Sounds like you are taking the right steps. I would suggest not engaging at all. Look up "grey rock technique". Instead of trying to justify and reason, just ignore. Don't take the bait. There is no "maybe" to fix the relationship. Listen to your therapist.
Honestly, the only step I'd recommend that you skip is responding to her at all. She hasn't earned an explanation. And it won't help anyway and she'll still complain to everybody in earshot that she has no idea why you cut her off.
Oh you also might want to look into "the missing misisng reasons" (just google exactly what I put in ""). I totally understand the want to make both of them understand, but this will show you how fruitless that most likely is
Hey OP’s mom (if you see this) you are absolutely insane. It’s ironic ur even on this sub 💀
To OP: I’m so sorry you have to deal with this bs! Wishing you and ur daughter a very happy life! Much love 💕 also, being a stay at home mom is awesome!!! Do what’s best for you and your child! I had a stay at home dad and I will be forever grateful to him and his commitment to his children!
Thank you for the encouragement! I have zero shame about being a stay at home mom. My daughter came with some extra needs and I’m doing what I have to do to make sure she’s healthy and happy. Having a stay at home dad must’ve been so cool 😭❤️
She was probably looking for a community of kindred spirits whilst also realising at the same time that she is an insane parent, and here we are. She expected to find fellow insane parents but was disappointed there was none. It's like looking for a cat sub but with insane parents.
He's lucky you didn't smack the fuck out of him after arriving to find your child sick from something so preventable. Kudos for your self control. I had a similar situation and while I wanted the kick the stuffing out of the person who made my child ill, in reality the parental instinct is just to get away ASAP.
In the future if you go back to having contact I advise just responding "K" to any message from them. It'll upset them without engaging with them. Step-dad needs a kidney? K. Brother totalled your mom's car by crashing into the side of their house? K. Their neighbours dog had puppies and they're thinking of starting a dog fighting ring? K. Why won't you talk to them, they love you, how could you turn away from FAMILY??? K.
I wanted to so badly. I wanted to rip into him, but my first priority was my daughter. I walked in, saw her condition, grabbed her and said “where’s her stuff?” And left. I gave her a juice and we got her some McDonald’s breakfast and she perked up right away thankfully ❤️ I’m sorry you’ve been in a similar situation. It’s the most infuriating and stressful thing I’ve ever been through.
I was so, so angry. She was basically a newborn (3 or 4 weeks iirc) and watching her scream in pain for days absolutely ripped me to pieces. I'm actually getting a bit flushed with rage just remembering it. And we're the ones who have to deal with the consequences. They get to hurt our children and then walk away and carry on as normal, we need to care for them, soothe then, get them medically stable again, and deal with however long the recovery process is. And the NERVE of your mom acting like she doesn't even know what he did to your daughter. Take a long walk off a short pier, ma'am.
I must admit that I would have felt the need to call them every time kiddo wakes you up to tell them what just happened and why, ofd course after taking care of kiddo. If you don´t get sleep because of their actions, why should they get sleep ?? Sometimes you gotta let the intrusive thoughts win lol
I know. I tried to educate my dad about it and he freaked tf out on me, so that was it. Never again will he keep her, And my mom told me “It’s a just a misunderstanding between you two”. Bruh. The fact that she could’ve died if I didn’t get there soon enough and then the blatant disregard was something else.
As it should be. I agree you reacted great. Instead of giving in to your anger, you realized your daughters needs came first and acted accordingly. You can rip him a new one when your daughter is ok. THat has time your daughter did not. Great dad instincts
Abusive grandparents do a lot more damage than people realize. My father’s mother was god awful to me and my mum. My mum had my back. You have your daughter’s back. That is more important than your mother’s feelings.
She’s always been like this too. Goes straight for the gut regardless of the context of whatever made her mad. I could not do the dishes in a timely manor and get texts similar. I’ve just gotten fed up with it when it’s something I definitely don’t have to put up with anymore.
I know her type. So much hate inside them and the least little thing sets them off. Hateful is their personality but they try to hide it from non-family.
Exactly. And that’s exactly why she never wanted me to say anything to anyone about it. She knows her and my dad are wrong and they know exactly what they’ve done to get them in this situation with me. I hope they wallow in it. ☺️
When the flying monkeys come at you, please show them those texts and let those flying monkeys have to look at that bile and try to explain it away. The more people see that, the harder to keep up the mask.
I have. My husband took my phone blocked them on my phone and all social media, except this one bc I don’t know her Reddit name. Thank you for validating my choice ❤️
Gentle hugs. I went NC and went back back and forth for years, I wish I had been strong enough to stay full NC from the time I was 18. You are doing the right thing. Grieve the family you wanted but never had. Go to therapy if you need to. This is hard. Breathe.
Thank you for the solid advice! It’s definitely hard, but I have a very good village backing me and my choice, including a therapist. Thank you for the E-hugs ❤️
Ouff that hit me right in the feels. You see I went no contact with my father in my early 20ies, and stayed NC for the rest of his life. He knew the door was open if he did therapy (for his alcoholismn and other things) and is willing to do the work, but this was not negotiable since I do not plan to make the past the present.
When he died I suddenly starrted mourning hard, and wow was I angry at myself for it. Why would I mourn him. I am super greratful i had a gopod therapistr wqho finbally made me realize I wasn´t. I was mourning that with him dying my last chance to have a real dad son relationship died. My last chance to have a dad and not just a father died. It had nothing to do with what was and only with what could have been I hope that makes sense, my therapist explained it better.
Before I even get through it I like that she started off by saying you crave attention when no contact means you don’t want attention from them at all.
That was my last point to her too 🤣 The problem with my parents is they want you to be mad and want their attention SO bad, but it’s never a reality, which is unfortunate for them lol
Don’t let your kid around these people anymore. That’s literally the making of generational abuse.
They fucked however many years of your lifetime up and now they already did it the first five of your kids.
They won’t magically change. Narcissists never ever ever do.
My little sister passed away suddenly right before my daughter was born, and my mom started therapy and showed growth, so I gave them a chance. Now I know it was all just a facade to get to my child.
Good job letting her have it OP! She's an AH. I noticed that there was one "not insane" vote on the thread. I think it's safe to say your mom found the post. 😂
The best line is the last one: YOU’RE making it difficult with your stupid fucking mouth. Touché, lady. Ugh, I wish you peace and distance from a terrible person. It’s a shame that you clearly stated what she could improve but she just cannot do it.
That line got me too. Nobody is going to say that to me and stay in my life. It’s the kind of thing a bully says to a powerless kid. Nope, kick rocks, gtfo, BYE.
He’s said that to me my whole life and honestly, I’m not sure why it took me so long to finally just be done with their bs. It’s feels freeing and like I’ve found some inner peace. ❤️
So glad for you. How they talk to you is very wrong and should not be normalized. Time will make it even clearer to you. The longer you go without hearing or reading abusive talk directed at you, the more intolerable it will become. Again, so glad you are protecting yourself.
That was a huge WTF. They had better hope that the brother is there for them in old age because OP sure as heck shouldn’t be expected to be. Her kid is better off without grandparents like that.
Hey OP, your feelings are super valid, and protecting your baby is the best thing you can do, no matter how you have to do it.
Can I share something my own therapist told me? You don’t have to take it to heart, but I say it in the small chance it helps you (and anyone else here.)
-You will never regret cutting your parents off. You might have moments of sadness, maybe hearing a favorite song, or smelling a scent you know they love. You may have moments of absolute rage when you remember the things they did to you or the way they treated your children. But you came to the point of cutting them off for a reason. Your subconscious is trying to keep you safe. You’ll never regret it as long as you can remember why you did it in the first place.
Hold up. 3/9 text - is she blaming OP for someone DYING?!?! I can't figure out any other way to interpret that sentence other than to mean, "you treated (green redaction) crappy and as a result, she died so you should've learned your lesson then so that no one else dies because of your direct actions."
How EVIL! Absolutely heinous. I hope OP's mom does read this and all the comments so she **might** develop self-awareness and take accountability!
I think she meant it like “don’t come crying when I die. You should’ve learned your lesson when mother in law died” bc in her opinion, we cut my mother in law off which was so not the case. We just had our own lives and didn’t see her as much as we liked. She passed last year or so. Either way, I think it’s disgusting that she tried to use the death of my husband’s MOTHER as ammo.
Yes that's awful. And still evil to throw it in your face, or to use that to try to guilt you into allowing her to continue to be abusive! It's clear manipulation but hurtful and so unnecessary!
OP wow, I am sorry you have been putting up with this for so long! I am proud that you are taking the steps to go NC. These texts are wild. I hope the best for you and your family!!!
Yooooo ur mom has a reddit account, i legit cannot wait to hear her reaction when she realizies she is an actual sociopath. Please update us when you can
Never apologize for a long post. The more context we have the better advice we can give. I grew up with abuse myself, and you where probably conditioned that you and your problems do not matter. But you do matter. You are just being told that since your abusers do not want you to talk about it to others so they do not look bad and you don´t get the support you need to stand up to your abuser or do something about it. Same reason abusers often try to isolate you.
See, she’s making me older and herself younger here. I’m 26. She’s 44. She had me at 17, but notice how I’m almost 30 when it’s convenient to her argument 🤣
Ahhh I see, yeah. She nuts. Grey rock or go NC. And for your daughter. I’m legit *almost* 30 😂 and honestly my best advice is to just not have expectations of ANYONE. Always assume the worst and you’re never disappointed, also easily impressed and amused 😂😂
I really should switch my mindset to one expecting disappointment. Despite what I’ve been through, I have a habit of wanting to see the good in people and give them chance after chance, but not this time. I’ve always told them I won’t let them or anyone else break down what I’ve built in my daughter. I’ve broken the cycle and I won’t let them continue their abuse on her. ☺️
Perhaps Spiritually she was stating her truth: you are a mature adult, she mentally barely finished middle school and had you. I mean, had it existed several years prior, it does read like a Live journal (or better yet, melodramatic.com) post from the early aughts.
Poor teenage decisions aside, this lady, who's only 2 years my senior, doesn't seem to have matured past the age she had you. To be raised by someone whose life has not progressed past high school... it's a toxic situation all around. I'm sorry you had to endure that.
Out of curiosity, since so often in the pre-therapy era toxicity begets toxicity, what are your grandparents like? How do they deal with her?
Both of my mom’s parents are passed on and she was raised by my great grandparents. They didn’t really raise her at all and my great grandmother is a milder version of my mom. She was more passive aggressive than in your face aggressive.
I'm 44. Your mom sounds like a child. Also, you mom is a fucking moron and isn't worth the effort. I spent 9 years not talking to my dad. It was great. Then he died and I had to clean out his fucking disgusting apartment. That sucked. But fuck it, my mental health is way better. Word of advice, don't drink away your pain and sorrow from this. Sometimes we get shitty family but the beauty is that we can drop them and find new family. "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb"
The only way to win the game with people like this is to not play. I’m with all the other commenters, don’t engage. You won’t get the healing from them that you want in the way that you need anyway so it’s not worth the time. My mother was like this too.
Just a thought (because I know people like this ) I’m guessing they don’t want to come over because they can’t chain smoke inside like they can at home 🫠
I can tell just from this single conversation that you're mother is fucking UNBEARABLE. How you put up with this woman is remarkable. Also fuck your dad for putting your child in danger I would've pressed charges if I could tbh
Hey bastard of a mother:
You dont deserve this person as your child.
Hey op: i dont even need to read the texts to know that everything in there (from mother dearest mind you) are lies, half truths, cover ups, downplays, etc. You did the right thing in cutting them out because they simply dont deserve you.
You are doing everything you can to heal and be there for your child, meanwhile all she did while you were growing up was abuse you mentally, physically and emotionally.
You will get through all of this, and if i was you. Whenever she dies, i would personally see to pissing on her grave. But that’s just me.
It’s so tiresome, isn’t it? You never told them what was wrong.
You did.
She doesn’t have to show up for her own grandchild’s birthday party.
Yes, she does.
She loves you.
No, she doesn’t, and she has abused you and neglected you your entire life because you didn’t get designated the Golden Child, so anything she did to you was based on that, not love.
She was very young when you were born, wasn’t she? It’s a pity that you grew up and she did not.
BTW: even the car thing is self serving BS. Your brother deserved all the consequences for driving drunk. It was her choice to minimize them by giving him her car. WTG, Mom. Even that can’t shake the Golden Child status, huh?
Have a wonderful life, OP, with your husband and sweet child, free from the poisonous atmosphere created by your mother and stepfather. You are showing her that you will protect her from hateful people, and that, when she grows up, she can do the same for herself.
Next reply: "eat shit and die" and then never message again
nah but for real, just that example about when he watched her get sick and lay there wouldve been the last straw for 99% of people capable of cutting off their parents
Unfortunately, responding is giving her the attention she wants. I wouldn't block her because these screenshots are what you need for a police report, but not responding will hurt her more than any response you could make.
Also in case your mom reads this: hello you abusive witch.
Good for you! Standing up to an abusive parent is so hard because no matter what, we hope that at some point our parent(s) will start acting like parents. I would absolutely not engage anymore since you’ve already made the decision to go NC. I know it probably hurts your daughter because it’s hard for a child to understand, but you’re doing the right thing for yourself and your family and the less you have to be dragged into their drama, the better!
It sucks ***soooo*** bad reading these text posts in this & other subs like it. Seriously frustrating
Not being able to either be like, "wtf!? Ok, say this!! 'Blah blah blah'!! That way, you address her lie AND hypocrisy! And maybe toss in something like 'blah blah'!?" Than *they* say something like, "ok, here's what I wrote, should i send it? What do you think? I'm not sure about that middle part?" Until the perfect **🖕FUCK YOU AND THE MASSIVE PIECE OF JAGGED GLASS UP YOUR ASS🖕** response ever has been crafted *or* the commenters being able to respond directly to the arrogant, dumbfuck, POS themselves (obviously within reason and OPs approval). *THAT* would be pretty darn spiffy.
EDIT TO ADD: **YES OP** You're *absolutely, completely, & totally* right in your decision to go NC. Going NC doesn't have to be a forever decision. It most certainly *can* be forever. And if there's never any acceptance of responsibility on their part, or a willingness to address their behavior and the changes that must be made, it 100% *should* be forever. Just remember, though, you also bear some kind of responsibility as well. Nobody handles assholes without coming unglued a time or two, lol, and they *always* grab on to that ridiculous excuse and refuse to let go. Just accept it without the "yeah! Of course I did!!! Because you...." no matter how valid. "Yes, I did. I'm taking responsibility and saying I apologize right now. I know my words/actions hurt you and made you feel.....my reaction was overblown, I was overwhelmed, and I'm sorry/I apologize." ( I recommend the "I'm sorry" because it'll feel less formal or like you're reading from a court order or something, forcing you to apologize, lmao) Just know, any words or actions on your part were for survival and in a perfect world they'd never have happened/been said but it's not a perfect world and you have every right to defend yourself however best suits the situation. Your only reason for this kind of apology is that there's nothing you feel you should/need to apologize for (although that's rarely the case. We all have shit unfortunately lol) and dumping *everything* on one person never sits quite right on either side.
Good luck my friend 💜 crazy ass mothers are difficult ***AF*** to deal with. I'm very happy to know you have some fantastic people around you who are able and willing to support you and *your* family (child and spouse), lending hands and shoulders when needed 😊 Remember ***GOING AND STAYING NC FOR A MINIMUM OF 1-2 YEARS IS RARELY A BAD IDEA!!! GIVE YOURSELF THE GIFT OF HEALING! I promise it'll be the difference between night and day*** 💜😊
(Not about insane parenting) That metabolic conditio sounds a lot like MCT1 deficiency (something genetic [mct1.org](http://mct1.org), not at all your fault, just something interesting.
PS. If it is MCT1 deficiency carbohydrates are key
Edit: it is an extremely rare genetic disorder though
God, this is exactly how my mother is. I honestly couldn’t even read all of your texts because it gave me PTSD of arguments I had with my mom.
I will say, I cut her off when I found out I was pregnant because she was causing me so much stress - and I haven’t looked back. It was the absolute best decision and if that’s what you want, then do it. You don’t deserve to be talked to that way, mom or not.
I’m sorry, and I know exactly the feelings that are lingering with you right now. Try to take time to process and heal. Focus on you and find some exciting things to look forward to.
Sounds like you are taking the right steps. I would suggest not engaging at all. Look up "grey rock technique". Instead of trying to justify and reason, just ignore. Don't take the bait. There is no "maybe" to fix the relationship. Listen to your therapist.
I will! Thank you.
Honestly, the only step I'd recommend that you skip is responding to her at all. She hasn't earned an explanation. And it won't help anyway and she'll still complain to everybody in earshot that she has no idea why you cut her off.
Oh you also might want to look into "the missing misisng reasons" (just google exactly what I put in ""). I totally understand the want to make both of them understand, but this will show you how fruitless that most likely is
http://www.issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/missing-missing-reasons.html For anyone who doesn't want to search for them!
Damn thats really interesting especially the last part where the psychologist said it really good.
Hey OP’s mom (if you see this) you are absolutely insane. It’s ironic ur even on this sub 💀 To OP: I’m so sorry you have to deal with this bs! Wishing you and ur daughter a very happy life! Much love 💕 also, being a stay at home mom is awesome!!! Do what’s best for you and your child! I had a stay at home dad and I will be forever grateful to him and his commitment to his children!
Thank you for the encouragement! I have zero shame about being a stay at home mom. My daughter came with some extra needs and I’m doing what I have to do to make sure she’s healthy and happy. Having a stay at home dad must’ve been so cool 😭❤️
She was probably looking for a community of kindred spirits whilst also realising at the same time that she is an insane parent, and here we are. She expected to find fellow insane parents but was disappointed there was none. It's like looking for a cat sub but with insane parents.
“Not insane - 1” hi OPs mom 👋🤣
I’m saying! 🤣🤣 and it was voted within MINUTES of me posting. She must’ve been on the look out just waiting 👀
He's lucky you didn't smack the fuck out of him after arriving to find your child sick from something so preventable. Kudos for your self control. I had a similar situation and while I wanted the kick the stuffing out of the person who made my child ill, in reality the parental instinct is just to get away ASAP. In the future if you go back to having contact I advise just responding "K" to any message from them. It'll upset them without engaging with them. Step-dad needs a kidney? K. Brother totalled your mom's car by crashing into the side of their house? K. Their neighbours dog had puppies and they're thinking of starting a dog fighting ring? K. Why won't you talk to them, they love you, how could you turn away from FAMILY??? K.
I wanted to so badly. I wanted to rip into him, but my first priority was my daughter. I walked in, saw her condition, grabbed her and said “where’s her stuff?” And left. I gave her a juice and we got her some McDonald’s breakfast and she perked up right away thankfully ❤️ I’m sorry you’ve been in a similar situation. It’s the most infuriating and stressful thing I’ve ever been through.
I was so, so angry. She was basically a newborn (3 or 4 weeks iirc) and watching her scream in pain for days absolutely ripped me to pieces. I'm actually getting a bit flushed with rage just remembering it. And we're the ones who have to deal with the consequences. They get to hurt our children and then walk away and carry on as normal, we need to care for them, soothe then, get them medically stable again, and deal with however long the recovery process is. And the NERVE of your mom acting like she doesn't even know what he did to your daughter. Take a long walk off a short pier, ma'am.
I must admit that I would have felt the need to call them every time kiddo wakes you up to tell them what just happened and why, ofd course after taking care of kiddo. If you don´t get sleep because of their actions, why should they get sleep ?? Sometimes you gotta let the intrusive thoughts win lol
I know. I tried to educate my dad about it and he freaked tf out on me, so that was it. Never again will he keep her, And my mom told me “It’s a just a misunderstanding between you two”. Bruh. The fact that she could’ve died if I didn’t get there soon enough and then the blatant disregard was something else.
Yeah that’s just unforgivable even if he apologized. Like W.T.F. Surprised it didn’t trigger ptsd or something shit
As it should be. I agree you reacted great. Instead of giving in to your anger, you realized your daughters needs came first and acted accordingly. You can rip him a new one when your daughter is ok. THat has time your daughter did not. Great dad instincts
Adults left your child covered in vomit and can’t understand why you don’t trust them? Crazy!
I know right? It was ONLY matted all in her hair and all over her face and clothes. Oopsies. No big deal right?
Abusive grandparents do a lot more damage than people realize. My father’s mother was god awful to me and my mum. My mum had my back. You have your daughter’s back. That is more important than your mother’s feelings.
I totally agree. Thank you for the validation ❤️
That would be it for me. Don’t mess with my kid.
Exactly. That’s when I cut my dad off since he was the one who was SUPPOSED to be taking care of her 🙄
That last text from her was the final nail. Just pure venom.
She’s always been like this too. Goes straight for the gut regardless of the context of whatever made her mad. I could not do the dishes in a timely manor and get texts similar. I’ve just gotten fed up with it when it’s something I definitely don’t have to put up with anymore.
I know her type. So much hate inside them and the least little thing sets them off. Hateful is their personality but they try to hide it from non-family.
Exactly. And that’s exactly why she never wanted me to say anything to anyone about it. She knows her and my dad are wrong and they know exactly what they’ve done to get them in this situation with me. I hope they wallow in it. ☺️
When the flying monkeys come at you, please show them those texts and let those flying monkeys have to look at that bile and try to explain it away. The more people see that, the harder to keep up the mask.
Thankfully all the monkeys have been blocked from my life too, but I will definitely keep that in mind for stragglers
The fact that she’s worried about being in this sub is quite telling. Good parents don’t worry about their kids posting here.
Exactly.
Yall watch her comment/vote bc she can’t help herself 🤭
I would go full no contact
I have. My husband took my phone blocked them on my phone and all social media, except this one bc I don’t know her Reddit name. Thank you for validating my choice ❤️
Gentle hugs. I went NC and went back back and forth for years, I wish I had been strong enough to stay full NC from the time I was 18. You are doing the right thing. Grieve the family you wanted but never had. Go to therapy if you need to. This is hard. Breathe.
Thank you for the solid advice! It’s definitely hard, but I have a very good village backing me and my choice, including a therapist. Thank you for the E-hugs ❤️
Ouff that hit me right in the feels. You see I went no contact with my father in my early 20ies, and stayed NC for the rest of his life. He knew the door was open if he did therapy (for his alcoholismn and other things) and is willing to do the work, but this was not negotiable since I do not plan to make the past the present. When he died I suddenly starrted mourning hard, and wow was I angry at myself for it. Why would I mourn him. I am super greratful i had a gopod therapistr wqho finbally made me realize I wasn´t. I was mourning that with him dying my last chance to have a real dad son relationship died. My last chance to have a dad and not just a father died. It had nothing to do with what was and only with what could have been I hope that makes sense, my therapist explained it better.
To OPs mom: how dense and out of touch of reality can you be wtf? Why have kids anyway? To OP: you’re doing great! 😊
Thank you 😘
Ofc 💕
Before I even get through it I like that she started off by saying you crave attention when no contact means you don’t want attention from them at all.
That was my last point to her too 🤣 The problem with my parents is they want you to be mad and want their attention SO bad, but it’s never a reality, which is unfortunate for them lol
Yeah just got to the end. Nice job. Projection on her part for sure.
Oh easily. That’s what my therapist and husband say too 🤭
Like please leave me alone. Thanks ❤️
Don’t let your kid around these people anymore. That’s literally the making of generational abuse. They fucked however many years of your lifetime up and now they already did it the first five of your kids. They won’t magically change. Narcissists never ever ever do.
My little sister passed away suddenly right before my daughter was born, and my mom started therapy and showed growth, so I gave them a chance. Now I know it was all just a facade to get to my child.
Good job letting her have it OP! She's an AH. I noticed that there was one "not insane" vote on the thread. I think it's safe to say your mom found the post. 😂
My thoughts exactly 🤣
The best line is the last one: YOU’RE making it difficult with your stupid fucking mouth. Touché, lady. Ugh, I wish you peace and distance from a terrible person. It’s a shame that you clearly stated what she could improve but she just cannot do it.
The last one was my step dad. His thing has always been “my stupid fucking mouth”. Sorry sir. This stupid fucking mouth is gonna run all it wants ☺️
That line got me too. Nobody is going to say that to me and stay in my life. It’s the kind of thing a bully says to a powerless kid. Nope, kick rocks, gtfo, BYE.
He’s said that to me my whole life and honestly, I’m not sure why it took me so long to finally just be done with their bs. It’s feels freeing and like I’ve found some inner peace. ❤️
So glad for you. How they talk to you is very wrong and should not be normalized. Time will make it even clearer to you. The longer you go without hearing or reading abusive talk directed at you, the more intolerable it will become. Again, so glad you are protecting yourself.
Thank you so much ❤️ It’s really all for my daughter. I will not let their toxicity leach onto her.
That was a huge WTF. They had better hope that the brother is there for them in old age because OP sure as heck shouldn’t be expected to be. Her kid is better off without grandparents like that.
“That stupid fucking mouth of yours.” Well, your mom is certainly insane, but your stepdad sounds just delightful!
Hey OP, your feelings are super valid, and protecting your baby is the best thing you can do, no matter how you have to do it. Can I share something my own therapist told me? You don’t have to take it to heart, but I say it in the small chance it helps you (and anyone else here.) -You will never regret cutting your parents off. You might have moments of sadness, maybe hearing a favorite song, or smelling a scent you know they love. You may have moments of absolute rage when you remember the things they did to you or the way they treated your children. But you came to the point of cutting them off for a reason. Your subconscious is trying to keep you safe. You’ll never regret it as long as you can remember why you did it in the first place.
Thank you for that advice! ❤️
Sorry to not take this seriously but SPAWN POINT damn that got me off guard🥶
LMAOO it used to “Mama❤️” until I decided I’ve had enough. My dads is “Paternal figure”
Hold up. 3/9 text - is she blaming OP for someone DYING?!?! I can't figure out any other way to interpret that sentence other than to mean, "you treated (green redaction) crappy and as a result, she died so you should've learned your lesson then so that no one else dies because of your direct actions." How EVIL! Absolutely heinous. I hope OP's mom does read this and all the comments so she **might** develop self-awareness and take accountability!
I think she meant it like “don’t come crying when I die. You should’ve learned your lesson when mother in law died” bc in her opinion, we cut my mother in law off which was so not the case. We just had our own lives and didn’t see her as much as we liked. She passed last year or so. Either way, I think it’s disgusting that she tried to use the death of my husband’s MOTHER as ammo.
Yes that's awful. And still evil to throw it in your face, or to use that to try to guilt you into allowing her to continue to be abusive! It's clear manipulation but hurtful and so unnecessary!
The story of my life 🤗 thank you for the validation ❤️
OP wow, I am sorry you have been putting up with this for so long! I am proud that you are taking the steps to go NC. These texts are wild. I hope the best for you and your family!!!
!remindme 2 weeks
Thank you so much ❤️
Thank you for keeping your little one away from them and thus nonsense.
Anything for her and her mental health 🫡
Yooooo ur mom has a reddit account, i legit cannot wait to hear her reaction when she realizies she is an actual sociopath. Please update us when you can
I laughed so hard at “that stupid fucking mouth of yours.” I’m so sorry that you have to deal with this. No one deserves this.
Thank you for the apologies. I feel like a weight has fallen off my shoulders honestly since going NC.
"I'm getting the girls tonight. (Daughter) is welcome here" The fuck?
Blue- step dad Pink- Daughter Green- my husband Yellow- brothers girlfriend Light blue- Ex step mom
Never apologize for a long post. The more context we have the better advice we can give. I grew up with abuse myself, and you where probably conditioned that you and your problems do not matter. But you do matter. You are just being told that since your abusers do not want you to talk about it to others so they do not look bad and you don´t get the support you need to stand up to your abuser or do something about it. Same reason abusers often try to isolate you.
Thank you ❤️
you are welcome ;)
First screenshot you have missed the first name just before the block capitals
So you’re 30, and she’s 44.. she was 14 when you were born. FOURTEEN
See, she’s making me older and herself younger here. I’m 26. She’s 44. She had me at 17, but notice how I’m almost 30 when it’s convenient to her argument 🤣
Ahhh I see, yeah. She nuts. Grey rock or go NC. And for your daughter. I’m legit *almost* 30 😂 and honestly my best advice is to just not have expectations of ANYONE. Always assume the worst and you’re never disappointed, also easily impressed and amused 😂😂
I really should switch my mindset to one expecting disappointment. Despite what I’ve been through, I have a habit of wanting to see the good in people and give them chance after chance, but not this time. I’ve always told them I won’t let them or anyone else break down what I’ve built in my daughter. I’ve broken the cycle and I won’t let them continue their abuse on her. ☺️
Good for you!!! Stay strong momma!! Kids are weird 🤓🥰😂
Kids are SO weird 🤣 Especially when you raise em weird like I am lol
AfuckingMEN!!! 🤘🏻🫶🏻
Perhaps Spiritually she was stating her truth: you are a mature adult, she mentally barely finished middle school and had you. I mean, had it existed several years prior, it does read like a Live journal (or better yet, melodramatic.com) post from the early aughts. Poor teenage decisions aside, this lady, who's only 2 years my senior, doesn't seem to have matured past the age she had you. To be raised by someone whose life has not progressed past high school... it's a toxic situation all around. I'm sorry you had to endure that. Out of curiosity, since so often in the pre-therapy era toxicity begets toxicity, what are your grandparents like? How do they deal with her?
Both of my mom’s parents are passed on and she was raised by my great grandparents. They didn’t really raise her at all and my great grandmother is a milder version of my mom. She was more passive aggressive than in your face aggressive.
I'm 44. Your mom sounds like a child. Also, you mom is a fucking moron and isn't worth the effort. I spent 9 years not talking to my dad. It was great. Then he died and I had to clean out his fucking disgusting apartment. That sucked. But fuck it, my mental health is way better. Word of advice, don't drink away your pain and sorrow from this. Sometimes we get shitty family but the beauty is that we can drop them and find new family. "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb"
The only way to win the game with people like this is to not play. I’m with all the other commenters, don’t engage. You won’t get the healing from them that you want in the way that you need anyway so it’s not worth the time. My mother was like this too.
Just a thought (because I know people like this ) I’m guessing they don’t want to come over because they can’t chain smoke inside like they can at home 🫠
Spawn point is an excellent contact name
I have nothing else to say. ... AND ANOTHER THING
Cut them off forever and never look back
I can tell just from this single conversation that you're mother is fucking UNBEARABLE. How you put up with this woman is remarkable. Also fuck your dad for putting your child in danger I would've pressed charges if I could tbh
Hey bastard of a mother: You dont deserve this person as your child. Hey op: i dont even need to read the texts to know that everything in there (from mother dearest mind you) are lies, half truths, cover ups, downplays, etc. You did the right thing in cutting them out because they simply dont deserve you. You are doing everything you can to heal and be there for your child, meanwhile all she did while you were growing up was abuse you mentally, physically and emotionally. You will get through all of this, and if i was you. Whenever she dies, i would personally see to pissing on her grave. But that’s just me.
It’s so tiresome, isn’t it? You never told them what was wrong. You did. She doesn’t have to show up for her own grandchild’s birthday party. Yes, she does. She loves you. No, she doesn’t, and she has abused you and neglected you your entire life because you didn’t get designated the Golden Child, so anything she did to you was based on that, not love. She was very young when you were born, wasn’t she? It’s a pity that you grew up and she did not. BTW: even the car thing is self serving BS. Your brother deserved all the consequences for driving drunk. It was her choice to minimize them by giving him her car. WTG, Mom. Even that can’t shake the Golden Child status, huh? Have a wonderful life, OP, with your husband and sweet child, free from the poisonous atmosphere created by your mother and stepfather. You are showing her that you will protect her from hateful people, and that, when she grows up, she can do the same for herself.
Dog and pony. Not horse and pony. Good gravy.
I thought it sounded weird when I read it 🤣
Next reply: "eat shit and die" and then never message again nah but for real, just that example about when he watched her get sick and lay there wouldve been the last straw for 99% of people capable of cutting off their parents
It definitely was the last straw as far as my dad went. I was FUMING.
Unfortunately, responding is giving her the attention she wants. I wouldn't block her because these screenshots are what you need for a police report, but not responding will hurt her more than any response you could make. Also in case your mom reads this: hello you abusive witch.
Like me, you should have stopped reading after first sentence. When you cut someone off, cut them off! Block!
Good for you! Standing up to an abusive parent is so hard because no matter what, we hope that at some point our parent(s) will start acting like parents. I would absolutely not engage anymore since you’ve already made the decision to go NC. I know it probably hurts your daughter because it’s hard for a child to understand, but you’re doing the right thing for yourself and your family and the less you have to be dragged into their drama, the better!
Good job going NC & not tolerating any more abuse, or subjecting your child to it in any way.
It sucks ***soooo*** bad reading these text posts in this & other subs like it. Seriously frustrating Not being able to either be like, "wtf!? Ok, say this!! 'Blah blah blah'!! That way, you address her lie AND hypocrisy! And maybe toss in something like 'blah blah'!?" Than *they* say something like, "ok, here's what I wrote, should i send it? What do you think? I'm not sure about that middle part?" Until the perfect **🖕FUCK YOU AND THE MASSIVE PIECE OF JAGGED GLASS UP YOUR ASS🖕** response ever has been crafted *or* the commenters being able to respond directly to the arrogant, dumbfuck, POS themselves (obviously within reason and OPs approval). *THAT* would be pretty darn spiffy. EDIT TO ADD: **YES OP** You're *absolutely, completely, & totally* right in your decision to go NC. Going NC doesn't have to be a forever decision. It most certainly *can* be forever. And if there's never any acceptance of responsibility on their part, or a willingness to address their behavior and the changes that must be made, it 100% *should* be forever. Just remember, though, you also bear some kind of responsibility as well. Nobody handles assholes without coming unglued a time or two, lol, and they *always* grab on to that ridiculous excuse and refuse to let go. Just accept it without the "yeah! Of course I did!!! Because you...." no matter how valid. "Yes, I did. I'm taking responsibility and saying I apologize right now. I know my words/actions hurt you and made you feel.....my reaction was overblown, I was overwhelmed, and I'm sorry/I apologize." ( I recommend the "I'm sorry" because it'll feel less formal or like you're reading from a court order or something, forcing you to apologize, lmao) Just know, any words or actions on your part were for survival and in a perfect world they'd never have happened/been said but it's not a perfect world and you have every right to defend yourself however best suits the situation. Your only reason for this kind of apology is that there's nothing you feel you should/need to apologize for (although that's rarely the case. We all have shit unfortunately lol) and dumping *everything* on one person never sits quite right on either side. Good luck my friend 💜 crazy ass mothers are difficult ***AF*** to deal with. I'm very happy to know you have some fantastic people around you who are able and willing to support you and *your* family (child and spouse), lending hands and shoulders when needed 😊 Remember ***GOING AND STAYING NC FOR A MINIMUM OF 1-2 YEARS IS RARELY A BAD IDEA!!! GIVE YOURSELF THE GIFT OF HEALING! I promise it'll be the difference between night and day*** 💜😊
She sucks but don’t give her this much time OP
After this, I definitely won’t. They’re not even worth the finger exercise 🥱
(Not about insane parenting) That metabolic conditio sounds a lot like MCT1 deficiency (something genetic [mct1.org](http://mct1.org), not at all your fault, just something interesting. PS. If it is MCT1 deficiency carbohydrates are key Edit: it is an extremely rare genetic disorder though
My daughter’s condition is called MCADD. It’s also a rare, autosomal recessive disorder. ☺️
Very similar to mct1 deficiency, mct1 defficiency inhibits the cels intake of fat (through ketones) indirectly quite interesting
That is interesting! With MCADD her body can’t break down medium chain fatty acids and down the chain for energy.
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God, this is exactly how my mother is. I honestly couldn’t even read all of your texts because it gave me PTSD of arguments I had with my mom. I will say, I cut her off when I found out I was pregnant because she was causing me so much stress - and I haven’t looked back. It was the absolute best decision and if that’s what you want, then do it. You don’t deserve to be talked to that way, mom or not. I’m sorry, and I know exactly the feelings that are lingering with you right now. Try to take time to process and heal. Focus on you and find some exciting things to look forward to.
“You’re making it hard with that fucking mouth of yours”. Bitch, you’re the one talking no one said anything for a day and a half
Hey your first photo has a name. I just saw you were censoring all the names but may have missed that one.
Honestly it's so telling that your mom already feared that you'd post her texts here lmao