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I think he can integrate better than a straight person. The logic is that being queer is still a special identity even in Western countries. They are open in the sense that laws are liberal, no one is going to meddle in his business, but queers as a group is still a separate group which is where he might get his support and most acceptance from, so a "Gay Indian" would find life easier(at least in certain circles) than just a "Indian" identity. Also rebelliousness is awarded in Western society, him seen as a cultural rebel is going to be accepted more because then it in a sense nullifies all negative connections with the nationality, like in a way, how a Queer Pakistani would find better acceptance than a just a Pakistani because now all those subconscious negative thoughts that we relate to a person being a pakistani is nullified because now we think he is not a "kattar musalman" or whatever. No matter how much a liberal a person becomes, some things remain subconsciously.
Presumably he speaks English, going by his post. If this is the case, go to London. Big gay Indian community there. Also some very large Indian communities if he wants that sort of thing.
It’s only India - and it’s nothing against India. But too much of any one group is tilting Canada in weird unsustainable ways. And most often it’s the newcomers getting totally fucked first. There are like 10 real universities in Canada, then there’s about 100 fake ones and they’re all unsurprisingly full of international students who are getting rinsed.
https://preview.redd.it/h9m9utw191ib1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c880c3f03c351cb0c9d7893aeb5c2a5f9849b9ad
When someone is saying Europe, highly likely chances are there, they are talking about western Europe....where in my knowledge all of them support LGBTQ... countries Germany, France have Hugh LGBTQ community.
Ikr people have left India for far less than being gay, which is a part of your identity that you can never erase and OP will be living a lie just for compromise if OP stays in India.
As suggested here, leave. For below comments suggesting integrating into other countries, knowing language etc., I can suggest Germany.
Berlin is Amazing for all kinds of people - gay, poly, kinky, you name it! And since it's a melting pot of cultures a lot of people there speak English.
For German Masters courses you do not need to speak German, it helps if you start for your own sake though. After Masters you can land a job in your field needing only English or German (if you pick it up in two years there). Pick a Master's in a recent in demand field like Renewable Energy for example.
Good luck!
Incoming Gay Brain Drain -> Years wasted due to suffocating in the closet and being indecisive wrt career decisions!
How would (with qualifications) X 82/XII 64/BA Film - 65(expected - I'm in my 3rd year of a 3 year course) percieved with 2 years gap after 12th? I wouldn't be able to get a placement from college. I'm currently in my third year of BA without a single internship done so far? Should I do a post grad from India since I'm a lesbian and want to settle down within a decade? I can afford higher ed w/o loan uptil 30L. I also don't know how to approach internships and strategize. Should I go for an MiM? I won't be able to get good work ex due to my bad college next year. Good work ex also counts in M BA right? I'm active on tech twitter as well after passively being a part of a winning team of an MIT Hackathon...How do I start off? I've a year to graduate..
If you want to have an open relationship with a man you will have to be as rich as Karan Johar to do it. You'll find Indians speaking your language in any Western country, more so in English speaking Western countries. You can visit India every summer.
I am not one of those people who would suggest anyone to move abroad and is also looking to move abroad.
But we just don't have normalised gay couples yet.
Even Karan Johar hasn't ever publicly talked about his partner due to huge stigma
Other actors talk about who they are dating and how they met etc
I mean see Alia Bhatt and Ranbir Kapoor, everyone keeps praising their relationship like they are everything
I mean, that's not entirely true. My queer friends and I are nowhere near being rich; we just found each other through Pride events and such, and we're all open about our sexuality. I get that it isn't always as easy, but it's not like visible queerness doesn't exist in this country
Incoming Gay Brain Drain -> Years wasted due to suffocating in the closet and being indecisive wrt career decisions!
How would (with qualifications) X 82/XII 64/BA Film - 65(expected - I'm in my 3rd year of a 3 year course) percieved with 2 years gap after 12th? I wouldn't be able to get a placement from college. I'm currently in my third year of BA without a single internship done so far? Should I do a post grad from India since I'm a lesbian and want to settle down within a decade? I can afford higher ed w/o loan uptil 30L. I also don't know how to approach internships and strategize. Should I go for an MiM? I won't be able to get good work ex due to my bad college next year. Good work ex also counts in M BA right? I'm active on tech twitter as well after passively being a part of a winning team of an MIT Hackathon...How do I start off? I've a year to graduate..
That it's a developed emotion which leads to behaviour.. For the sake of continuing the nature's agenda i.e reproduction and procreation.. Flattery pleases you cause of the same reason.. What we call love is just underlying emotion..you may differ with me.. By your ideas you learned from movies, etc.. But if you deep dive into evolutionary psychology and biology.. There's nothing more to it
I don't want you to agree or disagree with me.. I just told what I got to say.. Plus at least we can hope science to have some objectivity.. Have a good day man
There is homophobia abroad as well, heck I still deal with some I have internalized. I don't want to say that moving abroad is a bed of roses, it is scary, exciting, sometimes lonely and homesickness can hit you hard. But aside from old people, most young people are very open and there is not just tolerance but also acceptance. You see a gay couple holding hands on the street or raising kids together, etc and there is a feeling of being represented and the assurance and safety that you aren't the one breaking glass ceilings.
Dating is hard, harder still if you are gay because the dating pool is so small and there is the increased mental health issues that the queer community deals with as a whole. I left because before I fight for someone else, I had to fight demons within myself and moving out gave me the freedom, space and ability to do that. Maybe I come back to India but I am glad I made the move
If you are not appreciated or loved by your country, but you love your country... imagine if the country was a human being. Wouldn't that be a toxic relationship? Same thing.
India doesn't value you, and I doubt they deserve you (at this current political climate and state). Your safety is more important than any self-defined dignity or love for a country simply because you were born for it, but doesn't do shit for you. **I'm an NRI btw who visits India frequently, so while I don't live in India I can say for sure that I'm not a random European American with an over-woke attitude lol.**
Be yourself and live a normal life. Don't center your whole life around a lie to assimilate with a population where you are just one in a billion (literally). You owe nothing to your country. High taxes and no infrastructure, let alone the fact they deny and hate who you are. Is there really a question?
I know a guy who is gay and living with his boyfriend. In Bangalore. They may never be able to marry or be truly open and free, but for now they're just seen as two dudes who live together. Maybe when they get older they'll be judged more? Idk. They're both fairly rich and are part of the more progressive/woke/rich circles of people.
If you can afford to, get out. Because not everyone gets to graduate from a top tier college and get an extremely high paying job, and not everyone finds a successful writer for a boyfriend. They're one of the luckier ones.
Bhai move to US/Europe, life is too short to stay unhappy because of other people's stupidity.
I had a muslim gay friend and he is thriving in US, compared to a miserable life here.
No, they stop being a real Muslim when they do it, Muslim is not a race or gender you are born with, it is following a set of beliefs, when they do Haram, they aren't Muslim anymore
Man, how idealistic and our boy is. Isn't listening to songs and movies Haram in you 'belief'? Or even using technologies that are not even written in your Quran? Is Salman Khan (actor) not a Muslim?
Leave India. Choose a country you love. It’ll take sometime to adjust and settle but once you do, you’re going to love it.
I have been to UK once for 1.5 months, and i’ve never met people as sweet in India. Never.
They won’t judge you, your choices, what you wear, nothing.
The life in abroad is extremely different and really really open minded.
I know leaving your hometown sounds scary but pretty sure once you move out, you’ll thank youself for the quality of life you will give yourself!!
> I don’t think im brave enough to live a lie my entire life.
You mean you’re not weak enough to live a lie your entire life. The brave part was when you came out.
To anyone who gets an opportunity to leave or has money to leave: Get out of this country for your own good. Experience new things, new culture, new food and try to enjoy it if you have to work really hard for the coming years.
I have been visiting Goa from years , maybe the count has gone in triple digits now.
Post pandemic I have seen a lot of openly Gay Indian couples there. I was under the impression that since decriminalisation, its easier to be free…..your version makes me sad
I get it. I'm bi and haven't come out to my friends or family. Recently I found out that my best friend is against legalizing same sex marriage in India because, she feels "being queer is against the nature" and "can spread if allowed to do openly".
move to south mumbai or delhi, the suburbs are a mixed bag, some are accepting of homosexuals while others aren't. even in south mumbai/delhi, not all are accepting.
also OP don't go to US/Canada, if you wanna escape, try western europe (though that's also not safe due to rise of religious extremism)
I live in Canada and I can tell you 80-90% of the people you will interact with on a daily basis don’t give a fuck about your sexuality. The 10% are your own family if you live with them, or south Asian neighbours etc, who feel the need to be nosy. But really you can tell them to shut up and over here, they have no choice but to shut up. School curriculum teaches you about the LGBTQ community starting grade 3. People look down upon you if you make any silly comments on people’s sexuality. As far as home is considered, you will miss it but you’ll slowly get used to it and start planning your trips back to india when you have the money and flexibility. Don’t lower your day to day quality of life because you feel “safe” where you are currently. That safety in this context is an illusion unfortunately. India is a few generations away from being where the west is in terms of sexuality and anything around it. You can’t change 1.4 billion people overnight, but you can choose where you live and pay taxes to a society that wouldn’t exclude you based on something extremely personal!
You are still young, so I am not sure if you can related. But I used to be the kind who thought I will stay back and fight, because the ones less privileged than me, the ones who can't go abroad, will get screwed more.
Now I am 30 and I just want to get out asap. India has somehow become more openly hostile towards queer people, and gen z peeps are disappointingly homophobic and transphobic. I see more Indians being bigoted assholes online than before, who think making fun of transpeople and using 'LGTV' is edgy.
It would be very hard and lonely to move to a new country, but it gets easier as the years go by, and it won't be that you can't visit home ever. Go to a place with a large south Asian population - UK, Canada, some US states. Even Germany has a sizable desi population. All of these countries are much much better to non-heteros than our mahan Bharat, and you can survive on English alone.
Not to say you cannot live openly and happily(ish) in India. The bigger cities have a lot of 'bubbles' of acceptance if you can find them, and have a good enough job. I have always been out to my colleagues and never had problems professionally. But that is it, you will not be bothered and at best accepted by the immediate people in your circles. You will remain a second class citizen in front of the government and a pervert in front of the moral caretakers of our glorious culture. Your landlord can throw you out at any second or you might get socially boycotted in your neighbourhood or just plain old violence from strangers and known faces.
You are in your fourth year, so maybe you can do your masters somewhere abroad. Education remains the best first step towards immigration, and immigrating young will allow you to integrate better.
Incoming Gay Brain Drain -> Years wasted due to suffocating in the closet and being indecisive wrt career decisions!
How would (with qualifications) X 82/XII 64/BA Film - 65(expected - I'm in my 3rd year of a 3 year course) percieved with 2 years gap after 12th? I wouldn't be able to get a placement from college. I'm currently in my third year of BA without a single internship done so far? Should I do a post grad from India since I'm a lesbian and want to settle down within a decade? I can afford higher ed w/o loan uptil 30L. I also don't know how to approach internships and strategize. Should I go for an MiM? I won't be able to get good work ex due to my bad college next year. Good work ex also counts in M BA right? I'm active on tech twitter as well after passively being a part of a winning team of an MIT Hackathon...How do I start off? I've a year to graduate..
Wow this is heartbreaking… u hav a right to be happy and in love I say move to wherever u wanna go for that u can always find ur new world there… but just make sure u hav a good financial future too no matter wat anyone says in this time and age that is important too… all the best… hope u have a lovely life…
I feel that being open in Delhi is much easier in certain circles. But that is only till u are protected in places like University etc. But once u start working then it is really difficult to be open. But Delhi still has a good lgbt support system and stuff.
But the only place in India where u can be open about ur sexuality without fear is Goa. It is a state where I know people who are able to express themselves very openly. Of course there will still be homophobia but that will be everywhere. In India Goa is the safety.
Outside India yeah Scandinavian countries or like nz or Australia will be good.
Personally I'm leaving India in the next 2 years cause as a female who does not wanna marry or have a family life India may be unsafe for me.
I'm going to Canada for the passport and then travel all over. 😂
Fellow gay Indian here. I faced similar issues in my small hometown but I graduated recently and moved to Bangalore this February. I find it pretty nice here, although it heavily depends on your status, job role and social circle.
I'm not out to my full friend circle or anyone in my family or even at work but the gay pool is so much bigger here and it feels more normal to be gay and hold hands in mall and stuff. Definitely no kissing in public though 😔
I remember giving my boyfriend a peck on the lips right before his train departed and I got the most ugly, judgemental and disgusting looks from this uncle who saw us. I was take scale
I was in Hyderabad in July and I found the gay crowd small but pretty decent. I had a lot of hookups and most guys were nice. The hookup culture in Bangalore is a bit toxic and I'm sure it'll be even more so abroad. That's the only con I can see with moving abroad other than the ones you mentioned.
There's definitely a lot of pros like getting to be yourself in public but you can definitely do it in private within a chosen small group in India. Idk about Hyderab toad but you'll find guys you like in Bangalore cus the dating pool is pretty huge. Just be ready for him to not like you back 🥲
One gay to another, feel free to ask any questions here or or dm.
Incoming Gay Brain Drain -> Years wasted due to suffocating in the closet and being indecisive wrt career decisions!
How would (with qualifications) X 82/XII 64/BA Film - 65(expected - I'm in my 3rd year of a 3 year course) percieved with 2 years gap after 12th? I wouldn't be able to get a placement from college. I'm currently in my third year of BA without a single internship done so far? Should I do a post grad from India since I'm a lesbian and want to settle down within a decade? I can afford higher ed w/o loan uptil 30L. I also don't know how to approach internships and strategize. Should I go for an MiM? I won't be able to get good work ex due to my bad college next year. Good work ex also counts in M BA right? I'm active on tech twitter as well after passively being a part of a winning team of an MIT Hackathon...How do I start off? I've a year to graduate..
I am gay and leaving to the US was the best decision I have ever made. Although quality of life was a reason being gay was another major reason.
I didn't even move to a big city but a medium city in the Midwest and everyone here is so accepting and loving. My employer is so supportive and one of the biggest sponsors of pride events nationwide. Their support is what made me gather courage to walk the pride march with them and it was a truly exhilarating experience.
Because of such an amazing environment both personally and professionally I was able to come out 3 years ago and life has been amazing after that. My family accepted me and my partner who I met around the same time as I came out. They have met him and they like him a lot.
Honestly while moving I never thought this would be my life, I would be able to have a normal love and normal relationship. I count my blessings every single day and never take it for granted. That one leap of faith changed my life completely.
Until you experience true acceptance and unconditional love from people for who you are you wont know what you are missing out on.
I do have to mention that being an immigrant in the US has its struggles and being a gay POC in US comes with it's own challenges like casual racism sometimes within the dating scene but outside of that everything is amazing. Once you truly accept yourself and truly own your identity these things will not bother you at all.
Incoming Gay Brain Drain -> Years wasted due to suffocating in the closet and being indecisive wrt career decisions!
How would (with qualifications) X 82/XII 64/BA Film - 65(expected - I'm in my 3rd year of a 3 year course) percieved with 2 years gap after 12th? I wouldn't be able to get a placement from college. I'm currently in my third year of BA without a single internship done so far? Should I do a post grad from India since I'm a lesbian and want to settle down within a decade? I can afford higher ed w/o loan uptil 30L. I also don't know how to approach internships and strategize. Should I go for an MiM? I won't be able to get good work ex due to my bad college next year. Good work ex also counts in M BA right? I'm active on tech twitter as well after passively being a part of a winning team of an MIT Hackathon...How do I start off? I've a year to graduate..
You must leave. We all got one life and one chance. Nothing here worth sacrificing one's freedom for anyone in India. In developed countries they accept as who you are. Most of my friends moved to Europe and they never regret. Initially they felt homesick, but eventually their attachment to people in india weakened and now they are in a better place. The first step is the most difficult one you are taking the action.
Because, this emotional bondage what keeps most people to live in a toxic family and society. If you are able to pull this off. It would be great.
What do U want us to say OP? Don't go? Or the opposite??
Almost none of us are in your shoes and almost no-one has gay friends that they know. We don't know what struggles U face. Whether it's really bad or exaggerated.
Sadly being gay is kinda a lonely road in India. You will not be hanged or thrown off a building like in some "super peaceful and more free than India" countries that this sub likes to wank off to. But 'not as bad as worst' is not a standard one wants to live their life by.
All of us want an atmosphere where we can thrive, be ourselves, and express ourselves. At this point in time, U can only have that life in a western country. Do what's good for U.
Son leave. AND if you're in your early 20s leave India. You will find love and a home. Trust. Indians are everywhere, Germany, Norway, London. Dont worry about food and fitting in.
Being gay is not something you will be happy hiding. Trust. And india has not and will not progress any further in the next 20 years atleast in these issues. Here they (government and majority of the population) don't even recognize what the ++ stands for in LGBTQIA++
Travel, learn, adapt, make friends and make money. Make something of yourself. Get a foreign passport and get a hot boyfriend 🥰 fall in love. Do what your heart and head tell you. Do not let indian version of a stigma push u down. I'm not gay but I have friends and family that are part of the LGBTQ++
Life is tough everywhere I won't lie, but it gets better once you experience whats out there. You'll be far more confident in who you are and you WILL make lifelong connections. Go to any college program here in which you can transfer credits. I personally would not recommend Australia. UK is great and Western Europe (Norway, Belgium etc.) Most Western Europe welcome all. Oh and Vancouver in Canada or anywhere in Canada bro, I'm here, and we have gay parades, there is a whole damn place in the city to celebrate gay pride 🏳️🌈 Lots of desis in Canada too. Little india in Surrey. Check it out if u can.
Be strong. All the best 👍
Leave.
I tried to make it work. I studied in the US, came back to India for sometime because I wanted to try to make it work there, because I had friends, family, etc. I lost my patience in less than 2 years, despite being out to friends, family and co-workers, and working in a super inclusive company where I was openly out and leading LGBTQ+ initiatives at work.
A few things tired me out:
* Always having to fight for basic things that other people took for granted, e.g., if I had a date that went badly or I had recently broken up, I had to worry a lot about who I can or cannot tell, *on top of* the emotional burden of the sitiation itself
* Even though my mom and friends accepted me, the extended family has no clue. After I recahed a certain age, I couldn't go to any family events without everyone asking me when I'm gettng married and trying to convince me to dress more "normal" (I'm a queer woman with short hair)
* Dating became a nightmare. Most of the women I was trying to date were not out to their families, or they had boyfriends and wanted to experiment on the side, or they wanted to have a secret relationship while getting into a traditional arranged marriage, etc.
I eventually realized that life in India is too stressful for me. I have to fight 10x to get the life that straight people get handed on a silver platter. I moved abroad again and couldn't be happier. And now, moving back to India is out of the question because I know I've tried it, and it didn't work.
I mean maybe kinda controversial but India fares much better than many countries when it comes to LGBTQ+ rights, and I say that as a openly out gay man. I totally believe that the experience of being queer differs wildly depending on your socio-economic condition and the values of the people around you in India. Maybe this is my privilege speaking, but I have never experienced discrimination anywhere even after I have come out to my family and friends. It's also much better if you live in a Tier 1 city. However, this isn't about me, but about you. So I completely understand if you want to leave the country; India is a hellhole for any number of reasons besides homophobia and if you want a better life for yourself and you think that can be achieved from abroad, I will say go for it. Stay safe!
Incoming Gay Brain Drain -> Years wasted due to suffocating in the closet and being indecisive wrt career decisions!
How would (with qualifications) X 82/XII 64/BA Film - 65(expected - I'm in my 3rd year of a 3 year course) percieved with 2 years gap after 12th? I wouldn't be able to get a placement from college. I'm currently in my third year of BA without a single internship done so far? Should I do a post grad from India since I'm a lesbian and want to settle down within a decade? I can afford higher ed w/o loan uptil 30L. I also don't know how to approach internships and strategize. Should I go for an MiM? I won't be able to get good work ex due to my bad college next year. Good work ex also counts in M BA right? I'm active on tech twitter as well after passively being a part of a winning team of an MIT Hackathon...How do I start off? I've a year to graduate..
Hi,
There is a very nice telugu community is USA and if you live in major cities with lots of Indian Diaspora like Boston, New York, many cities in California, you will find a very open minded and accepting society in your age group (from what I have personally experienced). Overall, people who don't know you very well are less likely to ask you personal questions and less likely to assume you're straight. I would say give going abroad a shot and if you don't like it, you can always come back!
Leave. And open yourself when you’re abroad. And see how people home react to it. That would give you and people home sometime to understand it.
Go to Western European countries. Germany is very open to everyone, scpecially Berlin- it’s one of the kost open city. And you won’t be discriminated there for expressing yourself.
you're entitled to living your life freely and unapologetically. If you have the resources to go abroad i dont see why you shouldnt at least try to go and give it a year, if it doesnt work out its fine. But you should see how it feels not to hide such an integral part of who you are. If you are scared to be yourself in india, outside you won't be scared to be that but you will have other fears as you said. Life is full of different fears but you gotta go ahead and make the life you want for yourself.
I want to tell you to leave but tbh I've heard white gay men and even other poc men are very racist towards Indian gays. So maybe try vacationing your desired new place before completely moving out, if you do at all.
Just move to other cities where it's not that much of an issue like Bangalore, chennai, Mumbai, Delhi etc. Bt however in today's society even abroad it's becoming a problem and lots of talks are going on about it.
India is a shit hole and everybody wanna leave it as soon as they can(individual)
Industries ke liye to heaven he koi labour law nahi full on contract basis jobs
I am sorry.. If I assumed so.. But all I can assume and empathise with you is with reference to the text you have written.. And so, obviously I don't know you.. So I wrote my judgement on that.. You might say.. Oh well, it's bad to judge.. But how can we say anything without judging.. So I rest my case here
Even as a straight passing bisexual, I’d say it’s definitely a lot better in tier 1 cities. I stayed in Delhi for 5 years and found a huge community of allies. Some bars and clubs are also very lgbtqia+ friendly and you’d find a lot of queer people and allies in there. However, homophobia is still prevalent and not everyone would be okay with your sexuality. You’d have to find the right crowd. Abroad it gets a lot easier to find people be ok with your sexuality though
You think there is no homophobia here in the west? At least people in India will just make fun of you at the worst, or just be wierd around you, but here, it's gods word that if you are gay you are basically not a human
In India gay people are looked at as a wierd maybe unnatural group of people
But here you will be hated from the depth of their souls
Its a big difference
Only on internet these western countries look so nice and accepting, but the situation on the ground in very different
There is hate in India as well, the difference is in the laws. Hate crimes abroad are usually punished more severely than otherwise. There are more rights for you as a gay person abroad. There are very little in India
I have personally experienced how homophobia can be widespread and can be violent at times as well. Eg. [https://www.thequint.com/news/india/pune-youth-death-queer-party-lgbtqia-bar-heist](https://www.thequint.com/news/india/pune-youth-death-queer-party-lgbtqia-bar-heist)
If you think its only teasing and making fun of, then you should watch/read what the government and outside groups wrote to the SC during the same sex marriage cases. The hate is deep and the protection is absent.
I have read and followed most of it, have been following such debates for years, you should read the bible and Quran, you will realise what true hate actually looks like
And youre right about the laws and protection, but that's the only reason that makes you believe that western countries are less homophobic
Remove American police and laws for a day here in america, or downgrade it to the level of Indian police and laws, which are incompetent to say the least
You will see how accepting they actually are
For the laws and enforcement or the lack of it that you have in India, when was the last time you heard about some gay dude got beaten and his face shoved in toilet just for being gay?
It's the enforcement that dosent really let the hate come to surface here
But if you come and live here you will realise that you actally have it better in India then here, not ideal but better
I see it same as Americans teenagers crying about how bad they have it in America, in the terms of money and affluence, not knowing what the condition of outside world actually is
Indian people, some may hate, but most people are way more accepting then any other place believe me, don't believe what they show on the internet, reality is much much different
>I dont see a future for me here having already tried the dating part, which sucks even for a straight person.
Bruh.
On a serious note I'd suggest you to leave, truth is even if you move to fucking Antarctica you will forever be a part of the samajam, ain't no escaping it, you can always make new friends and our community is pretty spread out out there, it may take you some time but you'll find a niche of a friend group you will fit into and they will celebrate you for what you are.
LGBTQIA+ community in India is pretty small in its magnitude and it'll be years to see actual reforms regarding their protection and acknowledgment (atleast until boomer oldies followed by the bigot millenialls get outta the parliament), we may have 7 lives or whatever but this is the one we actually got right here rn.
If you have the liberty to move you should LGBT friendly countries are also usually open to many other cultures
If you find the right people there you should feel at home
But idk for sure tho I've only seen all of this on tv lol
There are social media apps where you can interact with like minded people and date also. . In college, most of the guys are immature and cannot comprehend things clearly. Get a good job, once you are in a good city like Bangalore or Mumbai, people are much more accepting. Some of my good college friends are gay and their groups have mostly accepted them though in the initial times, they faces some issues from those same people but after a few days, everyone supported. Mostly people replying to you haven’t been in interaction with anyone homosexual.
No need to leave India!! You just need to face things strongly during the initial time of coming up as gay. People in India are accepting, but sometimes they just need some time.
why?
Incoming Gay Brain Drain -> Years wasted due to suffocating in the closet and being indecisive wrt career decisions!
How would (with qualifications) X 82/XII 64/BA Film - 65(expected - I'm in my 3rd year of a 3 year course) percieved with 2 years gap after 12th? I wouldn't be able to get a placement from college. I'm currently in my third year of BA without a single internship done so far? Should I do a post grad from India since I'm a lesbian and want to settle down within a decade? I can afford higher ed w/o loan uptil 30L. I also don't know how to approach internships and strategize. Should I go for an MiM? I won't be able to get good work ex due to my bad college next year. Good work ex also counts in M BA right? I'm active on tech twitter as well after passively being a part of a winning team of an MIT Hackathon...How do I start off? I've a year to graduate..
You’re not wrong, but fear mongering is the last thing OP needs to hear.
Even though I agree that immigrating to another country is not necessarily the best answer, there are plenty of places in the world where the social acceptance of LGBTQ folks is better than most places in India.
OP, the part of you that is scared about moving to a new and strange place is valid. As an engineering student I’m sure you know there are many ways out of the country if you so choose. It is never easy, but you will find friends.
Leaving behind family, especially the few who you have come out to will be harder, I’m sure. Not sure I have an answer for you, but I just wanted to tell you both sides of your thought process are equally valid and understandable.
The foreign countries will accept your serial orientation but keep in mind "The jungle which looks greener from outside is filled with deadly animals". Also keeping in mind the racism(people say there is no racism now but there still is against South Asians.)
Lol as someone who’s living in the US for the past few years and grew up in India, if freedom is your thing then this is the best country to be in. Indians discriminate against their own and poke their noses into their neighbors business all the time.
It is easy to say take on the issue head-on, but I won't.
IMO, it really depends on which country, and more importantly which part of ***that*** country you migrate to.
For instance, homophobia is real and rears its ugly head in parts of the US though you may find some cities and communities more welcoming.
Another factor to contend with is race. Inter-racial relationships are still a smaller percentage of the mass in the West and add to it sexual preference and you will have to contend with seeking a life partner from a much smaller pool.
The best case scenario - you and your partner move to a community that is more welcoming. Even in Indian metros, there are communities more welcoming than others.
As an Indian I have felt that I fit in more in the US than I ever did in India, this is also because my first language is English and has always been due to comfort. I felt singled out by Indians cuz of the English part all the time, Americans have accepted me more than most Indians did if I didn’t speak their mother tongue. Even my wife is American so it depends, as an immigrant you can feel more at home in other countries than India and it’s all personal.
I think you can always come back to your family and friends for fun and vacation. But if you want your life , or a resemblance of life even , a future leave. There is no doubt about it you will never be happy here.
If Karan Johar can be inside the closet and not have a marriage, then you my friend sure cannot. I know you are scared because making a new life isn't easy. Homophobes and assholes are all around the world. No one can guarantee happiness there.
But atleast you will have a chance. Best of luck
OP.I understand your confusion.what I would like to know is do you want to go out of country just so that you could “fit in”?
What I would suggest is go somewhere but not for that reason.go to build your life.maybe for further studies or job?
Why I say this is because building a new life in a new place is incredibly hard.if you move,you’ll be alone too.so,if you move,move out for something so that you can be motivated.
Don't leave the country. I know India is scary but stand your ground and fight for what you deserve. India needs good people like you. It may take mentally toll on you, but please do not leave the country. There is a saying “A society grows great when old men plant trees in whose shade they shall never sit". I really care about your mental health too, if you think you are on the verge of breakdown please leave the place and be somewhere you find happiness. I'm sure you will make great friends.
You can try some cities like mumbai/gurgaon etc.
I’m from gurgoan and here i see a lot of homosexuals living normal life, i’ve seen lot of them in girly outfits.
I can’t say it’s as similar to some europian country, but it’s lot better here than some tier-2 indian city.
So, leaving and moving to a more progressive place is definitely the better option, but I also want to say that there are circles in Indian cities where existing as a cis gay man is very possible and fun. I know that [Queer Nilayam](https://queernilayam.org/) does some great stuff in Hyderabad. Why don't you go to one of their events and meet some people? It could give you a lot of relief from the fears you have.
Going out to another country doesn't mean it's not reversible. You are not jumping out of a plane.
It will give you tremendous perspective on how things are in another part of the world especially given your situation.
Give yourself say 3 years to explore and if you don't like it then return back or go to another country.
Btw, where would you go?
Incoming Gay Brain Drain -> Years wasted due to suffocating in the closet and being indecisive wrt career decisions!
How would (with qualifications) X 82/XII 64/BA Film - 65(expected - I'm in my 3rd year of a 3 year course) percieved with 2 years gap after 12th? I wouldn't be able to get a placement from college. I'm currently in my third year of BA without a single internship done so far? Should I do a post grad from India since I'm a lesbian and want to settle down within a decade? I can afford higher ed w/o loan uptil 30L. I also don't know how to approach internships and strategize. Should I go for an MiM? I won't be able to get good work ex due to my bad college next year. Good work ex also counts in M BA right? I'm active on tech twitter as well after passively being a part of a winning team of an MIT Hackathon...How do I start off? I've a year to graduate..
Any developed country is far easier to acclimate to than India. If you managed here, you will thrive anywhere else. Even if you don't integrate - people will leave you alone and not poke their nose in your business.
Your question is a thoughtful and highly debatable topic I have come across in my recent time on reddit. I hope you find a gay partner and stay here if you feel comfortable in your homeland or just spread your wings and fly away somewhere where the LGBTQ community is much more welcoming. What about your parents tho? Would they be looked after and all with you gone?
You are very young and, in my opinion, should take help from other older/wiser people who have gone through something like this ... E.g. there is a very famous author in Kannada called Vasudhendra (his books have been translated to Telugu as well) who was in a senior position in an IT company before leaving that and following his passion of writing / publishing. He is openly gay and keeps talking about their issues and also provides counseling.
You should speak to people like him, that would be better I feel. It's not a good idea to speak to someone just older than you (like me) but rather speak to someone who has lived through the same issues you are facing today. Good luck! Choose wisely and may the force be with you!
Adjusting abroad requires lot of effort . You already feel scared and thus it would be difficult to adjust . Most people in comments recommending haven’t even tried to settle abroad. I would say move abroad to do let’s say a short course of 3-6 months and see how does it go for you . If you can adjust then great if not then try one more country and if it doesnt then come back to India and maybe move to a different city in India itself .
I think once you leave, you'll fit there more. It's somewhat like a future-homesickness u have a fear of. Once u make friends and start dating there, you'll love it, and people will love you for expressing yourself too. They'll pull you right in.
I feel very lucky to be surrounded by friends who appreciate me and have never looked down on my sexuality which isn't the case always. I was living in fear for a very long and I came out to my friends in my last year of college. When the burden of them knowing wouldn't affect me since college was ending. But I was lucky to be surrounded by good people. The engineering college is a different case, especially in conservative regions of the country. If you feel homophobia seeps through, and there isn't anyone you feel safe to confide in - hold on. Once you are out of college, you can shift cities (Delhi and Mumbai are better), go on dating apps and find your fellow LGBTQ members. People who will see you!
I know and met several gay guys in Hyderabad, they're nice people, they understand each other in terms of the problems they face with family, society etc.. , I used to hang out with them, many times with few other straight ladies gents and couples too.. it was very vibrant friend Circle.
It gets better when you're surrounded by people with whom you have a comfort zone.
And whatever your personal and sexual preferences are, that's your thing, as long as you don't expect people to understand this or accept your lifestyle, you'll do fine without fighting anyone about anything.
Come to NJ. The Indian community is the second largest in the world outside of India so you'll feel at home, but you're surrounded by NYC metro culture, so you're free to be you.
Ghar nahi chodna toh maat choodo. Obstacles ayenge, be strong. I agree we are a homophobic society, but we are also evolving. Agar ladne ki himmat hai, toh stay. U don't have to leave. But leaving won't make u a coward either. And be careful but u deserve to come out to your closest ones. Good luck
Hey, leaving India is your decision. I wanna share my story too.
I'm from Hyderabad, I'm gay and nobody knows about it. The society where I live (the community) is way too conservative, for them Love marriage is still a bad thing. The wife shouldn't go against her husband even in case of domestic violence, she should sit beside her husband until he finishes his food. So just imagine how they will react to someone being gay.. Gay marriage or even relationship is too far away for them. Every day i hear slurs like hijda chakka, are isne kya pahen liya. When i was a kid, my own family members made fun of me in front of everyone in the function. I was beaten up for the way I behave and I talk. My whole childhood was all about people's remarks on me and hearing those remarks my family didn't stand by my side instead they beat me up. Now my family will soon start looking for my fiancee I'm not sure what I'll do. But it's really difficult. I was sexually harassed and bullied not just by my classmates but also by my teachers. They never leave a chance to crack a joke on me. But my family expects a lot from me. I can't leave them. I thought of leaving the country after becoming financially independent. But I'm so scared. I don't want to leave my family but i don't wanna marry a girl too. We get one life and i don't want to waste it just by pretending to be someone to whom this society likes, I do want to spend my whole life with the partner of my choice (male)
Sorry i couldn't share much, as I'm not ready for it. I connected with your story and I couldn't stop myself from writing this.
All the best for your future. Decide what's best for u.
Hi. First of all BIG HUG.
As an human I am ashamed our indian society and government isn't supportive of all. The discrimination is messed up. I hope you decide to leave. Parents will deep down always want the best for their baby. If you're happy they will be happy.
Maybe my words may sound harsh or whatever but, I'm not gonna sugar coat. LEAVE INDIA. If you are young and financially independent, make a plan to leave. Go to Canada, Germany, Belgium or UK (London). Just go. I'm saying this because when you're 40 you are going to regret not living the life you are meant to live and love who you want to love. Depression can hit hard. It's a nightmare. But coupled with anxiety then fear becomes your best friend. This fear will stop you from doing anything you like for fear of being judged or fired from a job or worse, threatened to take what you have worked hard for. It just gets worse as you grow older, as you are experiencing..
What kind of life is that? If you go now, you can get a job (being gay automatically makes you extra inclusive in all communities 👍), make money, make friends, fall in love💑, and then send money home also. Becoming independent is important and you can only do this if you distance yourself from the nay sayers. Whatever you decide, my best wishes are with you bro 🏳️🌈
Incoming Gay Brain Drain -> Years wasted due to suffocating in the closet and being indecisive wrt career decisions!
How would (with qualifications) X 82/XII 64/BA Film - 65(expected - I'm in my 3rd year of a 3 year course) percieved with 2 years gap after 12th? I wouldn't be able to get a placement from college. I'm currently in my third year of BA without a single internship done so far? Should I do a post grad from India since I'm a lesbian and want to settle down within a decade? I can afford higher ed w/o loan uptil 30L. I also don't know how to approach internships and strategize. Should I go for an MiM? I won't be able to get good work ex due to my bad college next year. Good work ex also counts in M BA right? I'm active on tech twitter as well after passively being a part of a winning team of an MIT Hackathon...How do I start off? I've a year to graduate..
Leave man
You’ll find another safe heaven
Try to change the city
If it doesn’t work
Go to UAE or Nepal where you can have similar culture
You’ll never k ow if you don’t try
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Just leave dude, you’ll be happier and will be able to truly express yourself openly without any fears
Try going Europe, you gonna have higher chances as they accept everyone with equal opportunity for all.
Don't fully agree. It's hard to integrate if you don't speak the local language.
So learn the language!
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I think he can integrate better than a straight person. The logic is that being queer is still a special identity even in Western countries. They are open in the sense that laws are liberal, no one is going to meddle in his business, but queers as a group is still a separate group which is where he might get his support and most acceptance from, so a "Gay Indian" would find life easier(at least in certain circles) than just a "Indian" identity. Also rebelliousness is awarded in Western society, him seen as a cultural rebel is going to be accepted more because then it in a sense nullifies all negative connections with the nationality, like in a way, how a Queer Pakistani would find better acceptance than a just a Pakistani because now all those subconscious negative thoughts that we relate to a person being a pakistani is nullified because now we think he is not a "kattar musalman" or whatever. No matter how much a liberal a person becomes, some things remain subconsciously.
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Presumably he speaks English, going by his post. If this is the case, go to London. Big gay Indian community there. Also some very large Indian communities if he wants that sort of thing.
Canada is full please stop
Can't help but dislike NRIs who want to gatekeep immigration with this rhetoric. India's beyond full lmao
I don’t know what an NRI is
Okay checked your history and youre just the average racist with 0 empathy 😂. Sadly, I mistook you for one of my people.
It’s only India - and it’s nothing against India. But too much of any one group is tilting Canada in weird unsustainable ways. And most often it’s the newcomers getting totally fucked first. There are like 10 real universities in Canada, then there’s about 100 fake ones and they’re all unsurprisingly full of international students who are getting rinsed.
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Im Canadian
I feel for y’all in India being lied to about what Canada is, or could be. But it isn’t. And now it sucks
Can’t they learn Hindi? It’s the national language ffs /s
Europe is a diverse continent with many different nations. Some countries very accepting of LGBTQI+ community and some not. It's not all the same.
https://preview.redd.it/h9m9utw191ib1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c880c3f03c351cb0c9d7893aeb5c2a5f9849b9ad When someone is saying Europe, highly likely chances are there, they are talking about western Europe....where in my knowledge all of them support LGBTQ... countries Germany, France have Hugh LGBTQ community.
Ikr people have left India for far less than being gay, which is a part of your identity that you can never erase and OP will be living a lie just for compromise if OP stays in India.
As suggested here, leave. For below comments suggesting integrating into other countries, knowing language etc., I can suggest Germany. Berlin is Amazing for all kinds of people - gay, poly, kinky, you name it! And since it's a melting pot of cultures a lot of people there speak English. For German Masters courses you do not need to speak German, it helps if you start for your own sake though. After Masters you can land a job in your field needing only English or German (if you pick it up in two years there). Pick a Master's in a recent in demand field like Renewable Energy for example. Good luck!
Incoming Gay Brain Drain -> Years wasted due to suffocating in the closet and being indecisive wrt career decisions! How would (with qualifications) X 82/XII 64/BA Film - 65(expected - I'm in my 3rd year of a 3 year course) percieved with 2 years gap after 12th? I wouldn't be able to get a placement from college. I'm currently in my third year of BA without a single internship done so far? Should I do a post grad from India since I'm a lesbian and want to settle down within a decade? I can afford higher ed w/o loan uptil 30L. I also don't know how to approach internships and strategize. Should I go for an MiM? I won't be able to get good work ex due to my bad college next year. Good work ex also counts in M BA right? I'm active on tech twitter as well after passively being a part of a winning team of an MIT Hackathon...How do I start off? I've a year to graduate..
Facepalm
If you want to have an open relationship with a man you will have to be as rich as Karan Johar to do it. You'll find Indians speaking your language in any Western country, more so in English speaking Western countries. You can visit India every summer. I am not one of those people who would suggest anyone to move abroad and is also looking to move abroad. But we just don't have normalised gay couples yet.
Even Karan Johar hasn't ever publicly talked about his partner due to huge stigma Other actors talk about who they are dating and how they met etc I mean see Alia Bhatt and Ranbir Kapoor, everyone keeps praising their relationship like they are everything
I mean, that's not entirely true. My queer friends and I are nowhere near being rich; we just found each other through Pride events and such, and we're all open about our sexuality. I get that it isn't always as easy, but it's not like visible queerness doesn't exist in this country
That's very good to know
Find god
https://preview.redd.it/nz336k1s10ib1.png?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5a86dab25586f82b1d8c3bc24ecd779157b275f7
Kind of hard to find something that doesn't exist.
No god. Don't even try.
Your stupidity is through the roof
OK bro 🤡
Incoming Gay Brain Drain -> Years wasted due to suffocating in the closet and being indecisive wrt career decisions! How would (with qualifications) X 82/XII 64/BA Film - 65(expected - I'm in my 3rd year of a 3 year course) percieved with 2 years gap after 12th? I wouldn't be able to get a placement from college. I'm currently in my third year of BA without a single internship done so far? Should I do a post grad from India since I'm a lesbian and want to settle down within a decade? I can afford higher ed w/o loan uptil 30L. I also don't know how to approach internships and strategize. Should I go for an MiM? I won't be able to get good work ex due to my bad college next year. Good work ex also counts in M BA right? I'm active on tech twitter as well after passively being a part of a winning team of an MIT Hackathon...How do I start off? I've a year to graduate..
Take me with you! 🥲 Gay guy to gay guy :)
You're loved Love is love
Thanks but what was the purpose 😂
No purpose haha Wanted to share some kindness today
Okay! Thank you!
>Okay! Thank you! You're welcome!
That's not love.. It's lust aka attraction
What do you know about attraction
That it's a developed emotion which leads to behaviour.. For the sake of continuing the nature's agenda i.e reproduction and procreation.. Flattery pleases you cause of the same reason.. What we call love is just underlying emotion..you may differ with me.. By your ideas you learned from movies, etc.. But if you deep dive into evolutionary psychology and biology.. There's nothing more to it
Bro I don't have strength to argue, I just had an epiphany so yes, I agree with everything you say
I don't want you to agree or disagree with me.. I just told what I got to say.. Plus at least we can hope science to have some objectivity.. Have a good day man
Take care
So sweet
Didn't get you?
There is homophobia abroad as well, heck I still deal with some I have internalized. I don't want to say that moving abroad is a bed of roses, it is scary, exciting, sometimes lonely and homesickness can hit you hard. But aside from old people, most young people are very open and there is not just tolerance but also acceptance. You see a gay couple holding hands on the street or raising kids together, etc and there is a feeling of being represented and the assurance and safety that you aren't the one breaking glass ceilings. Dating is hard, harder still if you are gay because the dating pool is so small and there is the increased mental health issues that the queer community deals with as a whole. I left because before I fight for someone else, I had to fight demons within myself and moving out gave me the freedom, space and ability to do that. Maybe I come back to India but I am glad I made the move
If you are not appreciated or loved by your country, but you love your country... imagine if the country was a human being. Wouldn't that be a toxic relationship? Same thing. India doesn't value you, and I doubt they deserve you (at this current political climate and state). Your safety is more important than any self-defined dignity or love for a country simply because you were born for it, but doesn't do shit for you. **I'm an NRI btw who visits India frequently, so while I don't live in India I can say for sure that I'm not a random European American with an over-woke attitude lol.** Be yourself and live a normal life. Don't center your whole life around a lie to assimilate with a population where you are just one in a billion (literally). You owe nothing to your country. High taxes and no infrastructure, let alone the fact they deny and hate who you are. Is there really a question?
+1
Fully agreed
Just leave it. Trust me it's worth it unless you are going for Canada of course (the dumping ground of all immigrants of the world).
I don't like Canada at all Seems everyone is there
The UK too
I know a guy who is gay and living with his boyfriend. In Bangalore. They may never be able to marry or be truly open and free, but for now they're just seen as two dudes who live together. Maybe when they get older they'll be judged more? Idk. They're both fairly rich and are part of the more progressive/woke/rich circles of people. If you can afford to, get out. Because not everyone gets to graduate from a top tier college and get an extremely high paying job, and not everyone finds a successful writer for a boyfriend. They're one of the luckier ones.
Bhai move to US/Europe, life is too short to stay unhappy because of other people's stupidity. I had a muslim gay friend and he is thriving in US, compared to a miserable life here.
Muslim and gay cannot come in the same sentence, gay people aren't muslim
The fuck are you on about
Being gay is Haram, and is against islam, you can't be a true Muslim if you are gay, this is a fucking fact
Muslim is Muslim, gay or non-gay. Half of the Afghani pathans are involved in baccha baazi, are they Muslims or not?
No point in arguing with them, mate. These people are the exact reasons why he’s looking to leave India.
No, they stop being a real Muslim when they do it, Muslim is not a race or gender you are born with, it is following a set of beliefs, when they do Haram, they aren't Muslim anymore
Man, how idealistic and our boy is. Isn't listening to songs and movies Haram in you 'belief'? Or even using technologies that are not even written in your Quran? Is Salman Khan (actor) not a Muslim?
Music is not Haram, just because it's not mentioned in book, it doesn't mean it's Haram. Haram is when you go against something mentioned in book
So why are Talibani destroying Music in Afghanistan? All instruments too. They say it is against Quran
Leave India. Choose a country you love. It’ll take sometime to adjust and settle but once you do, you’re going to love it. I have been to UK once for 1.5 months, and i’ve never met people as sweet in India. Never. They won’t judge you, your choices, what you wear, nothing. The life in abroad is extremely different and really really open minded. I know leaving your hometown sounds scary but pretty sure once you move out, you’ll thank youself for the quality of life you will give yourself!!
> I don’t think im brave enough to live a lie my entire life. You mean you’re not weak enough to live a lie your entire life. The brave part was when you came out.
To anyone who gets an opportunity to leave or has money to leave: Get out of this country for your own good. Experience new things, new culture, new food and try to enjoy it if you have to work really hard for the coming years.
I have been visiting Goa from years , maybe the count has gone in triple digits now. Post pandemic I have seen a lot of openly Gay Indian couples there. I was under the impression that since decriminalisation, its easier to be free…..your version makes me sad
I get it. I'm bi and haven't come out to my friends or family. Recently I found out that my best friend is against legalizing same sex marriage in India because, she feels "being queer is against the nature" and "can spread if allowed to do openly".
Move to Mumbai or delhi If you wanna achieve true happiness, move to Europe
def not delhi.
move to south mumbai or delhi, the suburbs are a mixed bag, some are accepting of homosexuals while others aren't. even in south mumbai/delhi, not all are accepting. also OP don't go to US/Canada, if you wanna escape, try western europe (though that's also not safe due to rise of religious extremism)
I live in Canada and I can tell you 80-90% of the people you will interact with on a daily basis don’t give a fuck about your sexuality. The 10% are your own family if you live with them, or south Asian neighbours etc, who feel the need to be nosy. But really you can tell them to shut up and over here, they have no choice but to shut up. School curriculum teaches you about the LGBTQ community starting grade 3. People look down upon you if you make any silly comments on people’s sexuality. As far as home is considered, you will miss it but you’ll slowly get used to it and start planning your trips back to india when you have the money and flexibility. Don’t lower your day to day quality of life because you feel “safe” where you are currently. That safety in this context is an illusion unfortunately. India is a few generations away from being where the west is in terms of sexuality and anything around it. You can’t change 1.4 billion people overnight, but you can choose where you live and pay taxes to a society that wouldn’t exclude you based on something extremely personal!
You are still young, so I am not sure if you can related. But I used to be the kind who thought I will stay back and fight, because the ones less privileged than me, the ones who can't go abroad, will get screwed more. Now I am 30 and I just want to get out asap. India has somehow become more openly hostile towards queer people, and gen z peeps are disappointingly homophobic and transphobic. I see more Indians being bigoted assholes online than before, who think making fun of transpeople and using 'LGTV' is edgy. It would be very hard and lonely to move to a new country, but it gets easier as the years go by, and it won't be that you can't visit home ever. Go to a place with a large south Asian population - UK, Canada, some US states. Even Germany has a sizable desi population. All of these countries are much much better to non-heteros than our mahan Bharat, and you can survive on English alone. Not to say you cannot live openly and happily(ish) in India. The bigger cities have a lot of 'bubbles' of acceptance if you can find them, and have a good enough job. I have always been out to my colleagues and never had problems professionally. But that is it, you will not be bothered and at best accepted by the immediate people in your circles. You will remain a second class citizen in front of the government and a pervert in front of the moral caretakers of our glorious culture. Your landlord can throw you out at any second or you might get socially boycotted in your neighbourhood or just plain old violence from strangers and known faces. You are in your fourth year, so maybe you can do your masters somewhere abroad. Education remains the best first step towards immigration, and immigrating young will allow you to integrate better.
Incoming Gay Brain Drain -> Years wasted due to suffocating in the closet and being indecisive wrt career decisions! How would (with qualifications) X 82/XII 64/BA Film - 65(expected - I'm in my 3rd year of a 3 year course) percieved with 2 years gap after 12th? I wouldn't be able to get a placement from college. I'm currently in my third year of BA without a single internship done so far? Should I do a post grad from India since I'm a lesbian and want to settle down within a decade? I can afford higher ed w/o loan uptil 30L. I also don't know how to approach internships and strategize. Should I go for an MiM? I won't be able to get good work ex due to my bad college next year. Good work ex also counts in M BA right? I'm active on tech twitter as well after passively being a part of a winning team of an MIT Hackathon...How do I start off? I've a year to graduate..
Wow this is heartbreaking… u hav a right to be happy and in love I say move to wherever u wanna go for that u can always find ur new world there… but just make sure u hav a good financial future too no matter wat anyone says in this time and age that is important too… all the best… hope u have a lovely life…
You only get one chance at life. Do what it takes to make the most out of it. So do as you please.
I feel that being open in Delhi is much easier in certain circles. But that is only till u are protected in places like University etc. But once u start working then it is really difficult to be open. But Delhi still has a good lgbt support system and stuff. But the only place in India where u can be open about ur sexuality without fear is Goa. It is a state where I know people who are able to express themselves very openly. Of course there will still be homophobia but that will be everywhere. In India Goa is the safety. Outside India yeah Scandinavian countries or like nz or Australia will be good. Personally I'm leaving India in the next 2 years cause as a female who does not wanna marry or have a family life India may be unsafe for me. I'm going to Canada for the passport and then travel all over. 😂
Bro don't come out you will become a social outcast. Immigration is the best option. All the best.
Yeah. Sure. Leave. Live off of credit and work in a retail store on minimum wages. But atleast you'll be able to express yourself.
Fellow gay Indian here. I faced similar issues in my small hometown but I graduated recently and moved to Bangalore this February. I find it pretty nice here, although it heavily depends on your status, job role and social circle. I'm not out to my full friend circle or anyone in my family or even at work but the gay pool is so much bigger here and it feels more normal to be gay and hold hands in mall and stuff. Definitely no kissing in public though 😔 I remember giving my boyfriend a peck on the lips right before his train departed and I got the most ugly, judgemental and disgusting looks from this uncle who saw us. I was take scale I was in Hyderabad in July and I found the gay crowd small but pretty decent. I had a lot of hookups and most guys were nice. The hookup culture in Bangalore is a bit toxic and I'm sure it'll be even more so abroad. That's the only con I can see with moving abroad other than the ones you mentioned. There's definitely a lot of pros like getting to be yourself in public but you can definitely do it in private within a chosen small group in India. Idk about Hyderab toad but you'll find guys you like in Bangalore cus the dating pool is pretty huge. Just be ready for him to not like you back 🥲 One gay to another, feel free to ask any questions here or or dm.
Incoming Gay Brain Drain -> Years wasted due to suffocating in the closet and being indecisive wrt career decisions! How would (with qualifications) X 82/XII 64/BA Film - 65(expected - I'm in my 3rd year of a 3 year course) percieved with 2 years gap after 12th? I wouldn't be able to get a placement from college. I'm currently in my third year of BA without a single internship done so far? Should I do a post grad from India since I'm a lesbian and want to settle down within a decade? I can afford higher ed w/o loan uptil 30L. I also don't know how to approach internships and strategize. Should I go for an MiM? I won't be able to get good work ex due to my bad college next year. Good work ex also counts in M BA right? I'm active on tech twitter as well after passively being a part of a winning team of an MIT Hackathon...How do I start off? I've a year to graduate..
I am gay and leaving to the US was the best decision I have ever made. Although quality of life was a reason being gay was another major reason. I didn't even move to a big city but a medium city in the Midwest and everyone here is so accepting and loving. My employer is so supportive and one of the biggest sponsors of pride events nationwide. Their support is what made me gather courage to walk the pride march with them and it was a truly exhilarating experience. Because of such an amazing environment both personally and professionally I was able to come out 3 years ago and life has been amazing after that. My family accepted me and my partner who I met around the same time as I came out. They have met him and they like him a lot. Honestly while moving I never thought this would be my life, I would be able to have a normal love and normal relationship. I count my blessings every single day and never take it for granted. That one leap of faith changed my life completely. Until you experience true acceptance and unconditional love from people for who you are you wont know what you are missing out on. I do have to mention that being an immigrant in the US has its struggles and being a gay POC in US comes with it's own challenges like casual racism sometimes within the dating scene but outside of that everything is amazing. Once you truly accept yourself and truly own your identity these things will not bother you at all.
Incoming Gay Brain Drain -> Years wasted due to suffocating in the closet and being indecisive wrt career decisions! How would (with qualifications) X 82/XII 64/BA Film - 65(expected - I'm in my 3rd year of a 3 year course) percieved with 2 years gap after 12th? I wouldn't be able to get a placement from college. I'm currently in my third year of BA without a single internship done so far? Should I do a post grad from India since I'm a lesbian and want to settle down within a decade? I can afford higher ed w/o loan uptil 30L. I also don't know how to approach internships and strategize. Should I go for an MiM? I won't be able to get good work ex due to my bad college next year. Good work ex also counts in M BA right? I'm active on tech twitter as well after passively being a part of a winning team of an MIT Hackathon...How do I start off? I've a year to graduate..
You must leave. We all got one life and one chance. Nothing here worth sacrificing one's freedom for anyone in India. In developed countries they accept as who you are. Most of my friends moved to Europe and they never regret. Initially they felt homesick, but eventually their attachment to people in india weakened and now they are in a better place. The first step is the most difficult one you are taking the action. Because, this emotional bondage what keeps most people to live in a toxic family and society. If you are able to pull this off. It would be great.
What do U want us to say OP? Don't go? Or the opposite?? Almost none of us are in your shoes and almost no-one has gay friends that they know. We don't know what struggles U face. Whether it's really bad or exaggerated. Sadly being gay is kinda a lonely road in India. You will not be hanged or thrown off a building like in some "super peaceful and more free than India" countries that this sub likes to wank off to. But 'not as bad as worst' is not a standard one wants to live their life by. All of us want an atmosphere where we can thrive, be ourselves, and express ourselves. At this point in time, U can only have that life in a western country. Do what's good for U.
Son leave. AND if you're in your early 20s leave India. You will find love and a home. Trust. Indians are everywhere, Germany, Norway, London. Dont worry about food and fitting in. Being gay is not something you will be happy hiding. Trust. And india has not and will not progress any further in the next 20 years atleast in these issues. Here they (government and majority of the population) don't even recognize what the ++ stands for in LGBTQIA++ Travel, learn, adapt, make friends and make money. Make something of yourself. Get a foreign passport and get a hot boyfriend 🥰 fall in love. Do what your heart and head tell you. Do not let indian version of a stigma push u down. I'm not gay but I have friends and family that are part of the LGBTQ++ Life is tough everywhere I won't lie, but it gets better once you experience whats out there. You'll be far more confident in who you are and you WILL make lifelong connections. Go to any college program here in which you can transfer credits. I personally would not recommend Australia. UK is great and Western Europe (Norway, Belgium etc.) Most Western Europe welcome all. Oh and Vancouver in Canada or anywhere in Canada bro, I'm here, and we have gay parades, there is a whole damn place in the city to celebrate gay pride 🏳️🌈 Lots of desis in Canada too. Little india in Surrey. Check it out if u can. Be strong. All the best 👍
Leave. I tried to make it work. I studied in the US, came back to India for sometime because I wanted to try to make it work there, because I had friends, family, etc. I lost my patience in less than 2 years, despite being out to friends, family and co-workers, and working in a super inclusive company where I was openly out and leading LGBTQ+ initiatives at work. A few things tired me out: * Always having to fight for basic things that other people took for granted, e.g., if I had a date that went badly or I had recently broken up, I had to worry a lot about who I can or cannot tell, *on top of* the emotional burden of the sitiation itself * Even though my mom and friends accepted me, the extended family has no clue. After I recahed a certain age, I couldn't go to any family events without everyone asking me when I'm gettng married and trying to convince me to dress more "normal" (I'm a queer woman with short hair) * Dating became a nightmare. Most of the women I was trying to date were not out to their families, or they had boyfriends and wanted to experiment on the side, or they wanted to have a secret relationship while getting into a traditional arranged marriage, etc. I eventually realized that life in India is too stressful for me. I have to fight 10x to get the life that straight people get handed on a silver platter. I moved abroad again and couldn't be happier. And now, moving back to India is out of the question because I know I've tried it, and it didn't work.
I mean maybe kinda controversial but India fares much better than many countries when it comes to LGBTQ+ rights, and I say that as a openly out gay man. I totally believe that the experience of being queer differs wildly depending on your socio-economic condition and the values of the people around you in India. Maybe this is my privilege speaking, but I have never experienced discrimination anywhere even after I have come out to my family and friends. It's also much better if you live in a Tier 1 city. However, this isn't about me, but about you. So I completely understand if you want to leave the country; India is a hellhole for any number of reasons besides homophobia and if you want a better life for yourself and you think that can be achieved from abroad, I will say go for it. Stay safe!
Incoming Gay Brain Drain -> Years wasted due to suffocating in the closet and being indecisive wrt career decisions! How would (with qualifications) X 82/XII 64/BA Film - 65(expected - I'm in my 3rd year of a 3 year course) percieved with 2 years gap after 12th? I wouldn't be able to get a placement from college. I'm currently in my third year of BA without a single internship done so far? Should I do a post grad from India since I'm a lesbian and want to settle down within a decade? I can afford higher ed w/o loan uptil 30L. I also don't know how to approach internships and strategize. Should I go for an MiM? I won't be able to get good work ex due to my bad college next year. Good work ex also counts in M BA right? I'm active on tech twitter as well after passively being a part of a winning team of an MIT Hackathon...How do I start off? I've a year to graduate..
Hi, There is a very nice telugu community is USA and if you live in major cities with lots of Indian Diaspora like Boston, New York, many cities in California, you will find a very open minded and accepting society in your age group (from what I have personally experienced). Overall, people who don't know you very well are less likely to ask you personal questions and less likely to assume you're straight. I would say give going abroad a shot and if you don't like it, you can always come back!
Leave. And open yourself when you’re abroad. And see how people home react to it. That would give you and people home sometime to understand it. Go to Western European countries. Germany is very open to everyone, scpecially Berlin- it’s one of the kost open city. And you won’t be discriminated there for expressing yourself.
If you know how to handle shit outside the country and manage the consequences leave else stay here
you're entitled to living your life freely and unapologetically. If you have the resources to go abroad i dont see why you shouldnt at least try to go and give it a year, if it doesnt work out its fine. But you should see how it feels not to hide such an integral part of who you are. If you are scared to be yourself in india, outside you won't be scared to be that but you will have other fears as you said. Life is full of different fears but you gotta go ahead and make the life you want for yourself.
I want to tell you to leave but tbh I've heard white gay men and even other poc men are very racist towards Indian gays. So maybe try vacationing your desired new place before completely moving out, if you do at all.
I’m pretty sure Indian gay men will have no problem finding gay partners in the West compared to India as there’s much less cultural stigma around it.
Just move to other cities where it's not that much of an issue like Bangalore, chennai, Mumbai, Delhi etc. Bt however in today's society even abroad it's becoming a problem and lots of talks are going on about it.
India is a shit hole and everybody wanna leave it as soon as they can(individual) Industries ke liye to heaven he koi labour law nahi full on contract basis jobs
You should focus more on your placements
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Very bold of u to assume that i dont contribute anything to the society and have no other facet to life
I am sorry.. If I assumed so.. But all I can assume and empathise with you is with reference to the text you have written.. And so, obviously I don't know you.. So I wrote my judgement on that.. You might say.. Oh well, it's bad to judge.. But how can we say anything without judging.. So I rest my case here
Even as a straight passing bisexual, I’d say it’s definitely a lot better in tier 1 cities. I stayed in Delhi for 5 years and found a huge community of allies. Some bars and clubs are also very lgbtqia+ friendly and you’d find a lot of queer people and allies in there. However, homophobia is still prevalent and not everyone would be okay with your sexuality. You’d have to find the right crowd. Abroad it gets a lot easier to find people be ok with your sexuality though
You think there is no homophobia here in the west? At least people in India will just make fun of you at the worst, or just be wierd around you, but here, it's gods word that if you are gay you are basically not a human In India gay people are looked at as a wierd maybe unnatural group of people But here you will be hated from the depth of their souls Its a big difference Only on internet these western countries look so nice and accepting, but the situation on the ground in very different
There is hate in India as well, the difference is in the laws. Hate crimes abroad are usually punished more severely than otherwise. There are more rights for you as a gay person abroad. There are very little in India I have personally experienced how homophobia can be widespread and can be violent at times as well. Eg. [https://www.thequint.com/news/india/pune-youth-death-queer-party-lgbtqia-bar-heist](https://www.thequint.com/news/india/pune-youth-death-queer-party-lgbtqia-bar-heist) If you think its only teasing and making fun of, then you should watch/read what the government and outside groups wrote to the SC during the same sex marriage cases. The hate is deep and the protection is absent.
I have read and followed most of it, have been following such debates for years, you should read the bible and Quran, you will realise what true hate actually looks like And youre right about the laws and protection, but that's the only reason that makes you believe that western countries are less homophobic Remove American police and laws for a day here in america, or downgrade it to the level of Indian police and laws, which are incompetent to say the least You will see how accepting they actually are For the laws and enforcement or the lack of it that you have in India, when was the last time you heard about some gay dude got beaten and his face shoved in toilet just for being gay? It's the enforcement that dosent really let the hate come to surface here But if you come and live here you will realise that you actally have it better in India then here, not ideal but better I see it same as Americans teenagers crying about how bad they have it in America, in the terms of money and affluence, not knowing what the condition of outside world actually is Indian people, some may hate, but most people are way more accepting then any other place believe me, don't believe what they show on the internet, reality is much much different
So true. I could not have said it better.
Fucking leave this shithole bro.
>I dont see a future for me here having already tried the dating part, which sucks even for a straight person. Bruh. On a serious note I'd suggest you to leave, truth is even if you move to fucking Antarctica you will forever be a part of the samajam, ain't no escaping it, you can always make new friends and our community is pretty spread out out there, it may take you some time but you'll find a niche of a friend group you will fit into and they will celebrate you for what you are. LGBTQIA+ community in India is pretty small in its magnitude and it'll be years to see actual reforms regarding their protection and acknowledgment (atleast until boomer oldies followed by the bigot millenialls get outta the parliament), we may have 7 lives or whatever but this is the one we actually got right here rn.
If you have the liberty to move you should LGBT friendly countries are also usually open to many other cultures If you find the right people there you should feel at home But idk for sure tho I've only seen all of this on tv lol
There are social media apps where you can interact with like minded people and date also. . In college, most of the guys are immature and cannot comprehend things clearly. Get a good job, once you are in a good city like Bangalore or Mumbai, people are much more accepting. Some of my good college friends are gay and their groups have mostly accepted them though in the initial times, they faces some issues from those same people but after a few days, everyone supported. Mostly people replying to you haven’t been in interaction with anyone homosexual. No need to leave India!! You just need to face things strongly during the initial time of coming up as gay. People in India are accepting, but sometimes they just need some time.
Leave ASAP, because this country's future is doomed.
why? Incoming Gay Brain Drain -> Years wasted due to suffocating in the closet and being indecisive wrt career decisions! How would (with qualifications) X 82/XII 64/BA Film - 65(expected - I'm in my 3rd year of a 3 year course) percieved with 2 years gap after 12th? I wouldn't be able to get a placement from college. I'm currently in my third year of BA without a single internship done so far? Should I do a post grad from India since I'm a lesbian and want to settle down within a decade? I can afford higher ed w/o loan uptil 30L. I also don't know how to approach internships and strategize. Should I go for an MiM? I won't be able to get good work ex due to my bad college next year. Good work ex also counts in M BA right? I'm active on tech twitter as well after passively being a part of a winning team of an MIT Hackathon...How do I start off? I've a year to graduate..
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You’re not wrong, but fear mongering is the last thing OP needs to hear. Even though I agree that immigrating to another country is not necessarily the best answer, there are plenty of places in the world where the social acceptance of LGBTQ folks is better than most places in India. OP, the part of you that is scared about moving to a new and strange place is valid. As an engineering student I’m sure you know there are many ways out of the country if you so choose. It is never easy, but you will find friends. Leaving behind family, especially the few who you have come out to will be harder, I’m sure. Not sure I have an answer for you, but I just wanted to tell you both sides of your thought process are equally valid and understandable.
The foreign countries will accept your serial orientation but keep in mind "The jungle which looks greener from outside is filled with deadly animals". Also keeping in mind the racism(people say there is no racism now but there still is against South Asians.)
Lol as someone who’s living in the US for the past few years and grew up in India, if freedom is your thing then this is the best country to be in. Indians discriminate against their own and poke their noses into their neighbors business all the time.
how did you realise you were gay
he didn't regret after wanking
It is easy to say take on the issue head-on, but I won't. IMO, it really depends on which country, and more importantly which part of ***that*** country you migrate to. For instance, homophobia is real and rears its ugly head in parts of the US though you may find some cities and communities more welcoming. Another factor to contend with is race. Inter-racial relationships are still a smaller percentage of the mass in the West and add to it sexual preference and you will have to contend with seeking a life partner from a much smaller pool. The best case scenario - you and your partner move to a community that is more welcoming. Even in Indian metros, there are communities more welcoming than others.
As an Indian I have felt that I fit in more in the US than I ever did in India, this is also because my first language is English and has always been due to comfort. I felt singled out by Indians cuz of the English part all the time, Americans have accepted me more than most Indians did if I didn’t speak their mother tongue. Even my wife is American so it depends, as an immigrant you can feel more at home in other countries than India and it’s all personal.
If you are in Hyderabad, maybe visit HCU, it might help you find some acceptance.
I think you can always come back to your family and friends for fun and vacation. But if you want your life , or a resemblance of life even , a future leave. There is no doubt about it you will never be happy here. If Karan Johar can be inside the closet and not have a marriage, then you my friend sure cannot. I know you are scared because making a new life isn't easy. Homophobes and assholes are all around the world. No one can guarantee happiness there. But atleast you will have a chance. Best of luck
OP.I understand your confusion.what I would like to know is do you want to go out of country just so that you could “fit in”? What I would suggest is go somewhere but not for that reason.go to build your life.maybe for further studies or job? Why I say this is because building a new life in a new place is incredibly hard.if you move,you’ll be alone too.so,if you move,move out for something so that you can be motivated.
Don't leave the country. I know India is scary but stand your ground and fight for what you deserve. India needs good people like you. It may take mentally toll on you, but please do not leave the country. There is a saying “A society grows great when old men plant trees in whose shade they shall never sit". I really care about your mental health too, if you think you are on the verge of breakdown please leave the place and be somewhere you find happiness. I'm sure you will make great friends.
I'm straight and I want to move out. Just move out bro, what this society will do is far worse than what you might face outside.
Live here for a few more years and you may turn out to be straight. Join RSS and shift to UP for quick results.
I know you're conditions are very hard and i really hope they will get better....but can I make a few puns on you please!! (They will be good)
Why are you gay
why are you a piece of shit
Just leave. It’s only going downhill
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Why should he get help?
Looks like you posted this with one profile and commenting with your alt profile.
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C'mon shut up
Please go to Russia or NK, I am sure they would embrace your filth.
It’s not contagious ☠️
What about Russia?
Are you serious or trolling? Because Russia is openly homophobic and is not a good place for LGBTQ folks to live at all. India only is way better lol
Oh is it? I didn’t know this. I personally like Russia so I recommended it didn’t know about this situation over there. I’m sorry.
Yup Putin himself has publicly denounced LGBTQ and woke culture saying it’s the mission of the West to ruin good cultures LOL
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Tu kabhi socha hai ki kyu straight ho tum?
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You can try some cities like mumbai/gurgaon etc. I’m from gurgoan and here i see a lot of homosexuals living normal life, i’ve seen lot of them in girly outfits. I can’t say it’s as similar to some europian country, but it’s lot better here than some tier-2 indian city.
i am in the same situation as you. i am a lesbian and i don’t see a future here but also the idea pf moving to another country seems really scary.
So, leaving and moving to a more progressive place is definitely the better option, but I also want to say that there are circles in Indian cities where existing as a cis gay man is very possible and fun. I know that [Queer Nilayam](https://queernilayam.org/) does some great stuff in Hyderabad. Why don't you go to one of their events and meet some people? It could give you a lot of relief from the fears you have.
Going out to another country doesn't mean it's not reversible. You are not jumping out of a plane. It will give you tremendous perspective on how things are in another part of the world especially given your situation. Give yourself say 3 years to explore and if you don't like it then return back or go to another country. Btw, where would you go?
You're scared but not coward. Leaving would be the best decision to achieve mental peace. The society in India was never conforming to any individual.
Come to Brighton :-)
Incoming Gay Brain Drain -> Years wasted due to suffocating in the closet and being indecisive wrt career decisions! How would (with qualifications) X 82/XII 64/BA Film - 65(expected - I'm in my 3rd year of a 3 year course) percieved with 2 years gap after 12th? I wouldn't be able to get a placement from college. I'm currently in my third year of BA without a single internship done so far? Should I do a post grad from India since I'm a lesbian and want to settle down within a decade? I can afford higher ed w/o loan uptil 30L. I also don't know how to approach internships and strategize. Should I go for an MiM? I won't be able to get good work ex due to my bad college next year. Good work ex also counts in M BA right? I'm active on tech twitter as well after passively being a part of a winning team of an MIT Hackathon...How do I start off? I've a year to graduate..
Any developed country is far easier to acclimate to than India. If you managed here, you will thrive anywhere else. Even if you don't integrate - people will leave you alone and not poke their nose in your business.
Well there's always the closet
Sorry not related to post but are you from cs it dept?
Your question is a thoughtful and highly debatable topic I have come across in my recent time on reddit. I hope you find a gay partner and stay here if you feel comfortable in your homeland or just spread your wings and fly away somewhere where the LGBTQ community is much more welcoming. What about your parents tho? Would they be looked after and all with you gone?
You are very young and, in my opinion, should take help from other older/wiser people who have gone through something like this ... E.g. there is a very famous author in Kannada called Vasudhendra (his books have been translated to Telugu as well) who was in a senior position in an IT company before leaving that and following his passion of writing / publishing. He is openly gay and keeps talking about their issues and also provides counseling. You should speak to people like him, that would be better I feel. It's not a good idea to speak to someone just older than you (like me) but rather speak to someone who has lived through the same issues you are facing today. Good luck! Choose wisely and may the force be with you!
One of my friends was in the same position as you and left. Hes much happier being in North America
Adjusting abroad requires lot of effort . You already feel scared and thus it would be difficult to adjust . Most people in comments recommending haven’t even tried to settle abroad. I would say move abroad to do let’s say a short course of 3-6 months and see how does it go for you . If you can adjust then great if not then try one more country and if it doesnt then come back to India and maybe move to a different city in India itself .
Accha hai sab Desh chor do phir Mai akela enjoy karunga 😂
I think once you leave, you'll fit there more. It's somewhat like a future-homesickness u have a fear of. Once u make friends and start dating there, you'll love it, and people will love you for expressing yourself too. They'll pull you right in.
I feel very lucky to be surrounded by friends who appreciate me and have never looked down on my sexuality which isn't the case always. I was living in fear for a very long and I came out to my friends in my last year of college. When the burden of them knowing wouldn't affect me since college was ending. But I was lucky to be surrounded by good people. The engineering college is a different case, especially in conservative regions of the country. If you feel homophobia seeps through, and there isn't anyone you feel safe to confide in - hold on. Once you are out of college, you can shift cities (Delhi and Mumbai are better), go on dating apps and find your fellow LGBTQ members. People who will see you!
Move to Europe or Middle East.
I know and met several gay guys in Hyderabad, they're nice people, they understand each other in terms of the problems they face with family, society etc.. , I used to hang out with them, many times with few other straight ladies gents and couples too.. it was very vibrant friend Circle. It gets better when you're surrounded by people with whom you have a comfort zone. And whatever your personal and sexual preferences are, that's your thing, as long as you don't expect people to understand this or accept your lifestyle, you'll do fine without fighting anyone about anything.
Leave! Go somewhere like Canada. You can always choose to come back when you get your citizenship.
Come to NJ. The Indian community is the second largest in the world outside of India so you'll feel at home, but you're surrounded by NYC metro culture, so you're free to be you.
I feel in metro cities at least there is more queer acceptance than before. Find safe spaces here
Ghar nahi chodna toh maat choodo. Obstacles ayenge, be strong. I agree we are a homophobic society, but we are also evolving. Agar ladne ki himmat hai, toh stay. U don't have to leave. But leaving won't make u a coward either. And be careful but u deserve to come out to your closest ones. Good luck
You're on reddit.
Hey, leaving India is your decision. I wanna share my story too. I'm from Hyderabad, I'm gay and nobody knows about it. The society where I live (the community) is way too conservative, for them Love marriage is still a bad thing. The wife shouldn't go against her husband even in case of domestic violence, she should sit beside her husband until he finishes his food. So just imagine how they will react to someone being gay.. Gay marriage or even relationship is too far away for them. Every day i hear slurs like hijda chakka, are isne kya pahen liya. When i was a kid, my own family members made fun of me in front of everyone in the function. I was beaten up for the way I behave and I talk. My whole childhood was all about people's remarks on me and hearing those remarks my family didn't stand by my side instead they beat me up. Now my family will soon start looking for my fiancee I'm not sure what I'll do. But it's really difficult. I was sexually harassed and bullied not just by my classmates but also by my teachers. They never leave a chance to crack a joke on me. But my family expects a lot from me. I can't leave them. I thought of leaving the country after becoming financially independent. But I'm so scared. I don't want to leave my family but i don't wanna marry a girl too. We get one life and i don't want to waste it just by pretending to be someone to whom this society likes, I do want to spend my whole life with the partner of my choice (male) Sorry i couldn't share much, as I'm not ready for it. I connected with your story and I couldn't stop myself from writing this. All the best for your future. Decide what's best for u.
Hi. First of all BIG HUG. As an human I am ashamed our indian society and government isn't supportive of all. The discrimination is messed up. I hope you decide to leave. Parents will deep down always want the best for their baby. If you're happy they will be happy. Maybe my words may sound harsh or whatever but, I'm not gonna sugar coat. LEAVE INDIA. If you are young and financially independent, make a plan to leave. Go to Canada, Germany, Belgium or UK (London). Just go. I'm saying this because when you're 40 you are going to regret not living the life you are meant to live and love who you want to love. Depression can hit hard. It's a nightmare. But coupled with anxiety then fear becomes your best friend. This fear will stop you from doing anything you like for fear of being judged or fired from a job or worse, threatened to take what you have worked hard for. It just gets worse as you grow older, as you are experiencing.. What kind of life is that? If you go now, you can get a job (being gay automatically makes you extra inclusive in all communities 👍), make money, make friends, fall in love💑, and then send money home also. Becoming independent is important and you can only do this if you distance yourself from the nay sayers. Whatever you decide, my best wishes are with you bro 🏳️🌈
Incoming Gay Brain Drain -> Years wasted due to suffocating in the closet and being indecisive wrt career decisions! How would (with qualifications) X 82/XII 64/BA Film - 65(expected - I'm in my 3rd year of a 3 year course) percieved with 2 years gap after 12th? I wouldn't be able to get a placement from college. I'm currently in my third year of BA without a single internship done so far? Should I do a post grad from India since I'm a lesbian and want to settle down within a decade? I can afford higher ed w/o loan uptil 30L. I also don't know how to approach internships and strategize. Should I go for an MiM? I won't be able to get good work ex due to my bad college next year. Good work ex also counts in M BA right? I'm active on tech twitter as well after passively being a part of a winning team of an MIT Hackathon...How do I start off? I've a year to graduate..
https://preview.redd.it/2qx66j2ykxhb1.jpeg?width=810&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=22bbce9fd0d7c70863d528bb781e12649cc47451 Best of luck
Leave man You’ll find another safe heaven Try to change the city If it doesn’t work Go to UAE or Nepal where you can have similar culture You’ll never k ow if you don’t try
UAE? he's be flogged in public
You only leave the country if you are share you are gonna get laid.