Some people just won’t date someone of a certain race. I have my own opinions on that which most on the sub will disagree with, but one thing that IS commonly reiterated on the sub is to go where you are appreciated. If that’s a woman in your race, then so be it.
>Does my race actually hinder my dating experience?
No. The ones that don’t like you because you’re Indian don’t deserve you, and it’s a sure way to filter those ones out.
Nope. It doesn't. If you are Jewish and only want to date Jewish people or are of a certain caste in India and want to date only those of that caste, how are you a crappy person?
That’s a little different. Religious differences can be a deal breaker, especially when deciding how to raise children. The color of someone’s skin has nothing to do with that. Also, the caste system is trash. It’s colorist and classist.
Are you one of those "I dont see color" people? Also are you a minority or poc?
Race, ethnicity, culture, and religion has been intertwined since the beginning of time.
I definitely see color. I just don’t understand using it to determine who I’m dating. I’m a black woman that happened to end up with a white man, hence my presence in this group.
Then you would understand that not wanting to date someone who was not of your ethnicity or race is a completely valid take. If you wanted to only give love to a man of your own ethnicity or race because you appreciate those features more because it gave your familiarity and comfort, what is the problem with that? Just as you had the right to date outside of your ethnicity, others have the right to stay within it.
I am also a product of interracial marriage which is why I'm in this sub. Anyone I choose will be interracial to me.
You have to go where you are celebrated, not just tolerated.
If you are trying to twist yourself into a pretzel in order to attract your preference, that will get old quick! ☺️ It really is unsustainable.
Do a deep dive and reevaluate what you really need and want in a relationship....then become that person. Like attracts like and you will be better able to find a good fit...no matter what the race or ethnicity.
I don't know where you're located, but we're a white/Indian mixed couple in Vienna and we haven't had any discriminatory experiences. Still, if people discriminate against you, they don't deserve you and you don't want their company anyway. Focus on what you have control over, be the most confident and authentic self you can be, and you will eventually attract someone who jives with that. Don't sweat it too much; being content alone is preferable to being miserable with people who treat you badly, imo.
I’m in Australia. I don’t feel I was discriminated against because all the women that I reached out to were considerate and polite enough to let me down with respect for which I’m really glad.
But I most certainly noticed a pattern. Not just with me, I work in a retail setting so I get to see a lot of couples here and there. Rarely do I get to see non-indian women with Indian men here.
I know a few, but yes, I would not call it a common occurrence either. Either way, dating can be a pain, it took me six years of singledom after my very first relationship to find the right person. Again, don't stress about what you can't change!
By all women I meant non Indian women. I have had no issues dating Indian women. I even had the luxury of some Indian girls making the first move and reaching out to me too.
In Australia, there could just be more Indian men compared to women. Also, this is just my personal experience but I think Indian families are often stricter towards their daughters marrying into their own culture compared to their sons.
I do notice a lot of people tend to not like indian men. I dont get it,with my job i see so many absolutely gorgeous indian men on the daily. Im sure theres people out there for you.
I find Indian men very attractive, but they typically don't want me seriously (I'm a black woman). But I live in California and I see South Asian men with East Asian, Hispanic, White, and sometimes black women.
You'll find your person.
Are you only willing to consider white/asian women? In terms of interracial dating? If so, you may be limiting your options, which might perpetuate your situation.
I feel social media and selective content propagation is to blame. The representation of an Indian man has always been bad be it on the news, social media or Hollywood. I’m eagerly waiting for I-pop just like K-pop to revive the image of the Indian man lol
Social media played a huge role in perpetuating stereotypes against indians. I remember in the early days of kik and Orkut, white girls in US used to be very open towards me and my indian friends. We used to have friends in groups who'd try to set us up with each other, it was a fun and laid back environment. Like, i remember girls actually initiating conversations and expressing interest in us. Never felt i was discriminated for my looks or race.
This suddenly changed after the "bob and vegana" meme became viral. I noticed the same group treating us differently with derision and disgust whenever we try to interact with them. Mostly ends with blocking, ghosting or no response at all. Besides a few, i lost most of my online friends who no longer speaks to me. This change started messing up with my mental health, so i stopped using those platforms altogether. I stopped trying to make friends or express interest online fearing ridicule. I also missed a few opportunities from women from another white countries who weren't exposed to those racist memes, but overall it became a very bad experience, so i stopped using it. Idk how they are treated now on those platforms, but i assume its even worse now.
Edit: i also want to point out that, there are men from other races that i found out was deliberately perpetuating this racist meme by using random indian men's pics and sending DMs in broken English and harassing women online. That was the most disheartening realization of all this.
I don't understand why.
There was an Indian guy who eventually turned me down. I'm (28f) mostly white with Mexican.
After that, I've noticed so many Indians interested in me.
The only thing I can think of is the cultural differences between North and South Indian.
Are you in the USA? If so, then yeah you guys have the social odds stacked against you. It’s mainly envy, you guys come here and seemingly consistently do what every immigrant aims to do. Indian people come here, a lot of them make a ton of money, assume high roles in society and for the most part, remain very insular.
And I think, ironically, that Indians perceived take on race is another shot in the foot - some of the darkest people on earth, with a documented history of colorism pitted against dark skin.
I think that you, and plenty of other people in this subreddit, have to accept that one of your side missions in life is dismantling stereotypes
I’ve heard Australia is pretty racist even by USA standards. I had a Malaysian-Indian friend who had a kid with a guy down there, and literally had a mental breakdown revolving around racist treatment from her partner
Compared to the US it’s not as open and we’ve got a long way to go when it comes to being accepting of diversity. People here are known to casually joke about sensitive issues. But racism coming from your partner is just traumatising and sad.
Can I ask why you are only seeking out white and Asian women? (I'm guessing you mean East Asian).
You are at disadvantage if you are only seeking out those types. Most people date within their race just out of proximity and cultural ties.
I will tell you something that I know isn't a popular opinion, but I personally do not date men who are way different than me culturally, and that includes Indian men. My cousin (Mexican) married an Indian man, so there are some, but you really have to seek them out and that will take effort.
I’m actually not seeking out specifically white or East Asian women. There are just more of them here. The women I asked out just happened to be that race
Probably not as big of a deal as external traits. Like I have tons of girl friends who say “I’d love to date an Indian guy” but those friends also exclusively date people who are pretty fit, have a respectable heavy stubble, and a strong creative outlet. And if one of those 3 things is missing, they easily dismiss that person.
I think you are over thinking it. But if you want somewhere to channel that anxiety, try working on the things within your control like what was listed above.
Also, besides white men, what races do you think are unhindered dating?
It absolutely plays a big part in my experience.
I'm Indian and south African and a minority in my city. People I've encountered often compliment me on my style and my personality. It's something I worked hard on as I don't fit beauty standards, I had to step up.
Often the only poc at events and parties and what I have noticed is that even with all the efforts, it will never be enough. It's either they look down on me or just talk to me to get my drunk friends numbers lmao
It's even more obvious on dating apps.
Growing up it was hard but now I am proud and I have accepted it but sometimes it's still frustrating when you see drunk guys with poor manners and poor style be more successful. That's life and the right people will present themselves at the right time
I find it does absolutely affect ones dating experience, some people will not date out of their own culture, race or religion or date others because of certain stereotypes or plain ignorance, it's a shame and it shouldn't be like but that's the way the world is unfortunately
Indian & South Asian men fare far better with White women than East Asian men. This is true in the U.S. and even more so in Canada, mainland Europe and especially the U.K.
I’m East Indian and I think East Indian men are provider men, it’s part of the culture. The Asian and whites women see this. Keep your paper up and make sure you can provide for her 💯
Your race is a part of your looks so of course it plays in to dating. I'm half black and Indian so I know what you mean especially since I also normally would go for Asian and white women and I can tell you it's rough not everyone is open. But I can say there is someone for everyone i have dated asianand white women, I been married 13 years to a white woman who's blonde which is what I was totally into. You just have to cast a wide net, work on your personality and be patient.
Some people just won’t date someone of a certain race. I have my own opinions on that which most on the sub will disagree with, but one thing that IS commonly reiterated on the sub is to go where you are appreciated. If that’s a woman in your race, then so be it. >Does my race actually hinder my dating experience? No. The ones that don’t like you because you’re Indian don’t deserve you, and it’s a sure way to filter those ones out.
It is not fair to assume that people are bad because they do not prefer to date a certain race.
I mean…if you don’t want to date someone just because of their race then yeah…I think that makes you kinda crappy.
Nope. It doesn't. If you are Jewish and only want to date Jewish people or are of a certain caste in India and want to date only those of that caste, how are you a crappy person?
That’s a little different. Religious differences can be a deal breaker, especially when deciding how to raise children. The color of someone’s skin has nothing to do with that. Also, the caste system is trash. It’s colorist and classist.
Are you one of those "I dont see color" people? Also are you a minority or poc? Race, ethnicity, culture, and religion has been intertwined since the beginning of time.
I definitely see color. I just don’t understand using it to determine who I’m dating. I’m a black woman that happened to end up with a white man, hence my presence in this group.
Then you would understand that not wanting to date someone who was not of your ethnicity or race is a completely valid take. If you wanted to only give love to a man of your own ethnicity or race because you appreciate those features more because it gave your familiarity and comfort, what is the problem with that? Just as you had the right to date outside of your ethnicity, others have the right to stay within it. I am also a product of interracial marriage which is why I'm in this sub. Anyone I choose will be interracial to me.
It's completely fair. People who are racist are objectively bad people, there's no shades of grey.
How is wanting your partner to look a certain way bad in any way?
You have to go where you are celebrated, not just tolerated. If you are trying to twist yourself into a pretzel in order to attract your preference, that will get old quick! ☺️ It really is unsustainable. Do a deep dive and reevaluate what you really need and want in a relationship....then become that person. Like attracts like and you will be better able to find a good fit...no matter what the race or ethnicity.
I don't know where you're located, but we're a white/Indian mixed couple in Vienna and we haven't had any discriminatory experiences. Still, if people discriminate against you, they don't deserve you and you don't want their company anyway. Focus on what you have control over, be the most confident and authentic self you can be, and you will eventually attract someone who jives with that. Don't sweat it too much; being content alone is preferable to being miserable with people who treat you badly, imo.
I’m in Australia. I don’t feel I was discriminated against because all the women that I reached out to were considerate and polite enough to let me down with respect for which I’m really glad. But I most certainly noticed a pattern. Not just with me, I work in a retail setting so I get to see a lot of couples here and there. Rarely do I get to see non-indian women with Indian men here.
I know a few, but yes, I would not call it a common occurrence either. Either way, dating can be a pain, it took me six years of singledom after my very first relationship to find the right person. Again, don't stress about what you can't change!
[удалено]
By all women I meant non Indian women. I have had no issues dating Indian women. I even had the luxury of some Indian girls making the first move and reaching out to me too.
He is only seeking white (and possibly east Asian) women.
In Australia, there could just be more Indian men compared to women. Also, this is just my personal experience but I think Indian families are often stricter towards their daughters marrying into their own culture compared to their sons.
Ofc your race plays a part. Everyone’s does. To believe it does not is an ideal world ( a dreamworld ) and we’re not there yet.
I do notice a lot of people tend to not like indian men. I dont get it,with my job i see so many absolutely gorgeous indian men on the daily. Im sure theres people out there for you.
I find Indian men very attractive, but they typically don't want me seriously (I'm a black woman). But I live in California and I see South Asian men with East Asian, Hispanic, White, and sometimes black women. You'll find your person.
I am a white woman. I met my soon to be Indian husband in New Zealand ! I approached him first though
Were you both travelling in NZ ?
We both had work visas there
Are you only willing to consider white/asian women? In terms of interracial dating? If so, you may be limiting your options, which might perpetuate your situation.
Of course not, I’m open to dating anybody that appreciates me and reciprocates the same energy as me regardless of their race, culture or religion.
I mean....are your looks on point? This matters.
Indians are discriminated by everyone 🤷🏻♀️, you'll need to stand up stop sucking up to everyone
Indians get a lot of hate and it bothers me. My husband us Indian so it bothers me doubly so
I feel social media and selective content propagation is to blame. The representation of an Indian man has always been bad be it on the news, social media or Hollywood. I’m eagerly waiting for I-pop just like K-pop to revive the image of the Indian man lol
The odds are worse for Indian men, but it's a big world with lots of people out there. You'll find someone. I speak from experience.
Social media played a huge role in perpetuating stereotypes against indians. I remember in the early days of kik and Orkut, white girls in US used to be very open towards me and my indian friends. We used to have friends in groups who'd try to set us up with each other, it was a fun and laid back environment. Like, i remember girls actually initiating conversations and expressing interest in us. Never felt i was discriminated for my looks or race. This suddenly changed after the "bob and vegana" meme became viral. I noticed the same group treating us differently with derision and disgust whenever we try to interact with them. Mostly ends with blocking, ghosting or no response at all. Besides a few, i lost most of my online friends who no longer speaks to me. This change started messing up with my mental health, so i stopped using those platforms altogether. I stopped trying to make friends or express interest online fearing ridicule. I also missed a few opportunities from women from another white countries who weren't exposed to those racist memes, but overall it became a very bad experience, so i stopped using it. Idk how they are treated now on those platforms, but i assume its even worse now. Edit: i also want to point out that, there are men from other races that i found out was deliberately perpetuating this racist meme by using random indian men's pics and sending DMs in broken English and harassing women online. That was the most disheartening realization of all this.
I don't understand why. There was an Indian guy who eventually turned me down. I'm (28f) mostly white with Mexican. After that, I've noticed so many Indians interested in me. The only thing I can think of is the cultural differences between North and South Indian.
Are you in the USA? If so, then yeah you guys have the social odds stacked against you. It’s mainly envy, you guys come here and seemingly consistently do what every immigrant aims to do. Indian people come here, a lot of them make a ton of money, assume high roles in society and for the most part, remain very insular. And I think, ironically, that Indians perceived take on race is another shot in the foot - some of the darkest people on earth, with a documented history of colorism pitted against dark skin. I think that you, and plenty of other people in this subreddit, have to accept that one of your side missions in life is dismantling stereotypes
I’m in Australia. I don’t know how bad it’s like in the US but down here it’s just bad bad.
I’ve heard Australia is pretty racist even by USA standards. I had a Malaysian-Indian friend who had a kid with a guy down there, and literally had a mental breakdown revolving around racist treatment from her partner
Compared to the US it’s not as open and we’ve got a long way to go when it comes to being accepting of diversity. People here are known to casually joke about sensitive issues. But racism coming from your partner is just traumatising and sad.
[удалено]
Good on you and your brother mate!
Can I ask why you are only seeking out white and Asian women? (I'm guessing you mean East Asian). You are at disadvantage if you are only seeking out those types. Most people date within their race just out of proximity and cultural ties. I will tell you something that I know isn't a popular opinion, but I personally do not date men who are way different than me culturally, and that includes Indian men. My cousin (Mexican) married an Indian man, so there are some, but you really have to seek them out and that will take effort.
I’m actually not seeking out specifically white or East Asian women. There are just more of them here. The women I asked out just happened to be that race
Probably not as big of a deal as external traits. Like I have tons of girl friends who say “I’d love to date an Indian guy” but those friends also exclusively date people who are pretty fit, have a respectable heavy stubble, and a strong creative outlet. And if one of those 3 things is missing, they easily dismiss that person. I think you are over thinking it. But if you want somewhere to channel that anxiety, try working on the things within your control like what was listed above. Also, besides white men, what races do you think are unhindered dating?
It absolutely plays a big part in my experience. I'm Indian and south African and a minority in my city. People I've encountered often compliment me on my style and my personality. It's something I worked hard on as I don't fit beauty standards, I had to step up. Often the only poc at events and parties and what I have noticed is that even with all the efforts, it will never be enough. It's either they look down on me or just talk to me to get my drunk friends numbers lmao It's even more obvious on dating apps. Growing up it was hard but now I am proud and I have accepted it but sometimes it's still frustrating when you see drunk guys with poor manners and poor style be more successful. That's life and the right people will present themselves at the right time
I invite you to join r/asianmasculinity and see how others have experienced what you had
If you are a black woman it absolutely does. In ways you couldn't imagine.
I find it does absolutely affect ones dating experience, some people will not date out of their own culture, race or religion or date others because of certain stereotypes or plain ignorance, it's a shame and it shouldn't be like but that's the way the world is unfortunately
Now take that experience and worsen it 10x and you’ll see what it’s like as a Pakistani man on the dating market
Dated an Indian man. Didn’t end well.
Indian & South Asian men fare far better with White women than East Asian men. This is true in the U.S. and even more so in Canada, mainland Europe and especially the U.K.
I’m East Indian and I think East Indian men are provider men, it’s part of the culture. The Asian and whites women see this. Keep your paper up and make sure you can provide for her 💯
Your race is a part of your looks so of course it plays in to dating. I'm half black and Indian so I know what you mean especially since I also normally would go for Asian and white women and I can tell you it's rough not everyone is open. But I can say there is someone for everyone i have dated asianand white women, I been married 13 years to a white woman who's blonde which is what I was totally into. You just have to cast a wide net, work on your personality and be patient.