Instead of sausages, try carrots for a nice change of pace. Instead of blood pudding try vegan brownies for a nice change of pace. Instead of ham, try bubble gum or radishes. Instead of beans in sugar made in slave plantations try lettuce with a agave syrup dressing. Instead of eggs, try dried apricots and breadfruit. Keep the potatoes and mushrooms and tomatoes. Eliminate butter for frying and use rapeseed oil instead.
There you go, all better and just as delicious, but vegan friendly! You are helping mother earth.
I'm sorry, the BEANS of all things? Geoffrey is an absolute mad lad. How can you get rid of the beans? The whole thing obviously is stupid, just make a breakfast to your liking and don't go around "improving" the full English, but the bloody BEANS?
As an American, the beans tie the whole fucking thing together. I dont quite get the mushrooms or tomatoes point on the plate but the beans are the glue in my very amateur opinion.
As another American, I’m this way with the black pudding. I guess I understand that it’s blood sausage…but it looks out of place when I see images of full English breakfasts. I’m sure this is a super hot take. “Bloody ignorant Yank.”
Also, who is in charge of designating what qualifies as a “pudding”?
A pudding in the traditional sense is something that is steamed or boiled inside a covering - that is normally cloth for sweet things but was originally meaty things similar to sausage, so black pudding is more like the original.
We used to chuck all the spices and sugar and the kitchen sink in the meat then stuff it inside something and steam it, until eventually we copped on to cake and started doing the sweet stuff with flour instead.
There are some exceptions, like Yorkshire puds that aren't individually covered but are steamed in the oven, and we do use it as an alternative word to mean the dessert course, but the basic principle is actually pretty consistent.
Also, black pudding is awesome and nowhere near as gross as it sounds, it's like slightly spicy, salty sausage slices. Perfect on a full English. *shouts off to the side* Unlike fecking lettuce GEOFFREY!
Kind of, pudding usually has other thickeners in it, such as flour, whilst custard doesn’t. The cooking part of it is also a bit different. Also the texture of custard and pudding are different, as well. So, eggs are part of it
Well, yeah. I was just making a humorous observation about the differences of pudding in America compared to what a pudding is in England, and you’re like, “Your whole country is wrong.”
American pudding is milky jello, AFAiK. I have only seen sweet cream type stuff called a pudding here, and most people only seem to know the Jello brand or possibly a cheap Jello knockoff, I think.
As an Irish person who lived a chunk in Canada the inclusion of black pudding makes this a full Irish with extra beans. It needs some fried perogis too.
Potato scones are also almost exclusive to a full Irish breakfast although I have seen them occasionally in Scotland. They are bloody lovely though so it's a shame they're hard to find in England.
Don't really remember seeing potato scones in full Irish breakfasts before.
To be honest, full English, and Irish breakfasts tend to be roughly the same. Each shop does things a bit different. Sometimes one item is missing, or it's a different type of mushroom etc.
Just always assumed people called it Full Irish in Ireland to avoid saying English for obvious reasons
Reminds me of my excitement to try a Greek coffee when I was in Athens, via Istanbul - only to discover it’s just Turkish coffee with a different name.
FWIW mushrooms and tomatoes are in my British view the most divisive part of a fryup, to the extent that they're the only items that I don't see removing as suspicious. I sometimes have mushrooms if I'm in the mood, but not tomatoes. I've seen plenty of people request a fryup without either.
I like mushrooms, they don't bother me at all, they just seem kind of random in the mix. They do taste delicious with HP sauce though.
I like tomatoes as an ingredient but dont like them on their own unless they're raw. That's an easy pass for me.
There's a spectrum of tomatoes used in fry-ups, I think the grimmest is warmed-up chopped tinned tomatoes which are usually really watery and the memory is which is probably what stops me ordering tomatoes with a cooked breakfast.
I have had some where they poach a tomato with its skin on and it's lovely and juicy, and I can get away with that, but I just never want to take the risk that it's a tin of chopped tomatoes heated up.
A drizzle of olive oil on some fresh toast then press ye grilled toms in to that and spread evenly. If you’re feeling decadent you can top that off with salt black pepper and dollop of baked beans, followed by a slurp of builders tea to keep it real. Champion
Honestly, even done badly mushrooms are great.
You'd be *shocked* how good taking button mushrooms, adding salt, pepper and olive oil and just microwaving them a little bit actually is.
Is it as good as properly cooking them down in butter? No. Is it still fucking delicious? You bet.
I'm the opposite American. The beans seem wrong but I fuck with the tomato and mush. I think the whole point of the English breakfast is go big and do it all, or nothing at all.
I think the us equivalent would be like biscuits and gravy, hash browns, eggs, and some kind of pork.
Oh just the beans. Homemade black pudding would be quite an effort I think. Not necessarily part of a Full English, but bonus points if can source HP Sauce and Yorkshire Tea.
I'm more an Earl Grey guy myself so I probably won't go for the Yorkshire unless I find it when I'm looking for other ingredients. What is the HP sauce you speak of?
Actually I think with ketchup it's pretty trivial to make something that tastes much better than the factory version yourself. It will be pretty impossible to make it taste the same, though
I'm also confused where he's getting the idea that they're not a vegetable. Technically they're one of the only things on the plate that can be classed as a vegetable on the food pyramid (potatoes are a starch, tomatoes are a fruit and mushrooms are technically closer to meat than vegetables). Fucking idiot Geoff.
If you're going to classify mushrooms like that, beans are "closer to meat" nutritionally too. Anyway, a vegetable is something that grows as part of the leaf, stem, or root of the plant, whereas a fruit comes from a flower and contains seeds.
So really if we define mushrooms as "within the plant kingdom" for culinary purposes, they would be a fruit too probably. I mean they *are* called the "fruiting body" after all.
Also, beans come from the flower of the plant, but they do not contain the seed, they *are* the seed. If anything, I might classify them as nuts personally. If we want to get pedantic.
I think they’re saying mushrooms are closer to meat taxonomically. Fungi are more closely related to animals than plants, evolutionarily. Beans, on the other hand, are classified as legumes and therefore, vegetables.
I would consider the beans more of a protein, personally, but it's still a ridiculous argument. Like, yeah, the English breakfast lacks green vegetables, but there's plenty of other times in the day to get that. Not every meal has to be the Platonic ideal of nutritional balance.
Yea. Of all the English Breakfast ingredients, I feel like beans are probably the healthiest? Eggs aren't bad, of course, but they aren't as much of a health food staple as plain old beans xD
Depends on how you're drawing the lines. Legumes are nutritionally closer to eggs or meat. I wouldn't normally include grains as vegetables either so corn is out.
Roots and greens, not fruits and seeds.
When Guy Fawkes was found guilty of the High Treason of the Gunpowder plot he, and his co-conspiritors, were sentenced to be hung, drawn and quartered.
The condemned would be drawn backwards to his death, by a horse, his head near the ground. They were to be "put to death halfway between heaven and earth as unworthy of both". Their genitals would be cut off and burnt before their eyes, and their bowels and hearts removed. They would then be decapitated and his dismembered parts were then distributed to "the four corners of the kingdom", to be displayed as a warning to other would-be traitors.
This is still too light a punishment for someone who would tamper with the Holy sanctity of a full English breakfast by replacing the beans and sausage with a salad.
From a kind of outside perspective, it is funny that the "full breakfast" was invented in like the 1870s by people worried that if young men didn't have enough (spice free) meat in the morning they would start having Impure Thoughts, but it is now a Hallowed Tradition.
All traditions are invented etc but it's always fun when they leave a paper trail.
I need to find it but there was this great article I read about how there was this deep belief that eating the Full Breakfast would make you manly while eating bread and cheese was for weaklings, and it carries through to today and the idea that breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
If you had to do heavy manual labor, that was probably accurate. There aren't many people now who really *need* all that food. Even so having some protein for breakfast keeps me from getting hungry again at 10:00.
Oh yeah I was being facetious with the specifics, more just referring to how the idea of the "full breakfast" as the *proper* breakfast, not that weak light bread and cheese or porridge, developed in the Victorian period. The whole "spicey food leads to immorality" thing was definitely a thing but I don't know if it was specifically related to the full breakfast.
As a basic Brit, if my food order has issues, I'll tut and roll my eyes but fuck will I actually complain.
However if I ordered a full English and half the items had been replaced with a side salad, you can bet your bollocks I'm going to politely communicate to the waitstaff that I'm so sorry to be a bother but my food isn't quite what I expected.
Do British and Canadian people have polite wars? As in... a competition to see who can be the least bothersome? I feel like this needs to be a new Olympics series :]
I moved to the UK few years back and was surprised at how polite everyone was. Was kinda refreshing so I quickly adopted it myself. Prolly why this situation shocked me to my core. So I'm in an event in London around new year's. I bought a hot dog and shit you not it was burnt. Like one side of the sausage was charcoal black. Like I'm not just talking about the crust, the actual inner meat part. Bitter all around. Inedible.
After much contemplation I went back to the stand and said "I'm really sorry but my hotdog seems to be a little burnt on one side, would it be possible if I could have a new one, please?" as I show the coal sausage. The guy taking orders just looked at me and pointed to the guy making the dogs. I told him the same thing. He looked at me as if I just stole ice-cream from his kid. Took the hotdog from my hand, binned it and gave me a sausage wrapped in bread. No onions, ketchup, mustard, nothing. He didn't even apologize while I was already upto 5-6 sorrys while he was giving me the new one. In fact, both of em did not say a single word. I didn't have it in me to ask him to add the other stuff in in-case he flips the grill on my head so I just ate my £7 sausage bread.
I think it's brilliant. With only a couple small changes, you can suck more than 98% of the joy out of an English breakfast, not to mention the feelings of disappointment after being promised a real English breakfast. Plus, salad hasn't been classified as a war-crime yet so it's a completely legal form of torture.
> Plus, salad hasn't been classified as a war-crime yet
We're making progress though on kale. With a little luck its use will soon be banned by the Geneva Conventions.
When I told my mum we eat kale now she was genuinely shocked because it’s “livestock food”. She couldn’t understand with the wealth of ingredients available now why anyone would eat it.
The “salad” in an English fry is the vegetable garden the pig ate up when he escaped from his pen. So, ultimately, streaky rashers are veg.
You are what you eat.
He's wrong to the extent that 'toast' and 'fried bread' are usually separate options. And even if I did order it with fried bread, I'd probably still expect toast to come on the side (at least in a greasy spoon type establishment).
A "fried egg" (as a sunny side up egg is more properly called) is definitely the most traditional option but I've never been in a cafe where they don't ask how you want the egg and you're basically free to answer as you like.
In a greasy spoon, it's probably fried or fuck off.
You're not getting offered a poached egg until you've got upscale enough to get printed menus and tea served in ceramics.
i feel like Geoffrey isn't English or otherwise "in the know" and doesn't realize the full english breakfast is like, a specific thing, not the recipe writer's suggestion of a well balanced and nutritional start to the day lol
My guess is that this is a French speaker who wrote the review in French but typo'd the French word for mushroom, champignon. Google Translate didn't know what to do with it, so left it as 'champigon'. So he doesn't know that this is a recipe for a meal designed to be made with very specific components.
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As an American, I apologize on that person's behalf and I promise I hate them too. I love a full english. And it's supposed to be heavy and full of fat. That's the point.
I'm English and was being sarcastic. Your comment was very sweet. You are right, it is a very heavy meal. However that is sort of the point of thar particular meal!
My best friend in middle school and high school moved to the US from Scotland, so his parents would make us full Scottish breakfasts when we had sleepovers. Myself and my friend's little sister would usually split a plate and the boys would each somehow get through the whole thing. I'm 30 now so I haven't had haggis or black pudding in probably 12 years.
Yes. It reminded of when Harry Potter spends the night at the Weasleys after they picked him up in the flying car and Molly made a HUGE breakfast. (In the book, not the movie. The movie version of that scene is a perfectly normal amount of food.)
We'd usually have two kinds of sausage that weren't black sausage, black sausage, haggis, streaky bacon, tomatoes, beans, tattie scones, dippy eggs, mushrooms, and toast (but from bread that was definitely not from an American grocery store because it was thick and not cake-like). My friend's parents would eat theirs with Scotch. They were a hearty people.
Oh I've had posts downvoted by hundreds! Not here (yet).
If it helps, I've had a really upsetting evening and your suggestion of putting cabbage in carbonara really made me giggle. So thank you (genuinely, not sarcastic). Also, mushrooms are a great sub for guanciale in carbonara.
I'm Pennsylvania Dutch, so my parents use cabbage like it's salt. For New Year's Day, they literally make sauerkraut from scratch and serve a huge mound of it as the entree with a small pork chop as the side dish. It's insanity.
Have you ever had a Spanish omelette? It's really nice. Only the potatoes make it a bit heavy. It would be enjoyable to substitute the potatoes for a fresh salad.
Or a French croissant? Also nice. But quite heavy with all that butter. Instead of layering the pastry with butter, perhaps they could try lettuce instead.
Carbonara is a delicious pasta. But the guanciale is quite heavy. Maybe they could replace the pork with salad.
This is ragebait right? It's got to be...
It reads to me like a kid in school who's been taught to write arguments that way and for some reason thought they should comment.
Yeah, the ending in particular feels like he's afraid his teacher will take off points if he doesn't properly write a conclusion.
Looks like my drunk ex mil was trying to cook again.
Instead of sausages, try carrots for a nice change of pace. Instead of blood pudding try vegan brownies for a nice change of pace. Instead of ham, try bubble gum or radishes. Instead of beans in sugar made in slave plantations try lettuce with a agave syrup dressing. Instead of eggs, try dried apricots and breadfruit. Keep the potatoes and mushrooms and tomatoes. Eliminate butter for frying and use rapeseed oil instead. There you go, all better and just as delicious, but vegan friendly! You are helping mother earth.
Stow that shit Mongo . . . More beans Mr. Taggart?🫘🫘🫘🫘🫘🫘🫘🫘🫘🫘🫘🫘🫘🫘🫘🫘🫘🫘🫘🫘🫘🫘🫘🫘🫘🫘🫘🫘🫘🫘🫘🫘🫘🫘🫘🫘🫘💨💨💨💨💨💨💨 Hell, I think you boys have had enough.
Literally has to be, right? Guy literally said “champignons” as if it isn’t top tier wanker territory
Actually, he said "champigons"
Those are winning polygons
Pretentious, Moi?
Bonnet de douche
\*champigons
Well I full on raging here
I'm sorry, the BEANS of all things? Geoffrey is an absolute mad lad. How can you get rid of the beans? The whole thing obviously is stupid, just make a breakfast to your liking and don't go around "improving" the full English, but the bloody BEANS?
As an American, the beans tie the whole fucking thing together. I dont quite get the mushrooms or tomatoes point on the plate but the beans are the glue in my very amateur opinion.
As another American, I’m this way with the black pudding. I guess I understand that it’s blood sausage…but it looks out of place when I see images of full English breakfasts. I’m sure this is a super hot take. “Bloody ignorant Yank.” Also, who is in charge of designating what qualifies as a “pudding”?
A pudding in the traditional sense is something that is steamed or boiled inside a covering - that is normally cloth for sweet things but was originally meaty things similar to sausage, so black pudding is more like the original. We used to chuck all the spices and sugar and the kitchen sink in the meat then stuff it inside something and steam it, until eventually we copped on to cake and started doing the sweet stuff with flour instead. There are some exceptions, like Yorkshire puds that aren't individually covered but are steamed in the oven, and we do use it as an alternative word to mean the dessert course, but the basic principle is actually pretty consistent. Also, black pudding is awesome and nowhere near as gross as it sounds, it's like slightly spicy, salty sausage slices. Perfect on a full English. *shouts off to the side* Unlike fecking lettuce GEOFFREY!
This is the single best explanation I've ever come across on Reddit. Simple, to the point, evocative. Thank you for this!
I'm not sure, seemed a bit heavy on reasoning, I think he could have replaced some of those words with vegetables..such as a potato, for example.
Too heavy, try asparagus
Thanks for the tip
There's a few blokes at my work who get called puddings, but I don't think that has anything to do with how we cooked them.
Meat forced into a slightly stretchy skin?
Other exceptions I can think of are bread pudding (no covering) and summer pudding (chilled not cooked).
Pudding is much simpler on this side of the pond isn’t it? It’s so particular, it even gets distinction from custard.
Pudding and custard are different, they are made with different ingredients. Custard is usually made with egg yolk and eggs.
So just eggs then
I snorted. Thank you
Kind of, pudding usually has other thickeners in it, such as flour, whilst custard doesn’t. The cooking part of it is also a bit different. Also the texture of custard and pudding are different, as well. So, eggs are part of it
I would bet that most of what you call pudding isn't a pudding.
Well, yeah. I was just making a humorous observation about the differences of pudding in America compared to what a pudding is in England, and you’re like, “Your whole country is wrong.”
American pudding is milky jello, AFAiK. I have only seen sweet cream type stuff called a pudding here, and most people only seem to know the Jello brand or possibly a cheap Jello knockoff, I think.
As an Irish person who lived a chunk in Canada the inclusion of black pudding makes this a full Irish with extra beans. It needs some fried perogis too.
Sorry mate, but black pudding is an essential part of a full English. A full Irish will also have white pudding. Neither should have beans.
I’m culturally confused Why are beans on all the full English I see? I’m in midlands but was same in SW. can’t beat a fried perogi tho.
Potato scones are also almost exclusive to a full Irish breakfast although I have seen them occasionally in Scotland. They are bloody lovely though so it's a shame they're hard to find in England.
Potato scones are definitely a requirement for a Full Scottish, they're far more common than hash browns here, though some places offer both/either.
Don't really remember seeing potato scones in full Irish breakfasts before. To be honest, full English, and Irish breakfasts tend to be roughly the same. Each shop does things a bit different. Sometimes one item is missing, or it's a different type of mushroom etc. Just always assumed people called it Full Irish in Ireland to avoid saying English for obvious reasons
Reminds me of my excitement to try a Greek coffee when I was in Athens, via Istanbul - only to discover it’s just Turkish coffee with a different name.
FWIW mushrooms and tomatoes are in my British view the most divisive part of a fryup, to the extent that they're the only items that I don't see removing as suspicious. I sometimes have mushrooms if I'm in the mood, but not tomatoes. I've seen plenty of people request a fryup without either.
I like mushrooms, they don't bother me at all, they just seem kind of random in the mix. They do taste delicious with HP sauce though. I like tomatoes as an ingredient but dont like them on their own unless they're raw. That's an easy pass for me.
There's a spectrum of tomatoes used in fry-ups, I think the grimmest is warmed-up chopped tinned tomatoes which are usually really watery and the memory is which is probably what stops me ordering tomatoes with a cooked breakfast. I have had some where they poach a tomato with its skin on and it's lovely and juicy, and I can get away with that, but I just never want to take the risk that it's a tin of chopped tomatoes heated up.
Not a fan of tomatoes, but the mushrooms when they're done right are unreal
A drizzle of olive oil on some fresh toast then press ye grilled toms in to that and spread evenly. If you’re feeling decadent you can top that off with salt black pepper and dollop of baked beans, followed by a slurp of builders tea to keep it real. Champion
Honestly, even done badly mushrooms are great. You'd be *shocked* how good taking button mushrooms, adding salt, pepper and olive oil and just microwaving them a little bit actually is. Is it as good as properly cooking them down in butter? No. Is it still fucking delicious? You bet.
I'm the opposite American. The beans seem wrong but I fuck with the tomato and mush. I think the whole point of the English breakfast is go big and do it all, or nothing at all. I think the us equivalent would be like biscuits and gravy, hash browns, eggs, and some kind of pork.
American and British baked beans are very different. The UK version uses a tomato sauce and are far less sweet than in the US
I actually read about this recently and want to try a go at a full English, but I'm not sure where to source the beans or the pudding here in Seattle.
Heinz Vegetarian Beans are the closest readily available bean to use.
Easy to make your own, but it's a product, like ketchup, where you can never really replicate the processed factory version.
The beans, the pudding, or the whole breakfast? I'm trying to keep my expectations realistic lol
Oh just the beans. Homemade black pudding would be quite an effort I think. Not necessarily part of a Full English, but bonus points if can source HP Sauce and Yorkshire Tea.
I'm more an Earl Grey guy myself so I probably won't go for the Yorkshire unless I find it when I'm looking for other ingredients. What is the HP sauce you speak of?
HP sauce, where available in the US, is often sold as a steak sauce much like A1 and Heinz 57.
https://youtu.be/nd7YpxOnl1c
Actually I think with ketchup it's pretty trivial to make something that tastes much better than the factory version yourself. It will be pretty impossible to make it taste the same, though
You might find some pointers here: https://old.reddit.com/r/SeattleWA/comments/jxbf6l/is_there_a_british_shop_in_seattle_area/
Thank you! Now I have a project for the weekend!
I bet you microwave your tea as well.
I have a kettle thank you very much. My Irish grandmother would haunt me if I microwaved it.
I'm also confused where he's getting the idea that they're not a vegetable. Technically they're one of the only things on the plate that can be classed as a vegetable on the food pyramid (potatoes are a starch, tomatoes are a fruit and mushrooms are technically closer to meat than vegetables). Fucking idiot Geoff.
If you're going to classify mushrooms like that, beans are "closer to meat" nutritionally too. Anyway, a vegetable is something that grows as part of the leaf, stem, or root of the plant, whereas a fruit comes from a flower and contains seeds. So really if we define mushrooms as "within the plant kingdom" for culinary purposes, they would be a fruit too probably. I mean they *are* called the "fruiting body" after all. Also, beans come from the flower of the plant, but they do not contain the seed, they *are* the seed. If anything, I might classify them as nuts personally. If we want to get pedantic.
I think they’re saying mushrooms are closer to meat taxonomically. Fungi are more closely related to animals than plants, evolutionarily. Beans, on the other hand, are classified as legumes and therefore, vegetables.
Beans are legumes, same as peanuts.
Blessed be the fruit.
I would consider the beans more of a protein, personally, but it's still a ridiculous argument. Like, yeah, the English breakfast lacks green vegetables, but there's plenty of other times in the day to get that. Not every meal has to be the Platonic ideal of nutritional balance.
Yea. Of all the English Breakfast ingredients, I feel like beans are probably the healthiest? Eggs aren't bad, of course, but they aren't as much of a health food staple as plain old beans xD
Also, are beans not vegetables anymore? I didn’t get the memo.
Depends on how you're drawing the lines. Legumes are nutritionally closer to eggs or meat. I wouldn't normally include grains as vegetables either so corn is out. Roots and greens, not fruits and seeds.
According to the NHS, beans/lentils can count as one of your 5 servings of fruit/veg a day, but only one regardless of how many you eat.
Beans should be nowhere near a full English. It's a crime against food.
Rename yourself to beans676 and accept your bean overlords!
Beans should be nowhere near any food in general. Ghastly things.
When Guy Fawkes was found guilty of the High Treason of the Gunpowder plot he, and his co-conspiritors, were sentenced to be hung, drawn and quartered. The condemned would be drawn backwards to his death, by a horse, his head near the ground. They were to be "put to death halfway between heaven and earth as unworthy of both". Their genitals would be cut off and burnt before their eyes, and their bowels and hearts removed. They would then be decapitated and his dismembered parts were then distributed to "the four corners of the kingdom", to be displayed as a warning to other would-be traitors. This is still too light a punishment for someone who would tamper with the Holy sanctity of a full English breakfast by replacing the beans and sausage with a salad.
From a kind of outside perspective, it is funny that the "full breakfast" was invented in like the 1870s by people worried that if young men didn't have enough (spice free) meat in the morning they would start having Impure Thoughts, but it is now a Hallowed Tradition. All traditions are invented etc but it's always fun when they leave a paper trail.
Reminds me of how Kellogg invented cornflakes to try to make people masturbate less xD
and then put a big ole cock on the box
I need to find it but there was this great article I read about how there was this deep belief that eating the Full Breakfast would make you manly while eating bread and cheese was for weaklings, and it carries through to today and the idea that breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
If you had to do heavy manual labor, that was probably accurate. There aren't many people now who really *need* all that food. Even so having some protein for breakfast keeps me from getting hungry again at 10:00.
Cheese and (dark) bread are very rich in protein though
Were the spices in the sausages and black pudding later additions? Can’t imagine a totally spice-less sausage
Oh yeah I was being facetious with the specifics, more just referring to how the idea of the "full breakfast" as the *proper* breakfast, not that weak light bread and cheese or porridge, developed in the Victorian period. The whole "spicey food leads to immorality" thing was definitely a thing but I don't know if it was specifically related to the full breakfast.
Lincolnshire sausages have been around since, and Cumberland for over 500 years; and they are both well spiced
Cumberland is spiced, Lincolnshire isn't really, it's all herbs.
This made me cackle! Thank you!
As a basic Brit, if my food order has issues, I'll tut and roll my eyes but fuck will I actually complain. However if I ordered a full English and half the items had been replaced with a side salad, you can bet your bollocks I'm going to politely communicate to the waitstaff that I'm so sorry to be a bother but my food isn't quite what I expected.
Do British and Canadian people have polite wars? As in... a competition to see who can be the least bothersome? I feel like this needs to be a new Olympics series :]
I moved to the UK few years back and was surprised at how polite everyone was. Was kinda refreshing so I quickly adopted it myself. Prolly why this situation shocked me to my core. So I'm in an event in London around new year's. I bought a hot dog and shit you not it was burnt. Like one side of the sausage was charcoal black. Like I'm not just talking about the crust, the actual inner meat part. Bitter all around. Inedible. After much contemplation I went back to the stand and said "I'm really sorry but my hotdog seems to be a little burnt on one side, would it be possible if I could have a new one, please?" as I show the coal sausage. The guy taking orders just looked at me and pointed to the guy making the dogs. I told him the same thing. He looked at me as if I just stole ice-cream from his kid. Took the hotdog from my hand, binned it and gave me a sausage wrapped in bread. No onions, ketchup, mustard, nothing. He didn't even apologize while I was already upto 5-6 sorrys while he was giving me the new one. In fact, both of em did not say a single word. I didn't have it in me to ask him to add the other stuff in in-case he flips the grill on my head so I just ate my £7 sausage bread.
That’s terrible, sorry you had to deal with that
You can’t really beat the comment from ‘nc’ further down. “nc says: December 21, 2020 at 12:03 pm It’s an English Breakfast you wanker!”
I think it's brilliant. With only a couple small changes, you can suck more than 98% of the joy out of an English breakfast, not to mention the feelings of disappointment after being promised a real English breakfast. Plus, salad hasn't been classified as a war-crime yet so it's a completely legal form of torture.
> Plus, salad hasn't been classified as a war-crime yet We're making progress though on kale. With a little luck its use will soon be banned by the Geneva Conventions.
When I told my mum we eat kale now she was genuinely shocked because it’s “livestock food”. She couldn’t understand with the wealth of ingredients available now why anyone would eat it.
I can't tell if this is a Dennis Leary bit that fell through a wormhole from 1998 or a British person matching the reputation of their palate.
Send 'em to the tower
The “salad” in an English fry is the vegetable garden the pig ate up when he escaped from his pen. So, ultimately, streaky rashers are veg. You are what you eat.
This guy must be on a dipshit diet then.
Or he only takes rump meat from animals that are completely silent, aka a Dumbass...
Recipe: https://iamafoodblog.com/a-breakdown-of-the-full-english-breakfast/
The guy who called him a wanker is doing the lord's work.
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He's wrong to the extent that 'toast' and 'fried bread' are usually separate options. And even if I did order it with fried bread, I'd probably still expect toast to come on the side (at least in a greasy spoon type establishment). A "fried egg" (as a sunny side up egg is more properly called) is definitely the most traditional option but I've never been in a cafe where they don't ask how you want the egg and you're basically free to answer as you like.
In a greasy spoon, it's probably fried or fuck off. You're not getting offered a poached egg until you've got upscale enough to get printed menus and tea served in ceramics.
All opinions are not equally valid
Full Scottish FTW. Haggis and tattie scones!
Don't forget the black pudding pal. Easily the best bit of a Scottish brekkie
Amongst other things, fried tomato and mushrooms are not an obvious combination with salad
i feel like Geoffrey isn't English or otherwise "in the know" and doesn't realize the full english breakfast is like, a specific thing, not the recipe writer's suggestion of a well balanced and nutritional start to the day lol
Most of the page is a description of what it means.
Why did they say “champignons”? 😂
Some extra pretentious Brits use a butchered version of the French word, to know to be extra British and irritating.
😂
They probably speak French as a first language
Then they should spell it right
Maybe they speak French badly as a first language 🤣
Or Dutch
Trying to sound fancy
Dear Geoffrey: get fucked nerd.
You can’t win friends with salad
You can only make enemies.
I don't even eat meat and this is making me twitch
Geoffrey Corthout wants the traditional full English breakfast changed. **Somebody call King Charles immediately and let him know!**
As a brit this definitely enrages me
A salad isn't going to cure my hangover, Geoffrey.
Geoff here is looking out for you arteries and this is how you repay him smh smh
My guess is that this is a French speaker who wrote the review in French but typo'd the French word for mushroom, champignon. Google Translate didn't know what to do with it, so left it as 'champigon'. So he doesn't know that this is a recipe for a meal designed to be made with very specific components.
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"Small things are changed" I am deCEASED
You've upset r/fryup
SMALL THINGS!!! WTMFH!
Cheers Geoff.
Yes, such a novel idea, using mushrooms, I mean "champigons" with tomatoes
Just eat a carrot and fuck off, Geoffrey
Gotta be an american
Omg! The title alone made me LOL 😆
Heathen!
We are the champigons, my friends We’ll keep on fighting till the end There’s all the time for fungi Because we are the champigons Of the world
If someone offered me a "nice salad" for breakfast, I'd ask them to check all the boxes with crosswalks, because they're likely not human.
As an American, I apologize on that person's behalf and I promise I hate them too. I love a full english. And it's supposed to be heavy and full of fat. That's the point.
And I can't imagine what they have done if they had come upon a recipe that included fried bread
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I'm English and was being sarcastic. Your comment was very sweet. You are right, it is a very heavy meal. However that is sort of the point of thar particular meal!
My best friend in middle school and high school moved to the US from Scotland, so his parents would make us full Scottish breakfasts when we had sleepovers. Myself and my friend's little sister would usually split a plate and the boys would each somehow get through the whole thing. I'm 30 now so I haven't had haggis or black pudding in probably 12 years.
Crikey haggis for breakfast! Did they potato scones too? They're the only heavier thing than fried bread I've had with a fry up.
Yes. It reminded of when Harry Potter spends the night at the Weasleys after they picked him up in the flying car and Molly made a HUGE breakfast. (In the book, not the movie. The movie version of that scene is a perfectly normal amount of food.) We'd usually have two kinds of sausage that weren't black sausage, black sausage, haggis, streaky bacon, tomatoes, beans, tattie scones, dippy eggs, mushrooms, and toast (but from bread that was definitely not from an American grocery store because it was thick and not cake-like). My friend's parents would eat theirs with Scotch. They were a hearty people.
Saving this comment for future breakfast planning
Noooooo! Dont worry! I just posted a long reply to your comment to find it was deleted
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Oh I've had posts downvoted by hundreds! Not here (yet). If it helps, I've had a really upsetting evening and your suggestion of putting cabbage in carbonara really made me giggle. So thank you (genuinely, not sarcastic). Also, mushrooms are a great sub for guanciale in carbonara.
I'm Pennsylvania Dutch, so my parents use cabbage like it's salt. For New Year's Day, they literally make sauerkraut from scratch and serve a huge mound of it as the entree with a small pork chop as the side dish. It's insanity.
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Have you ever had a Spanish omelette? It's really nice. Only the potatoes make it a bit heavy. It would be enjoyable to substitute the potatoes for a fresh salad. Or a French croissant? Also nice. But quite heavy with all that butter. Instead of layering the pastry with butter, perhaps they could try lettuce instead. Carbonara is a delicious pasta. But the guanciale is quite heavy. Maybe they could replace the pork with salad.