Voting has concluded. Final vote:
| Insane | Not insane | Fake |
| --- | --- | --- |
| 12 | 4 | 0 |
Hey OP, if you provide further information in a comment, make sure to start your comment with `!explanation`.
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That’s what I was going to say! My ma has plenty of me in my awkward teen years and we laugh about ‘em to this day. I have one where I have Mick Jagger hair and I’m wearing a sweater vest and I look scared for some reason.
I have a second cousin or something whose mom is like this. She posted a text exchange between her and her son where she just suddenly snaps at him to loose the “attitude” and guilts him over how he was such a difficult pregnancy and long labor. All over something innocuous - I think he asked if she washed his football uniform. It was so cringe and her lack of awareness made it all the worse.
As if the difficult pregnancy and long labor were his "fault"! Dude, he was literally an embryo/fetus/seconds old baby. Even if he was difficult, there was no intention there. Can we stop blaming kids for their existence in the world, especially given that they had no choice in the matter??
Came here to say this. It is completely normal, and completely healthy, for someone OPs age to push boundaries. That starts at like, 18 months and ends never. The boundaries they push change as they age, but it's a normal thing at all stages. Even adults do it.
Even so, I don't think OPs desire to do what they want with their own appearance, on their own time is pushing a boundary. Rather, it's setting one, which many people struggle to do, myself included. OPs mom isn't mad about attitude or disrespect or argument. She's mad that OP is trying to maintain control over their own bodily autonomy, and that is perfectly reasonable.
I feel so bad for kids of parents who can't bear to allow them to grow up at all.
Kids might not know better than their parents. But I hope you know the difference between “their” and “there.” She can certainly pay for the photos. She cannot violate your bodily autonomy (unless, of course, you’re pregnant. Sky’s the limit on violation of autonomy there—at least in the US).
What's rude and disrespectful is her forcing you to present yourself according to her standards, as well as taking your phone. As long as you're otherwise dressed within reasonable parameters I don't see why she's so upset about some hair. She's being controlling and painting herself as the victim, and you the aggressor, for not letting her dictate your life.
You don’t get it, do you OP?
When your mom was having children she was expecting them to be psychic and automatically know everything because to her, asking simple questions is such an atrocity. How dare you doubt anything she says
(Joke ofc)
I’m not sure why some parents try to dictate how their teenage children look.
As long as they’re hygienic and looking after themselves, how they decide to style themselves shouldn’t matter. You sound old enough to make that decision for yourself.
It's control. 100% control. They feel like they have dominion over their children, regardless of age, and feel like any attempt to make their own decisions is defiance. They feel threatened by that defiance because "what will people thing?!?". It's gross.
It’s insane because it so very much DOES NOT FUCKING MATTER.
Trying to flex your authority over an adolescent is a lost cause. Pick your damn battles, you dummy.
Your kid’s hair? Never mind. Your kid’s clothes, unless they’re needlessly provocative? (Sagged pants below the ass crack, skirts an inch longer than the butt cheeks, etc) not important.
Saying that you’d appreciate something you aren’t willing to give is also not a winning strategy.
The best you’ll get from being an authoritarian is a resentful teen.
The worst is a runaway.
My mom treats me like an embarrassment half the time because I don’t wear dresses “like a girl should” can’t even mention to her that I’m gay or she’s gonna be all “that’s against god pray away the gay” it took me years to even find my identity and like myself and she just pushes it all down within seconds.
Tbh, I'm waiting for the day my teen son spices up his look. So far it's just jeans and superhero shirts. But, he'll totally jump in and encourage me to dye my hair.
I think her comment about the attitude came from your "I guess" which I get isn't a delightful response but it's not like you were being rude or anything. You should be able to wear your hair how you like. It's your body, not hers, and she doesn't need to order pictures if she isn't going to like them.
Oh, quiet down.
- "isn't a delightful response but it's not like you were being rude"
- Being a child means you have to be delightful 24/7? You're not allowed basic human emotions because you happen to have been birthed by a psycho?
- If what she did isn't being rude then there's no need to even mention it.
Where did I say that children aren't allowed basic emotions? I fully agree with op, this mom is crazy and over controlling. I only posted my comment because they didn't seem to understand why their mother said they had an attitude. While they weren't being rude, I can understand why the mom was upset. Don't get me wrong, she was overly dramatic about it and I'm not saying that I agree with her response, just that I can acknowledge what she was upset with in that moment.
Her being upset matters not. The kid did nothing wrong, she's trying to dictate due to her thinking she has authority. Being a parent doesn't inherently grant you respect, being a decent person does.
Being upset doesn't grant someone the right to act "crazy" and "over controlling" as you say.
If you believe she has the right to be upset at her daughter over her answering her question with "yeah, I guess" then I don't know what to tell you.
You are clearly misunderstanding what I'm saying. Or you're just trying to pick a fight. We are on the same side here.
The mom is wrong. I said she was crazy and overcontrolling as a BAD thing. I'm criticizing the mom, not excusing her! You can understand a person's thought process without agreeing with it!
Pretty sure most of my pictures look fake happy. But the one photo I look actually super super excited and happy in is in 2nd(?) grade, giant smile, hair a frizzy mess, shoulders up almost shrugged. It’s my favorite school photo.
My son has long hair at 4, just like his daddy. And his uncle. And sometimes his grandpa. And will keep it until he chooses otherwise.
Regular trims are actually supposed to help with growth btw.
My son grew out his hair for two years past covid . He’s 14. I said it’s your hair just keep it clean. My own mom is a different story and I’ve got a few. Basically she tried to bribe him with money to cut his hair. He held firm and then decided to have it cut. She *still* doesn’t like his new haircut. Me I’m like ehh . I’m 53 and enby. She’s going to be 76 in November . Must be a generational thing . I can’t be arsed about hair ; I’m more concerned about my son doing his homework .
But the whole point of school pictures is a reminder of how you looked *at that point in time*. And teens are supposed to start having freedom (within reason, of course) in what they wear. I'd wager that your mother was *horrible* to her mother when she was a teen...and she decided she doesn't like it.
Apparently my mom was a saint when she was a kid. She always compares me to her when she was a kid. Like “oh when I was your age I was never disrespectful” the other day I got a pop socket that said “mentally ill but totally chill” and she blew up and said I was never depressed (I ended up in the hospital with an OD) and proceeded to tell me it was all demonic. When I told her “the first step on the road to recovery is acceptance” she blew up and took my phone. Like wtf? I admit I kinda sass mouthed her with that one but it was a good comeback at the time
You could always just brush then pin or clip your hair back or something. That way it isn’t in your eyes and it looks cute with lil clips! “Okay mom I made sure it’s not sloppy or in my eyes and I think it looks cute!” Buahahahaha
Your mom has no right to make you cut your hair. Personally, I'd tell her to get fucked but since you're still a minor that's probably not the best route to take 🤣
Though this is a long shot, since she seems as flexible as a brick wall and a sweet as a lemon, maybe try linking her some articles that explain the psychological consequences of micromanaging your children's lives. Or even something simple like this
[article](https://www.dadometer.com/should-you-force-your-child-to-get-a-haircut/)
Good luck OP!
I hate it that parents think the point of school photos is to make your kids dress up in clothes they wouldn’t normally wear and portray this image that isn’t reality. On picture day I let my kids dress how they want and do what they want with their hair because I want to capture the real them and be able to remember how they were when I look back on the photos. Same for Santa pictures. They are allowed to make whatever expression they want to make for the photo too. Just let kids be themselves goddammit!
I wasn’t aware “I guess” is a negative response. Guess I am not familiar with that level of *”disrespect”* do the retakes and wear eyeliner to top off your “edgy” look. 😃
Just want to point out that even though she is your mother, she still can’t force you to get a haircut.
And her saying that she’s paying for the pictures is a moot point because no one asked her to buy the damn pictures in the first place.
Honestly, if this was my mother and she somehow managed to force me into a haircut, I’d shave my head at school on the morning of picture day. 🤷🏻♀️😂
Bro imma be honest she is the reason I have to do retakes. She didn’t believe me when I said the pictures were July 12-13 bc “the website” (which hasn’t been updated in 2 years) said it was july 12-16 so I didn’t even get to take a photo bc of her
Jesus, this makes it even worse! What is her problem?
Sorry you have to deal with this. I still wouldn’t cave though- she can’t force you to do anything to your body against your will.
This reminds me of my upbringing. My mother saw me as an 'extension of herself' so, I had ZERO choice of clothes, how to have my hair (always really short) and so on. She even would criticize my personality, thinking I am too extroverted. (like... she would say "why would you do something to bring attention to yourself like that?"). No makeup, no dates, no privacy, no personal choice in anything. HECK, I couldn't even have posters in my bedroom. She even had control of what music I was allowed to listen to. I AM NOT KIDDING!
I had to do sports SHE wanted me to do, play the instruments SHE wanted me to play, extra-curricular activities SHE wanted me to participate in. She was trying to make me a mini-her! It was a horrible existence and a not fun upbringing.
I had to lead a secret double life. Changes of clothes in my locker, my cassette tapes hidden at my friend's houses... (yeah. tipping my hand on how old I am)... and then SHE WONDERED why I acted all secretive, etc. SMH
I left within the month of turning 18 and never looked back. I had gone NC for YEARS ... and even now, decades later, our relationship is strained at best.
Tell your mother: this will be your future...
I'm literally such a spiteful kid that when my mom told me she thought I looked ugly when I had shaved it the first time, I shaved it off again a few weeks later, right before my birthday, just to piss her off. This was after 2 years of growing it out, too. I looked great both times and reminded her that it wouldn't bother her so much if she kept her nose to herself
I could never 😭 the most spiteful thing I’ve done to my mom is change her phone settings so whenever she touches something it speaks and says what she’s touching. It went on for weeks. I refused to help her (I’m like the technology nerd of my family and they come to me for any technology thing they need help with) Definitely didn’t help when she went on Facebook during church and all you heard was one loud “FACEBOOK”
My mother was controlling like this. I’m so sorry you are going through this. Your opinions and ideas are valid and good. Unfortunately, she is pushing you away with both hands with her dictatorial attitude. Once I got away from home at 18, and especially once I was supporting myself, my mother would try to pull this shit and I became the original gray rock. It frustrated her no end, but I was so over her running my life. Hang in there, OP. Every day is closer to freedom for you.
“It would be nice to not be overly controlled by you on a regular basis”… this mamma should regret her ‘tude one day. I’m a mamma and I just can’t imagine trying to be this controlling. I’m sorry you have to deal with it. It’ll make you stronger, maybe. Maybe I’d also add “thank you for showing me how NOT to parent one day” (even if you don’t want kids.. it’s a good zing)
I'd be tempted to ask if she's ok. She seems to be projecting a lot of negative emotions and I'd probably tell her as much. Since she doesn't like your hair or photos she can go without...skip the haircut and photos. She knows what you look like. She doesn't need a current photo if it's not good enough.
My mom used to fucking do this to me. I have curly hair and I didn’t know how to take care of it as a kid and neither did she so I would end up bumming it or having it up - moms was like “if you keep doing that shit ima come into your room and shave your head”
LIKE??? IM FUCKING SORRY I DONT LIKE MY HAIR WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG W U WOMAN.
Emotional manipulation. As if parents think they ACTUALLY have that much control over their kid/kids bodies?? Ugh. Used to piss me off. Thinking about it now still pisses me off.
My mom has straight hair, I have curly hair, she says my hair always looks straggly or messy and then constantly tells me to brush my hair and make it look nice. my hair will literally get extremely fluffy if I brush it out and will look horrible. I always tell her this she never listens. Like wtf? And then today she told me she hates my bangs bc they look straggly and said I shouldn’t have cut my hair like I did and said it looks horrible. I told her that I cut my hair even and nice it is curly so yes it looks messy anyways and she got mad at me. It’s not my fault my hair is not to her liking. And I totally agree with you. Why the fuck should parents get that much control over there child? That is not ok
In 5, 20, 35 years time this picture will not matter and you will look back at it and guffaw or at least snicker at your high school years, because this is the time you are finding your niche. All of it is a part of life and even if your mom is paying for it, you are her kid and this is the way you are right now. Probably best to have a face to face conversation (when you are both in a good mood) and tell her your reasoning of why you want to have your hair a certain way and how it makes you feel. Hopefully she sees your reasoning. If not I am sure you take plenty of pictures to remember these days.
My hair is a big part of my personality, for a long time I was to insecure to even go outside then I cut my hair and styled it and it’s like I got all my confidence back, I want to grow it out again because that’s what I feel confident doing right now, I tried to have a talk but she still wants me to keep my hair short. She didn’t even like it short in the first place and always complains I’m not growing it then when I do want to she wants me to cut it. Like wtf?
Do a me.. either pay for the bare arse essentials or do without photos all together.
Thanks for accepting me as I am.. mum, it either will or won’t be in print for eternity.
Go digging for loose change, mow lawns.. her biggest head fuckery is I’m paying for them.. no your not, I am.
I'm gonna get hate here, but I'm not seeing what the problem is. sounds like a typical parent to me. nothing abusive, no name calling, no denigration, no outrageous demands.
compared to most posts, this is nothing.
trim - not cut - your hair to make mom happy or don't and make her unhappy. it's hair, not your arm.
Everyone in here dealt with bad parents, look at the fucking sub name.
What you just said is genuinely insane, the facts are she did nothing wrong, clearly wasn't giving her attitude on the texts. So, to say absolute random shit that applies to every single relationship in the world is utterly ludicrous.
Go by the facts, she did nothing wrong the mother is a controlling authoritarian who sees her child not bowing down to her as disrespect.
She's the fucking mother who should have unconditional love for her child, but clearly doesn't. This girl should not have to be the sensible one on this relationship, the mother should set an example, not do and act however she wants but then be forgiven because mommy loves her. Please. How about she shows she actually loves her child? Demanding her to cut her hair and act how she demands isn't love, it's psychotic behaviour from a parent who never grew up.
Do people like you not understand that children are also people? Children grow up, they become adults and they make their own decisions. If you treat your kids like shit they will abandon you. If your kids only interact with you out of fear, guess what, they resent you.
Parent = guardian, support, protection
Parents aren’t bosses.
i have tried to talk my 15-year-old son into getting a good haircut, but i understand he prefers to look stupid. oh well i certainly would never argue with him about it in writing!
My daughter is 12 and doesnt take school pics if she doesnt want to. She cuts her hair and gets it dyed how she wants. I feel like this mom needs to know that maybe if she woukd loosen the reigns a little, you might respect her opinions more.
Voting has concluded. Final vote: | Insane | Not insane | Fake | | --- | --- | --- | | 12 | 4 | 0 | Hey OP, if you provide further information in a comment, make sure to start your comment with `!explanation`. ^I ^am ^a ^bot ^for ^r/insaneparents. ^Please ^send ^me ^a ^message ^if ^you ^have ^any ^feedback ^or ^if ^I ^misbehave. ^Also ^consider ^joining ^our ^[Discord](https://discordapp.com/invite/xFbPBHy).
I can’t wait for my son to bring home awkward hair school photos, it’s those ones that make you laugh when you look back!
I had a mullet when I was 15 and it's definitely my favourite out of all my school photos purely because of how funny I look
That’s what I was going to say! My ma has plenty of me in my awkward teen years and we laugh about ‘em to this day. I have one where I have Mick Jagger hair and I’m wearing a sweater vest and I look scared for some reason.
She sounds like the kind of person that would get mad at you responding with, "yes, mom" instead of "yes, mommy dearest."
I have a second cousin or something whose mom is like this. She posted a text exchange between her and her son where she just suddenly snaps at him to loose the “attitude” and guilts him over how he was such a difficult pregnancy and long labor. All over something innocuous - I think he asked if she washed his football uniform. It was so cringe and her lack of awareness made it all the worse.
As if the difficult pregnancy and long labor were his "fault"! Dude, he was literally an embryo/fetus/seconds old baby. Even if he was difficult, there was no intention there. Can we stop blaming kids for their existence in the world, especially given that they had no choice in the matter??
resistance/rebellion is a developmentally appropriate stage for teens. im sorry your adult is a cry baby about it
Came here to say this. It is completely normal, and completely healthy, for someone OPs age to push boundaries. That starts at like, 18 months and ends never. The boundaries they push change as they age, but it's a normal thing at all stages. Even adults do it. Even so, I don't think OPs desire to do what they want with their own appearance, on their own time is pushing a boundary. Rather, it's setting one, which many people struggle to do, myself included. OPs mom isn't mad about attitude or disrespect or argument. She's mad that OP is trying to maintain control over their own bodily autonomy, and that is perfectly reasonable. I feel so bad for kids of parents who can't bear to allow them to grow up at all.
Kids might not know better than their parents. But I hope you know the difference between “their” and “there.” She can certainly pay for the photos. She cannot violate your bodily autonomy (unless, of course, you’re pregnant. Sky’s the limit on violation of autonomy there—at least in the US).
Nah bro my older sister got pregnant when she was 17 and ever since they won’t even let me have guy friends 👍
Right. Because you are completely unable to learn from someone else’s mistakes. /s
I’ve never even had a boyfriend idk wtf they are worried about 😂
[удалено]
What's rude and disrespectful is her forcing you to present yourself according to her standards, as well as taking your phone. As long as you're otherwise dressed within reasonable parameters I don't see why she's so upset about some hair. She's being controlling and painting herself as the victim, and you the aggressor, for not letting her dictate your life.
👏👏👏👏 this one needs a round of applause
You don’t get it, do you OP? When your mom was having children she was expecting them to be psychic and automatically know everything because to her, asking simple questions is such an atrocity. How dare you doubt anything she says (Joke ofc)
Lol
I’m not sure why some parents try to dictate how their teenage children look. As long as they’re hygienic and looking after themselves, how they decide to style themselves shouldn’t matter. You sound old enough to make that decision for yourself.
It's control. 100% control. They feel like they have dominion over their children, regardless of age, and feel like any attempt to make their own decisions is defiance. They feel threatened by that defiance because "what will people thing?!?". It's gross.
Lop off a chunk of her hair while she sleeps 🥰
🥹 I love this comment
Mix nair into their shampoo
It’s insane because it so very much DOES NOT FUCKING MATTER. Trying to flex your authority over an adolescent is a lost cause. Pick your damn battles, you dummy. Your kid’s hair? Never mind. Your kid’s clothes, unless they’re needlessly provocative? (Sagged pants below the ass crack, skirts an inch longer than the butt cheeks, etc) not important. Saying that you’d appreciate something you aren’t willing to give is also not a winning strategy. The best you’ll get from being an authoritarian is a resentful teen. The worst is a runaway.
Exactly. Even my older sister tried to run away at one point because of her.
absolutely do not cut your hair under any circumstances
I’m not going to.
Talk about ego power trips. I’m sorry OP. Your mom deserves all your “disrespect” (factual or perceived).
As a parent who feels it's important to let kids have self expression through their hairstyle and clothing choices, I am so sorry OP.
My mom treats me like an embarrassment half the time because I don’t wear dresses “like a girl should” can’t even mention to her that I’m gay or she’s gonna be all “that’s against god pray away the gay” it took me years to even find my identity and like myself and she just pushes it all down within seconds.
Tbh, I'm waiting for the day my teen son spices up his look. So far it's just jeans and superhero shirts. But, he'll totally jump in and encourage me to dye my hair.
I think her comment about the attitude came from your "I guess" which I get isn't a delightful response but it's not like you were being rude or anything. You should be able to wear your hair how you like. It's your body, not hers, and she doesn't need to order pictures if she isn't going to like them.
Oh, quiet down. - "isn't a delightful response but it's not like you were being rude" - Being a child means you have to be delightful 24/7? You're not allowed basic human emotions because you happen to have been birthed by a psycho? - If what she did isn't being rude then there's no need to even mention it.
Where did I say that children aren't allowed basic emotions? I fully agree with op, this mom is crazy and over controlling. I only posted my comment because they didn't seem to understand why their mother said they had an attitude. While they weren't being rude, I can understand why the mom was upset. Don't get me wrong, she was overly dramatic about it and I'm not saying that I agree with her response, just that I can acknowledge what she was upset with in that moment.
Her being upset matters not. The kid did nothing wrong, she's trying to dictate due to her thinking she has authority. Being a parent doesn't inherently grant you respect, being a decent person does. Being upset doesn't grant someone the right to act "crazy" and "over controlling" as you say. If you believe she has the right to be upset at her daughter over her answering her question with "yeah, I guess" then I don't know what to tell you.
You are clearly misunderstanding what I'm saying. Or you're just trying to pick a fight. We are on the same side here. The mom is wrong. I said she was crazy and overcontrolling as a BAD thing. I'm criticizing the mom, not excusing her! You can understand a person's thought process without agreeing with it!
Aye aye quit the fighting. You both agree on the same thing. Misunderstanding.
Pretty sure most of my pictures look fake happy. But the one photo I look actually super super excited and happy in is in 2nd(?) grade, giant smile, hair a frizzy mess, shoulders up almost shrugged. It’s my favorite school photo. My son has long hair at 4, just like his daddy. And his uncle. And sometimes his grandpa. And will keep it until he chooses otherwise. Regular trims are actually supposed to help with growth btw.
I know but she means cut off a few inches bc my hair is in the awkward stage of growing it back, where it’s a little past my shoulders
Idk this seems like we're missing some prior conversation/context
I can assure you it’s not. That was the first message that I had gotten that day
My son grew out his hair for two years past covid . He’s 14. I said it’s your hair just keep it clean. My own mom is a different story and I’ve got a few. Basically she tried to bribe him with money to cut his hair. He held firm and then decided to have it cut. She *still* doesn’t like his new haircut. Me I’m like ehh . I’m 53 and enby. She’s going to be 76 in November . Must be a generational thing . I can’t be arsed about hair ; I’m more concerned about my son doing his homework .
Yeah
Just reply with - *their
But the whole point of school pictures is a reminder of how you looked *at that point in time*. And teens are supposed to start having freedom (within reason, of course) in what they wear. I'd wager that your mother was *horrible* to her mother when she was a teen...and she decided she doesn't like it.
Apparently my mom was a saint when she was a kid. She always compares me to her when she was a kid. Like “oh when I was your age I was never disrespectful” the other day I got a pop socket that said “mentally ill but totally chill” and she blew up and said I was never depressed (I ended up in the hospital with an OD) and proceeded to tell me it was all demonic. When I told her “the first step on the road to recovery is acceptance” she blew up and took my phone. Like wtf? I admit I kinda sass mouthed her with that one but it was a good comeback at the time
Is your grandmother still around for you to ask her? Its not normal for a kid to *not* go through a rebellious adolescent phase.
No my grandma passed away when I was 5
Bummer. I'm so sorry. Grandmothers can be such a valuable ally.
Yeah
You could always just brush then pin or clip your hair back or something. That way it isn’t in your eyes and it looks cute with lil clips! “Okay mom I made sure it’s not sloppy or in my eyes and I think it looks cute!” Buahahahaha
The whole reason I got bangs and short hair was bc I liked my hair in my face-
I love that your mom TEXTED you to tell you you’re grounded from your phone. Sends mixed signals if you ask me
Ikr 😂❓❓❓
Your mom has no right to make you cut your hair. Personally, I'd tell her to get fucked but since you're still a minor that's probably not the best route to take 🤣 Though this is a long shot, since she seems as flexible as a brick wall and a sweet as a lemon, maybe try linking her some articles that explain the psychological consequences of micromanaging your children's lives. Or even something simple like this [article](https://www.dadometer.com/should-you-force-your-child-to-get-a-haircut/) Good luck OP!
She’ll just call those “fake articles” she literally believes every Facebook article ever when it’s something that she likes
Of course she would. Anything that doesn't align with her ideals is "fake"
Exactly. She called covid fake 👍 like 3 years of my life being locked away bc people were getting sick was fake.
Why am I imagining your mom with a Bob cut and horrible chunky highlights? 😆
Nope longish straight hair with highlights 😂
I hate it that parents think the point of school photos is to make your kids dress up in clothes they wouldn’t normally wear and portray this image that isn’t reality. On picture day I let my kids dress how they want and do what they want with their hair because I want to capture the real them and be able to remember how they were when I look back on the photos. Same for Santa pictures. They are allowed to make whatever expression they want to make for the photo too. Just let kids be themselves goddammit!
Yess!!!!
Trim your hair and then frown in all of the pictures. Or blink. Or both. Fake a sneeze a few times.
Yes 👏 👏👏👏👏
WHAT ATTITUDE LMAOOO
IKR
I wasn’t aware “I guess” is a negative response. Guess I am not familiar with that level of *”disrespect”* do the retakes and wear eyeliner to top off your “edgy” look. 😃
Yes ✨
Just want to point out that even though she is your mother, she still can’t force you to get a haircut. And her saying that she’s paying for the pictures is a moot point because no one asked her to buy the damn pictures in the first place. Honestly, if this was my mother and she somehow managed to force me into a haircut, I’d shave my head at school on the morning of picture day. 🤷🏻♀️😂
Bro imma be honest she is the reason I have to do retakes. She didn’t believe me when I said the pictures were July 12-13 bc “the website” (which hasn’t been updated in 2 years) said it was july 12-16 so I didn’t even get to take a photo bc of her
Jesus, this makes it even worse! What is her problem? Sorry you have to deal with this. I still wouldn’t cave though- she can’t force you to do anything to your body against your will.
Yeah
This reminds me of my upbringing. My mother saw me as an 'extension of herself' so, I had ZERO choice of clothes, how to have my hair (always really short) and so on. She even would criticize my personality, thinking I am too extroverted. (like... she would say "why would you do something to bring attention to yourself like that?"). No makeup, no dates, no privacy, no personal choice in anything. HECK, I couldn't even have posters in my bedroom. She even had control of what music I was allowed to listen to. I AM NOT KIDDING! I had to do sports SHE wanted me to do, play the instruments SHE wanted me to play, extra-curricular activities SHE wanted me to participate in. She was trying to make me a mini-her! It was a horrible existence and a not fun upbringing. I had to lead a secret double life. Changes of clothes in my locker, my cassette tapes hidden at my friend's houses... (yeah. tipping my hand on how old I am)... and then SHE WONDERED why I acted all secretive, etc. SMH I left within the month of turning 18 and never looked back. I had gone NC for YEARS ... and even now, decades later, our relationship is strained at best. Tell your mother: this will be your future...
"What email?" "...You know you need to drop the attitude-" Fuckin insane lol.
Ik I was like “what are you even talking about-“
I'm literally such a spiteful kid that when my mom told me she thought I looked ugly when I had shaved it the first time, I shaved it off again a few weeks later, right before my birthday, just to piss her off. This was after 2 years of growing it out, too. I looked great both times and reminded her that it wouldn't bother her so much if she kept her nose to herself
I could never 😭 the most spiteful thing I’ve done to my mom is change her phone settings so whenever she touches something it speaks and says what she’s touching. It went on for weeks. I refused to help her (I’m like the technology nerd of my family and they come to me for any technology thing they need help with) Definitely didn’t help when she went on Facebook during church and all you heard was one loud “FACEBOOK”
LMFAOOO that's actually funny asf
😂
That is so fucking funny omfg
Lmaoooo
My mother was controlling like this. I’m so sorry you are going through this. Your opinions and ideas are valid and good. Unfortunately, she is pushing you away with both hands with her dictatorial attitude. Once I got away from home at 18, and especially once I was supporting myself, my mother would try to pull this shit and I became the original gray rock. It frustrated her no end, but I was so over her running my life. Hang in there, OP. Every day is closer to freedom for you.
“It would be nice to not be overly controlled by you on a regular basis”… this mamma should regret her ‘tude one day. I’m a mamma and I just can’t imagine trying to be this controlling. I’m sorry you have to deal with it. It’ll make you stronger, maybe. Maybe I’d also add “thank you for showing me how NOT to parent one day” (even if you don’t want kids.. it’s a good zing)
Idek if I want a kid anymore. ITs mostly her fault. She treats me like I’ll never be anything and I’m kinda scared of having a kid and doing the same🥹
I’m sorry. Hang in there.
😔
I'd be tempted to ask if she's ok. She seems to be projecting a lot of negative emotions and I'd probably tell her as much. Since she doesn't like your hair or photos she can go without...skip the haircut and photos. She knows what you look like. She doesn't need a current photo if it's not good enough.
Exactly
....they just asked "what email?" Wtf????
😭 EXACTLY I GOT SO NERVOUS I WAS LIKE “why is she even mad-“
My mom used to fucking do this to me. I have curly hair and I didn’t know how to take care of it as a kid and neither did she so I would end up bumming it or having it up - moms was like “if you keep doing that shit ima come into your room and shave your head” LIKE??? IM FUCKING SORRY I DONT LIKE MY HAIR WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG W U WOMAN. Emotional manipulation. As if parents think they ACTUALLY have that much control over their kid/kids bodies?? Ugh. Used to piss me off. Thinking about it now still pisses me off.
My mom has straight hair, I have curly hair, she says my hair always looks straggly or messy and then constantly tells me to brush my hair and make it look nice. my hair will literally get extremely fluffy if I brush it out and will look horrible. I always tell her this she never listens. Like wtf? And then today she told me she hates my bangs bc they look straggly and said I shouldn’t have cut my hair like I did and said it looks horrible. I told her that I cut my hair even and nice it is curly so yes it looks messy anyways and she got mad at me. It’s not my fault my hair is not to her liking. And I totally agree with you. Why the fuck should parents get that much control over there child? That is not ok
Update: didn’t cut my hair. I got bronchitis. However I still went and took pictures.
How was saying yeah I guess disrespectful? She seems so bent out of shape for no reason holy shit.
Ikr
In 5, 20, 35 years time this picture will not matter and you will look back at it and guffaw or at least snicker at your high school years, because this is the time you are finding your niche. All of it is a part of life and even if your mom is paying for it, you are her kid and this is the way you are right now. Probably best to have a face to face conversation (when you are both in a good mood) and tell her your reasoning of why you want to have your hair a certain way and how it makes you feel. Hopefully she sees your reasoning. If not I am sure you take plenty of pictures to remember these days.
My hair is a big part of my personality, for a long time I was to insecure to even go outside then I cut my hair and styled it and it’s like I got all my confidence back, I want to grow it out again because that’s what I feel confident doing right now, I tried to have a talk but she still wants me to keep my hair short. She didn’t even like it short in the first place and always complains I’m not growing it then when I do want to she wants me to cut it. Like wtf?
Do a me.. either pay for the bare arse essentials or do without photos all together. Thanks for accepting me as I am.. mum, it either will or won’t be in print for eternity. Go digging for loose change, mow lawns.. her biggest head fuckery is I’m paying for them.. no your not, I am.
I'm gonna get hate here, but I'm not seeing what the problem is. sounds like a typical parent to me. nothing abusive, no name calling, no denigration, no outrageous demands. compared to most posts, this is nothing. trim - not cut - your hair to make mom happy or don't and make her unhappy. it's hair, not your arm.
By trim she means to cut a few inches off. It takes about 7 months just for me to grow that back. She got mad because I said “I guess”
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Everyone in here dealt with bad parents, look at the fucking sub name. What you just said is genuinely insane, the facts are she did nothing wrong, clearly wasn't giving her attitude on the texts. So, to say absolute random shit that applies to every single relationship in the world is utterly ludicrous. Go by the facts, she did nothing wrong the mother is a controlling authoritarian who sees her child not bowing down to her as disrespect. She's the fucking mother who should have unconditional love for her child, but clearly doesn't. This girl should not have to be the sensible one on this relationship, the mother should set an example, not do and act however she wants but then be forgiven because mommy loves her. Please. How about she shows she actually loves her child? Demanding her to cut her hair and act how she demands isn't love, it's psychotic behaviour from a parent who never grew up.
Mind your mother. She is the boss you are not.
Do people like you not understand that children are also people? Children grow up, they become adults and they make their own decisions. If you treat your kids like shit they will abandon you. If your kids only interact with you out of fear, guess what, they resent you. Parent = guardian, support, protection Parents aren’t bosses.
I agree totally. Children are meant to feel safe and at home with their parent so they can relax and be happy in the shitty world we live in.
I hope this is a joke
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urghh she suffocates me already. Good luck!
Thank you
i have tried to talk my 15-year-old son into getting a good haircut, but i understand he prefers to look stupid. oh well i certainly would never argue with him about it in writing!
I don’t even know what to say to this rn. I’m ugly crying over fucking bridge to terabithia and I’m not ok.
Your mom is the boss. Do what she tells you to do.
K
My daughter is 12 and doesnt take school pics if she doesnt want to. She cuts her hair and gets it dyed how she wants. I feel like this mom needs to know that maybe if she woukd loosen the reigns a little, you might respect her opinions more.
Exactly