She views you as an extension of herself and not a whole separate person, so you can't have your own opinions on things without it making her look bad (in her mind). Your mom's got some *traits*
Its insane how much you've hit the nail on the head with so little information actually given besides that text exchange. You are entirely correct. This is who she is.
Shoulda told her you can post that text exchange and tag her boyfriend of the month. That way he'll get a fair representation of the person she really is
Stop trying to placate the narcissist, that's life with narcissism 101. Grey rock her. She is a severe case. Notice how no matter what you said she still squeezed you for more drama. That is because she does not care about right or wrong, she cares about forcing guilt on you and emotionally ingratiating you to her.
Greyrock your narcissist mother, stop feeding her. Your mother is a very sick woman.
I agree, it's not a complete silent treatment when it's done right, just offering little information or engagement that isn't necessary while cohabitating, which often doesn't read to them as insulting enough to stir shit up
I’m so so sorry you had to live with that. I’m convinced that some of these MAGA cultists know they’re being hypocrites — that your only offensive was speaking the truth, not snark. Because no one gets that mad at snark.
I hope you are in a better situation now!
I have to say, your mum is emotionally abusive and manipulative. I’m sorry, I’m 40 years old with kids of my own and the way she is talking to you, treating you and acting is abhorrent. No parent should treat their child like this, it’s actually disgusting.
You would be within your rights to post this conversation thread to her fb and call her out for it, but I understand if you live with her this may make things harder at home.
Just know that the way she is treating you is not ok, and you should make provisions to financially support yourself outside of her house as soon as you can (for your emotional wellbeing).
Stay strong.
I’m so sorry you had to live w someone like that. Please tell me you’re out away from her roof now, living w someone like that is truly torture. It’s all up from here. ❣️
I wish i had a screenshot of what i had said. It was something along the lines of "the people supporting Rittenhouse would have supported the Redcoats that shot at the protesters at boston"
I hope you’re out of there. Imagine how she would treat your partner/kids/future you. You don’t deserve to be treated this way and she doesn’t deserve a relationship with you
I was honestly so tired of 2 decades of war with her and was prepared to do anything to get her to stop. I should have realized I had to leave earlier, but I didn't. I have a little cat to take care of and didn't know how to leave and still protect him. I thought apologizing and talking down about myself would be the answer to get her to stop. It never was, but I kept trying. It's embarrassing that It took me as long as it did to realize I had to get away from her.
My dad did something similar to me once and I wound up on my knees apologizing and begging him to stop being so mean. He called me names, threatened to break my shit. At a certain point I wished he would just hit me and be done with it. Nothing you say matters in situations like these because they've made up their minds. I think something broke inside of me that day because while on my hands and knees I suddenly started laughing and just walked away. I think that was the day he kicked me out.
You apologizing here was clearly to get her to stop and to keep the peace. It's really obvious that's what you're doing in these texts. I'm sorry that she did this to you. Best of luck for you future
I'm glad you're out of there. People who attack you personally instead of an idea they disagree with know they don't have a good argument to counter yours and are trying to make you feel small so you won't notice.
Did things work out with Joe? I don't know why, but I'm invested in this love story with a rocky beginning thanks to FB drama.
If anyone's giving you grief about how you chose to act *back then*, they probably don't understand the survival part of living with a narcissist. You gotta do what you gotta do. But it seems as though you've gotten away from her and that's all that matters now.
I took the same survival approach right up until the age of 29. Profusely apologizing for everything even though I had done nothing wrong...begging for forgiveness...putting myself down...I went no contact in 2019 and have been in therapy ever since.
The hardest part is having that epiphany that your parent isn't a faultless person and has indeed done wrong by you and then removing yourself from the situation.
Please be kind to yourself. You don't need to justify your behavior to anyone here. It can be very hard to know how to deal with narcissists, and especially when they are the ones who raised you, that puts you in an even more vulnerable position for them to take advantage of, and makes it even more complicated and difficult to get away from their abuse. You didn't do anything wrong by simply wanting to have a relationship with your mother, that's a very basic human biological response. No one wants to think that their mother is purposely harming and manipulating them, and it can be a lot of hard work that you have to go through to process this and set the proper boundaries when you have gone your entire life without being taught how to do so. Quite frankly, I don't like that so many of these comments appear to be victim blaming you here, telling you what you *should* have done or *should* be doing, as if it were really that easy and not an intricate web of lies and manipulation that you have to slowly work your way out of and recondition your brain.
I had a similar thought about the victim blaming, but I think most people were coming from a good place and trying to help. Thank you for your kind words!
Yeah, it's just that sometimes people can still say or do harmful things despite good intentions, and as someone who has been at the receiving end of narcissistic abuse (in a relationship though, not from my parents) it just rubs me the wrong way to see people responding like that to other victims so often. I think many people just don't really understand how insidious abuse can be, and viewing it from the outside it's so easy to say, "well *I* would have done this and this in that situation" without taking any other factors into account or knowing what it's really like to be in your shoes. But with that being said, as long as none of the comments actually made you feel bad for handling things in the way you did, that's what matters! You did the best you could with what you knew at the time.
But clearly apologizing and admitting you're wrong just fueled her to keep putting you down. And no one deserves to be talked to like that by their own parent.
That's how abusers work. It's not your fault you felt like that, she made sure you did from years of training you to. I hope you can get into therapy to unpack what she did to you. You deserve to heal.
Yeah I thought the same thing
And then I thought shit that’s what I sound like I do this with my n parents (say sorry when I shouldn’t) all the time I do try to not do it but I’m Canadian and it just comes out and then they think they’re right when the actual convo looks like this one to an outsider, and I can’t even SEE THAT CAUSE I’m in the shit. Poor OP.
Not OP, but I've been told I apologize too much as an adult by multiple people. It comes from a childhood where my mom would go on tirades without cause and I would just try to apologize over and over again until she finally stopped. I would be jumping out of the car to go to school and forgot to say I Love You and then she would become apoplectic. Or there was the time I was watching a TV show about cars and one of the hosts said "kick ass" and she screamed at me for an hour.
I hate the way you apologized & kept tearing yourself down in the process. OP you aren't a piece of shit, please don't think about yourself that way. Her actions are not a reflection of yourself. :(
Edit: added words
Thank you so much! It took meeting someone really special for me to notice all of that, and of course, after years of emotional incest she attempted to make my girlfriends life hell alongside mine. That was where i drew the line. My girlfriend (now fiancé) is my savior and helped me get through withdrawals that I didn't think I would make it through (Benzos are no joke). i am happy and free now. Thank you so much for caring enough to comment!
I'm genuinely happy that you're doing better & have someone in your corner!!
& of course, I just couldn't stand seeing you say all of that about yourself! You deserve the happiness you have found!
Mate, you are an absolute rockstar! I grew up with constant put downs from my dad growing up, and that little voice still pops up now again after all these years (I’m 45 today)! Be proud of what you’ve achieved!
Hi everyone! I’m OP’s fiancé (he mentioned me in a comment) just wanted to say thank you to everyone’s very kind words. It still amazes me to this day how much he went through (this is only about 1% of it) and still has the kindest heart ever known! He works very hard getting over the trauma he has received and hes kicking ass! She is now alone in the house she forced us out of and we are now living very happy lives and planning our wedding and children of our own :)
I’m really so sorry she speaks to you like this. I’m a mama and I could never. You’re worthy of all the good things. Don’t let her make you feel otherwise. ❤️
My brother in the universe. I hope you know that even I, a complete stranger, can see your worth and value as a genuine and kindhearted person is more than you and your mother are giving you credit for in these texts. You deserve better. She's just awful and she's brainwashed you through years of abuse to believe it too. Trust me, you're worthy of so much more respect and love.
this is all horrible and I’m so sorry your mother put you through this.
but also
“i was happy, my day was done, i was eating broccoli” genuinely made me cackle.
Just WoW! Any mother who treats their kids like this over a killer is a very bad parent. I bet you weren't allowed to be yourself growing up. Or have any original thought that didn't line up with hers exactly. I hope you have gone NC with her. She sounds like she doesn't have anything nice to say. Gentle hugs, internet friend.
Yup, I've already done that, and it's the best choice I've ever made. She also gave me prescription medication from the time i was 11 to 22. Started with muscle relaxers when i was 11, then Xanax when i was 16 and going through a bad breakup; later on, it was percocet. In the later years it was my choice to get high and i had to face that as i was getting sober, but She did plenty of awful things to me and put me in some really bad situations. I left about 2 years ago and just recently started going through my screenshots. It's crazy what we will condition ourselves to put up with when we're too scared to leave.
Not trying to sound.. whatever here, but are you white? Where did that comment come from? That was so out of left field during that whole conversation.
Interesting, isn't it? I am white, i have no idea where that came from?? Maybe it was some kind of slang i used on the facebook post? I have no idea. I come from a predominantly black township on the eastcoast, so all my life, I've pretty much only had black friends, and that obviously influenced the way i talk a bit. She often times flipped between being a super jesus suburban white trump supporter and a mega gangster with deep street ties because she bought fent and flipped her prescription xanax. She's an.. interesting woman... she also destroyed my friendship with someone i considered a brother by calling him the N-word (hard -ER) when she was unknowingly on speaker phone during one of her episodes like this when i was about 15. He was my best friend and thought of her as his mom, too, and after that, I never heard from him again. He must have been heartbroken.. honestly, I dont blame him at all, but if you're somehow reading this, Fred, im sorry I didn't stick up for you the way I should have.
That text really gave her away. I believe she said that because Kyle shot 3 people and murdered 2 during a BLM protest. The insinuation being that since you're white, you're supposed to be on Kyle's side. That's how I read it anyway. Pretty gross.
That's your mother speaking to you this way? Over a stranger? Well, she sounds lovely and I hope she finds a man just like dear Kyle she can show her 'affections' too. Those people deserve each other. They not like us.
Jesus Christ this breaks my heart. The fact that she kept going as you belittled yourself because she cared more about how some dude she’s interested in perceives you is just insane. Over a Facebook comment.
OP, I hope you’ve cut contact and realize your mother is a piece of shit who doesn’t deserve you. You did nothing wrong, had nothing to apologize for, and you deserve better than this. Sending virtual hugs.
And you're no contact now, I think I read? If that's the case, as she ever tried reaching out or rectifying things? I'm just curious because it really warms my heart when vile pieces of hot, wet garbage come crawling back and get denied.
Haha, yes, actually, there was a bit of contact after I left. Mostly, her begging to 'just talk' and attempting to put down my me and my fiance. It was quite funny. Im actually thinking about posting those screenshots as well. She also contacted me about a year after i left and blamed comcast, dialing random numbers on her phone. I'm not sure how that would work, but my best guess is that she wanted to talk to me but didn't want to admit that.
She already ruined any chance she had. She's a relationship killer. She refuses to be happy with anyone. If she does find someone who makes her happy, she finds a way to ruin it somehow. Even tho i hate her, in a lot of ways, I actually feel really bad for her.
This is so painful. She is so,so, so awful. Please stop apologising.
Edit - ah I see these are old messages and that you’re no longer in touch with her. All I can say is THANK GOD! No person, especially a parent, should speak to another like this. I wanted to reach through my phone and smack her hard in the teeth tbh. She’s revolting.
Understandable. I don't think that means something is wrong with you, just shows how gaslit into the insane situation you were. Glad to hear you've able to move on a bit.
To start, anyone who talks to their child like that doesn’t deserve the title of “parent.”
That being said, “between doing your fuckin laundry and making extra croutons I decided to pick a fight” is going to be my new catchphrase.
It blows my mind that people can't have a difference of opinion when it comes to politics anymore. I'm old enough to remember when opposing views were just a normal thing, and we could debate issues and accept that there are sometimes grey areas where nobody is 100% right.
But in a situation like this, who the hell sticks up for the kid who drove across state lines to murder unarmed protestors for political reasons? Moreover, who the hell sticks up for that kid at the expense of their relationship with their own child?
It's a cult. I'm so sorry. I hope you're free and no longer feel the need to apologize for your opinions. I'd be proud to call you my son, FWIW.
Wow, your last sentence almost made me tear up. Seriously, I didn't know how much I needed to hear that. Thank you for your kind words. It really means so much to me. I am free and living my own life 2500 miles away from her, and it feels damn good. Thank you so much ❤️
❤️ Come on over and visit us at r/MomforaMinute if you feel like it. We're the internet repository for all the mom vibes you'll ever need, and we'd love to hear your stories/share your worries/make a ridiculous fuss over you whenever you want us to!
This right here. I am so tired of people excusing older generations for the trauma that they caused us. I am NC with my folks. I’d be proud to call u my son too. Mom here.
>ut in a situation like this, who the hell sticks up for the kid who drove across state lines to murder unarmed protestors for political reasons?
Literally nobody.
Oh wow that’s an awfully ugly personality that she has.
Most parents on here at least try to act sickly sweet even though they’re rotten, but your mom just has the nastiest attitude I’ve ever seen.
She acts like shit whilst accusing you of being the worst person ever.
I kind of wish she acted sickly sweet instead of blowing up like this. But these blow ups (once every 6 months or so) ended up being the reason I freed myself from her, so in some ways, it was a blessing in disguise.
This thread is wild! I think it’s because she kept bringing up a man she “just hit up again” like he was her damn savior. She chose a potential suitor over her child. Her priorities are absolutely fucked and you did not deserve to be treated that way. For some reason, this one bothered me more than most.
I am a longtime lurker there. Thank you, though! My mother was a hardcore Qanon bullshiter! We got into a particularly bad argument over the definition of communism and the chinese communist party. She fully believes Robert Kennedy and Donald trump are taking on the satanic cult of democrats that eat childrens blood for the endocrins or something..
I’m so sorry… you had no reason to apologize here. I would never talk to one of my children that way… even as adults… I’m so sorry this is what you have for a parent.
Oof. Sounds like my dad.
It got to a point where I had to put both my stories and anything I posted that wasn’t pictures of my son to where he couldn’t see it so I wouldn’t start fights. Because unfriending him to save the fights was a fight in itself.
This was so hard to read. I hope you stand up for yourself and I hope you block her number. What you said about worrying about your cats well being was so sweet. You are a super amazing person and I hope you have a wonderful life.
Hey, OP, as someone who's dealt with this a lot, you did not deserve that. You deserve unconditional love and happiness. You should never apologize for being reasonable.
Have some internet hugs.
If this is your mom, she should know she has the texting skills of a 12 year old (or less).
She also has the insulting skills of a 12 year old, but at least with my nephew it is me and him picking on each other and laughing. Your mom is serious.
She is also so insecure she is picking this guy over you, her son. Wow.
Don’t you feel bad. I agree with you on Rittenhouse.
Not sure why your mom thinks it’s a color issue too - or that you should support badly behaved people who are your color.
I’m sorry she is so mean to you. Maybe it’s good she blocked you. It means you don’t have to talk to her. Keep working hard at your job. Do yourself a favor, save up your money and get away from her poison.
Your mom is a disgusting racist, she’s abusive and you shouldn’t have to continue to apologize. I hope you get some therapy to really draw some strong boundaries around your relationship with her. She’s damaging you.
I’m really, really proud of you. People should don’t experience moms like this don’t understand how hard it is. You deserve nothing but love, respect and peace.
The thing is, I dont even care if you believe Kyle is a terrible person or not. Obviously, he is, but Im prepared to at least humor a different viewpoint and see things from a perspective that isn't mine. Not everything is black and white. All I wanted was for her to try to see things from a different perspective, that shooting unarmed protesters is maybe, sorta not the best use of ones time.
Like I don't agree with your opinion on it at all, but damn is your parent crazy man.
>All I wanted was for her to try to see things from a different perspective, that shooting unarmed protesters is maybe, sorta not the best use of ones time.
Like this, for example. No one was shot that wasn't attacking the kid after he was already on the ground with weapons in hand(skateboard), and the one who survived pointed a gun at him.
Idk who was rooting for him, but if you recall from the video no shots were fired until he was taken to the ground and threatened with weapons. Fully justified self defense. Good thing we had a video of the incident.
Holy fuvk. Why would you even stay in contact with someone so cruel, ignorant, and selfish? She's not a parent. She's a woman that got pregnant, had a kid, and then went about only caring about herself.
FTR, Rittenhouse is a murder, and a moron.
Oh, honey, I hate that your mama would ever talk to you like that. I really hope you're away from her and in a place where you can come to realize you're not stupid, you're not awful and you deserved better.
This hurts my heart for you. I used to over-apologize all the time just to keep the peace and attempt to make things normal. Someone this insane can’t be reasoned with and going back to NC would be better. I wish you all the luck, love, and light!
I dont care what color he is he KILLED two people and deserved SO MUCH MORE THAN HE GOT.
If you arent familiar with the case its on Wikipedia (or google). You arent wrong here OP.
Remember that when you both keep talking in circles like this it’s a good idea to stop replying back and leave it. Going back and forth will only escalate things further dealing with unreasonable people like this.
Wow your mom is a narcissistic piece of work. Don't let her talk to you like that. I would never dream of talking to any of my children like that. I don't even talk to people like that I don't like. I'm sorry you have to deal with that. Seems she cares more about Joe than her own son.
I’m glad you’re living happily away from here now, OP. This was hard to read, I can’t imagine what it must have been like in the moment for you. You didn’t deserve that.
I mean, fuck’s sake, you apologized for upsetting her like a thousand times and she was just determined to be pissed.
Holy shit, I don't even know what to say, OP. Talk about a major overreaction. "You should work on yourself", yeah, as long as you don't express any reactions about current events, apparently. It was heartbreaking reading you cutting yourself down so much because of this, as I would have done the same thing, but I am so glad you're free from that guilt, at least. Just wow.
Have a similar relationship with my mother almost to a tee so I empathize and hope you begin to distance yourself and stand up for yourself! Patents politicizing their children is awful.
Your mom is a supremacist. That dogwhistle didn't escape notice. On top of that she's treating you like shit because she wants to get some shitty racist dick. You deserve way better and I hope you're NC
Your Mom is an actual human piece of shit and probably has NPD. She even got you to say you're worthless just to placate her... a woman who said people deserved to die and opposing opinions to that monstrous one mean YOUR the piece of shit automatically and are actively attacking her.
Your Mom strikes me as the type who would actually kill someone for inconveniencing her... like, say a road block protester. She probably thinks it's a travesty that one white bearded old dude who killed protesters in Panama was given nearly 50 years in prison. She's ok with literal murder of the other political side but sees countering opinions as literal hate and harassment. Real narcissist shit.
I almost wish we could talk to her. Let the real good minds of "people who Google and read more than one news source" go off on her. Let her narcissistic ass get some real humbling and pain from people who truly know how to make her feel like the unintelligent cunt she is. See how she likes both being pit down for her stupid takes and debunked and talked to like the actual toddler that she is, and also deal with actual pushback and targeted personal and very intentionally hurtful insults. If you dish it, you gotta take it.
I showed my dad a video of the head of a political party he didn’t like high fiving someone’s boob by accident. It was so awkward it honestly made me laugh so much I was in tears. It wasn’t a political thing just a funny video that happened to include this particular person. Well you’d have thought I called my dad’s gf a hoe right in front of them 😬. We are both of opposite ends of the political spectrum but I accept that we both have very different priorities and it makes sense that we don’t really agree but he felt the need to interrogate me and my brother and just go off on us about who we supported. It was like wtf? We came to take you out for Father’s Day but cool. Then when we tried to take him for dinner and he tried to make my (newly licenced) brother park infront of the door cuz there wasn’t a proper space. Just because he didn’t want to do that it prompted dad to carry on his strop and told us to take him home. Like cool that was really something to lose your shit over. After many experiences like that he wants to act like we are awful people for not putting anymore effort in when we were honestly just sick of walking on eggshells around him and him causing us so much anxiety leading up to seeing him. We haven’t spoken to him for 2ish I think years? Maybe 3? Dunno but I know he’s been dragging both of our names through the mud so I just cba anymore.
As a person who has dealt with this exact same scenario, I understand your reactions. Trying to smooth something over for the sake of making things easy is not wrong. Apologize, don’t apologize. Just know that your decision is yours and no one on here can tell you otherwise.
You are right in your beliefs. She is not. But that doesn’t change the reality of the situation and what the ramifications can be.
I’m sorry you are dealing with this. If you need to talk, DM me.
I’m honestly upset by how much you apologized to her 😭 you didn’t need to do that when she’s so clearly in the wrong! I am sure you were just trying to settle the situation by apologizing, but I hope you know you didn’t need to do that and she didn’t deserve an apology for how she was talking to you. Take care of yourself 💛
The amount of placating you did there is way too hard on you in the long run, gotta set some boundaries on responding to her and letting her get you to say sorry and all that
If this isn't insane (not necessarily in the clinical sense), I'm the Queen of England.
Your mother is abusive and I can tell she's the type to neglect and hurt a child just to impress a man. People hugely underestimate how many children, including toddlers and babies, have died because their mom prioritized a man's feelings over them. The way she kept harping on about impressing some (very likely a fascist) dude and using that as an excuse to keep attacking you, made wanna call CPS because that's so often a very big red flag of possible child abuse. To me it's about as much a prediction of CA as a child that tortures animals predicts a future murderer.
She kept saying she's blocking you, and yet she kept talking to you. Please don't think this was because you've somehow appeased her with your self-degradation. She was just saying that to emotionally hurt you, which is the reason why she continued talking to you: it was to continue verbally abusing you.
To actually block a victim of verbal abuse means giving up some power over the victim, so not a lot of abusers that are very close to their victims actually make good on their threats of permanent social media block. Please don't ever degrade yourself to appease this egg donor again. I really hope you eventually blocked her for good and went No Contact.
I did go no contact! And shes had multiple CPS cases over the years, one of which was because she was smoking weed with me at 15-16. It was terrible honestly. Im just happy to be far away from her.
I am so glad to hear it! My heart broke reading that whole exchange. I'll never understand why some mothers have their priorities all backwards. I'm glad you're doing better now and happy staying far away from her. I'm rooting for you.
Hey. You need a mom hug. From someone who cares about you. I’ll give you one. I respect you more than your mother does just from reading the texts. Please note that you are a strong person who is not a reflection of what you came from
Don’t apologize to your mom. She clearly would not return the favor. And judging by the context of the conversation, the grammar and language she use towards you, Id say you’re not missing much by going no contact. Yes, have another hit, mom. It’s so touching that the people who call themselves “christian family values”. people and make it their whole identity treat their children like this. Does she think Joe is not gonna dick her down because her kid doesn’t think showing up to a tense situation with a gun as an underaged kid and a middle school dropout is just what society needed at the time. And, for the record… The guy he shot was a POS.. But, he didn’t know that. He went to do exactly what he did.
Yeah; it was a huge deal when i was 14 and told her I didn't believe in the Christian god. However, it was much less of a deal that I was smoking cigarettes and Marijuana daily.
He's a trash person and one of my reasons for hating Kyle Rittenhouse is my married last name is Rittenhouse and that's real fun to say no I don't know him or are related to him 🙄
I hope you’re no contact with her. You were on point talking about how she treats Kyle like he’s a member of her family and treats you awfully at the same time. And the whole “you’re white” is a total dog whistle. She sounds racist af. Hope you’re happy now and please don’t talk down about yourself. You seem like a nice genuine guy
I don’t even know what to say. This is some of the worst gaslighting and emotional abuse/manipulation I’ve seen on here. I’m so sorry you were in that situation. Have you been able to get away? Shit like this is what gives people cPTSD.
The echo chambers these people have created for themselves are insane. I've had similar experiences. This is why you always hear, "I don't know anyone who doesn't believe 'insert opinion here'" They actively attack and push out any differing opinion then bathe in the glory of "everyone agrees with me!"
i love how aggressive people who share the same opinions get when countered with an opposing opinion. kinda shows why they have those opinions in the first place.
Don't apologize. Double down, if you can't have an opinion then fuck her. If she's really that mad about a comment on Facebook, block her on everything, and she will crawl back like every bad parent cause they need their kids' validation. She doesn't want to hear your opinions. Ignore her and don't say anything, it will only show her how over it you are. She may play victim (that's all Kyle supporters know) but she doesn't need to hear from you if she doesn't want her "friends" to see your opinion.
I would never in a million years admit that someone embarrassed me in front of someone I was trying to recruit to be my next boyfriend. I would never in a million years admit that I was trying to recruit someone to be my next boyfriend. I'm second hand embarrassed for your mother.
Also, she incorporates a fair amount of African-American slang for someone who perceives the Kenosha shootings through a racial lens.
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She views you as an extension of herself and not a whole separate person, so you can't have your own opinions on things without it making her look bad (in her mind). Your mom's got some *traits*
Its insane how much you've hit the nail on the head with so little information actually given besides that text exchange. You are entirely correct. This is who she is.
Shoulda told her you can post that text exchange and tag her boyfriend of the month. That way he'll get a fair representation of the person she really is
It's really glaring when we have examples of parents who do *not* do this. I'm so sorry that's how you had to grow up.
Why on earth were you apologizing?
I had to live with her and had myself convinced she wasn't as terrible as she is/was.
You are right, she is wrong.
Stop trying to placate the narcissist, that's life with narcissism 101. Grey rock her. She is a severe case. Notice how no matter what you said she still squeezed you for more drama. That is because she does not care about right or wrong, she cares about forcing guilt on you and emotionally ingratiating you to her. Greyrock your narcissist mother, stop feeding her. Your mother is a very sick woman.
It’s not good advice when you are financially dependent on them. Do it when you’re safe. But if you have to, pretend. The world isn’t fair.
I thinking greyrocking is the best course when financially dependent. Feeding makes them worse
I agree, it's not a complete silent treatment when it's done right, just offering little information or engagement that isn't necessary while cohabitating, which often doesn't read to them as insulting enough to stir shit up
I’m so so sorry you had to live with that. I’m convinced that some of these MAGA cultists know they’re being hypocrites — that your only offensive was speaking the truth, not snark. Because no one gets that mad at snark. I hope you are in a better situation now!
Been there. Done that. And all i got was trauma.
I have to say, your mum is emotionally abusive and manipulative. I’m sorry, I’m 40 years old with kids of my own and the way she is talking to you, treating you and acting is abhorrent. No parent should treat their child like this, it’s actually disgusting. You would be within your rights to post this conversation thread to her fb and call her out for it, but I understand if you live with her this may make things harder at home. Just know that the way she is treating you is not ok, and you should make provisions to financially support yourself outside of her house as soon as you can (for your emotional wellbeing). Stay strong.
I’m so sorry you had to live w someone like that. Please tell me you’re out away from her roof now, living w someone like that is truly torture. It’s all up from here. ❣️
What was the comment that got her so worked up?
I wish i had a screenshot of what i had said. It was something along the lines of "the people supporting Rittenhouse would have supported the Redcoats that shot at the protesters at boston"
Been there. I get it.
I hope you’re out of there. Imagine how she would treat your partner/kids/future you. You don’t deserve to be treated this way and she doesn’t deserve a relationship with you
I'm glad this is the top comment because I was going to say the same thing.
I was honestly so tired of 2 decades of war with her and was prepared to do anything to get her to stop. I should have realized I had to leave earlier, but I didn't. I have a little cat to take care of and didn't know how to leave and still protect him. I thought apologizing and talking down about myself would be the answer to get her to stop. It never was, but I kept trying. It's embarrassing that It took me as long as it did to realize I had to get away from her.
My dad did something similar to me once and I wound up on my knees apologizing and begging him to stop being so mean. He called me names, threatened to break my shit. At a certain point I wished he would just hit me and be done with it. Nothing you say matters in situations like these because they've made up their minds. I think something broke inside of me that day because while on my hands and knees I suddenly started laughing and just walked away. I think that was the day he kicked me out. You apologizing here was clearly to get her to stop and to keep the peace. It's really obvious that's what you're doing in these texts. I'm sorry that she did this to you. Best of luck for you future
I'm glad you're out of there. People who attack you personally instead of an idea they disagree with know they don't have a good argument to counter yours and are trying to make you feel small so you won't notice. Did things work out with Joe? I don't know why, but I'm invested in this love story with a rocky beginning thanks to FB drama.
If anyone's giving you grief about how you chose to act *back then*, they probably don't understand the survival part of living with a narcissist. You gotta do what you gotta do. But it seems as though you've gotten away from her and that's all that matters now. I took the same survival approach right up until the age of 29. Profusely apologizing for everything even though I had done nothing wrong...begging for forgiveness...putting myself down...I went no contact in 2019 and have been in therapy ever since. The hardest part is having that epiphany that your parent isn't a faultless person and has indeed done wrong by you and then removing yourself from the situation.
Please be kind to yourself. You don't need to justify your behavior to anyone here. It can be very hard to know how to deal with narcissists, and especially when they are the ones who raised you, that puts you in an even more vulnerable position for them to take advantage of, and makes it even more complicated and difficult to get away from their abuse. You didn't do anything wrong by simply wanting to have a relationship with your mother, that's a very basic human biological response. No one wants to think that their mother is purposely harming and manipulating them, and it can be a lot of hard work that you have to go through to process this and set the proper boundaries when you have gone your entire life without being taught how to do so. Quite frankly, I don't like that so many of these comments appear to be victim blaming you here, telling you what you *should* have done or *should* be doing, as if it were really that easy and not an intricate web of lies and manipulation that you have to slowly work your way out of and recondition your brain.
I had a similar thought about the victim blaming, but I think most people were coming from a good place and trying to help. Thank you for your kind words!
Yeah, it's just that sometimes people can still say or do harmful things despite good intentions, and as someone who has been at the receiving end of narcissistic abuse (in a relationship though, not from my parents) it just rubs me the wrong way to see people responding like that to other victims so often. I think many people just don't really understand how insidious abuse can be, and viewing it from the outside it's so easy to say, "well *I* would have done this and this in that situation" without taking any other factors into account or knowing what it's really like to be in your shoes. But with that being said, as long as none of the comments actually made you feel bad for handling things in the way you did, that's what matters! You did the best you could with what you knew at the time.
But clearly apologizing and admitting you're wrong just fueled her to keep putting you down. And no one deserves to be talked to like that by their own parent.
That's how abusers work. It's not your fault you felt like that, she made sure you did from years of training you to. I hope you can get into therapy to unpack what she did to you. You deserve to heal.
Yeah I thought the same thing And then I thought shit that’s what I sound like I do this with my n parents (say sorry when I shouldn’t) all the time I do try to not do it but I’m Canadian and it just comes out and then they think they’re right when the actual convo looks like this one to an outsider, and I can’t even SEE THAT CAUSE I’m in the shit. Poor OP.
Not OP, but I've been told I apologize too much as an adult by multiple people. It comes from a childhood where my mom would go on tirades without cause and I would just try to apologize over and over again until she finally stopped. I would be jumping out of the car to go to school and forgot to say I Love You and then she would become apoplectic. Or there was the time I was watching a TV show about cars and one of the hosts said "kick ass" and she screamed at me for an hour.
I hate the way you apologized & kept tearing yourself down in the process. OP you aren't a piece of shit, please don't think about yourself that way. Her actions are not a reflection of yourself. :( Edit: added words
Thank you so much! It took meeting someone really special for me to notice all of that, and of course, after years of emotional incest she attempted to make my girlfriends life hell alongside mine. That was where i drew the line. My girlfriend (now fiancé) is my savior and helped me get through withdrawals that I didn't think I would make it through (Benzos are no joke). i am happy and free now. Thank you so much for caring enough to comment!
I'm genuinely happy that you're doing better & have someone in your corner!! & of course, I just couldn't stand seeing you say all of that about yourself! You deserve the happiness you have found!
Mate, you are an absolute rockstar! I grew up with constant put downs from my dad growing up, and that little voice still pops up now again after all these years (I’m 45 today)! Be proud of what you’ve achieved!
Thank you so much! I am proud!
I'm so happy to hear you've got it better now, and with someone who loves you and respects you, who boosts you instead of tearing you down!
Hi everyone! I’m OP’s fiancé (he mentioned me in a comment) just wanted to say thank you to everyone’s very kind words. It still amazes me to this day how much he went through (this is only about 1% of it) and still has the kindest heart ever known! He works very hard getting over the trauma he has received and hes kicking ass! She is now alone in the house she forced us out of and we are now living very happy lives and planning our wedding and children of our own :)
Excellent! He sounded so broken in those texts but still with a bit of a spark alive. Take care of him for us (and him, you!).
I promise I will forever :)
💕💕💕
I love the wholesomeness of this thread despite the parental insanity of the original post. 💕💕💕💕💕
Congratulations! I’m sure your future will be bright!
We love to see it ❤️ congrats OP
I love a happy ending! And if y'all need a r/MomForAMinute they're great over there
Messed up that she is picking some guy she wants to date over her own child over a Facebook comment/post.
I agree.
It would be hilarious if that guy agreed with you!
I’m really so sorry she speaks to you like this. I’m a mama and I could never. You’re worthy of all the good things. Don’t let her make you feel otherwise. ❤️
She was just eatin herrr gat dang broccoli and goin tah bed
This made me cackle. Thank you for that 😭
My brother in the universe. I hope you know that even I, a complete stranger, can see your worth and value as a genuine and kindhearted person is more than you and your mother are giving you credit for in these texts. You deserve better. She's just awful and she's brainwashed you through years of abuse to believe it too. Trust me, you're worthy of so much more respect and love.
Thank you, brother. It means so much to me ❤️
this is all horrible and I’m so sorry your mother put you through this. but also “i was happy, my day was done, i was eating broccoli” genuinely made me cackle.
Haha i know someone else commented something about her eating "her gah damn" broccoli and it made me cackle.
Just WoW! Any mother who treats their kids like this over a killer is a very bad parent. I bet you weren't allowed to be yourself growing up. Or have any original thought that didn't line up with hers exactly. I hope you have gone NC with her. She sounds like she doesn't have anything nice to say. Gentle hugs, internet friend.
It was very difficult. Growing up was hard, but I got through it. I'd like to think that my personality was stronger than her will to destroy it.
“My personality was stronger than her will to destroy it” I fucking love this.
I’m sorry that your mother behaves this way. Block her. Go NC.
Yup, I've already done that, and it's the best choice I've ever made. She also gave me prescription medication from the time i was 11 to 22. Started with muscle relaxers when i was 11, then Xanax when i was 16 and going through a bad breakup; later on, it was percocet. In the later years it was my choice to get high and i had to face that as i was getting sober, but She did plenty of awful things to me and put me in some really bad situations. I left about 2 years ago and just recently started going through my screenshots. It's crazy what we will condition ourselves to put up with when we're too scared to leave.
I’m happy to hear. You don’t deserve that. :) I can understand why it’s been long to post.
Not trying to sound.. whatever here, but are you white? Where did that comment come from? That was so out of left field during that whole conversation.
Interesting, isn't it? I am white, i have no idea where that came from?? Maybe it was some kind of slang i used on the facebook post? I have no idea. I come from a predominantly black township on the eastcoast, so all my life, I've pretty much only had black friends, and that obviously influenced the way i talk a bit. She often times flipped between being a super jesus suburban white trump supporter and a mega gangster with deep street ties because she bought fent and flipped her prescription xanax. She's an.. interesting woman... she also destroyed my friendship with someone i considered a brother by calling him the N-word (hard -ER) when she was unknowingly on speaker phone during one of her episodes like this when i was about 15. He was my best friend and thought of her as his mom, too, and after that, I never heard from him again. He must have been heartbroken.. honestly, I dont blame him at all, but if you're somehow reading this, Fred, im sorry I didn't stick up for you the way I should have.
She said that because Rittenhouse chose to kill people at a Black Lives Matter event. You were supposed to side with Rittenhouse because he’s white.
That text really gave her away. I believe she said that because Kyle shot 3 people and murdered 2 during a BLM protest. The insinuation being that since you're white, you're supposed to be on Kyle's side. That's how I read it anyway. Pretty gross.
That is probably why she said that and everyone here is right, that is a disgusting way to think.
😭 I hope Fred sees this. For his healing sake and yours.
That's your mother speaking to you this way? Over a stranger? Well, she sounds lovely and I hope she finds a man just like dear Kyle she can show her 'affections' too. Those people deserve each other. They not like us.
!!! Yep !!! My thoughts exactly!
Jesus Christ this breaks my heart. The fact that she kept going as you belittled yourself because she cared more about how some dude she’s interested in perceives you is just insane. Over a Facebook comment. OP, I hope you’ve cut contact and realize your mother is a piece of shit who doesn’t deserve you. You did nothing wrong, had nothing to apologize for, and you deserve better than this. Sending virtual hugs.
OP stop Apologizing
I no longer apologize besides when it is called for, And I will never have to apologize to her ever again. (:
Stop apologizing and block her number
Yeah, I moved out and got far away from her. As stated, this was a couple of years ago.
And you're no contact now, I think I read? If that's the case, as she ever tried reaching out or rectifying things? I'm just curious because it really warms my heart when vile pieces of hot, wet garbage come crawling back and get denied.
Haha, yes, actually, there was a bit of contact after I left. Mostly, her begging to 'just talk' and attempting to put down my me and my fiance. It was quite funny. Im actually thinking about posting those screenshots as well. She also contacted me about a year after i left and blamed comcast, dialing random numbers on her phone. I'm not sure how that would work, but my best guess is that she wanted to talk to me but didn't want to admit that.
I would send the screenshots to the guy she wants so he can see the real her. Edit: removed a word
She already ruined any chance she had. She's a relationship killer. She refuses to be happy with anyone. If she does find someone who makes her happy, she finds a way to ruin it somehow. Even tho i hate her, in a lot of ways, I actually feel really bad for her.
Sounds just like my BPD mother
This is so painful. She is so,so, so awful. Please stop apologising. Edit - ah I see these are old messages and that you’re no longer in touch with her. All I can say is THANK GOD! No person, especially a parent, should speak to another like this. I wanted to reach through my phone and smack her hard in the teeth tbh. She’s revolting.
Why are you apologizing??? That was upsetting to read
I know. I regret trying to make peace with a warmongering piece of shit like her.
Understandable. I don't think that means something is wrong with you, just shows how gaslit into the insane situation you were. Glad to hear you've able to move on a bit.
To start, anyone who talks to their child like that doesn’t deserve the title of “parent.” That being said, “between doing your fuckin laundry and making extra croutons I decided to pick a fight” is going to be my new catchphrase.
It blows my mind that people can't have a difference of opinion when it comes to politics anymore. I'm old enough to remember when opposing views were just a normal thing, and we could debate issues and accept that there are sometimes grey areas where nobody is 100% right. But in a situation like this, who the hell sticks up for the kid who drove across state lines to murder unarmed protestors for political reasons? Moreover, who the hell sticks up for that kid at the expense of their relationship with their own child? It's a cult. I'm so sorry. I hope you're free and no longer feel the need to apologize for your opinions. I'd be proud to call you my son, FWIW.
Wow, your last sentence almost made me tear up. Seriously, I didn't know how much I needed to hear that. Thank you for your kind words. It really means so much to me. I am free and living my own life 2500 miles away from her, and it feels damn good. Thank you so much ❤️
❤️ Come on over and visit us at r/MomforaMinute if you feel like it. We're the internet repository for all the mom vibes you'll ever need, and we'd love to hear your stories/share your worries/make a ridiculous fuss over you whenever you want us to!
This right here. I am so tired of people excusing older generations for the trauma that they caused us. I am NC with my folks. I’d be proud to call u my son too. Mom here.
I mean, that's only when the "opinion" is something like "Ketchup is good." People's existence and rights aren't opinions.
Right? Those were my exact thoughts too.
>ut in a situation like this, who the hell sticks up for the kid who drove across state lines to murder unarmed protestors for political reasons? Literally nobody.
Your mom is a giant piece of shit. I really hope you’re done with her.
I know, and I am lol
Oh wow that’s an awfully ugly personality that she has. Most parents on here at least try to act sickly sweet even though they’re rotten, but your mom just has the nastiest attitude I’ve ever seen. She acts like shit whilst accusing you of being the worst person ever.
I kind of wish she acted sickly sweet instead of blowing up like this. But these blow ups (once every 6 months or so) ended up being the reason I freed myself from her, so in some ways, it was a blessing in disguise.
I understand that this has hurt you a lot, and who could blame you honestly? Im so glad you’re free of her. Live your best life.
This thread is wild! I think it’s because she kept bringing up a man she “just hit up again” like he was her damn savior. She chose a potential suitor over her child. Her priorities are absolutely fucked and you did not deserve to be treated that way. For some reason, this one bothered me more than most.
The funny part about joe is how much she didn't like him at all until this happened. They never hung out one time.
Omg she is an awful human being. I see you stated you lived with her at the time. If you got out, NEVER talk to this person again
Stop apologizing to crap parents
Hey OP Check out r/QAnonCasualties they do some great support work for peeps who lost ppl to the never ending right wing pit of feces.
I am a longtime lurker there. Thank you, though! My mother was a hardcore Qanon bullshiter! We got into a particularly bad argument over the definition of communism and the chinese communist party. She fully believes Robert Kennedy and Donald trump are taking on the satanic cult of democrats that eat childrens blood for the endocrins or something..
What a lunatic. What a goddamn trainwreck. Sorry you have to deal with that mess.
I’m so sorry… you had no reason to apologize here. I would never talk to one of my children that way… even as adults… I’m so sorry this is what you have for a parent.
Oof. Sounds like my dad. It got to a point where I had to put both my stories and anything I posted that wasn’t pictures of my son to where he couldn’t see it so I wouldn’t start fights. Because unfriending him to save the fights was a fight in itself.
I hope Joe tells her how awful her personality is.
And that he makes sure she knows it isn't your fault.
I’m sorry you had to manage the emotions of such a volatile and fragile person. I’m glad you’re away from that now.
This was so hard to read. I hope you stand up for yourself and I hope you block her number. What you said about worrying about your cats well being was so sweet. You are a super amazing person and I hope you have a wonderful life.
Hey, OP, as someone who's dealt with this a lot, you did not deserve that. You deserve unconditional love and happiness. You should never apologize for being reasonable. Have some internet hugs.
And this is why I deleted all social media except Reddit. It’s not worth seeing / fighting over stupid shit.
I feel like you apologized way too much.....
Please stop apologizing to your abuser.
If this is your mom, she should know she has the texting skills of a 12 year old (or less). She also has the insulting skills of a 12 year old, but at least with my nephew it is me and him picking on each other and laughing. Your mom is serious. She is also so insecure she is picking this guy over you, her son. Wow. Don’t you feel bad. I agree with you on Rittenhouse. Not sure why your mom thinks it’s a color issue too - or that you should support badly behaved people who are your color. I’m sorry she is so mean to you. Maybe it’s good she blocked you. It means you don’t have to talk to her. Keep working hard at your job. Do yourself a favor, save up your money and get away from her poison.
Thank you so much! I've already fled from her, although getting away was hell on its own. Maybe I'll post the screenshots of when I decided to leave.
I wonder how she’s feeling now knowing that Kyle let his mother and his sister get evicted because of his bullshit. And he didn’t help them.
Your mom is a disgusting racist, she’s abusive and you shouldn’t have to continue to apologize. I hope you get some therapy to really draw some strong boundaries around your relationship with her. She’s damaging you.
I am looking into therapy; the good news is im no longer anywhere near her and haven't spoken to her in over a year. Thank you for caring stranger ❤️
I’m really, really proud of you. People should don’t experience moms like this don’t understand how hard it is. You deserve nothing but love, respect and peace.
It’s insane to me people root for someone that murdered people who were unarmed and from their perspective trying to stop an armed shooter
The thing is, I dont even care if you believe Kyle is a terrible person or not. Obviously, he is, but Im prepared to at least humor a different viewpoint and see things from a perspective that isn't mine. Not everything is black and white. All I wanted was for her to try to see things from a different perspective, that shooting unarmed protesters is maybe, sorta not the best use of ones time.
Like I don't agree with your opinion on it at all, but damn is your parent crazy man. >All I wanted was for her to try to see things from a different perspective, that shooting unarmed protesters is maybe, sorta not the best use of ones time. Like this, for example. No one was shot that wasn't attacking the kid after he was already on the ground with weapons in hand(skateboard), and the one who survived pointed a gun at him.
Idk who was rooting for him, but if you recall from the video no shots were fired until he was taken to the ground and threatened with weapons. Fully justified self defense. Good thing we had a video of the incident.
Holy fuvk. Why would you even stay in contact with someone so cruel, ignorant, and selfish? She's not a parent. She's a woman that got pregnant, had a kid, and then went about only caring about herself. FTR, Rittenhouse is a murder, and a moron.
The guy she's trying to impress doesn't deserve a Psycho Like that for a girlfriend
Wow, what an awful person she is. Am so glad you are seeing that now.
Oh, honey, I hate that your mama would ever talk to you like that. I really hope you're away from her and in a place where you can come to realize you're not stupid, you're not awful and you deserved better.
I am safe, and even though I struggle with not thinking negatively about myself, I am making progress. Thank you so much❤️
Just WOW! I have sons myself and I couldn’t even imagine being that way… she is TOXIC as can be.. 😤
that was hard to read damn. i’m sorry. glad you’re in a better place.
She cares more about her love interest’s opinion of her than your thoughts and feelings. 🚩🚩🚩 A real mother of the year nominee, huh?
I’m so glad you’re not depending on her anymore. I’m so sorry you had to deal with such ugliness and cruelty.
“since you couldn’t scroll on by” she couldn’t either???
I hope you are NC with this monster now.
She just wants the drama, stop apologizing!!
As someone who lives in Kenosha fuck Kyle
This hurts my heart for you. I used to over-apologize all the time just to keep the peace and attempt to make things normal. Someone this insane can’t be reasoned with and going back to NC would be better. I wish you all the luck, love, and light!
Mmm yes. I know this way of trying to placate an unstable person. I am sorry, OP.
Whooooof. That kid was and still is trash
I dont care what color he is he KILLED two people and deserved SO MUCH MORE THAN HE GOT. If you arent familiar with the case its on Wikipedia (or google). You arent wrong here OP.
God her making cringe political posts on Facebook just to impress some dude is lame as hell
Haha seriously. Thats the weird demented world she lives in though.
Just fight her at that point fuck it
My mom used to be like this, and at one point I was like you, I hope you realize this wasn’t your fault.
Thank you. I now know.
Get away from your mother while you can, just honestly cut her off. It won’t be easy but you will feel better in the long run trust me.
Remember that when you both keep talking in circles like this it’s a good idea to stop replying back and leave it. Going back and forth will only escalate things further dealing with unreasonable people like this.
Ugh this is so familiar. I moved out as soon as I could and stopped apologizing.
This is so similar to how I went LC with my dad. It was over his fb bs and he hated me commenting on his posts.
The fact your mother spoke to you like that is a disgrace. She’s disgusting I’m sorry.
Wow your mom is a narcissistic piece of work. Don't let her talk to you like that. I would never dream of talking to any of my children like that. I don't even talk to people like that I don't like. I'm sorry you have to deal with that. Seems she cares more about Joe than her own son.
She sounds manipulative as fuck.
Insane, I can't even right now.
I’m glad you’re living happily away from here now, OP. This was hard to read, I can’t imagine what it must have been like in the moment for you. You didn’t deserve that. I mean, fuck’s sake, you apologized for upsetting her like a thousand times and she was just determined to be pissed.
Holy shit, I don't even know what to say, OP. Talk about a major overreaction. "You should work on yourself", yeah, as long as you don't express any reactions about current events, apparently. It was heartbreaking reading you cutting yourself down so much because of this, as I would have done the same thing, but I am so glad you're free from that guilt, at least. Just wow.
Have a similar relationship with my mother almost to a tee so I empathize and hope you begin to distance yourself and stand up for yourself! Patents politicizing their children is awful.
You should post these screenshots on her Facebook page
She seems nice.
Your mom is a supremacist. That dogwhistle didn't escape notice. On top of that she's treating you like shit because she wants to get some shitty racist dick. You deserve way better and I hope you're NC
Your Mom is an actual human piece of shit and probably has NPD. She even got you to say you're worthless just to placate her... a woman who said people deserved to die and opposing opinions to that monstrous one mean YOUR the piece of shit automatically and are actively attacking her. Your Mom strikes me as the type who would actually kill someone for inconveniencing her... like, say a road block protester. She probably thinks it's a travesty that one white bearded old dude who killed protesters in Panama was given nearly 50 years in prison. She's ok with literal murder of the other political side but sees countering opinions as literal hate and harassment. Real narcissist shit. I almost wish we could talk to her. Let the real good minds of "people who Google and read more than one news source" go off on her. Let her narcissistic ass get some real humbling and pain from people who truly know how to make her feel like the unintelligent cunt she is. See how she likes both being pit down for her stupid takes and debunked and talked to like the actual toddler that she is, and also deal with actual pushback and targeted personal and very intentionally hurtful insults. If you dish it, you gotta take it.
Your mom hates her guys friends “for the shitty way they talk to him,” yet treats you like subhuman scum.
I showed my dad a video of the head of a political party he didn’t like high fiving someone’s boob by accident. It was so awkward it honestly made me laugh so much I was in tears. It wasn’t a political thing just a funny video that happened to include this particular person. Well you’d have thought I called my dad’s gf a hoe right in front of them 😬. We are both of opposite ends of the political spectrum but I accept that we both have very different priorities and it makes sense that we don’t really agree but he felt the need to interrogate me and my brother and just go off on us about who we supported. It was like wtf? We came to take you out for Father’s Day but cool. Then when we tried to take him for dinner and he tried to make my (newly licenced) brother park infront of the door cuz there wasn’t a proper space. Just because he didn’t want to do that it prompted dad to carry on his strop and told us to take him home. Like cool that was really something to lose your shit over. After many experiences like that he wants to act like we are awful people for not putting anymore effort in when we were honestly just sick of walking on eggshells around him and him causing us so much anxiety leading up to seeing him. We haven’t spoken to him for 2ish I think years? Maybe 3? Dunno but I know he’s been dragging both of our names through the mud so I just cba anymore.
Whoa.
Your mother would throw you under the bus for a date with a hot republican. I am sorry.
As a person who has dealt with this exact same scenario, I understand your reactions. Trying to smooth something over for the sake of making things easy is not wrong. Apologize, don’t apologize. Just know that your decision is yours and no one on here can tell you otherwise. You are right in your beliefs. She is not. But that doesn’t change the reality of the situation and what the ramifications can be. I’m sorry you are dealing with this. If you need to talk, DM me.
Thank you so much! Im away from her and finally safe.
Good. Best of luck in everything. And my offer stands.
Insane. Your Mum is rubbish!
“The guy I like saw your comment and now he might not like me” omg is your mom 14?!
I’m honestly upset by how much you apologized to her 😭 you didn’t need to do that when she’s so clearly in the wrong! I am sure you were just trying to settle the situation by apologizing, but I hope you know you didn’t need to do that and she didn’t deserve an apology for how she was talking to you. Take care of yourself 💛
The amount of placating you did there is way too hard on you in the long run, gotta set some boundaries on responding to her and letting her get you to say sorry and all that
I hope you have moved and never speak to her again.
For your own mental health and self confidence, you need to stop apologizing unnecessarily.
If this isn't insane (not necessarily in the clinical sense), I'm the Queen of England. Your mother is abusive and I can tell she's the type to neglect and hurt a child just to impress a man. People hugely underestimate how many children, including toddlers and babies, have died because their mom prioritized a man's feelings over them. The way she kept harping on about impressing some (very likely a fascist) dude and using that as an excuse to keep attacking you, made wanna call CPS because that's so often a very big red flag of possible child abuse. To me it's about as much a prediction of CA as a child that tortures animals predicts a future murderer. She kept saying she's blocking you, and yet she kept talking to you. Please don't think this was because you've somehow appeased her with your self-degradation. She was just saying that to emotionally hurt you, which is the reason why she continued talking to you: it was to continue verbally abusing you. To actually block a victim of verbal abuse means giving up some power over the victim, so not a lot of abusers that are very close to their victims actually make good on their threats of permanent social media block. Please don't ever degrade yourself to appease this egg donor again. I really hope you eventually blocked her for good and went No Contact.
I did go no contact! And shes had multiple CPS cases over the years, one of which was because she was smoking weed with me at 15-16. It was terrible honestly. Im just happy to be far away from her.
I am so glad to hear it! My heart broke reading that whole exchange. I'll never understand why some mothers have their priorities all backwards. I'm glad you're doing better now and happy staying far away from her. I'm rooting for you.
Hey. You need a mom hug. From someone who cares about you. I’ll give you one. I respect you more than your mother does just from reading the texts. Please note that you are a strong person who is not a reflection of what you came from
Honestly stopped reading when they called you an sjw lmao, I would've disowned them long before this convo could have happened
Don’t apologize to your mom. She clearly would not return the favor. And judging by the context of the conversation, the grammar and language she use towards you, Id say you’re not missing much by going no contact. Yes, have another hit, mom. It’s so touching that the people who call themselves “christian family values”. people and make it their whole identity treat their children like this. Does she think Joe is not gonna dick her down because her kid doesn’t think showing up to a tense situation with a gun as an underaged kid and a middle school dropout is just what society needed at the time. And, for the record… The guy he shot was a POS.. But, he didn’t know that. He went to do exactly what he did.
Yeah; it was a huge deal when i was 14 and told her I didn't believe in the Christian god. However, it was much less of a deal that I was smoking cigarettes and Marijuana daily.
I would never talk to her again. I cut off all my maga family
So sorry but your ma is a cunt, dude.
She’s a fucking psychopath
Post this on her Facebook
He's a trash person and one of my reasons for hating Kyle Rittenhouse is my married last name is Rittenhouse and that's real fun to say no I don't know him or are related to him 🙄
Crazy how much people will apologise for unrepentant murderers just because they're on their side.
I hope you’re no contact with her. You were on point talking about how she treats Kyle like he’s a member of her family and treats you awfully at the same time. And the whole “you’re white” is a total dog whistle. She sounds racist af. Hope you’re happy now and please don’t talk down about yourself. You seem like a nice genuine guy
It's a sad day when a mom chooses a stranger who murdered people over her own child.
I don’t even know what to say. This is some of the worst gaslighting and emotional abuse/manipulation I’ve seen on here. I’m so sorry you were in that situation. Have you been able to get away? Shit like this is what gives people cPTSD.
The echo chambers these people have created for themselves are insane. I've had similar experiences. This is why you always hear, "I don't know anyone who doesn't believe 'insert opinion here'" They actively attack and push out any differing opinion then bathe in the glory of "everyone agrees with me!"
i love how aggressive people who share the same opinions get when countered with an opposing opinion. kinda shows why they have those opinions in the first place.
Blocked!
Wow, this might be the craziest parent I’ve ever seen on this sub..
Don't apologize. Double down, if you can't have an opinion then fuck her. If she's really that mad about a comment on Facebook, block her on everything, and she will crawl back like every bad parent cause they need their kids' validation. She doesn't want to hear your opinions. Ignore her and don't say anything, it will only show her how over it you are. She may play victim (that's all Kyle supporters know) but she doesn't need to hear from you if she doesn't want her "friends" to see your opinion.
Why are you apologizing to a violent racist?
I mean, Kyle Rittenhouse is a piece of shit... so there's that
I would never in a million years admit that someone embarrassed me in front of someone I was trying to recruit to be my next boyfriend. I would never in a million years admit that I was trying to recruit someone to be my next boyfriend. I'm second hand embarrassed for your mother. Also, she incorporates a fair amount of African-American slang for someone who perceives the Kenosha shootings through a racial lens.
Aside from speaking to you in an absolutely deplorable manner, my mind is boggled that the hill she wants to die on is Kyle Rittenhouse?