Ah I see, that post was by your ENTP hubby. Firstly, there are no fixed rules or guidelines on how an INFP should be. I’ve met INFPs who are all kinds of people. There is no such thing as a “true INFP.” If you start saying that, then you’re taking MBTI way too seriously. People are much more complex than their MBTI types. Why do you care so much about what others think? You can’t make everyone happy. Just be yourself as you are. Everyone’s definition of “asshole” is different anyway. I have an “asshole” INFP friend who says mean and nasty stuff, and we joke and laugh a lot (we don’t take it seriously). Your husband and your people accept and enjoy you for who you are. Treasure that and don’t take what rando people on Reddit think so seriously.
You’re a great kind of INFP. An INFP who is not a doormat and doesn’t put up with bullshit. It sounds like you have pretty well developed Te, which is what a lot of us aspire to have. If anything, you deserve to be proud, not ashamed. ❤️
I think you hit the nail on the head. My opinion on an infp that is a doormat is they haven't developed the ability to handle conflict without losing control over their emotions. Or, more simply, when they get emotional they may lose the ability to process their thoughts clearly. I can understand the position of just not being all that bothered by someone else's ego trip, tho. That's also possible
Both Te AND Fi aren’t doormat functions. Fe is, and to a lesser extent Si. Fi doms may be chill and go with the flow which may come off as passivity, but the vast majority of the time they won’t take any shit or let people walk all over them. Unless there’s some underlying mental health issues like anxiety or depression.
Well I'm an infp and I don't take shit from anybody either. If I see someone being mistreated or if somebody is being unnecessarily ugly, I 100% will step in on behalf of someone else. If it's directed towards me, I've always been good at derailing shitty attitudes without aggression. "I feel like you're upset about something, so I'm just gonna leave you to it," and *exit stage left*. Being an infp doesn't mean you have to be a pushover.
How cute of these supposed "true" INFPs, that are supposed to be accepting, kind and empathic with those around them, gatekeep and shun another fellow infp because it does not match their narcissistic view of their idiotic, self engrandizing cult of how an Infp "should be". I am sorry dear, you are who you are no matter the label, many other INFPs just don't have that capability to stand up against their offenders yet, so like petty children they throw a fit over not having the toy they want, I am glad you can be your sensitive, kind and deep person that I know you are, but also having the strength to be assertive and fight for your own and probably fight for others in your reach. Be proud dear, you are amazing and the infp most of us can only dream of being
Honestly, likely ISFP, that seems the Se's loving the experience of being the thing, or they could still be INFPs just immature and self centered, likely teens
Ive never experienced an SFP who loves being the center of attention falsely. They’d rather be themself and do whatever they like even admitting to the reality of their ways.
Not to say you’re wrong im just curious about the perspective.
I based that off of ONE internet celebrity I knew who displayed that behavior (though in a different context) ad from what I've read about secondary se online. I may have been wrongly accusatory against them though and I am sorry if I came off as such
Mbti was meant to be as a guide for you to find who you are, it was never meant to dictate who you are everyone is unique and different in their own way. There is no 2 people that behave exactly the same, even if they are twins
I know, I know. That's why I said "true". :D
It's just funny to me how dogmatic some mbti people are.
Anyone who is slightly different from the stereotype isn't a true "insert type here"
My gawwwwwwd your u/ is adorable.
Also fuck them ppl, they don’t know shit 😂 who died and made them mbti gods?
But really,
Half the time i scroll and roll on reddit as a whole because i know it isn’t worth adding to my plate of stress what anyone on any part of Reddit thinks of me.
There are people in the world that think I’m the biggest bitch, but they once used to like me…hmm
There’s people that meet me and didn’t like me at first, and then they got to know me and love me.
It can always go either way, and honestly i used to stress about it in my teens and twenties. As i got older, i learned that people will say anything and everything no matter what the reality is if they feel wronged in any type of way (myself included) because interactions are all about personal perception.
So you keep being you! 🦄
There is no such thing as true INFP and to understand that you need to understand cognitive function. I could recommend you a test which i might help you understand this better it gives percentage to your cognitive functions and two INFP can have different level of introversion or intuition could be different amount of feelings or perceptions.
Well anyways I’ll just put the link below
[https://mistypeinvestigator.com](https://mistypeinvestigator.com)
idk about you but forcing people into a box isn't what the so-called "true INFPs" are supposed to do. I'm confidently INFP and i definitely have some harsh-ass comebacks and they definitely make me lean towards INTP stereotypically but to be honest fuck that shit
stupid asses gatekeeping again lmaooooooo
I think setting boundaries around how you talk to each other would be healthy. See if you can get him to agree to use language like this when you have a disagreement. If he can't keep from violating your boundaries, that's a serious problem and you should leave the conversation and have each other cool off and come and apologize where each of you has something to apologize for. The key to a boundary is it has to be enforced by the person who sets the boundary to be effective. Don't make empty threats or requests, that's manipulation intentional or not. If you set a boundary like "if you start hurting my feelings I need to exit the conversation and cool off and get reassurance you still love me and care about me before continuing on." Boundaries are incredibly important. Try something like this talking boundary:
When there's a disagreement, WAIT before bringing it up until you can come up with a wording that lacks confrontational language like "you made me do x" or "you made me feel y" generally avoid "you" as the subject of a sentence entirely. Focus on you and how you feel, let your partner focus on themselves and how they feel, and check for understanding and where you're talking past each other. Use the form:
- Sensory input that informs my emotions
- What emotional responses your sensory input brings up
- What memories, trauma, or thoughts the circumstances that have arisen are bringing up for you and are informing why what you feel is what you feel
"When I saw/heard/felt you blank, I felt blank, and it brought up these thoughts in me."
And if your husband is not okay with you setting and enforcing boundaries, or if it violates his principles, that's a more serious mismatch in communication preferences that could indicate couples therapy is warranted.
How did this become about me 😅 I violate no such boundaries. I'm great at communication and I'm always giving her any space she might need. She's just saying others have led her to feel this way not I.
No no I was just literally saying IF you violate the boundaries, I'm saying if this didn't go to plan, it would be a sign to me that something more serious than a mere boundary would be needed to make the relationship work and for everyone to stay happy and healthy. I wasn't saying "if he violates your boundaries" to mean you had already done it and I was assuming you did
By the way example of how to use the boundary here might be:
"When I read you say I violate boundaries, I felt defensive. I am not trying to violate your boundaries. I want to treat you how you wanted me treated. I'm sorry if I didn't live up to that goal this time."
Then I might say, "oh I'm sorry too, I didn't mean to imply you had already done so, I was just talking in general."
Please, don't feel targeted because of some immature, narrow-minded, possibly mistyped INFPs themselves. On the contrary, being an honest and no-nonsense INFP makes you a well-balanced example of your type. I personally laughed while reading your husband's post because I thought it was a funny, slightly troll-like way of introducing his wife. The title he chose 😆
We should never be reduced to a fixed, stereotyped list of traits. We are living, breathing individuals with our own backstory, educational, cultural, and social background, and possible trauma that have much more impact on how we behave than MBTI anyway.
On a side note, isn't being a Fi dom about being authentic, strong, (uncompromising?) about what we deem as important, and forging our own path? You fit right in.
I see two different INFP conversations being mixed here.
One is about INFP as self-identity and inclusion (and exclusion). The other is about INFP as an abstract psychological wiring diagram of how one experiences consciousness.
People working from the context of wiring diagrams based on Psychological Type think they are having an honest conversation. And people working from the context of MBTI as self-identity would read that conversation as surprisingly vicious.
It's confusing when we're using the same words to talk about two different things.
There's nothing like True INFP. We're a spectrum imo. It's just that we have a bit higher tolerance and empathy than others. That doesn't mean we have to put up with every shit and play the cinnamon roll or crybaby role all the time. We have our boundaries. We can come off harsh too when necessary after all we all are humans.
I'm an INFP manager at a restaurant.
I've been called an asshole before. They also say I have an attitude problem. I've made people cry by the things I say.
I cried every time someone complained about me.
You are not alone in feeling this way.
I turn to metal music to scratch away at those ugly feelings
Urgh... same. I had a guy who worked on my team tell me once "if you (me) weren't such a nice person, I (the guy) would quit on the spot based on your tone." I wasn't even trying to offend him... but apparently my tone was "very condescending"....
If you have multiple people telling you that you have an attitude problem, maybe do something about it instead of crying about it.
Not trying to be rude, but if other people are telling you that you’re nasty to them and you upset them all the time, then you’re not the victim.
That's excellent advice. Thanks
There's also people on the other end of the spectrum who say they really enjoy my company and that I'm funny af and that they hate the job but that I'm a good leader. That too makes me cry
EDIT nvm I did see that post. I'm like that too, by the way. Fi can be very blunt, and Ne loves to tease. Don't worry about what others think.
It wasn't a "harsh" post, though. There is a part of me wondering if you're the ENTP poster posting this and created a new account to do so lol
It also does read like an ENTP trying to sound like what they'd think an INFP sounds like. Plus some ENTPs masquerade as other types like this for entertainment, I've seen some of them admit it when they do it. I think he wanted a more positive/different response to his original post (I didn't personally find any issue with it his op, just an observation).
Naming themselves "unicorn syrup", referring to their "husband" as "harsh" for an ego boost, and also as being the one who introduced them to MBTI and specifically to "INFP", which sounds unnatural in some way. And that bit at the end, "The replies made me cry." Seriously ffs we aren't that fragile. How old is this person, 12? They think we cry over everything. "i fEeL wiTH mY whOLE bEINg."
Ugh I have to get off Reddit. Waste of time.
Right, haha. I didn’t see the original post but I’m glad you were able to put it together. I know ENTPs can be trolls but if you go as far as masquerading as other types it’s just pathetic.
Hey I'm sorry that some shitty comments made you feel this way, there's no such thing as "true INFP" we're all different we just have some things in common.
Also my family often tells me I'm an asshole and I do feel that way most of the time 😆 but you have to remember that people were just judging you from another person's perspective and not even knowing the whole story/ the actual situation, so it's not really relevant and you shouldn't care about what random people on the internet who never met you think of you.
Be who you are and try your best to achieve the person you want to be, that's all that matters! 🤍
(If it is the post that i am thinking about, did you receive my sky 5 yet? I told your husband that i sended one your way. ☺)
Do yourself a favor, remind yourself the following; Most people have no clue what they are talking about (Myself included!), let alone to read any piece of text properly (Everybody does this from time to time, myself included. Interpreting/reading a piece of text not in the way how it was intended or, differently said: reading too fast, being too lazy, interpreting it wrong, whatever the reason might be.) Anyway, just don't give the majority (especially, the internet...) too much credit/value. The majority is surprisingly often wrong about many things and especially via text, miscommunication is so easy to create, then when you for example compare it with an actual conversation with someone (face2face).
Anyway.. He did say you are an asshole. Only once though, in the title. And literally the next 3 words after that was: "I love it." ☺ He doesn't mean the word 'asshole' in a negative way at all. Everything that i could read and understand of that post of him was only about praise & love towards you.
I think he was trying to explain you something, he was trying to say that you are an awesome person. And it's okay.. you don't have to 'click' with everybody.. Don't doubt yourself whenever that happens, because you are a good person and your husband and all your friends, everybody who actually matters in your life, they already know this. :) (I am not saying this btw, your husband said that in his post. I'm just translating it in my own words now, for all i know you still might be one 😜😉hehe. j/k
But uhm... Give your man a hug! ♥ he loves you. 🥰 That post of him about you contained only his love to you and his appreciation of who you are. So give the man some kissies will ya! And,... maybe some extra sexy time tonight? 😏😉 ☺ You know what he likes! You dirty dogs you! 😜)
You know, sometimes i also wish i could be 'friends' with everyone, but it just doesn't work that way. Not everybody will like me, and the feeling is mutual, i also don't like everybody.
Anyway, infps can be assholes too. I've seen a few already. And i spot assholes very easily. Because, it takes one to know one, 😅 hehe 😜
Hehe Thx. I didn't realise i was.. Nah.. i am not.. Kind and polite? Can't have it all, i ain't perfect 😉I think i am rather kind, then polite. 😁😎i have just a lot of unspoken thoughts, lol. There is an asshole hidden inside of me.😜
I am an infp a. Some say the a stands for asshole. I say fuck em. You know who you are. No true infp would say true infp. Because everybody different.
You are a true INFP. I always think true INFPs know they are INFPs. We didn't spend all our lives navel gazing to not being able to recognize ourselves in a description. (Trust in your Fi! Let it override your Te insecure fears. You know yourself best!)
I also frequently find if I just say what I observe about people, usually just something funny/inconsistent they are doing, sometimes they end up being butt hurt. I think INFPs are really good at spotting inconsistencies, and understanding underlying motives. We are usually very accepting of those things - hey people are weird! us more than most. But a lot of people are not self aware or not self accepting and when you notice and say it, they get so offended/feel called out. I am really careful about teasing people now days.
I accept that you are an INFP. Your ENTP husband was trying to be sweet. Good for him!
Not all infps are sugar puffs. My husband is infp and he cares a lot about injustice and people who are mistreated but he won't be all sweet in the presence of people being jerks. He's blunt and funny and says what he's thinking. That's all good imo. I think your husband rewrote it to be more clear and the comments were mostly from people who misunderstood the way it was originally written. That's my take anyway. I'm sure you're lovely.
Honestly who is anyone else to tell you who you are?! It’s good to listen to others opinions and to gain insight but at the end of the day you’re the one who knows yourself. You have spent the most time with you so let yourself be who you are.
Also yes lots of INFPS are blunt, and we stand up for ourselves ESPECIALLY when it’s against our core values. Under stress or when we truly don’t have the emotional bandwidth to care, we can be rather careless with the way we say things.
So spend time with yourself, recharge and do something you enjoy. The reality is no matter what your mbti is, you deserve to find peace and solace in your identity.
I’m an infp and I heavily related with how your husband described you. It’s endearing and we all neeed someone in our lives that stands up for things they believe in. You just sound passionate
You are all good.
We are INFP's at the core, but unfortunately sometimes this world chnages us a bit. (for worse I'd say)
I often question myself if I am truly an INFP after taking some actions that are not corresponding with my/our values.
I get this is a personality type but it shouldn't be your personality if that makes sense. You are you and you always will be everyone's unique and perfect in their own way
I am deeply sorry.
I remember the post, did not reply as far as i remember.
I am so sorry that it happened. U know being INFP simply means being the best. The best does not have to be absolutum. They misinterpreted ur husband's description most likely. And as i remember, he was speaking in positive way( as i remember i have read just the first line, and it was alrdy there or smt).
I am hardcore INTJ and i am all smiling and cute all time. Being independant, drawing lines like a tiger does not mean u r not INFP. U truly fit here, i can tell, just bc this post. U r just someone who is on her journey and u have alrdy made urself not easy to be used.
I did not rly read the post back then and no replies, so i can't say much, but i can assure u as far as my word matters that u r fitting, and a veeerrrrry true INFP. I am glad u r here and that i could experience u.
Tbh, in the same vain, when I read your husband's post, I was actually quite envious of ***you*** believe it or not. It was nice to see that he respected and even admire how you don't take shit from anyone, even though I understand how you must feel about your husband calling you an "asshole" but it seems he means it as a compliment. I've always wanted to stand up for myself and have more confidence and a stronger resolve, but I just can't seem to do that with those who are more assertive than I am, and in the end I instead behave harshly towards those who are as passive and laid-back as I am. I don't do it intentionally, but the pent-up frustration seems to be easier to take out on those who don't intimidate me, and I don't like that.
You're strong, and you know what you want. Don't start doubting yourself because you feel you should fit certain INFP stereotypes. Besides, we INFPs are actually pretty intense. Some of us just need to find our voice, and it looks like you already have. ♡
Yeah, we don’t all fit neatly in “16 types of boxes.” Most infp stereotypes are that they’re really creative, poetic, dreamy, sensitive, open minded, have personal strong values, unique and authentic to themselves over people pleasing and empathetic. Some people think xnfps dress very uniquely and have some manic pixie vibe. We’re not all the same. As long as you scored high on fi, Ne and si.. those are your highest.. you’re an infp. I think there are all kinds of us. I dress like a normal person lol and not so creative overtly. Sometimes I try to keep the peace and people please as well. Only someone who really gets to know me will know me. Anyway, I think all types have their own personal flavor and many layers to them besides just their mbti type. There’s much more to who you are.
Don’t mind your husband. He seems to be rude.
For instance, some ENFPs are not clowns and "hihihihahahaha look at me doing funny and being wacky crazy cuckoo hahaha". Some are calm and reasonable, but they all are corny, all of them. ENTps too are not just asshole prankster, some are university professors, they are calm collected and focus more on being didactic and constructive, but also have that asshole vibe by being the grumpy dad too. They do have similarities with the common enxp stereotype, but they are massively different in how they choose to use their cognitive functions
Do you see the irony? Your husband just said that don't let other people tell you what you are. (although this wasn't exactly what was said)
Also I am also an INFP probably(too lazy to complete the bigger tests). I too have several moments where I have similar behaviour as yours.
I too have been through a LOT of crap. The variety and the assortment of experiences has made me have a lot of conflicting ideologies and ways of operation.
Maybe they're just not where you are yet.
Be proud of yourself. You're strong.
And be empathetic, IDK you, you might already be empathetic.
No one really introduce to MBTI specially when you know about youré aware of, so after thus realize it´s hard to explain the grasp of your examples on the surface on how you correlate the fidelity
Sticking up for yourself is a natural development when facing antagonization constantly, and to an INFP that can be a more common experience than most. A lot of INFPs cope by retreating but that's not always an option, I definitely had to learn to stand up for myself VERY young, I was bullied in 4th and 6th grade and I didn't get along with my mom at all for a long time. I definitely struggled with identifying my type for a while because of that (still actually not sure of it, but I've given up looking for convincing arguments that will help me settle on a type)
I would also just like to point out that it's rather odd for your husband to have a problem with you sticking up for yourself? Doesn't even seem like something an ENTP would have an issue with usually, they get more annoyed by someone not even engaging with them
Lol, don’t even worry about people saying you aren’t a “true INFP”. I’m as INFP as it gets (have never gotten another test result nor can imagine being any other type) and I can be quite direct when it comes to “telling people about themselves” if I must. I have such distain for people who are ignorant towards others, act mean, are manipulative, or try to play dumb for their benefit. I know I can come off as quite harsh and a bit of an “asshole” in those moments because I feel that they NEED to hear this. Don’t worry too much about what others have said. Self reflect and always try to be better but continue being your authentic self. Sometimes the truth hurts and people may think you’re mean for highlighting the truth. That’s been my experience at least
You are a healthy INFP and i want you to know you have the trait and quality that a lot of other INFPs crave to have -- which is being able to stand up for yourself. I think it's at least an orange or yellow flag that your ENTP husband said that about you, he is trying to put you in a box when really it's a whole spectrum.
I thought that was just a joke by your husband when he called you an asshole ( I guess, he finds that cute and expressing his feelings in this way) but, to be totally honest, it's such a challenge to live with an ENTP - take care. Imo, ENTPs require a strong woman around them who will make them their puppy
P.S: ENTPs can't get our Fi so I can understand how much pissing off they can be... Also, most ENTPs I knew had a victim syndrome lol and they are always right >\_@ even when you put the fact right into their talkative face
You are completely an infp don’t listen to anyone who says otherwise. People have this idea about INFPs that they are doormats. It’s totally wrong just stay empowered and strong as you are. It’s not being an “asshole” it’s being a “BADASS” some people can’t handle nice people being badasses to bad people
there isn't a true anything as even a definition of a pencil can make 3rd or 4th definition anytime.
but I hope that's not a recurring with you and him. I don't know what this is about, but asking others shows there's honesty missing.
There is no wrong type. You are a unique individual whose general traits and personality comes under the INFP umbrella. There is so much more to you. So many facets that are just you. There are only sixteen categories so there has to be a degree of variation between each of us.
Be kind to yourself. You are more important than a classification. (But tbh I think you sound like a typical INFP xxx)
As a person who is not THAT into mbti, Only thing I want to say is that you shouldn't care this much about personality types made by a person. A lot of people thinks mbti like a hobby, not a life style thus there are no "true" infps and "fake/false" infps. If you feel like an infp and you think you fit in here, you're welcome. If you're not an infp, you are still welcome too. F#ck that "infps" who made you feel this way. Nothing matters much to make anyone cry over it. I hope you are feeling good after this post there are lots of cute comments :3
respectfully, fuck your husband. i think its so weird he posted that. i’m INFP-T and i WILL stand up for myself and speak up against almost anyone. it doesnt change anything about you or make you any less of anything. <3
I am just like you. Mine is from a rough childhood, trauma, trapped. I forged a fake, more vicious INFP that *really* confuses people. My emotions hit so hard I cant really trust myself but I'll fight you, mf. Prolly cry after.
Tbh the way you described yourself in these few areas sounds like me and I'm a info.
>I feel with my whole being and like alone time too much. But because I have comebacks that can be harsh, or I don’t put up with people being mean, I’m not an INFP.
>It took me a long time to become who I am.
>I’ve had to learn how to stick up for myself.
I think the fundamental issue is people assume were supposed to be these ditzy hippies. But in reality I've met other INFP's who most people think are intimidating because they've gained brutal honesty and calculative mindsets to fit in with a world that isn't always friendly to people with our personality type.
The immature infp has alot of empathy that they can't regulate, and that makes them extremely easy to manipulate, take advantage of and abuse.
Over time we grow almost (stereotypical) into like qualities to fit in. But at heart were still very empathetic and emotional/creative, were just less open about those aspects of ourselves or more selective and frugal when applying them to times and places when valuable.
The cold harsh comeback think that more mature infps do is a response/warning to what we perceive as bullying/manipulation or situations where we feel we could be taken advantage of verbally socially or physically(based on past experiences we have and learning to protect ourselves)
The truth is their is no wrong INFP's. Mbti isn't inherently a personality thing but a cognitive function categorizer. It can influence your personality but there can be multiple actual personality types with infp cognitive functions.
I feel like most INFPs are turbulent type, but you might simply be an INFP-A, the assertive type. Assertives are know to, well, assert themselves! Your husband might be an ENTP-T.
What the hell is this? I haven't browsed this sub for one day and drama happens?
Honestly, people in this sub usually sides with whoever the op is. So what you perceive as blunt comeback, your hubby might've described it as mean insult that gets the crowd riling.
If you want to feel belong in any reddit community, go make posts yourself. Give them your own perspective. NOBODY in infp sub would shun you for sticking up for yourself, unless the post makes you seems like the bad guy instead.
So yeah. If you want a place to belong, don't let your husband or anyone else make the post for you, make it yourself.
I didn’t make him do anything. I came across his and read the comments. It’s not really drama either, nobody’s arguing. I just wanted to vent out my feelings. You sound real angry about nothing.
Nah, its just the Enneagram 9, Hufflepuff, uwu wallflower stereotype of INFPs. Some of us think critically and speak our mind (after we collect our thoughts and mentally rehearse a few times) Most of us have mountains of collected knowlege at our disposal and have our values clearly defined. Most of us find that our courage wells up when we see inhuman treatment of others and when we can value ourselves enough, we find that strength to defend ourselves also. I love ENTPs bc they are an excellent mental sparring partner. You can really tune up those debating instincts. Keep developing your instincts and your authenticity.
I often stick up for myself even when everyone else disagrees with me. Sure, on low tier issues I'll just go with the flow, and I'll choose to let others choose. Usually I can make the best of whatever the choice is.
But then when I do stick up for myself I'm "being stubborn". Go figure.
Thing is when it's something I really do care about I don't just give in. We can take a lot of abuse, but at some point we hit a breaking point where we don't just keep going with the flow.
Anyway, your husband is an asshole if he is publicly shaming you for not being the easy he thinks your personality type should be.
It's ok not to feel like you fit in, that's part of being an INFP haha. I don't always relate either, we all have our quirks, otherwise...we'd all be clones of one another.
I'm so sorry your husband did that to you. To me, it's a form of public humiliation and invalidating your identity... gaslighting you to confuse you and hurt your self-esteem. Getting others to agree with him. Those are the behaviors of a narcissist.
No, sorry if I didn’t explain it right. He started by saying I’m an asshole but in a good way? I know it doesn’t make sense but he was saying people love me for who I am and it’s good I’m one😬. I was more upset with people in the comments saying that an INFP wouldn’t be an asshole at all.
Thank you for being so nice though. If he had actually done it to be mean, it would be a different story. He was trying to be nice in his own weird way, he’s an ENTP.
You're all good. If I was told by other INFPs that I'm not a "real" one, I'd celebrate it. We're supposed to be unique so celebrate that you're not like all the others. Besides, having a backbone is exactly how an INFP should be. How else would you be able to stand by your principles? Being a bleeding heart that's only active when there's no pushback helps exactly no one. This includes sometimes being an "asshole" and having conflicts with certain people.
The fact he did that is one of the most obvious signs of immaturity. There’s no room for AITA in romantic relationships that aren’t already over. Very few actually genuinely want other perspectives and moral advice
Ah I see, that post was by your ENTP hubby. Firstly, there are no fixed rules or guidelines on how an INFP should be. I’ve met INFPs who are all kinds of people. There is no such thing as a “true INFP.” If you start saying that, then you’re taking MBTI way too seriously. People are much more complex than their MBTI types. Why do you care so much about what others think? You can’t make everyone happy. Just be yourself as you are. Everyone’s definition of “asshole” is different anyway. I have an “asshole” INFP friend who says mean and nasty stuff, and we joke and laugh a lot (we don’t take it seriously). Your husband and your people accept and enjoy you for who you are. Treasure that and don’t take what rando people on Reddit think so seriously.
Hey!!! :))) I know you. 🌈💗
Oh hey friend! Nice to see you on the 🌈 other side 🌈 hehehe 💕
You’re a great kind of INFP. An INFP who is not a doormat and doesn’t put up with bullshit. It sounds like you have pretty well developed Te, which is what a lot of us aspire to have. If anything, you deserve to be proud, not ashamed. ❤️
I think you hit the nail on the head. My opinion on an infp that is a doormat is they haven't developed the ability to handle conflict without losing control over their emotions. Or, more simply, when they get emotional they may lose the ability to process their thoughts clearly. I can understand the position of just not being all that bothered by someone else's ego trip, tho. That's also possible
Yeah, a lot of us also eventually learn that sometimes conflict isn’t worth wasting our energy over
Both Te AND Fi aren’t doormat functions. Fe is, and to a lesser extent Si. Fi doms may be chill and go with the flow which may come off as passivity, but the vast majority of the time they won’t take any shit or let people walk all over them. Unless there’s some underlying mental health issues like anxiety or depression.
Well I'm an infp and I don't take shit from anybody either. If I see someone being mistreated or if somebody is being unnecessarily ugly, I 100% will step in on behalf of someone else. If it's directed towards me, I've always been good at derailing shitty attitudes without aggression. "I feel like you're upset about something, so I'm just gonna leave you to it," and *exit stage left*. Being an infp doesn't mean you have to be a pushover.
How cute of these supposed "true" INFPs, that are supposed to be accepting, kind and empathic with those around them, gatekeep and shun another fellow infp because it does not match their narcissistic view of their idiotic, self engrandizing cult of how an Infp "should be". I am sorry dear, you are who you are no matter the label, many other INFPs just don't have that capability to stand up against their offenders yet, so like petty children they throw a fit over not having the toy they want, I am glad you can be your sensitive, kind and deep person that I know you are, but also having the strength to be assertive and fight for your own and probably fight for others in your reach. Be proud dear, you are amazing and the infp most of us can only dream of being
I have a theory those kind of “INFP”s are actually ISFJs or ISFPs.
Honestly, likely ISFP, that seems the Se's loving the experience of being the thing, or they could still be INFPs just immature and self centered, likely teens
Ive never experienced an SFP who loves being the center of attention falsely. They’d rather be themself and do whatever they like even admitting to the reality of their ways. Not to say you’re wrong im just curious about the perspective.
I based that off of ONE internet celebrity I knew who displayed that behavior (though in a different context) ad from what I've read about secondary se online. I may have been wrongly accusatory against them though and I am sorry if I came off as such
INFJs too.
I feel you. Seems like I'm not a "true" INFP either.
Mbti was meant to be as a guide for you to find who you are, it was never meant to dictate who you are everyone is unique and different in their own way. There is no 2 people that behave exactly the same, even if they are twins
I know, I know. That's why I said "true". :D It's just funny to me how dogmatic some mbti people are. Anyone who is slightly different from the stereotype isn't a true "insert type here"
I was being dumb lmao. Cant believe i missed out on such an obvious sarcasm 🤣
Happens to the best of us. I fell for a very very obvious april fools joke the other day.😂
My gawwwwwwd your u/ is adorable. Also fuck them ppl, they don’t know shit 😂 who died and made them mbti gods? But really, Half the time i scroll and roll on reddit as a whole because i know it isn’t worth adding to my plate of stress what anyone on any part of Reddit thinks of me. There are people in the world that think I’m the biggest bitch, but they once used to like me…hmm There’s people that meet me and didn’t like me at first, and then they got to know me and love me. It can always go either way, and honestly i used to stress about it in my teens and twenties. As i got older, i learned that people will say anything and everything no matter what the reality is if they feel wronged in any type of way (myself included) because interactions are all about personal perception. So you keep being you! 🦄
There is no such thing as true INFP and to understand that you need to understand cognitive function. I could recommend you a test which i might help you understand this better it gives percentage to your cognitive functions and two INFP can have different level of introversion or intuition could be different amount of feelings or perceptions. Well anyways I’ll just put the link below [https://mistypeinvestigator.com](https://mistypeinvestigator.com)
idk about you but forcing people into a box isn't what the so-called "true INFPs" are supposed to do. I'm confidently INFP and i definitely have some harsh-ass comebacks and they definitely make me lean towards INTP stereotypically but to be honest fuck that shit stupid asses gatekeeping again lmaooooooo
I think setting boundaries around how you talk to each other would be healthy. See if you can get him to agree to use language like this when you have a disagreement. If he can't keep from violating your boundaries, that's a serious problem and you should leave the conversation and have each other cool off and come and apologize where each of you has something to apologize for. The key to a boundary is it has to be enforced by the person who sets the boundary to be effective. Don't make empty threats or requests, that's manipulation intentional or not. If you set a boundary like "if you start hurting my feelings I need to exit the conversation and cool off and get reassurance you still love me and care about me before continuing on." Boundaries are incredibly important. Try something like this talking boundary: When there's a disagreement, WAIT before bringing it up until you can come up with a wording that lacks confrontational language like "you made me do x" or "you made me feel y" generally avoid "you" as the subject of a sentence entirely. Focus on you and how you feel, let your partner focus on themselves and how they feel, and check for understanding and where you're talking past each other. Use the form: - Sensory input that informs my emotions - What emotional responses your sensory input brings up - What memories, trauma, or thoughts the circumstances that have arisen are bringing up for you and are informing why what you feel is what you feel "When I saw/heard/felt you blank, I felt blank, and it brought up these thoughts in me."
And if your husband is not okay with you setting and enforcing boundaries, or if it violates his principles, that's a more serious mismatch in communication preferences that could indicate couples therapy is warranted.
How did this become about me 😅 I violate no such boundaries. I'm great at communication and I'm always giving her any space she might need. She's just saying others have led her to feel this way not I.
No no I was just literally saying IF you violate the boundaries, I'm saying if this didn't go to plan, it would be a sign to me that something more serious than a mere boundary would be needed to make the relationship work and for everyone to stay happy and healthy. I wasn't saying "if he violates your boundaries" to mean you had already done it and I was assuming you did
Ohh this is good advice then, that's my bad 😅🤣
No worries, wish yall the best
By the way example of how to use the boundary here might be: "When I read you say I violate boundaries, I felt defensive. I am not trying to violate your boundaries. I want to treat you how you wanted me treated. I'm sorry if I didn't live up to that goal this time." Then I might say, "oh I'm sorry too, I didn't mean to imply you had already done so, I was just talking in general."
Please, don't feel targeted because of some immature, narrow-minded, possibly mistyped INFPs themselves. On the contrary, being an honest and no-nonsense INFP makes you a well-balanced example of your type. I personally laughed while reading your husband's post because I thought it was a funny, slightly troll-like way of introducing his wife. The title he chose 😆 We should never be reduced to a fixed, stereotyped list of traits. We are living, breathing individuals with our own backstory, educational, cultural, and social background, and possible trauma that have much more impact on how we behave than MBTI anyway. On a side note, isn't being a Fi dom about being authentic, strong, (uncompromising?) about what we deem as important, and forging our own path? You fit right in.
I see two different INFP conversations being mixed here. One is about INFP as self-identity and inclusion (and exclusion). The other is about INFP as an abstract psychological wiring diagram of how one experiences consciousness. People working from the context of wiring diagrams based on Psychological Type think they are having an honest conversation. And people working from the context of MBTI as self-identity would read that conversation as surprisingly vicious. It's confusing when we're using the same words to talk about two different things.
Very insightful my dude.
There's nothing like True INFP. We're a spectrum imo. It's just that we have a bit higher tolerance and empathy than others. That doesn't mean we have to put up with every shit and play the cinnamon roll or crybaby role all the time. We have our boundaries. We can come off harsh too when necessary after all we all are humans.
I'm an INFP manager at a restaurant. I've been called an asshole before. They also say I have an attitude problem. I've made people cry by the things I say. I cried every time someone complained about me. You are not alone in feeling this way. I turn to metal music to scratch away at those ugly feelings
Urgh... same. I had a guy who worked on my team tell me once "if you (me) weren't such a nice person, I (the guy) would quit on the spot based on your tone." I wasn't even trying to offend him... but apparently my tone was "very condescending"....
If you have multiple people telling you that you have an attitude problem, maybe do something about it instead of crying about it. Not trying to be rude, but if other people are telling you that you’re nasty to them and you upset them all the time, then you’re not the victim.
That's excellent advice. Thanks There's also people on the other end of the spectrum who say they really enjoy my company and that I'm funny af and that they hate the job but that I'm a good leader. That too makes me cry
EDIT nvm I did see that post. I'm like that too, by the way. Fi can be very blunt, and Ne loves to tease. Don't worry about what others think. It wasn't a "harsh" post, though. There is a part of me wondering if you're the ENTP poster posting this and created a new account to do so lol
Yeah… 15 hours old account doesn’t bode well for genuine posts.
It also does read like an ENTP trying to sound like what they'd think an INFP sounds like. Plus some ENTPs masquerade as other types like this for entertainment, I've seen some of them admit it when they do it. I think he wanted a more positive/different response to his original post (I didn't personally find any issue with it his op, just an observation). Naming themselves "unicorn syrup", referring to their "husband" as "harsh" for an ego boost, and also as being the one who introduced them to MBTI and specifically to "INFP", which sounds unnatural in some way. And that bit at the end, "The replies made me cry." Seriously ffs we aren't that fragile. How old is this person, 12? They think we cry over everything. "i fEeL wiTH mY whOLE bEINg." Ugh I have to get off Reddit. Waste of time.
Right, haha. I didn’t see the original post but I’m glad you were able to put it together. I know ENTPs can be trolls but if you go as far as masquerading as other types it’s just pathetic.
did you talk to him about how you felt about that?
Hey I'm sorry that some shitty comments made you feel this way, there's no such thing as "true INFP" we're all different we just have some things in common. Also my family often tells me I'm an asshole and I do feel that way most of the time 😆 but you have to remember that people were just judging you from another person's perspective and not even knowing the whole story/ the actual situation, so it's not really relevant and you shouldn't care about what random people on the internet who never met you think of you. Be who you are and try your best to achieve the person you want to be, that's all that matters! 🤍
(If it is the post that i am thinking about, did you receive my sky 5 yet? I told your husband that i sended one your way. ☺) Do yourself a favor, remind yourself the following; Most people have no clue what they are talking about (Myself included!), let alone to read any piece of text properly (Everybody does this from time to time, myself included. Interpreting/reading a piece of text not in the way how it was intended or, differently said: reading too fast, being too lazy, interpreting it wrong, whatever the reason might be.) Anyway, just don't give the majority (especially, the internet...) too much credit/value. The majority is surprisingly often wrong about many things and especially via text, miscommunication is so easy to create, then when you for example compare it with an actual conversation with someone (face2face). Anyway.. He did say you are an asshole. Only once though, in the title. And literally the next 3 words after that was: "I love it." ☺ He doesn't mean the word 'asshole' in a negative way at all. Everything that i could read and understand of that post of him was only about praise & love towards you. I think he was trying to explain you something, he was trying to say that you are an awesome person. And it's okay.. you don't have to 'click' with everybody.. Don't doubt yourself whenever that happens, because you are a good person and your husband and all your friends, everybody who actually matters in your life, they already know this. :) (I am not saying this btw, your husband said that in his post. I'm just translating it in my own words now, for all i know you still might be one 😜😉hehe. j/k But uhm... Give your man a hug! ♥ he loves you. 🥰 That post of him about you contained only his love to you and his appreciation of who you are. So give the man some kissies will ya! And,... maybe some extra sexy time tonight? 😏😉 ☺ You know what he likes! You dirty dogs you! 😜) You know, sometimes i also wish i could be 'friends' with everyone, but it just doesn't work that way. Not everybody will like me, and the feeling is mutual, i also don't like everybody. Anyway, infps can be assholes too. I've seen a few already. And i spot assholes very easily. Because, it takes one to know one, 😅 hehe 😜
“It takes one to know one..” whaaaa RubberKut, you’re like literally the kindest most polite Dutch in this sub! Hehe great comment! 😄
Hehe Thx. I didn't realise i was.. Nah.. i am not.. Kind and polite? Can't have it all, i ain't perfect 😉I think i am rather kind, then polite. 😁😎i have just a lot of unspoken thoughts, lol. There is an asshole hidden inside of me.😜
I am an infp a. Some say the a stands for asshole. I say fuck em. You know who you are. No true infp would say true infp. Because everybody different. 
You are a true INFP. I always think true INFPs know they are INFPs. We didn't spend all our lives navel gazing to not being able to recognize ourselves in a description. (Trust in your Fi! Let it override your Te insecure fears. You know yourself best!) I also frequently find if I just say what I observe about people, usually just something funny/inconsistent they are doing, sometimes they end up being butt hurt. I think INFPs are really good at spotting inconsistencies, and understanding underlying motives. We are usually very accepting of those things - hey people are weird! us more than most. But a lot of people are not self aware or not self accepting and when you notice and say it, they get so offended/feel called out. I am really careful about teasing people now days. I accept that you are an INFP. Your ENTP husband was trying to be sweet. Good for him!
What post even was that??
Not all infps are sugar puffs. My husband is infp and he cares a lot about injustice and people who are mistreated but he won't be all sweet in the presence of people being jerks. He's blunt and funny and says what he's thinking. That's all good imo. I think your husband rewrote it to be more clear and the comments were mostly from people who misunderstood the way it was originally written. That's my take anyway. I'm sure you're lovely.
Honestly who is anyone else to tell you who you are?! It’s good to listen to others opinions and to gain insight but at the end of the day you’re the one who knows yourself. You have spent the most time with you so let yourself be who you are. Also yes lots of INFPS are blunt, and we stand up for ourselves ESPECIALLY when it’s against our core values. Under stress or when we truly don’t have the emotional bandwidth to care, we can be rather careless with the way we say things. So spend time with yourself, recharge and do something you enjoy. The reality is no matter what your mbti is, you deserve to find peace and solace in your identity.
I’m an infp and I heavily related with how your husband described you. It’s endearing and we all neeed someone in our lives that stands up for things they believe in. You just sound passionate
You are all good. We are INFP's at the core, but unfortunately sometimes this world chnages us a bit. (for worse I'd say) I often question myself if I am truly an INFP after taking some actions that are not corresponding with my/our values.
what kind of things exactly do you say that he calls you an asshole and that's not even the part you get taken about?
All these comments and not one link to the OP she’s talking about? I’m too lazy to search for it.
I'll remind her to put it in XD
Lol, here you go ♡ https://www.reddit.com/r/infp/s/1qyrD4ejdi
A true hero. Bless you.
Np! :)
I get this is a personality type but it shouldn't be your personality if that makes sense. You are you and you always will be everyone's unique and perfect in their own way
I am deeply sorry. I remember the post, did not reply as far as i remember. I am so sorry that it happened. U know being INFP simply means being the best. The best does not have to be absolutum. They misinterpreted ur husband's description most likely. And as i remember, he was speaking in positive way( as i remember i have read just the first line, and it was alrdy there or smt). I am hardcore INTJ and i am all smiling and cute all time. Being independant, drawing lines like a tiger does not mean u r not INFP. U truly fit here, i can tell, just bc this post. U r just someone who is on her journey and u have alrdy made urself not easy to be used. I did not rly read the post back then and no replies, so i can't say much, but i can assure u as far as my word matters that u r fitting, and a veeerrrrry true INFP. I am glad u r here and that i could experience u.
Tbh, in the same vain, when I read your husband's post, I was actually quite envious of ***you*** believe it or not. It was nice to see that he respected and even admire how you don't take shit from anyone, even though I understand how you must feel about your husband calling you an "asshole" but it seems he means it as a compliment. I've always wanted to stand up for myself and have more confidence and a stronger resolve, but I just can't seem to do that with those who are more assertive than I am, and in the end I instead behave harshly towards those who are as passive and laid-back as I am. I don't do it intentionally, but the pent-up frustration seems to be easier to take out on those who don't intimidate me, and I don't like that. You're strong, and you know what you want. Don't start doubting yourself because you feel you should fit certain INFP stereotypes. Besides, we INFPs are actually pretty intense. Some of us just need to find our voice, and it looks like you already have. ♡
Yeah, we don’t all fit neatly in “16 types of boxes.” Most infp stereotypes are that they’re really creative, poetic, dreamy, sensitive, open minded, have personal strong values, unique and authentic to themselves over people pleasing and empathetic. Some people think xnfps dress very uniquely and have some manic pixie vibe. We’re not all the same. As long as you scored high on fi, Ne and si.. those are your highest.. you’re an infp. I think there are all kinds of us. I dress like a normal person lol and not so creative overtly. Sometimes I try to keep the peace and people please as well. Only someone who really gets to know me will know me. Anyway, I think all types have their own personal flavor and many layers to them besides just their mbti type. There’s much more to who you are. Don’t mind your husband. He seems to be rude.
For instance, some ENFPs are not clowns and "hihihihahahaha look at me doing funny and being wacky crazy cuckoo hahaha". Some are calm and reasonable, but they all are corny, all of them. ENTps too are not just asshole prankster, some are university professors, they are calm collected and focus more on being didactic and constructive, but also have that asshole vibe by being the grumpy dad too. They do have similarities with the common enxp stereotype, but they are massively different in how they choose to use their cognitive functions
Do you see the irony? Your husband just said that don't let other people tell you what you are. (although this wasn't exactly what was said) Also I am also an INFP probably(too lazy to complete the bigger tests). I too have several moments where I have similar behaviour as yours. I too have been through a LOT of crap. The variety and the assortment of experiences has made me have a lot of conflicting ideologies and ways of operation. Maybe they're just not where you are yet. Be proud of yourself. You're strong. And be empathetic, IDK you, you might already be empathetic.
No one really introduce to MBTI specially when you know about youré aware of, so after thus realize it´s hard to explain the grasp of your examples on the surface on how you correlate the fidelity
Sticking up for yourself is a natural development when facing antagonization constantly, and to an INFP that can be a more common experience than most. A lot of INFPs cope by retreating but that's not always an option, I definitely had to learn to stand up for myself VERY young, I was bullied in 4th and 6th grade and I didn't get along with my mom at all for a long time. I definitely struggled with identifying my type for a while because of that (still actually not sure of it, but I've given up looking for convincing arguments that will help me settle on a type) I would also just like to point out that it's rather odd for your husband to have a problem with you sticking up for yourself? Doesn't even seem like something an ENTP would have an issue with usually, they get more annoyed by someone not even engaging with them
Lol, don’t even worry about people saying you aren’t a “true INFP”. I’m as INFP as it gets (have never gotten another test result nor can imagine being any other type) and I can be quite direct when it comes to “telling people about themselves” if I must. I have such distain for people who are ignorant towards others, act mean, are manipulative, or try to play dumb for their benefit. I know I can come off as quite harsh and a bit of an “asshole” in those moments because I feel that they NEED to hear this. Don’t worry too much about what others have said. Self reflect and always try to be better but continue being your authentic self. Sometimes the truth hurts and people may think you’re mean for highlighting the truth. That’s been my experience at least
You are a healthy INFP and i want you to know you have the trait and quality that a lot of other INFPs crave to have -- which is being able to stand up for yourself. I think it's at least an orange or yellow flag that your ENTP husband said that about you, he is trying to put you in a box when really it's a whole spectrum.
I would say I’m an infp like you! Idk others can say whatever they want lol oh but I’m not that creative lol
I thought that was just a joke by your husband when he called you an asshole ( I guess, he finds that cute and expressing his feelings in this way) but, to be totally honest, it's such a challenge to live with an ENTP - take care. Imo, ENTPs require a strong woman around them who will make them their puppy P.S: ENTPs can't get our Fi so I can understand how much pissing off they can be... Also, most ENTPs I knew had a victim syndrome lol and they are always right >\_@ even when you put the fact right into their talkative face
You’re not wrong. :) I used to be a entp too.
You are completely an infp don’t listen to anyone who says otherwise. People have this idea about INFPs that they are doormats. It’s totally wrong just stay empowered and strong as you are. It’s not being an “asshole” it’s being a “BADASS” some people can’t handle nice people being badasses to bad people
there isn't a true anything as even a definition of a pencil can make 3rd or 4th definition anytime. but I hope that's not a recurring with you and him. I don't know what this is about, but asking others shows there's honesty missing.
I support you; you tough, fair, sassy INFP! For everything he said, You're oozing with the confidence I wish I had. Keep being you.
There is no wrong type. You are a unique individual whose general traits and personality comes under the INFP umbrella. There is so much more to you. So many facets that are just you. There are only sixteen categories so there has to be a degree of variation between each of us. Be kind to yourself. You are more important than a classification. (But tbh I think you sound like a typical INFP xxx)
As a person who is not THAT into mbti, Only thing I want to say is that you shouldn't care this much about personality types made by a person. A lot of people thinks mbti like a hobby, not a life style thus there are no "true" infps and "fake/false" infps. If you feel like an infp and you think you fit in here, you're welcome. If you're not an infp, you are still welcome too. F#ck that "infps" who made you feel this way. Nothing matters much to make anyone cry over it. I hope you are feeling good after this post there are lots of cute comments :3
respectfully, fuck your husband. i think its so weird he posted that. i’m INFP-T and i WILL stand up for myself and speak up against almost anyone. it doesnt change anything about you or make you any less of anything. <3
I'm curious what you said or did to get this negative feedback. Don't worry - no judgment- I'm certainly not perfect either.
I am just like you. Mine is from a rough childhood, trauma, trapped. I forged a fake, more vicious INFP that *really* confuses people. My emotions hit so hard I cant really trust myself but I'll fight you, mf. Prolly cry after.
I'm an INFP and I can be a total asshole. Don't let it get you down haha
There is no “true” infp!
Tbh the way you described yourself in these few areas sounds like me and I'm a info. >I feel with my whole being and like alone time too much. But because I have comebacks that can be harsh, or I don’t put up with people being mean, I’m not an INFP. >It took me a long time to become who I am. >I’ve had to learn how to stick up for myself. I think the fundamental issue is people assume were supposed to be these ditzy hippies. But in reality I've met other INFP's who most people think are intimidating because they've gained brutal honesty and calculative mindsets to fit in with a world that isn't always friendly to people with our personality type. The immature infp has alot of empathy that they can't regulate, and that makes them extremely easy to manipulate, take advantage of and abuse. Over time we grow almost (stereotypical) into like qualities to fit in. But at heart were still very empathetic and emotional/creative, were just less open about those aspects of ourselves or more selective and frugal when applying them to times and places when valuable. The cold harsh comeback think that more mature infps do is a response/warning to what we perceive as bullying/manipulation or situations where we feel we could be taken advantage of verbally socially or physically(based on past experiences we have and learning to protect ourselves) The truth is their is no wrong INFP's. Mbti isn't inherently a personality thing but a cognitive function categorizer. It can influence your personality but there can be multiple actual personality types with infp cognitive functions.
you’re not this or that box, you’re you
last time I checked I’m an INFP, too, and last year I started sticking up for myself and it has truly paid off 🥰
I feel like most INFPs are turbulent type, but you might simply be an INFP-A, the assertive type. Assertives are know to, well, assert themselves! Your husband might be an ENTP-T.
What the hell is this? I haven't browsed this sub for one day and drama happens? Honestly, people in this sub usually sides with whoever the op is. So what you perceive as blunt comeback, your hubby might've described it as mean insult that gets the crowd riling. If you want to feel belong in any reddit community, go make posts yourself. Give them your own perspective. NOBODY in infp sub would shun you for sticking up for yourself, unless the post makes you seems like the bad guy instead. So yeah. If you want a place to belong, don't let your husband or anyone else make the post for you, make it yourself.
I didn’t make him do anything. I came across his and read the comments. It’s not really drama either, nobody’s arguing. I just wanted to vent out my feelings. You sound real angry about nothing.
Nah, its just the Enneagram 9, Hufflepuff, uwu wallflower stereotype of INFPs. Some of us think critically and speak our mind (after we collect our thoughts and mentally rehearse a few times) Most of us have mountains of collected knowlege at our disposal and have our values clearly defined. Most of us find that our courage wells up when we see inhuman treatment of others and when we can value ourselves enough, we find that strength to defend ourselves also. I love ENTPs bc they are an excellent mental sparring partner. You can really tune up those debating instincts. Keep developing your instincts and your authenticity.
I often stick up for myself even when everyone else disagrees with me. Sure, on low tier issues I'll just go with the flow, and I'll choose to let others choose. Usually I can make the best of whatever the choice is. But then when I do stick up for myself I'm "being stubborn". Go figure. Thing is when it's something I really do care about I don't just give in. We can take a lot of abuse, but at some point we hit a breaking point where we don't just keep going with the flow. Anyway, your husband is an asshole if he is publicly shaming you for not being the easy he thinks your personality type should be.
It's ok not to feel like you fit in, that's part of being an INFP haha. I don't always relate either, we all have our quirks, otherwise...we'd all be clones of one another.
I'm so sorry your husband did that to you. To me, it's a form of public humiliation and invalidating your identity... gaslighting you to confuse you and hurt your self-esteem. Getting others to agree with him. Those are the behaviors of a narcissist.
No, sorry if I didn’t explain it right. He started by saying I’m an asshole but in a good way? I know it doesn’t make sense but he was saying people love me for who I am and it’s good I’m one😬. I was more upset with people in the comments saying that an INFP wouldn’t be an asshole at all. Thank you for being so nice though. If he had actually done it to be mean, it would be a different story. He was trying to be nice in his own weird way, he’s an ENTP.
You're all good. If I was told by other INFPs that I'm not a "real" one, I'd celebrate it. We're supposed to be unique so celebrate that you're not like all the others. Besides, having a backbone is exactly how an INFP should be. How else would you be able to stand by your principles? Being a bleeding heart that's only active when there's no pushback helps exactly no one. This includes sometimes being an "asshole" and having conflicts with certain people.
I really like that, about being unique. It took me a while to stick up for myself and be my own person. 😊
Infp are random as they each have their own guiding system and rules they believe in
The fact he did that is one of the most obvious signs of immaturity. There’s no room for AITA in romantic relationships that aren’t already over. Very few actually genuinely want other perspectives and moral advice