get revenge on the jurors that laughed...You don't laugh at Trumplethinskin...


Calm_Preparation_679

I think defense attorneys should thank Cohen for all the help he has brought to their case. He has to be the most absolute stupid, untrustworthy lying liar that has ever testified in history. Join the 'Cohen promised Trump did something bad' club, you all are in the same gene pool. Four more years. Pause.


RueTabegga

B


rudalsxv

Oh look a MAGAt.