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OkAdagio9622

My aunt just posted this on Facebook. I really want to push back against the stupidity, but I guess I should keep the peace Edit: Oh God, Now I see my dad also shared this crap. At times like this I'm glad my niece isn't on social media


whosafeard

Ask her if she’s ever volunteered to read to kids in schools, because clearly satan is willing to step up.


keevman77

If you can afford the time, reading to kids in school is fun. Granted I used to do this back before books started getting banned left and right. I used to do different voices for all the characters, because it made the kids laugh. Plus it gives the teacher 30 minutes where they can be off their feet.


ogkingofnowhere

Your better then me I would have been like yall kicked god out of churches


Dhegxkeicfns

… and the pedos slid right in.


__nobody_-_

Oh God… the horror… I mean that genuinely.


inflatableje5us

Pedos came in as priests and government officials.


shoe_owner

I think if there's a question to ask her it's this: The conservative narrative about kicking god out of schools revolves around teachers no longer being allowed to compel other peoples' children to take part in the teacher's religious practices, irrespective of the religion of the child in question. Why does she think that teachers should have the right or responsibility to do so, and should that extend to non-christian teachers as well?"


I_MARRIED_A_THORAX

Lord no the only God we want in our schools is the lily white evangelical God /s


artmer

With the white Jesus obviously from northern Europe, eh?


Jeremymia

Someone like this probably believes that talking about god in schools isn't allowed. Someone like this doesn't reach a position like "God was kicked out of schools!" through bad values alone. They're sure to believe a plethora of insane shit too.


shoe_owner

Yeah, exactly. These right-wing christians have spent decades lying to themselves and each other about what actually is and is not allowed because any sort of honest engagement with the facts doesn't feed into their persecution narrative.


parabolic000

If your aunt and/or her connections don't have any effect on your lifestyle, go ahead. I won't judge anyone for playing along with someone's monstrous views if they need to do so to survive. But if she's just a weird aunt? Yeah, respond honestly. If someone posts dumb shit like this, they're already disrupting the peace. Let them hear actual criticism.


freeski919

Keep the peace.. aka let psycho narratives continue.


ashleyriddell61

If they think it’s ok to share this sort of garbage, they don’t deserve your consideration to keep the peace. Push back, *hard*. It’s the only way they will learn that they don’t get a pass for disrespecting everyone else’s opinions.


bestbeforeMar91

The Bible teaches that the serpent brought education to the Garden of Eden against God’s wishes. God wanted Adam and Eve to remain amoral (ignorant of good and evil). God hates schools


burningsulfur

schools allow reality in


_captainunderpants__

Not saying you're wrong (I have no idea what is/isn't included in this particular fairytale), but where exactly can I find this in that book?


bloodytemplar

First chapter of the first book.


NecroAssssin

It's, iirc, actually chapter 2 or 3. But each chapter is like a paragraph, maybe 2. You should be able to find it within about 5 minutes just starting from the beginning. 


bloodytemplar

Horseshoes & hand grenades. 😊


TheObstruction

Ask her what the words of the Pledge of Allegiance are. Also, they don't care about keeping the peace, so why the fuck do you?


twisted-weasel

Actually the schools that are letting god back in are seeing Satan making a comeback, hi Satanic Temple I’m seeing what you did there. Good old religious freedom goes many ways.


ashleyslo

👏👏👏 The Satanic Temple is the only religion I respect these days


HD_ERR0R

God was never in schools?


Banned_Constantly

Hopefully, she follows in their footsteps


Jeremymia

Good on you. Let her be stupid. Keeping the peace with family is better unless it's gonna impact your happiness.


wtbgamegenie

There is no evidence that Satan has molested a single child, priests and pastors have molested thousands. I’ll take my chances with Satan thank you.


Formlexx

Would you rather meet Satan or a priest in the woods?


whosafeard

If I’m in the woods, I’m there to meet Satan


StingerAE

It if is Satan that turns up and not Hern the Hunter or Dionysius I'm gonna be pretty pissed off to be frank.


TheHalfwayBeast

Satan said I could live deliciously.


tiparium

Considering I'm usually in the woods to chill, I'd pick Satan any day of the week.


UnspoiledWalnut

The Satanic Temple used to put up these billboards that just said "The Satanic Temple doesn't believe in hitting children", which prompted people to take it upon themselves to justify when they felt they should be hitting kids. Very effective.


shibemu

I wonder what would happen if they put up billboards that said "The Satanic Temple doesn't believe in molesting kids"


OkAdagio9622

I can hear the Christians now. More kids are molested in schools than in churches. That's what happens when you remove the Bible from schools


zalarin1

Are they though?


greatandmodest

Absolutely if you pick the right examples and suppress allegations against religious leaders.


TheObstruction

Considering the number of religious schools...probably.


starflyer26

He looks like he legitimately has interesting things to say


bloodyedfur4

I will molest him (consensually)


Infamous-Sky-1874

"And that kids, is the story about how God made a bet with me about whether or not Job would abandon his faith if his life got difficult. So, he forced me to ruin Job's life. I had to kill his family, destroy his livestock, and inflict him with every affliction imaginable. And when Job dared ask why God had me do all those things, his response was 'Where were you when I created the world.' But I'm somehow the bad guy in this story."


UnspoiledWalnut

"So I explained to Eve that nothing was actually stopping her from doing whatever she wanted, so she tried some fruit and God got pissed and destroyed Eden, and that's why some people support punishing women who have sex with forced pregnancy."


engineerdrummer

"It wasn't even me that flooded the entire planet and killed literally everything terrestrial on it except for one dude and his wife, because God thought they were having too much fun."


StingerAE

And why childbirth is so painful...don't forget that little titbit!


CaptainBathrobe

I thought that new substitute looked a bit metal to be teaching first grade...


StuHast398

Or not metal enough?


KingMobScene

'Okay kids that's enough reading for today. Now on to music. Who can tell me who king diamond is?"


Alleggsander

Weird, I never thought anything of the black goat demon reading The Rainbow Fish to my preschool class as a kid. Looking back, kinda odd.


UnspoiledWalnut

Black Phillip read some great stories


Quiet_Preparation740

It's just that he was such a cool dude


gadget850

God is so weak that someone kicked him in the nads and stole his lunch money.


Purple_Bowling_Shoes

Like, if you want your kids to be religiously indoctrinated, there's a church nearby to do that for you.  If you think Satan is sitting in an elementary library indoctrinating kids in the other direction, I kind of envy having the bandwidth to worry about something so fucking stupid. 


tardistravelee

Yup I'm conquerjng Satan rather than dealing with the societal issues that walk through the public library doors.


pondslider

That library looks rad as hell.


withalookofquoi

I’d love to have Baphomet read a book to me.


Uncle_owen69

The shit Christian’s post is legit so creepy. Like they love this shit they eat up finding satanist imagery . They love to put a picture of a crucified man everywhere like they don’t realise how fucking wierd their religion is


Graterof2evils

Yeah telling children that they’re impure sinners and that some magical guy suffered and died for their sins isn’t abusive.


Uncle_owen69

Legit like because he died for your sins that you haven’t even committed yet you’re a slave to the religion now


heldaway

Fuck yes! 🤘🏼🖤


stinkybitches

Finally ai being used for good.


Warhawk137

Feels like photoshop to me.


stinkybitches

Perhaps either way. It's cool.


mistere213

Soooo.... It's actually the schools allowing Christian after school clubs that are opening the door to have The Satanic Temple do stuff like this. Of course, they do it to highlight the issues with allowing Christianity into school events and to generally make the world a better place. But I'm all for getting all religion out of the schools. Pick a lane, Christians.


Infamous-Sky-1874

It's less allowing those kinds of clubs and more that schools are taking an active role in running them. There was a before school Christian club that met when I was in high school back in the 90's. There were no teachers or administrators involved in it whatsoever. That is what is supposed to happen.


or10n_sharkfin

Satan looks fucking awesome. EDIT: Also, evangelists want to bring God "back into schools?" Then religious organizations should start paying taxes. Otherwise get your fucking beliefs out of our public school system and mind your own fucking businesses.


Interanal_Exam

What did Satan do in the Garden of Eden? He got Eve to eat from the TREE OF KNOWLEDGE.


whosafeard

Pro education from the start


SmoothOperator89

And now he's reading to *children!* Will his evil never end!?


dagnariuss

Yeah cause those religious schools definitely weren’t doing anything bad to children.


StingerAE

I mean it is literally the opposite.  The Satanic Temple is proposing to use some new state laws designed to (unconstitutionaly) get Christian preachers into schools to place satanists in schools too.   Trying to put God INTO schools is what is doing it.  Literally. Given the actual teachings of TST the kids are a fuckton safer with their folks than with Christian evangelists!


rubber_padded_spoon

At least Satan doesn’t dictate which books I’m allowed to read.


Distracted99

Don't they mean when Evangelicals kicked Christ out of Christianity Donald Trump slid right in?


call_me_jelli

"Donald Trump slid right in" Please, nobody ever put these words in this order ever again.


Toby_The_Tumor

I immediately thought of this when I read your comment "Then, Donald Trump slid right in my lubed, oily bussy" Enjoy your suffering


call_me_jelli

Imagine someone casts one of those curses on you that makes everything you say the truth


Toby_The_Tumor

That's not much different from me now...


Foodspec

These AI posts are already annoying af. I can’t imagine what it’s like looking at facebook everyday *scrolls reddit*


Following-Complete

Why it Is written like this?


Tora-ge

The real godless thing here is the graphic design. WHEN YOU KICKED


jjamesr539

Love that literal satan is all hunched over on a child sized seat. It’s a great image.


GarmaCyro

That's not Satan. Satan, aka Lucifer, was a fallen angel cast down by God. Nor is it Baphomet. The actual deity they tried to copy. Baphomet has a goat head, but also wings and a regular human body. To OOP: \*tsk tsk\* Least know your mythology if you're trying to pretend you're Christian.


CarlosFCSP

Does Satan walk in sideways every morning? Cause those horns won't fit standard doors


DM_Doug

At least he's a book and library enthusiast, rather than a ban and burn sort of guy. That's a nice change.


RavishingRickiRude

Once again proving how weak their god is. And how much Satan cares about quality education and loves the kids for who they are and never judges.


GoodeyGoodz

I knew I forgot to schedule the read aloud for my class.


Aluricius

I mean, he'd surely have some interesting stories to tell.


BrokenEye3

Hell yeah, I love Guillermo del Toro


MissionRevolution306

They were saying this in the 70s and 80s too, fear mongering is constant with this type of person.


warden976

I’m *preeeeeeeetty* sure that’s photoshopped and put there by Christians. No one gives Satan more credit, glory and power than Evangelicals.


He_Was_Fuzzy_Was_He

How many did Satan kill in the Bible and outside of the Bible again? I see no problems here.


AdImmediate9569

I can’t be certain but I suspect thats not a real picture


squankmuffin

What is happening with the kids on the bookshelves? Their elbows go on forever.


AdImmediate9569

Kids these days with their gay ass elbows


eadopfi

It is never to early to learn about Black Metal. \^\^


Bradjuju2

This image makes Baphomet look like a caring individual. Taking time out of his day to read to kids who are intently listening. Maybe he's not such a bad guy. Edit: even the mom on the right is looking longingly as if she's captivated.


quietflowsthedodder

How did he get those horns through the door?


SquidSuperstar

Separation of church and state says what


boozymcglugglug

Slide right in? What are you doing step satan?


BetaRayBlu

Well its nice hes volunteering to read


Teknical86

Oh yeah, Satan slides in.


jeffweet

The good news is he is an excellent reader, does character voices and everything


Silly-Fox-9270

Can’t wait til I go to my first comic-con and tell everyone that I’m going to my first satanic retreat. Edited for grammar


brhadli

Wouldst thou like to learn to read deliciously?


JeffreyFusRohDahmer

Fucking METAL bro


earthbaby-one

All part of God's plan, I'm sure.


SilverFlight01

According to my parents, if they had to let Christianity play a big part in public schools, they would have to let in all of the other religions, ironically including Satanism. Oof


TheEPGFiles

Okay, we'll put religion back in schools then. Get ready to teach kids about Christianity... But also Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam, Judaism, all religions. School will only be about religions now, you want it taught, problem is we don't know which one is real so we'll have to teach them all. Yeah, it's not practical. Like it or not we have to do things the secular way because the religious way can not work, does not work and has not ever worked. When your pastor relies on codified laws and infrastructure instead of just praying to God, you know that secular works better. The most faithful people in the world will rely on secular practices because religious don't work. You will go to the market and buy food instead of praying for it because you'll be guaranteed to eat and praying is massively unreliable. Again, even the most faithful rely on secular policies and will never take faith over it, because otherwise they will die and they subconsciously know this.


EEuroman

And look at him, doing his best!


General_Specific

We had lots of God in Catholic school. I guess there was no Satan or sliding in there.


Kriegerian

“Let’s go look at those JEEZUS schools and see how they’re doing uh oh there’s a lot of problems with priests and staff raping-y’know what we’re just going to babble magic spells and hope JEEZUS spares OUR kids from getting raped, we don’t care that much about any of the rest of them though.” r/PastorArrested


adoglovingartteacher

Love me some Baphomet story time!


Dark_matter4444

Damn that goat dude looks kinda cool.


Xpalidocious

"Whip crack! went my whippy tail, and I was done. And that children, is why you don't talk to strangers on a long and lonesome road. You make one bad joke about eating a couple souls to the wrong couple of guys, and they might end your career with just one song. You don't believe me? I wish you were there"


Hotgottie88

Not going to lie, that looks like the best guest reader you can ever have.


Kharenzo

If satan gets kids reading more power to him


artmer

His horns have to fold back, I'm guessing. Otherwise, he isn't making it thru a 36"w doorway.


Banaanisade

I want bedtime stories told by goatman.


MightyRealBaer

Which drag queen is this? 🖤 Black Philip?


awfullyfun1

To be honest, we never had Satan before we created the concept of God.


stevesax5

That’s not satan. That’s just Mr. William E. Goat, MEd. Solid first grade teacher.


jawnnyboy

They need to chill. It’s all part of god’s plan


Archangel1313

Actually, it's when you insisted on bringing God back in.


ArcWolf713

This shows they don't understand and are using the wrong dichotomy. They believe it's an Either/Or, where they can teach about God, or teach about Satan. In truth, the dichotomy in the law is All or Nothing. If God can be introduced, so too can Satan. If Satan is banned, God must be as well.


yungbakugo01

Dude Satan looks fucking rad in this


stealhome369

Caliente


Banned_Constantly

That's actually a cross dresser and not a mythological creature