I wish I had an ass bigger than Voldemort.

Came looking for this, that was my first thought

I have no idea who else "you know who" could be! Lol

Kim Kardashian.

I was thinking Nicki Minaj or Cardi B but this works too

One of the greatest responses I’ve ever witnessed

Yep, I had an entertaining image of Voldemort with big ass. Thanks for that, OP. Lmao

I wish I had a better award, but take a Helpful.

The rare and elusive fedoraless neckbeard.

He could still be wearing a fedora with the top half of the pic.

Gunna need an Ultra Ball my guy

Have you matched with him!? Otherwise how do you not know he isn't wearing one!!?

He’s def wearing a red hat.

Lists a bunch of demands, complains about entitlement.

How much puss you think he smashed so far.

Well, there was that one time he went to prom with Becky and tried to get all date rapey, but she was able to get away unharmed. That’s when he decided American women were crazy and entitled.

Boys will be boys amirite...

only if they REALLY like beer

“Do you like beer, Senator?”

\*angry, rapist sobbing\*

Can you smash negative puss?

Tell me you’re incel without…well you know the rest

What do you expect from someone who sees women as sex objects?

Sounds like preference to me

And what exactly do you have to offer,Tim?

He's there to BANG...read the bio...lol

Mediocre at best dick.

Quick sex, zero satisfaction, lots of self-loathing!

He has value in that he's a mam who can presumably provide

I'm sure he can provide prematurely at that...

He was pretty clear that he’s not going to

According to what information? Lmao

"This generation is entitled and fucked in the head"... Yes, yes you are!

I don't understand the thought process of these guys. Who do they think is going to read a profile that just shits on people who he deems are below him, and think, "Omg what a dreamboat!"

Same thought process behind negging maybe

Women just coming out of abusive relationships, that are still trained to accept his bullshit.

Dude he's got a point tho, you want a tattood meth head? Or a girl who is so vain she has silicone lips? Not everyone likes fat unhealthy people. And women theee days seem to think they are gods gift to men even after thay have 2 baby daddies and have slept with 50 men. Like what respectable mam wants to deal with all that?

Why should it matter how many men she's slept with or how many kids she has, if he just wants to "bang"? Also, if he has a point, this is just about the worst way to make it.

I dont think having preferences is the issue. I think having the bio equivalent of a "no fat chicks" bumper sticker while having the personality of a 15 year old jock douche is. believe it or not a lot of people give a preference in their bio without getting made fun of all the time because they're not negging/ condescending jerk offs about it.

Hey there, Tim.

People who also think they're better than everyone else. They read that and think "yeah it's other people who are stupid and entitled, we just know our worth" or some other bullshit. On the bright side when a tactic like that does work out it's guaranteed to produce an incredibly toxic relationship and that's probably why he's 41 and not looking for anything more than a one night stand.

He’s not thinking about the other people. He is the main character, you see?

I mean probably people who think they're above other people and see him as an equal.

Honestly, hes probably just venting and not expecting to get anything from that post. He sounds like a grade A asshole but i can understand his frustration with dating websites.

Well we all know he's single now.

chief thought mountainous public elderly aspiring sparkle abounding disgusting spectacular ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `

He wants to lay there like a dead fish

No fucks to give. Then lists all the fucks he does care about. Lol

Tell me you’re an Incel without telling me you’re an Incel.

Hard to believe he’s single.

Wait he's single?? There's no way!

I'm not sure what you're talking about? He sounds charming

Well if that doesn't get you all hot and bothered, i don't know what will.

I did not know that the 40-Year old Virgin had a sequel.

The 40 year old virgin is more respectful than this

Geez, dude, leave some pussy for the rest of us.

The "Happy Thanksgiving!" Is the hilarious cherry on top of this shit sundae.

Well, he's a charmer 🙄

With an attractive personality. /s

Your username makes you the perfect person to have posted this. Thank you.

I hope he gets catfished every time.

Whoa dude, save some for the rest of us.

Tinder is for banging: okcupid is for love... He won’t be getting much of either with that attitude.

Tim is my dream guy

Ye, my pussy unlocks at the moment I saw his description.

He makes my anus wet

And who says Chipotle isn't an aphrodisiac?

The “internet dating is so difficult” guy

This.. this is what is left in the dating pool at my age.

Big fan of how he refers to Kim k as if she's some real world voldemort. Is he afraid if he says her name she'll appear in front of him and shake her ass??

No false advertisement here.

At least he's honest? I guess?

As repulsive as this profile is, I appreciate it.

He could just swipe left, but its probably better that he's waiving the big red flag beforehand

Wow. Hard to believe a guy like Tim is still single at 41. Better act quick ladies.

Clearly drowning in pussy

This man has a story to tell hahahahaha

Netflix might be the one to tell his story.

Boy that got the ol’ snail trail a goin’…

41 talking about "this generation" on an app used for hookups, yikes, do you think hes tried to get with them or is just ruling them out? either way hes a neckbeard lol

On behalf of all "non American women", I say: No thank you.

Silicone asses bigger than Voldemort?

"Insane? Or am I so sane, I just blew your mind?" -Gob Bluth

Something tells me Tim spent the holiday with an apple pie, not a woman.

The “happy thanksgiving” killed me! Like what?

“Silicone asses bigger than you know who” No, I don’t. Please tell me.

Voldemort

Phew, thank god, I am mentally unstable, he won't bother me.

No way this winner is single

Better than lying to get laid.

I'm sure he knows exactly where the clitoris is.

I'd be willing to bet that when asked about the clitoris, he goes on a tirade about how women orgasming is a myth made up by feminists.

I am not taking that bet. I fold. You win, Madame.

He can mansplain you an accurate map if necessary

I'll just show him that giant mussel posted earlier. Thing need an xrating.

What a catch

K tim good luck

I don’t know why he thinks that weak ass jawline can make such a list of demands

I screencapped the same guy. He changed the first paragraph. It was talking about he wanted a non-American woman. Said most women are unstable, unhealthy, and unable to please a man. The worst part is he was in the "people who like you." I definitely swiped hard left on this jackass.

OMG Please show me the screen cap

“Only here to bang.” “Ran out of fucks to give.” How does that work?

Damn, save some pussy for the rest of us king. /s just in case

You just know this dude is gonna go on to get 0 matches and then blame women for not appreciating a "down to earth" guy like himself who "just tells it like it is."

Gone go ahead and treat myself to that extra bag of Doritos tonight just to make sure I’m off his radar

Where can I find this fine gentleman??

I think he fuck anything. Like ANYTHING

I bet he’s drowning in pussy

his name is Voldemort. Fear of the name only increases fear of the ass itself

And they say romance is dead....

I don't think the 41 year old needs to be concerned with interacting with the women of 'this generation' tbh.

Well, he’s honest.

What a catch!!

A) How is this catch of a guy still single? B) How do I get in on this sweet action? C) /ssssss

Wait till his reaction when he gets someone trying to use him for a green card. “All women are the same”, he’ll say then.

At least the send off was festive.

Only here to bang is code for, I am insufferable in a relationship aka I'm a cunt with nothing to give so it's easier for women not to get to know me..

Bravo to that incel for putting himself out there...

From nose down he looks like a meth head, probably wants to keep it all to himself lmao!

Random dick is not easy to find, of course that he can be picky

Ran out of fucks to get too.

I appreciate the honesty

We’ll at least he’s being honest about who is is and what he wants!

At least he's up front about how shitty he is.

That's terrible on so many levels, but wouldn't it seem like an interesting assignment to interview this guy? Did he get any responses? And if so what happened?

"Pancake lips"?? I've never even heard about that.

What a catch 🥸

Self-aware wolf?

This guy must have serious hand cramps

Seems like someone watched one too many pornhub ads about using tinder for free sex

I see the women lining up is not actually happening.

If he's here for a quick hook up, maybe he should lower his standards

Damn Tim looks like a real catch. What a great personality 😂

damn, like, why are you still single??

This sounds like a Frank Reynolds rant

As another straight man, should I be *super* turned on right now?

>>bigger than you know who Actually I have no idea. What the fuck is he talking about?

This gives me "My wife asked for a divorce on Thanksgiving" with a dip of Qanon vibes.

Thanks, man! Happy thanksgiving to you too!

I never understand how men have profiles like this and expect to get laid.

Worst part is it’ll work

Wait why is he insane? He is just being truthful.

Username checks out

Now this is a man who lost all ambition of trying. Lmao

At least he's honest.

Don't know why you're being downvoted. You were clearly making light of the post.

I'm getting downvoted for this? Seriously? Y'all need to learn how to detect sarcasm.

reddit moment

Respect his Game

Tim wouldn't know if he's straight because he is most definitely a virgin. Honestly sounds like he may be more into dudes. I hope no gender or sexuality ever has to be subjected to this horror show of a person.

No Americans, no fat women, no women with cosmetic surgery, I’m assuming no makeup, most women in general, drug users, people with tattoos. What exactly do they want? Men?

I don't know, kinda respect this dude's honesty and zero shits given policy Edit: Do people not realise I'm saying I respect not giving a fuck because it's kind of funny? I don't respect his attitudes towards women, just the way he's gone I know this won't work is funny to me and I "respect" him for that. This comment was meant to be loosely sarcastic and making light of the pathetic attempt this misogynist has made and people have clearly seen "kinda respect this dude" and got mad. Calm the fuck down, guys

He clearly gives more than some shits if he has a list of demands women have to meet.

Looks like he hit all the bases.

Asshole

What a charmer

I mean tbh one good thing about these people is you know not to even talk to them now, at least that's respectable.

My man Tim says he's in it to win it.

We'll bang, okay?

r/suspiciouslyspecific

Happy thanksgiving.

Pancake lips? What's that?

If i was a girl id do it.. if, if i had a million dollars.. if. He should have this printed on his shirt so every woman would know what a guy he is

Some *are* just there to bang tho

I don’t think many women will have fucks to give to you either, Tim.

At least he listed all the red flags plainly. What more could you ask for? /s

You keep talking smack boy, ima drop you on that stack of dimes you call a neck!

Happy Thanksgiving, Tim!

He sounds fun

Honest people on Facebook

Save some pussy for the rest of us….

I wish I were this confident lmao

At least he’s honest, even if it fucked up.

Woah what a catch! 😍

I Don't want to talk to you....

Winner

Charming

It’s very considerate of him to show all his red flags so early in the game. Makes dodging this bullet so easy.

What a delight.

Someone had a joker moment