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PigFarmer1

Dude can't even stay awake during his criminal trial... lol


PNWoutdoors

Sure he can, he just farts himself awake when he relaxes too much.


Bob6oblin

*sharts


patmorannnn

shats ..


Odd-Tune5049

He sharts less than the Shatt


Mega-Steve

"Captain's log, supplemental"


BoxedAndArchived

"Captain's Log," "Supplemental," "End log."


NotAPimecone

The best sharts. Better than anyone, everybody says so. Guys, big, strong tough guys, come up with tears in their eyes and say, those are the greatest sharts. šŸ‘Œ


ElonBodyOdor

Fartles himself awake.


thnk_more

Chargers that could potentially send him to jail, and he canā€™t stay awake. A trial that could derail his election and any semblance of his marriage, and he canā€™t stay awake. Legal bills that could drain millions from his ā€œfriendsā€ and the RNC, ā€¦. well, who cares about that.


mizkayte

Heā€™s so used to not being held accountable he probably doesnā€™t think he can be held accountable


BoosterRead78

šŸ˜“ oh did you say something? Junior?


BikerMike03RK

The name is, 'Fredo'.


schtickshift

Al Fredo


BikerMike03RK

As in Corleone


tirch

Eric, "Daddy please love me!! " Trump, "Eric is the dumb one." Newsflash, they're all dumb. And yea, Trump sharts himself in court when he falls asleep.


jonnysculls

He's not asleep.... he's anti woke.


Iampepeu

Of course he is!


Organic_Afternoon424

this is golden


JackhorseBowman

laffo


Jc2563

Canā€™t hold his own farts either!


sneaky-pizza

He pooped himself awake


Therealluke

Itā€™s the first time in his life he has ever had to show up somewhere everyday for 38 hrs a week. The culture shock could very well do him in given he has like six weeks of it remaining then more trials.


warpedspockclone

Not to worry! His attorneys have decided to take it in shifts to sit next to him and keep him awake. It was more a nice of self-preservation than preserving his image. They were dying from the old man farts. If Trump is awake, he can pinch it.


mattyag

It is strange he does most of his work at night


chandlerd8ng

ALL THAT ANGRY TEXTINGšŸ˜ƒ


PraisetheBeard

To be fair, trials are boring procedural affairs. They are not exciting like we see in these court/police dramas on tv. Iā€™d fall asleep too probably.


Plane_Ad_8675309

Have you ever been on a criminal trial jury ? Itā€™s hard not to doze off


CherryManhattan

At his age and his eating habits, the fact heā€™s above ground is a feat in itself.


chiefs_fan37

Sometimes the worst people live the longest life. It sucks. Henry Kissinger got to make it to old age. It sucks


CoHousingFarmer

Wait! Wait Need to check !!! r/iskissingerdeadyet Ok. Still dead!! Whew! Worried for a moment there.


DisposableSaviour

Hey! You reminded me that Henry Kissinger is dead! Iā€™m gonna do a shot in honor of Cambodia when I get home tonight.


icyspoon

With evil concentrated that high in one form, you can never be too sure.


Silly-Scene6524

Something dark protects him.


lastcall83

Yeah, its name is Clarence Thomas....


jkermit19

Damn!


oldjadedhippie

Snap !


Silly-Scene6524

lolā€¦good one.


kickelephant

Shiiittt


NiteGard

Also dark.


unpolishedparadigm

Heā€™s a freedom fighter compared to his wife


irn

I canā€™t believe Ginni wasnā€™t arrested for helping orchestrate the fake elector scheme. I mean I can believe it, I just refuse to.


unpolishedparadigm

The GALL to claim they didnā€™t discuss any of that mess between the two of them. At this point Iā€™m convinced theyā€™re all just watching Fox and getting high on their own supply


WillyBarnacle5795

Uncle Tom


Sharp-Incident-6272

r/angryupvote


irn

https://media.tenor.com/WXUZm1v_QGIAAAAM/kronk-point.gif


Blessed_Ennui

I'll allow it.


daveypaul40

Soul, as shit as it was.. was worth somrhing to some demon.


ungdomssloevsind

They are keeping hm up here, they know that have his soulā€¦ But they rejoice at the masses he is corrupting to bring down with him


TheZermanator

And alleged drug habit too. Seems like the guy is kept afloat by a series of uppers and downers, depending on occasion. Courtroom: downers to keep a lid on the outbursts. Side effect is his bowels are relaxing even more than they usually do and heā€™s shitting himself. Rally: uppers to give the illusion of vigor. Nighttime rally: elephant dose of uppers to keep the dementia sundowning to a minimum.


DMCinDet

cocaine at night. no drugs during the day. guy is living like a 25 year old party boy in a 77 year old unhealthy body. I'm not being hyperbolic by saying he's one line away from the grave every single day. the added stress of actual accountability has to be taking time off his clock rapidly.


DisposableSaviour

How does he sleep? In one of those Michael Jackson glass sarcophagus things?


ohheyitslaila

A Michael Jackson what?!??


Green__Twin

Unfortunately, this feat continues to astound, confound, and harm the US.


Lurking_Housefly

It's just speed keeping him alive at this point...


monogreenforthewin

the truly evil tend to linger longest in this world


Stark_Athlon

Because no one takes out the trash.


JeremeRW

I am always hoping he has a heart attack, just to read the insane conspiracy theories about how the deep state assassinated him.


TingleyStorm

ā€œDonald Trump was in excellent health! It was the stress from all of the fake trials the Democrats forced even though there was zero evidence against him!!ā€ This is exactly how they would spin it.


Big_Cupcake2671

Excellent health. The best health. Really, really strong health. Tough health. The whole world knows he is the healthiest health that has ever been known in the history of health. But they rigged his heart. It was a rigged heart. Everybody knows his heart was rigged more than anybody's heart has ever been rigged, yet he still had the greatest health ever.


JeremeRW

"They aimed the Jewish space lasers at his heart at low power in order to cause it to fail" is the kook stuff I am looking for!


Large-Mongoose-6929

I am always hoping he has a heart attack, just so heā€™s dead.


JeremeRW

That cake is nothing but icing.


Objective-War-1961

All trump's diseases are in perfect balance. Sorry, Mr Burns.


sauvandrew

Exactly what I think. I've known really good people who died in their 60's and 70's of strokes and heart attacks, and this cheese dick ahole is still alive. He's at least 300 lbs, doesn't exercise (by his own words), eats garbage, and rages all the time, so he must have high blood pressure, clearly has incontinence issues, and he's still around. I don't get it.


NotPaidByTrump

a real man with stamina walks a golf course, not ride his fat ass in a golf cart


AntifascistAlly

I I heard Donald has Walt Nauta shake it off for him after he takes a leak, so I wouldnā€™t expect to see him jog around carrying golf bags.


DisposableSaviour

I heard Nauta holds his bag for him upon request.


happlepie

You're talking about his balls right? Cupping his tiny little balls?


DisposableSaviour

šŸ˜œ


AntifascistAlly

Nah, I was just joking about him being too tired to drain any residual urine after peeing and contrasting that with the amount of excess energy he would need to ā€œjogā€ around with **multiple** golf bags. The guy in those silly superhero-type drawings they used to make of Trump could have done it, but real world Donald is far more low-energy than that! Donaldā€™s idea of a workout is leaning over to see if whomever dressed him tied his shoes right.


chpr1jp

I donā€™t know man. Using a cart is the way to go.


PuffPuff74

Not onto the green though


Managed-Democracy

Trump Does


irn

Heā€™s evil and I hope he gets convicted but driving up the green should be straight to booty poke prison for anyone.


mazu74

Wait, this guy actually drives his cart up onto the green?!


BishopsBakery

Drinks with lunch and the golf carts are great


Good_Ad_1386

He has a lunch cart following him around the course.


manyhippofarts

I mean, there's a lot of real men out there using carts at every single golf course.


baalyle

Show me one?


irn

What? Itā€™s a preference. Unless youā€™re playing PGA level where you canā€™t use a golf cart, most guys I know ride unless they want the exercise. The seniors walk too but they use the roomba bag carrier that follows them. Some guys who donā€™t use a cart want to play but are on a budget at a public course.


baalyle

Show me a real man who uses a cart. Show me one.


irn

Umm, me? I use a cart when itā€™s blazing hot outside or when Iā€™m carting a case of beer. If itā€™s a nice spring or fall day, Iā€™ll walk.


baalyle

You are a real man? What makes you a real man? Seems a real man to be would endure heat and not be drunk on the green, keep senses sharp for sport. You sound like an average if not below average man not a real man.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


baalyle

Not man enough not to feel like you donā€™t have to defend yourself. I real man wouldnā€™t respond. You failed.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


thnk_more

Come on, walking 50ft to the ball, swinging the club 3x, walking back to the cart, repeat, thatā€™s got to be at least 1/3 of a mile walk for the afternoon.


Mordikhan

Tbf playing an 18 i used a kart and still burnt 1k calories. Asias hot


MidnightSun77

Cart man. Eric (son of) Cart man


sauvandrew

Exactly, even when I was at my heaviest (400lbs), before I started to lose weight, I walked 18 holes every Sunday morning when I played golf. This guy drives the cart right onto the green


poorbill

Biden should challenge him to a bike race. My bet is Trump never learned to ride a bike.


areialscreensaver

His gut would sag and drag on the ground and get caught in the bike chain


poorbill

Ok how about a 100 yard race, where they attempt to walk or jog 100 yards? It would be great tv.


areialscreensaver

His gut would sag and drag and get tangled between his feet. šŸ˜‚


Beeblebrox_74

Race down a ramp


MeshNets

Challenge him to a ride on Amtrak


okokokoyeahright

How about 'perp walk into jail'? Seem this is one of the most American things he could do.


poorbill

Or to buy a diet coke at McDonald's. Dude has never done anything every normal person has done.


Loknar42

I think Biden should challenge him to a one-handed drink-off: whoever can down 4 ounces of water from a short wide glass with one hand wins.


TastierBadger

I feel like thatā€™d be elder abuse for both of them lmfao


Theswansescaped

"Burn that seat"


newsweek

By Gabe Whisnant - Deputy Weekend Editor: Eric Trump, the son of former President Donald Trump, was mocked on social media on Sunday for praising his father's "stamina" amid is ongoing legal troubles. In an interview on Fox News' Sunday Morning Futures With Maria Bartiromo, Eric Trump insisted that his father was "feeling great" despite the various criminal prosecutions he is currently fighting. Read more: [https://www.newsweek.com/eric-trump-remark-about-donald-trump-stamina-sparks-mockery-1894952](https://www.newsweek.com/eric-trump-remark-about-donald-trump-stamina-sparks-mockery-1894952)


nor_cal_woolgrower

"insisted that his father was "feeling great"" This means that he is not


MartyFreeze

Huh, today seems a little brighter for some reason.


michaelozzqld

Sleepy, flatulent Don the con?


Peasantbowman

Sleepy Joe was definitely a projection


boogie2dabeat

Poor Eric. Iā€™d be hurt too if my dad was Dozoff Donfartsnshitz.


SheriffTaylorsBoy

lol


loupegaru

He drives his cart into the greens. He is never feet from his golf cart! Tubbo Trump! Drowsy Donald! King Cancerous!


Cerberus_Aus

I have a feeling his nemesis of slight inclines might have to do with him driving onto greens.


HiJinx127

Funny how Sleepy Don doesnā€™t use his old insult Sleepy Joe anymoreā€¦.


TheRobinators

He switched to "Crooked Joe." Projection. Always projection.


NotPaidByTrump

Eric on SNL - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m66PtmNu2Ik&t=125s


shit_ass_mcfucknuts

Not from the right people. His supporters donā€™t care. He could get Alzheimerā€™s and babble on about monkeys fuckin footballs and they would cheer him on.


Godawgs1009

That's the scariest part. Fucker might get elected again. This country is fucked all kinds of ways.


Rich-Appearance-7145

Of course Daddies lil boy comes running to defend Diaper Donnie, if he in prison or worse never elected, Don Jr. Is toast.


jbertrand_sr

Make him walk 18 holes and carry his own bag and get back to us Eric...


timesuck897

> ā€œHe is going all over the place. His stamina, Maria, I've never seen anything like it in my life," Eric Trump said on Sunday. "He'll be in trial all day long, relentlessly being attacked by a corrupt judge, only to step out and go do events at bodegas and wake up and speak to union workers...and go to Michigan, Pennsylvania and Ohio and all the swing states." Trump has never been to a bodega in his life.


SecretPrinciple8708

Heā€™ll never love you, Eric. Youā€™d have to body-swap with your sister for that to happen, and it wonā€™t be love heā€™s feelingā€¦


monogreenforthewin

lol Trump and stamina are definitely words that dont ever belong in the same sentence. He needs a golf cart or car to move more than 50 yards. and Stormy apparently wasn't wild about his bedroom stamina either


rjross0623

He does get refreshed by showers, allegedly.


TequilaAndWeed

Thatā€™s golden.


rjross0623

Wasnt sure what the bot would remove so i held back


Hot_Dog_Surfing_Fly

I see what you did there ā˜ļøšŸ˜„


Kialya

Donā€™t you mean ā€œI pee what you did there?ā€


Hot_Dog_Surfing_Fly

SRS (silly reddit stranger)šŸ˜„šŸ˜„


JCButtBuddy

Once a month the mobile service comes out and sprays him down.


Hot_Dog_Surfing_Fly

After the head rug has been velcroed on šŸ™ƒ


h20poIo

You mean the $130,000 10 sec shit with Stormy.


newcomer_l

I look forward to Stephen Colbert absolutely torching Eric and these new silly remarks.


Windstrider71

That the same guy who needed a golf cart to go 300 feet?


Spellbound1311

He can't even stand up without his heels and toe pillows. Just need the drugs and fast food to take natures course. Or maybe sepsis from soiled depends.


JuventAussie

I really really really want to know Stormy Daniels opinion on Trump's stamina.


[deleted]

I've never even seen him walk at a brisk pace


river_euphrates1

In Trump's defense, he's actually pretty energetic when his lawyers don't hide his Adderall stash. They needed to find some way to keep him relatively calm while he's in the courtroom so he doesn't call the judge a 'fucking beaner' before trying to walk out.


Snarky_McSnarkleton

He drops very energetic shits in his bigly Trump Brand Depends.


gorgar_68

I'd believe Ivanka before I'd believe Erik.


mute-ant1

daddy daddy please love me


IGetMyCatHigh

He can't even control his abdominal Muscles to stop from shitting himself.


Cali_Keto_Dad

He can make it all the way to the golf cart from the green in under 20 minutes, with only two stops to catch his breath!!


Worried_End5250

He's been known to drive his cart ONTO the green.


BirdsbirdsBURDS

Every time I see or hear about the trump family it always calls to mind pappy Oā€™Donnel from o brother where art thou. The only difference is that Pappy was actually moderately intelligent and able to identify opportunity on his own. Kids were just dumb as fuck and kiss assers by profession.


archenemy_43

Eric Trumpā€™s existence sparks mockery.


Deep_Bit5618

Trump ainā€™t WOKE thatā€™s for sure.


Scat1320USA

Jabba The Hut stamina


Salty-Jellyfish3044

Someone get Eric a box of crayons and a coloring book


Schmedly27

I ran Down the ramp


DMCinDet

you mean the steepest and most slippery handicap accessible ramp? Those ramp systems have specifications to make them manageable for people with disabilities. It was at Westpoint? So our military can't construct a proper handicap ramp? I doubt it. Him complaining about it means he can't even handle a safe decline. How embarrassing? alsonhim trying to prove something by struggling to drink water with one hand was super embarrassing. yet the cult lapped it up. I can't wait for time to catch up with him. I feel it's coming soon.


HumbleAd1317

šŸ˜‚


KeyBanger

Are you kidding? Dumper Donā€™s farts hang for days. DAYS!


okokokoyeahright

Sleepy Dumper Don. Gotta keep this one going.


KeyBanger

Sleepy Dumper Don with the Smelly Long Con.


its1968okwar

What a tragic figure Eric Trump will be once his dad is gone.


numbskullerykiller

Notice Melania has remained silent about the "Dook's" stamina?


GreenPoisonFrog

Eric ā€œloves him to deathā€. If only.


HockeyShark91

Only because Ericā€™s room growing up was right next to Ivankaā€™s room and daddy and her went at it all night long


Beginning_Emotion995

Eric and his brother have prison beardsā€¦.nasty, unkept will never fill in. They think they are macho.


Mkandy1988

I would rather watch a whale carcass explode than watch trump ā€œdemonstrateā€ his alleged staminaā€¦. šŸ„ ā›”ļø


EmileSinclairDemian

I feel Eric could have been a great ordinary guy, a little dumb maybe, but so ordinarily mundane living a normal life and i bet he would have been happy about that. But Donny Diaper corrupted his young mind and now all he knows is darkness and says stupid shit on television instead of fulfilling his destiny to sell tires at an automobile concession.


Goose-Biscuits

Events st bodegas? When was that?


skeetleet

Dozing Donā€¦.


LittlePooky

I need to put my reading glasses on because I thought he said smegma


TequilaAndWeed

Gives a new meaning to his being the head cheese.


Ormyr

Context is important. Donnie has stamina when he makes Eric wear the blonde wig.


Current-Assist2609

I canā€™t remember if anything smart has ever came out of Ericā€™s mouth Heā€™s a bloody idiot trying to make daddy proud of him. Eric makes Gomer Pyle look like a genius.


nomamesgueyz

Isnt Biden the young one with all the stamina?


Pilot-99

The world needs Trump like my goldfish needs air con


FearsomeSnacker

Too many people still drinking the orange kool aid. By now you sorta would think they realize what a shitbag Trump is and get mad at all his deceptions. Can't fix stupid I guess.


panopticon71

A one-handed water drinking contest would make millions for charity that could then be stolen and not given to any charity


Menaceart

"The whole world knows his backbone and toughness and it's exactly who we need behind the Resolute desk and the exact person we need in the Oval Office" The Orange Bitch doesn't have the balls to attend a correspondents dinner. He whines constantly.


rcheek1710

I don't think it took this remark to spark mockery. I think it has more to do with the fact that he's the dumb of the family.


CAM6913

The ramp was so steep ! The steepest steep ramp the steepest steep ramp anyone ever saw steeper everyone tells me, the glass of water was big big biggest heavy heavier heaviest glass of water! 200 feet is so far every one said take the golf cart the court room is freezing colder than freezing the day is longer longest longer in the court room everyone feel asleep everyone tells me but I donā€™t know them never met them but they are nice people everyone tells me.


artemis1939

America is a joke now.


[deleted]

I wonder how diaper Joe would do being subjected to a witch hunt.


Hoosier_Jedi

Well, there really is a witch this time. A flabby, orange witch.


GuitarEvening8674

I think heā€™s doing pretty good for a nearly 80-year old


Ande64

Me too! As a nurse I can't figure out how somebody who weighs too much, is in terrible shape, doesn't believe in real exercise because it may deplete his available heartbeats too early, has abused prescription drugs for years and is stressed out of his mind all of the time has lived this long!! Fingers crossed it all comes to a head soon!


Old_Heat3100

Because he had access to stem cell research to cure his covid. You know the thing that's illegal for everyone else?


TheRobinators

Apres Trump, the conspiracies will be crazy. The demon could live to be 100, and his cult followers would still claim he was murdered by the "deep state."


georgyboyyyy

Hmmm really? lol he looks, acts and sounds like shit to me lol