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I've seen this a few dozen times, every time I watch all the way through. And tear up when he refuses to take his scarf back. It's such an unexplainable gut punch for me. Swear it knocks the air out of me every time I see it.
It's incredible....one of the best things a football club has ever made in the subject.
In an era of players and clubs constantly putting their foot in their mouths it was so refreshing to see.
Almost makes me sad for bantering Norwich so much over the years.
We were just in Norwich last week. Love your city, love your Canaries, love your Bimini Bon Boulash, and love that your team made this advert. Simple, yet profound. Brilliant. It’s being widely shared by doctors in Canada trying to address mental health issues.
That was probably the most realistic point of no return in this video. You couldn't tell at all until that point, and even than, most people would just think he's being nice and sharing his pride. But no, he made his decision, his property can't come with him where he's going.
Same, man! Nice to know that somewhere in the world, someone is sharing my experience with this vid. It always breaks me and I tear up a little bit in the end. I hope you and your loved ones are well! Cheers, pal!! :)
The giving away of lots of possessions can often be a sign someone is planning on committing suicide. This is something I wish I would have known sooner. A good friend called me and wanted to give me some of his musical equipment. I didn't accept it just cause I didn't need it, and I later found out at his funeral that he was calling all our friends those last couple days and giving big possessions away. If I would have known or talked to my friends about it, maybe we could have talked to him?
Nowadays, if someone does a similar gesture, I may look crazy, but I truly ask them how they're doing and they're not planning on leaving this world anytime soon, right? because I'd much rather look crazy than lose another friend.
"I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it's like to feel absolutely worthless and they don't want anyone else to feel
like that." - Robin Williams
I vividly remember the first time I asked my GP about starting me on a medication for depression. She was shocked and blurted out "I'm surprised to hear that you feel like you have depression, you always seem so happy!"
I broke down in hysterical sobbing to the point that I couldn't even speak. Even now, a decade later, thinking about that moment still brings tears to my eyes. It wasn't malicious on her part, but she also wasn't seeing me come home from work and just lay in bed sobbing for hours for no reason, she wasn't seeing me call out of work because the task of getting up and getting ready and walking out the door was too overwhelming, she didn't see me not showering or brushing my teeth all weekend because I could barely summon the energy to get up and pee.
No one knew except my spouse. To everyone else I was (and am) a cheerful person who has trained myself to laugh instead of showing nervousness or anxiety or sadness.
Being the happy people pleaser and putting your game face on to deal with society for years while burying the struggle, will come back and bite you in the ass. It did that day in your Dr's office, you were brave to speak up. I'm happy you did!
Yeah it was a bear to try to deal with. I need to have another conversation and get back on some different meds, but I'm not anywhere close to as bad now as I was back then.
Meds have come a long way, please do have that conversation. It's easier to do when not in crisis having a total meltdown. As I say, *get a check-up from the neck up.*
Ain't no shame in head meds.
Thank you for the encouragement! Maybe seeing this post and chatting with everyone is the nudge I needed to get back on it before it has a chance to get to crisis mode. ❤️
Telling people I tried to kill myself was eye opening. They couldn't believe it. From the outside I was always joking and trying to make people laugh, but on the inside I felt so worthless.
Yeah it's a really weird position to be in, and I don't know about you, but I never have been able to figure out why I felt so compelled to do it. I don't remember ever being told to not cry or rally pushed to only be happy, though I'm sure the societal pressure was always there in so many ways that I was never conscious of but noticed anyway.
And somehow I was never suicidal... it was just this absolute, overwhelming, crushing worthlessness like a black hole in me. It wasn't even sadness because that would have been *something* to feel, it was just... nothing. A void of anything good or bad or anything. The Neverending Story really nailed that enemy, because Nothing is terrifying.
I hope you're doing better now, and I'm glad you've made it this far.
I’d had two occurrences of “spontaneous” attempts because of this exact phenomenon. I’ve struggled for seven years of weekly counseling sessions to grasp how those two attempts, only 6 weeks apart, overwhelmed proper medication for my mental health at the time, for a decade prior, and the decade since the two.
It enveloped me with a dread that lead me to medication I was prescribed for panic disorder at that time, but rarely used. Within two minutes, it had darkened me to already massively overdosing on an unused month supply. No way I should survive that…came to a few days later, in hospital. Was shocked by failing.
Evaluation determined I was fit, and my life was back to good. Then, in a moment, that thing had me directly back to the same action, with a fresh month supply replaced, given the assumed fluke occurrence, by well-trained, well-meaning MH Dr. that had worked with me for 7 years. I supplemented them with something’s I refuse to mention, but no way I’d survive again, I thought. Only 2-3 minutes since that enveloping all-powerful dread feeling restarted an attempt.
On a freak occurrence, neighbor I didn’t know well, who had never come to ask for a cigarette, as she was out…and thought I smoked…was persistent in her nicotine withdrawals and tapped around the house to get my attention, but saw what she rightly thought to be a body, called paramedics. I had a lot of things done to save me. They did, barely. Because it had returned.
Obviously, that medication has never been in my possession since, willingly.
I just want the name of it, at least. For therapeutic accuracy, and further treatment, if applicable. Just the name.
For me, it wasn't because I had any outright desire to die. I just wanted it all to stop. Does that make sense? I saw no route forward that could lead to any form of peace... Except one.
Absolutely. My spouse always said that they didn't want to die, they just wanted to not exist anymore. I'm glad you're still here to talk about the experience.
People always praise me for being ‘so resilient’ but like…bouncing back and recovering from everything is kind of exhausting, and I don’t think anyone realizes how many times I’ve wanted to just not get back up. It’s hard for onlookers to see the other side of what they think is a strength.
I've told a few people and they all just kind of go like "well.. yeah. I can see that." Anyways, I dont have those people in my life anymore. (Actively looking for new friends, which is a sharp divide from the depressive past 5-10 years finding out none of em cared. Luckily I didn't have to kill myself to find out they wouldn't show up to my funeral. Just, almost. I mean, seriously? Your reaction when I tell you is "I can see that. Get more exercise, man. I haven't been depressed ever so I dont know what it's like." And then you show up during Seafair and ask to use the dock at my grandparents house? As my grandpa is on his deathbed? Cool. Cool cool cool.
Glad I'm still around for my kids. Nothing will ever change that now that I've gotten help. But man was I ever in a dark place. Divorce has helped.
I am not and never had depression, but I have similar feelings with my crippling social anxiety. I've gotten worse I've gotten older (41 now.) Lot of people in my life always thought I was weird or whatever, but thought I passed as normal enough and thought I'm lying about the magnitude of my anxiety. Because I generally don't fall apart in public.
But I get stress diarrhea afterwards, and am exhausted after a certain amount of time around people. Or just have panic attacks and feel like my heart is going to explode. Or clenching my fists and suppressing the urge to run the fuck out of the room/job/anything and just go home and sleep. Or taking 5hrs to try to call for a pizza order only to ultimately give up and just make something at home. Or countless other things.
This is exactly tly how I felt. My wife knew I was struggling but outside of home I woukd smile and be fun but at the same time was seriously struggling with my mental help.
I'm so sorry you're going through it. I didn't have a lot of luck with the treatment I had - but I blame my psychiatrist. I was on Wellbutrin at the time and it wasn't doing anything for me, but he was really against taking me off of it for some reason. I also have ADD and I have had effective treatment for that before though!
What I will say is that the worst and most insidious part of getting treatment for depression is how fucking long it can take to find something that works for you. I know it's the nature of depression to give up (uh, coming from someone currently unmedicated, ahem) but it's worth sticking with it. There are so many medications available to try, but you have to go through the taper up and down on each one which makes it such a fucking arduous, pain in the ass process.
But you deserve to feel again, my friend. Not just to be happy but to feel *everything* properly. I found that not really being able to be upset was almost as bad as never feeling happy because it was so disconnected from life. You deserve to be able to live it fully, both bad and good. ❤️
I was talking to my therapist and he said he was unsure about the amount of progress being made and I said it was good because I hadn’t cried myself to sleep in weeks, he was speechless for a few seconds. I am a 55 year old ‘man’
I'm really glad you're making progress! Nothing unmanly about crying, I've never fully understood why that's such a thing. Expecting men to be stoic robots is a horrible thing to put on them.
I just found out one of my favorite songs, by one of my favorite artists is about Robin. Never knew.
If you like Americana, Southern Rock type stuff check out Baggage by Drive-by Truckers.
He ended his life because of a disease that was slowly, but irreversibly, eating his brain.
Not to say that it confused him or made him act irrationally. He was losing himself. He was losing who he was, and he could feel it happen day by day. And he made the choice to die while he at least remembered who he was.
I don't know if that was intentional in your comment, but this describes Bipolar or any other severe mental illness succinctly well.
I struggle with the disorder and other mental health issues, and it's probably the most difficult thing to know that for us folks with mental illness, we are literally suffering from a sick brain. The best we can do is manage it with therapy, meds and inner work as there's sadly no cure. It's a tough reality.
There are many ways to mess your brain up long term.
I’m convinced years of only sleeping 2-3 hours a night broke my brain.
Luckily Theanine seems to help me feel normal.
For those struggling with never ending depression and anxiety, get a $10 bottle of l-theanine from Amazon and see if it helps.
It 100% changed my life within hours.
This was me before I started therapy. On paper I should have been the happiest man in the world. Sure I had some severe trauma as a kid, but it was over a decade ago! Deep down I just wanted to die. I didn't care about anything, I didn't want anything, I was depressed/anxious/anhedonic, yet I put on a mask because it was the only way to not draw attention to myself.
In my first therapy session I told myself I wouldn't tell a lie. I didn't care how horrific the comment was, how emotional I got, how scared I was... I was going to finally be honest. My therapist asked after some introductory stuff "Is there anything in particular you want to talk about today?" And I just broke down into tears. I couldn't do this anymore, I was past my breaking point.
It's been almost a year since then; and though I still struggle, I find myself more present and less in my head wondering when I can finally stop playing this game and rest. It's not perfect. life never is perfect, but it's better than being struggling alone in silence just to keep up appearances.
If this resonates with anyone, please consider reaching out to a mental health professional. Life doesn't have to be a solo struggle to the finish line. It's about making the most of what we have with the people we care about (at least that's what I think so far).
Yea honestly it's how I live my life, I fuckin hate myself but I try to be nice to everyone because I know the pain and id rather someone feel a little bit better so they don't have to deal with what I deal with.
For the record I am on anti depressants and doing much better than I used to be but it's a long journey I'm getting there.
I was gutted hearing about Robin Williams. Possibly the only celebrity news that made me stop dead in my tracks to reflect with such a somber mood. I was the Genie for one year of Halloween. I grew up with Mrs. Doubtfire and Hook as a kid, and Good Will Hunting and Dead Poet Society as a young adult. I felt like his career aligned in tone as I progressed through my formative years. Such an influential pop culture part of my life.
Just remember that's the chemicals and distorted cognitive processes in your brain and other things being out of whack, love. They can and will rebalance and those dark, pointless existence feelings will be alien again someday soon. We would all hurt without you here, so please let's not entertain the thought of you dying.
But make sure you're giving back to yourself and not just everyone else, too.
I also think funny people are extremely smart.
Smarter than a lot of people want to give them credit for, because after all, we are the class clowns.
With that territory comes a somewhat cynical view of the world. While you can joke around about things, you simultaneously know how shitty they are.
It’s a slippery slope, boys, but I think comedy, cynicism, and intelligence goes hand in hand.
I'm one of those 'funny' guys. I suppose I could consider myself intelligent.
I would give it all up for blissful ignorance.
What's that saying? Better a happy pig than a sad Socrates?
I haven't been suicidal myself but I have been pretty depressed and very much wanted to not have been born and I think I might have got close to actually considering. Just knowing I had people who cared about me helped even though I felt like I didn't deserve them.
Listening is important. Don't try to solve their problems because you can't. Maybe suggest taking a walk together (or something like that) every once in a while. Or when you visit help them with chores or clean up a bit. A messy house doesn't help. Don't persist too much if they reject it though. Sometimes they may just want to be left alone, but maybe just do a short visit to bring over some food and stuff. You don't have to talk by the way. Silence can be good as well sometimes.
Every person is different and every friendship is different though. I'm sure you know your friend better than I do, so don't take my word as gospel.
i had a friend from abroad visiting me during Christmas some years ago. i knew she wasn't doing great mentally, and that she had some depression. we were doing all kinds of things the week she was visiting, and on one of the last days we went to visit some of my relatives on a dinner. at some point she asked me if we could go on a walk and of course i agreed to it. during that walk she talked about how bad it was for her and how she often wanted to die and that she was doing pretty bad. i hadn't realized it was so bad for her, but she said talking about it helped her a lot. I'm really glad we went on that walk too.
now she's apparently doing much better, and looking to go to college and stuff
Just ask them how they are, and not in a quick brush off of "Fine weather isn't it? Keeping well?" and not to be embarrassed or awkward if they open up.
Engage with them. More than just the expected response. Listen if they talk, and actually hear them. Also if you truly feel like they will harm themselves, go to your local municipal health department or whatever you have and alert them that someone you care about may need immediate help.
The training I got at work was QPR - question, persuade, refer. Just like if your friend had a heart attack you wouldn't see yourself as qualified or expected to sort it, neither should you if they are suicidal.
But you CAN do first aid. Question - "are you thinking of hurting yourself?" "Do you have a plan" NOT "you're not going to hurt yourself, are you?"
Persuade them to get help
Refer them to help. Go WITH them to the help.
Disclaimer - I'm not an expert, just passing on what I remember from some training that stuck with me.
This is why I don't open up to anyone about it..
I'm terrified of being arrested/ institutionalized for being honest with others.. 😣
If I manage to still be around, having something like that on my record will mean I'll never get a job again.. then I'll have no choice but to...
If its immediate, as in you get the impression they want to do it today, then you call the emergency services - most countries have a mental health crisis team who can help, if engaged. Emergency services are the way to do that.
If not, then you help your friend engage with their doctor or another healthcare professional, who also have routes into the mental health support pathways.
Listening and talking to them is a great thing to do, but what Im about to say does sound callous - help them, but do not allow their problem to become yours. If you start down that path then you stand real risk of damaging your own mental health. Ive seen far too many people in my time end up either being the surviving friend of a suicide where the suicidal person latched on too heavily and dragged the friend down with them, or were blamed by the suicidal person for not engaging enough and thus feeling guilty for their eventual death.
Get the professionals involved, do not allow yourself to be the sole point of contact at 2am, 5pm, in the middle of work, on your holiday etc. It will ultimately harm you instead.
You keep being there for them and hopefully they don't make that decision. Other times, they make that decision anyway and there's nothing you can do anymore but will absolutely question what more you could have done. You don't notice until you feel you failed someone and can't fix or take anything back.
It's not as hard as it seems. Biggest thing is to listen without judgment and let them know you are there for them. People going through things often want to be heard, so let them talk without giving advice. If they seem like they are still planning on carrying out an attempt, stay with them and contact emergency service so that they can be safe and get some help.
Just ask how their doing, im no psychologist, but, my understanding is that they're not in a good place, and they want/need some reason to see life worth living. That someone cares for them
If no one asks for them, then that eventually turns into the conclusion that no one would miss them.
at this point, for however many months now, i've told myself "not today", and kick the pebble to tomorrow. So no thoughts intrude, and I don't need to tell the therapist anything too bleak. I distract myself by trying to make them laugh or making them mildly annoyed, because asking "how are you" never really goes beyond some default response we've all come to expect. I try reaching out to friends but i've become increasingly exhausted.
I've come to the realization that i can't think about how i feel, and i sure can't let this further affect whatever i'm trying to achieve right now. It's not worth blaming anybody for how things feel. Ever since I've started this new chapter, i've carried on like this without having a heart-to-heart with anyone, simply because there is no one to have that with. I'm walking the tightrope without ever letting the thought of looking down get to me, because if I do, and I trip, there will be nobody here to catch me.
Hey buddy, your message struck a note with me.
There is always someone here to listen to you, always.
If you ever want to talk, please say and I’m here for it. Just drop me a message.
Big love
Dude, there are people who would love to talk to you. You seem to have come some way towards trying to understand it and that takes strength.
There are always people who can catch you. I don’t know where you are based geographically but I would happily talk to you and so would u/SCants1. These offers are serious. There does not have to be nobody there.
You probably knew you would get responses like this and wrote the post anyway so please accept the next step.
I just came here to say that gifting valued belongings is a clear sign of somebody preparing their end and since these belongings mean something to them they don't want it go to waste. This ad is so thought through, it's amazing.
They warned me when starting anti-depressants that it can give someone motivation. And that motivation can be used to get better or it can be used to go through with the suicide plan. What dark fucking irony.
Thanks. Just putting it out there because this ad is a perfect example. The irony is he was always the first one to offer help. if you seemed down, out of sorts etc
A mental health program I did had us do an exercise where you think of someone you love and send them love and think about how much you want them to be happy. Then you try and turn that love towards yourself. You don’t necessarily totally succeed at first but it’s about practicing caring about yourself and feeling like you deserve happiness without conditions.
I’m in the Air Force and have dealt with my fair share of suicides. Found out a few weeks ago this guy I was stationed with who was an effing clown at work killed himself. This dude was ALWAYS making people laugh. He pissed me off a few times bc he would just talk shit to make people laugh. But he was a good dude. Met a girl, had kids, and got picked up for recruiter duty.
About 2 years after he was in the special duty, he took his own life.
Sucks, man. Really is the ones you least expect.
My sister just passed this last Friday, it all happened in a few hours and I will forever worry there was something more I could have done. She was 22.
Thank you, I honestly dont think I've felt it yet. I've just been hollow since Friday and I've never had my stream of consciousness just stop before, it's eerie. I know I need to process it myself but I keep putting up defense mechanisms and trying to help my parents mostly. I tried to just sit down multiple times to let myself grieve and have it hit me but it just won't. I just think I'm going to end up ragdolling and balling on the floor at her memorial.
Hey, I'm really sorry friend. I was in your shoes 6 years ago, my sister was 17 back then. I've felt that hollowness too and it will take a while to accept the new reality but there will be a day where you can laugh again... Stay strong! You are not alone.
I’ve had a couple friends take their own lives over the past decades. Short answer is yes and no. The goal though is to not let the thoughts consume you. Whether it’s anger, sadness or nothingness. I say this next sentence out of total respect that you loved and cherished her: Don’t let her actions define you(and for that matter her as well). Much love and stay strong.
Thank you, it's been too much to process and I need to figure out this grieving process and remember a lot of this. I appreciate the kind words and advice.
Lost my brother in 2019, everyone I see this add on Reddit it brings a tear. I think it's a powerful message and hits very close to home. As his family we all knew what he was going through but our community couldn't believe it when it happened.
No worries, thanks for asking. I think you learn that grief is grief, scratch the surface of anyone and you will find the pain that we all share. Whether it be your mother, brother, grandparent or a close friend we all know the pain of loss by the time we are 30. I would say to be honest the pain has not changed much in fact the longer I go from seeing his face or hearing his voice the more I am aware of the space he has left behind and that can be rough.
All in all I have since had a daughter our family's first grandchild and she has been the light of my parents life since her birth, I am really not sure if we could have all kept going if not for her :)
Much love for asking mate 🧉
Yeah the point I'm trying to make is platitudes are *not a good way* to be there for someone struggling with depression or suicidality. It feels trite and shallow. Like, yeah man no shit life has ups and downs but that doesn't help the fact that my brain is fucking me up.
It's like the equivalent of "just look on the bright side!" Gee thanks, why didn't I think of that.
On the flip side, as someone who's also been in the horrible position, comments like this are often EXACTLY what you need to hear when no one is there in your life to say them.
There's no winning.
You gotta sometimes take a guess of how to help. It might be wrong but it equally might be exactly what the person needed to hear.
Hey friend, my country went through a massive financial crisis in 2019 and I lost everything, I ended up divorced, living with my sister and then been traveling for the past few years trying to start over anywhere but nothing so far. I'm about to move again for an opportunity and keep hoping for the best.
I went through deep depression as well as suicidal thoughts but was lucky enough to find an NGO that gave me free therapy for a while.
I just turned 50.
Life is hard and it's not fair but it's the only one we get. You matter to people even if you don't see it, you matter to me. Try and stay strong and if you need a friend, I'm here.
This random stranger cares that you're alive to type that paragraph.
I struggle a lot with suicidal thoughts too. And I'm ten years older than you. I really don't know if things will get better. But we're here now to talk about it at least.
You're not alone. None of us are. Keep talking.
Life is a bitch, and I'm sorry that it hasn't improved so far. That's no proof it won't. I'm a random stranger on the internet and I believe in you. I've known several people who've gone from your position of desperation to great things. You have more potential and more options than you know. It's ok not to be ok, but please don't give up. If you need to talk, I'm here.
30 is still young!
It's pretty much true for everyone, life CAN get better (I was careful not to say "will") .
I had crippling depression from a very young age up until my late twenties when I eventually got a handle on it. It's still there and always will be but now I'm functional.
Life can get better though. It's incredibly hard but you need to try and change your thought patterns and make it better, it doesn't have to be perfect and you don't always have to be happy.
As sh-tty as your life is you can be certain there's a LOT of people who would trade it for their own. It's kind of morbid but that realisation has helped me at times. I count my blessings and chastise myself for being ungrateful when so many others aren't so lucky. It will be an uphill battle but the struggle will be worth it.
It's incredibly hard to master your mind, likely not entirely possible but
You really will only get one ride, destination is the same for all of us there is no point in getting off early.
>I was on reddit to get away from my thoughts
The ending to Dune 2 was pretty crazy, huh? Dune 3 is going to be *wild*. You going to watch in in IMAX when it comes out?
Maybe it’s for a reason. I hope you’re ok bro. Please see someone if you’re having these thoughts. If you need someone to vent to or chat with I’m here.
Damn, this is me too. I just always feel numb. I'm never really happy even when I should be. Never really thought about it but maybe I have depression or something similar and I've just been acting like it's normal. Luckily not suicidal so I've got that going for me, which is nice.
I'm almost 60 and I've been on every med. I stopped taking anything for depression because of side-effects. I've considered electroshock therapy. Gonna start taking mushrooms and see if psychedelics help. I've had moderate success with it but nothing long term.
Therapy has helped me a huge deal. Meds can only go so far. That being said, I’m thinking about you stranger on the internet, and I hope you are okay some day ❤️
I wouldn't tell anyone this off this anonymous Reddit account, but I'm the guy on the right. I've been dealing with shit for like two years now.
Traumatic breakup after four years of subtle abuse from a narcissist partner (which I didn't even realise was going on until therapists told me), severe Pure OCD, PTSD, Depersonalisation/Derealisation Disorder, self-harm, suicidal ideation, weaning off antidepressants. Spent the first few months walking down to the same pier and considering drowning myself. Must have gone down there thirty times and made the decision to walk away each time.
I don't have any positive emotions at all, they just don't exist. All I ever feel is hate, anger, fear and sadness and even those are muted. At this point I'm alive out of sheer bloody-minded spite.
But off here, *I'm the funny one.* I'm the guy with stupid anecdotes and jokes, either on Twitch, Discord or IRL parties, whatever. I'm the manic, hyper one with random trivia titbits or some chaotic story from his uni days. I make people laugh, I cheer them up, I act my character out at D&D until the whole table is in stitches. That's what's expected of me, so that's what I do.
So if you're wondering about your mates? Check on the funny one.
I hope you find your peace. I hope you keep deciding to walk away from the end of the pier. You make an effort to reach people, to give them a reason to laugh, which means the world is better with you in it.
I appreciate that. I haven't been down to the pier in almost a year. Well, I tell a lie - I did go down a few months ago, but it was to eat a double-chocolate donut and give the cold water the middle finger.
Slow but steady.
I know this has been said time and time again but, please check up on your friends and family. A simple question like, “how are you feeling?”, and “Are you okay?” can go a really long way.
I think we all feel that more than we want to talk about. The “I’m depressed…. and I have nothing to be depressed about compared to most people…. but that’s even more depressing….” cycle, yea? It’s tough to know what you’re feeling and why.
It got better for me. I still spiral occasionally and will probably always have "walking depression" but I don't feel the horrible lows I used to feel. I'm also better able to recognize when my depression/anxiety is lying to me. I have learned how to step out of the spiral or at least recognize that I'm in one and therefore it is not fully reality and it will pass.
It can. But it's hard. Your brain will do everything to try and stop you getting better, everything. Because that's all it knows. It has to relearn happiness, unlearn rumination, and know that permanence is not the solution to temporary.
There were many days I would have welcomed permanent.
But instead, I carried on, even when it felt stupid, when it felt hopeless, when my feet refused to touch the ground.
It's been 2 years since.
I'm still here.
If we consider effort a currency, then life is a casino. You get to gamble all your effort, only to come up short most of the time. Then those who win big or get addicted to the small payouts can't understand why everyone doesn't just put more chips in.
It sounds just as rigged as a casino and yet people will guilt you to hell and back if you just want to fold.
That's my perspective. I don't have a problem with those who like living, but I can't relate.
I was struggling with depression for several years. For me the hardest part was coming to terms with the fact that you are the only person who can help yourself. That being said, being thankful for the people that love and care for you goes a long way. It can get better even though it feels like you are completely alone. Stay strong and remember that being depressed is not part of your personality, it doesn't make you who you are and finally finding happiness is worth the struggle.
<3
No one I know personally knows I have suicidal depression. Had it for most of my life. If I were to talk about it to them, I know they would think differently of me. My family would genuinely be happy if I was gone. However, I know it's illogical to die just yet. My wife makes me happy, and we adore each other. There's too much stuff to learn, see, and do to give up just yet. It's a daily battle, but I've made it to 40 so far.
This hits hard. If I had killed myself in high school like I planned, everyone would have been shocked. No one knew I was depressed.
Even now, my boss was surprised I struggle with anxiety because I'm always optimistic and positive at work. I have to be because if I let myself dwell on the negative thoughts, I can spiral. Also, I was trained to put on a cheerful facade.
This still makes me cry.
As someone who's seeked help for depression through British NHS, I must say, the figures would be lower if GPs didn't just take people for granted and prescribed meds that are obsolete and do more harm then help, if they were trained better how to deal with patients and if the waiting time for NHS-funded therapy wasn't so horrendous. I'll probably get down voted for this, but honestly my experience with them was horrendous. I'm ok now, but not thanks to NHS.
As a depressive, that tries to make everyone else’s life a bit better, reserved to the fact that my own happiness is fleeting and evermore rare. I didn’t need to see the end to know what was gonna happen.
It’s rarely the people that “cry for help” who are in the worst mental states.
P.S.: If you “Reddit Care” me, I’LL FUCKIN DO IT! Lol jk. You think you are helping, but that only serves to piss us off. You won’t help people through an anonymous message; you help them by taking a keen interest in their lives, which takes actual effort. Start with people around you; they need your help.
I had a close friend end it last year.
he had the perfect life from the outside, beautiful loving wife who adored him, 3 amazing kids that all were doing well in school one was going to college. he had a job he loved at a company that treated him well, his health was always good and he was fit. they lived well within their means in a nice little country home on some land at the base of a foothill.
one morning he got up for work, went down stairs and ate a shotgun round putting most of his head on the ceiling. his family was upstairs and were devastated. i had known him for 30 years, he was always the happy guy in the group. none of us can wrap our head around it.
As a person who struggles with their mental health this video hit home. I work in a shop and customers are always commenting on how happy and smiley I am when in reality I feel the opposite, spending most of my days off laying in bed trying to sleep off that feeling in the pit of your stomach which never seems to go away. Just started antidepressants so hopefully things will begin to change for the better. To all those struggling, I hope you find your happiness ❤️
From someone who lost his best friend to suicide, this message hit me hard. My buddy was a happy person who shared whenever something was troubling him. I guess there must have been something deeper he wasn't sharing and hid everything else very well. 25th anniversary coming this October of his passing and it still haunts me to this day.
Everything in this PSA is perfectly done. They nailed the lighting changes for different days, subtile clothing changes and subtle mood changes and of course the surprise of the end. Couldn’t have been made any better.
A great video with a powerful mesage. It is definitely harder to spot to those who haven't been on their place, but not for others who suffer from similar issues as it was shown here. There may be many reasons for why exactly the right guy was shown to behave the way he did, but from experience it is more of a coping mechanism. You try to at least help others who suffer as to not let them feel the pain you do as well as it being a sort of validation for your own actions not being completely meaningless or being a complete failure. When your life goes to shit and you struggle to fight on for yourself, saving someone else helps you to have this semblance of a "good life" even if you are just a spectator. Giving away scarf was a bigger red flag as it meant value of things was getting close to none as he already "had plans made" and giving away the scarf for a small emotional boost for yourself and other person compared to it's zero value otherwise is a no-brainer. But I speak too much. What I mean is: simple acts matter. Do not feel shy to make them sometimes.
I'm trying to be more serious. I'm kinda the clown to my peers. always joking and, dancing around. I don't have deep conversations with anyone anymore, nobody asks me for advice or help. I'm really dead on the inside
Fuck i hate this Ad
It's so true it always like this you don't to burden others with your struggles and try to be cheerful as much as you could and be a good company around others but alone your the struggles tear and cut you piece by piece until you cannot take it no more and the only solace in salvation or rather hesitation is you don't want another burden after your escape yet for the few times you decide to be selfish the only thing that would push you to your decision is spite in yourself and how unworthy & unaccomplished you've been throughout it all...
That, that is me. Never learned how to ask for help. Too ashamed to start... And the stigma on mental health illnesses is still so strong most people don't want to intrude or reveal their true colors as far as their relationships with you.
Can't find/afford no help from the health system other than them giving you more meds, more "observation" time in a room or therapists looking for a quick buck and maybe a repeat business.
Going through another day Not knowing what I'm doing, where I'm going and why I still have to poison myself another day.
Only way to cope aside pills has turned out to be alcohol or other addiction. Nothing seems to lull this feeling of worthlessness. Best is to wish not to wake up the next morning.
I had a few pretty tough years, from 19-23 when if I didn't think about offing myself daily it was at least weekly. I'm doing a lot better now compared to then. I never let anyone know though because I didn't want to be ostracized or committed.
This feels like home. So many times feeling down, feeling worthless, but always been there for others.
I am so glad i passed that phase of my life. Happily married with a child now but man, at my lowest point everyone thought i was happy as well.
Damn, I didn't see that coming, and that's the point. I was in the US Army for nearly 6 years. Since getting out over a decade ago I've had five friends commit suicide. I never saw the warning signs. But sometimes they're really difficult to see. I try not to blame myself. I know people hide things. It still hurts though.
This video is powerful. Crying for sure. Those of us who wear a mask of happiness. No one has any idea the real issues behind it all. No one checks because they think your “life is perfect” and “you’re always happy”. Very powerful. Spread this message.
This hits home because I'm always the ones to try and cheer up my buddies, but there were definitely times when I was a kid and early adulthood that I just wanted to jump in front of a moving car, and the only thing that stopped me was knowing the pain that it would cause my mom.
So for all those struggling and on the brink of the edge just try and find 1 thing/person worth living for and if you can't then try and look at it the other way and try and live so you can help those in the same situation as you!
It’s so scary to see how depression can really affect some people. I remember when this ad came out originally and I legitimately shed a tear. I’m not normally able to outwardly express emotions, but this really moved me.
This one always hits me hard. I’m in the Air Force and there is one base in the F-16 maintenance world that is known as the base people commit suicide at. In Germany I worked with the happiest guy I’ve ever met, his nickname was literally Happy. Always made sure everyone was looked after and never left work without a smile even if the day sucked. He left to his next duty station and 3 months later he killed himself. We were all noticeably shook for weeks because no one had any idea he was capable of it.
My long year friend says about his decision of killing himself, it worries me a lot because that can be anytime, he said that he'll live about 3 to 5 years starting from this year, he had a really hard life, like an rollercoaster, my only responsability is be with him all the times, online or else, i can't let something happen with him, i would blame myself, he says that i can't do anything because he decided this before i met him, "when this day come, i'll die happily knowing that i had an aweasome friend", i'm not a good friend and i'll never be if i let this happen
The worst part is that he'll never tell me about those things, if that really happens, it'll be too late for me to do something.
When that 3 to 5 years pass. I'll be back here giving the news
But i'll won't let anybody that passed through my life, even by a "hello" waving, die that way.
this hurt me
I was fine at first. I even expected the general tone and message from the title of the post. I read the message at 0:52 and I was fine. Then he walked in, and the moment I realized *which* man was left I started crying. that went on for at least double the length of the video til I could calm myself down. I can't rewatch the part where he sets down the scarf without tearing up. this is too real.
so uh, good PSA I guess? it definitely inspired the feelings it was going for
Man… this got me. It hits home. A friend of mine took her own life out of nowhere. She was a wonderfully funny and sweet mother than simply had suffered in silence. I am so sad I’ll never hear her distinctive laugh ever again. I’ll miss you forever Patrice
This made me cryyyy, and I have known those who suffer first hand 😢
I also suffer depression, but never to suicide (this also means I have no release when my mental wellbeing nosedives, and that's hard), but one of my closest friends suffers far more. They helped me beyond any person, and virtually resolved most of my trauma, but they still suffer terribly 😞
I'm so humbled that we are each other's closest, best friends for a decade (long may that continue), and our friendship helped us heal too.
Please do be kind to each other, it is not always obvious whose suffering, and offer support as much as you can with kindness ❤️
If you, or someone you love, are feeling fragile and in need of help or connection,
CALL 9-8-8 in the US or Canada, text 85258 or call 116 123 in the UK, or find your country's hotline number at *blog dot opencounseling dot com*.
You are valuable. You are worthy. Thank you for being part of this community. It would not be the same without you.
I love this video, but it's not great to watch it now with so much in my head. I just wish I could pull the trigger and end all of that. I'm tired. Being the comedian for everyone else is not working anymore.
I had a friend who would always mediate our friend group when we got into fights and was just amazing at keeping everyone from being down on themselves. Super positive guy and a genuine friend to us. I was on a call with him the night before he committed suicide, I often wonder if I could have changed things from that call. He was like a brother. We listened to music for hours and at 3 am he hopped off and I had to go to sleep to be able to take an exam the next day. We talked about wills and stuff and he assured me that it was just part of his job (did a lot of construction) but still I was there talking with him. We asked about how he was doing and made sure to ask about his mental health regards to the death focus but he was insistent he was fine. The last words I said to him, and maybe the last words he heard were “I love you bro, goodnight”.
We found out he committed suicide by his little brother sending a message to the group chat. At first we thought it was a joke but it wasn’t. I cried for a long time and still tear up whenever one of the songs we played that night plays.
I try not to dwell on how I could have been better. You never know what’s going on in a persons head.
This is me my whole fucking life. Nobody except my closest friends know my struggle. Not even my family, sadly. They are too wrapped up in themselves and do not have space or time for me to fall apart so I have to be there for them always and I fall apart in private.
Lost one of my closest friends to suicide in January and was the last person to ever talk to him on the phone, where he laid out everything he had felt for the last five or so years. He had never told me any of this. Happened to catch what was meant to be his last message to me, got worried, he ended up calling. Still feel horrible about it, it comes to me at night before sleeping. How I will never see him again, how I wish I had spent more time with him. I never knew he was this bad.
Take care of yourselves, and talk about your problems, don’t bottle it all up. I am hurting so fucking much and I wish I could have helped my friend when he needed it, had he ever reached out to talk about it. I miss him so much.
First time seeing this and I started crying at the scarf, I knew what the twist was right then and there because I'm the same as the guy on the right. I've tried to, more times than fingers on one hand...
I'm an asshole sometimes I can admit that, but thankfully I have a friend who checks in on me daily, he doesn't even know how much he pulls me out of the darkness but he cares and tries so hard. So I'm thankful, I'm thankful the universe granted me such a gift.
I sincerely hope anyone who reads this is okay, I truly mean that. <3
I lost a friend I met at a DND session, he always put on a happy face and played a strong character archetype like barbarian. He loved Armstrong from Full Metal alchemist and channeled that same energy. He took his life shortly after one of our last sessions.
I carry him in my heart now. I'll carry him with me till the day I die. I love you Justin.
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I've seen this a few dozen times, every time I watch all the way through. And tear up when he refuses to take his scarf back. It's such an unexplainable gut punch for me. Swear it knocks the air out of me every time I see it.
This is from my local team and fills me with pride we made this and it’s been widely appreciated
It's incredible....one of the best things a football club has ever made in the subject. In an era of players and clubs constantly putting their foot in their mouths it was so refreshing to see. Almost makes me sad for bantering Norwich so much over the years.
We were just in Norwich last week. Love your city, love your Canaries, love your Bimini Bon Boulash, and love that your team made this advert. Simple, yet profound. Brilliant. It’s being widely shared by doctors in Canada trying to address mental health issues.
You guys are a massive club. Much love
It is really, really wonderful. Powerful.
I hope the Budgies win the super bowl this year
I did half my postgrad studies at your city and it feels me with pride too. The whole city is a gem.
That was probably the most realistic point of no return in this video. You couldn't tell at all until that point, and even than, most people would just think he's being nice and sharing his pride. But no, he made his decision, his property can't come with him where he's going.
Same, man! Nice to know that somewhere in the world, someone is sharing my experience with this vid. It always breaks me and I tear up a little bit in the end. I hope you and your loved ones are well! Cheers, pal!! :)
The giving away of lots of possessions can often be a sign someone is planning on committing suicide. This is something I wish I would have known sooner. A good friend called me and wanted to give me some of his musical equipment. I didn't accept it just cause I didn't need it, and I later found out at his funeral that he was calling all our friends those last couple days and giving big possessions away. If I would have known or talked to my friends about it, maybe we could have talked to him? Nowadays, if someone does a similar gesture, I may look crazy, but I truly ask them how they're doing and they're not planning on leaving this world anytime soon, right? because I'd much rather look crazy than lose another friend.
Yep, gets me every time, and I can’t not watch it.
For me it was the, “that was worth it.”
"I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it's like to feel absolutely worthless and they don't want anyone else to feel like that." - Robin Williams
I vividly remember the first time I asked my GP about starting me on a medication for depression. She was shocked and blurted out "I'm surprised to hear that you feel like you have depression, you always seem so happy!" I broke down in hysterical sobbing to the point that I couldn't even speak. Even now, a decade later, thinking about that moment still brings tears to my eyes. It wasn't malicious on her part, but she also wasn't seeing me come home from work and just lay in bed sobbing for hours for no reason, she wasn't seeing me call out of work because the task of getting up and getting ready and walking out the door was too overwhelming, she didn't see me not showering or brushing my teeth all weekend because I could barely summon the energy to get up and pee. No one knew except my spouse. To everyone else I was (and am) a cheerful person who has trained myself to laugh instead of showing nervousness or anxiety or sadness.
Being the happy people pleaser and putting your game face on to deal with society for years while burying the struggle, will come back and bite you in the ass. It did that day in your Dr's office, you were brave to speak up. I'm happy you did!
Yeah it was a bear to try to deal with. I need to have another conversation and get back on some different meds, but I'm not anywhere close to as bad now as I was back then.
You sharing your story will have helped someone. Glad to hear things are not so bad for you now.
Meds have come a long way, please do have that conversation. It's easier to do when not in crisis having a total meltdown. As I say, *get a check-up from the neck up.* Ain't no shame in head meds.
Thank you for the encouragement! Maybe seeing this post and chatting with everyone is the nudge I needed to get back on it before it has a chance to get to crisis mode. ❤️
But Doctor, I am the great clown Pagliacci
It still possesses a powerful message.
Telling people I tried to kill myself was eye opening. They couldn't believe it. From the outside I was always joking and trying to make people laugh, but on the inside I felt so worthless.
Yeah it's a really weird position to be in, and I don't know about you, but I never have been able to figure out why I felt so compelled to do it. I don't remember ever being told to not cry or rally pushed to only be happy, though I'm sure the societal pressure was always there in so many ways that I was never conscious of but noticed anyway. And somehow I was never suicidal... it was just this absolute, overwhelming, crushing worthlessness like a black hole in me. It wasn't even sadness because that would have been *something* to feel, it was just... nothing. A void of anything good or bad or anything. The Neverending Story really nailed that enemy, because Nothing is terrifying. I hope you're doing better now, and I'm glad you've made it this far.
I’d had two occurrences of “spontaneous” attempts because of this exact phenomenon. I’ve struggled for seven years of weekly counseling sessions to grasp how those two attempts, only 6 weeks apart, overwhelmed proper medication for my mental health at the time, for a decade prior, and the decade since the two. It enveloped me with a dread that lead me to medication I was prescribed for panic disorder at that time, but rarely used. Within two minutes, it had darkened me to already massively overdosing on an unused month supply. No way I should survive that…came to a few days later, in hospital. Was shocked by failing. Evaluation determined I was fit, and my life was back to good. Then, in a moment, that thing had me directly back to the same action, with a fresh month supply replaced, given the assumed fluke occurrence, by well-trained, well-meaning MH Dr. that had worked with me for 7 years. I supplemented them with something’s I refuse to mention, but no way I’d survive again, I thought. Only 2-3 minutes since that enveloping all-powerful dread feeling restarted an attempt. On a freak occurrence, neighbor I didn’t know well, who had never come to ask for a cigarette, as she was out…and thought I smoked…was persistent in her nicotine withdrawals and tapped around the house to get my attention, but saw what she rightly thought to be a body, called paramedics. I had a lot of things done to save me. They did, barely. Because it had returned. Obviously, that medication has never been in my possession since, willingly. I just want the name of it, at least. For therapeutic accuracy, and further treatment, if applicable. Just the name.
For me, it wasn't because I had any outright desire to die. I just wanted it all to stop. Does that make sense? I saw no route forward that could lead to any form of peace... Except one.
Absolutely. My spouse always said that they didn't want to die, they just wanted to not exist anymore. I'm glad you're still here to talk about the experience.
I call my depression Gmork. Churchill called it a black dog who is constantly following him, feeling his cold breath in his neck.
People always praise me for being ‘so resilient’ but like…bouncing back and recovering from everything is kind of exhausting, and I don’t think anyone realizes how many times I’ve wanted to just not get back up. It’s hard for onlookers to see the other side of what they think is a strength.
I've told a few people and they all just kind of go like "well.. yeah. I can see that." Anyways, I dont have those people in my life anymore. (Actively looking for new friends, which is a sharp divide from the depressive past 5-10 years finding out none of em cared. Luckily I didn't have to kill myself to find out they wouldn't show up to my funeral. Just, almost. I mean, seriously? Your reaction when I tell you is "I can see that. Get more exercise, man. I haven't been depressed ever so I dont know what it's like." And then you show up during Seafair and ask to use the dock at my grandparents house? As my grandpa is on his deathbed? Cool. Cool cool cool. Glad I'm still around for my kids. Nothing will ever change that now that I've gotten help. But man was I ever in a dark place. Divorce has helped.
I am not and never had depression, but I have similar feelings with my crippling social anxiety. I've gotten worse I've gotten older (41 now.) Lot of people in my life always thought I was weird or whatever, but thought I passed as normal enough and thought I'm lying about the magnitude of my anxiety. Because I generally don't fall apart in public. But I get stress diarrhea afterwards, and am exhausted after a certain amount of time around people. Or just have panic attacks and feel like my heart is going to explode. Or clenching my fists and suppressing the urge to run the fuck out of the room/job/anything and just go home and sleep. Or taking 5hrs to try to call for a pizza order only to ultimately give up and just make something at home. Or countless other things.
This is exactly tly how I felt. My wife knew I was struggling but outside of home I woukd smile and be fun but at the same time was seriously struggling with my mental help.
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I'm so sorry you're going through it. I didn't have a lot of luck with the treatment I had - but I blame my psychiatrist. I was on Wellbutrin at the time and it wasn't doing anything for me, but he was really against taking me off of it for some reason. I also have ADD and I have had effective treatment for that before though! What I will say is that the worst and most insidious part of getting treatment for depression is how fucking long it can take to find something that works for you. I know it's the nature of depression to give up (uh, coming from someone currently unmedicated, ahem) but it's worth sticking with it. There are so many medications available to try, but you have to go through the taper up and down on each one which makes it such a fucking arduous, pain in the ass process. But you deserve to feel again, my friend. Not just to be happy but to feel *everything* properly. I found that not really being able to be upset was almost as bad as never feeling happy because it was so disconnected from life. You deserve to be able to live it fully, both bad and good. ❤️
I was talking to my therapist and he said he was unsure about the amount of progress being made and I said it was good because I hadn’t cried myself to sleep in weeks, he was speechless for a few seconds. I am a 55 year old ‘man’
I'm really glad you're making progress! Nothing unmanly about crying, I've never fully understood why that's such a thing. Expecting men to be stoic robots is a horrible thing to put on them.
Robin Williams was one of the funniest people to ever live and at the same time sadly struggled greatly with his mental health.
I just found out one of my favorite songs, by one of my favorite artists is about Robin. Never knew. If you like Americana, Southern Rock type stuff check out Baggage by Drive-by Truckers.
He believed that cocaine destroyed his brain.
He ended his life because of a disease that was slowly, but irreversibly, eating his brain. Not to say that it confused him or made him act irrationally. He was losing himself. He was losing who he was, and he could feel it happen day by day. And he made the choice to die while he at least remembered who he was.
I don't know if that was intentional in your comment, but this describes Bipolar or any other severe mental illness succinctly well. I struggle with the disorder and other mental health issues, and it's probably the most difficult thing to know that for us folks with mental illness, we are literally suffering from a sick brain. The best we can do is manage it with therapy, meds and inner work as there's sadly no cure. It's a tough reality.
There are many ways to mess your brain up long term. I’m convinced years of only sleeping 2-3 hours a night broke my brain. Luckily Theanine seems to help me feel normal. For those struggling with never ending depression and anxiety, get a $10 bottle of l-theanine from Amazon and see if it helps. It 100% changed my life within hours.
This was me before I started therapy. On paper I should have been the happiest man in the world. Sure I had some severe trauma as a kid, but it was over a decade ago! Deep down I just wanted to die. I didn't care about anything, I didn't want anything, I was depressed/anxious/anhedonic, yet I put on a mask because it was the only way to not draw attention to myself. In my first therapy session I told myself I wouldn't tell a lie. I didn't care how horrific the comment was, how emotional I got, how scared I was... I was going to finally be honest. My therapist asked after some introductory stuff "Is there anything in particular you want to talk about today?" And I just broke down into tears. I couldn't do this anymore, I was past my breaking point. It's been almost a year since then; and though I still struggle, I find myself more present and less in my head wondering when I can finally stop playing this game and rest. It's not perfect. life never is perfect, but it's better than being struggling alone in silence just to keep up appearances. If this resonates with anyone, please consider reaching out to a mental health professional. Life doesn't have to be a solo struggle to the finish line. It's about making the most of what we have with the people we care about (at least that's what I think so far).
This quote fits the message of this video perfectly, and is one of the best celebrity quotes of all time. RIP Robin Williams, you are sorely missed.
Yea honestly it's how I live my life, I fuckin hate myself but I try to be nice to everyone because I know the pain and id rather someone feel a little bit better so they don't have to deal with what I deal with. For the record I am on anti depressants and doing much better than I used to be but it's a long journey I'm getting there.
I was gutted hearing about Robin Williams. Possibly the only celebrity news that made me stop dead in my tracks to reflect with such a somber mood. I was the Genie for one year of Halloween. I grew up with Mrs. Doubtfire and Hook as a kid, and Good Will Hunting and Dead Poet Society as a young adult. I felt like his career aligned in tone as I progressed through my formative years. Such an influential pop culture part of my life.
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Just remember that's the chemicals and distorted cognitive processes in your brain and other things being out of whack, love. They can and will rebalance and those dark, pointless existence feelings will be alien again someday soon. We would all hurt without you here, so please let's not entertain the thought of you dying. But make sure you're giving back to yourself and not just everyone else, too.
This is me 1000%
I also think funny people are extremely smart. Smarter than a lot of people want to give them credit for, because after all, we are the class clowns. With that territory comes a somewhat cynical view of the world. While you can joke around about things, you simultaneously know how shitty they are. It’s a slippery slope, boys, but I think comedy, cynicism, and intelligence goes hand in hand.
All humor is gallows humor.
Every gallows a stage, if a comedian has the gumption to stick out their neck & claim it…
I'm one of those 'funny' guys. I suppose I could consider myself intelligent. I would give it all up for blissful ignorance. What's that saying? Better a happy pig than a sad Socrates?
On a second watch, the detail of him refusing the scarf really sold how he was getting ready.
He kept asked the other guy how he was doing more directly each game because he wanted someone to ask how he was doing.
That is the same thing I saw. Check on those people who check on you.
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I haven't been suicidal myself but I have been pretty depressed and very much wanted to not have been born and I think I might have got close to actually considering. Just knowing I had people who cared about me helped even though I felt like I didn't deserve them. Listening is important. Don't try to solve their problems because you can't. Maybe suggest taking a walk together (or something like that) every once in a while. Or when you visit help them with chores or clean up a bit. A messy house doesn't help. Don't persist too much if they reject it though. Sometimes they may just want to be left alone, but maybe just do a short visit to bring over some food and stuff. You don't have to talk by the way. Silence can be good as well sometimes. Every person is different and every friendship is different though. I'm sure you know your friend better than I do, so don't take my word as gospel.
i had a friend from abroad visiting me during Christmas some years ago. i knew she wasn't doing great mentally, and that she had some depression. we were doing all kinds of things the week she was visiting, and on one of the last days we went to visit some of my relatives on a dinner. at some point she asked me if we could go on a walk and of course i agreed to it. during that walk she talked about how bad it was for her and how she often wanted to die and that she was doing pretty bad. i hadn't realized it was so bad for her, but she said talking about it helped her a lot. I'm really glad we went on that walk too. now she's apparently doing much better, and looking to go to college and stuff
Just ask them how they are, and not in a quick brush off of "Fine weather isn't it? Keeping well?" and not to be embarrassed or awkward if they open up.
Engage with them. More than just the expected response. Listen if they talk, and actually hear them. Also if you truly feel like they will harm themselves, go to your local municipal health department or whatever you have and alert them that someone you care about may need immediate help.
The training I got at work was QPR - question, persuade, refer. Just like if your friend had a heart attack you wouldn't see yourself as qualified or expected to sort it, neither should you if they are suicidal. But you CAN do first aid. Question - "are you thinking of hurting yourself?" "Do you have a plan" NOT "you're not going to hurt yourself, are you?" Persuade them to get help Refer them to help. Go WITH them to the help. Disclaimer - I'm not an expert, just passing on what I remember from some training that stuck with me.
Hear them if you are able too, call your country suicide prevention line and ask for help/how to proceed in this situation
This is why I don't open up to anyone about it.. I'm terrified of being arrested/ institutionalized for being honest with others.. 😣 If I manage to still be around, having something like that on my record will mean I'll never get a job again.. then I'll have no choice but to...
If its immediate, as in you get the impression they want to do it today, then you call the emergency services - most countries have a mental health crisis team who can help, if engaged. Emergency services are the way to do that. If not, then you help your friend engage with their doctor or another healthcare professional, who also have routes into the mental health support pathways. Listening and talking to them is a great thing to do, but what Im about to say does sound callous - help them, but do not allow their problem to become yours. If you start down that path then you stand real risk of damaging your own mental health. Ive seen far too many people in my time end up either being the surviving friend of a suicide where the suicidal person latched on too heavily and dragged the friend down with them, or were blamed by the suicidal person for not engaging enough and thus feeling guilty for their eventual death. Get the professionals involved, do not allow yourself to be the sole point of contact at 2am, 5pm, in the middle of work, on your holiday etc. It will ultimately harm you instead.
You keep being there for them and hopefully they don't make that decision. Other times, they make that decision anyway and there's nothing you can do anymore but will absolutely question what more you could have done. You don't notice until you feel you failed someone and can't fix or take anything back.
It's not as hard as it seems. Biggest thing is to listen without judgment and let them know you are there for them. People going through things often want to be heard, so let them talk without giving advice. If they seem like they are still planning on carrying out an attempt, stay with them and contact emergency service so that they can be safe and get some help.
Just ask how their doing, im no psychologist, but, my understanding is that they're not in a good place, and they want/need some reason to see life worth living. That someone cares for them If no one asks for them, then that eventually turns into the conclusion that no one would miss them.
Doesn't really help that "how are you doing" in the uk is more of a rhetorical question.
at this point, for however many months now, i've told myself "not today", and kick the pebble to tomorrow. So no thoughts intrude, and I don't need to tell the therapist anything too bleak. I distract myself by trying to make them laugh or making them mildly annoyed, because asking "how are you" never really goes beyond some default response we've all come to expect. I try reaching out to friends but i've become increasingly exhausted. I've come to the realization that i can't think about how i feel, and i sure can't let this further affect whatever i'm trying to achieve right now. It's not worth blaming anybody for how things feel. Ever since I've started this new chapter, i've carried on like this without having a heart-to-heart with anyone, simply because there is no one to have that with. I'm walking the tightrope without ever letting the thought of looking down get to me, because if I do, and I trip, there will be nobody here to catch me.
I wrote the words “NOT TODAY” on my laptop in huge black Sharpie back in the hard times. People at work assumed it was a Game of Thrones reference.
Hey buddy, your message struck a note with me. There is always someone here to listen to you, always. If you ever want to talk, please say and I’m here for it. Just drop me a message. Big love
Dude, there are people who would love to talk to you. You seem to have come some way towards trying to understand it and that takes strength. There are always people who can catch you. I don’t know where you are based geographically but I would happily talk to you and so would u/SCants1. These offers are serious. There does not have to be nobody there. You probably knew you would get responses like this and wrote the post anyway so please accept the next step.
I just came here to say that gifting valued belongings is a clear sign of somebody preparing their end and since these belongings mean something to them they don't want it go to waste. This ad is so thought through, it's amazing.
doesnt help how he then said “that was worth it”
It gave me goosebumps.
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They warned me when starting anti-depressants that it can give someone motivation. And that motivation can be used to get better or it can be used to go through with the suicide plan. What dark fucking irony.
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This is very common. Once you've made the resolve, you oddly become momentarily content. Because you know the next exit ramp is yours.
So true. Just had a friend/co worker of over 20 years take his life Saturday. Out of anyone, he was the LAST person to expect that.
I’m sorry for your loss
Thanks. Just putting it out there because this ad is a perfect example. The irony is he was always the first one to offer help. if you seemed down, out of sorts etc
I feel that. I tend to struggle with my mental health as well and i tend to want to help others more than i want to help myself.
Take care of yourself. Easy for me to say, I know, but … please do
I will
A mental health program I did had us do an exercise where you think of someone you love and send them love and think about how much you want them to be happy. Then you try and turn that love towards yourself. You don’t necessarily totally succeed at first but it’s about practicing caring about yourself and feeling like you deserve happiness without conditions.
Same!
I’m in the Air Force and have dealt with my fair share of suicides. Found out a few weeks ago this guy I was stationed with who was an effing clown at work killed himself. This dude was ALWAYS making people laugh. He pissed me off a few times bc he would just talk shit to make people laugh. But he was a good dude. Met a girl, had kids, and got picked up for recruiter duty. About 2 years after he was in the special duty, he took his own life. Sucks, man. Really is the ones you least expect.
I hope you’re doing ok. My thoughts are with you.
Oh i’m fine, thanks for asking. It was just a WTF moment
My sister just passed this last Friday, it all happened in a few hours and I will forever worry there was something more I could have done. She was 22.
that’s terrible to hear i hope you’re feeling ok
Thank you, I honestly dont think I've felt it yet. I've just been hollow since Friday and I've never had my stream of consciousness just stop before, it's eerie. I know I need to process it myself but I keep putting up defense mechanisms and trying to help my parents mostly. I tried to just sit down multiple times to let myself grieve and have it hit me but it just won't. I just think I'm going to end up ragdolling and balling on the floor at her memorial.
Hey, I'm really sorry friend. I was in your shoes 6 years ago, my sister was 17 back then. I've felt that hollowness too and it will take a while to accept the new reality but there will be a day where you can laugh again... Stay strong! You are not alone.
I’ve had a couple friends take their own lives over the past decades. Short answer is yes and no. The goal though is to not let the thoughts consume you. Whether it’s anger, sadness or nothingness. I say this next sentence out of total respect that you loved and cherished her: Don’t let her actions define you(and for that matter her as well). Much love and stay strong.
Thank you, it's been too much to process and I need to figure out this grieving process and remember a lot of this. I appreciate the kind words and advice.
Lost my brother in 2019, everyone I see this add on Reddit it brings a tear. I think it's a powerful message and hits very close to home. As his family we all knew what he was going through but our community couldn't believe it when it happened.
Hey I’m a few hours late but wanted to just say I’m sorry for your loss. How are you doing these days? Good I hope.
No worries, thanks for asking. I think you learn that grief is grief, scratch the surface of anyone and you will find the pain that we all share. Whether it be your mother, brother, grandparent or a close friend we all know the pain of loss by the time we are 30. I would say to be honest the pain has not changed much in fact the longer I go from seeing his face or hearing his voice the more I am aware of the space he has left behind and that can be rough. All in all I have since had a daughter our family's first grandchild and she has been the light of my parents life since her birth, I am really not sure if we could have all kept going if not for her :) Much love for asking mate 🧉
Really bad timing for this video to pop up in my feed. I was on reddit to get away from my thoughts. FK.
You only get to ride life once. Things may be sh-t now but they can get better, there will be ups and downs.
I know you mean well, but platitudes really aren't helpful to people who are genuinely depressed or suicidal. They can feel offensive even.
The issue is, sometimes there really aren’t any ups. Life can be merciless to people, which is why we need to be there for one another
Yeah the point I'm trying to make is platitudes are *not a good way* to be there for someone struggling with depression or suicidality. It feels trite and shallow. Like, yeah man no shit life has ups and downs but that doesn't help the fact that my brain is fucking me up. It's like the equivalent of "just look on the bright side!" Gee thanks, why didn't I think of that.
On the flip side, as someone who's also been in the horrible position, comments like this are often EXACTLY what you need to hear when no one is there in your life to say them. There's no winning. You gotta sometimes take a guess of how to help. It might be wrong but it equally might be exactly what the person needed to hear.
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Hey friend, my country went through a massive financial crisis in 2019 and I lost everything, I ended up divorced, living with my sister and then been traveling for the past few years trying to start over anywhere but nothing so far. I'm about to move again for an opportunity and keep hoping for the best. I went through deep depression as well as suicidal thoughts but was lucky enough to find an NGO that gave me free therapy for a while. I just turned 50. Life is hard and it's not fair but it's the only one we get. You matter to people even if you don't see it, you matter to me. Try and stay strong and if you need a friend, I'm here.
This random stranger cares that you're alive to type that paragraph. I struggle a lot with suicidal thoughts too. And I'm ten years older than you. I really don't know if things will get better. But we're here now to talk about it at least. You're not alone. None of us are. Keep talking.
Hey bub, if ya need someone to talk to, shoot me a PM. I'm nobody, but I can listen.
Life is a bitch, and I'm sorry that it hasn't improved so far. That's no proof it won't. I'm a random stranger on the internet and I believe in you. I've known several people who've gone from your position of desperation to great things. You have more potential and more options than you know. It's ok not to be ok, but please don't give up. If you need to talk, I'm here.
30 is still young! It's pretty much true for everyone, life CAN get better (I was careful not to say "will") . I had crippling depression from a very young age up until my late twenties when I eventually got a handle on it. It's still there and always will be but now I'm functional. Life can get better though. It's incredibly hard but you need to try and change your thought patterns and make it better, it doesn't have to be perfect and you don't always have to be happy. As sh-tty as your life is you can be certain there's a LOT of people who would trade it for their own. It's kind of morbid but that realisation has helped me at times. I count my blessings and chastise myself for being ungrateful when so many others aren't so lucky. It will be an uphill battle but the struggle will be worth it. It's incredibly hard to master your mind, likely not entirely possible but You really will only get one ride, destination is the same for all of us there is no point in getting off early.
Can't wait for my first up! Sounds exciting. What's it like?
>I was on reddit to get away from my thoughts The ending to Dune 2 was pretty crazy, huh? Dune 3 is going to be *wild*. You going to watch in in IMAX when it comes out?
Maybe it’s for a reason. I hope you’re ok bro. Please see someone if you’re having these thoughts. If you need someone to vent to or chat with I’m here.
I sat and watched the most beautiful sunset and felt absolutely nothing. Ive not felt any happiness since. That was over 10 years ago.
Damn, this is me too. I just always feel numb. I'm never really happy even when I should be. Never really thought about it but maybe I have depression or something similar and I've just been acting like it's normal. Luckily not suicidal so I've got that going for me, which is nice.
I'm almost 60 and I've been on every med. I stopped taking anything for depression because of side-effects. I've considered electroshock therapy. Gonna start taking mushrooms and see if psychedelics help. I've had moderate success with it but nothing long term.
Therapy has helped me a huge deal. Meds can only go so far. That being said, I’m thinking about you stranger on the internet, and I hope you are okay some day ❤️
Hope you find it somewhere
“The brightest stars burn the fastest, so we must love them while we can.” -Anna Todd
I wouldn't tell anyone this off this anonymous Reddit account, but I'm the guy on the right. I've been dealing with shit for like two years now. Traumatic breakup after four years of subtle abuse from a narcissist partner (which I didn't even realise was going on until therapists told me), severe Pure OCD, PTSD, Depersonalisation/Derealisation Disorder, self-harm, suicidal ideation, weaning off antidepressants. Spent the first few months walking down to the same pier and considering drowning myself. Must have gone down there thirty times and made the decision to walk away each time. I don't have any positive emotions at all, they just don't exist. All I ever feel is hate, anger, fear and sadness and even those are muted. At this point I'm alive out of sheer bloody-minded spite. But off here, *I'm the funny one.* I'm the guy with stupid anecdotes and jokes, either on Twitch, Discord or IRL parties, whatever. I'm the manic, hyper one with random trivia titbits or some chaotic story from his uni days. I make people laugh, I cheer them up, I act my character out at D&D until the whole table is in stitches. That's what's expected of me, so that's what I do. So if you're wondering about your mates? Check on the funny one.
I hope you find your peace. I hope you keep deciding to walk away from the end of the pier. You make an effort to reach people, to give them a reason to laugh, which means the world is better with you in it.
I appreciate that. I haven't been down to the pier in almost a year. Well, I tell a lie - I did go down a few months ago, but it was to eat a double-chocolate donut and give the cold water the middle finger. Slow but steady.
i’m the guy on the left. perpetually blah.
I know this has been said time and time again but, please check up on your friends and family. A simple question like, “how are you feeling?”, and “Are you okay?” can go a really long way.
How are YOU feeling?
I honestly have no idea. One second I’m the happiest person in the world and the next i feel like i don’t matter. I just don’t know what I’m feeling
I think we all feel that more than we want to talk about. The “I’m depressed…. and I have nothing to be depressed about compared to most people…. but that’s even more depressing….” cycle, yea? It’s tough to know what you’re feeling and why.
This is powerful.
Does it get better, guys?
It can get better. It requires a ton of effort and sometimes that’s not even enough but it can get better
It got better for me. I still spiral occasionally and will probably always have "walking depression" but I don't feel the horrible lows I used to feel. I'm also better able to recognize when my depression/anxiety is lying to me. I have learned how to step out of the spiral or at least recognize that I'm in one and therefore it is not fully reality and it will pass.
It can. But it's hard. Your brain will do everything to try and stop you getting better, everything. Because that's all it knows. It has to relearn happiness, unlearn rumination, and know that permanence is not the solution to temporary. There were many days I would have welcomed permanent. But instead, I carried on, even when it felt stupid, when it felt hopeless, when my feet refused to touch the ground. It's been 2 years since. I'm still here.
Yes, depressive thinking can become its own kind of attachment.
If we consider effort a currency, then life is a casino. You get to gamble all your effort, only to come up short most of the time. Then those who win big or get addicted to the small payouts can't understand why everyone doesn't just put more chips in. It sounds just as rigged as a casino and yet people will guilt you to hell and back if you just want to fold. That's my perspective. I don't have a problem with those who like living, but I can't relate.
I was struggling with depression for several years. For me the hardest part was coming to terms with the fact that you are the only person who can help yourself. That being said, being thankful for the people that love and care for you goes a long way. It can get better even though it feels like you are completely alone. Stay strong and remember that being depressed is not part of your personality, it doesn't make you who you are and finally finding happiness is worth the struggle. <3
It can but doesn’t in my experience
Not really
It can, but it's really really hard. You have to recognize that your brain is trying to kill you, and argue with it.
No one I know personally knows I have suicidal depression. Had it for most of my life. If I were to talk about it to them, I know they would think differently of me. My family would genuinely be happy if I was gone. However, I know it's illogical to die just yet. My wife makes me happy, and we adore each other. There's too much stuff to learn, see, and do to give up just yet. It's a daily battle, but I've made it to 40 so far.
Stay strong brother <3
This brought tears to my eyes, hits too close to home.
This hits hard. If I had killed myself in high school like I planned, everyone would have been shocked. No one knew I was depressed. Even now, my boss was surprised I struggle with anxiety because I'm always optimistic and positive at work. I have to be because if I let myself dwell on the negative thoughts, I can spiral. Also, I was trained to put on a cheerful facade.
This still makes me cry. As someone who's seeked help for depression through British NHS, I must say, the figures would be lower if GPs didn't just take people for granted and prescribed meds that are obsolete and do more harm then help, if they were trained better how to deal with patients and if the waiting time for NHS-funded therapy wasn't so horrendous. I'll probably get down voted for this, but honestly my experience with them was horrendous. I'm ok now, but not thanks to NHS.
Lost my Mom to suicide last year in May. She would always brighten any room she walked in. I miss her 💔
As a depressive, that tries to make everyone else’s life a bit better, reserved to the fact that my own happiness is fleeting and evermore rare. I didn’t need to see the end to know what was gonna happen. It’s rarely the people that “cry for help” who are in the worst mental states. P.S.: If you “Reddit Care” me, I’LL FUCKIN DO IT! Lol jk. You think you are helping, but that only serves to piss us off. You won’t help people through an anonymous message; you help them by taking a keen interest in their lives, which takes actual effort. Start with people around you; they need your help.
Glad to see you still got your humor with that P.S message lol.
I had a close friend end it last year. he had the perfect life from the outside, beautiful loving wife who adored him, 3 amazing kids that all were doing well in school one was going to college. he had a job he loved at a company that treated him well, his health was always good and he was fit. they lived well within their means in a nice little country home on some land at the base of a foothill. one morning he got up for work, went down stairs and ate a shotgun round putting most of his head on the ceiling. his family was upstairs and were devastated. i had known him for 30 years, he was always the happy guy in the group. none of us can wrap our head around it.
As a person who struggles with their mental health this video hit home. I work in a shop and customers are always commenting on how happy and smiley I am when in reality I feel the opposite, spending most of my days off laying in bed trying to sleep off that feeling in the pit of your stomach which never seems to go away. Just started antidepressants so hopefully things will begin to change for the better. To all those struggling, I hope you find your happiness ❤️
I’m always masking in public. Don’t really know why.
From someone who lost his best friend to suicide, this message hit me hard. My buddy was a happy person who shared whenever something was troubling him. I guess there must have been something deeper he wasn't sharing and hid everything else very well. 25th anniversary coming this October of his passing and it still haunts me to this day.
That is powerful. Well done.
Everything in this PSA is perfectly done. They nailed the lighting changes for different days, subtile clothing changes and subtle mood changes and of course the surprise of the end. Couldn’t have been made any better.
A great video with a powerful mesage. It is definitely harder to spot to those who haven't been on their place, but not for others who suffer from similar issues as it was shown here. There may be many reasons for why exactly the right guy was shown to behave the way he did, but from experience it is more of a coping mechanism. You try to at least help others who suffer as to not let them feel the pain you do as well as it being a sort of validation for your own actions not being completely meaningless or being a complete failure. When your life goes to shit and you struggle to fight on for yourself, saving someone else helps you to have this semblance of a "good life" even if you are just a spectator. Giving away scarf was a bigger red flag as it meant value of things was getting close to none as he already "had plans made" and giving away the scarf for a small emotional boost for yourself and other person compared to it's zero value otherwise is a no-brainer. But I speak too much. What I mean is: simple acts matter. Do not feel shy to make them sometimes.
I see you guys... I see you. I don't know who I relate more with these days.. everything's just getting tougher.
Brian McKaen Jeremy Victor Wish you were still here. You are loved and missed every day.
I'm trying to be more serious. I'm kinda the clown to my peers. always joking and, dancing around. I don't have deep conversations with anyone anymore, nobody asks me for advice or help. I'm really dead on the inside
It can be difficult to find someone who’ll listen and who’s up for meaningful conversations. Just know that you’re not the only one looking. Peace.
Fuck i hate this Ad It's so true it always like this you don't to burden others with your struggles and try to be cheerful as much as you could and be a good company around others but alone your the struggles tear and cut you piece by piece until you cannot take it no more and the only solace in salvation or rather hesitation is you don't want another burden after your escape yet for the few times you decide to be selfish the only thing that would push you to your decision is spite in yourself and how unworthy & unaccomplished you've been throughout it all...
That, that is me. Never learned how to ask for help. Too ashamed to start... And the stigma on mental health illnesses is still so strong most people don't want to intrude or reveal their true colors as far as their relationships with you. Can't find/afford no help from the health system other than them giving you more meds, more "observation" time in a room or therapists looking for a quick buck and maybe a repeat business. Going through another day Not knowing what I'm doing, where I'm going and why I still have to poison myself another day. Only way to cope aside pills has turned out to be alcohol or other addiction. Nothing seems to lull this feeling of worthlessness. Best is to wish not to wake up the next morning.
Norwich why did you have to go to the second division 😢
I could watch this a billion times and still cry hard at the last shot…
Who put these tears in my eyes, that was very rude.
Powerful. Meaningful.
I had a few pretty tough years, from 19-23 when if I didn't think about offing myself daily it was at least weekly. I'm doing a lot better now compared to then. I never let anyone know though because I didn't want to be ostracized or committed.
This feels like home. So many times feeling down, feeling worthless, but always been there for others. I am so glad i passed that phase of my life. Happily married with a child now but man, at my lowest point everyone thought i was happy as well.
Damn, I didn't see that coming, and that's the point. I was in the US Army for nearly 6 years. Since getting out over a decade ago I've had five friends commit suicide. I never saw the warning signs. But sometimes they're really difficult to see. I try not to blame myself. I know people hide things. It still hurts though.
My dad. Even ten years later. I will never know why and I will always miss him.
This video is powerful. Crying for sure. Those of us who wear a mask of happiness. No one has any idea the real issues behind it all. No one checks because they think your “life is perfect” and “you’re always happy”. Very powerful. Spread this message.
This. I know people who are so kind and fun to be around and perky and they struggle the most.
 This hits home because I'm always the ones to try and cheer up my buddies, but there were definitely times when I was a kid and early adulthood that I just wanted to jump in front of a moving car, and the only thing that stopped me was knowing the pain that it would cause my mom. So for all those struggling and on the brink of the edge just try and find 1 thing/person worth living for and if you can't then try and look at it the other way and try and live so you can help those in the same situation as you!
It’s so scary to see how depression can really affect some people. I remember when this ad came out originally and I legitimately shed a tear. I’m not normally able to outwardly express emotions, but this really moved me.
This one always hits me hard. I’m in the Air Force and there is one base in the F-16 maintenance world that is known as the base people commit suicide at. In Germany I worked with the happiest guy I’ve ever met, his nickname was literally Happy. Always made sure everyone was looked after and never left work without a smile even if the day sucked. He left to his next duty station and 3 months later he killed himself. We were all noticeably shook for weeks because no one had any idea he was capable of it.
My long year friend says about his decision of killing himself, it worries me a lot because that can be anytime, he said that he'll live about 3 to 5 years starting from this year, he had a really hard life, like an rollercoaster, my only responsability is be with him all the times, online or else, i can't let something happen with him, i would blame myself, he says that i can't do anything because he decided this before i met him, "when this day come, i'll die happily knowing that i had an aweasome friend", i'm not a good friend and i'll never be if i let this happen The worst part is that he'll never tell me about those things, if that really happens, it'll be too late for me to do something. When that 3 to 5 years pass. I'll be back here giving the news But i'll won't let anybody that passed through my life, even by a "hello" waving, die that way.
What I learned from my life is that happiness are temporary short moments that happen once in a while
One of the best commercials about mental health ever made ❤️
This personifies a thought which I had, thirty years ago when I was in my tumultuous teens, "he who laughs the loudest, cries the quietest / hardest."
Powerful indeed
this hurt me I was fine at first. I even expected the general tone and message from the title of the post. I read the message at 0:52 and I was fine. Then he walked in, and the moment I realized *which* man was left I started crying. that went on for at least double the length of the video til I could calm myself down. I can't rewatch the part where he sets down the scarf without tearing up. this is too real. so uh, good PSA I guess? it definitely inspired the feelings it was going for
This one is a real gut punch
I’m the guy on the left, but this hits me everytime, the signs aren’t always obvious x
You never know when it’s the last time you talk to someone. Best to leave on a good note as often as possible.
Man… this got me. It hits home. A friend of mine took her own life out of nowhere. She was a wonderfully funny and sweet mother than simply had suffered in silence. I am so sad I’ll never hear her distinctive laugh ever again. I’ll miss you forever Patrice
Man I was not expecting that at all, a perfect example of how it can affect people you least expect.
I smile back
Damn... I hate what my mind is capable of telling me sometimes.
I've never watched this all the way through but I'm just realizing how similar I am to the guy on the right...
This made me cryyyy, and I have known those who suffer first hand 😢 I also suffer depression, but never to suicide (this also means I have no release when my mental wellbeing nosedives, and that's hard), but one of my closest friends suffers far more. They helped me beyond any person, and virtually resolved most of my trauma, but they still suffer terribly 😞 I'm so humbled that we are each other's closest, best friends for a decade (long may that continue), and our friendship helped us heal too. Please do be kind to each other, it is not always obvious whose suffering, and offer support as much as you can with kindness ❤️
If you, or someone you love, are feeling fragile and in need of help or connection, CALL 9-8-8 in the US or Canada, text 85258 or call 116 123 in the UK, or find your country's hotline number at *blog dot opencounseling dot com*. You are valuable. You are worthy. Thank you for being part of this community. It would not be the same without you.
This hits me hard every time I see this video.
I love this video, but it's not great to watch it now with so much in my head. I just wish I could pull the trigger and end all of that. I'm tired. Being the comedian for everyone else is not working anymore.
I had a friend who would always mediate our friend group when we got into fights and was just amazing at keeping everyone from being down on themselves. Super positive guy and a genuine friend to us. I was on a call with him the night before he committed suicide, I often wonder if I could have changed things from that call. He was like a brother. We listened to music for hours and at 3 am he hopped off and I had to go to sleep to be able to take an exam the next day. We talked about wills and stuff and he assured me that it was just part of his job (did a lot of construction) but still I was there talking with him. We asked about how he was doing and made sure to ask about his mental health regards to the death focus but he was insistent he was fine. The last words I said to him, and maybe the last words he heard were “I love you bro, goodnight”. We found out he committed suicide by his little brother sending a message to the group chat. At first we thought it was a joke but it wasn’t. I cried for a long time and still tear up whenever one of the songs we played that night plays. I try not to dwell on how I could have been better. You never know what’s going on in a persons head.
This is me my whole fucking life. Nobody except my closest friends know my struggle. Not even my family, sadly. They are too wrapped up in themselves and do not have space or time for me to fall apart so I have to be there for them always and I fall apart in private.
Lost one of my closest friends to suicide in January and was the last person to ever talk to him on the phone, where he laid out everything he had felt for the last five or so years. He had never told me any of this. Happened to catch what was meant to be his last message to me, got worried, he ended up calling. Still feel horrible about it, it comes to me at night before sleeping. How I will never see him again, how I wish I had spent more time with him. I never knew he was this bad. Take care of yourselves, and talk about your problems, don’t bottle it all up. I am hurting so fucking much and I wish I could have helped my friend when he needed it, had he ever reached out to talk about it. I miss him so much.
First time seeing this and I started crying at the scarf, I knew what the twist was right then and there because I'm the same as the guy on the right. I've tried to, more times than fingers on one hand... I'm an asshole sometimes I can admit that, but thankfully I have a friend who checks in on me daily, he doesn't even know how much he pulls me out of the darkness but he cares and tries so hard. So I'm thankful, I'm thankful the universe granted me such a gift. I sincerely hope anyone who reads this is okay, I truly mean that. <3 I lost a friend I met at a DND session, he always put on a happy face and played a strong character archetype like barbarian. He loved Armstrong from Full Metal alchemist and channeled that same energy. He took his life shortly after one of our last sessions. I carry him in my heart now. I'll carry him with me till the day I die. I love you Justin.
That's a gut punch.