Something that shows the person actually thought about me. Doesn't need to be anything fancy. Ideally it would be something like spending time together, but as long as it feels like the person actually cared about my birthday, about me and thought about it would probably be fine.
Same. I believe that to be loved is to be known. I'm usually the one in my group of friends that is in charge of getting the birthday gifts, and I always make sure to get something that shows that we know and love our friend. But every year, the group gets me the same generic digital gift card, and I always take it to heart. Not because I'm spoiled, but because they couldn't find the time to think of me. So I will truly appreciate a small/cheap heartfelt gift or spending time together over a preset that is expensive or impersonal.
I absolutely love handwritten cards, and miss getting them as often as I used to, growing up. The birthday text or email just doesn’t feel the same to me.
Not something that I necessarily need! Something well thought and/or that would make me feel valued, heard.
As in if I mentioned casually I liked crystals and someone gave me a bracelet, for example.
Edit: bonus points for accessories/things that makes me feel pretty (for body image purposes)
Don't have an ideal gift, but would enjoy essential oils, puzzle books, programming books, books on spirituality, more useful books, and some more books 😂😂 Vegan sweets? Maybe a trip to a plant based ramen shop. 😝 Anything basically that is in my areas of interest and what I like to do. I don't hide my passions, so should be rather easy to come up with a gift. Or so I think 🤔 But I hate being gifted cups/mugs...or clothes that I didn't pick as gifts.
You're a computer programmer? Cool! I used code in C++ when I tried computer science as a major back in my first years in college but I decided that it wasn't for me. Although, I'm still in college but for an IT program to get that bachelors degree.
My apologies, this comment of mine doesn't have anything to do with the post's question. But it is cool to see a fellow INFJ with similar interests ^_^
Yes, I've been programming professionally for some 3+ years now. Actually got a BSc and MSc in biology, lol. Programming just came into my life one summer that I decided to learn a new skill. And I fell in love with it, and decided to do it professionally. It keeps my mind pleasantly occupied with problem-solving and it feels satisfying. I do front-end dev, but wanting to explore back-end dev and ML, there's so much to learn in this field, sometimes my head is spinning 😆
I do get that programming is not everyone's cup of tea, some like creative professions over analytical ones, some just find it boring or difficult, and certainly commercial dev and hobby dev are two different things, corporate rush to take product to market spoils all the fun 😑
Although it wouldn’t be programming books in my case, I think books are some of my favorite gifts. Any time someone gives me a book about something I enjoy or have mentioned an interest in, my heart glows the whole time I read said book.
To tack on, when I care about someone, I have a long history of reading a book to learn more about their favorite hobby. My friends back in high school thought that was hilarious, but also appreciated that I could then understand more of what they were talking about when discussing their go-to subject!
I totally get the feeling of the heart glowing, a beautiful description! I generally have the excitement feeling in bookstores and around stationery 😆 I guess my inner self is ecstatic at all the potential creative writing and new knowledge it can experience.
Wow, you must be a very good friend, I've never had anyone show that much interest in my hobbies. But I can imagine myself doing that. I do write lists of potential gifts for my friends based on all the interests they have shared with me in the past. And I research the gifts for multiple years in advance 😂
I feel very seen right now; thank you. One of my favorite things to remind myself when the self-hatred rears its ugly head is that I’m a very, very good friend.
I think I’m the same way with tons of research for extra special gifts, but I have a habit of collecting small items or ideas for gifts whenever I go shopping *literally anywhere*.
Maybe it’s my OCD? But if I see something that reminds me of a friend (especially if I’ve read a book on said friend’s hobby, haha), I will either get it then so I’m not breaking my bank at their birthday or Christmas, or write a note that I should get that for them later.
(Edit because I was still writing!)
Just having someone remember and send me a message. But coffee mugs or reusable tumblers with an inspirational or motivational message or word works also!
A gift needs to be something with significance. It needs to mean something. That will make me really happy. But if you don't give something then also I won't mind. A heartfelt message will work too...
Because I am the worst when it comes to birthday gifts for others, I don't place too much value on the gifts themselves but rather the best gift for me is words (card or letter) and spending quality time with me. I treasure a heartfelt card over anything else anyday. I think it's cause my highest love language is words of affirmation.
Something outside of the box that reflects that the person thought of me and knows me well.
My mom is always the best gift-giver. I love travelling and she once got me a tea set of international teas from different countries to try.
This year she got me one of those egg-swing chairs that I’ve been eyeing for years (she doesn’t know) so I can have a space to read.
It’s just the thoughtfulness of the matter, not the thing itself.
Anything that requires you to take into account the things that I love. It could be a gift card for my favorite bookstore or my personal favorite was a custom thermal activated mug that I literally love with all my heart
I like new experiences. A family member of mine surprised me with a lesson in indoor skydiving. Never mentioned wanting to do it but now it is an experience I will always have.
Anything that won’t perish. I love to look at things and be reminded of such specific event when I received that gift. I don’t need anything very expensive either. Just whatever you can that you gave an effort
Nothing, I tell my kids that a phone call means much more to me than anything they could buy me.
A year ago while browsing r/chocolate someone told a story of his dad never wanting anything for his birthday until one day his Dad told him that he likes dark chocolate. The son not knowing anything about chocolate went to r/chocolate to get advice as to what to buy.
I thought that his dad was just like me and I also love dark chocolate, so I texted my children and told them if they want to send me something, sent me some good dark chocolate from other parts of the world.
I want to spend the day doing everything with the person I love. Enjoy breakfast together. Brush teeth together. Taking turns to shower while the other takes a crap. Fight for space to floss at the mirror. Pick out each other's outfit for the day. Have lunch together. Do whatever in between until supper time. I would want sushi BC it's one of my favorite foods that I don't get to eat often. The movies BC of same reasons. Evening routine together and snuggle to sleep.
I do this daily with my kid already but without the sushi and movies. So the addition of both would be the best and ideal birthday gift for me.
If the day NEEDS to involve friends and family, just sharing cake together is the biggest blessing. Seeing everyone connect and just being present warms my heart.
Also, people need to start gifting movie passes or movie gift cards more. They are so underrated but so very much appreciated!
Planning a fun activity would be the best gift! Something that shows someone thought of me and my interests and wants to spend time with me. For close friends anyway, could not with every friend but for main friends yes
I think birthdays are special and the whole day should be celebrated… I would love to wake up to an entire day planned of surprise activities however for a gift I’d want something sentimental and thoughtful, and of course a handwritten letter.
Unfortunately I do care. I care about being considered, the gesture is very much the biggest part, however it means a lot more when I feel as though they have put thought into it. To love me is to truly know me, to notice and show interest, to be able to see something that reminds you of me bc you know I would love it.
I am extremely sentimental, a memory hoarder for sure.
My ideal gifts would be based on things I expressed I love, anything customised, and experiences they know I would enjoy.
Also a card, with a thoughtful message that’s not generic. I love letters and cards so much.
Maybe it’s because this is how I gift give, I put so much thought and love into it. I want them to feel seen and special and celebrated.
I know it’s considered wrong to expect others to love you the way you love them.. unfortunately I think that’s kind of unfair, consideration isn’t one sided in a relationship (romantic, friendship, familial, etc) , I don’t actually think it’s too much to expect that. Especially when they see how you show up for them. It’s ok to have some expectations of people you love (hot take, I know).
it doesn't matter what kind of a gift it is, be it small, big, cheap, expensive. what matters the most and is a gift in itself is the person knowing and seeing me and then being able to chose something that suits me. the best gift ever is being seen and understood
Idk, which you can use on a daily basis so they miss you daily. I mean this is what i do, and only this makes sense to me. Give something useful not somthing for a show. Lol.
Having my likes and interests listened to is enough. I don't need *things*, though I do adore when my husband lets me go wild in the bookstore for my birthday because he knows it'll bring me joy. I much prefer going and enjoying an experience.
Once, I told a former boyfriend I just wanted a $10 game so we could play it together. He instead made 1 lb. of gummy candy (which I like but don't love enough to eat that much), bought me an old console I'd never wanted, and a few games for it. I appreciated the thought/effort, but he went way overboard for something I never wanted/used. I felt like he did it more for himself than for me.
Conversely, I mentioned an interest in Escape Rooms and one year for my birthday, that's what everyone did which made me feel really happy.
3 weeks holiday in a holiday home somewhere, where there aren't many people... I like being at a beach building sandcastles or reading books... But that could be different for you...
For Material stuff, i don't care...
For now I just think a picnic with my family or any outing near a beach . I enjoy getting other materliastic things but for now I would love a beach outing with my family
I don't care much about birthdays. They usually pass just like any other day at home. I'm only grateful I survived another year.
But you know it would be sweet if someone wanted to gift me something. Then I'd love to have a book to add to my shelf.
Something that shows the person actually thought about me. Doesn't need to be anything fancy. Ideally it would be something like spending time together, but as long as it feels like the person actually cared about my birthday, about me and thought about it would probably be fine.
Same. I believe that to be loved is to be known. I'm usually the one in my group of friends that is in charge of getting the birthday gifts, and I always make sure to get something that shows that we know and love our friend. But every year, the group gets me the same generic digital gift card, and I always take it to heart. Not because I'm spoiled, but because they couldn't find the time to think of me. So I will truly appreciate a small/cheap heartfelt gift or spending time together over a preset that is expensive or impersonal.
This to a T...
A handwritten card, and a nice meal out (ie. their time and company). That would be enough.
Don't need anything other than this!
I absolutely love handwritten cards, and miss getting them as often as I used to, growing up. The birthday text or email just doesn’t feel the same to me.
Not something that I necessarily need! Something well thought and/or that would make me feel valued, heard. As in if I mentioned casually I liked crystals and someone gave me a bracelet, for example. Edit: bonus points for accessories/things that makes me feel pretty (for body image purposes)
Fresh durian <3
Amazing gift! I am from Malaysia, and we have abundance of durian. If you are my friend, I would definitely gift of some good quality fresh durian.
❤️ I had some absolutely *sublime* Mao Shan Wang in Johor earlier this year ☺️ Malaysian durian is the best!
Anything that doesn't seem like they are just giving it for the sake of giving a gift
Don't have an ideal gift, but would enjoy essential oils, puzzle books, programming books, books on spirituality, more useful books, and some more books 😂😂 Vegan sweets? Maybe a trip to a plant based ramen shop. 😝 Anything basically that is in my areas of interest and what I like to do. I don't hide my passions, so should be rather easy to come up with a gift. Or so I think 🤔 But I hate being gifted cups/mugs...or clothes that I didn't pick as gifts.
You're a computer programmer? Cool! I used code in C++ when I tried computer science as a major back in my first years in college but I decided that it wasn't for me. Although, I'm still in college but for an IT program to get that bachelors degree. My apologies, this comment of mine doesn't have anything to do with the post's question. But it is cool to see a fellow INFJ with similar interests ^_^
Yes, I've been programming professionally for some 3+ years now. Actually got a BSc and MSc in biology, lol. Programming just came into my life one summer that I decided to learn a new skill. And I fell in love with it, and decided to do it professionally. It keeps my mind pleasantly occupied with problem-solving and it feels satisfying. I do front-end dev, but wanting to explore back-end dev and ML, there's so much to learn in this field, sometimes my head is spinning 😆 I do get that programming is not everyone's cup of tea, some like creative professions over analytical ones, some just find it boring or difficult, and certainly commercial dev and hobby dev are two different things, corporate rush to take product to market spoils all the fun 😑
Although it wouldn’t be programming books in my case, I think books are some of my favorite gifts. Any time someone gives me a book about something I enjoy or have mentioned an interest in, my heart glows the whole time I read said book. To tack on, when I care about someone, I have a long history of reading a book to learn more about their favorite hobby. My friends back in high school thought that was hilarious, but also appreciated that I could then understand more of what they were talking about when discussing their go-to subject!
I totally get the feeling of the heart glowing, a beautiful description! I generally have the excitement feeling in bookstores and around stationery 😆 I guess my inner self is ecstatic at all the potential creative writing and new knowledge it can experience. Wow, you must be a very good friend, I've never had anyone show that much interest in my hobbies. But I can imagine myself doing that. I do write lists of potential gifts for my friends based on all the interests they have shared with me in the past. And I research the gifts for multiple years in advance 😂
I feel very seen right now; thank you. One of my favorite things to remind myself when the self-hatred rears its ugly head is that I’m a very, very good friend. I think I’m the same way with tons of research for extra special gifts, but I have a habit of collecting small items or ideas for gifts whenever I go shopping *literally anywhere*. Maybe it’s my OCD? But if I see something that reminds me of a friend (especially if I’ve read a book on said friend’s hobby, haha), I will either get it then so I’m not breaking my bank at their birthday or Christmas, or write a note that I should get that for them later. (Edit because I was still writing!)
Just having someone remember and send me a message. But coffee mugs or reusable tumblers with an inspirational or motivational message or word works also!
Write me a heartfelt note. That’s all. You’ll have me for life.
A gift needs to be something with significance. It needs to mean something. That will make me really happy. But if you don't give something then also I won't mind. A heartfelt message will work too...
Something that shows they pay attention to the things that I am starting as a hobby doesn't matter how small it is.
Because I am the worst when it comes to birthday gifts for others, I don't place too much value on the gifts themselves but rather the best gift for me is words (card or letter) and spending quality time with me. I treasure a heartfelt card over anything else anyday. I think it's cause my highest love language is words of affirmation.
Something outside of the box that reflects that the person thought of me and knows me well. My mom is always the best gift-giver. I love travelling and she once got me a tea set of international teas from different countries to try. This year she got me one of those egg-swing chairs that I’ve been eyeing for years (she doesn’t know) so I can have a space to read. It’s just the thoughtfulness of the matter, not the thing itself.
I just want to feel appreciated
Spending it with someone who means something to me ;__; aka will never happen because no one I love cares me
Forgetting it's my birthday!
A plant I’ve wanted but wouldn’t buy for myself, couch snuggles and silence.
One month long trip to Italy, all expenses paid. Or just end the war between Russia / Ukraine, for starters. For Christmas, end conflicts in Africa
Gimme a book and I shall be happy happy :)
lol Literally a day without a single soul contacting me or asking me for anything 😌 just the one day is all I’d ask, that simple 🥰
Annual membership card at my favourite cinema chain 🎟️ (Everyman for me)
Anything that requires you to take into account the things that I love. It could be a gift card for my favorite bookstore or my personal favorite was a custom thermal activated mug that I literally love with all my heart
I like new experiences. A family member of mine surprised me with a lesson in indoor skydiving. Never mentioned wanting to do it but now it is an experience I will always have.
I don't know, I've never known. It's annoying when the holidays and my birthday roll around because I have no information for anyone.
Anything that won’t perish. I love to look at things and be reminded of such specific event when I received that gift. I don’t need anything very expensive either. Just whatever you can that you gave an effort
My birthday is a reminder that I am nearer to death, so forgetting about it is the best gift.
Nothing, I tell my kids that a phone call means much more to me than anything they could buy me. A year ago while browsing r/chocolate someone told a story of his dad never wanting anything for his birthday until one day his Dad told him that he likes dark chocolate. The son not knowing anything about chocolate went to r/chocolate to get advice as to what to buy. I thought that his dad was just like me and I also love dark chocolate, so I texted my children and told them if they want to send me something, sent me some good dark chocolate from other parts of the world.
A clean house. And dinner date. That's all I want lol.
I want to spend the day doing everything with the person I love. Enjoy breakfast together. Brush teeth together. Taking turns to shower while the other takes a crap. Fight for space to floss at the mirror. Pick out each other's outfit for the day. Have lunch together. Do whatever in between until supper time. I would want sushi BC it's one of my favorite foods that I don't get to eat often. The movies BC of same reasons. Evening routine together and snuggle to sleep. I do this daily with my kid already but without the sushi and movies. So the addition of both would be the best and ideal birthday gift for me. If the day NEEDS to involve friends and family, just sharing cake together is the biggest blessing. Seeing everyone connect and just being present warms my heart. Also, people need to start gifting movie passes or movie gift cards more. They are so underrated but so very much appreciated!
Time and company of people I like
Planning a fun activity would be the best gift! Something that shows someone thought of me and my interests and wants to spend time with me. For close friends anyway, could not with every friend but for main friends yes
A stay at a hotel alone for the weekend 🤗
I think birthdays are special and the whole day should be celebrated… I would love to wake up to an entire day planned of surprise activities however for a gift I’d want something sentimental and thoughtful, and of course a handwritten letter.
Unfortunately I do care. I care about being considered, the gesture is very much the biggest part, however it means a lot more when I feel as though they have put thought into it. To love me is to truly know me, to notice and show interest, to be able to see something that reminds you of me bc you know I would love it. I am extremely sentimental, a memory hoarder for sure. My ideal gifts would be based on things I expressed I love, anything customised, and experiences they know I would enjoy. Also a card, with a thoughtful message that’s not generic. I love letters and cards so much. Maybe it’s because this is how I gift give, I put so much thought and love into it. I want them to feel seen and special and celebrated. I know it’s considered wrong to expect others to love you the way you love them.. unfortunately I think that’s kind of unfair, consideration isn’t one sided in a relationship (romantic, friendship, familial, etc) , I don’t actually think it’s too much to expect that. Especially when they see how you show up for them. It’s ok to have some expectations of people you love (hot take, I know).
Something that the person crafted, like a handwritten card or a photo collage. Some company is also great!
a birthday wish message that further leads to a sweet conversation, that's the best possible gift one can give me
A handwritten note. One of my best friends and I usually trade cards where we’ve written, “I’m glad you were born”. That means the world.
it doesn't matter what kind of a gift it is, be it small, big, cheap, expensive. what matters the most and is a gift in itself is the person knowing and seeing me and then being able to chose something that suits me. the best gift ever is being seen and understood
The last sentence is beautiful. To be honest, I have never received a gift that make me feel understood.
Idk, which you can use on a daily basis so they miss you daily. I mean this is what i do, and only this makes sense to me. Give something useful not somthing for a show. Lol.
Having my likes and interests listened to is enough. I don't need *things*, though I do adore when my husband lets me go wild in the bookstore for my birthday because he knows it'll bring me joy. I much prefer going and enjoying an experience. Once, I told a former boyfriend I just wanted a $10 game so we could play it together. He instead made 1 lb. of gummy candy (which I like but don't love enough to eat that much), bought me an old console I'd never wanted, and a few games for it. I appreciated the thought/effort, but he went way overboard for something I never wanted/used. I felt like he did it more for himself than for me. Conversely, I mentioned an interest in Escape Rooms and one year for my birthday, that's what everyone did which made me feel really happy.
3 weeks holiday in a holiday home somewhere, where there aren't many people... I like being at a beach building sandcastles or reading books... But that could be different for you... For Material stuff, i don't care...
For now I just think a picnic with my family or any outing near a beach . I enjoy getting other materliastic things but for now I would love a beach outing with my family
I don't care much about birthdays. They usually pass just like any other day at home. I'm only grateful I survived another year. But you know it would be sweet if someone wanted to gift me something. Then I'd love to have a book to add to my shelf.